Prologue: Meeting the Muscleguts
The Magical land of Equestria, a place if general peace and Harmony. However, the Multiverse contains so many variations of such. From minor, almost inconsequential changes, all the way to complete changes in Equestrian society. From quadruped to human. From lithe to immobilized from pure fat. So many variables, so many choices, so many stories...I'm rambling, aren't I? Sorry.
*Ahem* Shining Armor, a somewhat larger than normal unicorn (more than likely, muscle) that is the Captain of the Guard. And Big Macintosh, an earth pony farmer so strong that he can drag an entire house halfway across Ponyville. That is the norm for the two. However, by changing all life to anthro-Equestrian, and changing the two’s interests and habits enough to not change their cutie marks, things are different enough to give these two BBBFFs a spot in the main story...Or I should say BBBBFFs (or Big Bellied Brothers, Best Friends Forever).
Shining Armor, a muscular, yet rotund unicorn that is one of the best wrestlers in Canterlot. His ring name is the Royal Knight, as defined by the Royal purple on his tunic, hand guards, belt armor, and knight-like helmet. He originally wanted to join the Royal Guard, but given his weight and appetite, it was virtually impossible for him. He could exercise all day and night, gaining a lot of muscle and endurance, but his belly wouldn't decrease. If anything, it got bigger with time.
So, since his body wasn't going to be good for the Guard, he looked into sports and found that wrestling could fit the bill. Years later, when his sister was roughly 18 and was Princess Celestia’s protege, he was pretty famous as a wrestler and was the best BBBBFF his sister could ever have.
It was on the longest day of the thousandth year that his life would change. Him and his adopted brother, Spike the Dragon, were getting themselves ready to attend a party hosted by a Canterlot local, Moondancer. Shining Armor was going in his wrestling wear to give the show of having a celebrity at the party, while Spike had a gift wrapped and ready for the host as a thank you. However, the door slamming open and smashing Spike and his gift into Shining’s gut ruined their plans.
“Spike! SPIKE!!!” Twilight, Shining’s younger sister, called out, before she noticed her BBBFF just behind the door. “Shining, have you seen Spike anywhere? He should be around here.”
“Twily,” Shining started. “If you are going on another study binge thing, first off, don’t rope Spike into it. You may be his caretaker, but I’m putting my foot down. You should remember that he is a baby dragon and deserves some time away from helping your studies from time to time. And second off, even if he wanted to help you, he probably shouldn’t considering his current state.” Shining then pushed the door closed to reveal Spike with a dazed look, bloody nose, and ruined present.
Twilight looked at Spike in shock before smiling nervously. “Oops. Sorry Spike.”
“Did anypony get the number on that carriage?” Spike responded. Shining Armor sighed and gently picked up the punch-drunk drake.
“I'll get him to the hospital, then I'm heading to Moondancer’s party, as the Royal Knight,” Shining placed his helmet on and made to leave. However, his sister stopped him.
“Oh no you don’t. You know we don’t have time for that kind of stuff.”
“Twilight!” Shining raised his voice, a whole lot more annoyed. “You don’t have time for that kind of stuff. I understand that you want me to be around when Spike can’t be, but life is gonna happen, whether you want it to or not.” He softened his voice to comfort her from his tongue lashing. “Don’t take this the wrong way. You are the best LSBFF a BBBBFF could ever have. It’s just, you keep yourself isolated to the point that either Spike or myself have to be nearby to make sure you’re alive.”
“It isn’t that bad,” she protested.
“And I should point out, that you asking me to stay with you and ignore my personal time is a sure sign that, subconsciously, you crave some sort of companionship. So do us both a favor. Drop your studies for the rest of today, and find friends,” he admonished. “Whether it is just a bunch of ponies or you get a colt friend out of pure luck, I don’t entirely care. You spend too much time in your studies that I fear your obituary will not only show before mine, but will read ‘Twilight Sparkle, Died a lonely mare while reading and not caring for her health’.”
Twilight went to respond, but Spike’s drunk face scrunched up before he burped and a scroll materialized from the resultant smoke. “Huh? I wonder what the Princess wants,” Twilight said as she grabbed and opened it. She read it to herself, smirking briefly before she gasped and her eyes widened and she dropped it.
“What? What is it?”
“ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!?!” Twilight shrieked in rage. “First you, and now Celestia tells me that I’m going too far in my studies and need to make friends!” She began pacing with visible steam venting through her ears. “And to make matters worse, she’s having me go to Ponyville to oversee the Summer Sun Celebration, just when I have some suspicions about Nightmare Moon and the Elements of Harmony!”
