I Lost You Before I Could Love You

by ClockyTalky

Rating: mature
Tags: Profanity, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Death, Main 6, Princess Luna, Spike, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Suicide / Self Harm, Violence, Princess Celestia
Length: 2321

Love can appear over and over, even when you didn't relize it was there before. You can only hope that it doesn't drive you insane, and it doesn't ruin the live's of those around you. Here's a story of how love went wrong. Terribly wrong.

Counting. One. Two. Three. Four. Four days since he did it. Four weeks since he took them. Four years since his life had changed forever. Nothing would be the same. Always changing when the snow falls. Not always at first. Not too late into the winter, either. Just at the right moments. The worst moments. Every winter.
Dreary Sky has delt with the pain of losing his parents for four years. He blamed himself, but he also blamed the one actualy responsible for their deaths. Dreary Sky can see the face of the colt who ruined his life everytime he closes his eyes. He can only hope the colt would never return.
Dreary Sky's luck takes a turn for the worst when Victor comes back into his life. Yet, Dreary can't seem to force himself away from the colt. Something always drew him to Victor. Even when Victor affects the lives of him and his friends.
That was exactly what Victor was doing. Changing the lives of Drearys new pony friends by pushing their past issues into the present. Dreary Sky can't seem to make it stop. At least, not without violent force against the colt.
The devil colt with wings.
The one who took his parents.

Published 2018-02-04 03:10:06 UTC
Last updated 2018-02-04 03:10:06 UTC

Feeling Watched

"Whacha got there?" Somepony asked. The voice was familiar. It was a voice I could only recognize as Apple Jacks. There she was, once again, catching me in the act of thievery. "Come on, Drear. I keep tellin' you that you don't have to keep takin' food. We can go eat somewhere."

I just stood there, frozen in my place. She always cathes me. Before, I could just run away and enjoy the stolen apples in the privacy of the Everfree Forest. That was before I knew her. That was before I met her. Now, I can't run. I have too much respect for her. Still, not enough that could stop me from attempting to steal.

"C'mon, Sugar. Just drop the apples so we can go to a cafe or somethin'," Apple Jack ordered with a soft tone. I felt a fresh wave of guilt wash over me, piling itself onto the previous ones.

I turned to her, the bag swung back and forth, occasionally hitting my chest as I turned around. Apple Jack had a look in her eyes that resembled the emotion in her voice. So patient. I had to look to the ground to try and escape her somehow crushing gaze. When looking to the ground wasn't enough, I closed my eyes, but all I could see was the look in her eyes mixed in with the darkness. The look of patience, and concern. I let the bag fall from my mouth and to the ground. I knew I had lost when I heard a soft crunching sound in the snow from the bag landing.I was ashamed. "M-May I just leave," I asked. "I need to leave."

"No," Apple Jack frowned. "We're going to a restaurant, or cafe, or... or some place we can grab a bite to eat. You need to stop stealing."

"N-No, no thank you," I stuttered again. I felt ashamed and defeated. I pulled one of my freezing hooves out of the snow and ran it down my tangled, blue mane in an attempt to confort myself. I didn't want to take anything from the pony I was just about to steal from. "I don't need you to buy me food. I can fend for myself. Th-Thank you though."

"This is the only way that seems to make you stop stealin' for at least a short amount of time. I'm hopin' that this will make you wanna skip a few steps in the little cycle we seem to have goin' and just ask me for food. Or ask any other pony, 'cause they'll give you somethin' to eat, too," Apple Jack grabbed my chin and made me look her in the eyes. "There is no more doin' everythin' yourself. We're here to help. You have us now."

I gently pushed her hoof away from me, and looked back down at the ground. She was refering to her friends. The ponies who control the Elements of Harmony. The ponies that I've come to think of as friends of my own. I hate having them all worry about me the way they do. I hate when Apple Jack gives me things when I can't take them. It just keeps happening. A cycle that won't end.

