The Crossover Chronicles: Adventures in Equestria

by Cool_Quick

Rating: teen
Tags: Violence, Crossover, Death, Narcotics, Twilight Sparkle, Star Wars, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Rainbow Dash, Super Smash Brothers, Fluttershy, Comedy, Suicide / Self Harm, Profanity, Adventure
Length: 39798

Multiple universes collide in Equestria, where they all must fight a raging evil

Summary: When Rainbow Dash performs her first Sonic Rainboom as a filly, she causes a young filly Twilight Sparkle to shoot several beams into the sky. Ten years later, those beams appear in various different worlds and teleport characters from Super Smash Bros., DC Comics, Marvel, Star Wars, Percy Jackson, and a regular human into Equestria. Not long afterwards, an old foe of Luke Skywalker’s terrorizes the land. And when a new foe, even deadlier than any enemy ever before seen, is born, he wishes to destroy the Elements of Harmony. If he succeeds, Equestria, followed by the universe, will crumble. Not only that, but the human has connections with him. Connections which make things worse. Together, the group must stop this foe. The stakes have never been higher, and if they fail, the universe will fall.

Published 2018-01-14 01:40:11 UTC
Last updated 2018-02-04 03:44:34 UTC

Chapter 1

Part One

When Worlds Collide

Chapter 1

Meeting Everyone

The Time: Now

The Place: Smash Mansion

The sun rose gloriously over Smash Mansion. Birds began their morning serenade. Peace and quiet rose over the valley.

That is, until you got to the Battlefield stage floating high above the mansion.

“I’m really feeling it!”

Shulk was feeling pain. Out of nowhere, Ganondorf appeared and hit Shulk with a Warlock Punch. Shulk flew out of the ring and returned with only one life left.He returned with a Back Slash; right on Ganondorf’s back. Samus also got in the way, and they were both knocked out. Now all that was left was Bowser. Shulk rushed in, and feinted. Bowser took it, and tried to hit Shulk with a side kick. Shulk simply used his Vision, and knocked Bowser into the boundary.

“GAME!!!” the announcer (who was really just Master Hand) boomed. “The winner is… SHULK!!”

Shulk was teleported back to Smash Mansion by a Pixelator, made by Professor E. Gadd, for their use only. When he returned to the Pixelator room, Dr. Mario checked him over, and then gave him a small pill.

“Take-a this,” he said. “This-a should-a help the swelling.”

“Thanks, Doc.” Shulk took a glass of water and drained the pill; making a face as it went down. Why did pills have to taste so bad? He looked up as Master Hand floated into the room. When Shulk had first arrived at Smash Mansion, he had asked how Master Hand talked or ate, or even saw or heard anything. The response was simple; “No clue.”

“Well done.” Master Hand looked proud, well, as proud as a hand can look that is. “That’s the fifth battle you’ve won in a row.”

“How’s Bowser?” Shulk asked. He was answered by a loud roar from the hospital wing.

“A bit feisty,” Master Hand answered. “Good sign that he’s fine.”

“When’s dinner?” Wario and Ryu asked at the same time. Then, they glared at each other like; "You dare talk at the same time as me?”

“It’s almost ready,” was the reply as Master Hand floated away. “Oh, and Luigi’s cooking meat lasagna tonight.”

He was met with a cheer. Awkward as Luigi may have been, he was an excellent cook.

The smashers rushed into the massive dinner hall. It was an ornate room, with banners hung on the white brick walls. There were three rows of tables all over 20 feet long. On one side of the room, the wall was see through, so that you got a nice view of the valley below; the river flowing into a lake nearby, and the hills stretching to the ocean in the distance. It looked really nice now; especially since the sun was setting. In the summertime, the smashers would have beach parties there.

Once, when they went to a beach party last summer, Wario had brought a grill with him. He had started cooking burgers inside a tent with his new grill, but got distracted by a volleyball tournament going on by the water. By the time he finally remembered his food and returned; the tent was catching fire. Luckily, Mario used F.L.U.D.D. to douse the flames, and the smashers still laughed about it.

Another time, a month later in fact, Luigi brought a surfboard, and was awkwardly trying to learn how to surf. When Ryu saw Luigi get close, he jumped onto the other end of Luigi’s surfboard, and sent Luigi flying high into the air, where he ran into a flock of seagulls, before he belly flopped into the ocean with a huge splash right next to Bowser. Bowser, who didn’t really appreciate the early shower interrupting his suntan, breathed fire on Luigi as soon as he came out of the water. Luigi had run back toward the water with his swim trunks ablaze like a firework display, and jumped back in, causing the water to steam with a loud “sssss.” This story was still a popular one among the smashers.

On the other side of the room was the kitchen, where wonderful smells were coming from.

“Mmmm,” Mario said with his nose in the air, “That-a smells-a good-a.”

“Why is he talking about Gouda cheese?” Link asked Wario.

“I don’t care,” Wario replied. “I just want food.”

Just then Luigi emerged, his chef’s hat lopsided on his head, his apron untied, his face sweaty from the hot kitchen and the work. He tried to whistle for silence but all it looked like he was getting was a sinus infection. Luckily for Luigi, Mario understood, and he whistled loudly; football coach style. A hush fell on the hall as Luigi stood up straight and announced, “Who wants lasagna?”

Instantly, the smashers rushed toward the kitchen and reached for plates; almost knocking Luigi over. Luigi, a little scared, dove under a nearby table.

“LINE UP, AND ACT LIKE CIVIL BEINGS!!” Master Hand yelled from his spot at the head of the room next to Crazy Hand. Crazy Hand was busy having a knife fight with himself, laughing each time a knife (luckily they were plastic) broke.

The smashers instantly lined up and held out their plates. Luigi, regaining his composure and coming out from his table, took a portion of his famous lasagna and plopped it on each plate. He made sure to get extra for Wario and Ryu, knowing their appetite was immense. Bowser was back by this time with Bowser Jr. and the Koopalings, and also got a big portion (Luigi was scared he might do something wrong in front of Bowser and suffer for it, like at the beach party I mentioned). Finally, everyone was served, and there was a low hum of conversation in between bites.

“Better than ever,” Fox McCloud said as he took a huge bite of lasagna.

“Don’t put so much in your mouth at once, sonny.” Professor E. Gadd was a guest that night, and he was sitting next to Fox at the end of the table. He was poring over some blueprints that he was busy writing on.

“What ith fat?” Fox asked with his mouth full. The professor gave him a look before replying, “Blueprints for my new Pixelator model. It should be ready for demonstration tomorrow.”

“We’ll be there,” Ness mumbled absentmindedly as he fiddled with his yo-yo.

When dinner was over, the smashers lined up to the automatic dishwasher (E. Gadd brand of course) and they all (almost all) thanked Luigi for the dinner.

“Sure,” Luigi said; beaming with pride at another good dinner made.

The Place: Orlando, Florida, Ten Years Ago

He gave a grunt as the suitcase fell on his foot. Cursing under his breath, he reached down to pick it up, only to bang his head on the van door.

Nearby, his sister giggled as he struggled with the common household item. His family told him that he was the only one they knew who could get into a fight with household appliances. Sometimes, admittedly, he even fought with the wall. When something like this happened, his dad liked to pop some popcorn and sit down to watch him give the wall a lecture. Most of the time, Dad would watch until he finally walked off, and then turn on a hockey game.

His dad, John, was the household funnyman. His favorite gag was to walk into a room and suddenly start reciting some random poetry that he himself made up. He was the only guy that anyone knew that could make poetry out of anything. Once, he even made one about a squirrel that fell out of a tree in their backyard.

This was a favorite story of theirs. His mom, Lucy, was outside, watering plants, when suddenly a squirrel fell right on top of her head. The squirrel just sat there in stunned silence for a moment, and then it shrieked and ran off. His dad told that story to anyone who would listen.At this moment, though, the boy was trying hard not to start yelling at his suitcase. He didn’t need his dad to break into random poetry if he heard.

Grumbling mentally, he hoisted the suitcase over his shoulder, and reached back into the trunk to pick up the last suitcase. He only needed one, but it was a pretty good sized one.He looked up at the building and sighed. His mom had insisted that they go visit his dad at work.

His dad worked at a lab. John was admittedly a bit of a nerd, but what he was doing here was important. The team that he was working with was trying to find a cure for every disease imaginable; anything from schizophrenia to cancer, to the common cold all the way to the most deadly virus.

The boy’s name was 10 year old Chris White. He was just a regular boy, and his 7 year old sister was also normal. Not. Her name was Sarah, and she was already quite attractive. She would probably be a model one day. She was sporty, rambunctious, and had a sharp tongue.

They went inside the lab, and were greeted by Chris’s dad.

“John!” Chris’s mom exclaimed as he kissed her directly in front of everyone.

The day passed uneventfully. But, at lunch…

“So, you’re trying to find a cure for… what was it mom?” Chris asked.

“Cancer, hon,” Mom replied, smiling.

“Yes,” John said, giving a beaming smile. “We’ve made excellent progress.”

“Do you think it will work?”

“Of course.” John leaned forward, looking serious. “With this, all of those people out there, suffering from this disease, could be cured. Instantly! We’d save thousands. Millions even. It’s my life’s work, and my dream.”

Chris smiled at his dad. Mom reached over and took his hand. “You’re doing great.”

Suddenly, an alarm started going off. John got up and looked out the door at a passing assistant. “What’s happening?”

“Fire!” the assistant gasped. “In the west quarter!”

John and his family rushed from the lunchroom, towards the fire. Arriving in the room, they found several people trapped by smoke.

“What happened?” John asked one panicked worker.

“Someone dropped a cigarette in a trash can. The fire’s approaching the gasoline!” The worker rushed off screaming.

“Run outside!” John yelled. “I’ll try to put out the fire.”

Without a word, Chris, his mom, and his sister rushed through the hallways and out into the street. After getting to safety, they turned around…

…just in time to see the place explode.

“Dad!”

“JOHN!”

Suddenly a piece of shrapnel came down and hit Chris’ sister in the head, crushing her skull.

John and Sarah both died that day. Or so it was thought.

The Place: Stark Tower, Present Day

Tony Stark loved serving drinks. It made him feel important.

But serving drinks to the Avengers? Even more so.

All of the Avengers had gathered inside Stark Tower for a break. Things seemed good, until Spider-Man decided to drop by. Then, he wanted a drink too.

“Come on,” Tony whined as Spider-Man drained his fifth glass of cola. “Those things aren’t cheap you know.”

Spider-Man looked up from his glass. “I think you got plenty of money for more. Plus, with how hot it is out there, I need it. I think that the temperature reading stands for how old you feel when you stand out there.” He looked at a screen nearby. “Eighty-five degrees. And I certainly feel eighty-five with that blast of heat.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Kids,” he muttered to himself.

“You know I can hear you. Spider sense and all.”

“Well, you needed to hear it anyway.”

“Can I have another glass of cola?”

“You’ve already had five gla…”

Spider-Man shot out a web that pulled the bottle of cola out of Tony’s hand and into his. “Thanks!” he said brightly as he poured himself another glass.

Tony stood with a Scrooge-like expression on his face. He looked tempted to pull out his Iron Man suit, and give Spider-Man a good punch in his under-the-mask smiling mug.

Restraining himself, he attempted a smile, albeit it being rather restrained. “Well…” he said before realizing that there wasn’t really anything to say.

What followed was a silence that really needed some crickets chirping. But, there were no crickets nearby, only cars down on the streets below.

The silence lasted for an awkward two minutes, only broken by an occasional throat clearing from Thor, or maybe a shuffle from Bruce Banner, or maybe just a “Hum,” from Steve Rogers. Definitely awkward.

Finally Spider-Man broke the silence. “This is awkward.”

Thor grunted in agreement. “It took a mere mortal to finally say that.”

“At least someone finally said something,” Tony said, sipping some root beer that he had found in his ice chest. A typical day, but something would change the next day.

The Place: Smash Mansion

After the dishes were cleaned, the smashers went into the game room. For those who haven’t been to Smash Mansion, the game room is about the size of a typical arcade. And it looked similar to an arcade, for game systems and arcade machines were neatly arranged all over and around the dark red walls. The room was always dim, because all arcades are that way, and Master Hand liked keeping to tradition. The floor was covered with a purplish red carpet, neatly swept daily. At the back of the room was a door that led into a room filled with games, ranging from NES cartridges to Nintendo Switch cartridges and everything in between. There was even a special Magnavox Odyssey 2 that Luigi had gotten years before (if you are a kid reading this, you probably have no idea what that is. It is a system released almost 40 years ago, long before the Smartphone. Yes, there was a time when, gasp, Smartphones didn’t exist). Surprisingly, it still worked, though it stayed in the back because it didn’t have any room in the main room (clever). Although the game consoles and arcade machines were neatly arranged in the main room, the back room looked like a herd of drunken water buffalo had run through the room a few times, followed by a tornado. Trying to find a game in there was like trying to find a speck of dirt in a huge pile of snow. Master Hand kept threatening to make the loser of a smash battle arrange the back room, but so far, he had forgotten every time. The smashers hoped it would continue to slip his mind.

Mario, Pit, and Shulk sat down at the N64 console against the wall close to the middle of the room, while Meta Knight tried to find Mario Kart 64 in the back. Every so often he would say a questionable word, and get a look from Peach, who was piddling on a Gamecube game called Mario Party 6 with Lucina, King Dedede, and Sonic. They were actually sitting to the right of the N64 group. When Meta Knight swore for the fourth time after he dropped the game he had been looking for onto his foot, Peach finally exclaimed, “Language.”

The nearby smashers laughed and Meta Knight’s yellow eyes glared at Peach as he hobbled over to his group with Mario Kart in his hand.

“I’m a-gonna win,” Mario declared as the game loaded up.

“You won last time,” Pit replied as Mario surfed through the menus. “This time, I won’t go down so easy.” The character selection screen came up, and Pit selected Luigi.

“Good choice,” Luigi said as he came by with a huge stack of Wii games that made Pit wonder how he could see anything around it. Zelda was waving at him from the Wii console closer to the front of the room with Dark Pit and Yoshi. Luigi was trying not to fall over.

“Is he gonna fall?” Pit asked. “I don’t think he’ll make it.” At that moment, Luigi tried to dodge PAC-MAN as he went by and nearly fell over the Whack-A-Mole machine. One of the Wii games fell over, but Luigi miraculously caught it on his foot. He continued to teeter for a moment, but regained his balance, which was quite impressive; especially since he had a couple of games on his head.

“He might-a not,” Mario replied, selecting himself as his character.Meta Knight said nothing. Shulk tried to pretend he wasn’t with them as Mario and Pit continued to argue about whether Luigi would fall or not. Finally, Mario stopped himself when Luigi somehow managed to make it to the Wii console group, who cheered. “Let’s a-just a-play,” he said. He looked back at the screen just as Mario’s in game voice said “OK?”

“YES, MR. OK!” Mario yelled at himself as Pit tried not to laugh. Meta Knight rolled his eyes, and Shulk continued to pretend he didn’t exist. Finally, the cup selection screen came up. Mario selected the Flower Cup.

“OK?” said in game Mario again.

Mario hit the button again with a loud and annoyed sigh. When Toad’s Turnpike began, Pit leaned forward, his controller at the ready. “Let’s do this.”

The race itself was full of cursing from Meta Knight, arguing from Mario and Pit, and Shulk looking like he wanted to hit someone over the head with his controller. When Meta Knight hit what must have been his fifteenth car, he swore loudly.

“Language,” came Peach’s voice again. Meta Knight looked tempted to throw the N64 or the TV at her. Maybe both.At the end of the race, Pit had won.

“I only –a let-a you win,” Mario said.

“Oh, so you intentionally hit that semi at the end, and also meant to shell yourself?” Pit asked with a smirk.

“That was actually my shell,” Shulk explained, speaking for the first time in twenty minutes. He had gotten third place, right behind Mario. He probably would have gotten second, but his Yoshi had hit a banana peel right before he passed Mario. Mario had managed to squeak by him.

Meta Knight’s Toad character had gotten fourth, mainly because he kept hitting cars. He was still muttering curses to himself about things you don’t want to know.

Meanwhile, at the Wii section, Dark Pit put in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. While the game warmed up, Luigi lay collapsed on the floor, his arms completely sore from the stress of carrying over a dozen games at once. Yoshi was looking down at him, occasionally uttering a concerned “Yoshi,” but nothing more. Zelda was looking at him too, but with humor in her eyes.

“Next time,” she said. “You can make two or more trips.”

“How about you ask for one game at a time?” Luigi replied, looking like he wished he could disappear.

Finally, the game was ready, and after Luigi exercised his tired muscles a bit, they fought for a while. They of course chose their respective fighter counterparts, with the exception of Dark Pit, who chose Ike. When Zelda gave him a look, he shrugged questioningly. “What? He’s got lots of power.”

“Thank you,” the real Ike said as he passed by with Mario Kart 8 in his hand.

“Did he walk by us on purpose just to do that?” Luigi wondered as Ike walked a little ways down toward the Wii U group consisting of him, Wario, Corrin, and Kirby. Kirby had to have a special controller, since he didn’t have fingers.All of the smashers played games for a while until around 10, when Master Hand announced that it was time to retire.

The smashers put the games away (not in an orderly fashion), and retired to their dormitories. Luigi went into his room, and took off his overalls. He then took a warm soothing shower (the shower curtain green of course) and put on his nightshirt and nightcap (also green). After brushing his teeth, he lay down in his bed, looking at the moon shining through his window.

“Tomorrow, things will get better,” he said to himself.

And in another land, in a small cottage, a small bunny was curled up next to a couch. From the couch a small voice whispered, “Tomorrow will be a good one Angel Bunny. I know it.”

They were going to certainly get an interesting day. As a matter of fact, nothing would ever be the same.

Author's Note

Chapter 2 is gonna introduce you to the action of everyone beginning to be teleported into Equestria. Be sure to let me know if anything needs fixing. Please also be nice in the comments:scootangel:

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Meeting the Mane Six

When Luigi could see again, his first thought was not again.

He landed in a house, which was lucky, but on a food bowl, which slid away, taking his foot with it. Luigi yelped as he smacked against a cabinet, which rained plates, bowls, and glasses on his head. When the rain of terror stopped, Luigi looked around, bewildered at the unfamiliar home. It seemed to be a cottage, and whoever lived here must like yellow. The floor was yellow, the walls were yellow, and so was the window. The only exception was the rug, which was green. Looking out the open window overhead, Luigi could see no sign of Smash Mansion. In fact, nothing looked familiar. He thought he saw mountains and fields, but he didn’t remember the former being around the mansion.

I wonder who lives here, he thought to himself. He was about to get his answer.

There was a stirring in another room, followed by a strange noise, almost like clopping hooves. It got closer and when the figure stepped into the room, Luigi wondered if he had hit his head too hard. The figure was… a Pegasus?

The Pegasus was yellow, with a long pink mane, and the same color tail. Its big, blue eyes were filled with concern as it stared at Luigi. He noticed it also had wings the same color as its body.

“Oh, goodness!” the Pegasus gasped, a hoof over its mouth.

Now I know I’m dreaming, Luigi thought.

“Are you all right?” it asked. Before Luigi could answer, it flew off and returned with a damp cloth with which it mopped Luigi’s head. The voice of the Pegasus was soft and feminine, almost motherly. Luigi felt slightly relaxed from her soothing tones, even if he was kind of distracted by her eyes. They were so large Luigi felt he could probably fit one of the plates inside them, with extra eye space. Nevertheless, they were a pretty blue, and it was interesting how her eyelashes seemed to curl outward and make her eyes a nice almond shape. He had to admit; she was pretty.

Oh, look at yourself, he thought. Falling in love with a Pegasus.

“Fine, other than a headache and a hallucination.” Luigi said.

“I’m afraid you’re not hallucinating,” the Pegasus replied. Now that Luigi’s head was clearer, the shock of seeing a Pegasus in front of him was starting to kick in. Trying not to act weirdly, which is a challenge for Luigi, he breathed deeply to relax his nerves. So far, in the last hour, he had gone from being at Smash Mansion watching E. Gadd curse at a computer screen, to sitting down on the floor with glass in his hat talking to a yellow Pegasus that could talk and had eyes as large as Wario’s head. Definitely not how he expected his morning to go. The least he could do was be polite anyway.

“What’s your name?” he asked, a little awkwardly.The Pegasus, now that it had recovered from its initial shock, was a little shy. Its head was turned aside as it said something like; “My name is Fluttershy.”

“Sorry, I didn’t quite hear you. Don’t be afraid of me. I won’t hurt you.”

The Pegasus gulped and said somewhat braver, “I’m… um… Fluttershy.”

Luigi wasn’t sure if he’d heard her name right. He’d heard lots of strange names before, but something like Fluttershy wasn’t one of them. He’d also never been in a land of talking pegasi before either.

I wonder how that Pixelator teleported us here, he thought.

“I’m Luigi,” he said finally after a long silence.

“It’s, um, nice to meet you, Luigi,” Fluttershy said in a friendly tone. Luigi was both shocked and relieved that she didn’t recognize him.

I guess we’re not known here, he thought.Then, as if remembering something, he said, “Oh, sorry for landing on your bowl and breaking your stuff.”

“Don’t be sorry.” Fluttershy looked at him apologetically. “I feel awful that you had your accident with something I put down so carelessly. I’m sorry.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Luigi assured her as he looked at the name on the food bowl. It said “Angel.”

“Your pet?” Luigi asked as he stood up. Fluttershy came up to about his stomach.

“You could say that.” Suddenly Fluttershy’s eyes widened. “Wait; are any other of your friends here?”

“Yeah,” Luigi said. “I wonder where they are.”

Mario awoke on a cloud. At least it was soft, but Mario wondered how he was actually able to stand on it. His cloud also wasn’t a storm cloud, which was lucky. It was white and puffy, about the size of a typical dining table. He gingerly walked to the edge, which was tricky, since it felt like he was walking on Jell-O.

Mario looked out over his cloud, and saw a small town down below. It was a picturesque town, almost like a picture you’d see on Shutterstock. There were bridges that went over a river, and the town was surrounded by the river, almost as if it was a moat. All in the town were ponies, some brown, others blue, or orange, or colors that Mario hadn’t heard of. There were ponies talking, ponies eating, ponies walking, ponies playing, and doing basically anything a human does.

Mario stared in shock as he saw all of the ponies. This definitely wasn’t anywhere near Smash Mansion.

Looking around some more, he saw what looked to be a farmhouse. It was red and white, just like a typical farmhouse you’d see, even with the chicken weather vane on top. But he noticed a big red pony tilling the soil. Not typical at all.

Breaking eye contact from the farm, he looked in another direction and saw an eerie looking forest. Shuddering, Mario made a mental note to not visit that place.

In the distance, Mario caught sight of mountains stretching far into the horizon. Himalayas? Mario wondered. But no, they were too flat topped to be Himalayan.

But, what caught his sight the most was what appeared to be another town in the distance. But, it was in the air. And it was made of a cloud. He could see winged ponies, or pegasi, flying to and from houses on the cloud. Mario thought he was losing his mind.

On a mountain in the distance was a castle. Mario wondered who ruled this land. It certainly was no land he’d ever seen before.

Suddenly, Mario teetered on his cloud and would have fallen if the cloud suddenly didn’t push him back. He landed in the middle of the cloud a little dazed.

“Alright, whoever you are put em up!”

Mario looked up to see a blue streak land on his cloud. That streak turned out to be a Pegasus with a rainbow mane, rose colored eyes, and a rainbow tail to match its mane.

He would have said that the Pegasus was adorable, if it hadn’t been clearly agitated.

“Are you an agent of Discord?” it asked in a raspy, female voice.

“Huh?” Mario’s face said.

“Acting dumb? Well I’ll make you confess!” The Pegasus reared up on her hind legs, and started jabbing her forelegs like a boxer. “Come on,” she said. “Do your worst.”

Mario couldn’t help but be amused. A pony fighting a man. Hilarious.

“Oho, taking me lightly, eh?”

Mario finally decided to speak up. “Look, I don’t know what on Earth you’re talking about, but can you please not hit me?” Then he realized he had forgotten to put his Italian high pitched voice on. Well, it was getting hard to keep it going anyway. Small loss.

Mario’s voice is not actually as high pitched as you think. The voice you hear is a put on. Mario’s real voice actually sounds like a high baritone, except with a tinge of a New York accent. You’ve been fooled your whole life. Anyway, back to the story. Where was I? Ah, yes.

The Pegasus brought her face directly in Mario’s face, and glared into his eyes. Uh, personal space please? Mario thought.

Finally, the Pegasus relaxed slightly. “Well,” it said cautiously. “You don’t seem that bad. I know an agent of Discord or Sombra when I see one, and you don’t seem to have that aura.”

“Thanks?” Mario said. “Now, can I introduce myself? Maybe then you’ll trust me a little more.”

The Pegasus gave him a look like, Go ahead already, I got things to do.

“I’m Mario, or ‘It’s a-me, Mario!’ as I sometimes say. I’ve been called ‘Hero of the Mushroom Kingdom,’ and have saved the galaxy twice. Although,” he said with a sad chuckle. “I think part of it was just dumb luck. What’s your name?”

