A Secret Never Toldby NightmaresKissChaptersChapter I - Words Never SpokenChapter II - A Life In A NightmareChapter III - A Funeral For A FriendChapter IV - A Final FarewellChapter I - Words Never SpokenA Secret Never Told By NightmaresKiss Chapter I - Words Never Spoken It was a beautiful day in Ponyville. The sun was shining, the birds was singing and ponies were outside enjoying the nice weather. Fillies and colts were playing in the park and the streets were full of ponies chatting and shopping. Amidst the crowd, a single pink pony could be see jumping around. Smiling like nopony else and singing a joyful song. Under a high, green tree in the park a purple pony lay in the shadow, reading what seemed like a very old book. Not so far away from that tree a yellow pony could be seen, feeding all the small critters that stood beside her. Flying around with a bag full of letters was a gray mail-mare on her way to the next house in the neighborhood. A smile erupted on her face just as she brought out a muffin from her bag. Beside a restaurant a white pony with a marvelous purple and blue hat were sitting near a table drinking tea. On the opposite side of the table sat a white cat with a tiny purple bow on the top of her head. A little outside of town, the silhouettes of an orange and a cyan pony could be spotted. They were on their way to the top of a hill, the cyan pony a little ahead of the other. “Where are yah taking me, Rainbow?” asked Applejack. “Just wait and see” answered Rainbow Dash. She was walking with good pace and a little smile on her face. Her left wing was wrapped in bandages, because just a few days earlier she had an accident while training on her new routine. Her wing was badly damaged and the doctor said she couldn't fly for a couple of weeks. Rainbow Dash hated this just as much as Pinkie Pie hated broccoli, but when she was with Applejack, it didn't seem so bad. After some more walking they were standing on top of the hill, which ended in a cliff. When Applejack saw out towards the scenery, her eyes widened and her mouth was gaping. The view from that hilltop was extraordinary, the green fields covered in flowers of all colors seemed endless. But far of in the distance the mountains started, and stood straight up against the bluest sky Equestria had ever seen. Far off on the mountainside Canterlot stood, as magnificent as always. The view was absolutely divine as Rarity would have described it, and Applejack had never seen anything more beautiful. “What do you think?” Asked Rainbow. “I...I... It's beautiful” Stammered Applejack. She was almost out of words. “Just wait 'til you see the sunset from here, it's awesome” Rainbow said, as she turned her gaze to Applejack who still looked amazed. On the top of the hill the two ponies spent the rest of the day together. Eating, drinking and chatting about all sorts of things. The hours flew by, and the sun had become very low on the now orange and red sky. Applejack looked at the view again with the same amazement as before, but Rainbow kept looking at Applejack without her noticing. The orange sun dove slowly behind the mountains and as soon as it was gone a sudden darkness fell over the hill and everything went quiet. Applejack stood up and walked to the edge of the cliff. With her eyes still on the horizon she said with a soft smile “that was one of the most amazing things ah have ever seen, thanks for showin' it to me Rainbow”. Rainbow stood up too, walked slowly to where Applejack stood. “Oh, it was nothing. I just wanted to show this to a special friend.” Rainbow stared deeply into Applejack's beautiful green eyes, and she felt a warmth rise up in her body. The moment had come, the moment she had waited for. Everything had led up to this very moment. She gathered all her courage and she spoke in a low shy voice, much like Fluttershy's voice. “Um, Applejack. There is something that I wanted to tell you” “What is it, sugarcube?” Just as she said “sugarcube” Rainbow's heart started beating twice as fast. She was really nervous, but she had to do it. “I...I...” Rainbow said in a low voice, and her head bent down. But then, a millisecond before she could utter the words she was about to say, the cliff they stood on started collapsing. With a loud "crack" the ground beneath their feet gave in and Applejack fell off the cliff, but just as she fell off she managed to grab a rock with her hooves. Rainbow Dash, just realizing what had happened, jumped forward and grabbed Applejack's hooves and started pulling her up. Applejack had been pulled halfway up as the ground collapsed some more. Rocks rolled down the cliff side, and a constant rumbling sound was about them. The air around the cliff was covered with dust which made it difficult to see anything. Rainbow was thrown down too, but managed to hold on to the same rock as Applejack had held on to. Rainbow was hanging with one hoof on the rock and one hoof holding Applejack. The pain in her shoulders was almost unbearable, but she had to hold on. She tried to spread her wings, but she could only move the right one. The left was still badly hurt from the accident. Rainbow couldn't think straight. A sudden feeling of guilt consumed her, it was worse that anything she had ever felt. If she hadn't tried that trick a couple of days ago, she could have just flown safely to the ground with Applejack in her hooves. The pain grew stronger, and soon she couldn't take it anymore. She tried to lift herself up, but it was useless. Rainbow looked down at Applejack with tears in her eyes. Applejack had teary eyes too, and she looked up at Rainbow and said “Let go. Let me fall, and save yourself”. Rainbow was shocked at what she heard, her head couldn't comprehend the words Applejack spoke. Shortly after she responded with a yell. “No way!” The words she had heard teared her heart apart. “It's the only way. Let go Rainbow.” Applejack replied with a piercing look into Rainbow's eyes. She could see it in her eyes that Applejack was scared, but she tried to hide it away. “No! I will never let go! Never!” Rainbow cried, tears running down from her eyes. “This is all my fault. ALL MY FAULT!” She screamed in her head. “I'm sorry” Rainbow