Pony Guide To Marketing

by philipkotler

Rating: mature
Tags: Flim and Flam, Big Macintosh, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Romance
Length: 3404

Flim Flam Sisters want to buy some apples so they will have to negotiate with Big Mac.

Flim Flam Sisters want to buy some apples so they will have to negotiate with Big Mac.

Published 2012-07-22 03:34:03 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-22 03:34:03 UTC

Pony Guide To Marketing

These two again? Flim Flam Sisters, was it? Those smiles, just as disgusting as ever. What they are even doing here still? Shouldn’t they be some other place by now? Competition was yesterday. They can’t kick us from our home any more. Oh, when I just think about it, I swear to Celestia if they were stallions I’d...

But unfortunately, those were mares. Unicorn sisters approached him during his work. Greeted him cheerfully, pretending like nothing ever happened. Big Mac snorted, gave them the ugliest look he could muster and turned his back to start working fields again. He’s a busy stallion alright.

“Mr. Apple, we do realise we have, how to put it... bad experiences with each other?”

“But you see, we have a tiny tiny problem to solve before leaving this town, and you are simply, our only hope...”

Red stallion couldn’t care less. He also couldn’t remember any noise more annoying than their ringing voices - until he brought back his memories of their laughter.

“We are just about to leave, but we just can’t effort to fail in the next town, not again.”

“And you see Mr. Apple, we believe it would double our chances if we had some apples of our own to begin with.”

“I’m sure we can cut a deal here. After all, it’s easy to notice that in this family, you are the reasonable one.”

“80 bits for a crate Mr. Apple?”

Silence. 10 seconds in, Big Mac still working fields.

“No, wait dear sister, we agreed before to give him 50 bits for a crate. We can’t buy them for 80, it’s too expensive!”

Another 10 seconds of awkward silence.

“Okay, you are a good one Mr. Apple. 100 for a crate.”

“What, 100? Dear sister, have you gone crazy? No way.”

“Mr. Apple, quick! Let’s agree before my sister stops me. It’s your only chance to cut this amazing deal.”

“I’m going to stop her any second now. Aaaaany second.”

...

“Okay, turns out Mr. Apple is not going to negotiate with us.”

“Indeed dear sister, he probably figured that we have no money anyway and we would pay him no earlier than next month.”

“Not to mention that Mr. Apple is surely still angry for yesterday.”

Can’t they just stop?

Big Mac wondered. He could have just said “nope”. Like “Nope, there is no way I’m giving you any apples. And I don’t want your money. Go away.” Sisters wouldn’t have to answer to themselves in neverending rattle and they would just leave him. Why he didn’t said “nope”? After all, it’s like, his favourite word.

“But there is still hope dear sister, while we can’t effort money, we can pay in special services.”

“Mr. Apple may not know, after all, that Flim Flam Sisters are not only great inventors, but also great love makers.”

Big Mac felt his ear twitched. They couldn’t possibly...

Then one of the sisters grabbed him and placed in a sitting position. Both unicorns sat in front of him. He gave them a mean look. In response, sisters gave him smiles that suppose to present their good intentions. It only made Mac feel sick.

“Mr. Apple. Let me bring your interest to our special offer.”

“It is no secret, after all, that Flim Flam Sisters are world wide desired mares.”

Yeah, sure.

“What would you say, Mr. Apple? Pleasure of having a fine mare like me, for just a few apple crates. It’s a deal of your life. To be honest, I’d never agree on this if you wouldn’t... be such a handsome stallion yourself.” she leaned a little closer to him and lowered her voice. “...and you will also have sister of mine here, for free.”

“WHAT, DEAR SISTER?”

Then, sisters negotiated between each other their individual value in the number of apple crates, just to Big Mac’s disgust.

Who do they think I am? You could say many things about me, but I’m not that kind of stallion. I couldn’t take a mare I would not care about. Have feelings for her. Let alone one of these witches. They are just wasting my time.

“Sister of mine, maybe Mr. Apple does not believe us?”

“Well, dear sister, I think we should give him a free sample.”

Of what?

Both unicorns placed their hooves on each other shoulders, took a peak on Big Mac, to see the look on his face, and then they traded looks between themselves. After a while their lips connected.

A wave of heat flew trough Big Mac’s body. He could feel his spine frozen straight. His mind races.