The Pegasus’s face had changed to a look of awe. “Have you really saved the galaxy twice?”

“With luck,” Mario added.

“As hard as it is to say,” the Pegasus said slowly.”You sound almost as awesome, if not… if not…” she seemed to be struggling to say the next part, “more so than… me!”

“I doubt that, Miss…” here Mario gave a gesture which said, Name please?

“Oh, I’m the Number 1, most awesome Pegasus, Rainbow Dash!” Mario pictured cheering and clapping following this.

“So, how’d you get here?” Rainbow Dash asked, plopping down on her back beside Mario, which caused the cloud to shake like a ship in a storm. Mario tried not to look down.

He told her about E. Gadd’s experiment, and how it had gone wrong. Then, Mario remembered that more than just him had been hit by the beam.

Mario groaned. “That means that there are more smashers here.”

“Wait, what?”

“We come from Smash Mansion; where creatures and people from alternate universes meet to fight in a brawl fest,” Mario explained, feeling foolish for not mentioning this above.

“Awesome!” Rainbow Dash said. “I’d love to join! Then I’d totally dominate the field! I doubt Fluttershy would be any good at it though. Every time she’d ever hit someone she’d apologize.” She then slipped into an excellent impression of Fluttershy. “I’m so sorry! Are you okay? Can I get you a bandage?”

Mario laughed. He liked Rainbow Dash already. “Could you help me find my friends?”

“Sure! I’m your number one helper, because I’m naturally awesome at everything!”

Someone’s got an ego or fifty, Mario thought with a chuckle.

“First order of business…” Mario looked at the ground far, far, and just plain far, below. “How do I get down?”

“Oh, that’s easy.” Rainbow Dash patted Mario’s cloud, and it moved toward the ground at a heart pounding rate. As a matter of fact, Mario’s heart almost stopped. It jerked to a stop inches from the cobblestoned street, which made Mario fall off the cloud. Luckily, Rainbow Dash had good reflexes and caught him.

“Ta da!” Rainbow Dash said with a hoof in the air.

“Okay,” Mario groaned, trying to overcome his growing nausea and straightening his cap. “Let’s a go!” Well, he thought. Seems like I’m going to be living in a land of ponies. And possibly for quite a while.

When Toon Link opened his eyes, he wondered if he was blind. Then he pulled his head back and realized his head had been against a piece of dark cloth. He looked around at the spotlessly clean room and couldn’t help being impressed at the way the purple and white walls looked. The medium sized room was very nice; filled with cloths of all colors, sizes, and shapes (because it looked like some had been cut). Toon Link wondered if this was a clothing store.

He jerked at a noise behind him, and saw a closed door. On the other side was the sound of a sewing machine. He cautiously moved toward it, nearly tripping over a piece of purple fabric, and slowly opened the door. When he did, his suspicion about the place being a clothing store was realized.

The new room had dresses in any color imaginable. It was basically the same as the other room, but replacing the cloths, and adding an “e” in between the “h” and the “s” (clever, huh?). But the mannequins that the dresses were on were weird; almost as if it were for… horses? As he looked around he almost got hit in the head with a floating iron.

Wait, floating?

He was still contemplating this when suddenly a little purple dragon stepped into the room. The dragon took one look at Toon Link, said “Eeeeep!” and ran back into the room where it came from.

The sewing machine stopped, and a feminine voice with an accent that Toon Link could have sworn was at least partly British said, “Are you all right, Spike?” A head appeared and Toon Link almost fainted. It was a unicorn with a purplish-blue mane, large eyes of the same color and a white body. It was also wearing red glasses.

“Oh, my word!” the unicorn exclaimed when it saw Toon Link; almost falling off her stool in surprise. “Who and what are you?”

“I’m T-toon Link ma’am.” Toon Link wondered if he should call a unicorn “ma’am” but decided this one would prefer it. Plus, she just spoke! Even though he had seen weird things in his time, this was the weirdest. He couldn’t believe his senses. Also, how was she sewing with hooves?

“What a strange name,” the unicorn said.

“Most people call me TL. Some even call me Mr. T.”

“Well, my name is Rarity,” she said in a tone daring him to laugh.

Toon Link almost laughed, especially because he had never heard of a unicorn with a British accent, but restrained himself, not wanting her to bring the iron around again. “For me, seeing a talking pony is a rarity.”

Rarity smiled, and then quickly looked businesslike again. “How did you get here?”

Toon Link related the storm, the power outage, and the strange way they had gotten here.

“And I ended up here,” he concluded.

“So,” Rarity said, deep in thought. “Interesting.” She seemed suspicious, almost as if she had a theory as to how they got there.

“Also,” Toon Link continued. “Is there any chance you could help me find my friends?”

“Perhaps,” Rarity agreed, taking off her glasses. “I saw another beam go into Pinkie Pie’s house.”

“Can you take me?”

“Very well.”

“Thank you so…”

“What is that ridiculous outfit?” Rarity exclaimed, finally noticing his clothes. “Honestly, what was your designer thinking? Maybe I could make you a new one soon.”

“There’s really no need…”Rarity ignored him. “Maybe I could… Hmm…” She brushed her mane out of her eyes. Then as if remembering something she called out “Spike? Where are you?”

There was a strange noise in the other room, like a combination of a little girl screaming and a cat having a seizure.

“Spike?!” Rarity called louder, sounding nervous.

Spike came into the room sipping a cup of coffee with a mug that said, “Best Assistant.” When he saw Toon Link, he said, “Hi. Sorry for bolting. You kinda frightened me.”

“Spike, this is Toon Link,” Rarity explained, looking relieved.

Spike snickered. “That’s what I call a funny name. How’d you get it?”

“Well,” Toon Link said, “There’s another version of me called Link. Since I’m a cartoonier version of him, I’m called Cartoon Link or just Toon Link.”

Rarity gave Spike a severe look. “Don’t ever frighten me like that again Spikey Wikey!”

“I’m sorry Rarity. I always drink coffee when I get stressed. But the coffee machine is kinda messed up.”

“Uh, hello,” Toon Link interrupted, “Sorry to break your argument but we need to visit… Who’d you call her?”

“Pinkie Pie,” Rarity declared, regaining her composure. “Let’s go.”

Shulk was really feeling it. By “it” I mean pain everywhere.

He awoke on top of a pile of books. Now, Shulk usually didn’t mind books. He even liked reading books. But books sticking into every part of his body imaginable? Not so much.He heard humming in the distance, and got off his book bed (you know, bunk bed? Book bed? Ah, whatever). He realized he was in what seemed to be a miniature library. It was a medium room, with books on shelves built into the walls. There were also books on tables, on top of shelves, on the floor, and basically anywhere you can think books can go in a room. The brown wood walls gave off a peaceful, serene vibe. It almost looked like he was inside a tree. Nearby was a flight of stairs that led higher up the tree.

The humming got closer. Shulk turned to see a pile of books floating into the room.

Humming books? Shulk thought. No, the books were being held by some kind of force. Behind the books was… Shulk couldn’t believe his eyes… a unicorn.

It was purple with a multicolored purple mane, tail, horn, and large violet eyes. When it saw Shulk it stopped humming, and stopped moving. The force holding the books also stopped, and the books fell to the floor with loud thuds. The unicorn didn’t even notice.

Shulk and the unicorn stared at each other for a long moment.

Shulk recovered first. “You talk first? I talk first?”

The unicorn continued to stare at him.

“Ah,” Shulk said. “You can’t speak.”

“I can speak just fine,” said the unicorn, obviously female, looking offended.

“Oh,” Shulk said, wondering if it was a threat, and finding his Monado comforting.

“First off,” the unicorn… wait… Shulk looked at the unicorn’s sides, and realized it had wings. What were those creatures called again, alicorns? “Are you here to destroy Equestria?”

“Uh, no,” Shulk said cautiously. “I have no intention of destroying anything, and I have no idea where… wait… is this land called Equestria?”

The alicorn nodded, looking suspiciously at him. “Then why do you have that strange weapon?”

Realizing she meant his Monado, Shulk shrugged. “Self defense against questioning ponies.” Seeing the look on her face, he smiled. “I’m kidding. Not about the self defense part though. But you look too adorable to slice.”

The alicorn smiled a bit, obviously not used to being called “adorable.” “I think you’re telling the truth. So, what’s your name?”

“Shulk,” was his reply.

“Well, my name is Twilight Sparkle. Princess of Friendship.”

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Jack

The Place: Gotham City

It was a cloudy afternoon in Gotham City. A newspaper man was yelling about another sighting of the Batman. Several people bought a newspaper, intrigued at the newest sighting of this strange being.

One of the men who bought the newspaper was someone you would never have paid any attention to. He just strolled down the street, shoulders slightly stooped, dark eyes reading the Gotham paper with only half interest. Most of the news was quite unhappy, just like him.

He was failing miserably. It seemed that every time he thought he could get somewhere with a job, it flew away from him and he was left in deeper debt. The IRS had already left him several unfriendly notes saying “Pay up or pay consequences.” Problem was, what did he have to pay his debts with? Nothing.

The man sniffed slightly, trying to stay unemotional. Showing emotions around here could cost you your wallet, or your life. Keeping his newspaper in front of his face, the man shook a string of straggly dark hair out of his eyes, and set his jaw. His jaw was described as being bony, almost in the shape of an exclamation mark. People at school years ago would often stand beside him with a shirt that said something, and then point to him and say “There’s my exclamation mark.” The class would then erupt in laughter.

Grimacing, the man looked up briefly from his newspaper and saw that the bar he was heading to was just in front of him. A drink ought to help, he thought.

And so, Jack, for that was his name, walked inside, not knowing that that would be his last drink for a while.

Why was Jack going to this bar, known as one of the shadiest in town, you may ask? Well, you see, Jack needed to get some money, and he needed it fast. Normally, he wouldn’t have agreed to do what he had agreed to. What he had agreed to do was a robbery. He hated doing this, but he really had no choice. He had to do it for his future family. But he did grimace when he walked in.

Inside, it was gloomy. It was a small, cheap place; dirty and stinky with cigar smoke. Still, it would do for the meeting.

Jack saw the two men at a table near the middle of the room, and went over. One of them offered Jack a glass of whiskey, and Jack took it gratefully. It wasn’t as good as others he had tasted, but still. Remembering why he was here, Jack put down his glass.

He looked at the two men in front of him. One was tall, and skinny, with a small mustache, while the other was short, heavyset, with a bushy mustache. They were munching on some fresh lobster from the counter.

“I have a good reason for being here,” Jack began; taking a sip of whiskey. “I have to prove myself, as a husband, and a father. I mean… well… this isn’t something I’d agree to do normally, without an important reason.”

“Of course,” the heavyset man said.

Suddenly, Jack looked up from the table. "You see, I used to work at that chemical factory. I was a lab assistant. Pretty good job too. But, it just didn't hold much love in my heart. So, one day I decided to try comedy instead. Thought I could make people laugh. To make them feel good." He looked back down at the table with a sad chuckle. “Thing is; they didn’t. Now I’m not feeling good. That’s why I’m here. For one big score!”

“Hey, are you trying to be cool?” the thin man asked with a sneer.

Jack’s smile faded as he realized how stupid he sounded. “Sorry. I usually don’t drink at lunchtime. You’re not lying when you say we’ll get away with it? Nobody will know I was involved?”

“Not to worry friend,” the thin man said. “We’ll take care of you.”

“We need your help gettin’ through that chemical plant you used to work at, and into the playing card company next door,” the heavy man said. “It’s your expertise we appreciate.”

“And,” the thin man added. “To absolutely guarantee ain’t nobody connects you to the robbery.” He pulled out a duffel bag and opened it, revealing a red cape with a matching red hood. “You’ll be wearing this.”

Jack studied the outfit, thinking he'd seen it before. “Wait a minute,” he exclaimed. "That’s the Red Hood’s mask! He raided that ice company last month.”

“Smarten up, wise guy,” the thin man sneered. “There ain’t no Red Hood. Just a bunch of guys like yourself. And a mask.”

“Right, the most valued member of the crew gets to wear it, no questions asked,” the heavy man stated. “He can’t afford to be connected to the job so he deserves… uh… additional anonymity. Merits it.”

“Sure, that makes sense, right? That’s you,” the thin man said.

Jack still looked uncertain. “But there aren’t any eye slits. How am I supposed to see?”

The thin man sighed, apparently annoyed at Jack's continual questions. “Two way mirrors just like the cops use, yeah?”

Jack rubbed the back of his neck. “Oh, I don’t know… I don’t know! That chemical plant. I quit because it… it creeped me out! So… grim and ugly… it was getting under my skin!”

“But,” the thin man added. “You know it like the back of your hand. At least we hope you do.”

"Of course!" Jack said. "I just... hate to go back to that dump."

"Just think," the heavy man agreed. “This ain’t about you, no?”

“No,” Jack said finally. “No, of course not. Just this once. Then I can lead a proper life.”

“Exactly,” the heavy man reassured him. “Can’t make a nest without breaking a few eggs.”

Jack chuckled. “Heh, that’s funny.”

“No, it’s cliché,” the thin man corrected.

“So,” the heavy man said. “Eleven? Friday night? Friend?”

“Starting Saturday morning, I’ll be rich.” Jack said. “Let’s try to imagine that. My life completely changed. Nothing will be the same.” He smiled into his whiskey glass. “Not ever again.”

A short time later, Jack walked out of the pub with almost a spring in his step. Finally, it looked like things were going his way.

“Hey, give me a dollar.”

Jack whipped around to see a tall, muscular man with short dark hair and tattoos everywhere glaring at him.

“Sorry,” Jack said. “I don’t have anything on me.”

The man snarled, and pulled out a knife. Walking towards Jack with a grimace of a smile, he said, “I said, give me a dollar, or I’ll give you a facial makeover.” Seeing Jack’s scared face, he grinned wider. “How about a smile?”

Jack fled as fast as he could, hearing the big man say behind him, “Come back here and give me my dollar, dammit!”

Jack didn’t stop running until he was two blocks away from the man. Finally slowing, he tried to ease his rapidly beating heart by imagining the man’s head being shot to pieces. Then, he shook his head to clear that thought.

It’s not right to think about that, part of him said.

Why not? The other part would chime in. He doesn’t deserve better.

Suddenly, he almost ran into a muscular, tall man that was wearing a suit.

“Oh, excuse me,” he said hurriedly, trying to pass by unnoticed.

“No, excuse me,” the man said politely. “I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

Jack looked hesitantly at the man, who was giving him an eyebrow raise. “You alright? You look like you’ve just been chased by the Grim Reaper.”

“I’m fine,” Jack said as politely as he could, still trying to ease his breathing as he adjusted his bow tie. Now that he was thinking more clearly, he thought the man looked familiar. “Just got chased by some nut who wanted a dollar. This town really needs some chao… I mean order.” He had been about to say “chaos” for some reason. Not knowing where that came from, he tried to forget it.

“Here,” the man said, giving Jack something. Jack found a deck of cards inside.

“I’ve heard playing with cards helps with stress sometimes,” the man explained. “I just happened to have extra.”

Jack randomly pulled out a card. He found himself looking at the smiling face of a joker card.

“I’m Jack, by the way,” he said, giving the man a small smile as he put the deck in his pocket.

The man smiled back. “Bruce Wayne.”

Later, Jack finally neared the street that led to his home. Unfortunately, he was stopped by a red haired man with a mouth reminiscent of someone sucking on a lemon. “Sorry, but this area is being repaired. You’ll have to enter another way.”

“Oh, okay,” Jack said uncertainly. He turned and saw the Gotham Park nearby. Knowing that it went to the other end of the street, he walked inside, a little nervous, because it was a dark night.

Time went by, and Jack found that he was lost. He didn’t know the difference between left and right, and he had no clue which direction his house was.

Tired and sore, Jack leaned against a tree, trying not to panic. There was no need for alarm. He’d find his way out without any more surprises.

He spoke too soon.

Suddenly, the tree he was leaning on started to glow. By the time he realized this, the tree suddenly wasn’t solid. Because of this Jack lost his balance, and started to fall into the newly created portal.

Flailing desperately, Jack tried to find something to hold on to.

A squirrel took this moment to dump a nut right on Jack’s head.

With a startled yelp, Jack plunged forward and disappeared into the unknown.

A portal appeared in Twilight’s library. The first thing that came out of it was a mixture of babbling.

Spider-Man flew out of the portal, and ended up smacking right into a bookshelf, causing a bunch of literary works to fall on his body. Giving a groan as any man or pony would after getting a bunch of books implanted in your rear end; he finally switched to coherent English.

“Okay,” he said as he pulled a novel out of his rear. “I’ve gone through a strange portal into a strange house with most likely strange creatures living in it. I usually don’t go into strange places. That only happens on Wednesday, and this is Friday, so that officially makes this weird.” He turned around just as Iron Man flew out of the portal and barely missed hitting another bookshelf. The rest of the Avengers soon followed. Looking around, they watched as the portal disappeared with a “poof.”

“So, now that we’re here…” Tony Stark announced, looking around the room. “Where in the __ are we?”

“Stark,” Steve said warningly. “Language.”

“Beats me,” Peter said, hanging from the ceiling. “I’ve only been here forty five seconds. But I do know we’re probably in a house.”

Tony rolled his eyes, visible now that his mask was off. “I kinda figured that already.”

Bruce Banner spoke up. “Maybe we should look around a bit. Try to learn where we are.”

“I do know this,” Peter said. “This ain’t Oz.”

“What in the __ are you talking about?” Hawkeye asked, giving Peter a strange look.

Tony wagged his finger at him. “You know the cap’ hates language right?”

Steve rolled his eyes. This was going to be a long day.

“So that’s how I ended up in your kitchen.” Luigi was sitting on Fluttershy’s couch having some tea she had insisted on making. She had made him describe every detail he could about Smash Mansion, about his friends, and the way he had gotten here. She had sat wide – eyed at Luigi’s description of their battling.

“Oh, I hope they’re okay,” she had said.When Luigi finished, she said nothing for a minute. She finally said, “So, what will you do now?”

“Try to find my friends I guess. I’ve had to save Mario from haunted mansions before, so finding my friends in a cheery place like this should be easy.”

“Haunted mansions?” Fluttershy looked at him with concern. “I hope you’re okay. Is it as scary as the Everfree Forest?”

“It’s terrifying,” Luigi admitted; not remembering what the Everfree Forest was but deciding not to ask. “I’m not as brave or strong as my brother. But I hope one day, I can do what’s right, and save not just my brother, but the world. Not because I want riches or fame, but just so I can be like my brother.” He looked at Fluttershy with a sad, wistful expression. “A hero.”

He realized he was probably talking too much, but he felt like he was finally able to talk to someone freely. He’d never felt so able to expose himself before, and it was nice.

Looking up, he saw Fluttershy had tears in her eyes. She blinked them back, before saying, “You know, I actually think you’re better than Mario.”

“Really?” Luigi asked, almost dropping his cup.

“You’re terrified of the mansions. But you save your brother anyway. Sure, your brother does the right thing. But doing the right thing even though you’re scared of doing it? That’s real courage to me. I wish I could be like you.”

Luigi was shocked. He’d always thought of his brother as the courageous one. He never had thought about courage the way Fluttershy did. Smiling, he said warmly, “Looks like you’re one step closer already.”

Fluttershy smiled, and then suddenly her ear pricked at a noise outside. “What’s that?”

Luigi listened closely. At first, he heard nothing, but then he heard it. It was… a fart.

Luigi groaned. He knew who that was. Wario.

He and Fluttershy went outside. As they walked Luigi noticed an eerie looking forest not far from Fluttershy’s cottage.

I guess that’s the Everfree forest, he thought. Looks nice and cheery. He shivered and moved on.

They found Wario sitting on a hay bale by Fluttershy’s chicken coop scratching his rear end. He was leaning against her fence, as if trying to look cool, but he failed. When Wario saw them coming he gave them a welcoming fart.

Luigi tried not to breathe through his nose. “Hello, Fartio.”

“Garlic,” Wario said, picking his nose.“Who’s that?” Fluttershy asked, obviously finding Wario inappropriate.

“Wario,” Luigi gasped, trying not to gag at the smell wafting through the air. “He’s very rude and disgusting.” As if to emphasize this point, Wario farted again.

“Oh,” Fluttershy said, using her wings as a personal fan.

“Talking ponies,” Wario observed. “Another thing I can add to my ‘List of Odd Things I Have Seen.’ Also that,” he gestured to Fluttershy’s mane; “is way too pink for my liking.”

“I think it looks good on her,” Luigi said, and Fluttershy smiled at him.

“Eh,” Wario replied, unimpressed.

“Do you know where our friends are?” Luigi asked.

Wario continued exploring inside his nose. And farted.

“Should I use the Stare on him?” Fluttershy whispered to Luigi.

“Maybe,” Luigi whispered back, not quite sure what the Stare was. “Just let me try first.” He looked back at Wario, trying to look tough, which isn’t easy for Luigi. “Are you going to help me and Fluttershy find the rest of our friends? Or will you just sit there and fart until her chickens have a seizure?”

“Fine, fine,” Wario replied reluctantly after a few thoughtful farts. He had overheard them whispering and knew that he was outnumbered if they both attacked him (Wario with brains, gasp). “But this is a one – time thing.” He tried to get up gracefully, but just fell flat on his face. Fluttershy moved to help him. Then, Wario farted again.

Luigi held his nose as Fluttershy helped Wario up. Wario dusted himself off, shoved some garlic in his mouth, and said, “Well, are you coming or not?” Then, he walked toward the street; farting as if he was trying to lead a parade with a personal trumpet.

Luigi sighed. This was going to be a long day. He and Fluttershy followed Wario out of Fluttershy’s yard and into the town of Ponyville.

Not long after they left, one of the trees at the edge of the forest started flashing. A portal opened, and out popped Jack, falling unceremoniously on his rump. And bruised his tailbone.

Cursing, he got to his feet, and looked around. There was nothing familiar about the place at all. How had he gotten here?

Jack shook his straggly black hair out of his dark eyes, and adjusted his bow tie. He needed answers.

He began to walk towards town, clutching an aching behind. But even though he seemed harmless now, he was going to play a huge role in the fate of Equestria.

“Hello? Heeeeeelllllllloooooooo??? Can you hear me?”

Am I in Adele’s house? Ness wondered. Also, why do I smell sweets? Then, he opened his eyes and saw a pink pony with a bushy pink mane looking at him with a smile.

“Ah, you’re FINALLY awake! Welcome to my house! I’m Pinkie Pie! We should be friends, don’t you think?” She said all this in a rush; as if she had repeated these lines to herself over and over, and was trying to say it before she forgot it.

Ness stared at her, not knowing what to say. Talking ponies weren’t too strange to him; he’d seen plenty of stranger things. But a pony with a name like Pinkie Pie who talked as fast as Sonic ran? This was going to be difficult with a capital D. He found himself almost preferring Adele.

“Well? Can you speak?” she asked, waving a hoof in front of him.Ness finally realized she was waiting on him to say something. He said something super witty like “Uuuuuuhhhh??”

Pinkie Pie smiled even wider. “Oh, good! You can understand me!”

“Hey, look,” Ness said slowly. “Where exactly am I?”

“In Ponyville!” Pinkie Pie declared, dramatically waving her hoof with a flourish, as if she was announcing a hit rock band. “Home of the Ponies!”

“I kinda figured ponies lived a place called Ponyville.” Ness groaned and sat up in the bright pink couch he had been laying on. “My head feels like it got hit with a sandbag.”

“Well, you did land pretty hard on the front porch.”

“Thank you for sharing that with me,” he said sarcastically. Pinkie Pie didn’t seem to notice.

“You haven’t told me your name yet,” she said suddenly as she went quickly around behind him, and started a pretty good head massage for someone, ahem, somepony with no fingers.

“It’s Ness,” he replied.

“Ness,” Pinkie Pie repeated, as if trying to place it from somewhere.

“So, I didn’t know this place existed,” Ness said.

“It’s existed for a REALLY long time. At least that’s what Twilight said.”

Ness was trying to think on how he knew all these names. He thought about all the TV shows he’d heard about. Then, it hit him like Ozzy’s Crazy Train. My Little Pony. That’s where he knew all this from.

The reason Ness knew this is since he had psychic powers, he could sense things others could not. He had been able to see a couple of episodes thanks to his abilities to see through time and space, and knew a little bit about the show, enough to know some of these characters.

“Am I doing okay?” she asked as if reading the gist of his thoughts. “I mean I haven’t tried this on humans before. I’ve done it for almost everypony else though; like the time I…”

Ness interrupted with, “You’re doing just fi… wait, what’s that?”

They both listened intently; but Pinkie Pie’s hooves kept on moving around Ness’s head as if they had a life of their own. Then they heard it. It was… snoring?

Pinkie Pie jumped up and went to the front door. Ness got up and followed. Halfway to the door, Pinkie Pie came back; hopping around Ness as if he wasn’t going fast enough. Ness didn’t understand why she hopped so much. He hoped she’d quit hopping (ever notice how close together those two words sound? That’s one of the joys of being a writer; you get to play with words. And look at that, two semicolons in one paragraph! Ahem, sorry, I’m getting off topic. I’m going to get back to the story, just forget that you ever read this).

