Seeing is believing

"Alright everypony, Princess Celestia has given us an important task" said Twilight through the door.

"Oh! Oh! Are we throwing sompony a party?" Pinkie asked with her usual level of enthusiasm.

"No Pinkie, we're not throwing a party"

"Aww"

"Anyways," continued Twilight, "as some of you may know, last night, something unusual happened. Because of this, we have been entrusted to keep a secret"

I still didn't understand why Princess Celestia had decided to keep my existence a secret from Ponyvile. They seemed to get along well with Zecora, albeit with a rocky start. Well better safe than sorry, I guess.

Murmuring was heard from the other ponies present.

"Now I need everypony to remain calm for this. I was scared at first, but I assure you that everything will be alright"

"Jeez Twilight, dramatic much?" I thought.

"Micheal, will you please come here," Twilight said.

"Here goes nothing," I thought.

I Pushed open the door to see the increasingly surprised look on three ponies faces. Applejack's pupils shrank while Pinkie Pie's jaw nearly hit the ground. Rarity, doing the best to maintain her composure, reached over and pushed Pinkie's jaw back into a close.

"Uh hi, um everypony. I'm Michael."

Smooth like rocks in a blender.

"Come on, Introduce yourselves," Twilight said impatiently.

"Yeah AJ, go say hi to the alien," Rainbow said tauntingly as she nudged Applejack forward.

"A-alien," Applejack stuttered, "I heard tails about ya'll from the cowfolks, but I never reckoned any of that was t-true."

Twilight deadpanned, "Not that kind of alien Applejack. He's been at my house all night and I'm fine."

Rainbow began to snicker at Applejack's hesitation.

"Yeah, I'm from another dimension," I said trying to relieve the tension.

"Wait, so this is you're first time in Equestria?" Pinkie asked as her shock was quickly replaced with excitement.

"Uh yeah, I suppose so."

"This is you're first time in Equestria, which means this is you're first time in Ponyvile, which means that you haven't had a welcome party!" Pinkie said with mounting enthusiasm, "this has to be an extra welcome-iest welcome party that ever welcomed anypony!"

"Pinkie"

"I can introduce you to everypony, too. Oh isn't this so exciting?"

"PINKIE!"

"GASP! does he even know what a cupcake is? Because if he doesn't he's going to be in for such a treat. Oh! speaking of treats, there can be punch and candy and pudding and cake, of course there has to be cake, and jello and-"

"PINKIEEEEEEEEE!"

"Yes Twilight?"

"What part of 'secret' don't you understand?" asked a very exasperated Twilight.

"Wait, so no party?"

"No, Pinkie, no party."

"Ohhhhhhh" a very grumpy Pinkie Pie groaned as she proceeded to sit on her haunches and pout.

"Forgive my friends for their outbursts Michael," said Rarity, who had recovered from her shock, "allow me to introduce myself; I am Rarity"

I decided that towering over the ponies wasn't going to help the situation anytime soon, so I took a few steps forward and set down cross legged on the floor.

"Hello Rarity," I said as I extended a hand for a handshake (hoofshake? hoof/handshake? brohoof??)

She looked a little uncertain at first, but eventually returned the gesture.

"Aw shucks, look at me gettin all worked up over some hooey those cows been spreadin around," Applejack said as she stepped forward.

"I'hm Applejack," said Applejack extending a hoof for another uncertainly named gesture of goodwill, "and the one with her lower lip hangin out is Pinkie Pie."

"Hey Pinkie Pie, sorry there isn't going to be a party," I said extending my hand.

Pinkie perked up and practically pounced on me.

"Oh it's ok Michael, it's not a big deal," she said as she leaned twords my ear, "you're going to have a party if I have anything to say about it."

This can only end well.

Before I can properly start worrying about what Pinkie just whispered I'm interrupted by Rarity.

"Darling, have you been wearing that all day?"

I look down at my surprisingly ratty clothes. I guess swamp water tends to do that.

"Yeah, I guess so," I said reluctantly.

"That simply won't do, Michael. I'm simply insist that I make you new clothes," Rarity replied.

"Well it's not like I can wear the same thing everyday," I thought.

"Uh, sure if it's not too much trouble"

"Oh I can't wait to get started on a design. This is certainly going to be a challenge," Rarity said as she began to examine me, "just come by Carousel Boutique this afternoon. Twilight can point you in the right direction."

"Rarity, how is he supposed to get across town without being seen?" Twilight asked.

Rarity turned to Twilight with a pout.

"But Twilight, he must simply get some new clothes," Rarity said, almost begging.

"Well his clothes still smell a little," Twilight said as her face scrunched up, "and I suppose I could teleport us to the Boutique."

"That's the spirit. Oh what fun," Rarity said as her face lit up in delight.

