Some Monsters are Real

by Nimnul

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Violence, Slice of Life, Berry Punch, Death, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Bon-Bon
Length: 9050

Special Agent Sweetie Drops no longer exists. Bon Bon is a simple candymaker and gormless salespony. But sometimes, her old training might still serve to make new friends.

Some years before the return of Nightmare Moon, Bon Bon wants nothing more than to take life slow and easy. Berry Punch just wants to raise her daughter. Neither of them feel like they entirely fit into pleasant Ponyville.

When little Ruby Pinch starts reacting with stark terror to the idea of sleeping in her own room, nightmares and an overactive imagination are the immediately obvious explanation. Everypony knows that the monster under the bed isn't real.

But maybe Bon Bon can offer a second opinion without immediately outing herself as a monster hunter. Some nightmares are more real than others, and ponies have to look out for one another.

Published 2018-03-19 17:20:06 UTC
Last updated 2018-03-19 17:20:06 UTC

Assistance Rendered, Friends Made

Bon Bon's day had started off pretty alright. No worse than usual, anyway. She'd woken up early, spent a few minutes listening to Lyra's cute little snores, then slipped out of bed without waking the unicorn. She'd gone on her morning run as usual, then set about getting sweets cooking in the kitchen and eventually opened the store. The routine was by now easy and familiar.

Berry Punch shouldered her way through the door fairly early on, perhaps returning from dropping her little filly off at school. Bon Bon liked the other earth pony so far, mostly because she didn't seem nearly as much of a gossip as most of the locals. She liked the town, but most ponies here would say any stupid thing that flit between their marshmallow brains and their big mouths. It was wearying.

Berry was sober. You could always tell because she kept her head down like a pony who knew she was out of place, and the anxiety about it made it even more obvious. A few drinks into the day the mare might stop worrying and start moving with the confident swagger of one who thought they were bad news for any idiot trying to start something with them. Had been one of the big tip-offs that Berry wasn't a Ponyville native.

Of course a pony with real training tended to move in a way that was more economical and precise, but Bon Bon assumed that Berry had grown up somewhere less pleasant than the Equestrian heartland.

She plastered on her best pleasant smile. "Good morning, Berry. Had a bad night? Lookin' for some coffee toffees to perk you up?"

The other mare grunted what was probably an agreement before browsing the shelves full of large jars of candy. "'m trying to remember Pinchy's favorites."

"Don't worry, I gotcha covered. I remember what most of the kids like." Bon Bon hated small-talk, but she also hated attention, and being known as the surly cuss at the candy store would be a lot more notable than being another generically pleasant salespony. "Something been keeping you up at night?"

Another grunt. Berry squeezed her eyes shut, rubbed a hoof across her face and sighed. "Pinchy's dreamin' up monsters under her bed. Dunno which of the little shits put the notion in her head. Sure wasn't Dinky. Been going for a few days now. Dunno what to do about it, either."

Kids didn't necessarily need any help coming up with flights of fancy of that nature, of course. So long as that was all it was. "Tried sending her to sleep at a friend's?"

Berry scoffed. "Yeah. She slept fine at Ditzy's place, but that just made her want to sleep at home less. I'm starting to consider switching our rooms. Not thrilled about moving all that furniture, but I'm out of ideas."

After a moment, she added, "I 'preciate that she treats Ditzy and Dinky like family and feels comfortable, but it hurts, having her so scared in our own house."

Fully understandable. Bon Bon was briefly reminded of Lyra's parents. Especially her mother always seemed eager to go on about how important it was to ponies to have a place to feel at home at. Places or ponies anyway. It was hard to watch a kid be terrified of what should feel like the safest place in the world.

"Y'know," Bon Bon mused. "Some monsters are real." Even the real monsters under the bed were generally not a threat to life and limb, being the cowardly sorts to pick on children, but you could harm a kid that young without touching her. Fear was a hell of a thing.

"What?" Berry stared at her with narrowed eyes.

The question wasn't the dismissive, slightly amused thing Bon Bon had expected. It was quiet and coldly furious, surprising her. "Well, we are pretty close to the Everfree," she hedged. "I'm just saying, it doesn't have to be something she made up."

"She's got a loft bed! I can stand upright under there, it's not exactly fit to hide anything," the other mare snarled in frustration.

Bon Bon nodded easily. Maybe this had been a mistake, but it probably wouldn't threaten her cover. She wasn't holding on to any illusions that she hadn't been put out to pasture for good. "A lot of grown ponies have some ... stifling ideas about what is and isn't real. Even if it is real, you can't see it, and it's not going to come after you because it's too simple to use adult fears."

Berry chewed her lip, glaring at nothing in particular. It took a while for her to respond. "Could I ... could I touch it? If I saw it?"

"Sure." It was honestly weird how easily the other earth pony bought into the idea. Ponies were afraid of so many things, including the other civilized species, but a lot of them arbitrarily drew the line at monsters preying on their children's fears. Nopony wanted to admit that their home wasn't a place of rest and shelter, Bon Bon supposed. That they weren't fully in control of their own home.

And yet, Berry seemed instead eager to believe that maybe there might be a target to attack to make this whole thing go away, instead of insisting that her daughter just had an imagination so active it caused harm. "Got a set of iron horseshoes? Might help, depending on specifics."

"Sure, sure," Berry agreed absently. "I'll screw in the studs, too." She frowned, apparently in thought. "What's the legal situation?"

"Come again?" She really hadn't expected that particular inquiry.

"Like, does something like that have, uh, protection by the law? I mean a gryphon looks pretty scary, too, but they're ... well, they're individuals."