whispered with a shadow on her face. She couldn't hold on any longer, and after a few painful seconds she lost her grip, and they started to fall. They fell down alongside the cliff, wind hurrying through their manes. Rainbow felt useless without her wings. The one thing that made her special, and the one thing that could have saved their lives that night wasn't there anymore. A million thoughts raced through Rainbow's mind, but they suddenly stopped. She stopped thinking. She glanced at Applejack, who was looking straight at her. The way down seemed endless. In the air, Rainbow and Applejack drew closer together and slowly they embraced each other. Rainbow wished this moment would last forever. Slowly their lips touched, she felt like she had all the time in the world. But suddenly everything went black. Chapter II - A Life In A NightmareA Secret Never Told By NightamresKiss Chapter II – A Life In A Nightmare Rainbow Dash woke up with a start. Her face was covered in sweat and tears. Her sight was blurry, and she could barely see. She sat up in her bed and rubbed her bloodshot eyes with her hoofs. Now her vision was coming back, and she could see her room. Her little bedroom in her cloud house. The walls were decorated by posters of the Wonderbolts, ribbons and medals from several competitions, including her prize from the best young flier competition and pictures of her and her best friends. She looked to her left. Her tiny night table was covered in tissues. Several empty bottles lay on the floor, and almost every furniture in her room was out of place. The night before Rainbow had had a fit of rage, and she had taken it out on her bedroom. The only thing unharmed was her mirror that was standing in the right corner of the room. It was an oval mirror with an oak frame. She looked around the room, trying to remember what had happened last night. She thought backwards, but she really didn't want to know what had happened. She slowly got out of bed and walked to the wall with the pictures. Her feet felt heavy, and she had a hard time walking. The wall was almost covered in photos. Some were framed, some were not. She looked at them all, but her glance stopped on one particular picture. It was from the day of the Running of the Leaves. Rainbow and Applejack stood together after they had ran through the forest. They were laughing together, and they looked happier than ever. Rainbow couldn't look away from the picture, but every second she looked at it made the felling inside her hurt even more. Just the sight of Applejack's face made Rainbow's stomach twist. She felt sick, but she wouldn't look away. It was now three days since the accident on the hilltop. Three days of living in a nightmare. Three nights of Rainbow having the same dream. The dream were they fell together, in each others arms. Rainbow looked away from the picture, she turned around and closed her eyes. How she wished she could have fallen with her. Instead of standing there, watching her fall. Rainbow had never picked up the courage to go over to her, and tell Applejack how she felt. So when the cliff cracked and Applejack fell down, Rainbow was a safe distance away. The moment it happened seemed like all hell had broken loose in Equestria. It was the worst thing that Rainbow could imagine. The screams Applejack cried. She could not get the screams out of her head. The screams of terror, and the cries for help. Rainbow had been in shock, she couldn't move. She just stood there, watching as Applejack fell to her death. She didn't do anything but watch. And she loathed herself for it. The screams seemed so distant, but still so close. The screams echoed in her head. Not just Applejack's voice, but she heard her own voice too. Her own voice shouting inside her own head. “WHY DIDN'T YOU TRY TO SAVE HER!” Shouted the voice in her head. “I don't know” Answered Rainbow in a feeble voice. She walked toward her mirror, looking at herself with disgust. It was like she saw a different pony, and she didn't even want to look at it. She was a mess. Her mane was uncombed and pointing in every direction and her tail had only seen better days. Her eyes were blood red and sadness was in her expression. She wiped a tear from her cheek with her hoof, as she stared deeply into the mirror. She hated the being in that mirror with a passion. The pony in the mirror stared back at her. “You could have tried” said the pony in the mirror. “Why didn't you try?” “I don't know” Answered Rainbow in the same feeble voice, yet in an angrier tone. “You could have tried, and died with her” said the pony. “You just stood there and let her fall”. She stared into Rainbow's eyes with a piercing glance without uttering a single word. After a few seconds, the pony in the mirror shouted with rage in her voice “WHY DIDN'T YOU DIE WITH HER?!” “I DON'T KNOW!” Shouted Rainbow at the pony in the mirror. She grabbed the lamp on her night table and threw it as hard as she could at the mirror. “CRUSH!” The mirror shattered in hundreds of small pieces. Every piece fell to the floor. A small glint on the sun through her window shined in every piece. Nothing was left but the frame of the mirror. Rainbow fell to the floor sobbing. “Why did this have to happen?” “Why did I get to live?” “Why do I have to live through this nightmare?” Rainbow laid on the floor for what felt like hours and the tears seemed never ending. She had no control over herself as she wept. Her voice became hoarse and her cries softened a bit. After some time she became quiet. She laid on the floor with her eyes closed. She started seeing pictures in her head, pictures of Applejack. Then memories started to pass by in front of her eyes. Happy memories of her and Applejack. A smile erupted on her face, but soon it disappeared. The moment when Applejack fell started playing in her mind. She was forced to watch it. The same moment happened over and over again in her head. “Make it stop! Make it stop!” Rainbow sobbed loudly. She was still lying there, haunted by her thoughts. “She will never know the truth” Rainbow said in a low whisper, silent tears running down her cheeks. She tried to stop thinking. Tried to calm her mind. But her thoughts kept coming