Panzerlost: Rommel in Equestria

by The Party Pony

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Drama, Comedy, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Human
Length: 9391

Canterlot is falling. It is falling in ruin, falling in fire, falling in death. Meanwhile, a distant realm called Earth fights its own War to End All Wars. What happens when a German Field Marshal is whisked away to the mythical land of Equestria?

Beaten down by crushing defeats against the unstoppable Crystal Empire, Equestria's battered military is in full retreat. A few desperate soldiers are building defenses in the Alicorn Mountains to the east, but they are only delaying the inevitable. All is lost.

But if war proves anything, it's that things never go quite as expected...

Meanwhile, in a far-away realm called Earth, a far different war rages on. Blazing his way across North Africa in a series of brilliant military victories, German feldmarschall Erwin Rommel has earned the nickname Desert Fox for his tactical genius. When he finds himself in the world of Equestria, will he be doomed to die far from his Vaterland? Or will his quick thinking and brilliant tactics be enough to turn the tides of war and save Canterlot?

Find out in Panzerlost!

Published 2018-01-16 22:30:05 UTC
Last updated 2018-02-08 02:20:49 UTC

This Side of Paradise

It began with a dream.

A haunting melody wandered through the vision like a lazy river, a simple yet bizarre tune with an almost Saddle-Arabian sound. A chorus of deep voices echoed in the background, chanting the words of some strange language she couldn't understand.

Wir sind das deutsche Afrikakorps
Des Führers verwegene Truppe
Wir stürmen wie die Teufel hervor
Versalzen dem Tommy die Suppe
Wir fürchten nicht Hitze und Wüstensand
Wir trotzen dem Durst und dem Sonnenbrand
Marschieren beim Takt unserer Trommel
Vorwärts, vorwärts
Vorwärts mit unserem Rommel!

The first thing she saw in her dream was sunlight; blinding sunlight that poured mercilessly from the endless skies above, and drowned her in its unrelenting glare. Rolling sands stretched out before her, an endless ocean of brown dust in every direction. But on the horizon, something was visible. It was a line of vehicles, the likes of which she had never seen before, vehicles that growled like great beasts. Strange creatures followed behind them, like hairless apes that reared up on their hind legs. They wore dusty brown uniforms and carried strange weapons of wood and steel.

Still the music continued its haunting course, and now she could see that it was the ape-creatures who were singing along.

Die Briten fürchten uns wie die Pest
Sie sitzen auf glühenden Kohlen
Wir rächen Deutsch-Ost und rächen Südwest
Das einst sie uns feige gestohlen
Sind Churchhill und Roosevelt auch Wut entbrannt
Wir werfen die Feinde in jedemLand
Es schlägt Generalmarsch die Trommel
Vorwärts, vorwärts
Vorwärts mit unserem Rommel!

She turned, and there stood a great creature, greater then any of the other hairless apes. Despite the inherent ugliness of his species, he had an aura of nobility that surrounded him; his very manner reminded her of the Knights of old. He wore a battered visor cap with field goggles, and authority seemed to emanate from him.

She did not know his name, but suddenly, it became clear. Even though she couldn't understand the music, or the voices, or anything about the language, somehow, deep within the fiber of her being, she knew his name.

He was called the Desert Fox.

Celestia's eyes snapped open, awoken from the most vivid dream she had ever experienced. Her whole body still shook, and she nearly collapsed as she tried to get out of bed. Her fur was matted with sweat, and her mane was tangled and disheveled. She was back in her familiar castle bedroom. The creatures, the desert, the growling metal vehicles, the Desert Fox... it was all gone, disappearing into nothing like a whiff of smoke.

"If only Luna was still here to guard the dream realm." she muttered, not for the first time in the last thousand years. "Maybe she would have the answer to this..."

But in her heart, she knew it was a prophesy. Somehow, though the Elements of Harmony had been lost long ago, Celestia knew they had given her a vision, a hazy glipse of the future.

Desperately needing a breath of fresh air, she burst through the doors and onto the balcony. The city of Canterlot stretched out below her, flickering lights marking the boundaries of streets and houses. Beyond Canterlot, almost invisible in the darkness, she could see the Alicorn Mountains, rising like a massive wall in the east. She knew that even now her soldiers were moving to fortify the passes, to defend as long as they could against the Crystal Legions.

But still, King Sombra's armies marched closer with each and every day. Now they were practically at her gates. Canterlot, Equestria, and all the free world would fall into flame and death. Unless...

Unless they had help.

THE PARTY PONY PRESENTS: PANZERLOST - ROMMEL IN EQESTRIA

JANUARY 25TH, 1942 - MSUS, NORTH AFRIKA

Canons thundered and machine guns rattled in a deafening overture of military power. The blackened remains of panzers, and the brown-uniformed bodies of infantrymen were scattered in the desert dust. But still the panzers rolled on, six Panzer IIs and a hulking Panzer III, turrets rocking with the force of their barrage. Their shells rained down like the wrath of Heaven itself, sending the city of Msus into a deadly inferno.

Amid the flame and confusion, in the midst of the lumbering tank division, there stood a well-dressed man. He was tall and proud, his greatcoat billowing behind him like a cape. "Vorwärts!" he shouted, waving a baton in the air, "Vorwärts, schnell! Die Briten sitzen auf glühenden kohlen! Schnell!"

This was Field Marshal Erwin Rommel, the Desert Fox.

"Forwards, men, hurry!" he was saying in urgent German, "we have the British on the retreat! Quickly!"

Stray bullets whizzed around him, but he took no notice. One zipped close to his ear before ricocheting off the Panzer with a clatter. Without missing a beat, he stepped forward and emptied his 9mm Luger in the general direction of the enemy. If he expected his soldiers to brave the fire of the enemy, he would do the same.

The Panzer III beside him shuddered, and a shell screamed towards an enemy building in the distance. It was a direct hit. The building exploded in a cloud of flame and smoke, rocking the very ground on which Rommel stood.

