Rarity was sitting in her room trying to work on a dress but couldn't concentrate on it as she was remembering back to all of the missions she had to go through with her friends to save Equestria.
It made her very nervous, she could almost hear the noises in her head. She tried to shake it off by just working on her dress but that didn't do any good, she hoped that Sweetie Belle wouldn't see her like this as she didn't want to scare her.
She hated dealing with this problem, she could almost sense another villain trying to threaten Equestria. She tried taking deep breaths but that didn't work, she had dealing with this problem for a long time but this time it was at its worse.
She quickly got up and stumbled to the bathroom and swallowed a few pills with water for anxiety as she hoped that would help. She stumbled to her room again and held her head in her hands as her breathing quickened as she sat on the bed.
She thought about calling her friends for her help but she didn't want to do that because that would bother them and she didn't want to place her problems on her friends as that wouldn't be fair since they were her problems.
She held her head in her hands as her body was shaking profusely. She couldn't deal with it as it was becoming unbearable. She squeezed her hands together as she felt an anxiety attack coming on as she remembered what her friends went through with her.
She continued to shake as she felt like she just wanted to end her problem permanently, she felt she needed to end her problem, she knew that she shouldn't go that route as she could call one of her friends or go to the hospital but that wouldn't matter as her problem would come back again.
She just wanted to end her pain, she just couldn't live with it anymore, she couldn't live her life with these nightmares haunting her, it felt as if it was to much, she continued to get flashbacks to all of the stuff she went through with her friends.
She looked towards her cabinet that was locked to make sure Sweetie Belle didn't get in it. She just couldn't live anymore with the knowledge that something else will happen to Equestria. She also felt guilty for leaving Sweetie Belle sometimes when she had to save Equestria.
She stood up and paced around her room as she held her hands to her ears, she tried to do about something else to distract her from her flashbacks but whatever she thought about was interrupted by her flashbacks. They just got worse as the minutes based.
She wished that she could do anything to to distract her from these awful memories from the missions but nothing helped. She knew that it was hopeless. She looked to her cabinet as she thought that ending it all wouldn't be so bad.
She tried to refuse that dark idea she just got but her mind wandered back to it as she just couldn't get it out of her head. She was glad that Sweetie Belle was at her parent's place because if she was Carousal Boutique Rarity would scare Sweetie Belle by being in pain.
She looked back to her cabinet again as she thought about calling a friend for help but she knew that she didn't want to impose her current problems on then so she just sat there and dealt with it. She looked at her cabinet again and decided that she just couldn't take the nightmares or the flashbacks anymore.
She went up to the cabinet and opened it and pulled out her licensed revolver she kept in order to defend her home from any body who wanted to kill her or the princess. She sat on her bed as she thought about all of the stuff that happened to her and she thought about her sister and her friends.
She continued to have terrible memories of all of the stuff she had to go through to save several places in Equestria. She couldn't deal with the trauma of those past events and she couldn't deal with all of the stuff that she had to help her friends fight against it was to much and she wanted to end her misery and pain.
On the other hand though she thought about all of her friends and her sister and she thought about the consequence of killing herself. If she committed suicide then her friends would be devastated. Sweetie Belle and Spike would also go through a lot of pain if she decided to end her life.
She knew that she had so many good opportunities to live for but she didn't want to deal with her trauma's anymore. She looked at the revolver as she suffered from her pain. She knew that once she killed herself there would be no going back.
She looked at the revolver in her hand as she tried to choose what to do. She knew she had a choice but she didn't want to end her life either. She then remembered that their was number that people called to talk about their problems if they thought about killing themselves.
She looked through a phone book for this number and found it, she looked at the number as she thought about calling it, she needed to talk to somebody immediately. Her hands shook profusely as she thought about dialing the number she knew that if she told them she was in immediate danger they would send emergency services.
She knew that the second best thing to do would be to call Twilight as Twilight had a lot of knowledge about depression and knew about suicidal issues as she had read tons of books on the subject. She knew that she would be more comfortable calling Twilight.
She decided to pick up her phone and sat down on the bed, she went to dial Twilight's number but hesitated as she thought of the possibility of Twilight not being there. She knew that she had to talk to somebody though so she finally dialed Twilight's home number.
She hoped that Twilight would pick up the phone, she feared that Twilight would hang up on her but knew that fear was silly as Twilight would never do that. A few tears fell down her face as she cried while she continued to have dark thoughts. Twilight picked up and spoke.
"Hello? Princess of Equestria speaking. How may I help you?" Twilight asked. Rarity hesitated as she didn't want to bother Twilight but knew that this was probably the only way to help her.
"Uh...hi Twilight its Rarity....I was thinking about calling you so I called you....I need to to talk to you immediately...as you give a lot of good advice about a lot of things....I'm in danger...Im dealing with horrible flashbacks from past missions where I saved Equestria with you and thinking about killing myself as its so traumatic. I want to end it all. I don't want this pain." Rarity said as she cried.
"Listen Rarity it's okay I'm here for you and your friends are here for you. We all love and care about you and we wouldn't want you to do this. I know this might be wrong for me to say but it's just not worth it Rarity. Suicide isn't the answer....look let me come over there I'll help you deal with the flashbacks. I'll help you deal with this." Twilight told Rarity.