back to her, until she fell into an uneasy sleep. Chapter III - A Funeral For A FriendA Secret Never Told By NightmaresKiss Chapter III – A Funeral For A Friend Rainbow was roused by the sound of Twilight's voice. She slowly opened her eyes and saw the purple mare standing in front of her. Twilight was wearing a concerned expression, and was looking at Rainbow with a saddened look. “Are you OK, Rainbow?” Twilight asked. “Of course” Replied Rainbow. “Why wouldn't I be?” She was trying to hide her true emotions, but didn't do a good job. Twilight saw right through her. “I used the same spell as the one I used on the Best Young Flier Competition, so I could come see you” Twilight said. “I figured” Rainbow replied. She seemed a bit annoyed. Twilight looked at all the mess in the room, and became even more concerned. All the empty bottles. The night table buried in tissues. All the furniture that was damaged and out of place, and not to mention the broken mirror with all it's pieces strewn across the floor. Rainbow was still laying on the floor, with her head bend down so she didn't have to look Twilight in the eyes. Twilight spoke in a soft voice; “Oh, Rainbow. You mustn't do this to yourself. It wasn't your fault.” “Yes it was” Answered the cyan pony, with her eyes still staring down. “There was nothing you could do...” Twilight started, but Rainbow got up and cut her off. “Yes there was! You weren't there. You don't know what happened!” Rage was blazing in her eyes, much like it had done the previous night. “I just stood there and let her fall.” Rainbow turned around and stared into the wall. “I want you to leave” she said. “But Rainbow...” Answered Twilight. “Please, just leave” Rainbow interrupted, still staring into the wall. Twilight stared to walk her way out of the room, but stopped in the doorway. “The funeral is tomorrow morning at 10. You have to come.” She said. Rainbow continued standing still, silently staring at the wall. Twilight closed the door and reluctantly left Rainbows residence. As she heard the door close, Rainbow closed her eyes. She didn't want to go to the funeral. All the unfriendly eyes looking at her, judging her. Everybody would think it was her fault, everybody would hate her. She didn't want to go, but deep down she knew she had to. She had to pay her respects, and say her final goodbye. The day was slowly going towards Evening. The sun was waning and the sky outside was turning orange. Rainbow was looking out the window. The sky reminded her of that horrible night. It seemed so long ago. Like some distant memory, or a dream. But she knew it wasn't. She knew it was all the cold reality. She spent the rest of the night pacing back and forth in her bedroom, dreading the day that would come. The funeral of the pony she loved, and everybody that attended knew she was the reason they all were gathered there. Time went by. Stars appeared in the sky and the moon shined brightly. Rainbow wasn't tired at all, in fact she wouldn't be able to sleep if her life depended on it. Fear kept her awake, and suddenly her bedroom started to light up. The sun was rising, shining its beautiful light through her windows. She had stayed up all night, without realizing. She wished she could stop time. Rainbow laid down in her bed, but she didn't close her eyes. She just laid there, staring intently at the pictures on the wall. The only sound to be heard was her own breath. The clock had barely struck nine when there was a silent knock on the door. Rainbow was unsure that she had heard something, and thought that it may had been her imagination. Then after a few seconds there was another soft knock. Rainbow had an idea about who it was, and she got out of bed and started walking towards the door. She opened it and wasn't surprised. The knock came from a yellow pony with a pink mane. Rainbow had guessed that it was Fluttershy that was at the door, but she seemed different from the pony she knew. She was wearing a black dress and a veil that hid her saddened face. Her eyes was at the brink of tears. Soft sobs could be heard from behind the veil. “Are you ready?” The yellow pony uttered. Rainbow noticed that Fluttershy wasn't even looking at her, she kept her gaze towards the ground. As much as Rainbow didn't want to go, she couldn't say no to Fluttershy. Seeing her in this state tore her heart apart, and she finally realized that she wasn't the only one burnt by the fire she had lit. “How could I be so selfish?” She thought to herself and she answered Fluttershy. “Give me a minute.” She said and walked back into her house. As she walked towards her room she could her a faint “OK” coming from Fluttershy. It was as low as a whisper, but Rainbow heard it clearly as daylight. Rainbow started tearing up, but controlled herself. She hated seeing Fluttershy like this. As Rainbow got inside her room, she opened her wardrobe and quickly rummaged through her clothes. She didn't own any large amount of attires, but she knew she hat one particular black dress. She pulled the dress out of the wardrobe and put it on. As she began to walk back out, she caught a glimpse of herself in one of the larger mirror shards laying on the ground. She didn't look any better now then she had done in the last encounter of her reflection, and she couldn't even look herself in her own eyes. She continued walking out of the room. Fluttershy had turned around, and was looking out towards the horizon. It was a warm summer morning. The sun shone brightly from behind a few morning clouds. It seemed unreal that a beautiful day like this was filled with so much sorrow. Fluttershy heard Rainbow coming, and slowly started walking to the edge of the cloud. Rainbow came up to her side. She looked at Fluttershy's face, but the yellow pony continued to stare forwards. Fluttershy spread her wings and flew off. Rainbow stared at her for a few seconds before she flew after her. Chapter IV - A Final FarewellA Secret Never Told By NightmaresKiss Chapter IV – A Final Farewell The sun rose steadily, and became brighter every minute that passed by. The few clouds that tainted the blue sky were now gone. Though far off in the horizon, new clouds could be spotted. The wind was