When they arrived outside, Pinkie Pie realized the sound was coming from her backyard. When they arrived, Ness saw a familiar green dragon, dinosaur, eh, whatever, sitting in the middle of half eaten plants. It was Yoshi.

The very first thing Lucario was conscious of was the smell of apples. He distinguished (deep breath) apple tart, apple dumplings, apple pie, caramel apples, baked apples, apple pudding, apple sauce, apple smoothies, apple crisp, apple cinnamon, and just plain apples. Some of those he had never even heard of before. He would have gagged if the smells hadn’t been so good. He also appleauded whoever was making those smells (the spelling is intentional). He opened his eyes and saw Pikachu under an apple tree nearby, sniffing the air with pleased “Pika, Pika” sounds.

Their smell therapy was interrupted by a “Yeeeeeee haaaaaaa!!” They looked up to see an orange pony with yellow hair and a cowboy hat come running up to an apple tree on the other side of the pathway. The pony kicked its hind hooves against the tree and the apples came down into buckets below the tree without one missing.

Impressive, said Lucario. Most impressive.

The pony jumped so high into the air, it looked like an orange airplane kicking off the pathway. “What in tarnation was THAT?!” Then it looked at Lucario and said “What in tarnation are ya!?!?”

Lucario just looked at her. He was used to overreacting, especially from Luigi, who should have won an award for “Best Goofball of the Year,” several years in a row.

Take it easy, there, little pony, Lucario said, trying to be consoling.

“Ah’ll ‘take it easy,’ when ya tell me whut ya are, and whut yur doin’ here.”

Lucario managed to clear his throat via telepathy and in real life at the same time. I’m Lucario, and this is Pikachu. We mean no harm, and we have no idea why we’re here.

“Another thing,” the pony said. “How can ya talk without movin’ yur mouth?”

I’m using telepathy, an ability that allows me to speak into someone’s mind.

“That’s kinda creepy and a little too sciency for me, but ah guess ya mean well.” The pony held out a hoof. “Ah’m Applejack, and Ah’d like ta welcome ya to mah farm.” Applejack gestured with her hoof to a big red farmhouse on a hill not far from where they stood.

Lucario’s stomach growled.

“And judgin’ from that hungrah hound down there, ya’ll probably want somethin’ ta eat.” Applejack chuckled and waved the Pokémon to follow her. “Well, come on in. Ah bet Ah can whip up somethin’ for ya faster than two squirrels on a treadmill.”

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Come Together

“So, this is Pinkie Pie’s house,” Toon Link said. He and Rarity were standing outside what could be described as an indescribably describable home. Bad logic aside. Back to story.

It looked like a giant pile of cake, ice cream, almost all kinds of sweets. It even had a cherry on top. Toon Link was tempted to get out a fork and see if it was edible.

“Wait, do you hear that?” Rarity said suddenly.

They all listened and finally heard talking coming from the back of the house (or should I say, pile of sweets).

“Sounds like she’s talking to someone back there,” Spike declared.

Toon Link was tempted to clap his hands together and say “Well, I’m glad that’s all settled.”

“Let’s go investigate,” Detective Rarity said; and they all snuck around back to Pinkie’s backyard. What they saw was this. Pinkie Pie was standing next to a young boy in a red ball cap, looking at a little dragon like creature that was just waking up from a nap. When Pinkie saw them, she said quickly, “Hi, Rarity! Who’s this? Are you new? You must be new! Do you know this kid?” This last question was directed at the boy in the ball cap.

“Yep,” the kid said, seemingly unfazed by the fast talking pony. “Hi, Mr. T.”

“Hello Loch Ness Monster.” The boys shook hands.

Just then they heard a yawn behind them. The dragon was looking at them, at first sleepily, then with interest.

“Yoshi?” it questioned.

“What did he say?” Toon Link asked Ness, who was the only one who could understand Yoshi.

“He asks what took us so long.” Spike said before Ness could answer. When they all looked at him, he said “What? I’m a dragon. I can understand all reptiles.”

“Well,” Toon Link said. “What now?”

“So, how’s the Mushroom Kingdom?”

Mario and Rainbow Dash had been walking, or in Rainbow Dash’s case flying, through town. Ponies left and right would look at Mario, stare for a moment at the strange creature, and after Rainbow Dash reassured them about Mario, they relaxed. But after Rainbow told them about Mario’s heroics, autographs started getting asked for. It got so crowded that eventually, Rainbow Dash allowed Mario to ride on her back to avoid the crowd, her wings covering him. Mario still wasn’t used to a place where nobody recognized him.

“Fine,” Mario said. “Where were you raised, again?”

“In Cloudsdale.”

Mario snorted with laughter.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Mario replied, trying to push a bad joke dealing with Clydesdale horses and Budweiser aside. “Where are we going?”

“To Fluttershy’s house,” was the reply.

“Maybe she found my brother.”

“Who knows?” Rainbow Dash was so intent on talking to Mario, that she didn’t watch where she was going. As they neared the next corner, she ended up running straight into Luigi, who promptly lost his balance and fell over a fence into a garden patch owned by a cranky pony, who threw a pail and a stool at him. Mario fell off of Rainbow Dash’s back, and flipped a couple of times before landing in a rosebush. Rainbow Dash somersaulted through the air, and fell perfectly into a rocking chair on a nearby porch.

“Oh, goodness!” came a soft voice, and Mario got up and turned to see a yellow Pegasus standing beside him, watching Luigi, who was trying to dodge fresh produce missiles. She looked up at Mario, and then gasped.

“You’re Ma… Mar… Ma…”

“Mario?” Mario finished, pulling a thorn from his side (see the pun?). “And I assume you’re Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy nodded, unable to form words. New people always made her shy, and from Luigi’s description, he was famous. Famous people made her really nervous.

Then there was a fart.

Mario inwardly groaned as Wario rounded the corner. When Wario saw them, he said, “Oh, well, I guess we found you.” He didn’t sound too happy. Then, again, nothing except gold, garlic, and gas made him happy. The “Three G’s” they were often called.

Luigi came up trying to look dignified, which isn’t easy when you have fresh fruit on your head.

“Hi, Mario,” he said. “I guess you decided to drop that accent.”

“Are you okay?” Fluttershy asked in a panic, trying to help Luigi over the fence.

Rainbow Dash, who had recovered from her collision with Luigi, exclaimed “We found them!” right in Luigi’s ear. Luigi, startled, instinctively brought his hand up; accidently hitting her in the snout.

“Man,” she said, nursing her new Rudolph nose. “You’ve got good reflexes.”

“Now what?” Mario asked, looking around.

“Well,” Wario replied. “We could…” and then he farted again.

“How about we not?” Luigi said; picking lettuce remains out of his hat. Then he whispered in Mario’s ear, “I wish I’d brought air freshener with me if I’m stuck with him.”

“How about checking Pinkie Pie’s house?” Fluttershy suggested hesitantly, looking at Luigi for approval.

“Good idea,” Luigi assured her as he put his hat back on, and she smiled and relaxed a bit. Mario started to wonder if Luigi had a marefriend. He pushed the thought aside.

“I thought you had ‘important things’ to do in your cottage,” Rainbow Dash said to Fluttershy, and Fluttershy blushed.

“Um, well you see…”

“All right,” Wario interrupted. “Tea time’s over. Let’s go to Stinky Poop’s house already.”

Fluttershy glared at Wario as he walked away, down the street. She looked pretty tempted to use that Stare.

“Hey, genius!” Rainbow Dash yelled after Wario. “Do you know where you’re going?”

“Nope,” Wario yelled back, almost running into a mailpony, who yelled at him. Wario didn’t even notice. “I’m following my gut.”

Mario heard Luigi say, “It will probably lead him to a restroom, or to food.”

Rainbow Dash smiled. “Come on Sorry-O. Pinkie’s house is this way.” She gestured down a street a little way in front of her.

Wario, who wasn’t too keen on his new nickname, chased Rainbow Dash down the street, with the latter laughing the whole way.

Mario sighed. He and the rest of his friends followed Rainbow Dash and Wario down the street, following the fart sonar.

I fell through the air for a long time. Being Percy Jackson, I had grown used to falling in strange spots, especially first riding Blackjack. But for some reason, this certain tumble seemed different.

Suddenly, my plummeting came to a crashing end when I hit the ground. Not very softly.

I felt my lungs get smooshed like a meat pancake. For a minute I lay there; making little gasps that sounded like a chipmunk had just performed a three lap 500 meter backstroke.

When my vision finally cleared, I got to my feet and looked around.

I instantly had a wonderful thought. It was something like, “Help.”

For I had no idea where I was. I seemed to be in some kind of candy house. It was like I had landed in one of those areas in the board game “Candy Land.” My fillings hurt just looking at it.

The next thing I noticed was the smells. Like any teenage boy, I love food. I love the smells of food. But those smells were like ambrosia times twenty. It was incredible.

“Wow,” I said aloud. “Whoever lives here must be an excellent cook.”

“That’s what I was just thinking.”

I whipped around, instantly expecting a monster of some kind. What I wasn’t expecting was a regular man. But, that’s what I got.

He was approximately six foot, but he was slouching a bit. His hair was black, and he wore a black suit with a tie. His eyes were dark, and also rather sad, like he had experienced a lot of things he wished he could forget.

“Who are you?” I asked.

“My name’s Jack,” he answered, holding out his hand for a handshake. I shook, starting to relax. He seemed nice enough, and didn’t have a monster aura around him. He was a regular mortal.

“I’m Percy Jackson,” I said, figuring there was no point in hiding my name.

“Nice meeting you Percy,” he said, giving a sad sort of smile.

“So, how’d you get here?” I asked, hoping I didn’t sound like an idiot.

Jack scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably. “Well, I was walking home through the park, and suddenly a portal opened in a tree. I fell through and ended up not far from this house. When I saw the place, I got curious, and came inside through that window.” He pointed to an open window just behind me. “This whole place looks edible.”

“That’s what I was just thinking!” I said.

Jack gave another sad smile. Then, he took a listening position.

“What is it?”

Jack looked at me. “Someone, or several someones, are outside.”

I looked back at him. “Let’s see who’s outside.”

Twilight knew how to make good tea. Shulk gingerly sipped at his tea, trying not to burn his mouth. In between sips, he told Twilight how he’d gotten in her house, which as it turns out, was actually a tree. He was up in Twilight’s room, sitting on her bed (she had insisted on this), and she was sitting next to him, listening intently. Her gaze watched his face the whole time, which made him slightly uncomfortable. He had always been uncomfortable around females, and Twilight was no exception. Often, he would find himself thinking things like, is my hair okay, is that a wrinkle on my shirt, and was that a speck of dirt on his pants, and so on.

When he had finished Twilight looked thoughtful, but this wasn’t unusual for her.

“Interesting,” she said after what seemed like hours.

“Since you read a lot of books, do you have any theories about how we got teleported here?”

“No idea,” Twilight said, and Shulk inwardly groaned.

“What about getting home?” Shulk asked finally after a long, awkward silence.

“I think I have some theories. But, first I think we should find your friends. After all, friendship is magic.”

At that moment, Shulk saw a little basket with a pillow and blanket nearby.

“Oh, that’s for Spike,” Twilight said, following his gaze. “He’s visiting Rarity today.”

“Maybe she and Spike found my friends already.”

Twilight was about to answer, but then they heard a crash from downstairs. And then a cuss word, followed by a male voice saying, “Remember what cap’ said…”

“Stark,” came another voice. “You’re not helping.”

Twilight put a hoof to her mouth. “Intruders.”

“Do you think…?”

“Yeah.”

They walked downstairs in silence. Shulk cautiously reached for his Monado, just in case things got ugly.

Twilight used her magic to open the door to the kitchen, and lept into the room, horn aglow. “Freeze you thugs!”

Apparently she had used a freezing spell; for everyone in the room was frozen in place.

But who was found in the room, neither Shulk nor Twilight was expecting.

Captain America was frozen in the middle of saying something, and his finger was pointing up. Tony Stark had been eating something, and part of a cookie was in his mouth, unable to be chewed. Banner had been running, and now he was frozen in an athletic pose you might see on a magazine cover. Hawkeye, who had dropped a crate on his foot and caused the crash and cussed, had been hopping on one foot, and now looked like he was in a Michael Jackson dance move. Black Widow was simply leaning against the wall. Spider-Man had been leaping across the room to steal Tony’s cookie jar, and was frozen in midair. Finally Thor had been in the middle of sitting down, and now looked like a dog taking a dump in the yard, not a dignified pose for a god.

Spider-Man found this funny too, for he started to laugh. “Hey big guy,” he said to Thor. “Great pose. I’d love to see that on America’s Funniest Home Videos, ‘Thor Takes a Squat.’”

“If I could move,” Thor said through clenched teeth. “This hammer would be on your head.”

“You know,” Spider-Man remarked. “If I had been given shark powers, then that would have worked great.”

Thor looked confused. “How?”

“Well, if you did what you’d threatened to do, I’d be a hammerhead.”

Everyone groaned, even Twilight and Shulk.

Spider-Man ignored the groans; mainly because he was looking amused at Hawkeye’s dance moves. “Hey, I’m a fan of MJ too.”

Hawkeye realized what he looked like and actually chuckled a bit. “Yeah. My favorite by him has to be Dangerous.”

“Mine’s Bad,” Spider-Man stated. “I just wasn’t a fan of all those surgeries. Seriously, did he realize how Dangerous and Off the Wall he was getting with all those nose jobs?”

“Really?” Captain America inquired, apparently not knowing whether to laugh or sigh.

Twilight was looking confused, not knowing what in the hay Spider-Man was talking about.

“But hey, it really is a Thriller to see how Bad he looked at the end of his life. You just want to Xscape from it all.” Spider-Man was laughing like a little girl at his own humor. The other Avengers were rolling their eyes, which was the only thing other than their mouths that they could move.

“Oh, do you know what Michael Jackson’s last words were?”

“I can’t wait to hear,” Hawkeye said sarcastically.

“’This Is It.’”

Hawkeye wanted to slap his forehead in exasperation, but found that he couldn’t. Then suddenly, he brightened. “I have to admit, the position I’m currently in is rather Dangerous.”

Spider-Man laughed. “That’s the spirit!”

“Alright, enough talk,” Twilight said, looking businesslike. “Who are you, what are you doing here, and where are you from?”

“Hey, easy on the questions the…” Spider-Man stopped when he saw Twilight in the door. “What the hell?! I’m talking to a freaking unicorn?!” He tried to shrug, but couldn’t. “Ah, well, my day has really reached a ten out of ten strange level. Since they already have Dr. Strange, I should be Professor Strange.”

“Quiet, whatever you are!” Twilight exclaimed, clearly not sure who Spidey was.

“Just your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.” Then Spider-Man groaned. “I swear, I have said that sentence two hundred billion times. I really need a new catchphrase.”

“Indeed,” Tony said through the cookie stuck to his mouth.

“Are you gonna answer her questions?” Shulk asked, waving his Monado threateningly.

“Okay, I guess I’ll provide the introductions,” Steve said. “I’m Captain America, but my real name is Steve Rogers. The guy over there with the cookie stuck to his mouth is Tony…”

“Don’t forget intelligent handsome billionaire philanthropist,” Tony put in.

Steve sighed. “Tony Stark or Iron Man.”

Tony tried to wave, but still couldn’t move. “Can you let us move now?” he complained. “I’ve got a chocolate chip stuck in my nose, and there are crumbs all over my beard.”

Twilight looked uncertainly at Shulk, who nodded. Twilight’s horn stopped glowing, and everyone could move again. Unfortunately, Spider-Man crashed to the floor with a strange sound like a cat having a heart attack. Dr. Banner nearly fell too, but caught himself on the nearby table. Hawkeye ended up hopping right into a wall, and blinked for a minute trying to rid his sight of stars. Meanwhile, Tony finally took a happy bite of his cookie. And Thor sat down, trying to look dignified.

“Okay,” Spider-Man said, rubbing his sore body. “You could have warned me first.”

Steve cleared his throat. “Anyway, that guy over there leaning against the table is Dr. Bruce Banner. He’s also called the Hulk.”

“Why?” Twilight asked, starstruck at meeting another scientist.

“Hopefully you’ll never know,” Banner said, nursing a sleeping foot.

“That’s Thor over there sitting down. He’s a god from Asgard.”

“A pleasure meeting your acquaintance, miss…”

“Sparkle,” Twilight said. “Twilight Sparkle.”

“Twilight?” Spidey said, looking up from his sore knee. “Why does that remind me of that god awful romance saga?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “And the guy over there who can’t stop making puns is Peter Parker or Spider-Man.”

Peter looked at Steve. “Why’d you tell them my name?”

“Because since we appear to be in a different world, it doesn’t matter.”

“Your name ought to be Stevie Wonder.”

“Why?”

“Because, Stevie, it’s a Wonder you even know what humor is.”

After the remaining introductions were made, they all took turns explaining how they got there. When all of this ended, Twilight looked thoughtful. Finally, she looked at the humans in the room. “Would you mind accompanying me and Shulk to Pinkie Pie’s house? We’re trying to find the rest of his friends.”

Peter snickered. “What do you call a pie with fingers in it?”

“Oh, no,” Tony said hiding his face behind his mask.

“A Pinkie Pie!” Spider-Man said, producing a bu-Dum-crash sound effect with his hands.

Twilight stared at him. “You will probably get along well with Pinkie.”

“Yeah,” Tony declared, raising his eyebrows at Spidey. “You both sound immature.”

“Hey!” Spidey and Twilight said at the same time, both looking offended. Or at least, Twilight did, I don’t know about Spidey, the mask and all.

Out the door they all went, Tony and Peter arguing the whole way.

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Jack and Percy Meet the Ponies

Meanwhile at the Sugarcube Corner, Toon Link, Ness, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Spike, and Yoshi were outside having a picnic that Pinkie Pie insisted on making for them. She had a lot of picnic tables, and with their help, she got them out real easily. Pinkie also made some of the best chocolate chip cupcakes that they had ever tasted. When they had all finished, Toon Link sat back and said, “That was excellent! Pinkie, you should cook for the rest of the smashers sometime.”

Pinkie smiled and said, “I’m glad you liked it.”

“Wow,” Spike whispered to Rarity. “I think that’s the first time she’s only used one sentence.”

“It is a new record for her,” Rarity smiled.

At that moment, they heard two gasps behind them. Rarity whipped around to see Jack, along with Percy, standing just outside the fence, staring with mouths agape.

“T-t-talking ponies?” they heard Jack say. “And a dragon? Also, aren’t those… kids? And a weird dinosaur thing? I must be losing my mind.” Percy was heard to say, “I have never seen more colorful creatures in my life. They make some of the creatures I’ve seen look pitiful. Even Blackjack isn’t as eye catching.”

“Who are you?” Spike asked, standing protectively in front of Rarity.

Jack stared. “Uh, I’m Jack. You’re…?”

“Spike,” Spike said. “How did you get here?”

“That’s the thing.” Jack rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I was walking home, and then there was this flash of light, and, I ended up here.”

He’s not bad looking for a human. Rarity thought to herself.

Spike turned to Percy. “And who are you?”

Percy jumped. He had been staring at Pinkie Pie for a long time, thinking, I have never seen a more bright pink in my life. Hearing Spike speak (that’s fun to say), he snapped out of his reverie. “I’m Percy Jackson.”

“You two have very drab names,” Rarity quipped, tossing her mane. “Take my name for example. Rarity is mine.”

Percy tried not to laugh. Rarity? he thought. Now that’s a name.

Then, it got quiet. If crickets were nearby, they would chirp.

“So, do you want cupcakes?” Pinkie Pie asked, breaking the awkward silence. “I made them myself.”

Ponies making cupcakes, Jack thought. Next, they’ll be able to break dance.

Cupcakes? Percy thought. Made by a pony? They’d be a hit at a circus.

Rarity let Jack and Percy in, and soon, they heard about Jack’s world. Pinkie Pie was amazed at how much cool stuff they had there. Although she did keep coming back to one point.

“Did you have lots of parties?” she asked every thirty seconds. Each time, Jack would respond with a simple, “Yes, when I was younger.”

“Pinkie, please don’t bother the gentleman,” Rarity scolded.

“What about your world, Percy?” Pinkie asked, bouncing around Percy’s chair.

This pony has more enthusiasm than Leo, Percy was thinking. What he said was, “Well…”

Just then, they heard laughter. They all looked around, Percy sighing with relief, mainly because he really didn’t want to explain that he was a son of a Greek god. Soon, the source of the laughter came into view.

“It’s Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie Pie squealed in delight.

Right behind Rainbow Dash, was a fat man that Ness and Toon Link instantly recognized. Yoshi did too, for he gave off a sigh.

“It’s Wario.” Toon Link said when the ponies looked at him. “Or Fartio as we like to call him.”

Jack chuckled. He looked at them and said, “That’s a guy that radiates hilarity. I wish I could be as comedic as that.”

“What do you mean?” Spike asked.

“I tried getting a job as a stand-up comedian. It didn’t work too well.”

Percy looked at him, and Jack shook himself. “I’m fine,” he said, but Percy didn’t think so.

Wario apparently was very tired, (his body wasn’t built for extensive exercise) for he was lagging behind, shaking his fist at Rainbow Dash. He yelled in between huffs, “I swear, (huff huff) when I get you (huff huff) I’ll…” and then he farted; which made Rainbow Dash laugh so hard, she forgot how to fly, and she fell into Pinkie Pie’s yard. She landed directly in front of Yoshi, who gave her an affectionate lick.

“Blech!” she exclaimed, rubbing Yoshi saliva off of her rainbow mane. Yoshi looked down and gave a sad “Yoshi.”

Rainbow Dash didn’t like to admit it, but she had a soft spot. She knelt next to Yoshi and said “Sorry about that. You kinda startled me.”

Yoshi looked up at her with such an adorable expression on his face, that it melted Rainbow Dash’s heart. She almost did something, then said “Dang it! This dinosaur’s making me sappy!”

The tender and funny moment was broken by Wario, who burst into the yard. He looked up at the ponies.

The ponies looked back at him.

They stared at each other for a long moment, not saying anything.

The seconds dragged by. Then, seeing Pinkie’s cupcakes, Wario exclaimed “Ooooh, snack time!” before grabbing five of them and stuffing them in his mouth. Rarity moved away from him with a muttered “How rude.”

Just then, down the street, Luigi made his grand appearance by tripping over a cobblestone and falling down the street. Since there was a bit of a downward slope, he rolled down the hill and slammed face first against the fence. Rarity, who had her back to the fence, felt the “thunk,” and hurriedly opened the gate, asking if he was okay. Luigi got up, trying not to move too much of his body, and hobbled into the yard, Rainbow Dash and Jack both trying not to laugh. Mario then appeared at the gate with Fluttershy next to him, the latter looking panicked. They rushed into the yard; Fluttershy instantly asking Luigi if he was okay, and soon introductions were made. Pinkie Pie went to make more cupcakes, for Wario had eaten the rest of the ones she already had.

When she returned, Wario instantly reached for them, but Rarity slapped his hand and said “You’ve had plenty!” Wario was so shocked that he let out a surprised fart.

Rarity wrinkled her nose, and went to sit by Toon Link and Spike, the latter of whom was blushing (which I never knew dragons could do until now).

“Whoo, these are hot!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed after making the mistake of taking a huge bite of fresh cupcake.

“They are fresh from the oven,” Pinkie Pie said. “I hope they’re good.”

“Eh, they need to be about twenty percent cooler,” was the answer.

“Literally?” Spike asked. Seeing the puzzled expressions, he snickered. “You know… cooler?”

Rainbow got the joke. She made a noise that sounded like a combination of a snicker and a groan. “Ya got me.”

“These are delicious,” Luigi said as he stuffed a cupcake in his mouth.

“Pinkie Pie’s a great cook,” Fluttershy said. “I wish I could cook like that.”

“Hey,” Luigi reassured her. “The snack you made for me when I crash landed in your kitchen was great.”

Fluttershy blushed and looked up at him. Luigi smiled back at her.

Mario looked over at the two as he nibbled on his cupcake. They seemed so comfortable around each other, Mario was almost envious.

Don’t be foolish, he thought to himself. If Luigi does have a girl that likes him, even if she happens to be a Pegasus, it’s fine. Also, it’s amazing he actually has a girl. I never imagined that he would. Then he looked over at Jack. There was something about him that seemed… off. As if one bad situation could make him… someone else. Mario pushed the thought aside. Jack seemed a decent guy. Hopefully, he could help them. Finally, Percy. Mario instantly liked him. He sensed bravery, loyalty, and power, three things that made a good hero. Mario knew that there was someone to rely on.

Rainbow Dash meanwhile, was having a cupcake eating competition with Yoshi and Wario at the other end of the yard. Wario was probably only in it because he was still hungry, and he kept looking nervously over at Rarity to make sure she wasn’t going to slap him again.

Toon Link, Ness, and Spike were whispering to each other. Mario didn’t catch the topic of the conversation, but he could somewhat guess it; since they kept laughing and pointing at various people in the yard; especially Wario and Luigi.

Probably sharing stories, he thought. Ones I probably don’t want to rehear.