"What do you think you can do to help me with my flashbacks? What is better than suicide Twilight because that seems to be the best choice for me right now instead of dealing with this permanent pain." Rarity said.
"The best choice is letting a family member or a friend to love you. We all love you and we're going to help you through this Rarity! Listen I have flashbacks to....some of them are worse than others but you can remain strong after they happen. You have to think about great and beautiful things to try and distract from your flashbacks. You can think about your family or better yet look towards a peaceful future for yourself!" Twilight said.
Rarity knew that Twilight was right but she still thought that the future looked pretty bleak for her as Equestria was probably doomed to be defeated sometime in the future. She didn't want to see her sister to die because of somebody or some monster threatening Equestria.
"It's not worth living for Twilight. Equestria will be destroyed sometime and it will be all my fault because I wouldn't be prepared it's better if I off myself now instead of dooming Equestria." Rarity said. Twilight grew very frantic as she tried to persuade Rarity from killing herself.
"Rarity please I love you so much don't do this, we all love you we don't want to lose you to something as tragic as this!" Twilight yelled as she started to cry. Rarity shook her head as she opened the cabinet.
"This won't be as tragic as seeing all of you die. I would rather off myself and seeing that. This is the only possible choice for me. I just can't continue." Rarity said.
"Rarity please there's another way! There's always another way! Hope will always exist in Equestria!" Twilight said as she pleaded with Rarity to not harm herself, Rarity went to the cabinet and got a bullet as she only needed one she went back to sit down.
"No all hope is lost forever. I'm fucked Twilight. I want this pain to end and I'm going to end it." Rarity said as she loaded the bullet into the chamber and closed the chamber.
"No! Hope is not lost! Rarity please. Don't do what what I think your going to do. Suicide is unnecessary. I love you I don't want to lose you please let me comfort you!" Twilight cried.
"And why do you think I should live for my sister or for my friends? Huh? What is so great about any of that? Give me a good reason why I shouldn't end it all. Go on Twilight use that smart brain of yours and tell me why I shouldn't kill myself." Rarity asked.
Twilight cried as she tried to think of any good example of why Rarity shouldn't hurt herself. She decided to get her other phone out and text emergency service line to tell them that her friend was about to kill herself. She prepared to call emergency services.
"Because you should live for all of us and you should also live to make your life the best as you can because we love you! Don't you love all of us not to kill yourself? We love you and if you kill yourself we will all miss you! Don't do it!" Twilight begged.
"Yes I do love you and I love the rest of my friends I know you will miss me and I know that my friends will miss me but I just think it would be so easier to rid myself of this darkness. I don't want to deal with my anxiety anymore I'm sick of this pain." Rarity cried.
"Rarity do you have a suicide plan? When are you going to carry it out I must know." Twilight begged. Rarity became silent as she didn't want to alert Twilight as there was no hope for her but she decided to tell her friend.
"I'm going to shoot myself in the head." Rarity answered bluntly. Twilight panicked but tried to calm herself.
"Alright Rarity just listen to me. You might believe that things are hopeless but I assure you the next day will always be better than the day before that day. You have great things to look forward in you life. And those things outnumber the bad things. Suicide doesn't solve anything it only makes the pain for family and friends of the victim worse. Hope and love and understanding solve the problem you can see therapists to talk about the problem and you will always have us to talk to. We all love you and we are all here for you so please just put the gun down." Twilight pleaded.
Rarity looked at the gun and thought about what Twilight said. Twilight had a very good point. Rarity felt very moved by what Twilight said. She looked at the gun again and then unloaded it and set it down.
"I'm not going to kill myself Twilight...it's okay....I feel a bit better now. I won't harm myself....I...thank you for that speech I appreciate it I love you Twilight." Rarity said. Twilight breathed a sigh of relief.
"Thank you Rarity! We all love you! Just step away from the gun okay?" Twilight said. Rarity nodded as she looked at it and decided that it was to dangerous for her to keep it so she handed it over to the Ponyville authorities and explained it to them. They of coarse understood everything she said and then she got back on the phone with Twilight.
"I really have to thank you for everything Twilight. You can come over to check on me okay. I won't mind. You can hang up to I don't think I'll need anymore help. You did great." Rarity said.
"Your welcome Rarity. I'm going to come over immediately but only after you sign up for a therapist to talk to." Twilight said. Rarity nodded.
"No problem Twilight." Rarity said. Twilight hung up and Rarity searched for a number of any therapist in town that she could talk to and found one. She called one up and told them her problem they talked to her for a few minutes and then they decided to let her visit a therapist once a week and so she signed up for that.
Rarity called Twilight and Twilight came over to see her, she hugged Rarity and encouraged Rarity to be open about her problems and she decided to do that. Twilight listened to everything Rarity said and Twilight said that she would be there for her. Twilight went home and said that she would see Rarity tomarrow.
Rarity started to see the therapist once a week and she also told her friends everything and each one of them was understanding. Her friends, Twilight and her sister all comforted her through her depression as she continued to live her life as happiest that she could.
Over time she got over her depression and she thanked her friends and family and her therapist for all of the support. They told her that they were glad that they could help and they told her if she had any more problems she could talk to them. Rarity was so happy that she got over her depression