changing, and the clouds soared towards Ponyville in great haste. Ponies were busy out in the streets, making the best of the good weather while it lasted. Surely it would not last long. The air became heavier, and the clouds in the distance became darker. Rainbow flew right behind Fluttershy, about two meters over the ground. Rainbow had disregarded the doctors orders of not flying until her wing was fully healed. The wing ached all the way, but she paid no heed to it. She had suffered enough pain these last days, and she was getting used to it. They flew towards Carousel Boutique. Rainbow assumed the others where there. She dreaded seeing their faces, looking upon her best friends and see nothing but sorrow. But she had to get through this. She knew deep inside her heart that this was the only right thing to do. Fluttershy dropped to the ground before the door to the boutique. Rainbow did the same, and was relieved of the pain in her wing. Fluttershy opened the door and they stepped over the threshold together. There they all stood, all clad in black. Rarity, like Fluttershy, had veiled her face. Twilight stood by herself, looking out of the window. Rainbow gazed at everyone. No one seemed to notice that they had arrived. Rainbow's glance turned to Pinkie Pie, who stood near Rarity. Rainbow had never seen her like this. She didn't resemble the happy, hyper, pink pony that she remembered at all. It seemed like a dark shadow was about her. Silent tears streamed down her face, and didn't bother to wipe any of them away. Fluttershy walked to Pinkie and embraced her in a mournful hug. First then did the others notice their appearance. Twilight's and Rarity's gaze went from Fluttershy and Pinkie to Rainbow, who was still standing near the doorway. Nobody had uttered a single word yet, and it seemed like no one wanted to break the silence. Twilight stepped forward and said to Rainbow with a fake smile: “I'm glad you came.” “What else could I do?” Answered Rainbow. “The ceremony is about to start. We better get going” said Twilight before she started making her way towards the exit. Rainbow stepped out of the way and let her pass. Rarity walked out next, followed by Pinkie and Fluttershy. Rainbow stood still for a moment, before she too walked out the doors of the boutique. The weather had changed dramatically on the few minutes they where inside. The once clear blue sky was now grey with clouds. It seemed darker than before, and it looked like it was getting darker all the time. Greyer and greyer clouds came into view, and far off the sky seemed all black. The five ponies strode off towards the graveyard in a single file. Nobody talked to each other, nobody even looked at each other. This had to be the worst day in all of their lives. When they came near the graveyard, they saw that a lot of ponies already had gathered around a white coffin. The coffin stood on a table, and was covered in flowers of every colour. On top of the coffin, surrounded by red roses was a single red apple. The five friends went past all the ponies, and made their way to the coffin. Rainbow saw many familiar faces, and also unfamiliar. It seemed like everybody in the Apple family was there. When they had passed everyone, they had a clear view of the coffin. Next to it stood three ponies. Granny Smith, who seemed older than ever. It seemed like she had given up. Next to her stood Big Mac, and in his hooves he held his little sister. Applebloom was crying uncontrollably, her eyes were shut and she held on to Big Mac with all her strength. Applebloom opened her eyes and saw the five ponies standing in front of her. She turned to Rainbow and her eyes seemed to blaze. She ripped herself from Big Mac's grip and ran towards Rainbow. “YOU!” she shouted. Her voice cracked, but she didn't seem to care. She was filled with rage. “How dare you show yourself here? This is all your fault!” Rainbow was speechless. Her heart started pounding and she had a lump in her throat. She couldn't utter a word. Hearing the raging screams of Applebloom made tears come to her eyes. Applebloom continued screaming, tears still streaming down her face. “My sister died because of you! I HATE YOU!” Applebloom's eyes was raging with fire, and her voice was filled with hatred. Big Mac grabbed Applebloom, and tried to contain her, but Applebloom resisted. She twisted and squirmed, but she couldn't break free from his grip. Though he couldn't silence her. She continued screaming in hatred towards Rainbow. “You don't deserve to live! You should just KILL YOURSELF!” Applebloom screamed before she went limp and started crying uncontrollably once again.” During Applebloom's last sentence Rainbow started running away. She heard the last two words in the crying wind. “Kill yourself”. Those two words rung inside her head over and over again. Like a never ending echo. She kept running. To where, she didn't know, and it didn't matter. She just wanted to get away. The sky had only grown darker, and was now jet black. It seemed like night had already arrived. As she ran, she could hear a faint thunder, and felt a few raindrops on her face. The rain only became more violent, and before long it was pouring down. Rainbow continued to run, to get away. Suddenly she stopped and found herself on the foot on the hill where it all started. Rainbow looked up towards the top, and started walking. She couldn't hear anything but the sound of the rain beating down on the ground, and the wind that cried in the dark. She quickly reached the top, and once again she stood there. Where she stood four days ago, though it felt like an eternity. She looked out over the same fields, but now they seemed grey. She could barely see anything through the dark veil of rain. She was soaking wet, and she couldn't tell the difference between raindrops and tears. As she stood there, gazing into nothingness, the world started to become distant. She was alone with her thoughts. “Applebloom is right” a voice in her head said. She closed her eyes, thinking of Applejack she started walking forwards. “I've made up my mind” she said to comfort herself. She was terrified, but kept walking. Suddenly there was no more ground to tread on. She fell down. She kept her eyes closed, as she fell through mist and rain. “I'm coming, Applejack.”
