The Likes of Which the World Has Never Seen
“Okay.” With a deep breath, Princess Celestia stepped aside and lit her horn. She and Princess Luna were in the library, and neither was quite sure what to expect from the spell they were about to perform. Celestia had found it in a book when the attack began, and Twilight’s suggestion to call upon him left all but Luna in agreement. “Desperate times call for desperate measures.” Celestia turned her head and looked at her sister. “Luna, are you ready?”
“No.” Luna’s horn glowed as she frowned, knowing full well that by the time all of this was over, she was going to have a migraine that could kill an entire jungle. “But I’d rather not die at the hands of that centaur.”
With that, two thin streams of magic crept out of the princesses’ horns, striking the ground. Then, out of nowhere, a large burst of light erupted outwards, throwing Celestia and Luna back, holding them against a bookshelf. The light spun with the power of a dozen mane-dryers, causing books and pieces of paper to blow across the room.
Then, as quickly as it all began, it ceased. At the site of the blast stood someone with beautiful hair and smelled of money.
His name: Donald J. Trump. God-Emperor of the United States of America, leader of the free world, and one-time savior of Equestria.
In one of his large, firm hands: a can of Diet Coke. Trump looked at it with a disapproving scowl and threw it over his shoulder. “It still tastes like garbage.” Looking up, across the room, the God-Emperor’s mighty gaze fell upon the two princesses. Celestia smiled widely at him, while Princess Luna glared. “Pence,” he said, “I thought I told you to go record Fox & Friends for me.”
Both princesses scrambled to their hooves, Celestia sporting a large grin while Luna spoke up, a frown on her face. “Good to see you too, Donny.” She trotted over to Trump and looked up at him. “Look, we have an emergency.”
“The bathroom’s out of toilet paper again?”
“Um, no,” Luna replied nervously, rubbing the back of her head. “We, uh, need you to defeat a terribly evil monster for us.”
Trump rubbed his chin. “That sounds like a job for General Mattis and General McMaster,” he said, just as Celestia walked up to her sister’s side. “Melania, what are you doing here? I thought you were helping Barron with his homework.”
“Who—” Celestia looked to Luna, who shrugged. “I-I mean, he, uh…” Celestia mumbled. She quickly scrambled for an explanation that wouldn’t stretch this conversation on any longer than it needed to be, and suddenly blurted out, “He-he-he finished his homework!”
“Hm. Maybe I should’ve left him in charge of the company instead of Eric,” Trump said, only for his attention to snap back to Luna. “So, why’d you come to me first, Pence?”
“Because—” Luna bit her lip. “—the other guys were… busy?”
“Absolute nonsense. I only hire the non-busiest people, believe me, I know that, you know that, and CNN doesn’t know that.” Trump scowled. “Now, why’d you come to me first?”
“Because the thing attacking us is a two-hundred foot tall centaur from Tartarus!” Luna blurted out, only to quickly realize her error. “I-I mean—”
Trump raised an eyebrow. Without a word, he walked to the library door, motioning for the princesses to follow. He adjusted the cuffs of his suit until they were once more by his side. “You two really need to stop wasting time,” the God-Emperor remarked. He pushed open the doors with his patriotic might and exited into the hallway. Without hesitation, he stormed over to the window, opening the curtains to look outside. “I told Pompeo to be careful with that stupid machine of his,” he said. “I said it’d cause nothing but—”
A monstrous hoof slammed down in front of the window. Immediately, it was followed by a second hoof and a blast of magic that illuminated the sky, and a thunderous explosion tore through the air. Finishing it all was a sinister laugh, causing everyone to shiver.
Well, almost everyone.
The God-Emperor’s eyes locked to the gigantic centaur as it tore off the top part of the castle. With another laugh, the centaur opened his mouth and picked at his teeth.
“Guess the Hawaiians were lying when they said it was an accident,” Trump remarked.
After watching for a few seconds, Trump looked away from the horrific scene to cast a disapproving glare to Luna. “Pence!” he shouted, gesturing behind him to Lord Tirek and his tirade. “Is there a reason we have ‘Little Rocket Man’ picking his teeth with the Washington Monument?”