"Come on, now," She nodded towards the exit of Applewood Acres. "Lets go see if there's anythin' open in this weather." She walked towards the opening in the fenceline, telling me that it was time to leave and I had no say in the matter.
I walked closely behind her. If I didn't follow, she probably would've tied my hooves together and dragged me behind her. She turned back to see if I was there and smiled when she seen I was. I looked down at the snow, hoping she would just turn back around and keep walking. After a few steps, I looked back up and Apple Jack had turned around.

We trudged through the snow for what felt like hours. Nothing was open in this weather. The streets were empty. There was no point in being out here if everything was closed. Despite the obvious outcome of this poinless walk, we kept going up and down the streets of Ponyville.

A shiver ran down my spine. It wasn't from the cold, though. It was too sudden. It felt as though I being watched, but nopony was looking at me. It was only AppleJack and I outside. The streets were empty. There wasn't a single pony to be watching me.

Out of nowhere, I was attacked by a pink blur, answer the question of where the feeling could have come from. The pony pushed me to the ground and sat on top of me, making me even colder than before because of the snow that covered us. "Dreary," Pinkiepie yelled. "What are you doing out here? You shouldn't be anywhere near here!"

"Oh, um... Apple Jack was taking me out to eat. Nothing you would be interested in," I answerd quietly. I turned my head away from Pinkiepie, causing some of my mane to land in my face.

She has always made me uncomfortable. The day we met she tackled me, just like this. She squealed and ran away. Later that afternoon, I was caught off guard by a party in the middle of the streets. The party was meant for me. She ran up to me and told me she would've thrown it at my house if she knew where I had lived. I tried to walk away, but she oushed me back towards the cluster of ponies. I never really liked being alone, but at that moment, I wanted nothing more than to be alone. It was thanks to the pink mare who I still call my friend.

"Hey! I have an idea!" Pinkiepie jumped off of me and in front of Apple Jack. Apple Jack lifted a hoof out of the snow to show that she was startled. "I haven't seen Dreary in two whole weeks!"

"Your point is?" Apple Jack put her hoof back into the small depression it had made in the snow and looked at Pinkiepie questionably.

"Well," Pinkiepie dragged the 'll' sound out. "Lets throw a party! A welcome back party!"

"I-I didn'y exactly leave Ponyville," I informed her. Apple Jack helped me off of the ground and wiped the snow off of my back. "So... There's no need for me to be surounded by everypony." Another shiver ran down my spine. I still felt like I was being watched. I looked around to see if there was anypony other than the three of us, but there was still no one. Who could it have been if it wasn't Pinkipie? Mabey it was just the snow.

"Don't be silly, Dreary," Pinkiepie put one of her front legs over my shoulders, making me jump. "Welcome back into my life!" She gave me a wide smile, telling me that she felt this was the right thing to do. I couldn't tell her no. It could dissapoint her, making me feel worse.

Ok," I sighed. "Lets have a party." I looked to Apple Jack and she smile.

"Glad to see you're finally comin' out of that shell of yours, Drear," She tilted her head and closed her eyes to show her satisfaction. Not long after, she turned to Pinkiepie with question in her eyes. "Will there be food? Warm food?"

"Sure! What kind of warm food?" Pinkiepie began listing her ideas for what should be eaten, and Apple Jack listened cloesly.

"C'mon, Drear," Apple Jack spoke over Pinkiepies rambling. They began to walk in the direction of the Boutique. I followed behind them, distancing myself by a few feet.

We were almost to the Boutique when Pinkiepie gasped and ran away. Apple Jack chuckled and shook her head, as she does almost everytime Pinkiepie does something outragous. Apple Jack turned toward me with a smile. "Why are you always so far behind everyone? You should now that we don't bite."

"S-Sorry," I apologized. I looked at the ground when I stood near her. She always makes me nervous, even though she's the one I've known the londest. "I'm just slow, I guess."

"No need to apologize, hun. Just try to keep up, or tell us if we need to slow down next time. Alright?" She started walking again, but slower. "C'mon, now. We gotta get you somewhere warm while we wait for Pinkie's party."