Chapter I - Words Never SpokenA Secret Never Told By NightmaresKiss Chapter I - Words Never Spoken It was a beautiful day in Ponyville. The sun was shining, the birds was singing and ponies were outside enjoying the nice weather. Fillies and colts were playing in the park and the streets were full of ponies chatting and shopping. Amidst the crowd, a single pink pony could be see jumping around. Smiling like nopony else and singing a joyful song. Under a high, green tree in the park a purple pony lay in the shadow, reading what seemed like a very old book. Not so far away from that tree a yellow pony could be seen, feeding all the small critters that stood beside her. Flying around with a bag full of letters was a gray mail-mare on her way to the next house in the neighborhood. A smile erupted on her face just as she brought out a muffin from her bag. Beside a restaurant a white pony with a marvelous purple and blue hat were sitting near a table drinking tea. On the opposite side of the table sat a white cat with a tiny purple bow on the top of her head. A little outside of town, the silhouettes of an orange and a cyan pony could be spotted. They were on their way to the top of a hill, the cyan pony a little ahead of the other. “Where are yah taking me, Rainbow?” asked Applejack. “Just wait and see” answered Rainbow Dash. She was walking with good pace and a little smile on her face. Her left wing was wrapped in bandages, because just a few days earlier she had an accident while training on her new routine. Her wing was badly damaged and the doctor said she couldn't fly for a couple of weeks. Rainbow Dash hated this just as much as Pinkie Pie hated broccoli, but when she was with Applejack, it didn't seem so bad. After some more walking they were standing on top of the hill, which ended in a cliff. When Applejack saw out towards the scenery, her eyes widened and her mouth was gaping. The view from that hilltop was extraordinary, the green fields covered in flowers of all colors seemed endless. But far of in the distance the mountains started, and stood straight up against the bluest sky Equestria had ever seen. Far off on the mountainside Canterlot stood, as magnificent as always. The view was absolutely divine as Rarity would have described it, and Applejack had never seen anything more beautiful. “What do you think?” Asked Rainbow. “I...I... It's beautiful” Stammered Applejack. She was almost out of words. “Just wait 'til you see the sunset from here, it's awesome” Rainbow said, as she turned her gaze to Applejack who still looked amazed. On the top of the hill the two ponies spent the rest of the day together. Eating, drinking and chatting about all sorts of things. The hours flew by, and the sun had become very low on the now orange and red sky. Applejack looked at the view again with the same amazement as before, but Rainbow kept looking at Applejack without her noticing. The orange sun dove slowly behind the mountains and as soon as it was gone a sudden darkness fell over the hill and everything went quiet. Applejack stood up and walked to the edge of the cliff. With her eyes still on the horizon she said with a soft smile “that was one of the most amazing things ah have ever seen, thanks for showin' it to me Rainbow”. Rainbow stood up too, walked slowly to where Applejack stood. “Oh, it was nothing. I just wanted to show this to a special friend.” Rainbow stared deeply into Applejack's beautiful green eyes, and she felt a warmth rise up in her body. The moment had come, the moment she had waited for. Everything had led up to this very moment. She gathered all her courage and she spoke in a low shy voice, much like Fluttershy's voice. “Um, Applejack. There is something that I wanted to tell you” “What is it, sugarcube?” Just as she said “sugarcube” Rainbow's heart started beating twice as fast. She was really nervous, but she had to do it. “I...I...” Rainbow said in a low voice, and her head bent down. But then, a millisecond before she could utter the words she was about to say, the cliff they stood on started collapsing. With a loud "crack" the ground beneath their feet gave in and Applejack fell off the cliff, but just as she fell off she managed to grab a rock with her hooves. Rainbow Dash, just realizing what had happened, jumped forward and grabbed Applejack's hooves and started pulling her up. Applejack had been pulled halfway up as the ground collapsed some more. Rocks rolled down the cliff side, and a constant rumbling sound was about them. The air around the cliff was covered with dust which made it difficult to see anything. Rainbow was thrown down too, but managed to hold on to the same rock as Applejack had held on to. Rainbow was hanging with one hoof on the rock and one hoof holding Applejack. The pain in her shoulders was almost unbearable, but she had to hold on. She tried to spread her wings, but she could only move the right one. The left was still badly hurt from the accident. Rainbow couldn't think straight. A sudden feeling of guilt consumed her, it was worse that anything she had ever felt. If she hadn't tried that trick a couple of days ago, she could have just flown safely to the ground with Applejack in her hooves. The pain grew stronger, and soon she couldn't take it anymore. She tried to lift herself up, but it was useless. Rainbow looked down at Applejack with tears in her eyes. Applejack had teary eyes too, and she looked up at Rainbow and said “Let go. Let me fall, and save yourself”. Rainbow was shocked at what she heard, her head couldn't comprehend the words Applejack spoke. Shortly after she responded with a yell. “No way!” The words she had heard teared her heart apart. “It's the only way. Let go Rainbow.” Applejack replied with a piercing look into Rainbow's eyes. She could see it in her eyes that Applejack was scared, but she tried to hide it away. “No! I will never let go! Never!” Rainbow cried, tears running down from her eyes. “This is all my fault. ALL MY FAULT!” She screamed in her head. “I'm sorry” Rainbow whispered with a shadow on her face. She couldn't hold on any longer, and after a few painful seconds she lost her grip, and they started to fall. They fell down alongside the cliff, wind hurrying through their manes. Rainbow felt useless without her wings. The one thing that made her special, and the one thing that could have saved their lives that night wasn't there anymore. A million thoughts raced through Rainbow's mind, but they suddenly stopped. She stopped thinking. She glanced at Applejack, who was looking straight at her. The way down seemed endless. In the air, Rainbow and Applejack drew closer together and slowly they embraced each other. Rainbow wished this moment would last forever. Slowly their lips touched, she felt like she had all the time in the world. But suddenly everything went black.