"News from the southern end of the village, Herr Feldmarshal." Oberlutenant Gerhard, one of his subordinates, appeared. His head was wrapped in a bandage, and the sleeve of his sand-brown Heer uniform was stained crimson with blood, but he didn't even seem to notice. "Herr Feldmarshal," he exclaimed vehemently, "the British are falling back eastwards towards Benghazi. Ober Karl-Heinz says that we can capture several vehicles of the 1st Armored if we press the attack!"

"Very well." replied the Rommel with a curt nod. "Send word to Ober Hasso, tell him to bring up his Panzer IIIs on the eastern edge of the city."

"Ja'vohl, herr feldmarshal!" declared the oberlutenant, raising his arm in salute.

Rommel tapped his baton to the tip of his visor cap in turn, then went back to commanding his men. "Quickly, men! Into the cover of those buildings! Quickly!"

It happened all at once. One moment he was in the blinding sun of the Libyan desert, commanding his brave panzers in a masterful attack. The next moment, he was in darkness. Total, utter, darkness. Then, just as soon as it came, before he could even react, the darkness retreated.

He was standing in grass. Beautiful, vibrant green grass, the kind he hadn't seen since he left Germany. Low rolling hills stretched out in all directions, a mountain range rising like teeth on the northern horizon.

"What the devil happened?!" he shouted, looking rapidly around his new environment. The silence was so sudden it almost hurt his ears. Nothing but the quiet chirping of birds in a distant forest. "Where the devil am I?!"

"Princess! A strange creature has been sighted on the plains towards the south." announced the guard. He removed his tarnished gold helmet and bowed low before his liege. "The scouts say they have no idea how he made it through our lines without their knowledge."

Princess Celestia calmly set down her cup of tea and sighed. Could her soldiers do nothing on their own? "Get together a few soldiers and see if you can reason with this creature. What did it look like exactly?"

"A...er..." the guard stammered, trying to find an apt description. "...A hairless ape, I suppose."

"Reared up on its hind legs?!" exclaimed Celestia. Her eyes became suddenly sharp.

"Er, yes, My Princess. It also had a long black coat, and-"

The sentry couldn't finish. Celestia was already gone.

Rommel sat down on the grass and tried to piece together the situation. As absurd and frightening as this situation was, he couldn't let it shake him. If his time in the Wehrmacht had taught him one thing, it was discipline. No matter what the situation, no matter what was happening, he had to take a logical view on things.

"Perhaps," he mused, "I was shot in the head by a British bullet. These might be my brain's last desperate fantasies before I die."

He looked down at the grass that carpeted the hills around him. Every blade, every tiny dandelion was completely distinct, completely detailed. If his brain was generating all this, it must be working overtime.

"Then perhaps I am in Heaven." he continued. That sounded like a far more reasonable assumption.

Then something appeared. Something stranger, more bizarre, then even Rommel's magnificent intellect could ever quantify.

It was a winged unicorn. Rommel blinked and rubbed his eyes. Unicorns were the stuff of myth and legend- except this one wasn't. Its coat, mane and tail seemed to glow a blinding gold in the afternoon sunlight. Its beautiful feathered wings were furled against its sides, and its head and chest were decorated with gold. Its perfect lines made the big, heavy pack horses he used in Afrika seem as if they were carved by a sculptor who was earnest, well-intentioned, and more than a bit of a blockhead.

It was, without a doubt, the most majestic creature Rommel had ever witnessed.

"Hello, Desert Fox." it said calmly.

And it talks, too. Of course. Why wouldn't the winged unicorn also talk?

Either I'm in a different world, or I'm in a padded truck on my way to Berlin, thought Rommel wryly.

"Welcome to Equestria," the creature continued. "My name is Celestia. I'm the ruler of this realm."

Rommel realized it wasn't even speaking German! It was talking in a strange language that sounded vaguely similar to English. And yet somehow, he could still understand it. This day was getting rapidly more bizarre. He slowly rose to his feet and stood at attention.

"I... ah... hello." he said at last, uncharacteristically bewildered. "I am Feldmarshal Erwin Rommel." He took a deep breath to steady himself, and decided to take things one question at a time. "You're not speaking my language. How can I understand you?"

"Magic." answered the creature simply. And apparently it wasn't kidding. Under normal circumstances, Rommel would have said magic was a load of bullocks, but these certainly weren't normal circumstances.

"Where am I, and how did I get here?" he continued calmly, fighting to keep his composure. He just had to avoid thinking about the fact it was a talking horse he was addressing.

"As I said before, you are in Equestria." said the winged unicorn with a smile. "As for how you got here... I'm not quite sure myself. But I feel a very deep magical aura about you, one I haven't felt in a very long time." It continued, half to itself. "It must have been the Tree of Harmony... the Elements were lost long ago, but the Tree... perhaps it grew strong enough to invade another dimension, to spirit away a great warrior to help us in our war."

Rommel only picked up a few words here and there, but with swift thinking, he got the general idea. "You're saying some kind of... magical tree... took me away from my own world? So I can help you fight some kind of war?" He had heard of magical trees before. Oak trees that his heathen ancestors had once worshiped, sacrificing to Thor and other gods of wood and stone. But clearly the magical tree this horse was talking about was different. Rommel was here, after all, and that seemed to be a damn good proof that magic was real. At least in this world.

The creature nodded soberly. "Forgive my brevity, but we have to leave soon. I'm afraid your life, and mine, and everyone else's has just gotten more complicated than any of us might wish. I must take you to Canterlot." Seeing Rommel look blank, she explained: "To the capital."

Rommel had no idea what was going on anymore. He had given up trying to figure it out. All he knew is that something was offering him to take him somewhere, and that somewhere probably beat sitting by himself in a meadow. "Very well." he said, with a curt nod. Sometimes being a general meant pretending to know what you're doing, even if you have absolutely no idea. This was one of those times.

Once these horse-creatures made up their minds, they didn't waste any time. The winged unicorn's horn began to glow with a pale yellow light, and Rommel could feel his body start to go limp. "Don't worry, Desert Fox. It's just a teleportation spell..."