Bon Bon shook her head. "If it's real, it's in your house, messing with your kid. And if anypony listens to this conversation, they'd think we lost our marbles."

"Or we're drunk," Berry agreed again. "I'm just ... just covering my bases. Can't afford legal trouble," she explained calmly. "What about the body?"

"The body?"

"Yeah, the body. The earthly remains. The corpse, you know?" Berry checked over her shoulder to make sure nopony else seemed to be approaching the storefront. "Does it just vanish in a puff of magic or am I gonna need to clean it up? Standing over a corpse in the middle of the night without a sack and a hacksaw at hoof would be a faux pas that'd be hard to live down, and I haven't exactly got tank fulla lye solution in my basement." She frowned more deeply. "If it leaves a mess, I'd rather not have Pinchy see it, either."

Bon Bon shifted uncomfortably. She'd been under the impression that using alkaline hydrolysis to dispose of bodies was rather specialized knowledge, limited to professionals who were concerned with sterilizing monster carcasses, plant matter, or plant monster carcasses while getting rid of them. Maybe the mare had family with an agricultural background. Certainly, Berry seemed to be a pony who thought ahead. "Uh, if it's real, and if you manage to do more than chase it off, it ought to dissipate, either immediately or exposed to sunlight, depending." There'd been theories that beasties like that were literally from the dream realms, probably to explain why they were so unexceptional in a physical confrontation and yet so effective at preying on children. Probably no way to confirm something like that, though.

Berry gave her a flat stare. "Bon Bon. Bons. I been watching my filly cry her eyes out in sheer terror at the idea of sleepin' in her own room. I'm feeling helpless. If this turns out to be a real critter doing that to her, I don't intent to foist the problem off on some other family." She bared her teeth. "So how do I spot this thing? If it's real."

"It's a question of mindset," Bon Bon explained. "It's using certain preconceived notions you're having about the nature of the world to shield itself from your perceptions. But if you can suspend your disbelief for long enough, you can get around that."

Berry seemed to mull this over for a few moments before responding. "Pretend like I'm from this town. Use your rube words. Just to make sure I got it."

"You're looking at the world the wrong way. You gotta force yourself to buy into the story to be able to touch it."

"A'ight, gotcha." Berry nodded eagerly. "How do I do that?"

Bon Bon sighed. The next part had often been hard for some ponies to really accept. "Well, most of us grow up thinking the world is safe, basically sensible and predictable, and that the Princess is looking after us. Any bits of the world which aren't safe are easy to avoid. The Everfree. The Hayseed swamp. Spots like that. Danger, where it exists, is contained."

The other pony chuckled, seeming embarrassed. "Yeah, before I had the foal, we used to mug saps who thought like that when they wandered into our neighborhood. The Princess might protect the Ponies, but expecting her to look out for individuals is askin' for a bit too much micromanagement. Being an invisible monster makes slipping through the cracks even easier, I bet."

"Uh, right you are." She felt a little thrown off script by the admission. "Well, you got a decent mindset for it, and emotional investment. Now that I've informed you, your mind ought to have permission to take note of the entity in question, even though that's not normally something good ponies buy into. Just remember. The world is totally indifferent. There's nothing saying that there can't be invisible monsters who feed on the kind of fear most grown-ups find rather quaint. You gotta stand there and want to believe." She shrugged. "If your filly isn't just having nightmares for some other reason."

Berry nodded along before hesitating. "Wait, it might read minds?"

"I'm not sure," Bon Bon admitted carefully. "A thing like that, if it's real, but hasn't done any physical harm to the kid, one could wonder if it doesn't get something more than sick thrills out of frightening children. It might sense your emotions, in a way."

"Great, maybe I can hate it to death." Berry smirked, appearing to look forward to the confrontation.

"Just remember, creatures like that aren't going to be any good in a real fight or they wouldn't need to pick on kids. Just don't let it frighten you, and don't get careless. Even a cornered rat might bite."

"Yeah, well, I'll bite back," the other pony quipped. "Still," she mused, "I'll probably be a bit out of my element. Don't suppose you could tag along?"

Bon Bon heaved a sigh. She'd probably been able to convince herself that Berry would have been fine, the mare had seemed confident enough, but if she said no now, her conscience would keep needling her. And while a mare looking out for her foal could be fierce, she might still be injured if she went at it by herself. "Fine," she grumbled. "Just don't tell anypony what we got up to. I'll be there once it's dark."

Getting to Berry Punch's house hadn't been a real problem, and Bon Bon knew how to stay beneath notice, so if anypony had seen her, they'd probably never get to wondering why she was out and about. Bon Bon wasn't the sort of pony anyone's mind got caught on when she didn't want it to happen.

She hadn't dealt with one of these bedroom haunts in forever, mostly because word rarely made it all the way to the agency. It was a very low profile sort of monster. She also suspected that their handlers at the home office might not have put very high priority on critters that affected single ponies at a time.

Pony communities weren't totally defenseless, of course. There was usually some elder or wise pony that everypony thought was a nutjob, but sooner or later somepony would be desperate enough to take their advice, however outlandish. Bon Bon was willing to bet that the local wise mare would have known what to do, but her being a zebra had the locals far too spooked to approach her. Her residence in the Everfree obviously didn't help. Maybe the old Apple matriarch might have been of help, too, but it was a moot point. She'd decided to involve herself, here she was now.

Berry greeted her at the door and let her in. It was a nice enough house, especially for just two ponies, but Bon Bon could tell that the last cleaning job had been done mostly for effect. Either her host generally wasn't particularly fastidious or had cleaned in a hurry to leave a better impression.