The ponies stayed a while longer, but eventually began to disperse. Applejack had work to do on the farm, Pinkie Pie had an order of cupcakes that needed to be filled, Rarity had to go home and make sure that Sweetie Bell wasn't going to be in the Boutique that afternoon, Fluttershy had to check up on a sick chipmunk, and Rainbow Dash saw that things were winding down and left. That left Twilight and I standing awkwardly in the Library after showing Dash out.

"Interesting group of friends you have Twilight," I began.

"I'm glad you got along with everypony," Twilight replied.

We stood there for a while longer.

"Um, I've got some research to be doing," Twilight said rubbing the back of her head with her hoof, "There's not much to do here besides read. I hope that's ok."

"Actually-" I began before I was struck with an idea "that sounds like a good idea. Do you have any paper?"

Twilight, looking relieved, quickly magicked over some parchment as well as a quill and some ink."

"Ok let me know if you need anything else," she said as she walked around the corner.

I went over to the bookshelf and selected a book at random as I turned to the horse head sculpture.

"You were right," I began, "If this really is a dream or hallucination or whatever than these books won't make any sense. If I can figure out how to translate the books into the English language, or at least find a pattern than I'm not hallucinating."

The horse head sculpture sat there quietly.

Feeling a little foolish, I rushed over to a table and abruptly stopped. The table came to about my knee and was void of any chairs. I decided to give it a try as I sat down cross legged and quickly discovered that a chin high table was very difficult to write on. I settled for lying down on the floor with the book and writing implements in front of me.

"Alright, let's get started," I thought as I began to decode the book.

I started with a simple substitution cipher.

"Alright this character seems to occur a lot so let's start with that one," I thought.

Time passed by in a blur as I discovered that Equestrian really was just a substitution cipher. I hit a few snags before I figured out that some English letter combinations like SH and CH were represented with just one Equestrian symbol.

"That was surprisingly easy," I said as I looked down on my sheet of paper with the English letters and numbers next to their Equestrian equivalents. It still wasn't completely perfect, but at least it was legible.

The book I had been translating had ironically been an Equestrian grammar book.

"I looked over at the statue and stuck out my tongue for a quick second.

"So I really am in Equestria," I thought as relief and curiosity flood through me at the same time.

"What's all this?" said Twilight who had just entered the room.

"This," I said with a dramatic flourish, "Is Equestrian translated into English.

"Oh wow, let me see!" Twilight exclaimed as she rushed over to my side.

There were about two sheets worth of failed attempts, my clean sheet that had everything neatly arranged, and a translated paragraph from the grammar book.

"This is amazing Michael, have-"

From somewhere in the library, a clock chimed for Six o'clock.

"Oh! Rarity's expecting us, let's go," Twilight said as she stepped into my lap and onto my crotch.

Needless to say, I grunted in pain. Twilight quickly jumped off of me in surprise.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were still hurt," said twilight apologetically.

"No, that's just a naturally sensitive area for people," I said as I hunched over and waited for the pain to subside.

"Why did you try to climb into my lap, I thought we were teleporting?" I asked through strained teeth.

"Sorry, I'm not good at teleporting anyone besides myself, so the closer I am, the easier it is for me to pull off" Twilight replied.

I sat there hunched over for a while before I allowed her back on my lap, carefully.

"You're going to have to get closer, Michael," Twilight said.

"I know there are thousands of people who would kill for this opportunity," I thought mirthfully as I wrapped my arms around Twilight in what was effectively a cuddle.

The next instant passed by in a series of very interesting sights and sounds. First, the initial flash that you see in the show surrounded us. Next, a mental image appeared in my mind of the inside of the Carousel Boutique, the following sensation can only be described as being sucked through a tiny straw in space at the end of Twilight's horn followed by a popping sound. The next thing I knew, I was in the Boutique.

I got up slowly, patting myself all over to make sure that I didn't loose anything important like my shirt or my shoes or my ears.

"Rarity, we're here," Twilight called as she took several steps forward.

"Coming, darling," Rarity called from upstairs.

Feeling confident in the fact that all of my bits and pieces were in the right place, I began to examine the Boutique. All of the tools of the trade looked to have been professional grade equipment, but sized down for a child. Take for example a sewing machine. You know when you look at a sewing machine, you can tell the difference between professional grade equipment and the cheap one you get for a kid. Well it was like that except kid sized.

Captain Obvious? Why yes I am.

"Why hello there Twilight how are you this evening?" Rarity asked from the top of the stairs.

"Just fine Rarity," Twilight replied, "where is Sweetie Belle?"

"She's at a sleepover with the other crusaders at Applejack's farm," Rarity replied, "Will you be staying for the fitting?"

"Sorry Rarity, I've got something I need to take care of,"

"Well if that's the case, don't let me keep you from it," said Rarity as she walked down the stairs.

"Thanks Rarity, I'll leave Michael in your capable hooves," said Twilight as she vanished in a flash of light.