The next thing he knew, he was lying on a polished tile floor, gazing upward at an ornate golden ceiling. "What the devil just happened?!" he exclaimed, climbing to his feet. "Teleportation spell? What the devil is that?!"

The winged unicorn gave him a puzzled look. "... The wizards in your own world can't teleport?"

Rommel buried his head in his hands. "This is too much..." he muttered, "I cannot keep my discipline anymore. This is too much for my sanity to handle..."

He felt warm fur against his cheek, and slowly realized the creature was nuzzling him. It was the strangest thing: despite all that had happened, despite this utterly alien environment, somehow, someway... it felt comforting. Something deep within his soul couldn't help but lean forward and put his arms around the animal's neck. They stood that way for a long time, Rommel listening to the sound of its heartbeat and the steady rhythm of its breath. Its fur was so soft and warm, that for a moment he almost forgot where he was.

At last, they parted. He was still in a bizarre new world which threw the laws of physics and zoology out the window, but somehow... he felt like everything was going to work out. There was a deep feeling of decisiveness somewhere inside of him; his instincts as a general were starting to take over.

"I am ready." said Rommel confidently, brushing the white fur from his greatcoat. "I am ready for whatever this world throws at me. You say I am compelled by magic to come here and to help you fight a war, ja?"

"I'm sad to say that you are." replied the winged unicorn with an apologetic smile.

"Then it is assumable that whatever magic brought me here will send me back to Germany - that is, my world - when that end is accomplished?"

"I... I suppose." replied the creature thoughtfully.

"Then what are we waiting for?" inquired Rommel, clapping his hands together with a wide smile. "Let's get moving!"

Celestia led the way towards the palace, Rommel strutting confidently behind.

The two took a long, pleasant stroll through the streets of the Capital, during which there was a steady conversation. Rommel learned a few things about the Winged Unicorn. He learned that it was a female, her name was Celestia, and she was the Princess of Equestria. Apparently in this world, princesses and not queens were the highest rank of nobility. Was there nothing that made sense anymore?

In any case, Rommel felt bizarrely at home in the city of Canterlot. For all the absurd differences, such as the fact that it was populated by talking ponies, or the occasional dirigible that buzzed overhead, it wasn't so different from Lille, or any of the other medieval cities he had seen in his own world. The architecture was absolutely resplendent; it was perched on a cliff and built in high terraces, massive waterfalls cascading in canals through the city. It was as if the castle itself was a part of the natural landscape. Though he would never admit it, Rommel knew Canterlot was far more beautiful than Germany would ever be.

When he complimented the city, Celestia smiled sadly. "I just wish you had seen it in a time of peace, Desert Fox. It was far more beautiful then. As it stands, we've had to sacrifice much of the city's architecture to modernize in the face of war."

Rommel nodded sadly. He remembered when many cities in fair Germany had done the same during the Great War. Where once beautiful gardens and parks had been, looming grey factories spewed ash and smoke into the murky air. It would never be the same. But I don't have to worry about that now, he thought, an odd sense of peace overtaking him. Those troubles are a world away... literally.

Finally they arrived at the beautiful golden gates of The Palace. It was an elaborate affair, more so than anything he had ever seen in his own world. Sheer white towers, glimmering golden banners... it was magnificent.

Erwin Rommel and Princess Celestia strolled down the hallway side-by-side, the Desert Fox with his precise military steps and Celestia with her graceful royal gait. It's an odd situation, thought Rommel. He snorted before he could stop himself. THAT's the understatement of the century.

He was walking down the hallway with a blasted talking unicorn in a blasted magical kingdom of horses. This was the most absurd thing that was even imaginable. Yet here it was. The stonework that clicked beneath his black boots, the carved walls and stained-glass windows that were ornate enough to rival the Notre Dame in Paris. It was all so very real. And although the concepts were so absurd he couldn't dwell on them for fear of going mad, while he was there, it all seemed perfectly normal.

"So, what are things like?" asked Celestia quietly. "In your world, I mean."

"Not so different from here, all thing considered." responded Rommel lightly. "Earth is just as technologically advanced as your own culture. Just... in different ways."

"How so?" inquired Celestia, seeming genuinely curious.

The Desert Fox thought back for a moment, of all the wondrous things he had seen in Canterlot. The airships, the buildings, the trains. And yet the soldiers...

"Your Highness, if I may answer a question with a question, how is it that you are so advanced in technology, yet so primitive in warfare? I have seen zeppelins, streets, electricity... yet you still fight with the equivalent of sharpened sticks."

Celestia chuckled dryly. "I suppose you have a good point, Mr. Rommel."

The Desert Fox winced for a moment at the lack of proper military title. But, he decided, this was an entirely new world, one in which he wasn't even a military official. "Please, call me Erwin." he interrupted cordially.

"Very well, Erwin." Celestia smiled. "The truth is, we ponies are a peaceful race. Until this conflict, we haven't had a true war in almost a thousand years."

"You mean to tell me that you've had global peace for centuries?" This brought with it an entire host of new questions. How much could humanity have developed in that time, without the scourge of war and destruction? But then again, these ponies didn't seem to be any more advanced then humanity. Perhaps, he mused, peace wasn't as good for progress as people thought. Germany, after all, had been nothing but an impoverished wasteland after the First Great War. Yet, forged in the fire of war and conflict, she emerged stronger than ever before... though not without a price. Progress always came with a price. Rommel often wondered whether it was truly worth saving Germany if it had been reborn under the banner of the swastika. And there were rumors about the sinister machinations of Nazis and Waffen-SS back in the Vaterland. Rumors so terrible that, if they were true, would stain the Reich with a crime against humanity so horrific, it could never be forgotten.

Rommel shook his head, dismissing the notion. The rumors were probably false, as all rumors were; some mixture of misunderstanding and Allied propaganda. The people of Germany would never allow such an evil to transpire. He was a noble soldier, not a politician. His job was to carry out orders no matter who gave them, even if it was Nazi Dummköpfe like Heinrich Himmler and Alfred Jodl.