Chapter II - A Life In A NightmareA Secret Never Told By NightamresKiss Chapter II – A Life In A Nightmare Rainbow Dash woke up with a start. Her face was covered in sweat and tears. Her sight was blurry, and she could barely see. She sat up in her bed and rubbed her bloodshot eyes with her hoofs. Now her vision was coming back, and she could see her room. Her little bedroom in her cloud house. The walls were decorated by posters of the Wonderbolts, ribbons and medals from several competitions, including her prize from the best young flier competition and pictures of her and her best friends. She looked to her left. Her tiny night table was covered in tissues. Several empty bottles lay on the floor, and almost every furniture in her room was out of place. The night before Rainbow had had a fit of rage, and she had taken it out on her bedroom. The only thing unharmed was her mirror that was standing in the right corner of the room. It was an oval mirror with an oak frame. She looked around the room, trying to remember what had happened last night. She thought backwards, but she really didn't want to know what had happened. She slowly got out of bed and walked to the wall with the pictures. Her feet felt heavy, and she had a hard time walking. The wall was almost covered in photos. Some were framed, some were not. She looked at them all, but her glance stopped on one particular picture. It was from the day of the Running of the Leaves. Rainbow and Applejack stood together after they had ran through the forest. They were laughing together, and they looked happier than ever. Rainbow couldn't look away from the picture, but every second she looked at it made the felling inside her hurt even more. Just the sight of Applejack's face made Rainbow's stomach twist. She felt sick, but she wouldn't look away. It was now three days since the accident on the hilltop. Three days of living in a nightmare. Three nights of Rainbow having the same dream. The dream were they fell together, in each others arms. Rainbow looked away from the picture, she turned around and closed her eyes. How she wished she could have fallen with her. Instead of standing there, watching her fall. Rainbow had never picked up the courage to go over to her, and tell Applejack how she felt. So when the cliff cracked and Applejack fell down, Rainbow was a safe distance away. The moment it happened seemed like all hell had broken loose in Equestria. It was the worst thing that Rainbow could imagine. The screams Applejack cried. She could not get the screams out of her head. The screams of terror, and the cries for help. Rainbow had been in shock, she couldn't move. She just stood there, watching as Applejack fell to her death. She didn't do anything but watch. And she loathed herself for it. The screams seemed so distant, but still so close. The screams echoed in her head. Not just Applejack's voice, but she heard her own voice too. Her own voice shouting inside her own head. “WHY DIDN'T YOU TRY TO SAVE HER!” Shouted the voice in her head. “I don't know” Answered Rainbow in a feeble voice. She walked toward her mirror, looking at herself with disgust. It was like she saw a different pony, and she didn't even want to look at it. She was a mess. Her mane was uncombed and pointing in every direction and her tail had only seen better days. Her eyes were blood red and sadness was in her expression. She wiped a tear from her cheek with her hoof, as she stared deeply into the mirror. She hated the being in that mirror with a passion. The pony in the mirror stared back at her. “You could have tried” said the pony in the mirror. “Why didn't you try?” “I don't know” Answered Rainbow in the same feeble voice, yet in an angrier tone. “You could have tried, and died with her” said the pony. “You just stood there and let her fall”. She stared into Rainbow's eyes with a piercing glance without uttering a single word. After a few seconds, the pony in the mirror shouted with rage in her voice “WHY DIDN'T YOU DIE WITH HER?!” “I DON'T KNOW!” Shouted Rainbow at the pony in the mirror. She grabbed the lamp on her night table and threw it as hard as she could at the mirror. “CRUSH!” The mirror shattered in hundreds of small pieces. Every piece fell to the floor. A small glint on the sun through her window shined in every piece. Nothing was left but the frame of the mirror. Rainbow fell to the floor sobbing. “Why did this have to happen?” “Why did I get to live?” “Why do I have to live through this nightmare?” Rainbow laid on the floor for what felt like hours and the tears seemed never ending. She had no control over herself as she wept. Her voice became hoarse and her cries softened a bit. After some time she became quiet. She laid on the floor with her eyes closed. She started seeing pictures in her head, pictures of Applejack. Then memories started to pass by in front of her eyes. Happy memories of her and Applejack. A smile erupted on her face, but soon it disappeared. The moment when Applejack fell started playing in her mind. She was forced to watch it. The same moment happened over and over again in her head. “Make it stop! Make it stop!” Rainbow sobbed loudly. She was still lying there, haunted by her thoughts. “She will never know the truth” Rainbow said in a low whisper, silent tears running down her cheeks. She tried to stop thinking. Tried to calm her mind. But her thoughts kept coming back to her, until she fell into an uneasy sleep.
