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Separate Ways

285 Hours

It had been almost an hour since Blue had woken up. After making the terrible mistake of having let Fluttershy rummage through his bag, she had discovered his B.S. map, and now he was standing in the living room with her, trying desperately to explain himself and get her calm before things got too far out of hoof.

"It's really not what it seems like, Fluttershy. I swear," Blue said defensively, holding up his hooves as though he were being held up. "There's more to this than just an empty map."

Fluttershy glared at him, tossing the unfolded map onto the floor between them with a slap. "Start explaining. Now."

"Now, don't have a conniption fit, please. Look, the map didn't have any towns, so I made one up to get us moving. Without a destination, we were just sitting ducks, and I didn't want you to be disappointed that there was still no plan, so I made one up. I'm sorry." He sat on his haunches and shrugged. Hopefully that had been enough to convince her.

"Why?" Fluttershy snapped, her patience wearing thin quickly. She wore a very unamused frown with eyes that seemed ready to bore holes through him. "Blue, you realize that by leading us blindly into the woods, you could've gotten us lost? Or worse... we could've been killed! What is wrong with you?"

In her eyes, Blue could see the heat building. This would get real ugly real fast if he didn't get the right words out. "Fluttershy -- we were losing hope. Both of us. And running out of time. I did what I had to to preserve our hope. I know it seems bad at first glance, but in hindsight, it was the right thing to do."

"Right thing to do?" Fluttershy repeated in disgust, curling a lip at him. "Blue -- if we hadn't found this cabin, where would we be? Hmm?" she pressed, throwing her hooves up dramatically. "Hmm?"

Blue hesitated, unsure how to reply. "I-"

"Dead. We'd be dead, Blue. By either that storm," she pointed a hoof stiffly out the window, "or by whatever the hell that... beast is stalking us! How dare you pretend that lying to me and leading us into the unknown was the 'right thing to do'." She turned away from him, seething. "And to think I let you close to me. You lied to me, endangered not only my life, but even your own, and now you pretend to have done it all with good intentions? Since when is lying to somepony good intentions?"

Blue was at a loss for words. Not just because Fluttershy had never used a curse word in front of him, but also because this was not too far off from how the horrible nightmare he'd had about this was, save for the creature barreling in and making a two-course meal out of them. "Fluttershy -- I did what I had to. I'm wasn't going to sit there and let us rot. I had to think of something to get us moving. How is it you can't see that...?"

Fluttershy spun, giving him a death stare. "You LIED Blue. Not just any lie, either -- a lie that could've landed us in some monster's stomach, or frozen under some snow bank! Admit it already! You had no idea where we were going! Your lie was dangerous, reckless, and selfish. And then I let you get close to me... Closer than I should've let you be. I knew better, but I let my guard down. This is why I don't date." She paused, staring down at the floorboards for a moment before looking back up at him. "So what else have you lied about? Hmm? Anything else I need to know?"

Blue gasped, taking a step back at the accusation. "How fucking dare you accuse me of being a habitual liar! I haven't lied about anything aside from the map. I did that because it needed to be done so we weren't sitting in that death trap train car like a pair of damn canned sardines waiting for you-know-who to come snack on our hides!"

"Well, maybe I can't trust you now! Maybe I don't know about you anymore! What you did could've gotten us killed. That's a scary thought to me, Blue. A very scary thought that you would willingly lead us into danger under the false premise that you were getting us out of it." She closed her eyes and sighed, turning away again, facing the fireplace and leaving Blue standing there in shock. "I don't know about this..."

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?" Blue said gruffly, lowering his voice and taking a step towards her. "What are you trying to say?"

Without turning, Fluttershy muttered stoically over her shoulder, "It means this probably won't work. I can't trust you. Not right now."

Blue fumed, shaking his head in disappointment. He'd had enough. "If you can't trust me now, then you'll never trust me. And I have no business being around somepony who is too dense to see my point of view!" He huffed and pirouetted, grabbing the nearest bag -- which was his -- and threw it over his shoulder.