“Not entirely sure what you're talking about, but I'm sure that whatever the case may be, the Princess may have secret plans in place for things that go wrong.”
“You don't know that!”
“Neither do you,” Shining countered. “And personally, I'm rather surprised. The mare who is willing to move the cosmos itself to obey the Princess, ends up acting like a foal when encouraged to make friends.”
“I don't act like a foal!” Twilight pouted.
“Case and point,” Shining confirmed. “You’re okay with obeying Celestia to the letter, but as soon as she tells you to make friends, you end up complaining.” Shining took a deep breath and calmed down. “If it'll make you feel better, once I get Spike here to the hospital and give Moondancer my apologies, I'll go with you.”
Twilight’s mood did a complete 180. “Really?!”
“Yes, but I'll make sure you actually carry out the Princess’s orders.” Twilight began pouting again. “Now pack a change or two of clothes and I'll be with you momentarily.”
(Meanwhile, in Ponyville)
Big Macintosh, the muscular, yet rotund, owner/manager of Sweet Apple Acres. Having managed to somehow industrialize the family cider and baked goods businesses, and still managed to keep top-notch quality in the products, the quality of life increased for the Apple family residing in Ponyville. Before such changes, his huge appetite was never truly sated at mealtimes or social gatherings. When things changed, his food portions and gut size increased.
Now, while he is practically the owner and manager of the farm and businesses and has increased weight, he still does enough manual labor to keep his muscles as strong as they ever were. Such has hauling a private shipment of a few hundred kegs of cider, both kinds.
“Whew!” Big Mac exhaled loudly. “Either I've gotten soft or the cider weighs more.”
“I think it's both in this case,” his sister, Applejack, said from the cart Big Mac was hauling. “Your appetite has gotten you to the round shape you have now, meaning you've gotten a bit soft. And let's not forget that you're pulling a few extra hundred pounds more than you usually pull.”
“Eh, fair enough,” Big Mac responded. The two pulled into town and stopped at the back of Town Hall. Once they greeted Rarity, they started unloading. Unbeknownst to the large stallion, a hook pole snuck around him and pulled him from the unloading and onto a seat at Sugarcube Corner which was roughly two blocks and indoors from the hall. He was then hugged from behind by two pink arms.
“Hi, Mackey!” A bubbly, hyperactive voice said. “It's been awhile since I last saw you!”
“That was yesterday, Pinkie,” Big Mac told his marefriend. “But I'm sure it felt like forever, didn't it?”
“You betcha!” Pinkie exclaimed as she pulled a tray of a dozen apple cupcakes from behind her. “Here you go! A dozen cupcakes for my cupcake!”
Mac looked at her weird as he picked up one of the cupcakes. “I thought you were the cupcake,” he said.
“No, silly. I'm a Pie.” She then began giggling, causing Big Mac to join in the laughter.
“Heh heh, I gotta say, these cupcakes and your contagious laughter are two of three reasons why I date you.”
“What's the third one?” Before the author could even write, ‘she asked,’ Mackey pulled me close into a deep, apple-flavored kiss.
Pinkie!
Yes?
I thought I told you to not break the fourth wall yet!
Oh, come on! That's what I'm supposed to do! A FIMFiction story with me in it, but lacking the constant breaking of the fourth wall? That's makes about as much sense as cupcake without the cup.
What am I gonna do with you?
Anything you want silly! You are, after all, the author.
(Evil smirk) Note to viewer, we interrupt the story to pull off some silly MacPie shenanigans.
Big Mac disengaged from the kiss to take a deep breath before jumping back into the kiss. However, as soon as their lips met, air started blowing into Pinkie’s mouth and her abdomen began swelling.
Hey! What's going on!?
Punishment.
For what?
For breaking the fourth wall when you weren't supposed to, ESPECIALLY, without permission.
Pinkie’s ever increasing size began to shift tables and chairs around in the main dining area. Pinkie tried to pull herself out of the kiss, but Big Mac placed a firm hand on the back of her head, keeping her in place.
I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'LL BE GOOD! I'LL KEEP MY FOURTH WALL IMPULSES UNDER CONTROL!
Big Mac pulled out of the kiss just as Pinkie's bloated form barely began getting caught between the floor and ceiling.
And now, back to the scheduled program.
Big Mac pulled out of the kiss and gave Pinkie a loving smile. “That was the third reason, my lovely Pie.” A non-puffed Pinkie smiled back.
“I only have two for you,” Pinkie replied. “You already demonstrated one, and two is a combination of my baking and your belly.”