"Let's begin, shall we Michael," said Rarity turning to me, "before we begin, I'm going to have to ask that you remove your clothes."

My mind came to a screeching halt.

"Come again?"

"Well of course MIchael, I won't be able to get accurate measurements through your clothes," said Rarity as I felt my jacket move away from me.

I know there are thousands of people who would kill to have this opportunity, but I was not one of them.

"Rarity could you-"

I was about to say wait a minute, but my shirt got caught in my mouth as it was lifted over my head.

"What was that dear, I didn't quite catch that," Rarity said as she turned her attention to my pants, "oh what is this interesting contraption?"

It felt like someone had tied a string to my zipper and had begun pulling on it in several different directions.

"Bad touch, BAD TOUCH!" I thought while Rarity's face and magic came closer and closer to finding my family jewels.

"Seriously Michael, what is this- Oh here we are," she said with a note of victory as my zipper came undone.

Panicking, I did the only thing that came to mind.

I flicked her horn.

The effect was instantaneous. The light surrounding her horn, I don't know, shorted out I guess and the invisible string around my zipper disappeared. On a side note, the sound it made resembled that of a spring door stop for a second. You know the ones that go bo-oi-oi-oi-oi-ng. It wasn't that pronounced, but it definitely made that sound.

"Ouch! MIchael, what was that for?" Rarity exclaimed.

"Well Rarity, I don't know what happens here on Equestria, but where I'm from, you at least ask someone to dinner and a movie before you begin undressing them," I exclaimed, my face becoming hot as I zipped up my pants and picked up my shirt off the floor.

"Why I-," Rarity stammered as the realization dawned on her while she turned a shade of red to match my own.

"Just take the measurements over the clothes," I said irritably.

The rest of the evening went by without another major complication, however I had to explain what casual wear was and that there was no way in Tartarus that I was going to wear suits six days out of the week. We eventually came to the compromise of seven casual outfits without gems (that was a hard won battle) and in exchange I was to wear whatever over the top suit she was going to design for a full day. After much fussing, complaining, arguing, and all around butting heads, we decided to end with tea and cookies when suddenly there was a space splitting paff in the main room of The Carousel Boutique.

"Sorry for the intrusion, Rarity," Twilight said as she entered the kitchen.

"Not at all Twilight," replied Rarity, "after all we must do what we can to keep Michael a secret."

Before I could question exactly why it was that I had to be kept a secret, the tea had snaked it's way through my digestive system and decided that it had just about enough of that.

"Rarity, do you happen to have a restroom around here anywhere?" I asked.

"The facilities are just around the corner and on the right," she replied.

I thanked her and hurriedly walked to the direction she had indicated.

***

"So Rarity, how did the measuring go?"

"Just fine except for a few -ahem- cultural misunderstandings," Rarity said, looking away.

"What do you mean?" Twilight asked.

"Well when we first met, I had assumed that he had appeared in Equestria with a suit in order to make a good impression. Seeing how he was found in Froggy Bottom Bog, I just assumed that he was making an effort with what he had. That's why I offered to make him a suit, but as it turns out, humans wear clothes everyday and that removing clothes, especially the piece over his legs, is incredibly amoral behavior."

"Fascinating," exclaimed Twilight, "how did you figure that one out?"

Rarity looked mildly embarrassed and began to rotate her hoof in the air.

"Well I was helping him out of his clothes when he flicked my horn and-"

"Wait, what did you say, Rarity?" Twilight interrupted.

"I was helping him out of his clothes and he flicked my horn." said Rarity with a confused look.

"How did Michael know to do that?"

"Now that you mention it, he's only been in Equestria for a little over a day. It would be unlikely that he would know what to do in order to stop a spell."

Footsteps announced the return of Michael to a room of two ponies with contemplative looks on their faces.

"Um, shouldn't we be headed home, it's starting to get dark outside," said michael with an awkward grin.

***

"Who are you drawing Michael?" asked Lilly, leaning over my shoulder.

"Nothing," I replied as I crumpled up the paper and stuffed it into my jacket.

Paper can be heavy sometimes.

"I asked who, not what," she said with a mischievous smile.

"Well whatever I was drawing, you're not seeing it. Wait, I was drawing? That's funny I don't see anything here," I said giving the ground in front of me a flourish.

"Alright Michael, I'll leave it alone," Lilly said as she laid down.next to me.

Suddenly her bare foot shot into my jacket from behind and snached the page I had hastily hid away.

It's not even the paper that makes it heavy, it's the ink.

I struggled with Lilly to no avail and the drawing came unfurled from it's ball.

A brief silence punctuated the scuffle as the image on the page sank in.

"Jesus Michael, what is this?"

A man with no irus in his eyes stood in front of a tree bearing odd shaped fruit that were suspended by ropes.

"I don't know ok. It was just something that was in my head that had to come out."