"Alright..." Rainbow Blitz said to himself, looking over the vast array of booze and food that had been set out over two tables pushed together in the middle of his living room. "I think that's just about perfect."
As Blitz said that, he turned and caught sight of himself in a mirror on the wall. Looking at his figure, it would be nigh impossible for anypony to believe that this stallion had once been an up-and-coming Wonderbolt in the prime of physical health. Of course, that had been before a moment of epiphany had convinced him to abandon that particular life in favour of a life of sheer hedonism, occasionally interspersed with some well-paid work as a member of the Council of Friendship.
Now, Blitz lived a life of partying, eating and drinking, and it showed big time on his figure. Last time he checked, he tipped the scales at about 250 pounds of fat. What had started off as a simple beer belly had morphed into a massive gut, along with fleshy love handles, back rolls and moobs. And Blitz wasn't afraid to show it off, either—as far as he was concerned, his weight was a badge of honour. If he was going to be a big party animal, he had to look the part.
Such was the case with his outfit for that day. Blitz was clad in a Haywaiian shirt, orange with a white palm tree motif, open at the front to show off his bare chest and belly. Around his waist was a pair of sand-coloured shorts, just tight enough to make his love handles more pronounced. His feet were bare. Blitz tugged at the lapels of his shirt, a half-lidded smile coming over his face.
"Looking good, Blitz," he told himself. "Looking good." He gave his reflection a pair of finger guns, winking and making a tch-choo sound with his mouth.
"Move over, Bubble Berry," he grinned, giving his stomach a pat. "There's a new party king in town."
It was true. Blitz's reputation for drinking hard and partying hard had spread fast. If Blitz was holding a house party, you could count on it being a wild affair—you could generally count on finding at least half a dozen ponies passed out on his front lawn the morning after.
Blitz gave a satisfied nod as he looked over the party supplies one more time. He'd been up since a quarter to eleven that morning organising it, which might as well have been the crack of dawn for him. It was a very rare sight these days to see Blitz out of bed before noon... except when a party needed organising. Now that everything on his end was sorted, all he needed to do was wait for his DJ to come by with the sound system.
"Should be here any moment now," he murmured, looking up at the clock just as it struck one. As if on cue, the doorbell rang.
"And that'll be him," Blitz said to himself, waddling to the door and opening it. Standing there with a mile-wide grin on his face was the stallion himself—Vinny Scratch, Ponyville's undisputed top DJ, and if possible, even more of a hedonist than Blitz was. He certainly had the body for it—at 470 pounds, Vinny was the definition of "big fun."
"Blitz, my dude!" he beamed, pulling Blitz into a tight brohug with one heavy arm. "Whassup, man?"
"Hey, Vinny," Blitz replied, punching him lightly in the arm. "You got that sound system with you?"
"You know it!" Vinny nodded. Blitz stepped outside, giving him a hand to get it into the house.
"So how'd the gig go last weekend?" he asked by way of conversation, carrying a speaker in his arms while Vinny took hold of a sound mixer with his magic.
"Sweet as," Vinny replied with a grin. "Ponies in Cloudsdale know how to party, that's for sure."
"I hear that," Blitz said, his gut wobbling as he laughed. "I was up there a couple of weeks ago, visited a nightclub there called High Flyers. Best music and the cutest mares in town."
"That so?" Vinny said as they set the equipment down. "I'll have to check that out sometime." He looked at the vast spread of food and alcohol. "Man, you don't do things by halves, do ya, RB?"
"Wouldn't be much of a host if I didn't," Blitz replied. “If you’re gonna throw a party, you’d better make certain that you do it right. That’s what Bubble taught me.”
“Damn right, too,” Vinny chuckled. “And with you at the helm, I’m sure it’s gonna be jumping!”
“WOOHOO!” Vinny hollered above the thumping bass and techno beats blaring out of his sound system’s speakers. “Is everypony partying hard?”
Everypony present whooped and cheered in response, raising their drinks both to their DJ and to their host. Blitz was sitting sprawled out on the couch with a drink in his chubby hand, giving his guests a cool smile as he raised a glass to them.
“Enjoy it, everypony!” he said. “Because we’re gonna go aaaaaaaallllll night long!”
“You heard him!” Vinny bellowed, his voice raising easily above the pounding beats. Blitz chuckled. He’d forgotten just how loud and boisterous Vinny could get once he’d had a few drinks in him. It was part of what made him such an indispensable part of any good party.
Looking up, he noticed a couple of familiar faces—Harpsy and Flowerburst. Like Blitz, both stallions were very familiar with living the free and easy life, and like Blitz, it showed in their physiques. Harpsy, like Blitz, was morbidly obese, his great, wobbling reserves of mint-green flesh hanging out and bulging in all directions even under his tight-fitting clothing. Flowerburst, while nowhere near as gargantuan as Harpsy, still had a fine, round keg of a beer belly to call his own… one that Blitz was proud to say he played a large part in growing.