“So me and my appetite?” Pinkie nodded. “Well, at least I’ll be well fed so long we keep dating,” Mac joked, his marefriend laughing to the joke. She suddenly stopped laughing. Her eyes went wide and back straightened up. And Mac knew what that meant, after dating her for almost a year now.
“Oh...My...GOSH! New ponies in Ponyville!” She squealed while running around like an excited filly on her cutie-cenerina. (Not sure if that is how it is spelled, correct me if I'm wrong.) “We gotta find out who!”
“No need,” Mac announced as he looked out the window. “A chariot from Canterlot with two unicorns in it are just getting ready to land.” He then shot his arm out and caught Pinkie's tail as she tried to rush out to greet them. “And try to keep calm until you get to setting up their surprise party. Okay?”
“Okie Dokie Lokie!”
Author's Note
Try saying "punch drunk dragon" several times fast.
Episode 1: Friendship is Magic (Part 1)
Episode 1: Friendship is Magic (Part 1)
POV: Shining Armor
“My dear Twilight,” Shining read, as they flew by carriage to their destination. “There is more to a pony’s life than studying, so I’m sending you to supervise the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration in this year’s location: Ponyville. And I have an even more essential task for you to complete: make some friends.”
Twilight groaned. “Shining, do I really have to do this?”
“The Princess practically ordered it, Twiley. No sense in trying to fight against it.”
“Shining! I know that something bad will happen and I need to focus on getting the preparations done and then find evidence of Nightmare Moon’s return!”
Shining sighed and placed his head in his hand. “You know, I know where the Ponyville library is, but if you don’t actually make an effort in making friends, I’ll do what I can to prevent any access to it.” Twilight straightened up.
“Really?”
“Really,” Shining confirmed. The carriage then landed, allowing the occupants to get off.
“Thank you, sirs.” The stallions nickered at Twilight’s thanks.
“Remember Twiley, actual effort,” Shining reminded. He then gestured towards an earth pony couple. “Just try, okay?” Twilight gulped before timidly approaching the couple.
“Umm...hello?” No sooner had the words left her mouth, the pink mare of the couple suddenly jumped up with a borderline scream sounding gasp and then sped off in a blur of pink.
“Umm...okay?” Shining muttered before turning to the red and rotund stallion. “What happened?”
The stallion chuckled. “My marefriend is what happened, sir. She’s about as crazy as a cherry enchilada. But despite that, I love her all the same.” He then held out his hand. “Name’s Macintosh, but most folks around here call me Mac, Big Mac, or Big Macintosh.” Shining took his hand and shook it.
“Pleased to meet you, Mac. I’m Shining Armor, and this is my LSBFF, Twilight Sparkle.”
“LSBFF?” Mac asked, obviously confused.
“It means, Little Sister Best Friends Forever,” Twilight told him. “And Shining is my BBBBFF, or Big Bellied Brother Best Friend Forever.”
“An obvious joke about my gut,” Shining sighed. Mac just chuckled.
“Sibling jokes. Gotta love them,” Mac laughed. “So, what brings you to Ponyville?”
“Two reasons,” Twilight answered. “One, I was assigned to oversee the preparations for the celebration. Two, however, I don’t want to talk about.”
“It’s okay, I ain’t prying.” Mac put his hands up in surrender. “Although, I should report in that the food is well under control. My sis and I just delivered the cider and food should be finished by this evening.” Mac put a hand to his chin. “Come to think of it, when me and my sis get back to the farm, the whole family’s gonna have some brunch. Maybe you could join us? The food we serve at home is the same that will be served at the celebration.”
“Its okay,” Twilight quickly said. “We don't-” A slight tap on her head and a questioning glance from Shining got her to pause. “-want to refuse your offer.” She gave an annoyed glare at him before turning back to Mac.
“That's wonderful,” Mac said. “We'll go grab my sister, and head to the farm.”
The brunch was a fun time, depending on who was asked. Shining enjoyed himself, eating a fairly large amount of good food and having pleasant conversations with the Apples, local and otherwise. Twilight, on the other hand, simply tried to eat in peace. Emphasis on tried, since Applejack and Apple Bloom, Mac's younger sisters, tried talking with her, causing her to unconsciously eat more than she intended in her attempt to ignore them.
“Urgh, I had too much pie,” she groaned sometime after leaving.
“Yeah, I was worried there for a moment,” Shining said. “I thought you were going to out-eat me.”
“Oh, ha ha. Very funny,” she snarked back.
“I'm just saying, leave the gorging to me. Now, what's next on the list?” Twilight pulled out a scroll with said list on it.