WHAT IS THIS! They are sisters, right!? Now this is just crossing the line.

His chest felt heavy. He could feel tension building in his hooves as he stood there looking at Flim Flam Sisters trading pleasures, occasionally stroking each other red-white striped manes. It was so quiet on the fields that day. Big Mac could hear them discretely moaning between the sounds of their working lips.

Normally, seeing ponies like that, Big Mac would just look away. But this time, it was different. It was a show put just for him. He never seen kissing from this close. He never seen mares kissing. He never seen sisters kissing.

After a few seconds, which Big Mac could easily mistake with minutes, they broke their kiss, a tiny trail of wetness still connecting their lips for a brief second right as they departed.

“I see we came to an agreement Mr. Apple” one of the sisters said as she raised her hoof to close red stallion’s open jaw. Just then he realised a trail of saliva on his chin.

Congratulations Mac, you’ve just reached a brand new level of low.

“If it’s not a problem, we would love to see your apple storage.”

Mac traded looks with them for a moment, their smiles more fake and ugly than ever, then he got up, and moved to guide the way.

“I’ll give you apples you want, for free, and leave me alone already, I have a lot of work waitin.” he wanted to say, but in truth, he said nothing.

***

Apple Family’s Apple Cellar. Usually it’s cold in here, well not today. Mac felt shivers run trough his body regardless.

“So many sweet, sweet apples. Dear sister, do the honors.”

“Flipping the coin as I speak, sister of mine. Oh. Tails. Turns out I’m first Mr. Apple.”

What? I didn’t even-

She took off her hat, lend it to her sister, locks of her striped mane set free. Hoof after hoof she turned around. Her red/white tail waves, waiting. She turned her head back to meet his eyes and gave him an inviting smile. Both sisters locking their gazes on red stallion, eager to see him make his move.

Nope. Just say it and give them apples. Just say “nope”. It’ll be easier to explain to Applejack than... than this mess.

“No need to be shy. Hop on me Mr. Apple.”

While standing there, fighting with himself, he had a moment to examine unicorn salespony before him. Pale color of her skin would suggest she does not stay outdoors too often. That was most likely true. These are tinker mares alright, inventors. Probably spent their best years working on their cider machine. When put this way - they are hard working ponies too, just like him.

She shook her rump in anticipation. She was pretty tall for a mare. Still, Mac was bigger. Then he noticed her thin legs. He never liked thin legs and hers were the thinnest he ever seen. Closer to a deer than to a pony. He wondered if her body can take it. Shouldn’t those legs break under his massive body?

This, I’d love to see happen.

He felt a smile forming on his face. Pale mare probably noticed it because her dirty smirk widened twofold.

NO! THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK, YOU- UH!

It was not, but his hooves moved forward anyway. He was no longer smiling. This was not how he planned to handle this. Not at all.

He stopped right behind her. Striped tail smacked him on the muzzle. He could feel her strong smell. He never felt any scent like this before, and he already hated it. He just wanted to get it over with.

If Applejack finds out about this...

He was ready. He was ready for quite a while now. He placed his hooves on her, her upper body bent under his weight, he heard unicorn gasp as she rested her head on the floor, her lower body still up, struggling though. She spread her hooves a little to keep the balance.

Her position was just right. Only thing he had to do now was to move forward. So he did, carefully exploring his way in. Her muscles were tight, giving him a welcoming sensation. He could see her bite her lips. She made no noises but her body shivered. Her legs nervously changed position with every inch he put in. Her sister stood there, not daring to make any sound either, just observed them with wide eyes.

But the other unicorn was not of Mac’s concern right now. He was already on his way back, his mare was red, she could hardly breath. Maybe he was too rough? Not that he cared. As soon as he got into the right position he made another thrust. And another. Third one broke her.

“Ah, wait... s-stop.”

No deal. Serves you right. Next strike stronger than the last.

“N-No, Agh!” her voice weak. “Mr. Apple, stop... please.”

Her good meant nothing for him. Still... he obeyed. His next stroke slow and careful. She gave a deep sigh of relief and her muscles relaxed a bit. They went like that for a while. Then he found the right pace.

“Are you sure you can handle this, dear sister? How does it feel?”

“Well, depends how he does it. Besides, don’t you know already? We done it many times, remember, sister of mine?”