“Hey, guys!” Blitz greeted them. “Enjoying yourselves?”
“We always do when you’re the one throwing the party, Blitz,” Harpsy replied with a grin. “Right, Flower?”
“Oh yeah, totally!” Flowerburst slurred, swaying slightly on his feet as he looked at Blitz. “Blitsh, yer… kinda fuzzhy. Ish shomethin’ wrong with ya?”
“As thirsty as ever, I see,” Blitz quipped, taking a swig from his own beer. “Great to see you’re both having fun.”
“Why wouldn’t we, right?” Harpsy asked. “We’ve got Ponyville’s resident party animal on hand!”
“Don’t let Bubble hear you say that,” Blitz smirked.
“Nah, nah,” Harpsy said, shaking his head. “Bubble knows how to have a great time, don’t get me wrong, but his parties are more… I dunno, wholesome. You’re the guy to go to if somepony wants a wild time.”
“PARTY DOWN, EVERYPONY! PARTY DOWN!” Vinny hollered, as if to emphasise the point.
“No argument there,” Blitz smiled, draining his beer and tossing it to the side.
“Nuh-uh,” Flowerburst mumbled, hiccupping. “Nah, I’m jusht gonna… gonna resht, right here…”
He unsteadily made his way behind the couch, before promptly falling to the floor with a thud.
“First of the night,” Harpsy commented. “Anyway, you gonna get up and party?”
Blitz raised an eyebrow. “I thought that was what I was doing?”
“Nah, nah, nah,” Harpsy said with a shake of his head. “I don’t mean sitting there, quaffing beer. I mean getting up and cutting loose.”
Blitz hummed. “Eh… I dunno, I’m kinda comfy here.”
“Oh, you could always puss out,” Harpsy smirked with folded arms.
“Oh?” Blitz asked, narrowing his eyes. “Well, if it’s gonna be like that…”
Giving Harpsy an audacious grin, Blitz heaved himself to his feet, his booze-filled gut sloshing as he did so.
“Vinny!” he called, raising his hand. “Gimme one with a beat!”
“You got it, Blitz!” Vinny called back. A steady, thumping techno tune came from the speakers as Blitz swaggered into the middle of the dancefloor, the ponies already there parting to make room for him. They watched as Blitz began to move slowly and rhythmically, moving with the beat, nodding his head and pumping his arms…
…before abruptly whipping his shirt off, revealing his great belly and moobs for all to see. A massive whoop and cheer went up as he tossed it to the side and began to dance in earnest.
One wouldn’t believe it from Blitz’s size, but he still had plenty of his innate Pegasus agility, and could seriously cut it loose on the dancefloor when he wanted to, as he was proving then. Raising both arms above his head, Blitz began to thrust and gyrate wildly, his fat wobbling and sloshing with his movement.
“Alright, Blitz!” Vinny cheered, joining the rest of the crowd in cheering their host on as he got his groove on.
“Yeah, you like that?” Blitz called, a great big grin plastered on his face as he danced his fat ass off for his adoring crowd.
“Yeah!” everypony cheered, gladly egging Blitz on as he moved to the edge of the crowd. Some of the lucky ones at the edge found him right up in their faces, within touching distance of his belly and love handles. Blitz felt many a sly slap and grope as he moved along the edges of the crowd, before raising his arms and beckoning them to join him.
“Come on!” he roared. “Everypony down here!”
As their host commanded, the crowd obeyed. Blitz soon found himself joined by all the other guests (the ones who were still sober enough to stand, at any rate), each of them moving and dancing with him, whipped up in the same frenzy as he was. Like Bubble Berry, Blitz had a knack for getting ponies to fall under a sort of spell with his parties. Inhibitions were lost, and ponies simply lost themselves in the blur and life of the party.
As the song reached its climax, Blitz got ready for his big finish. With a good flap of his wings, he thrust himself into the air, and landed on the final note with a more or less perfect pair of splits.
As Blitz raised his hands in the air and soaked up the praise, Vinny posed a question to everypony.
“Who’s the best damn party animal in the world?” he yelled.
“Rainbow Blitz!” everypony cheered in return.
Blitz chuckled as he got up and waddled to get another beer. “You’re damn right.”
“Ugh…” Blitz muttered, blinking slowly as the sun drifted into his eyes, awakening him to the smell of stale booze and sweat and a throbbing head. “Ah, the day after the night before…”
Looking down at the floor revealed a naked Vinny and Harpsy, both still dead to the world after they had presumably collapsed there the previous night. After poking them with his foot to try and get them to stir to no avail, Blitz waddled to the window and carefully opened the curtains. Looking outside revealed at least half a dozen ponies passed out on the front lawn.
Blitz chuckled. “Still got it.”
END