“Weather: Rainbow Dash,” she read then looked around. “Wherever that pegasus is, she isn’t doing her job.” Before she could rant further, a blue and rainbow blur sped past her, impacted Shining’s rotund gut, rebounded off into her. Both Twilight and the one responsible were sent sprawling into the mud.
The pegasus pushed herself to her knees and gave Twilight a sheepish grin and a slight giggle. “Uh, excuse me?” Twilight simply groaned in annoyance. The pegasus giggled again and said, “Uh, here, let me help you.” She flew off and returned with a raincloud. She jumped on it a few times, causing it to rain on Twilight. Shining had to hold back a laugh at seeing his sister drenched, but free of mud.
“Oh, oops. I think I overdid it. Uh, how about this?” She then took flight and formed a chromatic cyclone around Twilight. “My very own, patent pending, Rain-Blow Dry!” She gently landed and went to self-congratulate herself, but Shining’s falling down, gut-busting laughter stopped her before she started. She was about to give him a glare, but noticed that her Rain-Blow Dry caused Twilight's mane and tail to poof up.
She couldn’t hold back, and was bawling with laughter, sitting on Shining’s rotund gut as she did. Twilight looked at the two with a deadpan expression. “Let me guess, you’re Rainbow Dash?”
Rainbow Dash bounced off of Shining and struck a pose, mid air. “The One and Only! Why, you heard of me?”
“I heard you were supposed to keep the sky clear,” Twilight corrected. “I’m Twilight Sparkle, and that overstuffed, body pillow you were sitting on is my brother, Shining Armor.”
“Hey!” Shining shouted. “You’re one to talk, after how much you ate at brunch!”
She ignored him and kept talking. “I was sent by the Princess to check on the Celebration preparations, one of which is the weather. Why isn’t the sky clear?”
Rainbow gave Twilight a deadpan stare of her own. “You really don’t know?”
“Don’t know what?” Rainbow pointed to a large and ominous tree line. “What are you getting at?” Twilight asked.
“That’s the Everfree forest!”
“So?” She asked with a shrug.
Rainbow facepalmed. “You are a slowpoke! The Everfree forest is one of a few places where the weather isn’t controlled by us pegasi!” She was practically nose to nose with Twilight at this point. “So to put it in terms your slow mind can understand: Rainbow clears clouds; clouds from Everfree flows in, causing Rainbow to clear the sky more times than needed; Rainbow then gets tired from work, causing her to sleep when she should stay awake for the Celebration.”
“Kind of like how I feel when it comes to keeping the family library clean,” Shining commented. “Honestly, I feel like a maid.” His face then took on a form of mock anger. “I just cleaned up this mess! Can it be kept clean!? For TEN MINUTES!”
Rainbow laughed at his joke. “You know, you both aren't that bad even if you don't understand wild weather. I can't wait to hang out with you guys later. See ya both later.” Rainbow then took flight in a blur of blue and rainbow.
Twilight stared at Rainbow's flight away, her mouth open in shock. Shining walked up to her. “Wow, never thought I'd see you get outsmarted by another pony in my lifetime.” He then began examining her mane and tail. “You know, your new hairstyle seems more ‘you’,” he complimented with a chuckle. She simply huffed and walked on to town hall. “Yeesh, I thought all mares liked compliments on their manes,” he said, following her.
As they entered, Twilight read, “Decorations: Rarity.” She then looked around the area, seeing the decorations. “It seems that Rarity did a good job.”
“If her looks are anything to go by, she doesn't do a good job,” Shining said, gesturing towards a marshmallow white unicorn with curly purple mane and tail. She had an elegant skirt/blouse combo on, as well as almost more makeup than was probably necessary.
“Ahem.” Twilight tried getting the mare's attention as she was working.
“Just a moment, Darling,” Rarity said. “I'm in the zone, as it were.” She finished up tying a bow to a portion of a pillar. “There we go. Now, you werAAHH!” Rarity almost shrieked, seeing Twilight's mane and Shining's 'obesity.’
“Oh my goodness, Darling!” She fretted, rushing to Twilight. “What ever happened?”
“Huh?” Rarity then gestured to her mane. “You mean my mane? Well, I don't want to bother you with it, so I'll just get out of your hair.”
“Out of my hair? What about yours?” Rarity then grabbed Twilight's arms and started to drag her off. “Come along, Darlings. I'll get you cleaned up and slimmed up in no time.”
