Friendship with Liches.

by HPBudgecraft

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Warcraft, Comedy, Crossover
Length: 1354

Discord returns once again to Naxxramas, but just to see his best friend.

Forced to do a "Friendship Lesson" by his dearest Buttershy. Discord opts to try a different approach and go speak with the same undead friend he tried to make previously.

Published 2018-01-13 05:40:07 UTC
Last updated 2018-01-13 05:40:07 UTC

I Didn't Ask For This

The room was filled with a split emotion. On one side you had a feeling of disbelief and pure anger. On the other was a gleeful almost ditzy joy that seemed to counter the other.

“Why are you back here? Why is there is a tea set? Why am I drinking said tea?!” The Lich confusingly took another sip.

“Because we're friends and you invited me back!” The Draconequus said as his wings puffed out.

“I specifically said DON'T come back.” The Lich replied with a more angered tone.

“I heard come back with tea and a good time.” The Draconequus said back with a wink.

Kel’thuzad rolled the small spots of lights in his sockets and glanced down at the tea that had gone straight through him and onto the chair. Raising a boney finger to Discord he paused.

“Were you going to agree that we make great friends?” Discord smiled.

“No.. more of a, I may take myself up on that mass genocide thing.” Kel’thuzad smiled back.

Gasping Discord covered his mouth, “You did not just say that! Come on, you know you missed me.” He had all his fangs out now.

“I miss you like I miss my parents. And by that I mean I'm glad they're dead.” Getting off the chair, Kel’thuzad brushed off his robe and cleared his lack of throat, “Now if you excuse me…”

“You have been eating haven't you!” Discord shouted and flew over to his friend. “I can see you're getting big boned.” He ran his eagle claw over the Lich’s rib cage.

Glancing down Kel’thuzad shuddered, “First of all, eating is an absolute delight for someone without a stomach.” He rolled his eyes once more, “And don't touch me.”

Watching Kel’thuzad shimmy away Discord thought for a moment, “I think you need a friendship lesson.”

“Why of course I need a-" Slowly he turned his head around, “A what?” Pulling on the chains of his robe it straightened out. “I have you know I don't DO friendship. And even less with a… you.”

Discord cackled, “A what? Silly bone man, you know nothing of what I even am! And you shall be my bestest friend in the whole wide universe!” Throwing his hands to the air confetti flew around.

Pulling a piece from his eye socket Kel’thuzad growled and began shoving Discord out the door. “Yeah yeah thanks for the mess and all but you really need to be going. I have a very important meeting and you're not invited.”

“A meeting?” Vanishing, Discord popped up behind Kel’thuzad who spun around rapidly in shock.

“How did you-" His mouth was covered by the lion paw of Discord.

“No no no, hush. I'll clean up this absolute disaster of a room! Like look at all these skull decorations!” He stared at a pile of human skulls sitting in the corner.

“Those aren't decorations.” Kel’thuzad replied dully. “That was the last raid that came in here and tried to steal my random relics I for some reason keep in my robe at all times.” He removed a sword and shrugged.

Discord snorted, “Oh come on, human remains are so 476 AD.” Spinning into his maid outfit he held out a small broom. “But before I mess with that let me clean up that absolutely disgusting ball of fur in your hover space…”

Kel’thuzad glanced down, “That's not fur, that's my cat.” A pair of spectral ears popped out and meowed.

Discord quickly snatched up the ghost kitty, “I forgot you had a cat!” He squealed with absolute delight and hugged it.

The Lich turned his head to face the right wall, “Yet I have an entire wall dedicated to my sweet furbaby.”

Taking a moment to look over, the whole wall was covered in various images. One had Kel and his cat on a beach. Another eating dinner. One slaying the innocent.

“Wait a minute.” He looked closely at the last one. “You're telling me… that you go outside?! But you're so pale you look dead!”

Kel’thuzad looked down at his hands then popped off his skull and held it close to Discord's ear, “I think that's the point, genius.”

Silence. Discord stared off in the distance as if trying to comprehend the situation. “Then that means… nothing! You can't be dead if you're so clearly alive.” Removing his own head he held it out, “See, someone alive can clearly do the same.”

Beginning to feel the anger slowly rise back up in himself, Kel’thuzad floated away and stayed quiet. Going through the back hall he grumbled to himself before coming to an open room with dragon bones scattered about.

“If that idiot says one more thing I'm going to find a way to actually kill him!” Screaming his voice echoed throughout the room until a cold chill drifted through.

Before him was the transporter up to this part of the necropolis. And coming was a man in full plate armor dragging a sword behind him. Blue eyes shot daggers from behind the sharp helmet he adorned.

“You better not be speaking of me, Kel’thuzad.” The Lich King frowned at his lowly minion. “If you were I swear on Icecrown.”

Kel’thuzad bowed, “No, no. I'm sorry, Master. It's just the…” Looking back at the hall he walked through, Discord was leaning against the wall eating Ice Cream.

“Who knew you had these back there! The wrapper said ‘Ice Cream Citadel’ on it. Is that a brand here?” He shoved an ice cream sandwich in his mouth.

“What is that?!” The Lich King raised his sword, “Why is it here and eating MY ice cream?!”

Kel’thuzad clasped his hands together, “I tried to kill him but couldn't. The magic just didn't connect.

“The only thing not connecting here is your pathetic excuse! You are a spineless, incompetent fool!” The Lich King yelled and aimed his sword at Discord.

Scoffing, Kel’thuzad approached his master. “Um, excuse me?” Turning around he pulled down his robe slightly. “Then explain what this is?” With both hands he pointed to his spine.

From the hallway Discord also pointed as he shoved more ice cream in his mouth. “That looks like a spine to me.” Kel’thuzad nodded with a cheeky smile.

Slack jawed, The Lich King shook his head. “I'll be back in a few days. But if he is still here and you're still being sassy, I'm ending you.” Stomping back to the teleporter, Kel’thuzad waved goodbye.

“So that's your boss, ay?” Discord crumpled up a few wrappers. “Sounds charming. When's the wedding?”

Flustered Kel’thuzad quickly went back to his room and shut the iron gate that closed it in. “Why does he stay here?!” He covered his cheek bones.

“Because you're amusing.” Kel’thuzad let out a startled scream as Discord hovered beside him. “Just say you're my friend. Please? Then I'll go.”

Looking over, Kel’thuzad gave a confused glare. “And why do I need to say I'm your friend? What motive will that give you?”

Puffing out his cheeks Discord muttered, “Fluttershy told me I needed to complete a friendship lesson but she never said I couldn't force someone against their free will to willingly accept my sad excuse for it.”

Letting his lower jaw fall onto the floor he stared at the Draconequus. “Then… uh. Friendship complete?”

“Thank you!” Suddenly Discord vanished leaving the room as it was when he arrived. Kel’thuzad fell back in his throne and groaned.

“Why is it always me who gets the weird ones.” Placing a hand on his cheek he sighed. But as he did the sound of wrappers filled the air.

In the back of the room, Discord returned and started grabbing some more ice cream. “Oh, by the way. I'll be coming back every week for some of these. Thanks again!” He vanished once more.

“Oh.. yeah.” Kel’thuzad waved his hand at the now empty room. “No need to worry.” He leaned back in his throne. “I'm just Kel’thu’freaking’zad.”

Author's Note

I need to make my own wall of pictures for my own furbabies.