I walked next to her, still looking at the snow covered ground. I liked the soft crunching sound my hooves made when one of them landed and I would pick up another. The sound was satisfying, calming. It distracted me from the feeling I've been having.

That distraction ended when we reached the Boutique. We didn't even get to knock on the door when it swung open and rarity pulled us into the house. I looked up at the dainty pony. She was dressed in a turtle neck sweater, Opal was on her back wearing a duplicate sweater in her size. "What on Earth are you two doing out there? It's freezing! Dreary could get sick, poor dear."

Apple Jack thought about what we were outside for, originally. She groaned when she relized that we never did what she was going to force me to. "We were gonna go eat, but we made plans for later.

"Nonsense," Rarity laughed. "He can eat here. I have food. You could've fed him at your place too." She flipped her hair and trotted down the hall. We follwed her, Apple Jack frowned as we got closer to the kitchen. She wanted to be the one to feed me. She wants to earn my trust. The sad thing was, that would never happen.

Raritys kitchen was always interesting to me. She kept it so clean. I've rarely ever seen her in here. Then again, I was mostly at the Boutique to help her with a new outfit. She was always so busy.

"Apple Jack, get him a blanket, would you? He must be freezing," Rarity asked.

Apple Jack rolled her eyes and mumbled as she walked off. One of them always seemed to be upset with the other when I was around. Rarity was always focused on me, Apple Jack was always focused on gaining my trust. Both involved Rarity taking care of me, and Apple Jack trying to take that away from her. It was always a competition with them.

A large bowl of steaming soup was placed in front of me. Not long after, a blanket was thrown over me.I looked at the two ponies, who were now both smiling. I looked at the purple blanket, then to the bowl, then back to the ponies.

"You feelin' ok?" Apple Jack asked, putting her hoof on my head. "You don't seem to be sick... yet." She squinted slightly.

"M-Mabey I won't get sick," I told her with an wkward smile. "I'm used the weather..." Apple Jack still had a suspicious look aimed towards me. I found it weird that she would care as much as she did.

"Oh, Dreary, don't make me laugh. You always get sick. When I first got a hold of you, you were sick. Now eat up, Darling," Rarity walked towards the sink to wash the dishes that were no longer being used. "So, what plans did you guys have for later?"

Apple Jack sat down in one of the chairs placed at the table. "We'll be headed down to Pinkies for a party here later."

"Really?" Rarity used her magic to lift the dishes into the air, the sponges following soon after. She was just so prissy sometimes, not wanting to make a mess of her hooves. "Why wasn't I invited?"

"It was kind of last minute," Apple Jack answered Awkwardly. "It was actually planned as we were walking here."

"Oh? What is this one for?" Rarity turned the handle to the faucet. The two ponies continued talking. Apple Jack explained the reason for the party, Rarity commented on something here and there.

I looked away from them and looked down at the bowl that was placed before me. The contents were steaming. I was afraid to touch it. The heat was always a tricky thing. If it turns out to be too hot, you could be injured. If it's not hot enough you're set up for dissapointment. This soup was a good example of how terrifying the tempurature could be. I needed a thermometer.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Rarity looked at me with a slight pout, releasing me from my thoughts. I didn't answer her. I just blinked several times, trying to process what she was aksing me. "Do you want me to feed you?"

"No," I finally said. "Thank you, though." I was going to tell her that I didn't really want to eat anything, but the front door was being knocked on very rapidly. It could only be Pinkiepie coming to tell us to hurry up and get to her party. If not us, then just Rarity.

"Come in," Rarity called out to the pony at the door. As I though, Pinkiepie burst in through the door. She made a mess of snow, glitter, and conffetti, jumped around, and sang about my return to her life.

"Come on! Let's go!" The pink mare jumped out of the door and back into the snow.

I had no choice in walking on my own. Rarity once again lifted me with her magic and carried me to our destination. There was no walking alone for me. There was one more stop made for Rarity to pull a sweater over her head, flip her hair, and we were off. "This should be fun. Don't you think, Dreary?"

"Sure," I sighed. "This should be fantastic."

Author's Note

I have no idea what I was doing here.