“Hold it,” Shining said. “When you said, ‘slimmed up,’ are you referring to Twilight or me? Because if it is me, I have to tell you that I’ve tried every diet and exercise program imaginable short of starvation and no sleep and nothing worked.” Rarity seemed surprised, but then looked at him with suspicion. “Believe me or not, but you can leave me out of your makeover.”
“Hey! What about me?” Twilight asked in a panic.
“Nothing wrong with two mares getting a makeover, right?” Rarity’s look changed when Shining said that.
“Of course! This should be about you. Not that slob of stallion,” she said to her.
“Ye...wait, WHAT?!” Shining exclaimed. He was about to go on, but the two mares left before he could. “Okay then. I’ll just explore town then.”
Some time and a giant meal at Sugarcube Corner later, Shining was on his way to the Golden Oaks Library to wait for his sister. As the library was in sight, somepony called to him.
“Hey there, Shining!” He turned to see Mac approaching. “My marefriend said to not go in their until your sister arrives.”
Shining walked to Mac and gave him a handshake. “Thanks for telling me, but I must ask, why?”
“Eh, she said it’s a secret.”
“A super secret,” said mare said from behind him before rushing out of sight. Both of them were silent for a moment.
“I’m not going to ask how she did that.”
“A good plan for anypony visiting,” Mac agreed.
“Well, from what I’ve seen so far, this place seems better for more than just visiting,” Shining said. “This place looks like a good place to go after I retire.”
Mac scratched his head in confusion. “Don’t take offense to this, but aren’t you a bit young to think about that?”
“Not if you are one of very few heavyweight unicorn wrestlers,” Shining said. Mac’s jaw dropped in shock. “Yup, I’m the Royal Knight. However, the fame is not to brag about.”
“Why so? Wouldn’t you like fame?”
“It depends on what type of fame. All the fan mares, and the constant claims of cheating started wearing on my nerves over time. So by the end of the Summer Sun Celebration, I’ll be done.”
“Done with what?” Twilight said from behind Shining, scaring him a bit. Shining jumped a bit and turned around a sheepish grin on his face.
“Oh, you done?” Shining asked, attempting to dodge the question.
Twilight sighed, deciding to follow along. “Yes. And my efforts with the pony in charge of music was...disappointing.”
“She must have met Fluttershy,” Mac said.
“You know her?” Shining asked.
“Yeah. When she first moved into town, she was so scared of everypony that when I was simply walking to a restaurant, she was across the street and promptly jumped into a garbage can.”
“That pretty much sums up my encounter with her,” Twilight said. “I accidentally scared her birds and when she was saying her name, I couldn’t hear it at all.” She sighed in frustration. “Anyway, can we get inside and get some rest?”
“Alright, you did enough effort on your own,” he said, before opening the door to the library. Shining turned to Mac, as his sister entered the building. “I’ll see you tonight at the Celebration.”
“Actually, you’ll be seeing me in…” Before Mac could finish, the inside of the library lit up and a loud “SURPRISE!” came out. The sheer volume of the shout sent Twilight flying out and into Shining’s back. The combination of her collision and the sheer surprise factor of the shout caused Shining to get knocked over into Mac. No more details were needed to see that the three were tangled up until somehow Twilight was sandwiched between the guts of the two muscleguts.
“I’m gonna have to have a chat with Pinkie about this,” Mac said in frustration as Twilight’s feet flailed into his face.
After getting Twilight out from between the two and was placed in the library’s bedroom to recover from the odd ordeal, the party was on...a bit more mildly than Pinkie originally had planned. Despite such “limitations,” the party was a blast. Shining himself enjoyed it almost more than most ponies. Unsurprising, considering how much food was at the party.
However, the party had to end, so that the actual Celebration could start. By that time, Twilight had recovered enough for it. While she was standing next to Pinkie and was part of a one sided conversation, Shining was standing next to Mac having their own conversation.
“-and that is one of the few ideas I’ve had for after my retirement,” Shining told Mac, not paying attention to the procession of the Celebration.
“Where do you plan to do this?” Mac asked.
“I’ve contemplated staying in Canterlot, but then I’d have to deal with the remaining fans.” Shining said. “Come to think of it, most major cities would recognise me as soon as I made mention of my name. However, Ponyville hardly seemed to recognise me, or if they did, they didn’t seem to care. So I’m thinking-” A shriek in fear was heard from Pinkie, causing the two stallions to look to her and follow her gaze. Looking upon the stage where Princess Celestia was supposed to be, they saw somepony they were never expecting.
“Nightmare Moon!” Twilight said.
Author's Note
Well, here you go.
BTW: If any of you know of any artists that are bronies, see if they can help provide illustrations for the story.