Rarity and Pinkie Pie were watching everyone. Rarity looked like she was itching to make something, but she hadn’t remembered to get her sewing needle or anything. Pinkie Pie looked like she was trying not to get too overenthusiastic.

“Well,” Mario said loudly, which instantly drew everyone’s attention. “Where should we go next to find the rest of our friends?”

“Oh, we STILL haven’t found everyone?” Rarity asked as if this was completely inconvenient on her schedule.

“Nope,” Luigi said. “We’re still missing Lucario, Pikachu, and Shulk.”

“Well,” Rainbow Dash said, flying right in front of Luigi, which made him almost fall over. “I saw two beams go toward Applejack’s farm, so that’s where I say we should go first.”

“Lead the way, Ms. Dash,” Mario declared, gesturing for Rainbow Dash to do just that.

Rainbow Dash smirked and flew slowly (for once) in front of the smashers, ponies, dragon, Percy and Jack, leading them out of Pinkie Pie’s yard to the farm. Wario stuffed some cupcakes in his shirt as he walked out. Rarity, however, spotted him, and galloped towards him. Wario ran as fast as he could; farting as if trying to boost down the street.

“Well, how’s the grub?”

Applejack had made a 4 course dinner for the two Pokémon, as well as herself. Lucario hadn’t realized how hungry he had been until he saw the food. And boy was it good.

Quite good, Lucario replied, watching Pikachu eat as if it would never eat again.

“Well ah sure am glad you’re enjoying it.”

How long have you owned this farm?

“It’s been in the Apple family for years. Mah Granny Smith would constantly give me stories about mah relations.”

Lucario finished his meal, and sat back, looking out across the valley of apple trees. Applejack looked at him curiously and asked “Where are ya from?”

A place called Smash Mansion. It’s where people or creatures from multiple universes compete in fights.

“That sounds amazin’!” Applejack said. “Ah’d give my left hind leg to do somethin’ like that.”

I wouldn’t, Lucario replied. You can’t fight with three legs.

Applejack laughed. “Well, are ya ready to search for yur friends?”

That sounds fine to me. Lucario got up and stretched. He glanced at Pikachu, who was trying to stretch too (woo, that’s fun to say), but fell over with a frustrated “Pika!”

“Well, then, let’s go. Last one up the hill’s a rotten apple.”

And with that the three ran out of the yard and through the trees into the sunset.

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Sweet Apple Acres

A fart split the air. Again.

Rarity had chased Wario for a while, but by the time she caught him, he had already eaten the cupcakes. Now, he was walking a ways in front of her, looking back occasionally. Every time he did, he got the evil eye from her. She could make a good one.

Mario was walking in front, with Rainbow Dash flying upside down overhead. They were on the outskirts of Ponyville by now, and were, according to Rainbow Dash, getting close to Applejack’s farm. All there was to see around them was trees and bushes. Mario had long since grown tired of sightseeing, since everything looked the same.

The group was really big now, consisting of Mario in front with Rainbow Dash, Luigi behind with Fluttershy, whispering to each other. Behind them was Wario, still looking sheepish, then Pinkie Pie with Ness. Finally in the back were Toon Link, Yoshi, Rarity, Jack, and Spike, who had found a gem in the road and was chowing down.

“Are we there yet?” Pinkie Pie asked, hopping to the front. She almost knocked Mario over but didn’t seem to notice.

“Not quite,” Rainbow Dash said, not even looking behind her.

“What about now?” Pinkie asked ten seconds later.

“Nope,” Mario answered.

“Are we there now?”

“Still not there,” Rarity yelled from the back.

“Now?”

“We’ll get there when we get there!” Wario bellowed, right in Luigi’s ear. Luigi, surprised, fell over face first in a mud puddle.

Pinkie Pie fell silent surprisingly. Fluttershy helped Luigi up.

“Okay, now we’re here,” Rainbow Dash announced. Mario looked past her, and saw three hills away, a large farmhouse, with a huge apple tree forest all around it.

“She must like apples,” Toon Link observed.

“She’s passionate about them,” Rarity said, still glaring at Wario’s head as if she wanted to karate chop it in half.

“Will she mind if a sample a few?” Wario asked.

“NO!!” Rarity exclaimed, and came up to Wario; giving him a good smack. Wario, in reply, farted.

“Girls, you’re both pretty, but we need to get going,” Rainbow Dash said.

Just then, they heard a yodel. They all looked around, but saw no one.

Suddenly, an orange blur appeared and slammed right into Mario, who flipped a few times, before hitting the ground in an awkward position.

The blur stopped, and an orange pony with a cowboy hat suddenly was visible. From the same direction down the path, two familiar Pokémon appeared from behind a tree (an apple tree to be precise. Surprise!).

“Oh, ah apologize,” Applejack exclaimed, helping Mario up. “Ah guess ah got a little too hyper.”

Then there came a happy reunion, with yodels, farts, and all sorts of noises. I’ll skip to the end.

“Well, who are we missin’?” Applejack inquired.

“All we’re missing now is Sulk,” Wario said, scratching his rear.

“He means Shulk,” Luigi said, leaning against a nearby apple tree. “Where on earth is he?”

“That’s why we’re looking for him lunkhead!” Wario yelled, pushing Luigi against the tree. The impact caused the apples on the tree all to fall on Luigi’s head.

“Oh, goodness,” Fluttershy squeaked, looking over from caressing Pikachu. Applejack’s prediction had come true, for Fluttershy, seeing Pikachu, had rushed over to him and started cooing over him. This made Pikachu slightly uncomfortable at first, but it took to it.

Fluttershy rushed over to Luigi and frantically asked if he was okay. Then she helped him back onto the path. When she passed by Wario, she gave him such a withering look that he farted nervously. Now he had two mad ponies on his hands. Actually, he had three, because Applejack wasn’t too happy about him abusing one of her trees.

“Yur gonna regret that,” she growled. Before Wario could react, she rushed over to him and kicked her hind legs in his sizeable gut. He crumpled up, and collapsed to the ground.

“That. Was. Awesome,” Toon Link said in awe.

“Aw, shucks, it wasn’t much. He looked like he needed sum’ discipline.”

“Can we just leave him?” Luigi asked, nursing his head.

“I wish,” Mario replied. “But I don’t want Master Hand mad at me.” He looked at Applejack, who wasn’t even winded. “Where’s Twilight’s house?”

“All in good time,” she replied. “How about first, ah get ya some grub?”

Mario opened his mouth to answer, but then a burp was heard.

Rarity gave Mario a disgusted look. “How rude.”

“That wasn’t me,” Mario said. “Honest.”

As soon as he said “honest,” Applejack’s eyes narrowed. She brought her muzzle directly in front of Mario’s face, and gazed into his eyes. Her look was so intimidating that Mario found himself sweating.

Applejack stared at him for several long seconds. Then, her face relaxed. “He’s tellin’ the truth.”

Mario sighed with relief. “Thanks for making me feel really nervous.”

“Ah apologize there, Sugarcube,” Applejack said. “Bein’ the Element of Honesty, ah have to keep mah reputation.”

Mario wondered what that meant, but he decided not to ask.

“Okay,” came a voice. “You busted us there, AJ.”

Out of the bushes came a certain human wearing glasses and smiling in a slightly stalker like way. “Name’s Eddie Nashton,” he said. “And I already know all of you.”

“So yur sayin’ that we’re all in a… what’d ya call it… a TV program?” Applejack exclaimed, looking incredulous.

“Well, you Equestrians are,” Ed said. “The smashers, however, are part of a video game called Super Smash Brothers. It was created back in 1999 on the Nintendo 64, as a four player fighting/party game. You ponies were created in 2010 on a Hub Network TV show program called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.” He smiled, waiting for reactions.

“Well, how about that.” Mario said. “Interesting.” He was rather floored, so that was all he could manage. Sure, he had known that he was in games in their world, but he didn’t know that the games were actually made on Ed’s world, or that he had been created by someone like Ed.

I mean, imagine knowing your whole life that you were in video games that were only made on your planet. Then one day, you realize that not only are your games all around the universe, but that you yourself were created in a game. That's how Mario felt.

Applejack was giving Ed the same look she had been giving Mario. She finally declared that Ed had told no lies.

Ed brushed some sweat from his face. “Whew!” he said. “I’ve been watching ya’ll for a while, and all of that sneaking wore me out. I need a rest.”

“Tell ya whut, Sugarcube,” Applejack stated, giving him a friendly smile. “How about ya come with us, and Ah’ll get ya’ll some food.”

Jack came forward. “Hi, Ed.”

“What’s your name?” Ed asked.

“Jack.”

“You know, you seem almost familiar,” Ed said, giving Jack a searching look.

“Yeah,” Jack said. “Ditto to that.”

The two stared at each other for a minute.

“Come on,” Rainbow said. “All this flying has made me hungry.”

“And who are you?” Ed asked, giving Rainbow an eyebrow raise.

“The amazing Rainbow Dash,” was the response.

“You remind me of my sister,” Ed said, looking wistful. “She died when I was ten.”

For a moment, Rainbow felt a stir. She somehow felt a connection to this human. She looked at him, wondering why she felt that, and why words suddenly seemed hard to find.

“Did you know that rainbows are formed from water particles in the air mixing with light molecules?” Ed suddenly said, using science talk to cheer himself up. Now Rainbow felt another stir, recognizing that talk. She’d heard it before, even before Twilight. She shook it off.

“I can just imagine Twilight now,” Rainbow said. She then slipped into an impression of Twilight. “Oh, my, are you a scientist too Mr. Nashton?”

“You know what?” Ed said. “I’m tired of that name too. How about…” he brightened. “Since I like riddles, Edward Nigma.” He smiled. “I like that.”

Now it was Rainbow’s turn for an eyebrow raise. “Seriously?”

“Whoo!” Pinkie interrupted. “I’m starving!”

Luigi gave her an inquisitive look. “You just ate an hour ago…”

Applejack chuckled. “Well, cum’ on then.”

“Well, this seems a nice town,” Shulk declared as Twilight led him and the superheroes through Ponyville. Stark and Peter were still bickering like an old married couple, and Shulk looked ready to Back Slash one of them. But still, it was an adorable town, he said to himself.

He meant it too. Shulk had never seen such a blue sky, or such lush lawn. Some of the lawn, though, was a little too healthy. Just looking at it made Shulk itch to get out a lawn mower. If he had one that is.

“It is quite nice,” Twilight agreed. “I haven’t been here as long as the rest of my friends, but I’ve kinda gotten attached to the place.”

“Where are you from?”

“I was a student of Princess Celestia at Canterlot.”

“You mean as in Camelot?”

“What’s that?”

Shulk, realizing that the Tales of King Author had perhaps not made it here yet, simply said, “Just a story I read a while back.”

Twilight studied him for a while. Her eyes on him made his skin prickle, like she was X-raying him. He tried not to seem too nervous. From his eyeballing, he sensed a lot of great magical energy around her, thanks to the power the Monado gave him. This didn’t help his nervousness.

“You know,” she said finally. “I get the sense you’re a little nervous around me. Why?”

“I don’t know,” Shulk replied. “I know you have a lot of power, so I guess I’m scared that I’ll do something wrong.”

Twilight smiled reassuringly at him. “Don’t worry,” she said gently. “I won’t do anything bad to you.” They looked at each other for a little while. Then, when they realized what they were doing, they looked away from each other blushing.

“Can you feel… the looooovvvee tooonight,” Spidey sang, coming up behind the two. Twilight used her magic to shove him backward into Stark, and the two began their bickering again.

Shulk was also finding the heat a little oppressive. Looking over at Twilight, all she had to do was spread out her wings. He tried cooling himself with his shirt, but failed. He did this when Twilight wasn’t looking, so she wouldn’t ask.

Unfortunately, she did notice. “Are you alright?”

“I feel like I’m roasting like a chicken out here.”

“Why are you wearing so much?” she wondered as if clothes were completely foreign to her. Maybe they were.

“It was the beginning of fall at Smash Mansion,” he said, a little pathetically.

“Hold on,” she said, her horn beginning to glow. A soft beam from the horn touched Shulk and suddenly he felt as if an air conditioner had been installed inside of him.

“What was that?” he asked in wonder.

“A cooling spell,” she explained, all teacher-like now. “I use it on Spike sometimes.”

“Wow, thanks,” Shulk said gratefully. By now, the group was nearing the outskirts of the town. In the distance, Shulk could see a red farmhouse surrounded by trees. When he pointed it out to Twilight, she declared, “Yes. That’s Applejack’s farm.”

“I hope my friends are there.”

“They will be,” Twilight said confidently, touching her hoof on his hand reassuringly; making an electric shock pass through his body, like it always did when a girl touched him. “Let’s go meet them.”

The rest of their walk was uneventful, but the end wasn’t. As they neared the farm, they heard whooping and hollering, and also farting.

“Sounds like a party,” Stark said. “Is it a kind of party with scantily clad ponies?” Seeing the looks he was getting, he shrugged and said “Just asking.”

Twilight looked over at Steve, who was trying not to throw his shield at Stark’s head. “Is he always like that?”

Steve sighed, and that was all the answer Twilight needed.

“Ah, forget him,” Spidey declared, wedging in between Twilight and Shulk. “Let’s just find out what all the (here’s my favorite word) hullabaloo is about. And I don’t mean that Baloo owns the hull of a ship.”

There was a collective groan from the group as they neared the entrance to Sweet Apple Acres, trying to find the source of all the noise, noise, and noise. Did I mention the noise?

Realizing that it was coming from inside, they went inside the barn.

A lively sight met their eyes. Everyone from the previous paragraph was all having an insanely fun dinner. Food was flying everywhere, and Fluttershy was flying as well, but of her own accord, offering drinks.

“Wario, catch,” Rainbow Dash yelled as she threw an apple at him. Wario, who was already weighing his chair down with his sizable girth, caught the apple in his mouth. The chair, finally unable to take all the weight, collapsed, and Wario crashed to the ground. Everyone laughed, even Rarity, and Wario got up nursing his behind, looking a little peeved (the pony cuss word). Then, he caught sight of Twilight, Shulk and the superheroes.

“Hey, look who FINALLY showed up!” he exclaimed. “And they brought more people!” The rest of the smashers looked up and the room suddenly got quiet.

Mario got up first, smiling, and shook Shulk’s hand. “Welcome back, Shulk.” Then, he turned to Twilight. “You must be Twilight. Thanks for taking care of him.”

“A pleasure,” Twilight said. “Now, is there any food left? Shulk and I could use some.”

“Don’t forget me!” Spidey said.

“You ate only two hours ago!” Tony said. “Now I on the other hand ate six hours ago, so I need food more than you.”

“Oh, really?” Spidey said, crossing his arms. “We’ll see about that.”

“Hello?” Mario exclaimed. Finally earning their attention, he said “Okay, so who are all of you?”

After introductions were made, Ed stood up smiling. It was the first time he had genuinely smiled in two years. “This is the best day of my life!”

“Now about that food…” Spidey said, looking around.

“Someone has a one track mind,” Wario declared with a fart.

“Absolutely,” Applejack declared, ignoring Wario. “Now that we’re all together again, it’s time for a party that Ponyville has never seen!”

Jack smiled cheerfully. “You know,” he said. “I haven’t been this happy in a long time. Thanks everyone.”

Mario raised his glass of apple cider. “A toast to our good fortune and for meeting these incredible ponies.”

Everyone echoed the toast, and drained their glasses.

Pinkie Pie, who had heard the word “party” exclaimed “Party?! I’ll give you a party you won’t believe!”

Luigi nodded. “Let’s celebrate.”

Wario farted in agreement. Everyone laughed. Their troubles all seemed to be behind them.

None of them noticed Ed suddenly mumble an excuse and get up. He went to the simple restroom, which was simply an outhouse with a dirty mirror and a hole. As he finished, he heard a voice say "What a day right?"

Ed whirled around, but no one was there. Finally, he happened to look at the mirror and saw himself.

He almost sighed in relief, but then realized something. Ed wore glasses, and his hair was a wreck. The reflection in the mirror didn't have glasses, and his hair was slicked back.

And he was smiling. A creepy, eerie smile.

Ed ran out of the outhouse, laughter erupting from behind him.

Everyone's troubles were far from over.

Meanwhile, in the Canterlot Garden, a white alicorn named Princess Celestia was standing in front of the fountain near the middle of the garden. For some reason, she was feeling uneasy. Something was off.

She shook the feeling aside, and started to walk back to the castle.

Suddenly, a whoosh, followed by a crash, erupted behind her. She whirled around to see a giant crater in the middle of her freshly planted pansies (tongue twister of the year).

Inside this crater was a huge ship. Clearly a flying ship. And it was huge too; it took up at least a quarter of the clearing.

A door whooshed open, and Celestia tensed, ready to fight anything that came out.

What came out was a voice. “Whew, that was an excellent landing from the best pilot in the galaxy.”

“Well, Mr. Best Pilot in the Galaxy, you succeeded in making it impossible to get out of our landing zone. You broke your ship.”

“Leia my sweet, that was completely intentional.”

“Really?”

“Okay you two,” came a third voice, sounding slightly younger than the first two. The first voice had been male, with a cocky sound to it. The second had been female, but a female who was willing to get her hands dirty. This third voice sounded young and wise, but with a twinkle as well. “We won’t get anywhere by fighting. Let’s just go out, and see if the locals can help us.”

“I’m wondering what the locals will look like,” said the cocky male.

Three people stepped out. One was handsome, with shoulder length brown hair, a smirk, and a pistol in his right hand. The second was a female with strangely braided hair, and a sarcastic look to her face, directed at the first man. The third really got Celestia’s attention. He was tall, handsome, with short brown hair, black shirt and belt, with black tights, and a strange sword-like weapon. It was made out of green light. She sensed great good, but also great power in him.

The first man stepped out first and saw Celestia. He raised an eyebrow, whistled, and then shrugged. “Heh, sorry about the mess there, strange pony thingy.”

“Well, this is certainly interesting, isn’t it Han,” the woman apparently called Leia said.

“I’ve seen strange creatures before,” Han said. “But a cartoony looking pony?” He whistled. “Interesting.”

The other young man stepped forward. “Excuse me, can you talk?”

“Indeed I can,” Celestia said. “Who are you and what are you doing in my kingdom?”

“I’ll introduce. My name is Luke Skywalker, and I’m a newly trained Jedi. My pilot friend is Han Solo. He’s the one who managed to crash…”

“I didn’t crash,” Han replied, looking affronted. “I merely had a bit of a bumpy landing. No one’s perfect except me, and I did that intentionally because I wanted to let everyone know we had arrived. The louder the crash, the better the service.”

Luke sighed. “…our plane called the Millennium Falcon into your kingdom. The lady right there is Princess Leia, my sister.”

Leia bowed. “And who are you?”

“I am Princess Celestia, ruler of the day.”

Han whistled for the second time in two minutes. “I am among two princesses. This is royally overwhelming. I might faint if I wasn’t so awes-OOF!” he was cut short when Leia elbowed him in the ribs.

“Don’t mind him princess,” Leia said. “He’s really nice once you get past his large ego.”

“It’s called Self-Confidence.”

Luke turned back to Celestia. “Do you think you could find us shelter until we fix our ship?”

End of Part 1

Chapter 8

By the way, Part 2 will be in various first person viewpoints.

Part 2

Misadventures in Equestria

Chapter 1

Memories

Jack

Nighttime was blooming through Ponyville. A large, peaceful moon was hovering in the sky, shining over the quiet, picturesque town. Crickets chirped. Fireflies blinked at each other like traffic lights. Cicadas made their song.

In Applejack’s home, there was loud snoring.

A party had been raging all afternoon, and into the evening. It was finally over, but the noise wasn’t.

Most of the snoring came from Wario, a fat man with a mustache in the shape of a “w,” and a bad temperament. He also loved gas, and farted at least once every minute and a half, even in his sleep sometimes. More snoring came from Rainbow Dash and Applejack, who were both whinnying like, well, horses. Rainbow Dash was a blue Pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail, while Applejack was a pony with a blonde mane and a cowboy hat (currently off). The three seemed to be having a snoring competition, which was not helping Luigi get to sleep.

Luigi was a tall, slender man, with a well groomed handlebar mustache and a shy disposition. This was probably the reason why he got along so well with Fluttershy, a yellow Pegasus with a pink mane. Her gentle breathing next to him was drowned out by the snore symphony, or should I say, sympony. Luigi was tempted to give their song a name, like “Wake Me Up When the Snoring Ends.”

He glanced over at Fluttershy curled up next to him, and then looked over at Jack, who was on the other side. He kept thinking that Jack looked familiar. His suit, with a bow tie, and his straggly black hair combined with the bags under his eyes, and his depressed look looked like someone who was barely keeping it together. If something went horribly wrong for him...

He shuddered and pulled himself together. Jack seemed nice. It wasn’t fair to have those kinds of thoughts. Still, he hoped that they weren’t housing someone that would turn out to be a psychopath.

Luigi sighed. He couldn’t be mad at Applejack. She had insisted that they all spend the night, even Jack. She had a large room all set up in the blink of an eye, and all of them were crashed for the night. And probably most of the morning.

Luigi wasn’t the only one struggling to get to sleep. Rarity was lying next to Toon Link on her right, and Spike on her left. The two guys weren’t snoring, rather breathing peacefully. Rarity was a white unicorn with an ocean blue mane. Toon Link was a kid with blonde hair, large dark eyes, and a sunny personality that matched his hair. Spike was a purple baby dragon with green spines, and large green, reptilian eyes, which were currently closed. Occasionally, Spike would laugh or twitch in his sleep, which was slightly unnerving.

Rarity gave a small sigh, and glanced over at Spike. He looked so adorable in his sleep. She smiled to herself, glad that her Spikey Wikey was having a good dream. Then, she looked at Toon Link. Even though she had known him for less than 24 hours, she trusted him. Sure, he was young, but she sensed a lot of bravery in him. She was glad he and Spike seemed to be getting along.

The final person that wasn’t asleep was Jack. Luigi thought he was asleep, but no. He was pretending to be; waiting for Luigi to get to sleep. When he opened his eyes and saw Luigi with his eyes closed, breathing steadily, Jack decided to go for a walk.

(First person begins here)

I slowly got to my feet, the floor giving a mild protest against me. I listened for a moment, making sure no one would question me. When no one did, I steadily crept out of the room. I needed some alone time.

As I walked down the hall, I looked around the farmhouse. It reminded me of my grandfather’s old house when he was still alive. I’d come by to see him in the summertime when I was a kid. He’d take me around on his John Deere, giving me funny jokes about farm life, and telling me about some of the things he did there. I loved him, and I missed him.

On the walls were family photographs, showing various generations of the Apple family. One picture showed a huge crowd of ponies, including Applejack, standing with smiles on their faces in front of the very barn we were in after its completion. Another picture showed Applejack, with an elderly looking green pony and a big strong red stallion holding a little yellow filly. Looking at these photographs, I remembered my family before it went downhill. Memories of a life that couldn’t return.

I continued down the hall, and finally walked out the door into the night air. My shoes crunched the grass under my feet as I went to the edge of the hill. Taking a deep breath, I let it out again. The air here in Equestria was so fresh. The air back on Earth felt so filthy in comparison.

As I looked into the night sky, finding constellations I had never seen before, I heard clopping hooves behind me. I looked around and found Rarity standing about ten feet away from me. She was admittedly quite a beautiful unicorn, and I was sure she’d have no problem finding a stallion.

I smiled, and gestured to the heavens. “I’m glad you wished to see the stars too. They look absolutely gorgeous tonight.” And I meant that. I had never been in such a clear evening. The stars were so bright in the sky that it looked like they had light of their own.

Rarity clopped up to me. Her ocean blue eyes shone in the moonlight. “I suppose I was suspicious as to why you were walking outside in the middle of the night.”

I looked at my watch. “Actually, it’s three in the morning.”

“You get my point,” Rarity sighed, putting her hooves next to my hands on the fence.

The two of us looked out over Sweet Apple Acres; the trees blowing in the breeze, the farm peaceful and quiet in the throes of early morning.

I took a deep breath and let it out, content. “Ah, I haven’t been this relaxed and peaceful for a while.” It was true. All of my worries about my job, Jeannie, and various other things had kept me on the edge. Jeannie… I was nervous about her. She was probably worried sick about me.

“What are you doing out here?” Rarity asked finally after another peaceful silence broken only by the sound of the cicadas chirping nearby. I had been staring into the mountains in the distance, and her voice startled me back to reality.

“Reflecting,” I replied shortly.

“On what?” She wasn’t going to let up.

“My past,” I finally admitted. The past I found to be a worrisome place. People always told you to stop worrying about the past. But how can I when everything I did in the past will affect the future?

“I’m sure that Jeannie… is that her name? Anyway, I’m sure she’s fine,” Rarity assured me.

“I hope so,” I said. “Still, I have worries.”

“I’m sure you’d love to tell me,” Rarity said sweetly, batting her eyelashes at me. She was really pretty when she did that. I actually had a suspicion that Spike had a crush on her. The looks he’d give her, his dreamy mutterings when she did something. It added up. She definitely was attractive enough, in more ways than one. Underneath, she was quite beautiful too. She had been really kind to us all so far; just like the 5 other ponies, other than maybe the so-called Rainbow Dash. She might deserve the name Rainbow Brash. Even so, I had been shocked when I had found myself in a land of talking ponies and dragons. With some strange looking dudes too. It was a strange day, but not a bad one. I hadn’t had such a good day in years.