Celestia gasped. “You… you know Tirek?” she asked, wide-eyed.
Trump nodded. “Melania, I’ve told you thirty times now, Little Rocket Man and I go way back!”
“Right…” Luna attempted to translate the God-Emperor’s higher understanding of the situation at hand. Eventually, giving up, her feeble alicorn mind broke. It was simply incapable of understanding the deeper meaning behind his high-energy words. “So, look, Donald, we need you to defeat this… um, ‘Little Rocket Man.’ He’s going to destroy the entire city—maybe even the whole world!”
“Pence, what did I tell you about listening to Fake News?” Trump scowled. “He cannot, by any means, destroy the whole world. My button, as I’ve made very clear, is much bigger, much more powerful, actually works, and I have that really awesome space laser that can destroy anything and everything that’s ever existed, ever.” The God-Emperor folded his arms and huffed.
Celestia gulped. “Is he actually going to help us?” she asked. “I thought you said that he saved you from the Changelings.”
Luna tapped her chin for a moment. After a few seconds, an idea hit her like an all-American truck. “Trump!” She ran up to the God-Emperor and placed her hooves on his shoulders, giving him a quick shake. “Little Rocket Man took General Mattis and General… that other guy!”
Trump’s eyes widened. “Impossible! I was just talking to Mattis about ISIS!”
“Well, he has!” Luna frantically shouted. “And if you don’t help us stop him, he might take everypo— I mean everyone else!”
Trump pushed Luna aside. Composing himself, he straightened his tie. “Nobody messes with the United States.” With a fix of his hair, a part of the curtains, he once more revealed Tirek, who was now singing into what had once been his toothpick. “Especially not someone who doesn’t have a neck.” Turning around, the God-Emperor furrowed his brow and stared at Luna. “Tell me when we start, Pence, and I will unleash fire and fury the likes of which the world has never seen.”
Celestia walked over and whispered to Luna, “When do we tell him about our plan?”
“We don’t,” Luna said in a hushed tone. “We fill him with our magic once Cadance and Twilight get here and hope that it works like Twilight theorized it would.”
“How did she think it’d work again?”
“Make him a lot bigger than he already is.”
“I can hear you, Pence.” Trump folded his arms. “I’m aware that I am not the most slender of people, but I have been working very hard to lose weight. Now, where’s the ice cream? I could go for two big scoops of chocolate ice cream right about now. Especially since I just got done writing that State of the Union speech, which was a tremendous effort mind you. It’s not easy to write a speech while you tweet.”
“If you wish to eat before the battle, Mister President,” Celestia began, “the kitchen is down the hall and to the left.”
“Thank you, Melania.” Graciously, the God-Emperor walked down the hallway, the princesses in tow. Neither spoke the entire way thanks to the fact that it took them roughly ten seconds to arrive at the kitchen.
Trump opened the doors, turning back to the princesses to ask a question for the ages. “So, where do you keep the ice cream?”
“The freezer.” Celestia deadpanned, while Luna’s facehoofing proved to be a resounding crash. “Bowls are in the cabinet over the counter next to it.”
“Excellent.” Trump stood still, staring blankly at the princesses.
“Is something wrong, Mister President?” Celestia asked, a gracious smile plastered across her face. Nopony could hear her screaming inside.
Trump blinked as a violent rumble shook the castle. “Aren’t you going to get the ice cream, Melania?”
“Excuse me?” Celestia asked in shock.
“You know how much I dislike getting my hands cold. It’s terrible. It makes them look small when I sign executive orders. I always shake and it makes my signature look terrible. I cannot allow Jake Tapper to get another laugh at my expense. I don’t desire to tweet with cold hands.” Trump folded his arms. “So, please get me my three scoops of delicious Trump™ Ice Cream.”
“…No.”
“Please?”
“No.”
Trump crossed his arms and pouted. “Fine.” He mumbled something under his breath and let out a defeated sigh before he finally walked over to the freezer, grabbing the box of ice cream. “I could probably have three scoops after that walk and that argument.”
“Mister President, you’re a fully grown adult,” Luna deadpanned. “Have as much as you’d like.”
“Pence, you can’t smooth talk your way into having more than one scoop tonight,” Trump said as he scooped a large amount of ice cream out of the box. “Last time you had two scoops, you said a sapient horse ran around the White House.” Trump took another spoonful of ice cream and placed it into his bowl. “Jim Acosta wouldn’t stop talking about it for weeks, and it was terrible for our approval ratings.” The God-Emperor took one final scoop of ice cream before putting the box away. “So, look, I have a plan to defeat Little Rocket Man without having to use that button the Democrats are always panicking about.” He grabbed his bowl of ice cream and ate a large spoonful of it, some of it smearing above his lip like a moustache. “I say that we scramble the fighter jets and blow him to bits, and then make China pay for the damages.”
“That’s, uh, great!” Celestia forced a smile, hoping that the God-Emperor wouldn’t notice. “I’ll… I’ll go scramble the jets right away!”
“Melania, you have no authority over that,” Trump said, devouring another yuge spoonful of ice cream. “Though this brain freeze does make me think that I should give you that authority.”
“Excellent!” Celestia ran to the kitchen doors, only to run face-first into Princess Cadance.
“Oh, goodness!” Cadance regained her composure and giggled. “I’m terribly sorry, Auntie Celestia. We got here as quickly as possible.”
“Yeah…” Shining Armor came up alongside Cadance, his mane a disaster. “Did you summon him?”
Celestia nodded and stepped aside. “He’s right there.”
Trump looked up from his bowl of ice cream and narrowed his eyes. After a moment, a toothy smile formed on his face. “Scaramucci? What’re you doing here!?”
Cadance looked to the God Emperor and blinked. “Who–” She glanced to Shining Armor and leaned close to him to whisper, “Who’s he talking about?”
Shining Armor shrugged and whispered back, “I don’t know. Just go with it.” He put on a smile as he walked into the room and up to Trump. “Mister President.” He saluted the God-Emperor.” I am very pleased to see that you arrived here safely.”
Trump stared down at Shining Armor. “Mattis, I was told that you were captured by Little Rocket Man.”
Shining Armor raised an eyebrow. “I...” He looked behind Trump to see Luna blush like a deep red state. “I was, but I escaped because I… um… I can...”
“Did you make use of those MOABs that we didn’t get to use?”
“Uh, yes!” Shining Armor puffed out his chest. “It was truly amazing! Lots of... lots of chaos. Actual chaos! It was tremendous.”
Cadance looked at Luna, perplexed.
“What’s a MOAB?” Celestia asked.
“It’s not the biggest thing you’ve seen, Melania.” Proudly, Trump strutted past Shining Armor and the princesses, stopping in front of Cadance. “So, Scaramucci, how’s life been? I didn’t think Mattis would bring you here.”
“Um…” Cadance chuckled. “I don’t know who you speak of, Mister President,” she said. “My name is Mi Amore Cadenza. I am princess of the Crystal Empire.” She bowed. “It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
Trump looked down at Cadance. “Scaramucci, I know you’re a joker, but is there any reason you’re treating me like Obama treated that dopey prince?” He patted Cadance on the head. “Not that I’m opposed to being treated like royalty—believe me, I love it—but it’s very unusual for you and I can’t say I like this new attitude you hold towards me. Sort of.”
“With all due respect, Mister President, I’d appreciate it if you would just call me Cadance.” Narrowing her eyes, Cadance stared loving claymores at the God-Emperor. “I don’t know who this ‘Scaramucci’ fellow is, but it is a little more than irritating having to hear a name that I am unfamiliar with. I get that enough, thank-you-very-much, when Shining Armor comes home piss-ass drunk and starts calling me Pinkie, Lassie, Podonk, Tammy, or Boulder.”
Trump narrowed his eyes. “Scaramucci, I told you that I don’t drink,” he began, “and I do not appreciate you mentioning Ivana or Marla like that. It’s very disrespectful.”
Cadance raised an eyebrow. “I never mentioned either of those names,” she said. “Though, I guess you do share strong feelings for them.”
“No I don’t.”
Cadance rolled her eyes. “Oh, forget it.” With a sigh, the loveable princess of love walked away.
“And for your information, I love America more than anything.” Trump took out a pin of the state of Wisconsin and hugged it. “The great people of this state, or any other, shall never be forgotten.”
“I don’t care!” Cadance yelled back.
“Democrat!” The God-Emperor put the pin back into his pocket and looked over at Luna. Displeased, she walked out of the kitchen and up to his side. “Now, what was I talking about?”
“That was Princess Cadance, Mister President…” Luna shot Trump a glare. “Please, watch what you say.”
“Pence, I know what I’m doing.” Trump put a hand up to his chin and thought for a moment. “Oh, right, I wanted to ask when we act on our plan to stop Little Rocket Man.” Out of the corner of the God-Emperor’s godly eyes, he could see Tirek juggling several buildings. “He seems to be causing quite a lot of damage and I don’t like that. Chicago’s infrastructure is already bad and it doesn’t need any help being worse.”
“Right,” Luna replied, opting to just go with the flow rather than argue with the God-Emperor. “So, listen, say those ‘fighter jets’ don’t work. What’s your plan then?”
Trump reached into his right pocket and pulled out a small red button. “This.” He waved it in front of Luna’s face for a few seconds before placing it back into his pocket. “It’ll fix all of our problems in no time.”
Luna’s mouth hung open. “T-that!?” She looked around in disbelief. “That’s just a button!”
“It’s a button that actually works, unlike the ones that I’ve seen from highly classified photos that the intelligence agencies show me of North Korea.” The God-Emperor patted Luna on the head. “You don’t get to see them because you’re too busy sleeping or reading C.S. Lewis books.”
Luna swatted Trump’s hand away and let out a huff. “And what’s so bad about reading?” she asked with a look if indignation.
Trump rolled his eyes. “How many times must I remind you? I prefer the cliff notes version of things when I’m tweeting about Fake News.” Taking out his phone, the God-Emperor opened up his Twitter app and walked over to Luna’s side. “See?” He typed in a few words. “Now watch as I anger the tens of people who still watch CNN.”
Luna looked at the tweet and raised an eyebrow.
@CNN is still #FakeNews!
Shaking her head, Luna replied, “Whatever you say, Mister President.”
“Great.” Trump brought his phone back up and tweeted out a few other very presidential tweets.
CRASH
The sound of glass shattering filled the air. The God-Emperor raised his head in time to see Twilight Sparkle careen into the opposite wall, rolling upside down.
“Hm.” Trump put a finger on his chin and examined the scene before him. “I see that the Intelligence agencies haven’t gotten any more subtle than the last time I was shown their tactical entrances.” He took a few steps closer to Twilight to help her up, only to stop halfway. “Oh wait.” He turned around and walked back to his previous position. “It’s just Paul Ryan.”
Trump watched as Twilight teleported over to Celestia—who galloped out of the kitchen with Cadance and Shining Armor.
“P-Princess, he… he caught them! All of them!” Twilight burst into tears, wiping a few away with a wing. “We tried to get away, but he…” She fell forward and buried her face into Celestia’s chest.
Celestia wrapped a wing around Twilight. “It’s going to be okay,” she said in a motherly tone. “I promise you.”
Trump narrowed his eyes at Twilight. “Pence, why is Paul Ryan here?” he asked, leaning over to Luna. “You and I both know he’s an ineffective House Speaker and that he’ll do no good for us.”
“I don’t know,” Luna snarled. “Perhaps he’s here because you’ll need his power to defeat the monster outside.”
Trump laughed. “Good one, Pence, but we all know the only power that Paul has is being a god among ass-kissers.”
Luna turned away and sighed. “Well, you aren’t exactly wrong there…”
“I like you, Pence.” Trump wrapped an arm around Luna. “I like you almost as much as I like that guy who talks about gay frogs.”
With a look of surprise, Luna looked up. “Uh, thanks.”
The God-Emperor nodded when something caught his eye. “Hey, what’s that behind Melania?”
Luna craned her neck, spotting something that sent a shiver down her spine. Thoughts of the chaos that Trump could cause if he said the wrong thing to the pony that was in that carriage flooded her mind. “A carriage,” Luna said. “Wait! Please, don’t go over there. Please!”
