I'm not sure that confident, outgoing ponies can really understand what it's like to be anxious and shy.
When an outgoing pony becomes friends with a shy pony they always assume that the shy pony just needs encouragement. Lots of encouragement. Sometimes that just means pep talks, other times it means they try to drag you into social events by your tail. Then, when you try to explain that going out in public so much is exhausting, they assume that means you don't like them. After all, nothing makes them happy and energized like hanging out with friends so if it's so tiring for you then you must not consider them a real friend.
Then the shy pony has to try desperately to explain that they really do think they're a friend and they do enjoy being with friends, it just makes them tired and they need time to themselves to rest. If the shy pony manages to convince their outgoing friend, then they get to move on to the next misunderstanding. And the next. And the next.
'Couldn't you see he was smiling?'
Of course I could see he was smiling. But why was he smiling? Was it because he was happy with me? Was he just being polite? Was he just having a nice day? Was he hiding how irritated he actually was? How do other ponies tell?
'Why are you freaking out? They weren't even mad!'
I know they weren't mad. I know it was an accident and no harm was done. Couldn't anypony understand that knowing nothing was wrong and feeling nothing was wrong weren't the same thing?
'Can't you at least try to look happy?'
But I was happy! I was smiling! Wasn't smiling enough to look happy? Couldn't I just be happy without proving it? Was there something wrong with my smile?
'Louder!'
I don't like to get loud. Being loud makes everypony look at me and I don't like it when everypony looks at me. Wasn't it enough that I was trying?
'I don't get why you're making such a big deal out of this!'
Because I'm confused and worried. There's too much happening at once and I don't know what to deal with first and it's just too much! Why are you so mad at me? Why are you making me do all these things that I don't want to do?
On and on and on it goes.
If a shy pony is very lucky she'll make very good friends. Friends who will learn to just let the shy pony be shy sometimes. Friends who will accept that the shy pony needs to just be allowed. Accepted, shyness and all. Sometimes the outgoing pony is right. Sometimes a shy pony needs encouragement, needs a push to overcome her anxiety. Sometimes the shy pony really does need to be pulled to some public event by her tail. But not every day. Not even every month. I am very lucky to have found friends like that.
Friends who can understand that meeting Princess Celestia one-on-one might be just a little terrifying.
“Now, I know you're worried,” Twilight said gently. “But you can trust me on this. She's already talked to all of us so this meeting should be nice and short. She won't need you to recap as much as the rest of us did.”
“Did… did you plan that?” I asked Twilight's fetlocks. Try as I might I couldn't raise my head high enough to say it to her face.
“I thought it might make it easier for you. Does it help?”
“M-maybe a little.”
“Would you like me to go in with you?” I shook my head.
“N-no, I'll be okay.” I ruffled my wings and tried to straighten up. “She just wants to talk, right?”
“That's right.”
“O-okay. I'm ready.”
Twilight lifted her hoof and tapped three times on the ornately gilded door of Princess Celestia's study.
“Please, come in.”
“I'll be right out here if you need me,” Twilight said. Her horn lit up and she pushed the door open with her magic.
Princess Celestia sat on a luxurious, red chair that was sized to fit her tall, regal frame. A round coffee table made of rich mahogany stood between her and the door, laden with a relatively plain, pink tea set and a number of simple teacakes. A number of other, smaller chairs, sized for more ordinary ponies, but no less luxuriant for it, sat clustered around the table in an open semi-circle.
“Good afternoon, Fluttershy. Thank you for joining me.”
My voice caught in my throat, emerging as little more than a nervous squeak. I decided to nod instead.
“Please, come in. Make yourself comfortable.” I looked over at Twilight who nodded encouragingly and motioned with a hoof towards the door. I swallowed hard and stepped into the room. It was less fancy than I had expected. The tapestries were relatively simple designs and soft colors. The desk was sized for the Princess and the wood matched her coffee table, but it was otherwise ordinary. The carpet, on the other hoof, rivaled some of my quilts for softness.
It took me longer than it should have to cross the room and clamber into a chair. I could have flown, of course, but I was so nervous I doubted that my wings would even open. Once seated I tried not to avoid the Princess's eyes too much. I didn't want to be rude.
Celestia's horn shimmered with yellow light and I heard the double doors swing closed, although I didn't hear them latch. Something about that made the tense knot around my heart ease just a little. The focus of her magic shifted to the tea set, lifting the teapot and a teacup.
“Would you care for some chamomile?”
“O-oh! Y-yes of course.” The Princess poured out a steaming cup of fresh tea and sat the cup and saucer at the edge of the table closest to me, easily within reach once my forelegs were a little steadier.
“It's a little hot at the moment, I hope you don't mind letting it cool first. Sugar?”
“N-not at all. And y-yes, please, if it's not too much trouble, I mean.” The Princess simply smiled and levitated a single cube into my tea while she poured herself a cup with two sugars.