Fluttershy turned to observe what he was doing, and when it dawned on her what he was planning, she moved quickly to the front door, blocking it with her body. "Blue -- where do you think you're going?"

Blue used a foreleg to gently brush her aside, though part of him wished he had the guts to just push her out of the way like he wanted to. "Leaving." He unlocked and swung open the door, an angry tear streaming down his face as he felt the bitter winds welcoming him.

"Blue! You're not leaving! This is not what I meant when I said we won't work!" She tugged on his tail as he stepped out onto the snow-layered deck. He turned and yanked his tail from her grasp, sending her sprawling onto the snow before him. She looked up at him, startled and speechless, her mouth agape.

Blue peered down at her, showing as little emotion as he could manage. His mane whipped around in the wind as he locked eyes with her. "It's what I mean," he said coldly. Then he turned away, trotting as fast as he could out into the wilderness through the knee-deep, powdery snow.

Fluttershy scrambled rapidly to her hooves and called after him, attempting a pursuit, but he outran her and his silhouette rapidly faded into the whiteness, disappearing entirely seconds later through the billowing snow.

"Blue! Blue, come back! Blue!" she cried, her voice cracking and heart pounding.

Standing there in the storm, the icy wind and snow swirling around her, making her shiver violently, she grew bitter as the memories of the last week flooded her mind all at once. The first night after the crash that they were both awake, the fall into the ravine, the caves, the waterfall...

In an instant, she hated him, and she wasn't entirely sure why. The anger rose from her fear, perhaps, or maybe it was just the feeling of betrayal holding onto her. In that moment, she decided not to care about Blue anymore. "Fine!" she screamed. "Leave! I don't care! I don't need you! I can do this on my own!"

She waited for a response, a sign he had heard her, but all she could hear and see was the relentless wind and the endless white all around. She turned and made her way back into the cabin, closing the door and locking it behind her. Then she sat on the couch before the warmth of the fireplace and sobbed silently, her face buried in her hooves.

296 Hours

Darkness had long since fallen, and Blue was growing weary, having wandered far away from the cabin in the blistering winds of the winter storm that raged on. He had no idea which way he had gone, where he was, or why he had run so far away. He knew it was likely a mistake, but it was too late -- he was lost.

Through the trees Blue continued, though his progress had slowed to a crawl as the snow piled up to almost rump-level, making every step more and more exhausting and draining. He didn't know how much longer he could go on...

The trees provided some form of shelter, and since he had brought the small blanket they had been traveling with prior to finding the cabin, he had warmth. He had the knowledge of how to start a fire so he could melt snow for water. He had everything he needed.

Blue marched over to a spruce tree with low branches. Underneath in the circular space surrounding the base of the tree, the snow was almost nonexistent, making it a prime location to shelter from the fierce winds that seemed to have grown more intense with nightfall.

As if to confirm this, the storm gave an animalistic growl and a layer of snow whipped up from the surface, nearly blinding him as the tiny shards of glassy ice pelted him like shrapnel. He yelled in surprise and covered his face with a foreleg to protect it the best he could.

Blue struggled to climb up under the lowest branches of the spruce and moved as close to its trunk as he could manage, quickly tearing open his bag and retrieving the blanket. He threw it on and lay there in a fetal position, shivering incessantly and cursing aloud, though his voice was easily lost in the ambience of the storm. He could hardly even hear himself think.

What the fuck have I gotten myself into? he cursed himself in his head. What a damn fool. The only thing not here making my life more miserable was the beast, lurking around out there somewhere. I'm sure he sees me, and is just waiting to have himself a nice, tasty meatsicle once I freeze to death.

Blue curled up tighter, trying to conserve as much heat as possible while he hunkered down, though at this point, something told him it didn't matter. He had no clue what the temperature was, nor did it matter. The winds were billowing and easily whipping at least 30 mph, and that meant at freezing temperatures the wind chill was well below lethality if he stayed out here too long. And since he had no choice but to be out here...