Rommel shook his head again, this time with a wry smile. Here he was in a land with talking winged unicorns, no visible way to escape, and he was still worrying about Germany. His swift mind was rambling, wondering off the course it had originally intended to take. He turned back to Celestia, intent on getting back to the topic at hand. "It is a most impressive achievement, Your Highness, maintaining peace for so long."

"Thank you." replied Celestia with a sad smile. "It's a shame it couldn't last. It seems that whenever you think the horrors of warfare are over, they merely spring anew from places you never expected."

Rommel nodded slowly. Perhaps this world wasn't quite as different as he thought.

Infantry Attacks

Celestia's soldiers were pretty damn talented. Rommel enjoyed watching them practice in the passes of the Alicorn Mountains, biding the time until Sombra would strike again. He had adjusted to this new world surprisingly quickly. To the horses (or ponies, as they called themselves) he was a very strange creature, but apparently strange creatures weren't a rarity in this world of magic and wizardry. Word soon spread through the whole kingdom (which was rapidly shrinking with Sombra on the advance), and the ponies didn't even seem uncomfortable in his presence anymore.

Presently he was standing on a small plateau where the warriors would practice their fighting. Swordmen- swordsponies? -would spar with one another, Pegasi would swoop and soar through the sky, and massive armored chariots would rumble through fake enemies made of straw.

"They’re very skilled," he said appreciatively, lowering his field glasses. "They are as well-trained as my own warriors in my own world."

"Fierce battle makes veterans out of even the greenest of recruits." Jet Set, the Royal Marshal, gave Rommel a contemptuous stare. He certainly didn't like this outlander tagging along with him, even if his Princess ordered it.

"The pegasi weaken the enemy line, the chariots tear a hole in it, then the infantry goes through?" asked Rommel politely. Panzers opened the way for infantry in his world. He figured chariots would do the job here.

But Jet Set just snorted in condescension. "I don't know what kind of mocked-up tactics they use in your world, Rommel. Here, chariots hold the line and Pegasi stay on the flanks, to harry the enemy. Infantry is in the rear to try and protect if things go wrong."

"Haven't you ever heard of the schwerpunkt?!" exclaimed Rommel, his eyes widening. The answer was 'no', of course, but he had asked the question in sheer reflex. Their tactics were just so utterly awful, he couldn't help but be horrified. In his own world the French had scattered their panzers all along the line. They'd paid for it, too, when German armored divisions punched through them. Rommel thought the same thing should work here. Why wouldn't it?

He removed a sheet of paper from his breast pocket, and began to jot down a vague battle plan with his fountain pen. Jet Set saw what he was doing and shook his head. "This is how we've always fought, we're not about to change it all now."

The Desert Fox could feel his infamous temper starting to rise. "Don't you want to win? Don't you want to beat back the Crystal Warriors??"

"We're not changing the way we fight just because some new-comer that the Princess favors thinks he knows better than a thousand years of military strategy!"

Rommel could feel the bile rising in the back of his throat. If there was one thing that angered him the most, it was self-important know-it-alls that refused to accept new ideas. It was like the Prussian nobility of the Great War all over again. "We'll see what the Princess thinks!" he declared. His clout with Celestia could get him a thing or two.

"If Her Majesty wishes to waste her time, that's her business." Jet Set sneered.

"She'll listen!" exclaimed Rommel, waving his baton in emphasis, "Why the devil not?! You're not winning with what you've got, because last time I checked, your enemies are at the gates of your capital!"

Jet Set didn't answer him. Rommel chose to believe that was because he couldn't answer him. The Marshal stalked off, leaving Rommel's battle plans like untranslated hieroglyphics. So much for that.

What would the charioteers think of being used as a breakthrough group? Only one way to find out, he thought, and walked over toward them. Their leader was a captain named Fancypants. The name was absurd, of course, but Rommel had heard so many absurd names that he didn't even question it anymore. Seeing Rommel standing at the edge of the field, Fancypants guided his chariot towards him. "Hail and well met!" exclaimed the captain. He wore a golden helmet with a roman-like crest. He removed it as he bowed to Rommel in greeting.

Rommel clicked his heels and returned the gesture. "Your men are strong and indomitable, and your chariots... they're a fine work of engineering, I must say." The Chariot was practically as armored as a tank. It was a bit ironic having a horse ride in a vehicle drawn by other horses, but the system worked surprisingly well. Rommel cast his line. "Want to be even stronger?"

Fancypants's eyes became suddenly sharp. "How?"

"I'll show you." beamed Rommel.

Fancypants leapt down from his chariot and stood next to the German. He smelled like sweat and leather and iron and horse, the scent momentarily drawing Rommel back to the First Great War. Shaking off the memories, he proceeded to explain his plan to charioteer. He drew a column and aimed it at a line. "You see, you charge and-" he stopped, waiting to see if Fancypants would get it.

And he did. His eyes lit up. "We charge, and we smash right through, and we tear out the blasted guts of whatever poor soul should get in our way!" He gestured excitedly. "Flash Sentry! Get over here! You've got to take a look at this!"

Another charioteer leapt from his mount. Fancypants explained the idea as well as Rommel could have himself- probably better because Fancypants was an actual working chariot officer. "What do you think, Flash?" he finished with a grin.

"Stinking Crystal soldiers won't be looking for it - that's for sure!" exclaimed Flash Sentry, "it'll give us a fighting chance just from surprise."

"What did Marshal Jet Set say? You were talking about it with him weren't you?" Fancypants was quick on the uptake.

"I'm afraid he doesn't like it." admitted Rommel quietly. "He thinks the old way is good enough."

"Old way is good enough? Ha! He'd be saying that while Canterlot burns!" exclaimed Fancypants vehemently. "That pony wouldn't know a good idea if it slapped him in the face!"

"I considered doing just that." replied Rommel with a wry smile. It seemed that even in another world, soldiers till had adamant opinions about their superiors.

"Don't worry, you can talk to Celestia." said Fancypants lightly. "She'll listen to you. By Tartarus, Flash and I will talk with her too. She's game for new things, so I think she'd go for this column fighting. Jet Set isn't a god, the three of us can cancel him out!"

Rommel smiled. "I'm ready to go whenever you are."

The Desert Fox gestured around the map with his baton to show Princess Celestia what he had in mind. He didn't do much talking. He didn't have to; Fancypants and Flash Sentry did it for him. They were exceedingly enthusiastic about his idea, filled with the convert's zeal.

Jet Set listened to the charioteers bragging about what they'd do if the Princess turned them loose to fight the way the wanted to. The Marshal didn't look like a happy man - er, pony.

"You can do this?" asked Celestia when the officers finished their excited exposition.

"Yes your majesty!" Flash Sentry and Fancypants chorused. "Once our chariots break through the enemy line, it's like breaking a turtle's shell! What's inside is meat- our meat."

"Hmmmmm." Celestia looked thoughtful. If she had a beard and a hand she probably would have stroked her chin. "What about you, Jet Set? You haven't had much to say."

"Everything sounds wonderful when you’re sitting in a comfortable throne room." replied the Marshal with a sneer. "How it'll work when we really try it out... that's liable to be a different story, and not such a pretty one."

"Nothing is perfect, your majesty!" exclaimed Rommel, his temper rising again at the Marshal's crack, "but how good is what you're doing now? Last time I checked, your enemies are knocking on your front door. Maybe it's time to try something new, something different."

"A good answer." replied Celestia with a smile.

"No, not so good!" cried Jet Set. "This... this outlander will risk our men, and our supplies, and our last slender hopes of victory. But where will he be? Someplace safe, that's where. While our soldiers die in the snow, he'll be reading a book by a warm fire!"

"I am too old to be a warrior," Rommel said. The Marshal sneered. Rommel held up a hand. "I'm not done yet. I am too old to be a warrior, but I'll ride at the front when the column charges." He bowed and clicked his heals towards the marshal. "I will ride there. Will you ride beside me? Or will you hang back like a coward?"

Fancypants sucked in a breath. Flash Sentry chuckled and then politely tried to pretend he hadn't. Rommel had just issued a brazen challenge, and Jet Set cared far too much about his reputation to act like a coward in front of his sovereign. "If the Princess orders this foolish scheme to go forward, you will not see me hanging back." he growled. "No miserable outlander will ever say he dares to go where I dare not to come with him."

"Good!" Rommel beamed. He ignored the insult, accepting the statement for the victory that it was. "We will ride out together, and together we shall crush the Crystal Warriors. Nothing else matters. You do not have to like me, Marshal, you only have to wish for victory. That is all I want."

Jet Set growled again. "You want to make a big name for yourself, show everyone how smart you are, eh? Just be careful you don't outsmart yourself."

The German only shrugged. "What can I do? Where can I go? I am trapped here until I die, or until I give victory to this kingdom. Make no mistake, I will do my very best to bring victory to Princess Celestia."

"Then it's decided!" exclaimed Celestia with grin. It was fierce and decisive, and seemed odd on such soft, gentle features.

"Yes, your majesty." muttered Jet Set. By the way he agreed, he would rather go on the rack than do anything Rommel suggested.

But if Celestia saw anything wrong with the way her marshal agreed, she didn't let on. She stomped her hoof on the cold tile floor of the palace. "Then we will prepare a counter-attack at once!" she declared. The Fuhrer could not have been more decisive.

Author's Note

The chapter title is named after the book Rommel wrote after the First World War. It became a best-seller, and is even used by modern armed forces as a bible for military tactics. I personally just read it so I could say- well, I'm sure you know the quote :P

Twilight of Canterlot

Moonlight flowed through the window, illuminating the massive bathroom. Rommel quietly sang Panzerlied as he turned on the water.

Mit donnernden Motoren, geschwind wie der Blitz,

Dem Feinde entgegen, im Panzer geschützt,

Voraus den Kameraden, im Kampfe stehn wir allein, stehn wir allein.

So stoßen wir tief in die feindlichen Reih'n.

The Pony showers were too small for the Wehrmacht officer, so a bath would have to suffice. Princess Celestia had been kind enough to surrender the Guest Wing of the palace since it had the only bathtub large enough. It was usually reserved for foreign guests and ambassadors, but those had obviously been in short supply lately, and in any case the Desert Fox seemed to fit that description.

The quarters seemed impossibly comfortable after so much time in the field. As the Feldmarschall, Rommel could have had a better quarters in Afrika, but whenever it was possible, he preferred to endure the same challenges as his troops. During the First Great War, when he had been a mere Oberleutnant, he had despised the self-inflated Prussian nobility, and the way they sent their troops into the horrors of warfare while relaxing in a luxurious headquarters. A true general should always lead from the front.

So when Rommel became a general, and later a field marshal, he always tried to be relatable to his troops. He ate with them, slept with them, and even fought alongside them. He was never too proud to do what needed done, no matter how menial. The Allied generals rambled on about being outwitted by his brilliant strategy and tactics, but Rommel knew the true secret to his success: leading his troops by example. Out of all the nations arrayed against Germany, only the troops of Amerika seemed to understand this concept.

"Heaven help us if they join the War in earnest..." he muttered, stepping into the bathtub. But now he had more pressing issues at hand. To even return to the Vaterland, he would have to gain victory on this... unique battlefield. Could modern tactics of tanks and airplanes really apply to unicorns and pegasi? That was certainly not a set of tactics he learned at Danzig.

But he willed himself to drop his worries and relax, if only for a little while. Do not worry about tomorrow, let tomorrow worry about itself...

The Desert Fox strolled proudly down the hallway, admiring the beautiful architecture of the palace. Morning sunlight streamed through the stained-glass windows, making the golden walls and floor seem to glow. After so long in the beige war-torn deserts of Afrika, it was like... well, like being in another world.

He saluted the guards at the door before striding into the throne room.

Celestia was standing at a large map table, surrounded by various subordinates and nobles. Seeing Rommel walk in, she smiled warmly. "Good morning, Desert Fox."