Ringing voices...

“Ah, obviously, dear sister. Many, many times. What was the name of that white pegasus we had last time? Emerald Dream, was it?”

“Hah, that’s a fine name. You really heard it somewhere?”

“Nope,” she giggled. “Just made it up on the go.”

Stop talking!

If he would just speed up again, it would surely silence her. Instead, he just released hot breath from his nostrils. Hot from anger building up in him. He couldn’t say which anger was stronger. The one on the Flim Flam Sisters, for talking so much – the fake one. Or the one on himself, for enjoying it.

He couldn’t lie to himself any more. He loved it all. Their smiles, their laugh, their sweet, sweet voices. From the very first time he saw them. And now he had one of them, probably one of the finest mares he ever seen. He felt guilty for enjoying his time with this witch. It was humiliating. It was perfect.

“Gah!” she moaned, Mac smiled.

“Is it that good, dear sister?”

“It’s far better, sister of mi- Oh!-“ She couldn’t connect the words. “I’m... I’m melting.”

Somehow, Big Mac felt two times bigger. His head getting overwhelmed by waves of hormones, his body moving by itself, only thing he had to do was enjoying every moment.

“Mr. Apple, we... we should stop... stop before... AH!”

Every next stroke felt better than the last.

“It should... be my sister’s turn now...”

Well she’s right. It felt wrong to stop now, but he did. He pulled himself out, savoring every last moment, unicorn below him shivered, panting heavy. He took his hooves of her. She would collapse on the floor, but he was right in time to offer his shoulder for her to rest her side on. He never had a chance to see her face from this close, she looked in his eyes with surprised smile and planted a quick kiss on his muzzle. If he weren’t a red pony in the first place, he would turn into one right now.

“Sister of mine, Mr. Apple is all yours now.” she said as soon as she regained her balance on all fours.

“Maybe... it’s not a good idea, dear sister? I mean, you two should finish what you started.”

Mac learned by now how to say apart Flim Flam Sisters by their manner of speaking. There was Mr. Apple Sister, the one he just had, and the Dear Sister Sister.

“We offered both of us, remember? Deal is a deal, sister of mine. Don’t make Mr. Apple waiting.”

He also knew which sister was his favorite.

She used her lips to help her sister take of her hat. It never occurred to Mac before, how cute mares were looking, holding things in their mouths. Dear Sister Sister needed a poke from her twin to finally make a move.

Red stallion examined curves of her body working as she turned around, her salespony outfit only made it better. Next moment he had her butt right in front of him, figure just as her sister’s, and those thin legs he liked so much. Strong smell was also the same.

“Start already, will you?” she said, eyes pinned on the floor below her.

No need to hurry. He lowered his head closer to her private parts, to have another take on her sweet scent. Touch of his breath took her off guard, she jumped in place making a squeal sound. Her sister giggled.

He made her waiting no more. He placed himself on her back, she bent before him with a sigh. Soon, she was touching floor with her snout. She groaned as he entered her for the first time. Her insides a bit different, wet, maybe cold? It felt fresh.
Her muscles loosen up as he tried his next way in. Before he noticed, she was full relaxed, moaning loud on every thrust.

She is more responsive.

He dared to speed up his movement which forced out of her a noise, sounding like something between gasp and laughter.

“Faster!” she commanded, pushing her hips upward in an arc, only to Mac’s shock and delight. Soon they were parts of one machine, both working in perfect harmony.

Second sister stood in front them. Face to face with Mac, her sibling’s head below her. He couldn’t say when exactly she got this close.

“Mr. Apple...”

Her calm voice got his attention. Though, it required a lot of effort to concentrate. Image a little blurry, still, it was her. Alicorns beauty couldn’t compare to hers. She moved closer to him, closing her eyes. Next thing he felt was touch of her lips on his. They kissed.

He tried to think about it, focus on the feeling. All in vein. He lost his grip on reality by now. All the sensations crushing him, driving him crazy. How did he got here again? Everything spinning, his blood boiling.

They continued like this for a longer while. Making marketing in the comfortable dark and quietness of the apple cellar. Kiss after kiss, thrust after thrust. It took so long he could say they were doing it forever. At the same time it felt too short. He couldn’t take much more. He was very close.

She broke the kiss. He leaned his head after her, still hungry for more.