Blue sighed loudly with frustration. Why did he run off like that? Sure, Fluttershy had pissed him off, but what that worth his life? Really?

His mind filled with memories of the last few days. His time spent with the mare he had begun falling in love with. His lie to get them moving. Her reaction to learning about said lie. Her misunderstanding of his reason and idea behind the lie. It was enough to make his blood boil if it wasn't so cold out.

Why hadn't she seen his point of view? Everything he had said made sense to him. Why not to her? As if she'd never lied before, for any reason?

The more Blue thought about it, the angrier he got. What he had done was for her. Not so much for him, as he had made it his goal to protect the mare and get her home safely at all costs. But she had rejected his method of getting them to safety. So what if it was dangerous? So what if finding the cabin was pure luck? If he hadn't hustled them out into the woods, the never would've found it in the first place, so in his eyes, she should've been thanking him.

Blue shifted under his blanket, trying to seal himself underneath to keep heat in. he winced when his broken leg pulsed with a dull achiness, reminding him that he had just walked miles on it in an angry fit he was sure to regret come morning.

Returning his thoughts to the events that had transpired earlier, Blue thought about Fluttershy's words to him. She had said a few hurtful things, but the one that had taken the cake was when she said she had essentially regretted him, how they had been a mistake.

How could she trample his heart underhoof like that so mercilessly? How could the Element of Kindness say such a thing? All he had ever done since the minute he had found her limp form lying in the snow after the train wrecked was protect her, serve her, and do everything he could to keep her safe and alive. He had given her his all, and over one silly lie, she completely rejected him. How was that fair?

Blue's teeth began chattering audibly, though he wasn't sure if it was from anxiety, or the cold. The storm went on, though under the branches of the tree, he was protected from the wind for the most part, which eliminated half the danger and battle for survival.

Back to the earlier events. Blue wondered why every mare he ever met did the same thing -- abandoned him over a small lie that he had good intentions for. It was always the same. "We can't trust you", or "Once a liar, always a liar".

The same shit every time. No matter what the lie was for, even if it was to make everything better, it was always him that took the fall and the mare would leave him, claiming him to be "dishonest' or "manipulative". Whatever the hell that meant. If trying to keep things going smoothly meant you were dishonest, then maybe he didn't want to be in any more relationships.

It was with that thought that it hit him like a brick wall -- every time, it was the same thing he was doing that led to the failed relationship. It was always him lying about something that brought him down the same exact path, over and over. In a moment of clarity, Blue realized his dishonesty was the problem here, not the mares.

Blue felt a stab of fear in his gut. He had left the safety of the cabin, the safety of Fluttershy's presence, in lieu of the woods and the winter storm, all to prove a point. That point now plagued him with biting winds, relentless snowfall, and a lingering feeling of dread about the terrifying monster that they had run into a couple times. It was out there, somewhere... waiting, watching, plotting...

"Well, could be worse," Blue muttered sarcastically through chattering teeth to himself, clutching his blanket and pulling it as close to him as possible as he lay there, shivering violently. "Could be still in the ravine."

There was nothing he could do about the situation right now. It was dark, the storm wasn't over, and he was alone. It was better to at least wait until daytime before attempting any kind of travel. At least then he could see his surroundings to some extent and plan out his next move. For now, it was time for rest.

If it comes to me, Blue thought bitterly to himself. He closed his eyes and focused on fabricating a plan to take his mind off the cold and the persistent throbbing pain in his leg which he attributed to storming through deep snow for the last couple hours.

Tomorrow was going to be a long, painful day.

354 Hours

Fluttershy stood anxiously by the front door, staring blankly out past her reflection into the frozen landscape. It had been nearly two days since Blue had fled into the wilderness, leaving her alone. At first, she hadn't really cared. But that didn't last long.

As much as Blue had angered her, betrayed her trust -- she cared for him. For some reason, there was part of her that forgave him, and understood his reason behind the lie with the map.

She sat on her haunches and sighed, placing a hoof on the window, which formed a bit of condensation around her hoof from the warmth she put off.

Blue was either dead, or soon-to-be. The storm had ended hours ago, making way for surprisingly clear, blue morning skies, but it was intensely cold -- colder than she had ever felt since the train wreck.

Now, she worried for Blue. If he was alive, she would have to find and bring him back to the cabin, somehow. But there was no way she could locate him by herself. To even have a chance at that, she would have to be able to fly, and with her wing still healing, that wasn't possible. So she resorted to an alternative method.

The entire previous day, and beginning early this morning, Fluttershy called upon the very few birds in the area, asking them to fly and search for Blue, then return to lead her there. So far, the birds had found not a trace of him, and every time they announced so after a trip, the knot in her stomach grew bigger and her hope shrank.

Blue couldn't be dead. She needed him, and he needed her. It was a mistake to get so mad at him, and she knew it now. She had let her anger control her words, and she had said something that probably broke his heart. Maybe it wasn't too late for reparations, but that was only if she could find him, assuming he was still alive after that terrible, brutal snowstorm...

Fluttershy broke from her reverie and unbolted the door when she caught a glimpse of the grey-crowned rosy finch she had sent out hours ago, when it was still dark.

Stepping outside, Fluttershy immediately felt immensely cold, and rubbed her shoulders by crossing her forelegs across her chest as she sat and waited for the little bird to land nearby and deliver his news.

The finch soared up and landed on the wooden bannister beside her, tweeting excitedly.

Fluttershy perked up, having previously been growing more and more depressed as the searched yielded no results, but this time, the bird seemed to have found something.

"Um, you're tweeting too fast. I can't understand..." she said, furrowing her brow and cocking her head to one side.

The bird hopped up and down and repeated itself more clearly, trying desperately to get her to understand its urgent message.

Fluttershy gasped, taken aback by what she had just learned. It was great news, but seemed impossible. In any case, she couldn't believe what she had just heard.

"You found him? He's... alive...?"

The bird nodded and waved a wing, encouraging her to follow him as he flapped his little wings and fluttered about madly.

"Okay, okay... I have to get some things together and we'll head out right away!" She spun and bolted into the house without even closing the door, gathered what she saw as important for the trip, not knowing whether it was going to be long or short, and left hastily with the bird leading her overhead.

I just hope I'm not too late... she thought to herself with lingering fear as she tread through the snow into the dense evergreen woods.

Blue sat with his back resting against the rough bark of a tree, his legs propped up on the snow that piled up around it.

He was tired, cold, starving, and close to giving in. He had underestimated nature and overestimated his skills. Without Fluttershy, he had quickly learned that he knew nothing about edible plants in this environment. He tried to find a few that Fluttershy told him about, but he couldn't remember exactly what they all looked like or where to find them. Not to mention the snow made finding any plants almost impossible.

He hadn't traveled very far from where he had stopped the first night. There was no point -- he was hopelessly lost, and wasn't going to make it out here alone. Sequestered amongst the trees, lying there, waiting for death that would surely follow soon.

The storm had ended, but it was now bitterly cold. Blue knew the temperatures were low enough to kill within hours if he didn't get food to gain calories and generate heat. If he didn't keep moving, he would succumb even faster.

But he was tired. Tired of working so hard to survive, tired of waiting for rescue he knew would never come, tired of being prey to some unidentifiable beast that would soon be feasting on his lifeless corpse -- lifeless if he was lucky.

The brilliant sunlight shone down through the branches of the tree he rested under, making the snow all around take on a gorgeous glitter like millions of tiny diamonds. The nubiform waves of snow stretched on for miles in all directions, filling in the gaps between trees and weighing their branches to the point they could snap at any given moment as they sagged at impossible angles towards the ground.