"Glad you came," Berry nodded. "Pinchy's squared away, having a sleepover. Fancy a drink before we go have a look at her room?"

"Nah, I'm good." She smelled alcohol on the other mare's breath, but she seemed steady, so she probably hadn't had more than was good for her. "Rather just get it over with."

"Fair." Berry grabbed a sizeable iron pry bar from the dinner table. "Got steel horseshoes, didn't know if that counted, so I brought this. How much noise is this gonna make?"

"Ponies aren't gonna hear this thing any more than they'll see it. It's not technically invisible, it gets straight into your head and prevents perception by every sense." Bon Bon stepped over to a window. "Soundwaves do go further than that effect, but we'll be done by the time anypony far enough to hear takes an interest."

Berry took a moment to respond. "I get it. I can keep my mouth shut while we work."

"Good. Let's go take care of it."

"Right. Upstairs."

The filly's room was tidy. It had the requisite collection of soft toys, some story books on a shelf, and a modular wooden train set with a crate full of spare track sections and a train linked together by magnets. Berry regarded it fondly. "Pinchy loves trains. Thought she was gonna burst from excitement when I talked the engineers into letting her and Dinky check out the cab on a real locomotive."

"That's cute," Bon Bon smiled. She had to admit that she sometimes only half-listened when kids excitedly rambled at her about their latest object of fascination while in her store.

Berry cast a suspicious glance at her daughter's bed. The play area underneath the loft bed was sectioned off by a curtain, and Bon Bon assumed that until recently, having a dark hiding place of that size had probably been fun for the kid. "A'ight." She took the pry bar into her mouth and started sorting the train set into its crate methodically. Apparently she wasn't in such a hurry that she'd risk damaging Pinchy's toys.

Bon Bon kept her eye on the bed as well. There wasn't a closet connected to the room, and no large wardrobe. Ponies didn't own a lot of clothing in this region. A chest of drawers and somewhere to hang a raincoat would usually suffice.

"Shoulda gotten this out of the way earlier," Berry muttered around the weapon between her teeth.

Bon Bon only shrugged as she watched Berry move the toy crate into the room's other corner before the mare sat down in the center of the room. She twisted her neck until a joint popped.

With eyes closed, Berry took the prybar between her hooves and spoke up again. "Alright. The world's a hostile place. There's monsters other than ponies. Nowhere's safe unless we make it so." She opened her eyes. "Like that?"

"Nothing to do but try," Bon Bon stated evenly. Sure, she could have just walked into the room, checked under the bed and then subdued the monster, if one turned out to be there. But letting Berry psych herself up to it would help the other mare feel like she had made her own home safe again. Berry pulled open the curtain.

Before the other pony could poke the end of the pry bar into a corner that was too dark, something moved within, slipping by Berry and rearing up, maybe as tall as a pony on their hind legs. It was little more than a nebulous black mass with indistinct limbs to Bon Bon, which she took as a good sign. If the critter could only show something scary to one pony at a time, it generally meant you were facing a pretty weak variant.

She didn't know what Berry saw, but the other earth pony didn't lose any time, swinging her weapon at the beast in a wide arc. The critter barely avoided the full force of the strike in time, probably unaccustomed to facing aggression of this sort.

Bon Bon wasn't sure she was needed at all. Berry Punch laid into her target without hesitation, fear, or pity, and the fragile creature didn't have much resistance to offer against a determined earth pony. It screeched horribly as it took a few nasty hits from the pry bar.

Still, her past comment about cornered rats seemed to hold true as flailing limbs beat Berry about the face and neck, getting her to let off the pressure. Nopony liked getting their eyes gouged if they could avoid it. Berry dropped her bludgeon as she shielded her eyes, whether by accident or mistake, Bon Bon wasn't sure.

The beast took the opening to skitter towards Bon Bon, perhaps assuming her to be a less resolute target. She suspected it was mostly interested in the door out of the room. If it escaped now, it'd just end up bothering some other foal in town. The message had to be rammed home quite forcefully to make a critter of that nature avoid a settlement entirely.

Bon Bon hoped the beast could taste her contempt. She couldn't even get worked up on its account. Dispassionate loathing was about the most she felt. She'd taken down real predators in her day. This thing was vermin.

She spun about, stomped her front legs down and gave the beast a well placed buck. Probably well placed. It was always hard to tell with things that didn't belong into the real world.

Berry was quick to take advantage as the beast staggered backwards to keep from keeling over entirely. She shoved it against the filly's desk with considerable force, although the edges of it were all rounded off, so it was probably painful but not as harmful as Berry might have hoped. Small toys and other knick-knacks rattled on the desk.

Berry Punch made no noise except an occasional grunt of exertion as she slammed the entity against the desk a few more times before it slipped from her hooves, changing to take on a more recognizably equine shape. It still seemed indistinct to Bon Bon, but its cries of pain were clearly that of a pony.

Bon Bon was glad Pinchy wasn't in the house. Would be kind of bad to have the kid come in and see her mother viciously beat someone who looked and sounded like a pony rather than a monster. Regardless of context, that kind of thing would stick with an impressionable filly.

She assumed that the critter might be hoping that its assailant would hesitate to brutalize another pony, but if so, it didn't have any luck with Berry. Presently the mare had decided to switch things up and started smashing the pitiful creature's face into the wall. Its wails eventually took on that distinct tone of a pony with a very bloodily broken nose.

Truth be told, Bon Bon was getting a little uncomfortable. Couldn't be helped, especially since she could now clearly perceive the creature as a pegasus stallion, looking at her pleadingly.

Nopony else in town would recognize this particular guy, but Bon Bon knew immediately. Sometimes she wondered if he'd still be alive if she had noticed that the instructors hadn't properly beaten that typically cocky Cloudsdale attitude out of him. Standards had been slipping, but she hadn't thought it had been that bad yet, at the time. He'd had something to prove, and that made a pony careless.

"Help me," it begged weakly.

"That's not how he died, you fucking amateur," Bon Bon ground out, trembling with sudden fury. It lasted only moments, to be replaced with shame that this pest had found a button to push.

"Hey, language!!" Berry Punch didn't taunt the beast, or gloat, or quip. She gave no indication that she took any kind of unhealthy joy in the deed. She just methodically kept about the work of beating to death a creature unable to mount any credible resistance.

If Berry was ever going to have a moment of introspection, she probably wouldn't be able to tell herself that she'd been too worked up to think clearly.

Bon Bon knew that if they let the critter go now, it was unlikely to return to this neighborhood, perhaps even the town as a whole. They'd achieved their objective. Still, the creature would probably go on to pick on some kid in another town. She didn't know if this thing could learn a lasting lesson and just leave ponies alone entirely.

There had been disagreement on whether they somehow survived off terrorizing children, or if they only did so because they came from the realm of dreams and it didn't occur to them not to be nightmarish. Like characters in a scary story. It wasn't even clear if it died or was just banished from the physical realm. It was hard to be certain of anything, regarding that kind of magic. Hard to be certain that it was necessary to kill the creature.

She scowled and said nothing.

The entity's ineffectual defense had weakened further, it was on its back and holding its face, moaning in pain. Berry reared up and brought her hoofs down on its ribs, again and again.

It died less bloodily than a real pony would after this much blunt trauma directed at it, but die it did in the end.

Berry Punch was breathing heavily. "Hope you were right about the body disappearing."

"Just give it a minute," Bon Bon assured her. "You got any neutral spirits in the house?"

"Uh, are you alright, Bons?" Berry looked up from the corpse and immediately sounded touchingly concerned for her. "What'd it look like to you? I didn't see anything I'd have to pour that much booze on."

"I'm not drinking to forget," Bon Bon stated evenly. "But this is going to leave some residue, and it'll keep in alcohol."

"That's kinda gross, Bons. Why'd you wanna keep that?" A note of disgust in Berry's voice.

"The zebra who comes into town every so often might find a use for it. And you ought to ask if she knows a way to keep critters like that out of your house in the future."

"Aw, that mare is creepy." Berry made no effort to suppress a shudder.

"What, because she wears a spooky cloak?" It seemed ridiculous that the other mare should be disquieted by an eccentric zebra, especially now.

"Everything she says is in rhyme!" Berry sounded genuinely unsettled. "How far do ya gotta twist your own mind until that comes natural? That's just so weird."

Bon Bon chuckled. Alcohol of sufficient purity could be useful in a lot of alchemical ways, so she supposed the zebra had approached Berry before and actually spoken to her, which most of Ponyville probably couldn't claim. "Yeah, it's hard. She had to learn our language, and then had to learn rhyming in it. If I put that much effort into developing an eccentric affectation, I wouldn't be willing to revert to normal at the slightest provocation."

There was a long pause. The corpse was all but gone and Berry watched it fade. "I don't wanna go back to how I was, either, Bon Bon. I put a lot of work into all this, too."

Too complicated a topic for Bon Bon's taste, really. She tried to imagine what Lyra would say. "We're the same ponies we always were, Berry. We just make different choices now. Just keep pushing forward. Make new memories with your daughter. A few years down the line, you look back at memories from now and that's who you are." Bon Bon actually felt a lot better, to hear at least some acknowledgement that the other mare was aware that the ease with which she'd done the deed was a bit unusual. One tended to expect a bit more overt anger from a mother protecting her foal.

"I hope you're right." Berry shook her head and heaved a sigh. "I'll be back with a jar of booze in a moment."

After Berry had locked away the preserved residue of the critter, they'd ended up sitting at the top of the stairs. She'd come up with a glass jar full of sludgy red liquid and hoofed it to Bon Bon with a grin which raised her suspicions. "Here, have a go at this."

Bon Bon had figured that a drink wouldn't go amiss right now, but she regretted trying the concoction immediately. There was a distinct tomato flavor, but the experience was altogether vile and stuck to her tongue and gums in a most unpleasant way, ensuring that the bad taste lingered for far too long. "Great. This is how I die."

Berry snickered a little. "Horrible, isn't it? Maybe I can sell it to folk with more guts than sense."

"What is it?"

"Made it from ketchup packets I nicked from the Hayburger. Y'can ferment just about anything organic, y'know?" She extended a hoof. "C'mon, pass is back."

She watched Berry take a gulp of the offensive beverage. "You know you could just buy tomatoes like a normal pony, right?"

"Yeah yeah. I always try to buy up produce that's too banged up for sale as is. Once the product has been through the still a few times, it doesn't matter what it used to be. At least not for the, uh, medicinal stuff."

Berry held the jar out again, and what was left of Bon Bon's self preservation instincts watched in mute horror as she accepted the offering. "You got a lot of customers for just straight alcohol?"

"Couple regulars, yeah. Ponyville General is always good for a few jars, and a lot of workponies around town think it's good as a solvent or paint thinner. It's probably a farmer thing, you know, dubious about just buying some chemical solution they invented in the big city. I hope my other customers use it for cooking or making their own liquors and don't drink it straight." She sighed. "We gotta at least pretend we're there for something other than immediately getting smashed."