“Why don't we start at the beginning?”
“Um. Which? I mean do you mean when the uh, chaos started or, um, when we went into the maze?”
“The maze. Your friends have given me very detailed accounts of most of yesterday's events. I won't ask you to repeat what they've told me.”
“O-okay. Um, is there anything specific you'd like me to focus on?”
“Anything that feels important to you. Especially anything about your first encounter with Discord.”
“Well, after he t-took my wings away and separated us I, um, cowered for a while. Discord was so big and scary and his magic was...” I shuddered. “Terrifying. I, um, didn't get very far through the maze.”
“Considering what Discord was doing to the maze that is not surprising. He was rearranging it constantly while you were in there. No matter how fast or slow you went you would have arrived exactly where he wanted you to, when he wanted you to.”
“Oh.”
“Did anything unusual happen while you were navigating the labyrinth?”
“N-nothing much. It was so quiet in there. I think he scared all the animals away. I didn't see anything until I met the butterflies.”
“Butterflies?”
“Yes. Three of them just like my, um, well, just like my cutie mark now that I think about it.”
“I see. What did you do when you saw them?”
“I chased them. I was so frightened I didn't want to be alone in there. But it was strange...”
“Yes?”
“Well, when I caught up to them it was in a clearing. And they spoke to me. O-oh, I mean they spoke like a pony would speak, not like a butterfly. Not at all. And they all looked a little like Discord.”
“I'm sure they were Discord.”
“Oh. I thought that, um, maybe they were just an illusion?”
“Discord is skilled with illusions but he can just as easily make his games very real. He can become anything at will, even multiple things at once. I have no doubt that those butterflies were Discord himself. What did he say to you?”
“He told me that my friends had abandoned me. That they thought I was weak and helpless. That it must hurt how they always pointed out my flaws.”
Celestia closed her eyes for a moment. She looked sad to hear what he'd told me but not surprised. “I expected as much.”
“W-why?”
“It is one of his favorite techniques. He used it against your friends as well. He turns his victims' strengths against them by telling a painful truth to an honest mare or tempting a generous one with a fantastic gift. All he has to do is open your mind just a crack. Just the sort of thing that gets under your skin for a while, something that plants a seed of doubt. Then he uses his magic to force that seed to grow, turning your personality inside out until you're a puppet for his schemes.”
“Oh.”
“There's no shame in succumbing to his mind games. He is-”
“But I didn't. Oh! I'm sorry!” I gasped when Celestia looked at me in surprise. “I didn't mean to interrupt!”
“It's quite alright, my little pony. But what did you mean? You didn't succumb?”
“Um, I don't think so? I'm not really sure.” Celestia shifted in her seat, focusing on me far more intently than she had before. I shrank back a little more than I should have.
“What exactly happened?”
“O-oh, u-uhm. W-well, he said that my 'so called friends' had abandoned me. I knew my friends would come for me and I knew they were trying their best and I told him so. Next he told me that it must be horrible to know how weak and helpless they thought I was.”
“And this truly didn't bother you?”
“Oh, not at all. I am weak and helpless. It means a lot that my friends know that and are still willing to be my friends and help me when I need them to. I told him that, too.”
“I see. And then?”
“Well, then he said, um, he said that it must 'burn me up' the way that they pointed out my flaws.”
Celestia had a small frown on her face that was starting to worry me. “And this still did not trouble you?”
“Not really. It's not as though they go out of their way to point them out all the time. Usually it's just because they want to help me overcome them. It doesn't always work but I know they just want me to be the best I can be.”
“You told him this as well?”
I nodded. At that moment it struck me that we'd both left our tea untouched. “Oh, I'm sorry, we've been talking so much you haven't gotten to drink your tea.”
“Don't worry about that,” Celestia said kindly. “Please, continue your story. I'm finding it… most interesting.”
“Oh, is it really? I-I mean, yes your Highness. Um, yes. I told him that too and then, um, I think I made him mad,” I whispered. “The butterflies disappeared into thin air and then he appeared.”
“What did he do?”
“I-I'm not sure. I remember him saying 'Oh, for goodness sake!'. Then I think… I think he hit me?”
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “You think? You aren't certain?” I shook my head.
“Suddenly he was right in front of me and something hit me just here,” I put the tip of a forehoof to the crown of my head. “Things get fuzzy after that. I think he said… something like 'time to be cruel'? I'm sorry, I really don't remember too well.”
Celestia looked at me very strangely. It was like she was searching my face for something. Heat rose up into my cheeks and I ducked my head a little so that my mane fell across my face. Had I said something wrong?
After several long seconds Celestia broke her gaze and levitated her teacup to her lips. I took the cue to scoop up my own cup and saucer from the table with my forehooves. The tea was still warm and just a little sweet from the sugar cube that had long since dissolved away. It was really rather nice, and I found myself draining the entire cup in a single go. All that talking had made me thirsty.
