The Fake Santa

by ComedySketch

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Other, Romance, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie
Length: 1924

Rainbow Dash Finds Out The Truth About Santa And Receives An Unexpected Hearth's Warming Gift

Rainbow always believed in Santa Hooves since she was a little filly, even if other colts and mares made fun of her for thinking of it. But one night, that thought will be changed forever

The Idea came from a game of Cards Against Humanity with The Lost Narrator and many other amazing patrons and one of the Cards was: Rainbow Dash woke up vionlently after having a dream about _____. And one of the players played the “Finding Out Santa isn’t real” card. After that, Lost said she wanted a fanfic of this, so yesterday, I worked all day prepping this fanfic and got it done this morning! :D

Published 2018-01-22 17:50:11 UTC
Last updated 2018-01-22 17:50:11 UTC

The Real Meaning of Hearth's Warming

Rainbow trotted to her now-sobbing friend and tapped her hoof.

"Pinkie, I have something to tell you" she told Pinkie, with a heart-melting smile. Pinkie looked up from her teary pool in confusion.

"W-what's that Dashie?" she asked, still wondering what Rainbow has to say.Rainbow spoke up, beginning her speech.

"I know I believe in Santa Hooves, ever since I was a little filly, I always believed him to be a real thing and not some story told by a narrator for excitement purposes."she explained, still continuing "But now, I'm starting to believe that is true. I mean, I know I'm a Daring Do fanatic that smells of Skittles™ and sweat from Wonderbolt practice, but, since I am the element of loyalty, I think I should look past those stories that should be considered as myths, because I don't need those to keep me happy, because, all I want for Hearth's Warming...are amazing and great friends like you and Fluttershy because I love you all and I always will." Rainbow explained with the same smile she had before her speech.

Pinkie beamed, tears still streaming down her face as she got up and hugged her friend with tears of joy. She gave a sniffle or two as she hugged Rainbow tighter.

"R-Rainbow, that was so sweet, I'm so glad you're my friend, and I'll always remember you as one of my greatest allies forever!" Pinkie said as she hugged her rainbow-maned mare friend (Not the kind you think). They finally let go of their hug as they stared into each other's eyes in a friendly manner. Rainbow was about to speak up, when her thoughts were interrupted by the sloppy sounds of something liquidy. She and Pinkie wondered where the sound had come from. They knew it wasn't Fluttershy or Lost since one was in the living room and the other left to be with her fiancé. Rainbow then understood where the sloshy sounds came from...The bedroom!

Pinkie and Rainbow quickly trotted upstairs, Fluttershy following behind. Rainbow slammed the door open and stood there, shocked of what she just saw. There, sitting in her bed, shaking a big bowl of jello, was Uganda Knuckles. He stared at Rainbow with his cold, lifeless eyes.

"Do you kno da wae?" he asked.

"The way to where?" Rainbow answered in confusion. Knuckles pulled out a piece of paper revealing a map. It was labeled "Da Wae" which was illustrated with a crude, stick figure drawing of not just him, but what looked like a whole army of his kind followed by a dotted line and ending at a picture of a woman with green hair and had a watermelon slice in her hair.

"My kind have traveled here to find our queen, Queen Vannamelon. We last saw her in the produce isle of Wegmans, later that night, she was gone. We need to find her otherwise our kind will die!" Knuckles responded.

Fluttershy walked up to Knuckles and pointed her hoof in a direction. