You'll come back when it's over
Author's Note
You'll come back when it's over
The doors to the train car slide slowly shut with a mechanical hiss. Twilight tried to smile through the window at the pony on the other side, but the window was tinted, and she couldn’t quite see through. Was her friend smiling back? Did she notice the tears Twilight was fighting to keep from her eyes? All she could see was the darkened outline of the mare in the train car. Was she even looking at Twilight? She couldn’t tell, but oh, how she wished she could. She wished she could reach through the hoofprint-smudged window and say everything she had left unspoken for so long.
The wind that whisked through her mane was cold and tasted of peppermint, asphalt, and the faint smog aftertaste that this section of Manehatten left behind. Twilight wasn’t fond of Manehatten, but it was worth the trip to see… her off. That’s what friends do, right? They support each other, even if certain things never get said, even if certain questions never get asked and are left hanging in the air like dust caught in a spiderweb.
The Wonderbolts’ tour had been scheduled for months, now. It wasn’t up to either of them, though if Twilight had a say the tour would be cancelled and the pegasus would never leave her sight. What was she supposed to do in the evenings? She supposed she could catch up on reading something, a candle flickering, filling the air with the scent of sage and cedar. It would be comforting, cozy, relaxing… and lonely. Twilight didn’t want to face that empty room again. Not without the promise of seeing her.
Twilight wasn’t quite certain when she had begun using that sort of mentally emphasized pronouns for her… friend,... either. Mentally, even thinking the word “friend” came with a sort of pause at the beginning, a blank that should be filled in by something, but Twilight wasn’t willing to imagine what. Friends. That’s all they were. She couldn’t bear to name it, just as she couldn’t bear to name her, at least, not yet.
The train whistle sounded, startling Twilight. She took a few hasty steps back as the train car in front of her jerked forward, itching to begin its long journey to the Crystal Empire and beyond. The Wonderbolt Friendship Alliance Tour was about to begin. Twilight could rattle off the ways it could further boost Equestria’s relationship with the other species and nations beyond their borders. She could name politicians who supported it, experts who collaborated to create a show that would dazzle and inspire all different cultures, and wealthy benefactors who paid to bring it to life. She could show anypony charts and graphs and diagrams about how much it would help Equestria, but none of that would help fill the gaping hole left in her heart.
The train’s wheels squeaked against the rails as it began its slow roll out of the station, gathering momentum. Twilight waved feebly at the window where she had last seen her, holding back her tears until the window was out of view, and all the cars looked like a smudged watery line of sun-faded color. A few drops escaped, trickling down her cheeks unnoticed. Twilight could see her reflection, and she was alone.
Well, there was Spike next to her, but he had remained mostly silent throughout the trip. He gave her plenty of space and let her cry without a comment. Twilight wondered if he was there to support her, or if he somehow knew a little of how Twilight felt. She couldn’t be sure how much he understood, but she didn’t want to bring up the subject, because that would be acknowledging that there was something there to bring up.
The train cars weren’t beautiful. They were dull and washed-out and grimy and they didn’t deserve to be carrying her away from Twilight! Especially not now! Twilight stepped forward, leaning as close as she could towards the train as it picked up momentum. Her lips formed a word. “Wait,” they said, but no sound came out. There was so much she had left to say. So much left to tell her, so much forgotten and hidden away in the deepest parts of her heart.
It was a certain feeling. Maybe Twilight should say it aloud. Maybe, if she did, she would hear it, and the train that was carrying her friend-but-maybe-more would turn around and bring her back, bring her back, she needed to talk to her now.
Flashes of train-car advertisements blurred together as Twilight’s eyes watered. It was too late. Twilight was too late, and she was on tour, and Twilight wasn’t there to accompany her because she had a duty as a Princess but she’d give all of that up in a heartbeat to have one more minute to spend with her because she needed to tell her, she just had to.
For one second, the murky prismatic colors of the ads swimming in her unblinked tears looked just like her, flying free on the last rays of the sunset, the warmth and weather against her wingtips. Twilight could stare at it forever, as the image burned into her mind.
And so, she whispered something. A confession. Something she had never dared to tell her… friend. Nopony heard it, because the train whistle sounded again as the last few cars came rumbling up the tracks, but it was there, and it had been said to the wind that had carried her along the horizon.
Then the train passed, and Twilight no longer saw her reflection, no longer saw the colors of her. It was all replaced by the smog-ridden streets of downtown Manehattan. Taking a deep breath, Twilight turned around. Spike followed mutely behind her as she went up to the ticket booth, her breath fogging up the greasy window.
Bits slid underneath, Twilight’s voice reverberated in her ears, and the hollow punching sound of the printer replied. Through the reflection of the dewdropped glass, Twilight thought she saw Spike smile knowingly as he pat her on the side and walked off.
One ticket. The next train to the Crystal Empire, please. Twilight had a show to catch, after all, and nothing was more important than telling Rainbow Dash that she loved her.