Trump nodded once more and walked over to it, ignoring Luna’s pleas to stop, only to be taken aback when he looked inside the carriage. “Oh. It’s you.” Trump folded his arms as he stared down at a peacefully sleeping Flurry Heart. “Special Prosecutor Mueller,” he began, “I hear each and every day that you’re ‘close to taking me down.’” A smirk crept on the God-Emperor’s face. “However, I—”
“Mister Trump,” Twilight shouted, “that’s a baby!”
The God-Emperor looked back on Twilight with contempt. “You’re one to talk, Paul.”
Before Twilight could open her mouth to respond, Celestia silenced her with a hoof to the shoulder.
Twilight looked up to see Celestia looking down, her face serious. “Is it time?” Twilight asked.
Celestia nodded. Her horn glowed golden, followed by Luna’s which glowed a light blue. Cadance’s horn was next, glowing a similar color.
For her part, Twilight’s horn shone a majestic magenta. Then, all at once, four beams shot towards Trump, the magic surrounding him before being absorbed by his high-quality suit. Then, after a few seconds of unnerving silence, Trump grew.
And grew.
And grew some more.
Then a little more for good measure.
By the time the magic had finished being absorbed by the God-Emperor’s body, he stood at eye level with Tirek, and his hair was thirty-six times shinier, taller, and more majestic than it had been prior to the magical infusion.
Trump looked down at the world below him and shook his head. “Pence, I thought I told you that I only take Viagra with my dinner on Fridays,” he said. “Though I must admit, I appreciate that you took the experimental version from Pompeo’s office. I’d been meaning to ask you or Wray to do that for me,” the God-Emperor said. He shifted around and glared patriotic daggers at Tirek.
“So, you’re the one I heard about from within Tartarus.” Tirek crushed a mansion in one of his massive hands and cast whatever remained aside. “They called you ‘The Golden One.’ They said that you defeated the Changelings on your own, and took out their queen with your bare hands.”
“That is correct, Little Rocket Man.” Trump adjusted his tie with a prideful look on his face. “I did defeat the globalists on my own. I had no outside help. Absolutely none, it was all me. Believe me, it’s true—all true, and I did it simply by speaking my mind—my mind, it was all me. But I did it for the American people because they deserved better than to be sold out to special interests, and that is all Obama did. Trust me, I would know, I have the best sources—the best.”
Tirek raised an eyebrow. “What?” It took the centaur quite some time to process the God-Emperor’s mighty words, but once he had, a shiver ran down his spine. The sheer amount of patriotism that filled those words was too much for even the most foul beasts of Tartarus. It exuded power the likes of which Equestria had never seen or felt.
Even Celestia shivered.
The other princesses nearly fainted behind her.
Flurry Heart slept through it all.
Trump took several steps forward until he was but a few feet away from the now visibly terrified centaur. “You made the wrong choice in attacking America, Little Rocket Man!” Trump brought back a fist and threw a savage punch at Tirek, sending him crashing down onto several city blocks.
“M-Mister President!” Twilight yelled to the God-Emperor, who lumbered forward towards Tirek. “Please, be careful! There are still many ponies who haven’t been able to escape yet!”
“I know what I’m doing, Paul!” Trump shouted, to the tune of several innocent ponies’—and Blueblood’s—terrified screams. He stopped directly above Tirek. “I am going to Make Earth Great Again!” He raised a foot and slammed it down onto Tirek’s chest, but found it was as hard as diamond.
Tirek let out a sinister laugh as Trump reeled back in shock, and blasted him away. “My hide cannot be penetrated. Not by any beast or pony— mortal nor immortal!” Standing up, Tirek charged up a spell between his horns, which he fired off a few seconds later.
However, Trump was quicker, and he rolled out of the way, naturally taking several stores with him on his way.
“Donald!” Luna shouted. Try as she may, though, the Royal Canterlot Voice was nowhere near as loud as the various blasts that Tirek fired off, which drowned out any and all sound she created. “Be. Careful!”
“Can it, Pence, I must do what I must to defeat a maniac like this!” Trump tore off the top of a cathedral. He stood and let out a triumphant, patriotic battle cry before charging Tirek. With all of his American might, he brought the spire down, embedding its tip deep into the centaur’s shoulder.