I looked down at a puddle of water. Since Rarity had been nice to me, I owed her the truth. “My life has been a series of ups and downs. Mostly downs. But I’ve tried my whole life. I grew up with a loving mother, but she died when I was ten. My father fell into drinking, and started abusing me daily. First, with verbal abuse, then physical as well. Finally, I graduated from high school, and was able to get a job at a chemical company. My father couldn’t have been happier to see me leave. Shortly after getting my job, I met Lucy, my first wife. I married a couple of years later, and for a while, things were good. I had a son, and a daughter.”

I knew I was rambling now, but I couldn’t stop. My father… It was painful to talk about him. He had served in the Vietnam War for several years, and even after ten years, when I was born, he still remembered all of the hell he had been through, and would sometimes just space out, as if he was relieving his experiences. Other times, he would grow violent, even before my mom died. After her death, he drank. He became a monster, and I never loved him after that. I remembered when I had talked to those two guys at the bar, and told them I had quit my job to be a comedian. That had been a lie, because the memories were too fresh. It was like a scab. Talking about my past was like taking a knife and opening it again.

Rarity, however, wasn’t like them. I knew I could trust her.

“But then, there was a fire that killed them, and my job. I was heartbroken, and fell into depression. A few months after the accident, I met Jeannie, and remarried. I had tried to get a job at various places, but I got fired from them all. Shortly after marrying Jeannie, I tried comedy. Another failure. I can still remember coming home that night…”

As soon as Jeannie heard the door slam, she knew something had gone wrong.

Jack had only started this new comedy job yesterday, saying he couldn't afford another failure. Besides, he was sure this would work.

It didn't.

Jack knew Jeannie would be asking how he was, and he had to keep himself together. He took off his coat and hung it in the small closet. At the same time, he knew that the landlady was watching him coldly, as if waiting for him to do something wrong in front of her.

He ignored her, and instead walked upstairs, trying to fight his cauldron of emotions like anger, sadness, and, for some reason, humor. As he opened the door, he thought he was under control.

"How'd it go?" Jeannie asked. "Did they like your act?"

"Well," Jack said, trying to say what he had to say in the best way possible. "They, uh... said they might call me... I... got nervous and messed up a punchline." He sat down at the chair opposite Jeannie, and put his elbows on the table, hoping Jeannie might have some words of reassurance.

Instead, all he got was "Oh."

For some reason, that made him angry. "What do you mean "oh?" he asked with a scowl.

"I didn't mean anything," Jeannie tried to say, but Jack wasn't hearing it.

"Yes you did," he replied. "The way you said it definitely had meaning."

"Jesus," Jeannie scoffed. "All I said was..."

Jack stood up quickly, which caused his chair to crash to the ground, making Jeannie jump. "You said "oh," as in "oh you didn't get the job?" As in "oh, I should have known." As in "oh, so how are we going to feed our baby?"

Jeannie flinched, but Jack wasn't done. "You think I don't care?! That's all just a big joke?! I stand on stage for three hours, without anyone laughing, and you think I don't..." he started crying uncontrollably.

Jeannie hugged him as Jack sobbed. "I'm sorry!" he moaned. "You're already suffering enough, being married to a loser like me."

"Honey, you're not a loser. And things will be fine. Mrs. Berkiss will let us slide on the rent a little longer. She feels sorry for me."

Jack got to his feet, and paced the room. "She hates me," he stated matter-of-factly. "I see her scowling at me every time I take the stairs." He looked out the window at Gotham, thinking about how once he had thought this city was beautiful. Now, he thought it was ugly. And it always smelled like piss.

"All I need is just money to move to a new neighborhood," he said, turning around. "I mean come on, I see girls on the street earning that kind of money in a weekend without having to tell a single joke. Or blow a punch line."

The two chuckled, and Jeannie smiled at him. "Honey," she said. "It'll be okay. You're a good man, and you'll find a way to get us through."

My voice faltered and I stared at the ground. As I had told my story, the rest of the crew had come outside. Apparently, Luigi had awakened to find Rarity and me gone. Everyone had come outside to find us talking. Upon hearing my story, they had stopped nearby to listen.

Now, when I stopped, Spike said, “So, what happened?”

I said nothing, but continued to stare at the ground. Tears were in my eyes, as the memories were still fresh. Finally, almost in a whisper, I managed to say, “I went to a pub later… talked to these two guys. They were willing to let me help them get some money." I hesitated to say the next part. "It was a robbery."

I described the robbery to them, and the conversation, ending with, “As I was walking home through the park…” I stopped and shook my head. Even after thinking all day about the events, it was still unbelievable that I had ended up in a world of talking ponies. “I ended up here. I still don’t know how.”

Rarity put a reassuring hoof on my hand. “Don’t worry about a thing. I’m sure your wife and soon-to-be child is fine. As of right now, we’ll take good care of you, right?” She looked over at everyone else, who instantly broke out into statements like, “Oh, sure!” and “Of course!” and “You betcha!”

I gave a sad smile. “Thanks everyone. This means a lot to me.”

“So, you were planning on committing a robbery?” Rainbow Dash said suspiciously.

“I liked doing it about as much as you, if not less.” I tried not to tear up. “I was only doing it because I needed money, but now that I’m here…” I gestured around me. “No reason now.”

Then I remembered something. “Also, I didn’t quit being a comedian. I lied with that. Truth is I got fired by my boss at the new chemical plant Ace Chemicals. Turns out, the story of my accident at the lab years before that killed my family got to him, and my boss felt I was irresponsible. He replaced me with someone else. Cut me off. Comedy was my last resort.”

Everyone was wincing. I turned away and said quietly, “Guess I’m crappy at everything.”

“You’re not,” Rarity said. “I bet you’re a great person. You’ve been so kind already.”

“That’s kinda the same as my backstory.” Ed stepped up from the back, and looked over at them. For some reason, I had the feeling that I knew him. Something about him seemed familiar, but I couldn’t place it. Wait, maybe…

“You never said how you got here,” Rarity stated, looking at Ed. The thought that I had had flew away. Crap. I guess I’ll never know.

Everyone was looking expectantly at Ed, who I think was sweating. At that moment, Fluttershy spoke up. Actually, being Fluttershy, she didn’t really speak up. She just spoke.

“Um…” she confidently began.

“Yes, Fluttershy?” Rarity sighed.

“Um… you do know that the Grand Galloping Gala is today, right Rarity?”

“Oh my stars!” Rarity exclaimed. “I completely forgot.” She put a hoof over her head in a show of drama. “How on earth will I be able to make suits and dresses for all of you?”

Grand Galloping what now? I was thinking to myself. These pony puns were going to drive me crazy.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Luigi said, making a time out signal. “Did you say, ‘all of us,’ as in all of us standing here?”

“But of course!” Rarity looked over at him as if he was a complete doofus. Which he probably was, from what I knew so far. “I have to make sure all of you are properly dressed.”

Wario suddenly released a fart that sounded like a question.

“Yes, Wario?” Luigi asked.

“Just want to say this,” Wario declared. “I don’t do suits.”

“And why not?” Rarity asked in a warning tone. Wario didn’t catch it.

“Because they’re too nice. I just itch the whole time.”

“You always itch,” Ness remarked, earning a few chuckles.

Rarity walked right up to Wario with a severe look. “You are going to wear a suit, whether you like it or not.”

Wario farted. I think that’s his opinion on everything.

“Anyway,” Mario interrupted, trying to lighten the mood. “Suits. That sounds great.”

Rarity instantly forgot Wario, and gave Mario a smile. I inwardly was blessing Mario for saving us from a fashion tirade. “Thank you, darling. I appreciate that somepony likes my work.” She glared at Wario, who gave her a charming fart.

Toon Link made a face and walked around Wario, who looked completely unfazed. If I had one word to describe Wario from what I knew of him so far, it would be “disgusting.”

“Alright, then,” Applejack said. “Ah’m sure we could all help ya with your work.”

“Sure,” Spike said, a little too loudly. When everyone looked at him, he blushed. Now I was almost completely sure that he liked Rarity. I wondered if Rarity liked him back. Oh, the wonderings…

“Sounds boring,” Wario muttered, earning a glare from both Applejack and Fluttershy, who were still not happy with him.

“Sounds great,” Luigi said quickly. “I’d be glad to help.” Everyone except Wario agreed.

“Excellent!” Rarity said. “Well, let’s head to the shop.”

“Uh, you mean right now?” Toon Link said in dismay. “There’s no light!”

“Early to bed, early to rise,” Rarity called, already heading towards the fence.

“Ah guess there’s no stopping that pony,” Applejack remarked with a smirk. “Ah suppose we’d better follow ‘er.”

“But we didn’t get to bed until midnight,” Wario complained. He was ignored.By the time 8:30 rolled around, thanks to everyone, even Wario (because Rarity got persuasive with him) helping out, she got all of the dresses and suits completed in record time. She was practically giddy with happiness.

“Thank you all so much,” she beamed, giving all of us her billion dollar smile. “I can’t believe we all were able to do all of this so fast!”

“It wasn’t a problem,” I said, unwrinkling one of the fine suits she had made. “I’m always glad to help out someone as nice as you.”

“You’re too kind,” Rarity exclaimed, blushing. I noticed her giving me one of those looks. It was a look that said “I think you’re pretty handsome.” Great, now I probably had a pony crushing on me. What is the world coming to?

“When does the Gala start?” Ness asked, trying to not get his eye poked out by Rarity’s cat, Opalescence. Apparently, he had thrown a ball of yarn to the floor, startling her, and she was now trying to claw at him. He had drawn his baseball bat, and was using it to keep her at bay.

Rarity looked at the clock. “Around one o’ clock.” Looking back at them, she said, “I need to find Sweetie Belle right away.”

“She’s probably out crusadin’ with Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo,” Applejack stated.

“Okay, then,” I said. “I guess Luigi, Rainbow Dash and I will go find them. We’ll be back in a jiffy.”

“Sounds good,” Luigi and Rainbow Dash said at the same time. They both wanted to go for two different reasons. Luigi was intrigued to meet the new ponies, while Rainbow Dash wanted to stretch her wings. At least, that’s what I figured.

“Good luck,” Rarity called as I went outside with Luigi and Rainbow Dash and closed the door.

For a minute, things were kind of awkward. It was very quiet, mainly because since it was so early, nobo… I mean… nopony was up yet. I still had to get used to the Equestrian words.

I finally decided to break the awkward silence. Looking at Rainbow Dash, I cleared my throat. “Since you know this place better than either me, or Luigi, where do you think the fillies are?”

Rainbow Dash put a hoof to her chin in thought. “They’re probably in the park, inside that clubhouse they built.”

“Lead the way,” I declared, and we followed Rainbow towards the Ponyville Park.

Chapter 9

Chapter 2

Preparing for the Gala

(Rainbow Dash)

“So, what are these ‘Crusaders’?” Luigi asked, his voice cracking slightly at “Cru.” I tried not to laugh, but trying not to laugh at Luigi is like trying not to roll your eyes when Twilight starts giving a lecture. In case you don’t know, it’s impossible.

“They call themselves the ‘Cutie Mark Crusaders,’” I answered, flying backwards to see Luigi. Jack gave me a look, as if he was thinking, “Seriously? Do you have to show off?” I gave him a secret raspberry.

“What’s a Cutie Mark?” Jack inquired. I groaned inwardly. I hate answering 20 million questions, especially from Twilight. But, these dopes were from other worlds, so I tried to stay cool. Which isn’t hard, since I’m awesome.

“It’s a special mark a pony earns when he or she discovers their special talent.” I pointed to my Cutie Mark, a lightning bolt coming out of a cloud. I earned it ten years before, when I performed my first Sonic Rainboom and showed off how awesome I was. I’m even better now, and ponies can count on me to help them in a jam. Or, just to be awesome.

“I see,” Luigi said thoughtfully. I hoped that meant he was done, but there are those times when that sentence is followed by a “So…” which is followed by another question. I begged for the first option.

By now, we were inside the park heading right towards a clubhouse nestled in one of the trees. “It’ll be interesting to meet them. I just hope they aren’t too hyper,” Luigi said hopefully.

“Look out!” came a voice from the clubhouse. An orange blur came shooting from the clubhouse right toward Luigi. Luigi, unable to react in time, was flattened under the blur, which was another Pegasus with a purple mane; clearly just a filly. Obviously Scootaloo.

“Whoops, sorry mister,” the Scoot apologized, helping Luigi to his feet. “I hoped I could finally fly today. I guess not.”

“I’d really love to have a day in which I don’t get hit by something for once,” Luigi was heard muttering. I once again almost broke out laughing. I quickly tried to think of something else.

“Don’t worry about it, Scootaloo,” I said encouragingly, pumping a fist in the air. “You’ll fly amazingly one day. Just watch!”

Scootaloo looked at Jack. “Who are you?”

Jack quickly stopped chuckling at Luigi, and tried to look serious. “I’m Jack.”

Luigi drew himself up a bit, trying to look dignified. I broke into an inward giggle at his failure at the dignified department. “Luigi’s my name.”

Scootaloo smiled. “Nice to meet you.” Then, she frowned. “Apple Bloom! Sweetie Belle! I’ve got some new friends to introduce!”

There was a rumble of hooves inside the clubhouse.

“Oh, no…” Luigi squeaked.

Oh, no, I thought, but for a different reason.

Two more blurs flew right into Luigi, knocking him back over into the grass. One of the blurs was a yellow-green earth pony, who introduced herself as Apple Bloom, and a white unicorn who said she was Sweetie Belle. Both fillies were in a hyper mood today. Even as early as the time was, they had energy.

“Anyway, why’d ya come here?” Apple Bloom inquired; her voice the same drawl as Applejack’s, helping Luigi out of the dirt. Luigi gave a heroic sneeze which made him fall back over, and Jack almost fell over himself from laughing. I had tears of mirth in my eyes, and the fillies were laughing until their lungs and Luigi’s pride hurt. I just couldn’t hold the laughing anymore.

Jack had an interesting laugh. When he was chuckling, his laugh was deep in his gut. When he was really losing it, his laugh was high pitched. It was a combination of funny and a bit creepy to hear. I wondered how it could be creepy. His deep voice had a bit of a husk, which made his chuckle a bit raspy, and more of a cackle, but only slightly.

“Ah apologize,” Apple Bloom said, helping Luigi back up. “That was a bit funny though.”

Not for me, Luigi’s face said. I quickly tried to stop laughing.“We came to take you to Rarity’s,” I finally said after recovering from my laughing fit. “She wants to try some dresses on you.”

“I don’t want a dress,” Scootaloo complained. “I don’t care if it is the Grand Galloping Gala, I hate dresses.”

“You know, that’s exactly the same reaction Wario had when Rarity talked about making him a suit,” Luigi recalled.

“Who’s that?”

Luigi sighed. “You’ll find out.”

Indeed you will, I thought, smiling to myself. He was quite the character. Anytime I needed a laugh, he knew how to make them. He also made some terrible smells. I wished I could stick him at my house in Cloudsdale, and use him as a security system. Ponies would smell the fart, and collapse. Priceless!

Jack finally recovered himself, and got a good look at the fillies. “You know, I think these are the strangest couple of days of my life,” I heard him say.

“You’ve got a point there,” Luigi agreed as he watched Scootaloo try to fly again, but crash on top of Apple Bloom, earning a mild protest from the latter.

“Okay,” I said. “We need to go to Rarity’s. Are you girls coming or not?”

The three fillies all grumbled assent.

“Great,” Luigi said. “Now forward march please. I’d like to get the Gala over with ASAP. So, let’s go.” He started mock-marching forward, but the fillies just stared at him. I rolled my eyes.

“Uh, hello,” Luigi remarked, realizing that his point wasn’t getting through. “Come on. Move the hooves.”

The fillies continued to stare at him.

“I think what my friend is trying to say is, follow us to Rarity’s shop, please,” Jack interpreted.

Instantly, the fillies’ blank expressions became understanding ones, and they followed Luigi, Jack, and me out of the park. Yesterday had been super weird and today promised to be super strange.

(Alternate P.O.V.)

Meanwhile, in a galaxy not so far away, a conference was being held. If you can call a meeting between two people a conference.

Darth Vader was kneeling before his master, who was seated on a sci-fi style throne by a window overlooking the stars. It was quiet in the room, and the only sounds that could be heard were Palpatine’s fingers drumming on his chair, and Vader’s breathing.

“Rise, my friend,” the emperor said in a gentle tone. Vader slowly got to his feet, wondering what Palpatine would think of the news he had just been given.

“Now,” Palpatine declared, cocking his head. “What news do you bring? I believe it has to do with Skywalker and his pathetic friends.”

“Yes, Master,” Vader said. “The captain has located the planet that Skywalker and his friends are on.”

The emperor made a motion that said ‘go on.’

“They are on the planet of Equestria.”

Palpatine’s eyes gave a flicker of surprise. “I haven’t heard about that planet before.”

“The planet is clearly seen on our maps, my master.”

“Very interesting,” Palpatine said thoughtfully.

“Shall we go there, my master?”

“One more thing,” the emperor said. “What creatures dwell in this planet?”

Vader breathed for a moment. “Ponies,” he said.

Palpatine snickered. “Ponies?” he laughed. “This will be too easy. We’ll crush them before they even know what’s happening.”

Vader watched the emperor cackling on his chair, thinking about the ponies. Seriously, ponies? Too easy.

“Set the course for Equestria,” Palpatine commanded after recovering from his laughing fit. “They’ll never know what hit them.”

“Yes, my master,” Vader said before departing from the room.

Watching Vader disappear down the hallway to report his orders to the captain, Palpatine snickered again. Ponies? It’d be like crushing a fortune cookie. None of those ponies could possibly have anything that could stop them.

(Back to Rainbow Dash)

“Ah, there you are,” Rarity said in relief as Jack, Luigi, the three fillies, and me came inside the boutique. “And you got the fillies, too! I’m so glad they weren’t too troublesome.”

“Yeah, they were just little angels,” I heard Luigi mutter to himself, as he nursed his body, which had gotten flattened, as well as injured by him falling over.

Sweetie Belle came over to Rarity. “You needed me sis?”

“Yes, and actually, I needed all three of you.” Rarity gestured to Scootaloo and Apple Bloom, who were trying not to be noticed by hiding behind Luigi. I snickered, and gently batted Scootaloo into the open, which dragged Apple Bloom along behind her.

“Please don’t give me a frilly dress,” Scootaloo begged after looking up at the frowning Rarity.

“I know what you like darling,” Rarity said. “It’s not frilly, so quit complaining or I’ll be sure to give you a nice frilly pink dress.”

“Eeeewwww!!” Scootaloo exclaimed as Jack and Luigi tried not to laugh.

Rarity smiled and then her smile became a frown. “Just out of curiosity, what time is it?”

“Sometime between 12 A.M. and 12 P.M.” Wario declared, with a decisive fart. I groaned. What a weirdo.

“Ooooh, I love guessing!” Pinkie Pie squealed, bouncing up and down, and almost hitting the ceiling. “It’s ten o’ clock! No, it’s 10:30! Or…”

“It’s five minutes to eleven,” Jack said after looking at his watch. “That is, if Equestrian time is the same as our time.”

“No, you’re right,” Twilight said, returning from the kitchen where Rarity’s clock was. “It is five to eleven.”

“Oh, my!” Rarity exclaimed. “You have to all get dressed at once!”

Something in the tone of her voice suggested to everyone that disobeying was not an option. Rarity handed everyone their suit or dress that she had made especially for them, and each person took turns going into the changing room and coming out in their new suit or dress. I sure hoped mine wouldn’t be too frou-frou.

Only two of them complained. The first was Scootaloo, who really still didn’t like wearing a dress. I had to go into the room and help Scootaloo overcome her pride. When Scootaloo finally came out, she looked great, and earned some pleased remarks from the other two fillies.

The other complainer was Wario. He absolutely loathed suits, and no amount of entreaty from anyone was going to make him put it on. Even after Rarity sweet-talked him, he still absolutely would NOT wear a suit. Finally, it took Applejack threatening to buck him all around town like a soccer ball to get him to, not without muttered complaints, put it on. We were all pretty sure it wasn’t going to look nice for long.

When it was Luigi’s turn to put on his suit, he walked inside the changing room with a confident step. He got the suit on, and was feeling really good about himself… until he tried to put on his tie.

All of us heard grunts and struggles and all sorts of intriguing sounds. Mario finally said, “Do you need some help with your tie?”

“Yes,” Luigi gasped from inside.

The room was filled with laughter, including mine, as Mario, shaking his head and sighing, went into the changing room to help Luigi out. However, the laughter died when Luigi appeared. He looked amazingly nice (especially since Mario helped him). Instantly, all the girls in the room noticed, especially Rarity. I had my mouth open in a quite stupid, I mean, amazing look.

Rarity clopped up to Luigi with a smile. “Oh, darling, you look astounding.”

“Uh… thanks?” Luigi responded, trying to look dignified.

Ed came out wearing a green suit with a matching green tie. He looked very nice, and even had his black hair brushed somewhat. I still felt like I knew him somehow, but I couldn’t place where.

Jack was last to put on his suit. He looked just as nice, if not nicer than, Luigi, and got just as many gasps and stares.

Jack wore, just like the other guys, a black suit and a bow tie, with pointed black shoes, and a white shirt with matching white gloves. It seemed to fit him. I saw Ness give Jack a look, as if he thought he had seen Jack before. But, the look passed.

“Is that everyone?” Rarity asked after she had stopped goggling at Jack. When no one spoke up, she said, “Okay, then, I guess we’re ready?”

“Yep,” Jack said. “Now, let’s go have fun.”

We all cheered as we were led by Rarity, outside, and towards what would become the start of our troubles.

Chapter 10

Chapter 3

A Not-So-Normal Train Ride

(Toon Link)

We all arrived at the train station bound for Canterlot just in time. Fluttershy had forgotten to tell Rarity that the Gala was in Canterlot until the last instant. This in turn, sparked last minute panic.

Everyone had rushed to the train station in a mad frenzy. Wario was the maddest, especially since he wasn’t a huge fan of running. The whole time we ran, he gasped, complained, and farted. By the time we all reached the train station, we were soaked with sweat, but relieved, as we were barely able to get last minute tickets on the final three cars. The conductor wasn’t expecting to seat around 30 people, and that look on his face was worth $1,000.

Now all of us were sitting inside the car, trying to cool off. I had actually managed to bring a small, battery powered fan, which was in my bag when I got teleported here in this bizarre land, and clipped it onto a window. As it blew, Pinkie Pie stood in front of it, talking into it and laughing at how strange her voice sounded. Of course, she was blocking any extra air from reaching anyone else, and after some complaints from a few people, she finally sat down, but continued to cast curious glances on the strange object. I smiled to myself, thinking how much of a cuteness overload I was getting from these ponies.

Rainbow Dash was lounging on one of the seats, taking up almost the entire thing. Every so often she would sigh, and mutter something about the Wonderbolts and making an awesome Sonic Rainboom. I had no idea what either of those were, but decided disturbing her was a bad idea.

Fluttershy was sitting next to Luigi in the seat next to Rainbow Dash (who I’m starting to call R.D. I love abbreviating things). She seemed calm enough, but every time the train lurched, she would let out a little squeak, and dive under the seat. Then, Luigi would comfort her and she would gradually resume her spot, flushing the same color as her mane. And I thought girls I had seen in Hyrule were scared of everything.

Jack was reading one of the interesting magazines he had found on a nearby table. Since we wouldn’t reach Canterlot for an hour and a half, around 12:45, I guess he figured he had to find something to do. Rarity was beside him, looking uncomfortable, and giving the OMG he’s so handsome look I’ve seen so many times before. Occasionally she would brush her mane out of her eyes or something like that to get his attention. But Jack was so engrossed in his reading that he didn’t even notice. He had a talent of being able to focus on one thing, and completely turn off to anything else.

Ness was piddling on his yo-yo, almost automatically. Pinkie Pie was watching him, looking like she wanted to try it. Finally, she asked Ness if she could try. He relented and she tried to swing the yo-yo in her mouth. The end result was the yo-yo flying across the room, and bouncing every which direction. It finally came to a stop after almost hitting someone like 200 times. Afterwards, Pinkie just decided to go back to staring out the window. It was a funny scene, but what was even funnier was that Rainbow didn’t even stir. What a deep sleeper.

The fillies were clopping all around the train, occasionally looking over Jack’s shoulder to read his magazine (not that he noticed). Most of their time was spent playing what the rest of the crew assumed was either Poker or Go Fish. Where they had gotten their card deck from, nobody knew.

The train was perfectly serene, other than what was mentioned above and the occasional fart (guess who?). Everyone was actually quiet, even Pinkie, which was unusual. Rainbow Dash was napping now, snoring softly, while Luigi and Mario both had their hats over their eyes, snoozing in a scene of perfect contentment. Lucario and Pikachu simply sat in their seats near the door, their eyes closed.