"Makes sense. More sense than this atrocity, at least. Why?"

"Just to say I could," Berry shrugged. "That's almost exactly like something you'd brew up in a trash bag in a cell. I'm pretty happy that the quality of my equipment here didn't accidentally elevate the product." Her grin was infectious. "That's how I got my cutie mark, you know. Had a bunkmate in juvie who showed me how. With fruit, anyhow."

Bon Bon rolled her eyes and took another gulp. "I am so proud of you. Just sell it as prison hooch and ponies will buy it just for curiosity's sake."

"Yeah, that's what I've been considering." Berry paused and gave Bon Bon a curious look. "So how come you knew what to do about this guy? Like, the soundwaves thing? Pretty specific."

Well, that had been a slip. She could have just told Berry not to worry about it. Bon Bon gave the jar back and affected a fond smile. "My grandma was a very peculiar mare." Completely true and unrelated to how Bon Bon actually acquired most of her knowledge. "She taught me how to make improvised incendiaries against timber wolves and other problematic plants. My parents were extremely cross about it."

"Well, I wouldn't wanna try to get close enough to a critter like that to use a match on it, and waving burning sticks only goes so far, I guess," Berry reasoned. "Maybe when Pinchy's older that's something to look into."

"Yeah, you gotta get unicorns started on alternatives like that early, otherwise they get really set in their ways and use magic for everything," Bon Bon explained. "I was real surprised when Lyra's mom agreed with me there, considering Lyra used to go to school in Canterlot. Sometimes you wanna have something like that prepared, because lighting a fuse and throwing something takes a lot less out of a unicorn than just trying to burn something down by magic." Bon Bon smiled. She was very fond of Lyra's parents. "If you have time to prepare, there's no reason to waste so much of your own energy when chemical reactions bring a lot to the table. And complicated spells take concentration, I'm told. Chucking a grenade, not so much."

"That makes a lot of sense. I mean ... I want Pinchy to grow up into a good pony, but I don't want her to be a pushover if it comes down to it." Berry rubbed the back of her neck, a little embarrassed. "I didn't get much out of school. Skipped too much. I mean, I can read and I'm good with numbers, enough for my business, but that's about it. But ... I'd love Pinchy to grow up curious about the world. I mean, fermentation and the still, that's basically chemistry, too. Maybe I ought to get a book about it to help me explain it to her."

"I getcha, Berry." She was beginning to feel less nauseous from the drink. "It's a real weird culture in primarily unicorn families, where they lean really heavily on their horn in daily life, but when push comes to shove, they're barely aware what a weapon it can be. It's practically the worst of both worlds. Yeah, real combat magic is hard and sometimes impractical, but you're limiting yourself if you only know what you can't do, and don't know what you could do."

"Hrm. I've been in a lot of fights I would have lost, or lost worse than I did, if the unicorn had a better idea what their horn can do, I think." Berry grinned. "Ah, maybe they don't want the rest of us constantly worrying about getting our windpipes caved in from across the room. Kinda poisons the mood, don'tcha think?"

"I suppose it would," Bon Bon agreed. It was probably for the best that most unicorns didn't learn to get really ruthlessly creative with their magic outside of the Guard and related agencies. Besides, most unicorns just weren't that strong with their magic. Additionally, most ponies in general spent a lot less time thinking about how to do grievous harm to other ponies than Berry apparently did.

"Still," the other earth pony mused. "I'll be damned if I ever make her feel like I'd rather have her be some other kinda pony. Don't suppose your room mate could talk to her and Dinky about magic sometime? I don't know any unicorns, locally."

Bon Bon quirked a brow, feeling more than a little surprised. "Seriously? I didn't think anypony didn't know we're a couple."

Berry did look surprised, but grinned. "Hah, nice. Sorry, I don't pay much attention to other ponies. Not my business anyway."

"Well, I'm sure she would be up for it. She usually has time to spare." She was sure some ponies thought Lyra was a layabout, since all she visibly did was a little busking when she felt like it while Bon Bon's business brought in most of their money. Other paid opportunities to play music occurred irregularly. She shook her head. "So how you feeling now?"

"Like a million bits, Bons. A million bits. My daughter can feel safe in our home again. Can't put a price on that." The mare smiled with genuine warmth, a stark contrast to the apparent indifference with which she'd killed her enemy earlier. At length, she added, "Actually maybe I did something to my left foreleg. Kinda got a twinge in it when I move it wrong. I guess you can stomp in a pony's ribs too much." She snickered to herself.

"Hm, probably nothing serious."

"Yeah," Berry nodded, taking another drink, grimacing. "So how you holdin' up? He kinda got to you there, at the end."

"I'd hardly call it getting to me. Pushed a button, I guess. Pegasus I knew who passed away. A pony sometimes gets to wondering if they coulda done anything." She shrugged. "Told you the monster would be bad at messing with adults. I know for sure he didn't get battered to death for messing with a mare's kid." She held out her hooves, gesturing for the jar. Neither of them seemed willing to take particularly large gulps of the awful swill. "You ever lose a friend like that? I gather you didn't grow up in a peaceful town like this."

Ponyville didn't have a lot of ponies Bon Bon felt she could talk to. Sure, there were secrets she had to keep, but even regarding vague generalities, a lot of ponies seemed rather sheltered to her.

Berry shrugged. "Seen my share of ponies get messed up badly in fights, gone to the ICU and didn't come back out. Nopony close enough that I'd feel anything about it. Cost of doing business, I guess."

Seemed a mite callous to Bon Bon. "So what'd you see?"

"Heh. My mother. You were right, that guy was awful at messin' with grown-ups." Obvious amusement swung in her voice. "I'm pretty good at taking apart ponies, so that wasn't a smart move."

"That still sounds unpleasant." Depending on how vivid the image, she would probably feel a little shaken up about it, even if it wouldn't have actually fooled into stopping her attack. Beating up a mere image of her mother would still feel wrong. "Don't get along with her?"

"We're not talking about my mother," Berry deadpanned before smirking again. "I guess I just wish he hadn't tried to get under your skin, because putting her face on really improved the whole experience for me. Was sad to see it go." She scoffed. "How old do I look, five?"

"Hm. And you're really okay? I don't mean to harp on this, but you'll do the kid no favors by bottling it up and letting it fester. Yeah, it was a monster, but killing still kind of bothers some ponies." And what an understatement that was.

"Noo? I mean yes, I'm fine, no, I'm not bothered. I mean, it's a fair question," Berry rambled. "I can't promise everypony I got into fights with turned out alright, but this was the first time ... you know. The first time I meant to do 'em in." She rubbed her chin, sporting a thoughtful look before shrugging. "Yikes, where would I even start manufacturin' some emotional problems with this? Wasn't anypony I liked, and it wasn't anypony dear to a pony I like, because then at least I could feel upset about ruining a friend's day, I guess. This guy was nopony to anypony and the law's not gonna be on my back about it." She frowned. "Great, now it's gonna bug me all week that it's not buggin' me."

That seemed a little difficult to swallow, but the prospect of kicking off an argument by trying to dig some kind of repressed emotional reaction out of the other mare didn't appeal right now. "That's it?"

"I dunno what to tell ya, Bons. That's just a piece I'm missing." She shrugged again before extending a hoof. "Anyway, friends?"

Bon Bon shook hooves with the other pony. "Eh, don't see why not. Lyra's always on about how I ought to make some friends and stop isolating myself behind my counter."

"Yeah, Ditzy sometimes gets on my case, too. I don't give ponies enough credit or something." Berry shook her head. "Well, I ought to tell you about her."

"I know who she is. I'm on her mail route, and she usually swings by before Lyra is even out of bed."

Berry grew unusually serious. More serious anyway then when she'd been talking about violence. "This is important to me. She's like family to me, alright? Her and Dinky both. That's ... that's my family here, I guess." She stopped short and shook her head. "I mean, we're not a couple or anything, but well, I've never felt as close to anypony else and that includes Pinchy's sire." After chewing her lip for a moment, she took a long drink from the nearly depleted jar, finally finishing it off.

"Well, I wouldn't tell anypony how they ought to put together a family. She seems like a nice enough mare." Easily flustered according to Lyra, but Bon Bon herself didn't feel as though she got out enough to form a complete picture of the mailmare.

"Me'n Pinchy are both better off for having her around," Berry stared off at nothing in particular. "Kept each other from going nuts with stress when the kids were really young. But she's got ... detractors." She ground her teeth in helpless frustration. "She gets a little sloppy when she's nervous or rushed, I guess. That's ... that's fair. But some ponies just treat her like she's thick, and she isn't. But she's got the eye, which doesn't seem to bug her, and she's got that sorta slow-paced way of talking. And ponies get so mean-spirited about it, I hate it. Back in Las Pegasus I'd have knocked their teeth out for a lesson." Scowling bitterly, she added, "but Ponyville's too 'nice', so I gotta let them run their fucking mouths."

Bon Bon felt awkward. She might have been pretty curt with the mailmare once or twice over minor irritations. "She seems happy enough. Now I'm feelin' bad for being short with her."

"Eh, I'll take a surly cuss over somepony who's trying to tear her down any day." Berry glowered at her. "Ditzy barely cares anyway. Rolls right off her back, most days. But sometimes it happens when her daughter is right there and it just guts the kid. Makes my teeth itch. But as a responsible grown-up, I can't just go around ripping ponies' ears off. All I can do is tell the kids that some ponies are just jerks." She huffed. "Yeah it's nice for Ditzy that it doesn't bother her, but I don't want the fillies to think that getting upset is a mistake they're making, right?"

"I guess that makes sense," Bon Bon allowed. "Not reacting at all might teach 'em that whatever's upsetting them isn't actually a bad thing, and they might start thinking that they're wrong to, well, feel. Uh, at least that's what I heard. Even if you can't stop some ponies from being mean to Ditzy, it'll help her kid to know that she's not alone in getting worked up about it. If you didn't react either, they might even take it for implicit approval."

"Hum. Good to know I'm doing something right." Berry paused for a long while before sighing. "Wish you coulda said something like that to my stepdad when I was a kid. Maybe he coulda grown a spine." She got up, looking morose. "I need a drink. You up for another? It'll be better than the last, promise."

"Nah, thanks. I should be getting home. Drop by the store sometime and let me know how your kid's sleeping."

"That's fair. Have a good night, and I'll see you around."

Nearly a week passed before she saw Berry Punch in her store again. Lyra had assured her that she'd seen both ponies about town, so Bon Bon had assumed that things were fine and Berry's daughter slept more or less soundly again.

It was just about closing time, and the day had been pleasant. Lyra had sat in the corner, making music and conversation. Bon Bon wasn't sure if perhaps the music attracted an extra customer every so often, but that wasn't the point. The time just passed more pleasantly this way.

Berry entered, her filly in tow. The little unicorn jumped off her mother's back and zoomed towards Bon Bon. She didn't like ponies coming behind the counter, but she decided to make an exception as the filly clamped onto her leg. "Thanks for telling mommy how to fight monsters, Miss Bon Bon!"

"Hey, no worries. You sleeping properly again?" Bon Bon didn't actually think of herself as very good at talking to young children about things other than candy.

Pinchy nodded hard enough, Bon Bon worried that her head would pop off. From across the room, Lyra grinned hugely, aware that Bon Bon felt awkward in this position. Still, she'd probably ask what the kid had meant later.

"Good." She reached down to tussle the kid's mane. "Can't have a nice pony like you afraid of going to bed." After a moment's thought, she looked at the other earth pony. "Say, Berry, you think the kid would like to see the kitchen where I make all this candy?"

"Yes, please! Please say yes, mommy!" The kid practically bounced in place, curiosity making her enthusiastic.

Berry stepped closer to the counter, giving Bon Bon an odd look. She had wine on her breath. "Sure. Got no problem with that."

Bon Bon nodded. "Lyra, you mind showing the kid around? Gotta have a quick talk with Berry here."

"You're letting two ponies into your kitchen unsupervised?" Lyra pretended to gasp before getting up from her spot. "Yeah, sure. C'mon."

The last thing Bon Bon heard clearly before she closed the door behind the two unicorns was Lyra inquiring what the kid's feeling about action figures were. She smiled fondly before redirecting her attention to Berry. "How you holding up?" Ponies would tell each other that they weren't made for violence, but a species probably didn't get very far if it didn't defend the children. Still, it would be a shame if Berry got self-doubt in her head about what kind of pony she was.

"Didn't we go over that? I'm feeling good!"

Maybe Bon Bon hadn't looked entirely convinced, because Berry sighed in seeming exasperation. Her gaze hardened and she continued more stiffly "Look. I need to like a pony to care. I'd be pretty bummed out if something happened to you. I'd wanna help you out! But your ladyfriend? Well, her music's nice, but I hardly know her. But I'm not stupid. I know if something happens to her, that'll probably hurt you worse. So I'd decide to help, if I could." She worked her jaw and frowned. "I'm doing my best to muddle through this, because Pinchy ought to have a good example. But it doesn't come naturally. Yeah, I killed that guy. I trusted you that nothing was gonna come of it. So it doesn't bug me." She offered a crooked smile. "Actually pretty good to know, isn't it?"

It was just super to know that Berry had killed an intelligent creature and didn't even have the common courtesy to put up the usual shields of 'well it was just a monster' or 'it had to be done' because she had no urge to calm her conscience.

Obviously Bon Bon had been taught how to keep some emotional distance to distasteful deeds herself, useful for any line of work that included the risk of fighting, because an agent ought to be able to minimize risks to the team and to civilians and not feel bad about what it took to achieve that, but seeing it naturally occuring was vaguely unsettling. "Well, you might wanna keep that to yourself."

"Aw, don't look so worried," Berry chortled. "It's not like I'll go around rubbing out anypony who looks at me funny. I got a filly to raise, I can't risk doing time! Besides, just because I don't beat myself up over it, doesn't mean I wanna see anypony dead. I mean, everypony's some father's kid or somepony's mom or big sister or something. Hate to imagine upsetting a filly like Pinchy, or a nice pony like Ditzy."

"Fair enough. I'll quit going on about it." Well, better to be friends with the morally unburdened neighbor than not. "Hell, I bet Lyra's mom would have done the same thing and then bragged about it, but she's not originally Equestrian, so I always just shrugged it off."

Berry nodded. "Anyway, I didn't tell Pinchy you were there to help me out, just that you told me how to go about it. Figured if she talks about it with someone else, they'll just figure I humored her real convincingly."

"Yeah, having both of us in the story might make ponies wonder why you needed me instead of immediately brushing it off. Appreciate the discretion."

"Exactly!" Berry smiled happily. "I can't possibly thank you enough for watching my back. You let me do right by my daughter. I won't forget that." She turned serious. "If you ever need anything, let me know. Any time of day or night."

That did give Bon Bon a warm feeling of accomplishment. It was great to help ponies help themselves. "Don't worry about it, I was glad to help."

Berry frowned. "I'm serious. Everypony knows that the monster under the bed isn't real. And everypony knows goons like me don't raise good ponies. But there's nothing I want more in life than Pinchy growin' up happy, safe and ... and happy with herself. And I'm always fumbling about, pretending to be ...normal, I guess, and trying to give her something I didn't have. And any bit of help I can get ... well, as I said. Thanks."

Bon Bon thought she understood what the other earth pony was getting at. Berry was mostly looking at things in terms of how they'd affect her daughter. So she was acting the part of a good citizen out of concern for the consequences of doing otherwise, not because social behavior came to her naturally, as it did with most ponies. "I get it, I think. Ponyville's nothing like my old life, and I just want to take it slow and easy here."

"I guess small towns like this one are good for that," Berry agreed vaguely. She stared at Bon Bon inquisitively for a moment.

"Apparently so. But seriously, Berry? Ponies can't read minds. Acting like a decent sort is all anypony needs to do. And if we do it long enough, that's who we are."

Curiosity intensified in Berry's expression. "Didn't take you for a mare who has to convince herself of that."

She felt herself scowl, feeling like she'd been caught at something. "That's none of your business."

Berry didn't flinch back from the sudden anger and merely nodded. "Fair enough. Forget I said anything."

"No worries." Bon Bon put her smile back on., but wasn't going to explain why Berry had touched a nerve. Sweetie Drops was gone. Bon Bon had to be real.

"Sooo," Berry drew out the word. "Anyway, if anypony gives you lip, let me know, right?"

"About?"