Chapter III - A Funeral For A FriendA Secret Never Told By NightmaresKiss Chapter III – A Funeral For A Friend Rainbow was roused by the sound of Twilight's voice. She slowly opened her eyes and saw the purple mare standing in front of her. Twilight was wearing a concerned expression, and was looking at Rainbow with a saddened look. “Are you OK, Rainbow?” Twilight asked. “Of course” Replied Rainbow. “Why wouldn't I be?” She was trying to hide her true emotions, but didn't do a good job. Twilight saw right through her. “I used the same spell as the one I used on the Best Young Flier Competition, so I could come see you” Twilight said. “I figured” Rainbow replied. She seemed a bit annoyed. Twilight looked at all the mess in the room, and became even more concerned. All the empty bottles. The night table buried in tissues. All the furniture that was damaged and out of place, and not to mention the broken mirror with all it's pieces strewn across the floor. Rainbow was still laying on the floor, with her head bend down so she didn't have to look Twilight in the eyes. Twilight spoke in a soft voice; “Oh, Rainbow. You mustn't do this to yourself. It wasn't your fault.” “Yes it was” Answered the cyan pony, with her eyes still staring down. “There was nothing you could do...” Twilight started, but Rainbow got up and cut her off. “Yes there was! You weren't there. You don't know what happened!” Rage was blazing in her eyes, much like it had done the previous night. “I just stood there and let her fall.” Rainbow turned around and stared into the wall. “I want you to leave” she said. “But Rainbow...” Answered Twilight. “Please, just leave” Rainbow interrupted, still staring into the wall. Twilight stared to walk her way out of the room, but stopped in the doorway. “The funeral is tomorrow morning at 10. You have to come.” She said. Rainbow continued standing still, silently staring at the wall. Twilight closed the door and reluctantly left Rainbows residence. As she heard the door close, Rainbow closed her eyes. She didn't want to go to the funeral. All the unfriendly eyes looking at her, judging her. Everybody would think it was her fault, everybody would hate her. She didn't want to go, but deep down she knew she had to. She had to pay her respects, and say her final goodbye. The day was slowly going towards Evening. The sun was waning and the sky outside was turning orange. Rainbow was looking out the window. The sky reminded her of that horrible night. It seemed so long ago. Like some distant memory, or a dream. But she knew it wasn't. She knew it was all the cold reality. She spent the rest of the night pacing back and forth in her bedroom, dreading the day that would come. The funeral of the pony she loved, and everybody that attended knew she was the reason they all were gathered there. Time went by. Stars appeared in the sky and the moon shined brightly. Rainbow wasn't tired at all, in fact she wouldn't be able to sleep if her life depended on it. Fear kept her awake, and suddenly her bedroom started to light up. The sun was rising, shining its beautiful light through her windows. She had stayed up all night, without realizing. She wished she could stop time. Rainbow laid down in her bed, but she didn't close her eyes. She just laid there, staring intently at the pictures on the wall. The only sound to be heard was her own breath. The clock had barely struck nine when there was a silent knock on the door. Rainbow was unsure that she had heard something, and thought that it may had been her imagination. Then after a few seconds there was another soft knock. Rainbow had an idea about who it was, and she got out of bed and started walking towards the door. She opened it and wasn't surprised. The knock came from a yellow pony with a pink mane. Rainbow had guessed that it was Fluttershy that was at the door, but she seemed different from the pony she knew. She was wearing a black dress and a veil that hid her saddened face. Her eyes was at the brink of tears. Soft sobs could be heard from behind the veil. “Are you ready?” The yellow pony uttered. Rainbow noticed that Fluttershy wasn't even looking at her, she kept her gaze towards the ground. As much as Rainbow didn't want to go, she couldn't say no to Fluttershy. Seeing her in this state tore her heart apart, and she finally realized that she wasn't the only one burnt by the fire she had lit. “How could I be so selfish?” She thought to herself and she answered Fluttershy. “Give me a minute.” She said and walked back into her house. As she walked towards her room she could her a faint “OK” coming from Fluttershy. It was as low as a whisper, but Rainbow heard it clearly as daylight. Rainbow started tearing up, but controlled herself. She hated seeing Fluttershy like this. As Rainbow got inside her room, she opened her wardrobe and quickly rummaged through her clothes. She didn't own any large amount of attires, but she knew she hat one particular black dress. She pulled the dress out of the wardrobe and put it on. As she began to walk back out, she caught a glimpse of herself in one of the larger mirror shards laying on the ground. She didn't look any better now then she had done in the last encounter of her reflection, and she couldn't even look herself in her own eyes. She continued walking out of the room. Fluttershy had turned around, and was looking out towards the horizon. It was a warm summer morning. The sun shone brightly from behind a few morning clouds. It seemed unreal that a beautiful day like this was filled with so much sorrow. Fluttershy heard Rainbow coming, and slowly started walking to the edge of the cloud. Rainbow came up to her side. She looked at Fluttershy's face, but the yellow pony continued to stare forwards. Fluttershy spread her wings and flew off. Rainbow stared at her for a few seconds before she flew after her.