I, however, could not nap. I was thinking about what had happened over the past 24 hours. In that time, I had watched Professor E. Gadd do experiments, got teleported with my friends into Equestria, met a unicorn named Rarity, and a dragon named Spike (which was actually the name of Marth’s dog), looked for and found my other friends, met a guy named Jack, had a huge feast with a pony named Applejack, slept in Applejack’s house, made suits with Rarity and my friends, and we were now on a train bound for a place named after a horse pun. I was thinking that these were the strangest 24 hours of my life. If only I knew what was to come.

I sighed and looked around the car at the smashers, ponies, and then… Jack. I thought that Jack was nice, but I found myself wondering about his mental state.

And then the ponies. I thought about how 24 hours ago I never would have thought I’d end up in a land of colorful talking ponies. And yet, here I was. Strange? You bet. What was also strange was what I thought was a distant crashing sound earlier that morning. I didn’t know what it was, but I hoped I’d just imagined it.

The superheroes were in the car behind ours, and got loud occasionally. Thankfully, the wall was pretty thick, and the most you’d hear was a mumble. I just hoped they wouldn’t start bashing each other. Percy Jackson seemed pretty cool, but also sad and powerful. I wondered what his life was like. Edward Nigma was the same. He didn’t have the power department, but he was sad. I could tell both Percy and Ed had experienced trauma in their life, and wanted to forget it.

But, the one who seemed to have the most problems was Jack. He had told us that his father had been abusive. Jack had only been a child then, and childhood trauma could lead to all sorts of psychological issues. It made me question something.

How stable was Jack?

The train whistle blew, startling my thoughts, and making everyone jump. How had an hour and a half gone by so fast? No one jumped farther than Fluttershy, who flew into the ceiling and stuck there like a pony Spider-Man. It took R.D. (see I’m still doing it) and Applejack (A.J.) both to get her down.

Luigi got a second place though. He leaped out of his seat and fell ungracefully onto the floor, saying something like “Sure I’ll take more cookies, Grandma,” before finally snapping back to reality.

Jack got a good reaction. He jumped a bit, which caused the magazine in his hands to go flying. It hit the fan and blew off, hitting R.D. in the face as she landed from getting Fluttershy off the ceiling. R.D., startled, pawed at the magazine with her hoof, and ended up running into Luigi, who was just getting off the train. Luigi lost his balance and tumbled out of the train, landing with a thud on the platform. I deal with that daily. When you’re fighting him, you never know what funny thing you’ll see.

Grumbling, he looked up to see a night colored alicorn standing in front of him, humor in its eyes. Its mane seemed to have stars in it.

There was a collective gasp behind Luigi. All of the ponies and Spike came up to the alicorn and bowed. The rest of us, as well as Jack, just stood, looking awkward.

The door to the second car opened. Out came the superheroes, Percy, and Ed. Peter and Stark were still arguing. Peter’s mask had finally come off, and he was wearing regular clothes. All the other heroes were as well. Peter was no more than a senior in high school from what I could see.

“I still think Canterlot is a priceless name,” Peter said, giggling. “These horse puns are gonna kill me!”

“They’ll kill me too,” Stark said. “Because those names are so unoriginal. I mean seriously, comparing it to Camelot,” he gestured to the entire town, “it looks like a ponified version of King Arthur.”

“If you were a pony,” Peter said. “You’d have a funny name.” Seeing Stark’s blank expression, he grinned. “Tony the Pony.”

“Seriously?” Stark exclaimed, rolling his eyes.

“We dealt with this the whole trip,” Percy said, looking partly amused, partly irritated.

“They’re like an old married couple,” Ed stated. Then he caught sight of the bowing ponies and stopped. “Wait, what’s going on?”

“Would you be quiet, Eddie Mashed potato?” Rainbow Dash snapped. Ed’s face darkened, and suddenly, he was in front of her. “Do… not… call… me… names.” He looked so insane at that moment that Rainbow actually trembled. Then, Ed shook his head, and apologized, looking a little sick. He sat on a bench nearby, Rainbow staring after him with a shocked look on her face.

Stark and Peter kept bickering, not noticing anything.

Percy came in between them. “Would you stop arguing for five minutes? We appear to be in the presence of someone important.”

Peter looked at Luna blankly. “Looks like a pony.”

Tony gave him a shocked look. “Really?! Do tell.”

Finally, I walked in between them. “Girls, break it up. I know you like your arguments, but Percy is right. Why don’t you actually see who this pony is?”

At that moment, Twilight noticed that we weren’t bowing. “Come on, show respect for Princess Luna!”

“Princess?!” Luigi gasped, a little embarrassed. “My lady.” He tried to make a graceful bow, but just fell over again. Wario farted respectfully.

Luna smiled. “I know that they are not from this realm. Thereby, they have no need to bow.”

Luigi got up. “Perhaps I could have been told that before I embarrassed myself?”

The princess laughed. “I do apologize, Luigi. It seems that that slipped my mind.”

“It’s all ri… wait, how do you know my name?”

“I know all of your names, because Celestia told me. How she knows, only she knows.”

“Ah,” Luigi said, giving the same kind of expression as me, which was “huh?” Still, I guess he figured since he was talking to royalty, he might as well be civil.

Jack came up and kissed Luna’s hoof, kneeling down. “It is an honor to meet you.”

Luna blushed slightly, amazed at how Jack knew how to treat royalty so flawlessly. I was amazed myself, seeing as how Jack had seemed so awkward before. “And I have heard about you too, Jack. Is all well at home?”

Jack grimaced. “I’m not entirely sure. I hope so.” He glanced at the ground as if looking for some sign.Rarity came over and put a hoof on his shoulder. “We hope so as well,” she said gently.

Wario farted loudly, startling everyone. “Okay, enough goo-goo eyes. Let’s go to this thing-a ma-gig already, before I go nuts.” He made a rude gesture and started walking out of the station.

Fluttershy finally snapped. She flew in front of Wario, her voice still soft but deadly. “How dare you be rude to the princess.”

Wario farted and shrugged.

Fluttershy glared at Wario, power flowing through her gaze. Wario started to cower under the force of her gaze. I was thinking you go girl.

“Will you be nice now?” Fluttershy asked, still staring.

“Fine,” Wario squeaked, and Fluttershy released him from her gaze.

“I guess I’ve just seen the Stare in action,” Luigi remarked as he watched the events unfold. When Fluttershy came back over, he said in awe, “Remind me not to get on your bad side.”

She smiled, and nuzzled him. I had my mouth open in a very uncool look. “Wow, I wish I could do that,” I said, holding up my hand for a high five.

Fluttershy looked at me blankly.

Luigi interpreted for her. “He wants you to slap his hand. It’s something people do when excited.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to hurt him!” Fluttershy said in shock.

“It won’t hurt me,” I said. “Go ahead.”

Fluttershy tentatively reached out a hoof, and barely brushed my hand.

“Harder,” I said.

Fluttershy gave it a nice big tap. Seeing my grimace, she asked, “Too hard?”

Not nearly hard enough, I was thinking. But I smiled and said, “Eh, you’ll learn.”

“Shall we go, then?” Jack asked Luna in a much more polite tone.

“Of course,” Luna said. “Follow me.”

Chapter 11

Chapter 4

Things Go From Great to Bad

(Peter Parker)

You know, the Gala would have been quite great, but we had some horsing around, literally, and we had some strange dude in a Halloween mask and this old guy with lightning bolts ruin our day.

I guess I’ll start where Toonie left off (that’s my new nickname for him).

We arrived at the castle via flying chariots, which didn’t suit well for several people. I was used to heights, but Fluttershy screamed silently, Luigi cuddled with her while screaming “mama mia” and Percy threw up over the edge a time or two. I hope that didn’t hit someone below. Actually, that’d be kinda funny. Jack seemed unfazed, and when I asked him why, he said he used to go skydiving, so he’d gone much higher than what we were on.

Princess Loony, I mean, Luna, had been talking for a while, but I didn’t hear most of what she said. One, too much wind in my ears, two, I knew she was giving a history lesson, so, BORING.

As we were coming to a stop right in front of this really cool looking castle, she finally did say something that caught our attention. “By the way, we’ve had some more strange creatures like you in our castle for a couple of days. Would you like to meet them?”

Twilight’s face broke into a smile that almost looked kinda nuts. “Really? Are they highly advanced? Are they dangerous? Are they…?”

“Whoa, little pony,” Tony the Pony said, patting her on the head like he would a six year old child getting on a sugar high. “Let’s get a little out of the Princesses face here. Commoners need to give royalty their royal space.”

Twilight glared at him. “I’ll have you know that I’m actually a Princess myself. And if you keep treating me like (what’s that word you use in your world) crap, then I’ll see what you’ll look like as a garden gnome.”

Tony put up his hands defensively. “Hey, I’m just trying to keep Princess Loony from going, uh, loony.” He chuckled at his own joke.

“Okay,” I said, coming up. “Let’s not start shooting things at each other. And even though Twily here reminds me of that romance saga I loathe, we need to get on the right foot. So, Tony the Pony, show a little respect please.”

Tony was so surprised at my commanding tone that he said “Sure.”

We walked towards the castle, with me prancing a little bit at my small victory. If only I had known what was descending upon us, literally.

I was so intent on my prancing that I didn’t notice someone rounding the corner of the stone wall. I did when my Spidey-Sense went off, and I instinctively punched whoever it was.

“OOF!” said the thing, or something like that, I don’t know if I could spell what it actually said. But it went down with a crunch on the sidewalk. About that time I realized what, or actually, who, I’d run into.

It was a man, around 30ish, with shoulder length brown hair, a leather flight jacket, and a handsome figure. As he got to his feet, I noticed he had a radiance of overconfidence and swaggered a bit. As if Tony was bad enough, now we had another guy with a full view of himself. Yaaaaaaaaay.

“Aw, man,” the guy said, rubbing his back. “I hope I don’t end up in a wheelchair. That would be torture for the best pilot in the ga…” he stopped when he saw our group.

The group stared at him.

He stared back at us.

We engaged in a staring competition for a while. Then I said, “You must be one of the ‘strange creatures,’” here I made air quotes, “that Loon… I mean, Luna was telling us about.”

“I’m only strange because I’m so cool,” was the man’s reply.

“Okay, Mr. Cool,” Applejack said, glaring at him. “Who are ya?”

The man got up; smiling brightly as if we were a group of reporters ready to interview him for some heroic deed he’d just done. “The name’s Han Solo. Best pilot in the galaxy. My ship, the Millennium Falcon was attacked and crash landed on this planet of ponies. We’re staying in the castle until we can fix up.”

“Wait,” Jack exclaimed, coming forward. “Did you say, ‘we,’ as in ‘there are more than one of us’ we?”

“I did,” Han said. “Would you like to meet Luke, Leia, and Chuy?”

We nodded, and he gave us that smile again. “Great, follow me.” He strutted off as if he owned the entire planet.

Luna sighed as we looked over at her. “We’ve dealt with that from him for a couple of days. He’d be a better person if he didn’t have such an ego.”

“Leggo my Ego,” I said. When everyone stared at me blankly, I shrugged. “Nothing.”

“Hey, slowpokes don’t get to see new people,” Han yelled at us from the other end of the garden, making a ‘hurry up’ motion.

So, not without a few muttered complaints about his ‘barbaric’ behavior, we set off after Han, wondering what was ahead.

Less than an hour and a half later, our group had grown a little bigger. After hearing that we were going to the Grand Galloping Gala, Han, along with Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, and Chewbacca, who was just called Chuy, decided to tag along. There was a lot of talking as we headed towards the Gala grounds, Chuy even offering his moans and groans occasionally.

I couldn’t believe how many people were in our group now. Nine smashers, eleven ponies, because we had the six main friends, the two princesses, and the three fillies, all of us superheroes, which totaled seven, Spike, Percy, Ed, Jack, Han, Luke, Chuy, and Leia. Calculating the simple addition in my head, we had thirty-five people in our group. Unbelievable.

I found myself also thinking about how long it had been since I had first arrived here. Calculating all the hours, I came up with 27 hours. I’d been in Equestria only three hours over a day. All that had happened since then; unbelievable.

“What are you thinking about?” Luke asked suddenly, right in my ear. He scared me so much that I ended up leaping six feet in the air and latching onto a stone arch upside down like a bat.

There was a collective amount of laughter from the group, and I laughed a bit too. Until I realized something.

“Uh, guys?” I said.

“What?” Luke asked.

“I can’t get down,” I replied sheepishly.

Finally, after a couple of minutes, Twilight’s magic got me back on solid ground.

“Sorry about that,” Luke said. “I didn’t know you were that deep in thought.”

By this time, we had arrived in what seemed to be a kind of fair. Ponies were everywhere, almost all of them staring at us in disbelief. But after some consoling from Celestia and Luna, they relaxed a bit. And now, be prepared to laugh, because those smashers made me laugh so hard then.

“Wow,” Luigi gasped as we walked through the sprawling Gala area. All around were ponies in suits, dresses, carrying drinks and food, and doing almost anything you could think of. Some ponies were selling things, from games, to really good smelling food that made Wario’s mouth water. Obviously, since at least twice in the past five minutes he had tried to nab a few of the foods from a couple of the vendors. Rarity, however, instantly made him return the foods, and then calmed the angry red-faced vendors down. Trying to get him to apologize, though, was like trying to move Mt. Everest with a crane.

“Yes,” Luna agreed as we the creatures continued walking through the sea of ponies. “The Gala is one of the biggest events in Equestria.”

“Wow,” Luigi said again.

“Yep,” Ness remarked, closing Toon Link’s mouth that had been hanging open for the past few minutes. I knew something funny was coming, sense my Spidey Sense was tingling.

“Wow,” Luigi said for the third time.

“Would you stop saying ‘wow’?” Wario yelled in Luigi’s ear, causing the latter to nearly fall onto a fruit stand. The former instantly looked sheepish when all of us, except for me, glared at him. I was busy laughing.

Jack sighed and put his hands in his pockets. “I haven’t been to an event like this in a while. It’s nice to be able to come to an amazing event like this.”

Luna smiled at him. “I’m glad that you were able to attend.”

Jack frowned. “I still can’t get my wife out of my head.”

Rarity touched his hand with her hoof. “I’m sure she’s just wonderful.”

Wario farted. No wonder he never got a date.

Can we throw him over the hedge? Lucario asked. Pikachu gave an agreeing “Pikachu.”

“Oh, if I could,” Mario said through clenched teeth.

“’Opefully ‘e won’t be ah bother,” Applejack declared. “Ain’t that right Luigi?”

Luigi was staring off into space, deep in thought.

“Uh, hello?” Rainbow Dash said, waving a hoof in front of him. “Is anypony home?”

Luigi didn’t even blink.

Here it comes… I thought with a chuckle.

“Luigi?” Rainbow Dash called, shaking him.

“Huh? What?” Luigi said, startled. In his shock he tripped over his shoelace and fell over on the floor.

Mario sighed and shook his head. “Are you sure you’re not adopted?”

“I honestly don’t know,” Luigi answered, trying to retie his shoe.

“Me niefer,” Wario remarked as he munched on something stolen from a vendor. Rarity instantly made him apologize to the vendor he had stolen it from, even if the apology was made rather indifferently.

Ness sighed. “That’s Wario. Part strange, 100% rude.”

Luna gave a smile. “Well, all have their eccentricities.”

“Agreed,” Twilight said. I sensed a lot of them looking at me with raised eyebrows. I smiled.

At that moment, I realized that Tony the Pony had clopped off somewhere. “Hey, where’d Tony go?”

“I’m back,” Tony said, appearing next to us. I groaned, because I was kinda hoping he’d gotten lost. The Cap’ opened his mouth to say something, but realized that Tony had gotten a snack. “What are you eating?”

“No idea,” was the reply. “But whatever it is, it’s delicious.” To emphasize this point, he bit into his food, which looked kinda like a corn dog.

I laughed then felt a severe migraine hit my head. I winced, and tried to get rid of it. It went away, but I still felt uneasy. I only felt those when something really bad was about to happen.

“Are you okay?” Fluttershy asked with concern.

I was going to laugh it off, but then another pain shot through my head. It was so bad I cried out and fell to the floor.

“What’s happening?!” Twilight exclaimed, desperately trying to soothe my pain with magic.

“I have a really bad feeling about this,” Han said.

He had it for good reason.

At that moment, a flashing red light flew out from a nearby alleyway. It sailed gracefully through the air and struck an unsuspecting pony who was buying some turnips from a stall. The pony’s head was severed neatly, and fell to the grass.

A collective gasp of horror fell through the crowd as the light flew back into the alleyway to… what?

Silence. Then, we all heard a noise. It was the sound of breathing. Not ordinary breathing, but a mechanical rasping breathing.

“I know that sound,” Luke said, drawing his… what was that called… lightsaber from his belt. That’s when I realized that the light that had struck down that pony had been a lightsaber. But, whose was it?

Out of the alleyway stepped a figure. It was tall, dark, and menacing. In its hand was a red lightsaber. There was no sign of flesh, just a black suit with a black mask and helmet. Its mechanical breathing filled the silence. At that moment, I suddenly had my memory come back. After dashing my brains out against volumes at Twilight’s, my mind hadn’t remembered anything. I realized I knew all these characters, except a couple, from TV and video games I’d played. And the person, if he could be called that, was one of the most iconic villains of all time.

“Hello, Father,” Luke said in a sad and angry tone.

“So, my son, we meet again,” Darth Vader replied.

Chapter 13

Part 3

Star Wars Episode Six: Revamped

Chapter 1

Bespin

(Third Person viewpoint)

Lando Calrissian had had a pretty normal day. Until his friend Han Solo contacted him.

He was sitting down at his dining room table for his typical morning breakfast when his transmitter buzzed. He had just bought it yesterday.

Answering, he found Han staring at him, looking ruffled.

“Han?” Lando asked. Adding to his shock, a pony came into the signal and said, “Ooh, what’s that?” The pony, clearly female, waved to Lando. “Hi, Mister! I’m Pinkie Pie, and I like parties. Do you?”

Han sighed. “Pinkie, not now.” He waved the pony away. “Listen, Lando, I know you have a lot of questions. But I’m about to head to Bespin with a couple of friends. I’ll fill you in when I get there.”

All Lando could manage was a weak, “Okay.”

After the message ended, Lando simply sat and stared at the wall for a minute. This was promising to be a peculiar day.

About an hour and a half later, Lando saw Han’s ship coming into the dock. Coming forward, Lando prepared himself to meet some strange people.

What he was not expecting was for Boba Fett to walk out of the ship. Lando pulled his blaster out and struck a Clint Eastwood pose. Then, Han appeared.

“Whoa,” he said, seeing the two glaring at each other. Behind Han came a lavender unicorn, gazing wonderingly around her. Lando shook his head, not knowing what was going on. He even slapped himself, but his dream stubbornly held on.

Or, was he actually awake? Lando realized he had to be.

“Don’t worry, old pal,” Han reassured Lando, lowering Boba’s rifle. “He’s a… temporary ally.”

Lando lowered his blaster slowly, still keeping his eyes on Fett. He didn’t trust the guy, for good reason. Boba Fett was known across the galaxy for his ruthless methods.

“If you say so,” he said cautiously. Then, he fully noticed the unicorn. “Is that…?”

“Twilight Sparkle,” Twilight declared. “And I assume you’re Lando Calrissian.”

“That’s me,” Lando said, now really questioning his sanity.

Sensing his wonder, Han stepped in. “Yeah, it’s a little tough to take in. Trust me. There’s a whole planet full of them.”

Lando’s eyes widened. “A whole…?”

“Deep breath,” Han said. Lando breathed in deeply, letting his heart rate go down. He saw Twilight clop over to him, and saw her horn glow.

Instantly, his body felt more relaxed. He looked up at her large purple eyes. “What was that?”

“A relaxing spell,” the unicorn replied. “You looked like you were about to pass out.”

This has to be the weirdest day ever, Lando thought. He saw Boba looking at him with head cocked. “What are you looking at?”

Boba quickly pretended to be very interested in a bug he found on the pavement.

To cut things short, Lando finally agreed to come to Equestria with them, but not until he got his blaster, and a bowl of macaroni and cheese. I mean, come on, it’s macaroni and cheese.

As Lando watched Bespin fade behind him, he thought about the planet that he was heading to. Twilight was certainly a character that intrigued him. He also wondered how in the world Boba Fett was alive. He was like a fly. You just couldn’t swat him.

Lando leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, not aware that Boba Fett was watching him, thinking of a way to get the princesses’ money on his own.

Jack was having a dream. He dreamed that he was back at the lab, with screams and cries behind him. “Help us!” “John, where are you!”

Jack rounded a corner and gave a strangled gasp. It was his wife, his son, and his daughter, all burning. “Why couldn’t you save us?” they asked, their voices demonic.

“Sweethearts,” Jack sobbed.

They drew closer, and their fingers became talons. “Come join us,” they said, laughing.

Whimpering with terror, Jack grabbed a knife and held it in front of him. “Stay back,” he shrieked.

They continued to laugh. He heard another voice laughing, but it sounded strangely familiar. Looking behind his family, his blood went cold. In the background was a tall figure with very pale skin, and hair that looked the color of healthy grass. Or maybe it was the light. He did know the figure was giving Jack a big smile, and that he looked like a clown. Jack had always been deathly afraid of clowns, and this one terrified him.

The clown raised his hand, which held a pistol, and pointed it at Jack. “So sad isn’t it?” he said in a husky, but jolly tone. “Just makes you want to die laughing.” He cocked the gun, and grinned a grin so wide it almost literally went from ear to ear. “Say ‘cheese!’”

“BANG!”

Jack woke up laughing hysterically. He found that he couldn’t stop, and tried to get a grip. Finally, his laughs became strangled gasping as he tried to remember where he was. Then, after a moment, he remembered, and relaxed. Looking around, he realized that the noise had been the lampshade toppling over.

Some of the group was staying at Rarity’s house, while the other part was staying at Applejack’s. Right now, Jack, Luigi, Rainbow Dash, Mario, Fluttershy, Rarity, Ed, and the other smashers and Percy, were staying at Rarity’s, while the Star Wars characters and the Marvel Characters, as well as the remaining ponies were staying at Applejack’s. Rarity had recently expanded her upstairs area, and most everyone had a room to themselves. Peace and quiet. Well, not in Jack’s case.

Knowing that he couldn’t sleep again after that, he got up. He tiptoed out of the room, and went to go get a drink of water. On the way down the hall, he glanced at the wall clock. Four o’clock in the morning. At least he would only have to wait for three hours.

He continued down the hall, looking into the rooms he passed. The first one he passed was Rainbow Dash’s room. She had a Daring Do book on her chest, and she looked downright adorable. Even though she’d never admit it.

But one that caught his eye was Luigi’s room. Luigi was lying sprawled, sheets asunder, with one arm up, the other down, one leg to the side, and one leg straight down. And he was snoring loudly with his hat over his face.

Smiling to himself, Jack walked past, and reached the stairs. As he went down, he spotted pictures of Rarity with what must have been her family. The smile faded from Jack as he looked at the pictures. The only family he knew of was Jeannie. And he was worried.

He shook the feeling aside, and realized that he was at the bottom of the stairs. “Don’t worry, Jeannie,” he said to himself. “I’ll see you again. Somehow.”

Reaching the kitchen, he got a glass from the cabinet and started to pour himself some water. As he did, he thought about that mysterious dream. Or, had it been a vision? He remembered that man, laughing at everything maniacally, and who had been ready to shoot Jack. Jack had always hated clowns, and that guy reminded him somewhat of Pennywise the clown from “It.” Except that the guy in Jack’s dream didn’t transform into anything.

Shaking himself, Jack went over to the table and sat down, sipping at his water. As his nerves calmed down, he glanced out the window at the beautiful starry night. He saw several constellations that he recognized, and even a few that he didn’t. Even so, it was gorgeous.

Jack smiled as he saw the huge, beautiful moon. “Luna sure outdid herself tonight,” he said softly to himself.

And so, there he sat, alone with his water, Luna’s moonlight reflecting off of his face, making it look white. What a night indeed.

Ed awoke to Jack’s hysterical giggles, and watched as Jack walked downstairs. Both concerned for Jack, and disgusted that his sleep was ruined, he realized he had to pee.

When he reached the bathroom, he took care of his business, and just when he was about to leave, he heard a voice say, “Well, well, look at you.”

He looked in the mirror, and saw himself, except it wasn’t him. This Ed had slicked hair, no glasses, and was smiling evilly. He was also wearing a green jacket with what appeared to be question marks all over it, and also wore a green bowler hat.

Ed sighed. “I don’t like you scaring me like that.”

Ed 2 scoffed. “Dude, you scare way too easily.”

“What do you want?”

“What I want, the poor have, the rich need, and if you eat it, you die.” Ed 2 gave Ed a honeyed smile that reminded Ed of an eel.

“I don’t have time for…”

“Nothing, the answer is nothing. The poor have it, the rich need it, and…”

“Just…” Ed fought to keep his voice under control. “Tell me why you’re here.”

Ed 2 gave a pouty face. “I thought you liked riddles.”

“Would you answer my question?!” Ed almost screamed.

