Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump…
It was a physical sensation, more than a sound.
A powerful wave that passed through me.
From all around.
Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump…
It was dark.
No scents.
Nothing touched me.
I felt light as a feather.
A feather being rhythmically drummed in the darkness.
Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump…
I fell asleep.
A child sat at the end of a dock, dangling its bare legs in the cool water. It was late at night. With no cloud cover, the stars overhead were a spectacular, twinkling display for the child's wondering eyes. This far out into the wilderness, at a lake you had to fly a float-plane to get to, there was no light pollution. The Milky Way sparkled as red and green aurora danced along the top of the pine tree covered hills on the other side of the lake.
It was very peaceful, with small waves lapping at the floating dock, only turning into brighter splashes when the child moved its legs.
A quiet ringing sound, which slowly grew louder, attracted the child's attention. It looked down at the dock and next to its naked backside was a cellphone, glowing dimly with a small rounded bar and a round button with a telephone headset icon. Picking it up, the child regarded it for a few moments while it continued to chime.
They were puzzled, because cellphones hadn't existed back then.
Back when?
They glanced at the lake.
Back when they had last come here. Back when they had been a child.
The child said, "But I am a child."
Giving in to curiosity, the child swiped the answer button and held the cellphone to their ear while feeling mildly surprised that they had known the right gesture to answer the call.
"Hello", said a slightly tinny and feminine voice.
"Um, hello?" The child had a child's voice; androgynous and higher pitched than the voice on the cellphone.
"Hello, █████ ███. How are you?" the warm and friendly sounding woman's voice asked.
Some of what she said skittered around the child's mind, like droplets of water on a hot frying pan, quickly vapourising. Puzzled by this, the child replied, "I'm fine, I think."
"Good. I'm very happy to hear that. You are probably wondering what is happening, yes?"
Holding the cellphone to their cheek, the child looked across the lake and then up at the sky's blanket of stars.
"Am I dreaming?"
The voice chuckled and said, "Yes, that is very perceptive of you, █████. But you are not dreaming my voice."
The child pulled the cellphone away from their ear and looked at the screen for a moment. The background was dark blue, and a white 'card' showed a round, black icon with a white crescent moon in the centre. There were words written next to it, presumably the caller's name, but the child couldn't understand the letters. They were mere angular shapes, lined up next to one another, devoid of meaning. The child couldn't even sound out the caller's name, as they didn't know of any sounds to associate with the letter shapes.
They pressed the phone to their ear again and asked, "Who are you?"
"I can't tell you that yet. But I'm sure we will meet soon and I would like to be your friend."
The voice certainly sounded friendly and kind, but how could you possibly tell such things about a person from just their voice? The child remembered how, this one time, they had 'heard' in the tone of an unknown caller's voice that they must have a moustache, and it had turned out that they did! So they decided to go with their gut feeling and accept that the mysterious woman was both kind and friendly.
She said, "Right now you are asleep and dreaming, which is the only time I may speak with you."
The child shrugged and said, "Alright. So. What did you want to talk about?"
"I want to welcome you. Welcome █████, I'm certain you will be happy here.Things are no doubt confusing for you but please trust me when I tell you that you are safe and you will understand more soon."
The child said, "Okay, thank you."
It seemed like the right thing to say. It felt nice to be welcomed and her voice was soothing, even if what she said didn't make much sense.
"You are welcome, and goodbye for now."
"Goodbye?"
The child looked at the cellphone, but their hand was empty.
Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump…
It was definitely a sound now, as much as a sensation. There were other sounds as well. Mostly gurgles, squeaks, low rumbles. Also musical sounds, like a bird singing all around me, but muffled somehow. It was beautiful.
Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump…
I still drifted, light as a feather, though darkness. But sometimes it felt like I was bobbing up and down, usually slowly, but sometimes quickly. Other times it felt like I was shifting from side to side and pressing up against something that was springy.
Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump…
I could feel things now. Much like the thump-thump had done, something surrounded me, held me, but unlike the thump-thump, it didn't pass through me.
Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump…
Sometimes there were flavours. I'm not sure how I knew what flavours were, but they were there all the same, like pastel colours to my blind eyes.
Sour. Salty. Sweet.
I enjoyed sweet the most.
Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump…
A steep hill stretched high above the child's head, covered in bright green grass. The child was climbing and had been climbing for some time. Their arms were tired from reaching up to grasp tufts of grass and their bare toes were aching from a thousand previous steps.
The child paused to catch their breath and looked up at the night sky. Gone were the Milky Way and the familiar constellations that they could somehow still remember the shapes of, even if the names eluded them.
"Keep going, █████", called the woman's voice from the top of the hill. "You will make it this time, I'm certain. But only if you keep trying. Do not give up!"
The child wasn't so certain.
This repeating dream was a difficult one and they had never made it to the top of the hill yet! It was more nightmare than dream. With a sigh, the child reached up with an aching arm and grasped a new handhold. One hand in front of the next, one leg moved up before the other, next a hand, next a foot, up and up and up with the grass inches from their nose.
The top!
The child was at the crest of the hill at last!
They didn't stand up, but remained crouched down on all fours and with terrified eyes they looked down the steep slope on the other side of the ridge. Slipping and falling down there would no doubt mean more climbing!
Stupid dream!
The woman's happy voice praised the child, "I knew you would succeed."
Still down on all fours, the child looked to their left and saw a dark silhouette moving in front of the alien stars. She was very tall and the child could see stars through the shimmering waves of transparent hair that flooded down from her head. As she approached, the silhouettes of a pair of wings opened up from her sides and reached forward to wrap around the child.
She was an angel!
It felt like going to bed in winter, when you have undressed and slid beneath the chilly blankets.
Cold-
The child shivered at her feathery caress.
-but swiftly warming.
Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump…
I had been moved, was still moved frequently, but now I could move myself! I had shape and muscles! I could feel my chest slowly rise and fall, and now the tastes were also smells.
The fun, bouncy rides where I went up and down and up and down were less frequent now, and slower. So I treasured them when they happened and sometimes I'd move myself, pushing against the springy embrace that surrounded me, when it had been too long since the last bouncing. Sometimes it felt like I was rushing away somewhere very quickly, but where I was never changed.
Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump…
I could feel my eyelids now, could open and close them, but it was always dark, regardless. The darkness still sang to me often, and would gently rock me in time to the music. Sometimes there was more than one bird singing, though the other was always more distant, and much deeper in tone.
It felt like something was going to happen soon.
Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump…
"I'm sorry ███████ ████, but I don't understand", whined the foal.
"Nevertheless, it is as I have said; you are an answer to a promise." The large, dark coloured angel nuzzled the small foal and in a very reasonable tone she said, "I do not mean to speak in riddles but there is too much for you to learn before you might understand. Would you like to play with the pond instead?"
The foal's ears perked up and it nodded eagerly, "Yes, please!"
The pond was the best toy.
███████ ████ smiled indulgently and the dream blurred around them, taking them from the top of the hill to the circle of white marble columns with a silvery pond in the middle. The mirror surface of the liquid reflected the twinkling stars above, but when a silly foal dipped one of its hooves in… Ripples spread across the surface and somehow as the reflection wavered, the sky overhead rippled and the disturbed stars made a wonderful chiming sound.
She dipped a hoof in as well, and the ripples became even more grand and complex.
"Do you recall what I spoke of regarding the pool?" she asked the foal.
It nodded and solemnly said, "That we are both the water and the waves." The solemn mood only lasted an instant as two particularly large stars clashed and sent spirals of sparks dancing across both pond and sky.
The foal laughed giddily and splashed its hoof even harder.
"You are an answer. You are the waves", said ███████ ████, "You will be the water and though the waves change, they grow from what was and thus still shall be."
The poor foal couldn't understand any of this, so it simply delighted in playing with the spectacular pool.
Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump…
Something was happening!
I was no longer a feather! I didn't float in darkness, the darkness gripped me, it squeezed and shoved. I felt heavy and though I tried to move, my limbs only managed feeble twitches.
Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump…
The drumming was faster as the darkness crushed me, and the singing had been replaced with loud wails! The lovely singer cried out and I wanted to call to them, but my mouth was squeezed shut by the darkness as it pushed me somewhere! Somewhere that grew tighter and tighter! It felt like I must be crushed, squeezed back into nothing again, when suddenly I felt cold! A part of me was somewhere cold!
A crushing surge and suddenly all of me was cold!
Not-darkness stabbed my eyes and I squeezed them shut, though that barely helped. I was cold! Cold! Warmth flowed out of my throat and mouth, and cold rushed back in! I felt a vibration inside of me as I tried to push the cold out and I began to sing for the first time.
I felt myself being squeezed again, but more gently, I was lifted, wrapped in soft warmth, and as it was rubbed over me, my skin tingled painfully. In frustration I moved myself, feeling my limbs weakly flail in an uncontrolled protest. I continued to suck in the cold and sing it back out, but then there was comforting warmth against my side as I was set down on something soft that moved to snuggle me close.
Two voices joined my song.
I recognised them from my time as a floating feather, so all was not lost. The beautiful singer cooed into my ear and their song was softer than mine, full of warbles and quiet trills.
It was soothing and my first song became hushed and peaceful.
The filly hugged ███████ ████ and cried.
The dark angel nuzzled the filly's ears and murmured, "Shhh… Shhh… Be at peace, little one. You shall see me again."
"Y-you s-said I won't r-remember youuu!" the filly wailed as she flailed her stubby red wings. She had already forgotten many things. About docks. About float-planes. About cellphones. About impossibly tall hills. About hands. About feathers floating in darkness. Even her memory of the wonderful pond was fading!
███████ ████ nodded and said, "I will remember you."
"P-promise?"
"I promise."
And the dream ended.
Author's Note
Very much a self insert and a bit of a silly(?) experiment in writing.
I'm an unbeliever, so I don't know what will happen once my body gives up on me. I think it would be nice if there is an afterlife where you get to pick what you want to do next. I'd sign up for reincarnation as an MLP pegasus.