Berry seemed embarrassed. "Well, you know, the lesbian thing. I haven't been paying attention. But if anypony gives you or your mare a hard time, you just let me know and I'll sort them out. Least I can do for helping me out."

Bon Bon was at least grateful that Berry hadn't called her a filly fooler. Even without a literal filly of probably not more than seven years in her house, the term wouldn't have sat right with her. She depended on ponies being comfortable sending their kids into her store.

The little unicorn had picked that moment to return ahead of Lyra. "What's a lesbian?"

"That's a mare who needs another mare for a special somepony, Pinchy," Berry explained easily. "Something for grown-ups to worry about."

"Oh, okay."

Lyra looked downright disappointed that Berry hadn't been more embarrased by the question, but Bon Bon hoped the kid would go back to browsing candy instead of pursuing the topic.

No such luck.

"Is that bad?"

"No." Berry took a step over to her daughter and pulled the kid closer to face her. "And it's not your business what kinda special somepony other folks need to be happy, anyway, okay? It's kind of a rude thing to ask unless you're already good friends."

"Okay, mommy." Ruby Pinch nodded seriously.

Hopefully the lack of awkwardness Berry put on display would communicate that the topic really wasn't that exciting. Kids probably got especially interested if something seemed to make their parents uncomfortable.

"There's no call to get yourself into trouble on account of us," Lyra piped up. "We haven't had any problems in Ponyville at all. Nothing I noticed anyway, and I'm out and about way more than Bonny."

"True," Bon Bon admitted.

"Fair enough," Berry nodded, offering Lyra a smile. "Couple days ago I asked if maybe you could talk to Pinchy and her friend about magic. Did Bons mention that? I'm a bit worried about early development since neither of them got any unicorn family."

Lyra regarded the smaller unicorn fondly. "I could, yeah. Might have to send a letter to mom and ask for pointers, but hey, nice to get some use out of that Canterlot education, huh?" She chuckled. "Been trying to move stuff yet, Pinchy?"

"Yes, but I can't," the filly replied sadly.

"Well, you are pretty young. It's not good to force it too much, so try and take it easy, alright?"

"Okay..."

Lyra sounded encouraging. "Even without using your horn, I can tell you some secrets about magic that your mom wouldn't know. It'll be fun!"

It was a frustrating phase for young unicorns, where they understood what set them apart from the other tribes, but couldn't actually do it yet, and they probably hardly remembered the uncontrolled surges of their infancy.

Berry tussled the filly's hair. "Remember to say thanks. Then pick out some candy. You know what Dinky likes, right? Then we'll go and give her and her mom the good news."

"Thank you Lyra!" The small unicorn ran off to inspect the goods.

Lyra kept an eye on the kid. Nothing really in range for a child to knock down, but they were like cats that way, you couldn't get complacent. Fortunately, Lyra's was better than average at telekinesis, which Bon Bon considered to be a bit of a safety net. "Looks like you're feeding her right," she idly commented

"Mhm." Berry nodded. "The last time a guy acted like Ditzy and me don't raise our kids properly, I broke his teeth out on the edge of the bar," she replied evenly. "Mayor Mare had me picking litter for weeks after that."

Lyra winced, but rallied quickly. "You sound like my mother." She shook her head. "Little unicorns waste tons of energy trying to force their magic to come in. I eat less than Bonny. My magic's efficient."

Bon Bon snorted. "I eat more because I work out. If you at least came running with me, you'd eat properly, too."

Lyra rolled her eyes. "Or I could just continue to enjoy my amazing ability to sleep six to eight hours without interruption. Some of us don't need to entertain ourselves in the middle of the night."

She felt herself scowling. "That's cheap and you know it. I can't help it. Besides, you'd sleep sixteen hours a day if I didn't toss you out of bed at some point. I'd get lonely," Bon Bon conceded.

"Uh, could we get back on topic?" Berry glowered, not particularly amused by the bickering. "Anyway, my stepfather's a unicorn and he warned me about that." She shrugged. "Pinchy's been eating an egg a day since before she was properly weaned off. I know Ditzy tried to get them to like sardines, but that was a bust. I knew a lot of really scrawny folks, growing up. Poor neighborhood, neglectful parents ... that wasn't gonna be our kids."

"I didn't mean to imply anything, Berry. I'm sorry I made you feel that way." Lyra smiled and appeared calm. It wasn't as though she didn't have plenty of practice defusing unanticipated anger. Bon Bon had no illusions about how easy she was to be around on bad days. "But yeah, depending on how hard they're trying, some of these kids metabolize like blast furnaces, especially if their parents push them too early."

"Alright, I get it. I'm just not used to having ponies in my corner, and it felt like you hit a sore spot." Berry shook her head before checking on her daughter. "Pinchy, tell Bons what you and Dinky want and we'll head out. Ditzy'll want to hear that I made some friends, too."

"Right. Just let me know when your fillies got time. As a professional loafer, my schedule's flexible." Lyra grinned brightly before settling back into her corner with her lyre.

It was going to be a bit strange to have a friend other than Lyra, but Berry seemed to have her own issues and wasn't likely to go digging into Bon Bon's past baggage.

"Maybe we can hit the bar on the weekend together, huh? Get you out of the house?" Berry grinned as she counted out bits to pay for candy.

"Sure. Just swing by, I'm not gonna be anywhere else."

Author's Note

I was thinking about how the Berry Punch of my story Drastic Measures might have made friends with Bon Bon and Lyra.

For the curious, alkaline hydrolysis was first described in a patent from 1888. Stick your organic matter into a tank full of lye and water, apply heat and pressure for long enough, what comes out is thin enough to pour down the drain.