His screaming woke up Rainbow Dash, who actually felt rather scared. She gingerly got out of bed, and clopped softly to the bathroom door. Peeking inside, her blood went cold. Ed was talking to himself as if he was having a conversation with an unpleasant man. Ed would talk in his normal voice, and then would slip into a deeper, huskier voice combined with a smirk that would have been funny, if it wasn’t so terrifying. Rainbow trembled as Ed continued.

“Yes,” Ed 2 said, giving another eel smile. “Did that answer your question about me answering your question?”

“Stop with the games, damn you!” Ed shouted, slamming the counter, and making Rainbow shake. Despite herself, her heart went out to Ed, the nice one.

Ed 2 rolled his eyes. “Fine. Since you’re being so difficult.” He snickered. “Didn’t your mother say not to yell at someone who’s trying to help you?”

“My mother,” Ed snarled through gritted teeth. “Is in a mental institution.”

Ed 2 gasped with mock horror. “Oh, right. Your mother’s a bum.”

“HOW DARE YOU!” Ed screamed. Rainbow’s eyes widened at how Ed’s eyes looked at the moment Ed 2 took back over. They brightened, not with happiness she liked, but with insanity, cunning, and pure evil. Something had happened to Ed in his past, something that had caused this.

“The reason I’m here, is because there’s more to that skittles pony than meets the eye.”

Ed looked at Ed 2’s smirk. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, that sometimes, the spirit of a loved one can follow you forever. It’s like they’re really there.” Seeing Ed’s confusion, he sighed. “You’ll always be small time at this rate.”

“Yeah, I’m not as smart as Twilight…”

Ed 2 suddenly gave an even more insane smile that almost made Rainbow Dash scream. “Ah, yes, Ms. Sparkle. Ms. I’m-So-Brainy. You know what I think we need to do about her.”

Ed gave a strangled gasp.

“Riddle me this, my friend,” Ed 2 said, drawing himself up with a smile. “I have billions of eyes, yet I live in darkness. I have millions of ears, yet only four lobes. I have no muscle, yet I rule two hemispheres. What am I?”

Ed sighed.

“ANSWER THE QUESTION!!” Ed 2 screamed.

“The brain.”

Ed 2 grinned wider. “She may need to lose hers, literally.”

He started to laugh, a hysterical giggle that made Rainbow’s fur stand on end. Suddenly, he stopped laughing, and Ed said, “Wait, why am I laughing? It’s not funny.”

“Because life’s so ridiculous,” Ed 2 said, still chuckling.

“BE QUIET!!” Ed screamed, and finally, Ed 2 was silenced, leaving Ed sobbing on the ground.

Part of Rainbow wanted to run, but another foreign part said, “He needs me.” The second part actually won, and Rainbow clopped inside.

Ed looked up startled, and then relaxed slightly at seeing Rainbow in the doorway. “What do you want?”

Rainbow felt an urge to wrap a foreleg around him, but managed to keep that down. “I heard you talking to yourself. You… actually scared me dude.” She tried a weak smile, but it looked more like a grimace.

Ed didn’t smile. “I’ve had that issue for a while. I don’t remember talking to myself, all I remember is anger, pure burning rage against everyone. But, it’s gradually turning more into wanting to hurt them for fun.” He shuddered. “I can barely think about if I lose control, and I actually…” he gulped, and gave Rainbow Dash a scared look. “…kill someone.”

Rainbow put her foreleg around his neck before she knew what she was doing. “It’s okay, Ed,” she said. “Don’t think about it.”

Rainbow actually didn’t know she said that. When her mouth said those words, Ed started slightly. Her voice didn’t sound like her usual raspy, cool, tomboy self. It sounded… like his sister. He remembered years ago when he had a bad day, and his sister would say those exact words as she hugged him in this exact fashion. This had to be more than coincidence.

“Did you want to sit with me, Ed?” Once again, it sounded like his sister.

Later that night, Ed awoke to find Rainbow cuddled next to him, her wings wrapped around his body. She’d have no memory of this, but Ed appreciated her reaching out. Still, he wondered about that hallucination of hearing his sister.

He dropped off to sleep again, no more incidents disturbing the two newly close friends.

The next day, everyone at Rarity’s and Applejack’s regrouped so they could get ready to meet Han, Twilight, Boba and Lando at their designated spot. No sooner had they gotten there than they saw the Millennium Falcon come sailing in. Han came out first, still as swaggery as ever, and then came Lando, still saying “Ponies? What’s my life coming to,” over and over again, third was Boba, casually strutting out of the plane as if he was a famous actor coming out of his limousine for a Hollywood movie premiere, then Twilight came out, immediately telling the ponies about Bespin and how amazing it was while her friends listened in awe.

Finally, Boba was the one who broke up the conversation. “Alright, people, ponies and creatures, we’re not here for tea and crumpets.” He said it so deadpan that Rainbow Dash started to snicker, but one cold look from Fett, and she silenced herself.

“He does have a point,” Lando agreed, recovering from his pony shock. “We have to…”

“Throw a party?!” Pinkie exclaimed, pulling out streamers from nowhere.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “No, we need to come up with a plan to get the Death Star destroyed. But we also need to track down the Elements of Harmony. Vader and Palpatine hid them somewhere, and we need someone with good tracking capabilities to find it.”

“Good luck finding someone like that,” Rarity declared. “We’d have to find a being as powerful as Princess Celestia.”

“You know, I really hate it when people forget about me. It makes me lonely.”

Everyone turned at the voice, a voice the ponies knew.

Lounging on top of the Millennium Falcon was a draconequus, in other words, he had the body of over a dozen animals including a lion, a goat, a snake, and a cow. He smiled at them all as if he was looking at a bunch of Christmas presents he could hardly wait to open.

“Oh, hello Discord,” Fluttershy said warmly.

“Hi, Discord,” the other ponies echoed, rolling their eyes.

“Why, I don’t think I’ve met the rest of you,” Discord exclaimed, suddenly teleporting in front of Ed with a giant magnifying glass and a scientist uniform. “In fact, I’ve never seen anything like you before. And I’ve seen a lot.” He gave Ed a searching look. “What’s your name?”

“My name starts with a certain vowel.” Ed drew himself up. “What is the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of every end and the end of every race?”

“The letter ‘E.’” Twilight piped in.

“Correct,” Ed smiled. “Name’s Edward Nigma.”

“Glad we could give you something to gawk at,” Jack said as Discord proceeded to examine him as if he was a mysterious specimen he was looking at under a microscope.

“Discord,” Twilight broke in. “We need your help.”

“Mm-hm,” Discord intoned, sounding bored as he played Poker with himself.

“The Elements of Harmony are missing.”

“I see,” Discord responded, suddenly appearing in a lawn chair with sunglasses and a Sunday Newspaper.

“Equestria has been threatened by evil dark lords, and they’ve kidnapped the princesses.”

Discord was now in a hair stylists chair with a beauty magazine and a hair dryer blowing. “Go on I’m listening.”

“We have to stop them before it’s too late.”

Discord cleared his throat from a floating bed. “Please continue, I’m very interested,” he yawned.

“One of them almost killed Fluttershy.”

Discord was suddenly in front of Twilight’s face, looking quite peeved. “They hurt Fluttershy?” He looked at Fluttershy, who nodded.

Discord fumed for a minute, before getting his anger under control. “Well, then…” he thought for a minute.

Actually, he thought for a couple of minutes, until Ed finally broke in. “Are you helping us or not?”

Discord huffed. “I suppose I must, for Fluttershy’s sake.” He appeared in front of Twilight. “What do you need me to do, hm?”

“We thought you might be able to help us find the Elements of Harmony.”

Discord rolled his eyes. “Oh, those metal thingamajigs are not worth my time. I’d rather turn Emperor Palpatine into an orange. Then, he’d be Emperor Pulpatine.” He laughed hysterically at his own joke, while the ponies took their eye rolling time.

Discord giggled until he saw the ponies glaring at him. “Oh come on, you don’t appreciate humor.”

“Without the Elements, chaos and anarchy will rule Equestria, and the universe.”

Discord conjured a nail clipper and started trimming his toenails. “Sounds peachy to me.”

“Fluttershy might die.”

“Oh, all right.” Discord huffed. “I sense they’re over that way.” He gestured towards the direction of…

“The Crystal Empire!” the Mane Six and the fillies all exclaimed at the same time. Everyone else covered their ears, and Discord conjured some earbuds and an MP4.

“What are you listening to?” Ed asked.

“Metallica,” Discord responded. “Yes, I know your earthly music. I actually kind of like it.”

Loud music started coming out of his earbuds. It sounded like “Nothing Else Matters.”

“Can you take about half this group to the Crystal Empire to find the Elements?” Twilight asked.

“WHAT?!” Discord yelled, gesturing to his music, which seemed to get louder.

Twilight used her magic to make his MP4 disappear.

“Aw,” Discord pouted. “I love that song. Because none of this matters.”

“Can you at least help Fluttershy? Do this for her?”

“I suppose so,” Discord hesitantly replied. “Who’s coming with me?”

In the end, the group going with Luke Skywalker to the Death Star was Mario, Jack, Twilight, Leia, Han, Chuy, Rainbow, Pinkie, Captain America, Spidey, Tony Stark, Toon Link, Ness, Lucario, Spike, and Boba Fett. The group with Discord to find the Elements was Lando, the three fillies, Ed, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, Luigi, Wario, Pikachu, Yoshi, Shulk, Percy, Thor, Banner, Black Widow, and Hawkeye.

“Well, then,” Jack said, turning to the Elements group. “I guess we part ways for now.”

“Good luck,” Luke said to the same group. “May the Force be with you.”

Each group shook hands with the other, or hoofs, or claws, or, whatever. Luigi and Fluttershy were hugging each other, happy to be in the same group. Then, the Elements group set off across the hill while the Death Star group watched them go. They watched until the group disappeared over another distant hill, and then Luke swore.

“Language,” Captain America and Tony Stark said at the same time.

“Sorry,” Luke apologized. “But we have a big problem.”

“What’s that?” Twilight inquired, putting a hoof on his shoulder after Luke plopped onto a rock.

“We need someone to crack the code that will lower or destroy the shield around the Death Star. Otherwise our whole mission is worthless.” He looked around with a desperate hope. “Anyone here good with code hacking?”

“I took coding in high school,” Jack said. “I’m a whizz at Earth stuff, but not with sci-fi stuff.”

“Who is?” Luigi wondered. Then, he gasped with excitement. “I know who is!”

When everyone looked at him, he exclaimed hurriedly, “Professor E. Gadd!”

Mario grew excited too. It’s contagious. “You’re right! He handles stuff like that all the time! How do we get to him though?”

Luigi smiled. “The same way we got here.”

A half hour later, the group was standing in front of the Pixelator camera at Fluttershy’s house, where Luigi had come in only a couple of days before. It was simply rotating back and forth, inactive.

“So this is how you got here, huh?” Rainbow inquired to Luigi.

Luigi nodded, reflecting.

Jack was fumbling with the switches on the camera. “How does this thing…” he got shocked slightly by a wire. “Oh, #$&@!”

Tony raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t your mother say…?”

“Not now Tony the Pony!” Jack threw back, slamming the Pixelator.

The camera suddenly jumped to life.

“Nice!” Mario smiled.

Jack smiled himself. “Just needed the old heave-ho I guess,” he remarked, chuckling.

Mario turned to the group. “So who’s going in with me? I’ll have two people.”

Jack and Twilight decided to accompany Mario into Smash Mansion. They stood together as Luigi flicked the switch.

“Teleportation process beginning,” the electronic voice on the camera said. “Destination: Smash Mansion.”

The teleporting trio were sent into the camera, and the remaining creatures sat down to find some tea. It had been quite a day already, and there was more to come.

Prologue

Prologue

The Time: 10 Years from Now

The Place: In an Unknown Rural Area

Chris J. White sat on his grandparents’ front porch, smoking his cigarette and enjoying the brisk cool breeze on his face. He loved this place. He remembered fondly coming here as a six year old child, with his mother and brother and sister, and sitting in this same chair, listening to Grandma talking about long times past, and how admirable his father had been. Now, as a twenty year old man, he still loved just the peace and quiet this place brought. Sure, flying cars and so on were neat and all, but still, the past did have something that no technology could recreate; natural peace and quiet.

Chris heard his Grandma inside teasing the kids about her broccoli casserole she was making for Thanksgiving the next day. He also heard the sound of his Grandpa trying to start the weed eater, with no success.

Breathing a quiet sigh of contentment, Chris blew out a smoke ring, and watched it sail away across the lawn and over the fence. He was reminded of that scene from The Hobbit, that book he read in fifth grade, where Bilbo was talking to Gandalf, and blew out smoke rings in agitation; hoping that Gandalf would leave him alone.

Chuckling to himself, Chris leaned back in his chair the color of the lush lawn, and closed his eyes. He was rudely interrupted by the sounds of his Grandpa fussing at the weed eater… very loudly.

Sighing for the opposite reason he had sighed earlier, Chris abandoned his peace and quiet, and walked slowly to the back of the house, following the cobblestoned path that he remembered from his childhood. Looking around, he saw the forest, once ominous, but now friendly and inviting, to the left of the house. To the right, he saw the rolling hills, like waves on an ocean, gradually spiking to a tsunami with the mountains in the distance. Speaking of ocean, there was one to the north of the house, sparkling now in the sunset light. To the south, simple farmland owned by his Grandpa stretched for several acres, before a wire fence divided it from the rolling hills.

The path ended near the back of the house, where Grandpa stood. He was a tall man, but a stooped back caused him to appear shorter. His voice was deep and light-hearted, and his laugh was contagious. He loved the outdoors, and often told stories to his grandchildren about how he had shot deer and other creatures in his youth, and even showed off his collection of animal heads and antlers. His eyes were still alive and sparkling, with ocean blue eyes peeking out from bushy white eyebrows, which is why his grandchildren nicknamed him “Grandalf.”

He was busily yanking on the start cord of the weed eater, which made him appear like a dentist trying to yank out a stubborn tooth. He was cursing quietly but angrily to himself, because a few of the young kids were nearby, taking care of Grandma’s radishes in her garden.

Grandalf didn’t notice Chris until Chris tapped him on the shoulder.

“Eh, what?” Grandpa exclaimed, narrowly missing hitting Chris in the head with the engine of the weed eater. Seeing who it was, he smiled broadly. “Well, Chris, do ya think you could help me with this confounded piece of crap?” He pulled the weed eater again with a vicious yank.

To his surprise, the weed eater coughed to life.

Chris smiled at his bewildered Grandpa. “I guess my presence scared it.”

Grandpa shrugged, and smiled as he turned to the lawn and started beheading weeds. Chris sighed for the third time that morning. He knew that his Grandpa was involved now, and that everything else had faded away from his thought patterns.

Turning around, he headed inside. When he stepped in the door, he nearly forgot to wipe his shoes on the mat, since the weed eater had kicked up some dried mud. After doing so, he stepped inside to smell his Grandma’s cooking. She was cooking the broccoli casserole for the next day.

“Ah, Chris,” she said in her slightly shrill voice. She was a small woman, with a heavily dimpled face, hair the color of chalk, and a feisty disposition. As she walked through the kitchen, she limped slightly.

“Are you alright?” Chris asked.

“Cursed arthritis,” Grandma said, not saying “cursed.” “Thanks to that stupid car accident, I have to sit on my ass almost half the day.” She sat down on an old wooden chair, which creaked as if an elephant had sat on it. Funny, since Grandma wasn’t very large. She stared at the oven darkly as she sat and nursed her aching foot, as if somehow the casserole was responsible for her arthritis.

She was quite a spunky woman, Chris’ Grandma. He imagined if someone tried to rob the house, she’d bite the thief and beat him with a club all the way to prison.

“At least you got the casserole done,” Chris said, noticing the food in the oven.

She grumbled assent.

An awkward silence ensued, and Chris decided to break it. “So, Grandma…”

“Oh, by the way,” Grandma interrupted. “There was something I wanted to show you.”

Intrigued by Grandma’s sudden enthusiasm, Chris helped her to her feet, and guided her across the room towards the garage, Grandma cursing the whole way.

The garage can be described in one word, messy. There were old bicycles from 1963, a refrigerator that hadn’t worked in 10 years, board games that could have belonged to Thomas Jefferson, and other such things. The garage was sometimes called the “Junk Room.” Anytime Chris was younger and wanted to get something out of the garage, it felt like going through a maze. He remembered turning it into a game of finding the best path through the stuff, and even made it a game with friends and family. Ah, the good old days…

“Right over here.” Grandma’s voice disturbed Chris’ thoughts. He walked over to where she was gingerly trying to lean over an old dining room table that Abraham Lincoln probably used in his childhood. Behind it, she was attempting to pull out an old dusty box, but couldn’t seem to reach it.

“I’ve got it.” Chris leaned out and managed to pull out the box. Its heaviness surprised him, and he dropped it on his foot. Letting out a curse word under his breath, he limped to an old chair that probably belonged to his great -great-great-great-great-great grandfather.

“This was your uncle’s,” Grandma said with little emotion. “You were named after his real name.” Hearing the beep of the oven, she said “Well, I guess I’ll leave you to it. Let me know if you find anything.” She swept from the room, shutting the door a little loudly.

Chris was immediately intrigued. He walked over and looked inside. He found a book of riddles, a map of some bizarre place he’d never seen before, Equestria it said, and a heavy book. It was rather large, slightly yellowed and rather dusty. Chris found this out the hard way when he blew on it, and the air became filled with dust particles. After blowing it off, he read the title.

Adventures in Equestria: by Chris E. White and misc. Chris read. This book rather intrigued Chris, and he figured he’d show it off.

Walking back inside, he headed to his room for a nap. He’d show it off this evening, when he could read it to his relatives.

That evening, Chris decided to head upstairs early. He wasn’t ready to show it off to his relatives; since he’d found it, he’d read it first by God.

He picked up the book and plopped on his bed; turning on the light and stretching his limbs. Then, he opened the book and read a small footnote.

“This is the story of Chris E. White, and his adventures in Equestria. This story may seem hard to believe, but this can all be verified by simply leaving this book in the moonlight for five minutes.”

Okay, Chris thought. Definitely one of the strangest notes I’ve ever seen. He turned the page and read, “There is a warning. This story can be quite emotionally scarring, and young children should be warned about some aspects.” Chris whistled inwardly. “Luckily for you, dear reader, this first part will be quite comedic, and will prepare you for the horrors to come starting in part two. You have been warned.”

Pausing for a drink, Chris reflected on this strange first paragraph. His uncle was strange, that was for sure. He lay back on his pillow, and continued, “Once again, this is all true, and as you read you may find that you can actually find it very believable…”
And now, here’s my (the author’s) slightly revamped interpretation of the book that Chris read. You probably will have, and possibly never will, see another story quite like this.

Author's Note

Thought I'd try something never done before. Let me know what y'all think!

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

One Ordinary Day…Becomes Extraordinarily Chaotic

The Place: Gotham City, Now

Chris awoke to sunshine blazing through his window. He fussed, because he wanted to not be in school today. Oh, well. It was Friday, so he only had to survive for today.

Getting up, he felt for the alarm and looked at the time. It was 7 in the morning. Time to get ready.

Sitting up in bed, he glanced up at a picture of his dad and his sister. Chris could still recall the fire, the burning people, and his dad’s final words. They all missed them.

Ever since they died, Mom had grown rather strange. She had been admitted into a mental institution a couple of years after his dad’s death. Now, he had to take care of himself. His uncles and aunts would help out, but he still wanted his dad. And he knew he’d never see his dad again.

Since his dad and sister were dead, and his mom had gone nuts, the house he now lived in had fallen into disrepair. It hadn’t been the best before, but now, it was even worse. It was a two story house sure, but it was the color of vomit. Several of the windows were cracked, like chipped teeth in an adult’s mouth. One of the windows, the one in Chris’s room, was broken, and had a cardboard box put over the hole, as if it was saying “Here’s the ugliest house you’ll ever find.” The back porch was bent, and part of the railing was coming apart, as if the very backbone of the house was bending.

Inside wasn’t great either. The kitchen had green walls, and half of the cabinet doors were missing. The floor paneling looked like it was made in 1895, and the refrigerator barely worked half the time.

The T.V. in the living room looked like it was from the 80’s. The picture was terrible, and the sound came and went. But, this was where Chris had seen My Little Pony every air day, and that spot on the moth eaten couch was where he sat to watch it. It was a time when he could get away from the cares of his life, and depart for another world. A world where his dad and sister might still be. A world where things could be so much better.

A world… where he could be himself.

It had been 10 years since the events in the lab. Now, Chris was almost 20, and his braces were on and off. He looked decent enough.It didn’t take away the fact that he lived in a broken home. And that he needed glasses to really see anything.

Chris had gotten tired of his name. After getting twenty billion jokes about his “far from White” book reports, he’d changed his name legally to Eddie Nashton. He got kidded about that name, but it wasn’t as bad. Not nearly as bad as “Brony Boy,” or “Pegawuss.” Ed had been called both of those, and it stung. Thanks to his addiction to the ponies, he had no real friends. He spent his free time learning riddles and tried to impress girls with them, but they just walked off, looking weirdly back at him.

The only friends he could turn to were the ponies. They were in their seventh season now, and Ed still loved watching it. Mainly because it showed him happiness that he could never experience.

He grumbled as he got out of bed. The school bus would be here in five minutes. He rushed to the closet to try to get his clothes on. Ed wondered if he had time for breakfast as he pulled on his shirt. He saw the bus outside, and choked in frustration.

He was going to be giving a lecture at the school today, but he wasn’t looking forward to it. He worked at the Gotham City Police Department, and the principal thought it would be a great idea for a former student to give a lecture on it. But, the kids weren’t very respectful.

Arriving downstairs, he tried to tie his shoes and pour some cereal at the same time. It didn’t go very well, and he fell over several times. Finally, he ran outside with his cereal in a portable container.

The bus driver glared at Ed as he panted up to the door. When Ed got inside, the driver said “A minute and a half late as usual, Mr. White. Although your resume’ from school was far from white.”

Giggling from the girls and snickering from the dudes. Ed rolled his eyes. “Look, I really don’t want to cause any trouble and my name’s Ed…”

“As I tell the other kids, if you want a good education, you’ll get to the bus on time, or I’ll leave you to walk all the way. Capiche?”

“I really didn’t need what you taught anyway,” Ed muttered to himself as he strutted down the bus. His musings were interrupted when he was tripped by some dork’s foot.

Laughter broke out as Ed’s cereal spilled everywhere, andhe fell face first onto the bus floor.

“Oops, so sorry Mr. Nashton,” the dork said, faking horror at his actions. “Do you need a Band-Aid?”

More laughter. Ed groaned as he got up, and shot daggers with his eyes at the kid. Then, he sat down, stomach growling.

“You’ll have to clean that up, Mr. White,” the bus driver said.

Of course, Ed said to himself. Because life never works how you want it. He pulled out a book of riddles, and started reading them. He ended up getting every question right.

To be honest, Ed was actually quite smart. He often didn’t do well because he didn’t want to. He was afraid that if he gave away too much, the others would get jealous, and then violent.

“At least I can do well on riddles,” Ed whispered quietly to himself as the bus jerked like a buffalo on drugs down the street.

Later, Ed was in class studying history at his own college. Ed had never really been interested in history and he always got the teachers who seemed to be about as interested as he was. His teacher now for his class was a man who could’ve been close friends with Thomas Jefferson. He was fat, balding, and had a voice that could put you to sleep in ten seconds.

Right now he was lecturing, if you could call droning lecturing, on how important the Battle of Gettysburg was. Ed kept thinking to himself that this guy probably fought in Gettysburg with how many facts he was pulling off. If only they were more than just facts.

¾ of the class were asleep. The rest, including Ed, dozed off before snapping back awake, then going into a doze again. Just as the teacher asked for a student to repeat what he’d just said, the bell mercifully rang.

“Remember students,” his voice said as the students packed their things to leave. “I want your papers on Gettysburg in two weeks. I’m looking forward to reading them.” He sounded about as enthusiastic as if he had said he was picking up milk at the store.

As Ed headed outside with his classmates for a break, his friend Josh snickered. “He makes War and Peace more interesting than his class.”

Ed only nodded, aware that a dark cloud was building up in the distance. Seeing the direction of his gaze, Josh said “Well, hopefully that will wait until we’re home. Then we can have a whole weekend to ourselves in the rain.”

Ed was looking forward to the weekend too. Not because of family time, but because he could watch MLP by himself. Little did he know that he was going to be more immersed in MLP than any other person.

By the time Ed’s classes finished, rain had started to trickle on the roof. Unfortunately, that trickle became a downpour just after their final class, science, Ed’s favorite, finished. It showed no signs of stopping either.

Ed walked outside to discover a big group of students hanging around under the school awning. Ed tried to walk by them unnoticed, groaning silently. Why couldn’t the rain have waited?

As he arranged his books, and prepared to head to his car to leave for the police department, they were suddenly picked up out of his hand. Looking up, he saw Kurt, and his twin brother, Curtis, both bullies, and both not too much in the way of brains. Both were tall, buff, with dirty brown hair and stupid expressions. Curtis was swinging Ed’s bag around as if was a deer’s head he got from hunting.