All of this was beautiful, almost serene, but Blue was past caring now. He used to, back when this insane journey first began, but now he was alone, dying, and hopeless -- a victim of his own stupidity. All those promises to keep moving, to maintain hope and faith, to fight to the very end... all in vain. It seemed nature was going to take him after all.

No, he thought to himself, struggling to his hooves with a pained grunt. I will not let nature do me in. I will die by my own hooves.

He had done this to himself. He had ruined everything and abandoned Fluttershy to fend for herself. Who even knew if she was okay at this point? The monster would've surely made a quick meal from her by now, and he was to follow, if the cold didn't take him first.

His mistakes had led him here, to this remote location deep in the unforgiving wilderness of the great Frozen North, and now that death was inevitable, the honorable way to go was not to let nature have its way with him, but to end his own misery in a quick, painless fashion.

Blue knew exactly what to do, and how to do it.

Leaving his bag beside the tree, as he wouldn't need it, he began staggering through the snow, panting heavily, his breaths leaving clouds of vapor in wavy, floating trails behind him as he made his way in the direction of the ravine he had almost fallen into the previous day while scouting.

A tear of regret streamed down his face as he realized what he was planning. Was this really it? Was he about to go die, to give in? It's not like he had any choice -- without Fluttershy, he wouldn't make it another day or two. Her value to him made more and more sense as he shuffled along, gritting his teeth and shivering.

Unless by some magical coincidence, he stumbled upon the cabin again, or rescuers showed up, Blue knew there was absolutely no way to survive now. The overwhelming odds piled up like the snow, and the battle was lost.

He felt strangely calm, now. Knowing that Fluttershy was probably dead made him feel better. It sounded terrible at first, but if she was dead, she wasn't suffering, which was good. It would be his fault if she was suffering, anyways.

Blue tried to clear his conscience the best he could and prepare for his untimely end, but thoughts of his moments shared with Fluttershy kept popping up at the forefront of his mind.

She had made most of this ordeal sufferable for him. Because of her, he had never given up hope, or been able to. Her personality was the light they needed to make it out here.

And then there was... the night. He had heard her say she regretted it. He didn't. They had been inebriated and that had greatly affected their choices, this was true, but there was more to it than that. They had made real love, in his opinion. There was an emotional connection they both shared, and he believed it had been made clear that night.

This was all a moot point now. She was probably gone, and now, it was his time as well.

Despite the storm being over and the sun shining brightly as it rose further into the sky from the peaks of local mountains to progress morning to noon, Blue struggled with the remnants of the storm and the unbearable cold. Factor in the paucity of edibles of any kind, and there was your recipe for failure.

The thick, powdery snow put up a fight, not letting him move with any kind of pace at all, but then, he didn't care. The pain in his broken leg worsened to the point that he was near tears, but he didn't care. The cold was making his eyes burn, his lungs cry out, and his extremities go numb, but he didn't care.

Even if it took him until nightfall, he would keep moving. When he found the ravine, only then could the sweet embrace of death steal him from this frozen hellscape that threatened to take him with every step.

Blue marched on.

The snow made her travels slow and tiresome, but she had packed plenty of food and water, along with a nice, heavy coat she had found in the cabin. The cold bothered her greatly, but her mind was set on a goal that she intended on reaching at any cost -- she was going to find Blue and get him back to the cabin no matter what.

With the bird whirring around overhead, leading her through the tall trees that suffered from the pillows of snow on every branch, only hanging on precariously, occasionally plopping down to the snow below and startling her.

Fluttershy couldn't help but wonder what condition Blue was in. His bag hadn't been packed with any essentials as far as she knew, but that didn't mean anything. They had improvised plenty of times throughout this ordeal, and she knew Blue well enough to know he would find a way to make things work if a problem presented itself.