“Thank you for telling me this, Fluttershy. You've been very brave and very helpful.”
“Oh, I didn't really do much. It was Twilight who really saved the day.” Celestia smiled once more.
“Do not sell yourself short, my little pony. Everypony played their part in yesterday's events. Now,” she poured us both fresh cups of tea. “There's one last thing I would like to ask. After you and your friends parted ways in Ponyville after your failed attempt to use the Elements of Harmony against him, did you encounter Discord again before the final confrontation?”
“I don't think so. Everything after I met him in the maze is a little bit of a blur. It was all like some terrible nightmare that I just couldn't wake up from. It's hard to remember many details.”
“I see. Thank you again. You've been very helpful today. Is there anything you would like to ask me?”
“Oh!” I hadn't expected her to answer any questions. Truth be told I had a few that were bothering me but I wasn't sure if I should ask them. I knew my friends would think they were strange and I didn't want to upset the Princess...
But I had to know.
“Um, yes. The Elements. Do you think they… do they hurt?”
“Hurt? Did using them hurt you?”
“Oh, no, I'm okay. I'm worried about-” I hesitated. No, I had to know. “I'm worried about Discord.”
Celestia's eyebrows shot up high. Whatever she had thought I might ask that certainly hadn't been it.
“You're worried about Discord?”
“Yes?” I said tentatively. “It's just… he looked so frightened. Do you think he'll be okay? Oh, I hope it didn't hurt. I couldn't stand it if we hurt him. I just wish there had been some other way to stop him. I can't imagine how awful it must be to be turned entirely to stone like that. Oh no, do you think he's still awake in there? Oh goodness, that would be so awful! Um, your highness?”
Celestia had turned away from me and looked towards one of the windows. I could tell she was thinking about something. Something serious. Slowly though, a tiny smile began to tug at the corners of her mouth. There was something… strange about it. It wasn't her usual kind, serene smile. This one was almost mischievous. There was a glint in her eye that reminded me of Rainbow Dash right before she tried some daredevil stunt. Then it was gone and she was back to her tranquil self.
“I'm sorry, Fluttershy. I shall be honest with you, I cannot say for certain what Discord is experiencing, if anything. My sister never complained of pain from her encounters with the Elements, although given the difference in their effects on her compared to Discord, I cannot promise you anything. I can tell you that he acted much the same after his imprisonment as he did before it. As for the future, well...” That mischievous glint flickered in her eye again. “We'll just have to wait and see.”
We each took a sip from our tea. It really was very nice. I suppose it's only natural that the Princesses would have the best tea in Equestria. It was so strange to think that I was having tea with Princess Celestia. Doing something so ordinary with somepony so extraordinary was surreal.
“I will not keep you any longer. No doubt you are eager to get some rest. Though I hope you will attend the ceremony honoring you and your friend's triumph?”
“Um, I'll try.”
“That is all I can ask. Although... there is one last thing.”
“Um, yes?”
“Have you told anypony else the details of happened between you and Discord?”
“Not really. I don't think anypony wants to think about it too much.”
“I would like to ask you to keep it between us. I have taken steps to keep what is said here today away from prying ears. Elsewhere, however...” She looked back at the shuttered window again, that distant, thoughtful look back on her face. Then she met my eyes with an expression far more serious than anything I'd seen that day. “May I count on your discretion?”
“O-oh, um, of course, your highness.”
Her smile returned. “Thank you, my little pony.”
When I left Celestia's study a short time later Twilight was waiting for me.
“How did it go?” she asked eagerly as soon as the doors shut behind me.
“I'm… not sure,” I answered. She started off down the hall, leading me back the way she'd brought me in.
“Well, it wasn't bad, right?”
“Oh, no, it wasn't bad. She was very nice and understanding, just like you said. It's just...” I looked back down the long, elegant hall.
“Fluttershy?” Twilight shook me out of my thoughts with a light touch on my foreleg. “Is something bothering you?”
“Oh! U-um, no. I mean, it was a little intimidating, is all.” Twilight laughed softly.
“She intimidated me at first, too. I mean, the Princess Celestia, right?”
With that, Twilight was off on a ramble about her own early meetings with the Princess. Celestia was a topic that she could often go on about in detail. I let Twilight's words wash over me without really taking them in. Celestia's last request was odd, that was true, but there was something else she'd said that bothered me more.
What did she mean by 'We'll just have to wait and see'?
Author's Note
Thank you for taking the time to read this story. I'd welcome any and all feedback and/or critique. I'd especially appreciate any advice on which groups to submit this to. I'm still rather new to this site and not all that familiar with groups.
This is planned to be one of a series of short stories but I don't have a hard and fast idea of how many there will be in total or how frequently they'll arrive. Future installments will focus primarily on Fluttershy and her usual tea party guest: Discord.