He dug around inside and picked up Ed’s notebook. On the cover were pictures of Rainbow Dash, Ed’s favorite pony.

“Aw,” Kurt said, making an ugly doll face. “Like your ponies Brony Boy?”

The group erupted in laughter.

“Give me my books, Curtis,” Ed said through gritted teeth.

“Or what?” was the response. “You’ll send your Pegasus friends after me?”

“Leave him alone,” Josh said, trying to look tough.

“Back off,” Kurt said, knocking Josh down with a punch in the stomach.

That was the last straw. Ed lunged forward, and grabbed for his books with a roar of rage. Curtis swung the book bag around, and hit Ed in the head with it.

Boom. The thunder rumbled ominously overhead.

Ed fell into the pavement outside of the shelter, the whole group laughing hysterically. Ed’s Rainbow Dash notebook fell next to him on the pavement, and he involuntarily grabbed it.

Boom.

“Aw, did Brony Boy get wet? Maybe a Pegasus can dry you off.”

BOOM!

Ed got to his feet, eyes red from rage. Trying to contain himself, he deliberately walked to his car, trying to ignore the taunts, the laughter.

No one noticed a purple beam, or whatever it was, coming down from the sky. It was heading directly for the spot where Ed stood, trying angrily to unlock his car.

Josh was the first to notice. “Uh, guys?” he tried to say, but no one heard him.

After another couple of attempts, he screamed out “GUYS!”

“WHAT?!” everyone else yelled.

Josh weakly pointed up to the sky, and everyone’s eyes followed.

If you were to see their faces, you might have seen those gears turning as they tried to process the phenomena unfolding before them, and then slowly processed where it was going.

It’s funny how quickly they went from taunting Ed, to screaming at Ed to move. Ed at first ignored them, thinking they were just pulling another elaborate prank.

Finally, after they called his name five times, he looked up at them. “Would you leave me alone?!” Seeing where they were looking, his eyes went upward. And then, they widened as they saw the beam; almost on him.

Ed knew there was no chance he could get away. Nevertheless, he tried. He attempted to dart out of the way like a rabbit, but the beam was faster.

The last sign seen of Ed was of him screaming as the beam overtook him with a blinding flash. When everyone’s sight returned, there was only a crater where Ed had been. Ed’s car was half gone.

Hopefully everyone liked pee soup. They made a lot of it.

The morning began like usual for Luigi. He woke up with the sun glaring through the window in his dormitory. He turned off his alarm (which played the Luigi’s Mansion theme), and glanced at the green curtain hanging near the window. He wanted to close it, but he had a huge pile of pillows on his bed (he found lots of pillows comforting). But, after a huge struggle, he finally overcame Mt. Pillowmanjaro, and closed the curtain. After he brushed his teeth and combed his mustache, he put on his clothes and hat, and opened the door. When he did, he smelled something really good. He followed his nose down the hall, and went down two flights of stairs. He arrived in the great hall to Mario’s fresh bacon, pancakes, and eggs sizzling on plates set out for all of the smashers already (the rest had already arrived; Luigi always slept late).

“Bett-a hurry,” Mario said, mainly directing this to Luigi. “The professor doesn’t like-a to be-a kept-a waiting.”

“True,” Falco agreed, dousing his huge pile of pancakes in maple syrup, before eating half of it in one gulp.

“Isn’t that unhealthy?” Peach asked Captain Falcon.

“Huh, some people just can’t eat healthy,” the captain replied as he simultaneously poured a large amount of syrup and butter on his pancakes.

After the smashers finished eating, they rushed to E. Gadd’s lab. His lab was a little ways down from the mansion, about half a mile or so. It was at the top of a hill overlooking Smash Mansion on one side, and the ocean in the distance on the other. The smashers hurried inside and went downstairs, not noticing a strange looking cloud approaching in the distance, rumbling with thunder.The downstairs room was a complete definition of the word “cluttered.” It had machine parts, tools, rags, and all sorts of things all scattered around the room. There were so many unfinished machines in there; you could fill up two semi trucks with them.

E. Gadd was at the other end of the room, his coat somehow spotlessly clean, fiddling on his computer, and muttering random things to himself. He didn’t even notice the smashers until Mewtwo tapped him on the shoulder.

“Ah,” he said without looking up. “You’re just in time.” He finally set down his wrench, and walked over to the smashers. Lucario asked using his telepathy, Are you sure it will work?

“Yes, of course.” E. Gadd said in a tone of voice that suggested otherwise. “But just in case…”He gestured to Dr. Mario. “Could you monitor this computer for me? It keeps track of the camera’s condition.”

“Of-a course-a.” Dr. Mario replied as someone said “monitor the monitor” with a laugh.

“We’ll test out plants first, seeing as there are a lot of plants around here, losing a few won’t be a bummer,” the professor said, beginning to type on his keyboard. The camera began to spark to life. Luigi stepped back even farther than everyone else, not wanting to be the subject again.

The professor hit a button and a beam hit a potted plant. The plant split into pixels and disappeared inside the camera.

“Looks-a good,” Dr. Mario declared as he looked at the screen. “Ready to-a go.”

The professor hit another button, and the plant appeared in another corner of the room, coming together and hitting the floor with a crash.

“Oops,” the professor said. “Might have to work on that landing.”

“Not bad,” Lucas said thoughtfully. “How much longer until it’s fully ready?”

“Maybe a week or two,” was the reply, as the professor got a robot to clean up the potted plant fragments. “Hopefully sooner than that. So let’s try again.”

After the third plant, the professor was getting annoyed. The machine seemed to not want to work at all, which was really not desirable for an inventor. At one point, the machine suddenly jammed, and the professor looked ready to throw it off the roof of Smash Mansion.

“Just kick it,” Bowser Jr. said. “It usually works.”

“Usually?” Marth asked doubtfully.

“No,” the professor finally muttered to no one in particular. “Probably just a loose wire.”

“Let me look at it,” Bowser Jr. said in a tone which suggested woe to whoever had any objection to this.

“Go ahead then,” E. Gadd agreed.

Bowser Jr. got off of his Junior Clown Car and walked over to the machine. He fiddled around with it for a minute before asking, “Which wires need to be connected?”

“The red wire need to be connected to the yellow one,” the professor answered.

“Funny,” the small Koopa muttered. “The wires are all perfectly fine and connected correctly.”“Well,” Little Mac declared. “I guess it’s just being fussy?”

“Apparently so,” the professor said through clenched teeth. “Let’s put it back together and try again.”

The experiments continued for a while, with more shattered plants, and the addition of cursing (guess who?). Finally, it was lunchtime, and everyone headed to the great hall.

“Do you think he’ll ever get that to work?” Kirby asked as he inhaled an entire cheeseburger with one gulp.

“Oook,” Donkey Kong replied as he ate a banana and cheese sandwich.

Wario had a quintuplet decker cheeseburger that he was trying to stuff in his mouth all at once. It had meat, cheese, lettuce, garlic, onion, and so many other toppings that I don’t know how it could have been good. Lucina didn’t think so either, for as soon as she came by him with her lunch tray, she made a face and went to the other side of the room.“What?” Wario asked, completely oblivious to the fact that ketchup was dribbling down his chin. He let out a loud belch, and looked around again.Interesting that no one’s sitting around me. Is there something wrong with the seat? He shook his head in confusion and also gave a fart of contemplation before going back to trying to shove his cheeseburger down his gullet.

After lunch was over, the smashers headed back to the lab. The professor was waiting for them; looking a little miffed (that’s one of my favorite words).

“What’s up?” Ness asked as soon as he saw the expression on E. Gadd’s face.

“I still can’t get this confounded thing to work,” was the reply.

“Don’t worry about it,” Robin said. “As a certain character said in a Disney film, ‘just keep swimming,’”

“I want to forget that movie,” Cloud groaned.

Just then, they heard a rumble.

“That wasn’t me,” Wario complained when they all looked at him.

“No, he’s right,” Palutena said as she looked outside. “There’s a storm coming in.”

She was correct. The dark cloud was billowing overhead. Another rumble echoed through the valley as if the storm was going “Are you scared of me yet?”

“Well then,” the professor said. “Looks like we’re going to have to hurry.” He turned to Dr. Mario. “How’s the camera?”

“It’s-a good-a so far-a.”

“That’s great. Let’s continue the experiments, and hopefully we can finish before…”

Before the professor could finish, lightning flashed outside, and the next instant, the power went out. Suddenly, the smashers found themselves in darkness.

“Don’t panic,” came the professor’s voice. “I think I have a flashlight somewhere.”

Then there came a gibberish conversation like this.

“Who’s standing on my foot?”

“Ow, who poked me?”

“QUIET!”

“Okay, who just slapped me?”

“Sorry, wherever you are.”

“I’m over here.”

“Where?”

“Here.”

“Where?”

“HERE!”

“Can someone be quiet for two seconds?!”

Two seconds went by. Then, the confusion started again when someone started trying to open a candy wrapper.

“What’s that?”

“It’s some candy I got, and it’s mine.”

“Is that a Hershey bar?”

“Yes, but it’s mine.”

“Can I have the Hershey bar?”

“No.”

“Half of a Hershey bar?”

“No.”

“A quarter?”

“No.”

“An eighth?”

“No.”

“A sixteenth?”

No response.

“Hello?”

“Oh, sorry, I’ve already eaten the bar.”

“I want a Hershey bar!”

“Well, if you want one, then by all means, walk out of this stupid lab, and get into the Great Hall. The Hershey bars should be on the candy table. But, no, I will not give you a Hershey bar. If you want a Hershey bar, then you should have gotten your own.”

“WOULD YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT THE STUPID HERSHEY BAR!!?”

Then, something strange happened.

The Pixelator started to glow. Now, usually that isn’t strange. But two things definitely put this on the Strange Meter.

It shouldn’t have been on because the power was out. And it was glowing with a purple aura, not green.

“Uh, is anyone wondering why that thing is glowing?”

“I’m wondering about why you didn’t give me a Hershey bar.”

“WOULD YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THE HERSHEY BAR!!?”

The Pixelator at that moment, started to glow brighter. Red alarms were going off.The professor ran forward, but was stopped by an invisible force. The building started to rumble, and debris rained from the ceiling.

Almost all the smashers rushed for the stairs, but Mario, Luigi, Lucario, Pikachu, Wario, Toon Link, Ness, Shulk and Yoshi were trying to help the professor. The professor had been trapped by debris, and Wario’s strength definitely came in handy.

At that moment, the Pixelator looked like it was about to blow.“Run!” Toon Link yelled, but no one needed to be told this. The professor rushed out of the room, and the remaining smashers followed him up the stairs.

Suddenly, two things happened at once. E. Gadd made it up the stairs, but the smashers weren’t so lucky. The stairs suddenly collapsed and the smashers fell. They never made it to the ground, however. The Pixelator released a beam that caught them midair, and the smashers disappeared inside the camera; the camera getting smashed by debris less than five seconds later.

When E. Gadd made it outside in the rain, the other smashers didn’t need to ask to know the others never made it. They stood in solemn silence, mourning the deaths of good fighters (except for maybe Wario).

What they didn’t know was that those very smashers were very much alive. But those smashers were in a very different place than Smash Mansion.

The Place: Stark Tower

It wasn’t every day a purple portal opened in your living room.

The Avengers had seen plenty of strange things before, but this was on the bizarre level.

They had all been calmly watching the news in Tony’s living room. Well, all except Spider-Man, who was playing on his phone. No telling where he kept the thing.

Finally, Spider-Man stood up and stretched. “Well, I’m gonna swing around town. Need to stretch my limbs.” He went to the window and started to jump out.

Until a portal opened right in front of him.

“What the…” was all he could manage. The rest was just incoherent babbling as he sailed into the portal.

The rest of the Avengers stood up.

“I think we should follow him,” Tony said, now in his Iron Man suit.

“Well…” Steve began before realizing that Tony had just leapt into the portal too.

Face palming himself he lept in after Tony, the rest of the team behind him.

The Place: Manhattan

Where to begin?

First off, I’m a half blood. Second off, I’m a son of Poseidon, the Greek sea god. Third and last, my name is Percy Jackson.

At the time I begin this telling, I was sitting at a McDonald’s by myself, having some alone time with a good old cheeseburger. Right as I was about to put some ketchup on it because they forgot again, my girlfriend Annabeth suddenly appeared with a “poof.”

I nearly fell out of my chair, and ended up decorating myself in ketchup. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her mutter “Seaweed brain.”

Yeah, I thought to myself. Real cool way to impress your girl. What will happen next?

I got my answer when Annabeth gave me one of her cute frowns. “Eating lunch without me, Percy?”

“I thought you were with Chiron until tomorrow,” I said, trying to wipe ketchup off of myself with no luck. I’m so good at wooing the ladies.

“He decided that it was good enough,” Annabeth replied, stuffing her Yankee hat that made her invisible inside of her backpack. Brushing her blonde hair out of her eyes, she sat down across from me.

I tried to finish my burger, but it was hard to eat with your girlfriend sitting staring at you the whole time. It made me uncomfortable, and I almost lost half my burger at one point because I was trying so hard not to look stupid. Those are the times when I look most stupid. Lucky me.

Annabeth pointed at my wrapper. “You lost a tomato, a pickle, and some mayo.”

“I KNOW!” I said a little loudly, partly out of stress.

Annabeth chuckled. “Am I making you freak out, seaweed brain?”

“MAYBE?!”

“Just shows you like me.”

I couldn’t argue with that. “I suppose so.” Finally finishing my most stressful lunch ever, I stood up to go.

“Mind if I tag along?” Annabeth asked in a tone that almost made it a statement instead of a question.

“Not at all,” I said, happy.

The two of us walked out together, and ran straight into Jason Grace, and his girlfriend Piper.

“Hey, Percy. Hello Annabeth.” Jason said, grinning. I used to hate that perfect grin, but now that I knew him better, I only disliked it. He was a good guy though. Maybe a little too much so.

“What brings you two here?” I asked.

Piper seemed about to answer and then gave me a strange look. “Percy, do you know that you have ketchup on your shirt?”

“I KNOW!” I said, exasperated.

She giggled, and punched my arm playfully. “You need to chill out Percy.”

“Hard to do in ninety-five degree weather,” I replied, fanning myself with a napkin from McDonald’s. I hope they didn’t mind, otherwise, I’d be known as the Napkin Nabber.

Annabeth, Jason, and Piper all started talking, and I found myself pushed out of the group. Sighing, I started to walk off.

All at once, the ground suddenly caved in. I fell for several feet, and landed hard on my ankle.

“PERCY!” Annabeth’s voice screamed. High overhead I spotted her, Jason, and Piper looking down into the pit. But they couldn’t see me apparently.

I wanted to shout to them, but something caught my eye. It was a door, standing ten feet away from my landing spot.

My brain instantly interpreted mysterious doors as bad, but this time, I felt compelled to see what was inside. Maybe it had a ladder or something for me to get out of this stupid pit. This, for me, was the pits.

Struggling to my feet, I limped to the door. Surprisingly, my foot wasn’t broken, but it still hurt. Still, I managed to make it, and I put my hand on the doorknob.

“Percy!” Jason said, suddenly behind me.

Giving a very unmanly yelp of surprise, I ended up knocking the door open. It opened inward, and in I fell. Before Jason could follow, the door shut.

And disappeared. I was all alone.

Chapter 12

Chapter 5

Shocking Developments

(Han Solo)

Alright, Spidey, give me the pin.

You know, the narration has been good so far, but let me say that you won’t get much better than the best pilot, and writer, in the galaxy. So, I’m taking the writing for now.

Where were we…? Ah, yes.

I drew my pistol from my belt and prepared for a fight. Behind me, the ponies gasped.

“That’s his father?!” I heard Pinkie say. Boy, what a name.

“Yes,” I whispered behind me. “Anakin Skywalker, aka, Darth Vader. Known as one of the most feared and powerful beings in the galaxy. More machine than man. But, still, he has terrible respiratory problems.”

“Oh, dear,” Fluttershy said. “I have to help that lung problem.” She began flying towards Vader.

“No, wait…” I tried to say but… too late.

“Excuse me sir,” Fluttershy said gently to Vader. “You seem to have some problems breathing. Can I help you? Just hold sti…” Her words were cut off when Vader raised his hand and made a squeezing motion with it. Fluttershy clutched at her throat, but couldn’t breathe.

“Fluttershy!” Rainbow Dash (another priceless name) exclaimed. Fluttershy’s face was turning purple, and her eyes were wide with fear.

“Don’t bother with her Lord Vader,” came a deep throaty voice from the alley. “We must keep our strength for more competent subjects.”

Out of the alleyway stepped someone you would have laughed at if you didn’t know how dangerous he was. He was 88, but could really be quite shocking.

“Palpatine,” I scoffed. “Still holding Vader’s leash?” I loved saying stuff like that.

Palpatine scowled at me as Vader released Fluttershy, who crumpled to the floor. Her friends rushed to her. I heard words like “Still alive,” and “Be okay,” so that was a relief.

“Mr. Solo,” Palpatine growled. “Still as cocky as ever. Hoping to strike it rich?” He cackled.

“Who are you?” Twilight asked angrily, glaring at Palpatine and Vader.

Palpatine gave her a serene expression. “I am Supreme Emperor Palpatine of the Galactic Empire. This is my apprentice, Darth Vader. And we will be taking over your planet. Do not resist, or we will destroy you all before you can blink.” He smiled as if he had just announced he was baking a birthday cake.

“You won’t destroy us,” Celestia said, pawing the ground. “The Elements of Harmony will destroy you.”

Palpatine cackled, clearly enjoying himself. “Your ‘Elements’ will not save you from us. I am quite safe from your pitiful little band.” He waved us away as if we were a couple of buzzing gnats.

“We will not surrender,” Celestia declared, rushing at him. Luna followed suit.

That was a bad mistake.

Palpatine raised his hands, and bolts of blue lightning shot forward. I had never seen this before, and was quite shocked. Celestia and Luna were even more shocked (see the pun? You see what I… ah never mind).

The princesses screamed and crumpled to the floor, writhing in pain. Palpatine’s cackling could be heard over their moans of pain.

“NO!” Twilight screamed, but there was nothing she could do. I looked for Luke, but found him on the ground, unconscious. I found out later that Vader had hit Luke over the head with a large rock while Luke had been distracted with the shocking of the princesses. Now, Vader stood over Luke, ready to end his life right then and there.

“Hey, Vader Man,” I yelled at him. He looked at me, and I felt pinpricks run up my back. I knew that it was probably a bad idea to goad him, but I couldn’t let him kill Luke. “Need an inhaler?”

He raised his hand, and pressure was felt on my throat. Almost instantly, the world went dark, the last thing I heard being Leia’s cries of fear, and the cackling laughter from Palpatine.

When I awoke, I was lying on the grass, with the entire group looking over me. Well, almost everyone.

“Where are the Princesses?” I asked.

“Palpatine and Vader took them,” Luke replied, rubbing his head. “I think they’re going to use their magical power to make the Death Star so powerful that it will be able to destroy the whole galaxy in one shot.”

“We tried to stop them,” Twilight added. “But we were too late.” She was almost hysterical, tears pouring from her admittedly pretty violet eyes.

“What now?” Mario asked, looking rather shocked himself. Everyone did.

Mario’s question went unanswered for a good couple of minutes as everyone shuffled from foot to foot, or hoof to hoof, or whatever. Finally Twilight spoke up. “We need to find the Elements of Harmony, and then defeat the Emperor and Vader by destroying this ‘Death Star.’ Without the Elements, chaos will rule.”

I raised my hand. “Statement.”

Everyone looked at me. “The only true way to defeat the Death Star is to shoot bullets from a plane into a certain spot. This planet has no plane except for mine, well, at least that I know of, and my plane still has no fixing crew. Plus, we need somebody to get a pilot,” I pointed to myself, and Leia rolled her eyes, “and fly to the planet Endor to disable the shield around the Death Star so we can get a plane to penetrate its surface.” I took a breath. “So, who wants to add that to their list? Me personally, because I think it’s a little more important than finding weird necklace thingies and a big funny tiara.”

Twilight gasped. “Those ‘funny looking thingies’ are vital to keep Equestria together.”

“Well, I think that even though this planet is important, we need a team to save not just this planet, but the galaxy.” That shut her up. “We can still have people finding the Elements; I just need to get to Endor. Plus, I need to contact a friend of mine named Lando Calrissian. I can get him to fly my plane to the Death Star and fire the shot to destroy it. I know he’d like that.” Then I switched to a different tone. “If I can get some certain creatures to help me fix it.”

It worked. “How can we help?” All but Rainbow Dash and Wario volunteered.

Boy, when people, or ponies, get a mind set to work, they do fabulously.

Even Wario and Rainbow Dash helped, not without a few grumbles. But whew, in less than an hour and a half, my ship was fully operational.

“Wow,” I said for the two hundredth time as the ship told me its perfect condition.

“Happy now?” Rainbow Dash grumbled as she flew beside me.

Luke suddenly came up. “Donut?” he asked as he offered me a brown paper bag filled with pastries.

“Luke,” Leia said as he took a big bite of a chocolate donut covered in sprinkles. “You do remember your problems with sweets? And where did you get that?”

“From Pinkie,” Luke said, starting to twitch a bit. His voice had heightened slightly, and continued to heighten as he ate more sugar.

“What’s happening?” Fluttershy asked. “Is he okay?”

“He’s fine,” Leia said, sighing. “He’s just going on a sugar high.”

“What’s that?” Fluttershy wondered.

Luke suddenly lurched forward, and started to sprint around the ship. Occasionally, he would jump the height of a basketball player and yell in a high pitched Michael Jackson style voice, “I’m gonna run and jump, man!” Then he’d turn around with a “Whoo!” before running around again. “I need some sugar!”

Fluttershy looked away from the crazed Luke to Leia, who was sighing. “That’s a sugar high.”

Luke suddenly appeared in front of Leia and Fluttershy and said, “I need some sugar!” He continued to run in place as he repeated his phrase.

“No sugar,” Leia said, wrenching the bag of donuts away from his hungry grasp. She looked over at me for support, right as I was taking a bite out of a glazed donut. Seeing her glaring at me, I shrugged. “What, it’s good! Plus, I don’t go crazy. Who made these anyway?”

“I DID!” Pinkie yelled over Luke’s screaming.

“THEY’RE DELICIOUS!” I yelled back.

Luke lurched toward a pile of boxes, and started running in place on them. “LOOK AT ME, MAN! I’m mime running.”

Everybody else was laughing, including even Fluttershy. Luke looked pretty ridiculous.

Suddenly, Luke ran up towards me, reaching out for my pastry, but suddenly leapt into the air as if a spring had come up from the ground underneath him. He flipped gracefully and crashed onto the ground, lying still.

“He’ll wake up in a minute completely normal,” Leia announced, rolling her eyes.

Count on Luke to make things lighter.

About a half hour later, Luke had returned to normal, and everyone was assembled outside. Just as we were all relaxing, a familiar voice said “Alright, hands up Solo.”

My hand reached for my blaster, and I instinctively fired upon the person I thought had been dead. When the smoke cleared, I knew I had been right.

“Boba Fett?”

I imagined a smile under the Mandalorian armor concealing Fett’s face. “Did you really think that Sarlacc would do me in?” His voice was just as mocking as ever.

Twilight came up. “Wait, are you under arrest?”

“He is under arrest for smuggling illegal objects, and not paying his due to Jabba the Hutt.” Boba had a tendency for interrupting me. Also, apparently talking ponies didn’t faze him.

Seeing the ponies looking at me suspiciously, I said, “Listen, yes, I was a smuggler. I did a lot of things that I’m not proud of now. That was over five years ago." I looked at Fett, who was standing there with arms crossed like a lifeguard at a pool.

“Listen, bounty hunter,” I said, an idea coming to mind. “Why don’t you help us save the galaxy?”

Boba gave his signature chuckle. “Why don’t you stop messing around Solo, or I’ll give Jabba your head; without a body.”

“Here’s the thing Fett, Jabba got killed by Leia. There’s no one to deliver your bounty to. But I’m pretty sure if you help us save the princesses, the rewards would be admirable.”

I imagined an eyebrow raise under the helmet. “Reward?”

Twilight caught on. “Oh, yes, the princesses have built up a vast amount of money. I’m sure they’d love to give you a large sum for your assistance.”

Rarity joined in, fluttering her eyelashes at where Boba’s face would be. “The rewards would be staggering,” she crooned.

Boba still seemed unconvinced. “It better be more than what I was offered before.” Sensing my question, he answered. “2 million credits dead, twice as much alive.”

My eyes widened. I looked at the ponies and mouthed, “Do they have more money than that?”

Twilight had no idea what credits were, but she did know how much the princesses had. “The princesses had lots of gold, diamonds and jewels, of which only one jewel could be worth as much as what would you described.”

Boba thought for a moment. Then, he turned to me. “Alright, Solo, you’ve got yourself a deal.” We shook hands, and that’s how, in a moment, Boba Fett and I went from bitter enemies, to decent friends. I guess you’re his friend as long as you’ve got an extensive pocketbook.