What worried her the most as she threaded her way through the woods was whether he had endured the storm and the cold. No amount of improve would save somepony from the onslaught of freezing winds and snow that piled up for days. If Blue had made it, and the bird was right that he was alive, she had to get to him fast...

"Please be okay, Blue..." Fluttershy pleaded under her breath and continued following her guide.

Blue was not okay.

He had officially given up. Life was not worth living, not now.

He had failed Fluttershy, himself, and everypony else with his actions of selfishness. Nothing was going to stop him from carrying out his plan now.

In some sick way, Blue felt no sadness or fear. He just felt... loneliness. Intense emptiness. There was nopony there for him, nopony to tell him things would be okay, that he needed to keep fighting, and he couldn't even come close to convincing himself that.

With his legs beginning to ache, his stomach growling in protest, and tiny crystals of frost forming on his eyebrows and mane, Blue trudged on, slowly caring less and less about everything. Nothing mattered anymore.

Ahead, he spotted the telltale clearing along the edge of the ravine as the trees couldn't hold on to enough ground here to grow more than a few feet tall, and the ones that did were stunted and angled sharply towards the ravine.

For a moment, he almost felt relief. It would be all over soon.

He approached the ravine edge, searching along its crumbling banks for a good place to jump from, and he found himself starting to question his plan again.

Too many emotions, too many thoughts... he was losing his mind. He knew he had to do this, he had to. There was no way to be saved now -- he was already where he needed to be and there was no turning back. There was nothing to turn back for, anyways.

Beside him, a platform of rock protruded out over the ravine, its jagged edge decaying and depositing chunks and fragments of what appeared to be basalt all over the floor of the chasm. The snow had piled up on it, but was much shallower than the rest of the woods.

This was the place.

Blue made his way to the platform and crawled up onto it with a groan, moving as close to the edge as he could, then stared into the abyss. Snow had filled it quite a bit, but the massive ravine was deep enough and steep-walled enough that it didn't matter. The fall should still result in instant death.

"What the fuck am I doing?" he suddenly blurted down into the empty space before him, a knot forming in his stomach. "What the FUCK am I doing? What am I doing?"

Over and over he yelled, increasing the volume until his voice was hoarse, his words echoing off the walls into the distance until he could understand them no longer.

Blue stopped and took a deep breath, letting it go slowly and glancing around him at the icy world through the fog of his breaths.

What was he doing? Was he really taking the coward's way out?

"Celestia have mercy on me," he plead, dropping to his knees in the snow and covering his face with his hooves as warm, salty tears streamed down his cheeks and deposited themselves into the snow. "I don't know if I can do this. I... I have to, but I don't know if I have the strength..."

There was no other way out of this mess, and now that he was having second-thoughts, everything he had been through up to now seemed to slam his thoughts all at once.

Wave after wave of emotions swept through him, and he began sobbing there on the platform, unsure what to do. Before reaching the ravine, the idea of jumping to his doom didn't seem so terrifying, but by nature's design, nopony truly wanted to die this way.

But this was the only way to end the pain, to prevent the inevitable suffrage of a slow, agonizing death by the cold, which he was already starting by the lack of feeling starting in his limbs. Time was running out.

Blue sniffled and looked up to the sky, his eyes red and burning from the cold as he wiped away the tears with the back of his hoof. "Why does it have to be this way...?" he asked aloud in a shaky voice, hoping to somehow magically receive a response. But he knew there wouldn't be one. He was just stalling, unable to bring himself to do what was his only option.

He couldn't do this.

So what, just die from the cold? Die from the giant carnivore? Die of starvation?

No, Blue told himself, wiping away another tear that escaped from the corner of his eye. I will do this.

He gathered the courage after a few moments and climbed to his hooves, swallowing the rock in his throat. He peered down over the edge at the cliffside. It was rough -- unfortunately, he would probably hit it unless he jumped out far enough.

There was no more time to waste. This was it.

He closed his eyes and silently asked for forgiveness from friends and family as he prepared himself to jump.