“Okay Mr. Apple. Now stop for a second.”

He refused to listen. Closed his eyes tight. Focusing on her sister.

“Mr. Apple, stop.” She repeated.

Not now.

“Let... Let him finish... dear sister...”

“No, you two stop before it’s too late. This is not how we planned this, sister!”

“Let him be. I... I feel... it’s building up in me. I’m going to- AH!”

He was on his edge too. Tension gathering, ready for release any second now. He opened his eyes. His favourite sister still facing him. She sighed, resigned. She closed her eyes. Moved closer to him. Opened her mouth. He already knew what to do. He closed the gap between them, locking his lips with hers, forcing his tongue into her. Then it hit him.

“AAAagh!” sharp wave of pain thrown him backward.

Did she just? Ah! She did! THAT WITCH DID IT!

Taste of blood in his mouth. She bit him so hard he lost feel in his tongue. Maybe he no longer had it? He was so close. And she made him stop at such moment. He took a look at her. He felt something new building up in him.

“My sincerest apologies Mr. Apple.” she said, his favorite sister no more.

His erection pulsing, unfulfilled. Each pound of his heart shacking him, unbearable. His eyes hurt, vision almost red. He could jump on her any second, oh, things he could do to her right now. Last shreds of sanity holding him in place.

“You are such a kill joy, dear sister.” said unicorn lying on the ground, panting.

“Don’t get greedy, sister of mine. We still have some research to do.” she turned her attention to Mac. “Mr. Apple, I’m so terribly sorry. You were about to finish but we can’t let you just now. We still have some things planned for you.” she got closer. Her hoof touched his face. He was shaking.

Keep yourself together. You don’t want to hurt her.

“Here, lay back Mr. Apple.” she pushed his collar, getting him into sitting position. “Make yourself comfortable. Relax. I hope it doesn’t hurt too much.” she said, petting him on the cheek.

It was hard to say right now. Though, he will probably feel the wound tomorrow.

“Here, I’m sorry. I’ll make up for this.” she nuzzled him, it worked.

Wait... what they are-

Position he was in, left him fully exposed. Sisters sat there in front of him, observing.

“So this is how it looks like, dear sister.”

“Indeed, quite interesting, um, I mean, let’s not act like we’ve never seen one before, sister of mine.”

“Ah yes, obviously, we seen... lots...” she bent her head closer. “of those...” opening her mouth, he could feel her wet breath.

W- WHAT?!

She licked it. What was technically a 3 cm of gentle touch for Big Mac was like a sharp object cutting a deep wound of pleasure right into his brain.

“AH!” a spark ran trough his body. Dear Sister Sister leaned back, caught off guard by the reaction she caused. She took a look at him, spark of curiosity in her eyes. Mr. Apple Sister smirked, and took her own try on him.

“AAAh!” another cut. Long, deep and precise.

Soon they were both sharing him, observing his reactions, experimenting. His head spinning faster again. He forgot about his tongue pain, he still felt the taste of blood though.

His forearms, moved by instinct, got on sisters heads, unicorns had nothing against. Not that he wanted to affect their work anyhow. No. Just being there, his hooves buried in their wavy manes, gave him more sensations - made the sense of motion clearer.

One of the sisters took entire head in her mouth. He growled heavy, bent his neck backward, eyes closed shut. Pulses riding trough his spine. The ultimate prize, he has been denied before, is in his reach once again. Just a little bit more. He couldn’t breath. One more lick. One more cut.

And then it happened. Triggers been pulled. Chain reaction started. Sisters could as well stop now, he would explode anyway. But there was still time, a second, maybe two, every sensation tripled in power for that brief last moment.

***

“Ready Flim?”

“Ready Flam.”

Those names will never stop being silly.

Big Mac knew he need to clean the place before somepony notices. But it could wait. Sisters were a little short on time so he had some apple carrying to do now.

“Just look, dear sister. He haven’t forgot about the apples. He really is perfect. Too bad we can’t stay in Ponyville.”

“Indeed, sister of mine.” she turned to Mac “Oh, don’t you trouble yourself Mr. Apple. The truth is we never needed any apples. We can’t effort transporting them so far.”

She planted him a kiss on the muzzle before sisters left the cellar. Mr. Apple just stood there, more confused than ever in his entire life.