Chapter IV - A Final FarewellA Secret Never Told By NightmaresKiss Chapter IV – A Final Farewell The sun rose steadily, and became brighter every minute that passed by. The few clouds that tainted the blue sky were now gone. Though far off in the horizon, new clouds could be spotted. The wind was changing, and the clouds soared towards Ponyville in great haste. Ponies were busy out in the streets, making the best of the good weather while it lasted. Surely it would not last long. The air became heavier, and the clouds in the distance became darker. Rainbow flew right behind Fluttershy, about two meters over the ground. Rainbow had disregarded the doctors orders of not flying until her wing was fully healed. The wing ached all the way, but she paid no heed to it. She had suffered enough pain these last days, and she was getting used to it. They flew towards Carousel Boutique. Rainbow assumed the others where there. She dreaded seeing their faces, looking upon her best friends and see nothing but sorrow. But she had to get through this. She knew deep inside her heart that this was the only right thing to do. Fluttershy dropped to the ground before the door to the boutique. Rainbow did the same, and was relieved of the pain in her wing. Fluttershy opened the door and they stepped over the threshold together. There they all stood, all clad in black. Rarity, like Fluttershy, had veiled her face. Twilight stood by herself, looking out of the window. Rainbow gazed at everyone. No one seemed to notice that they had arrived. Rainbow's glance turned to Pinkie Pie, who stood near Rarity. Rainbow had never seen her like this. She didn't resemble the happy, hyper, pink pony that she remembered at all. It seemed like a dark shadow was about her. Silent tears streamed down her face, and didn't bother to wipe any of them away. Fluttershy walked to Pinkie and embraced her in a mournful hug. First then did the others notice their appearance. Twilight's and Rarity's gaze went from Fluttershy and Pinkie to Rainbow, who was still standing near the doorway. Nobody had uttered a single word yet, and it seemed like no one wanted to break the silence. Twilight stepped forward and said to Rainbow with a fake smile: “I'm glad you came.” “What else could I do?” Answered Rainbow. “The ceremony is about to start. We better get going” said Twilight before she started making her way towards the exit. Rainbow stepped out of the way and let her pass. Rarity walked out next, followed by Pinkie and Fluttershy. Rainbow stood still for a moment, before she too walked out the doors of the boutique. The weather had changed dramatically on the few minutes they where inside. The once clear blue sky was now grey with clouds. It seemed darker than before, and it looked like it was getting darker all the time. Greyer and greyer clouds came into view, and far off the sky seemed all black. The five ponies strode off towards the graveyard in a single file. Nobody talked to each other, nobody even looked at each other. This had to be the worst day in all of their lives. When they came near the graveyard, they saw that a lot of ponies already had gathered around a white coffin. The coffin stood on a table, and was covered in flowers of every colour. On top of the coffin, surrounded by red roses was a single red apple. The five friends went past all the ponies, and made their way to the coffin. Rainbow saw many familiar faces, and also unfamiliar. It seemed like everybody in the Apple family was there. When they had passed everyone, they had a clear view of the coffin. Next to it stood three ponies. Granny Smith, who seemed older than ever. It seemed like she had given up. Next to her stood Big Mac, and in his hooves he held his little sister. Applebloom was crying uncontrollably, her eyes were shut and she held on to Big Mac with all her strength. Applebloom opened her eyes and saw the five ponies standing in front of her. She turned to Rainbow and her eyes seemed to blaze. She ripped herself from Big Mac's grip and ran towards Rainbow. “YOU!” she shouted. Her voice cracked, but she didn't seem to care. She was filled with rage. “How dare you show yourself here? This is all your fault!” Rainbow was speechless. Her heart started pounding and she had a lump in her throat. She couldn't utter a word. Hearing the raging screams of Applebloom made tears come to her eyes. Applebloom continued screaming, tears still streaming down her face. “My sister died because of you! I HATE YOU!” Applebloom's eyes was raging with fire, and her voice was filled with hatred. Big Mac grabbed Applebloom, and tried to contain her, but Applebloom resisted. She twisted and squirmed, but she couldn't break free from his grip. Though he couldn't silence her. She continued screaming in hatred towards Rainbow. “You don't deserve to live! You should just KILL YOURSELF!” Applebloom screamed before she went limp and started crying uncontrollably once again.” During Applebloom's last sentence Rainbow started running away. She heard the last two words in the crying wind. “Kill yourself”. Those two words rung inside her head over and over again. Like a never ending echo. She kept running. To where, she didn't know, and it didn't matter. She just wanted to get away. The sky had only grown darker, and was now jet black. It seemed like night had already arrived. As she ran, she could hear a faint thunder, and felt a few raindrops on her face. The rain only became more violent, and before long it was pouring down. Rainbow continued to run, to get away. Suddenly she stopped and found herself on the foot on the hill where it all started. Rainbow looked up towards the top, and started walking. She couldn't hear anything but the sound of the rain beating down on the ground, and the wind that cried in the dark. She quickly reached the top, and once again she stood there. Where she stood four days ago, though it felt like an eternity. She looked out over the same fields, but now they seemed grey. She could barely see anything through the dark veil of rain. She was soaking wet, and she couldn't tell the difference between raindrops and tears. As she stood there, gazing into nothingness, the world started to become distant. She was alone with her thoughts. “Applebloom is right” a voice in her head said. She closed her eyes, thinking of Applejack she started walking forwards. “I've made up my mind” she said to comfort herself. She was terrified, but kept walking. Suddenly there was no more ground to tread on. She fell down. She kept her eyes closed, as she fell through mist and rain. “I'm coming, Applejack.”