"Heil Hi-" he began in reflex, starting to raise his arm. That salute, he realized to his relief, was no longer necessary. Instead he bowed and clicked his heals. "Ah, good morning, Princess. How goes the planning of war?"

"It goes well," she replied lightly. "Did you sleep well last night? I hope our quarters weren't too primitive."

"No!" He exclaimed, "they were perfect. Thank you. Though, if you have a moment, there is something I would like to ask."

Celestia motioned him to continue.

"I was wondering who made this uniform." he said, gesturing to his clothing. It had been hanging on his door when he awoke. It was absolutely beautiful, a golden tunic like one a Roman Legionnaire might have worn. But elements of his own uniform were incorporated, like an Imperial Eagle on the right chest, and a gold visor cap with blue trim. It was absolutely resplendent.

Celestia just smiled. "That would be our Chief Uniform Designer, Rarity Belle. She saw your garb while you were inspecting the troops yesterday, and she couldn't help making something based on it. She thought yours looked a little... old. So she made a new one for you. With a classic Equestrian flair, of course.

"Tell her I appreciate it," said Rommel sincerely, "even in my own world I have never seen anything like it. It is beautiful."

"I will. But as it stands, Desert Fox, there are other things to attend to. Our soldiers won't be ready for the counter-attack until at least tomorrow. Perhaps you'd like to take a brief walk around our fair city?"

Rommel smiled. He wouldn't mind seeing more of this beautiful place. "If you're sure I wouldn't be of more use here?"

"My officers aren't total idiots." Celestia replied with a grin. "I think we'll manage. Besides, you need time to relax. Changing dimensions might be a little hard on your human mind - no offense."

"None taken." replied Rommel lightly.

"In any case, I think I'll send my secretary to escort you. She knows the city very well."

"Please, Princess, I don't need a lot of fuss. All available resources should be put towards the war effort."

"I insist. My secretary needs a break just as much as you do."

Rommel sighed. "As you wish. Who is this pony?"

Celestia smiled softly. "Her name is Twilight Sparkle."

She gestured to a lavender unicorn sitting in the corner. She was busily scratching on a scroll with a quill, and didn't even notice her name being mentioned. Up to this point Rommel had only seen the majestic Princess Celestia, and the burly soldiers and captains of the military. This was the first time he saw an ordinary pony. It was absolutely adorable. If he could have, he would have hugged it and patted its head like his pet Dachshund. But he would die before he admitted that, of course. Being in an alternate reality with talking horses didn't mean he had left his pride behind - just most of his sanity.

"Nice to meet you, Twilight." he said with a smile.

The unicorn stirred from her relentless writing, and looked up at the Wehrmacht officer. "I... ah... hello!" She squeaked, suddenly realizing that Celestia and the Desert Fox had been staring at her.

"I was wondering if you might accompany me on a walk around town?" offered Rommel politely.

Twilight looked at Celestia, then Rommel, then back at Celestia. The Princess rolled her eyes as if to say 'yes, Twilight, of course you can go' and nodded.

"I would be happy to!" beamed the unicorn. She carefully stowed her quill and scroll under the chair before prancing towards the door. "Come on, we can get some ice cream!"

The streets seemed far more lively than they had the previous day. Merchants were out and about selling their wares, ponies chattered and talked in the streets and alleys. There was something new in the air, something different. Something like-

"Hope." said Twilight. Rommel suddenly realized he had been talking out loud. "They have hope now, Desert Fox," continued the unicorn, "and you gave it to them. Before you came, we had no chance of victory, but now? A great warrior is sent from the heavens to save us? It's a miracle!"

Hope is the most important of all things. It is more valuable than gold, more powerful than a bomb, more useful then an Opel-Blitz engineering truck. It was hope that moved armies, raised leaders, built nations. Even the the Nazi Party, which had seized control of Germany, was powered by hope. Hope for change, hope for a better future. Hope is what made the Blitzkrieg so effective; striking quickly and capturing key objectives removed hope from your foe, and the rest was easy. Hope was the lifeforce of humanity.

That he could inspire that in people- er, ponies- was a compliment greater than any he had ever heard before. "Thank you," he said sincerely, looking the unicorn in the eye.

Twilight just glanced up innocently, unaware the effect her words had on the Desert Fox. "No problem." she replied with a grin. "So, are we going to get that ice-cream or what?"

It had been years since Rommel had eaten ice cream. It was better than he remembered it. Cool, sweet and creamy. He had never really had a sweet tooth, but this was amazing. But even better was the affable company of the unicorn which sat beside him on a park bench, swinging her legs and chatting cheerfully.

"There is one thing I want to know," said the Desert Fox between bites of Rocky Road. "I've noticed that all the horses here have pictures on their flank. What do they mean?"

Twilight cocked her head. "Humans don't have cutie marks?"

Rommel raised an eyebrow. "Ah... no."

"Oh," said Twilight, looking puzzled. "Well, to sum it up, they tell us what our destiny is."

"You're born knowing exactly what you're going to do in life?" he asked, slightly in awe.

"No! Well, we're not born with them," Twilight hurried to correct. "They... well, it's a little difficult to explain. When a foal is very young, they... pardon me, Desert Fox, it's hard to explain something that's so natural to our culture. It's like trying to explain breathing."

Rommel chuckled good-naturedly. "That's alright." He thought he got the general idea. It sounded a little like the caste system in India, where children immediately knew their lot in life. Though Twilight said it like there was some choice in the matter. Choosing what you have to do for your entire life when you're just a child? There was a terrifying proposition. Rommel had no idea what he wanted to be when he was young. If humanity had 'cutie marks' he'd probably be a math professor or an engineer. "What does yours mean?"

Twilight blushed a little. "Mine? Er, it means I'm supposed to be good at magic. I got it when I... well, I guess I should start at the beginning." Rommel looked at her expectantly. "You see, before the War, Celestia ran a school for gifted unicorns. I completely failed my entrance exam. I failed it. But I aced the written part of the test, and even though I couldn't go to magic school, Celestia hired me as a secretary of sorts. I do odd jobs like opening doors and taking notes and making sure she's safe all the time."