Tirek glanced down and flicked the tiny twig away. “Gimme a break.” He raised one arm and swung, casually back-handing the God-Emperor to the ground.
“Ouch.” The God-Emperor winced. He looked up to see Tirek lumber over, a manic grin on his face.
“So, this is what the princesses believe will be their savior?” Tirek let out a hearty laugh. “Pathetic. An oversized ape in a tuxedo with hair that looks like a dead marsupial.” Tirek stepped forward and cracked his knuckles. “You know, I found this wonderful portal outside of Tartarus that was brimming to the surface with energy. It was… rapturous. It came from a place where they were testing these missiles.” A shaky breath left the centaur’s mouth as he reminisced on the absorption of the energy, a green glow surrounding him as he did. “Nuclear power… it’s the all-encompassing zenith of power!” He charged up an attack between his horns.
Trump stood and narrowed his eyes, causing them to glow a bright yellow. “No, Kim,” he began, “I have grown stronger!” Twin beams of magic shot out, striking Tirek in the face.
Like, right in the face.
The God-Emperor smirked as Tirek staggered back, holding his once-beautiful face that his mommy loved so much. With a smug grin, Trump charged up another attack, only to sneeze and fire the laser downwards, striking Luna.
“DONAAAALD!” Luna fell to the ground, smoke rising from her body. Then, a golden glow surrounded her, and she sprang up good as new. “I… I have my magic?” A large smile formed on her face.
Meanwhile, Trump shrunk three sizes.
His hands, however, did not.
“Hm.” Trump examined the situation at hand—quite literally. For starters, he was now fifty feet shorter than Tirek, who was slowly making his way over to him. Then, there was the matter of the massive blast the centaur was charging up.
Also, he felt hungry.
“Pathetic human!” Tirek laughed. “You have no more magic to use on me! Now, Equestria shall be all mi—”
A large wall fell from the sky, landing atop Tirek’s head and crushing it into thousands of little pieces.
“Trump!” Luna flew up to the God-Emperor’s face. “What in Equestria have you done!?”
Trump raised a ‘little’ button and waved it in front of Luna before placing it back in his pocket. “I told you it’d fix all of our problems.”
“Do you have any idea how much damage you’ve caused to Canterlot?”
Trump waved a hand dismissively. “Pence, how many times do I have to tell you: just send the bill to Mexico.”
Luna opened her mouth to speak once more, but chose not to. She flew down to Celestia’s side where she decided it was more logical. “Let’s just shrink him before he drops another wall on the castle.”
“That doesn’t sound like a bad idea,” Trump remarked. “Then I can finally figure out which wing is which in this place.”
Luna’s eye twitched. “Celestia!”
“We have no magic,” Celestia deadpanned.
“But I do,” Luna began, her horn illuminating.
“Why don’t you negotiate a deal with him to get it back?”
“But Sister, perhaps I can—”
“Let’s not cause any more damage than has already been done,” Celestia responded. “See if he’ll give us our magic back willingly first.”
Luna facehoofed. “Fine.” Flying to Trump’s side, she asked, “Mister President, can my fellow princesses have their magic back?”
“No.”
“Please?”
“No.”
“Pretty please?”
“No.”
Luna cocked a brow and huffed. “Don’t make me shoot you.”
“Fine.” Rolling his eyes, Trump narrowed his gaze and fired off three lasers at the other three princesses. Within a few seconds, he’d been reduced back down to his original size, at which point he walked over to Luna’s side. “So, Pence, I want you to tell Sarah that we aren’t taking in any North Korean refugees.”
“Uh… okay?” Luna took a step back. “I’ll get right on that.”
Trump looked over to Cadance. “Scaramucci, I want you to just do whatever it is you do nowadays.”
Cadance rolled her eyes. “Okay.”
Trump’s gaze shot over to Shining Armor, who saluted Trump. “You’re my favorite, you get the day off.”
“Thank you, Mister President.”
Trump looked at Celestia. “See you in bed.”
Celestia hid her face behind her wings and slunk back behind Luna.
“Paul.” Trump turned away from Twilight. “Get out of my sight.”
“Hey!” Twilight ran back to Trump. “You can’t—” Twilight stopped when she realized she was arguing for someone she didn’t know.
“Thought so.” Trump looked over at a familiar carriage and walked over to it. “Mueller.” The God-Emperor aimed a finger gun at Flurry Heart and narrowed his eyes. “You’re fired.”
Flurry Heart giggled.
“Mueller, I order that you end this nonsensical, completely pointless investigation. You know and I know, trust me, I know me better than anyone else, that I had no assistance from the Russians.”
Twilight groaned. “Mister Trump, for the last time, that’s a baby.”
Trump turned his head to Twilight. “I’m very much aware of that, Paul, and that is why I must tell Mueller to step down and quit wasting everyone’s time.”
“No, I mean that’s literally a baby!”
“Paul, I heard you the first time.” Looking back down at Flurry Heart, the God-Emperor sneered, “You’re more useless than Reince Priebus.”
Flurry Heart let out a laugh and reached for Trump.
“Aww, I think she wants to hug you!” Cadance smiled and picked up Flurry Heart, then held her in front of Trump. “Go on, give her a hug!”
“I don’t hug RINO’s.” Trump turned away, only to feel something hit and ooze down his back, which was followed by a lot of snickering.
“Oops.” Cadance blushed. “Sorry, Mister President.”
Trump pinched the bridge of his nose. “Now I need a new suit.”
Celestia walked out from behind Luna, still blushing slightly, and cast a spell that caused the baby vomit to vanish from the back of Trump’s suit, and made it look good as new to boot.
“I still need a new suit.”
Celestia rolled her eyes in response, after which she put on as bright of a smile as possible. “Well, thank you so much for your assistance, Mister President.”
“Melania, it’s my job.” Trump narrowed his eyes. “You know thi—”
Luna teleported over and shoved a hoof into Trump’s mouth. “Don’t. You. Dare.”
Trump slowly raised a hand and removed Luna’s hoof from his mouth. “You know this, I know this, everyone knows this, believe me.”
Luna’s eye twitched. “I hate you.”
“Quiet, Pence, or I’ll sue you.”
“Yes, well.” Celestia enveloped Luna in her magical aura. “Don’t you dare, Luna!” She said, yanking a wild-eyed Luna back. The last thing she desired was another Nightmare Moon episode as caused by the two-time savior of Equestria. “Now then, Mister President, I hereby declare you an honorary citizen of Equestria. You’re free to come back anytime you wish!”
“I’m so glad to know that my own wife will allow me to enter the country I am a native citizen, and president, the best president, of.”
Celestia broke the spell on Luna. “Yes, well, see you sometime in the future!” Before Luna could so much as lay a hoof on the God-Emperor, Celestia fired off a spell that sent him back to Earth.
“Dang it.” Luna let out a heavy sigh. Turning around, she looked her sister in the eyes and let out a nervous giggle. “So... Tia.” She took a step back, beads of sweat trickling down her face. “Who, uh… who did you send to stand in for the President?”
“Don’t worry, Lulu, I’m not going to punish you.” Celestia chuckled. “If you must know, though, I sent someone who I felt was the most qualified to handle such a monumental task.”
It had been a very long and very terrifying hour and a half. The commotion that filled the north wing of the United States Capitol had been exceptionally loud—and attracted the attention of more than a few staff members. Everyone who entered hadn’t come back out, resulting in more and more staffers entering to see just what the hell was up. Eventually, everyone in the Capitol Building was cramped into the Senate chamber, and all eyes were on the floor.
“Hmm…”
Some held back laughter. Some, tears. Others held back screams. Whatever they held back, though, one thing was the same.
They were all in utter disbelief.
Standing in the center and holding a bill was someone who had a bill that had been in discussion for longer than either party would care to admit. The mere mention of its name was sure to cause chaos and result in a days-long argument. But for the first time ever, the mentioning of it brought only silence.
And it was thanks to the power of the voice of the one who held it.
“HEALTHCARE BILL NOT PERFECT!”
Author's Note
Bonus chapter will come soon!