"Like a valet?" asked Rommel curiously.

"A... what?"

Bizzare pony-world. Right. What would be a good comparison? "Like a squire?" he tried again.

Twilight brightened. "Yeah! Just like that! I never really thought of it that way before!"

Rommel idly wondered what his cutie mark would be if he had one. A panzer for his love of armored tactics? Or maybe an Iron Cross for his loyalty to the Vaterland? His mind inevitably went back to Twilight. "So you have a talent for magic?" he asked, "what does that do, exactly? This system of pony sorcery is new to me."

"Well, it helps me to learn new spells more quickly. And I can use more powerful spells, too."

Rommel considered asking her about how ponies 'learned' new spells, and what kinds of spells even existed. But he decided that magic was far too complicated a venture to begin now. Instead he merely leaned back with a small smile. "You know, Twilight Sparkle, I have magic too."

"Really?" Twilight cocked her head.

"My soldiers say I do," responded Rommel jokingly, "they call it Fingerspitzengefühl." He willed the last word to come out in German, as he doubted the meaning would translate. "It means I have an almost psychic intuition. I don't believe in magic- at least not magic in my own world -but I cannot deny I have a... an instinctive feeling when it comes to tactics and lines of battle."

Twilight smiled wryly. "Well, Desert Fox, that might be more useful to us than all the magic that all the unicorns in the world can conjure."

New Friends

Erwin Rommel and Twilight Sparkle had a long and pleasant conversation, but lunch was quickly approaching. So the Desert Fox bid his pony companion a fond farewell and set off towards the throne room.

He was still awe-struck at the Palace's beauty and architecture. The hallway to the throne room was lined with massive stained glass windows that rivaled the cathedrals of his own world. A hundred different windows showed a hundred different scenes from what he assumed was Equestrian legend and history. Many of them featured Princess Celestia, and many more pictured a dark blue pony whom he had yet to meet. It was clear the pony was a winged unicorn like Celestia, and from the appearance of the artwork, was equally as powerful and respected. A deceased sibling perhaps? Rommel made a mental note to cautiously ask the Princess about it.

He was just about to arrive at the doors when he collided with a white unicorn coming the other way. He had been so busy admiring the artwork; he hadn't been watching where he was going. "Pardon me." he said, extending a hand.

The unicorn had been knocked off balance by the much larger human, and lay prostrate on the floor. It daintily accepted the Desert Fox's hand, and was pulled to its feet. "Excuse me, Darling," she said, apparently a female, "I was so busy looking over these new designs I didn't even see you." She giggled and brushed off her coat.

"The fault is mine," responded Rommel with a smile. "Designs? If I may ask, what manner of designs are they?"

"Why, uniform designs of course!" Exclaimed the unicorn, levitating a few papers towards him. "I'm Rarity Belle. I design the clothing for our armed forces."

Rommel nodded as he looked over the designs. He was no fashion expert, of course, but he could tell they were absolutely stunning. "Then you're the one I have to thank for my new uniform? Words cannot describe the quality and beauty of this outfit, Miss Belle."

Rarity's eyes sparkled. "Well... thank you, Desert Fox. You're too kind. I really just threw it together..."

Rommel laughed incredulously. "Threw it together?? Then Miss Rarity, I would love to see what happens when you try. In any case... thank you for your gift. It was incredibly generous."

"Thank you, Darling!" exclaimed the unicorn, "but I'm afraid I must be off. I have to deliver these designs before production starts on the new uniforms. It was nice meeting you!" With a little wave she galloped down the hallway, the papers trailing behind her.

"Farewell!" exclaimed Rommel after her. She seemed like a nice enough pony. He hoped he got the chance to see her again.

But in the mean time, he had to report to Princess Celestia and receive his next assignment. He cast a grave salute towards the guards on either side of the throne room doors, and entered.

"I have returned from my furlough, Princess." He announced, bowing and clicking his heals.

Celestia was sitting quietly on her throne, head propped up by her arm. "Ah... Desert Fox." She looked up at him and smiled. "There you are! I was hoping you could talk to the Pegasi about your... what was it called? Lightning Warfare tactics?"

Rommel nodded. The translation wasn't perfect, but it would suffice.

"They have a new commander named Spitfire. She's a good soldier, but she's very proud, and she's not willing to accept the tactics suggested by the charioteers."

Understandable. The various branches of service had rivalries in his own world as well. If the Waffen-SS tried to tell him how to fight, he wouldn't listen either.

"In any case," continued the Princess, "I was hoping you might try to convince her."

"Ja'vohl!" Exclaimed Rommel. In reflex, he had accidentally willed the words to come out in German. "Yes, ma'am!" he translated.

"Excellent! I'll teleport you there at once!"

Rommel's confidence suddenly disappeared. He still wasn't entirely comfortable with the... unnatural feeling of changing dimensions. But there was no going back. Celestia's horn glowed a soft gold, and he felt himself slip into darkness.

The darkness exploded like an artillery shell, light and matter suddenly springing into existence. He reeled backwards a moment before steadying himself, eyes darting quickly around his new environment. He was standing in a large, flat meadow filled with pitched tents of blue and gold. It was a military camp; for once a situation he felt comfortable with. Armed ponies walked back and forth, the distant bark of drill sergeants echoing through the cool mountain air. It was colder here then it was in the city, just enough to make it uncomfortable. Rarity had failed to make him a parka along with his new clothing, so he continued to clasp his rugged grey Wehrmacht Great Coat around his shoulders. It looked odd alongside his pristine Equestrian uniform, but it kept him warm.

First things first, he should find this 'Spitfire'. Before he could wave down a soldier, a meteor came screaming down from the heavens. At least it seemed like a meteor, but glimpsing it in the half-second before the collision, it resembled a rainbow. Rommel had been through many airstrikes in the wide brown sands of Afrika, but never before had he seen the sheer speed and power of a pegasus in a dive. Before he knew it, he was thrown backwards like a rag doll, arms and legs flailing helplessly like a man caught in the outer radius of an explosive shell. He crashed back to the ground with shuttering force. His ears were ringing, his vision was blurry, and for a few brief moments he wondered if he was doomed to die far from his Vaterland.

"Hey there," said a slightly-concerned voice, "you alright, sir?"

Rommel's vision began to clear. He was lying on the ground and staring up at large magenta eyes. A blue pegasus was standing above him, with a rainbow-colored mane and an uncertain smile. "I, uh, I didn't mean to hurt you," she said uneasily, shifting from one hoof to the other. "I was just doing my training for the day, and... I guess it got a little out of control. I hit the ground a few feet from you."

Rommel blinked a few times, and patted himself down. Nothing felt broken... "Thank you for asking," he said with a glare as he scrambled to his feet, "though next time perhaps you could refrain from making suicide dives into-" he paused mid-sentence, annoyance turned to awe. "You hit the ground at that speed? And you're alive?!"

The cyan pegasus cocked her head. "Yeah...? Come on, it would take more than that to injure a flier like me."

Rommel just shook his head. Apparently pony physics were much different from his own world. That much he knew already, but seeing it in practice like that... there were some things he would never get used to. "In any case, how about you make yourself useful and tell me where I can find Commander Spitfire?"

The pegasus grinned. "Yeah! I mean, yes, sir! I can take you there if you want!"

Rommel mentally flinched. Riding on a pegasus to begin with wasn't something he wanted to attempt, but a pegasus this reckless? There was a reason he had joined the Heer instead of the Luftstreitkräfte. "Thank you, but I think I can make it there myself."

The pegasus shrugged. "Suit yourself. I could walk with you if you'd like, though. The camp is a little hectic, so you might have trouble finding your way."

"Alright," said Rommel with a curt nod, "I could use the company."

The Pegasus was surprisingly decent company. Her name was Rainbow Dash and she had a propensity to constantly talk about her own exploits and accomplishments. But Rommel honestly didn't mind; it helped him learn more about the history of the Crystal War. He, in turn, shared his ideas for new tactics, giving a brief description of the basic concepts of Blitzkrieg. Dash, if possible, had seemed even more enthusiastic than Fancypants had been.

"THAT'S SO AWESOME!" She practically screamed. Rommel raised a hand to shield his ear from the direct bombardment. "OH MY GOSH, THAT'S SO BRILLIANT! I'VE GOTTA SEE IF SPITFIRE WILL LET ME SPEARHEAD AN ASSAULT!"

Rommel appreciated her enthusiasm, even if the volume was a little louder than he would like. Enthusiasm was normally a mark of green recruits, but judging from how long this war had been going on, Dash was anything but.

"Well, I guess this is the place," said Rainbow Dash with a smile. The command tent was about twice the size of the others, and large Equestrian banners were staked into the ground on either side of the door. It had an almost Mongolian look to it.

"Thank you," said Rommel sincerely, "I greatly enjoyed your company." He bowed cordially and clicked his heels.

"Well there was no way I was going to leave you after knocking you off balance like that!"

Rommel hid a small smile. If he had knocked over an officer back in the Deutsches Heer, he would have run for his life. "Your loyalty is admirable," he said seriously, "that will be of much use in the coming days. Such loyalty deserves compensation. I promise I won't mention anything about the, ah, accident to Commander Spitfire."

"Really?!" Exclaimed Rainbow Dash with a wide grin, "thanks, sir!"

Rommel saluted and walked away. Such genuine excitement was rare among the veteran Afrika Korps in his own world. It cheered him a little to see a soldier so light-hearted and full of joy. It reminded him of his days in the Reichswehr of the Weimar Republic just after the Great War, when it appeared that all the worst was over in Europe.

And there I go worrying about Germany again... Fretting about something I have no control over will do no good at all...

But in any case, I hope I get to see that cyan pegasus again someday.

Erwin Rommel leaned against the wall with a sigh. The setting sun filtered through the stained glass windows of the palace, casting a rainbow of colors along the floor. The largest of the windows pictured Princess Celestia surrounded by the Elements of Harmony.

It hadn't been hard convincing Spitfire of the new tactics. When she realized it wasn't just a selfish play on the part of the charioteers, she quickly agreed to the plan. She was headstrong, but she knew when to withdraw.

Now Rommel felt exhausted. In addition to the strain of being in a completely different dimension, the difference in daylight gave him an awful case of desynchronosis. But fortunately, an equally-exhausted Twilight Sparkle had just gotten off work, and stood beside him.

"So the Elements... they're jewels?" He asked, gazing at the massive glass artwork before him.

"... sort of," replied Twilight, "it's a little hard to explain. They're sort of... embodiments. The purest form of their respective Elements. There's Honesty, Kindness, Loyalty, Generosity, Laughter and Magic; the very essence of a pony's soul. When they combine, their magic is very powerful."

"So these... stones... embody these elements?"

"Something like that." Twilight shook her head, rubbing her eyes with a hoof. "As much as I'd like to answer all your questions, I'm exhausted. Maybe we could resume the quizzing tomorrow?"

Rommel chuckled. "I'm terribly sorry, Ms. Sparkle. How terribly impolite of me to keep you awake. I was so entranced with this artwork, I didn't even think about how tired you must be. Please, take your leave."

Twilight looked up with large indigo eyes. "It was nice talking to you, Desert Fox. I'll see you tomorrow." She gave a small smile and disappeared down the hall.

Rommel silently studied the stained glass for a long while. Finally, as the last shreds of sunset disappeared into the western mountains, he turned on his heel and walked towards the library. As exhausted as he was, he had a lot of research to do.

Author's Note

Yes, I'm still alive! No, this story will not die! I apologize that the updates have taken so long. I do my very best to pour as much quality into this story as humanly possible, and it takes a while to read, re-read, re-re-read, etc :P

But have no fear! Though my updates may come slowly, I promise this story will never die. I have a complete plot sketched out, along with a sequel when I get around to it. This story is my A-1 priority.

And as always, thank you so much for reading :)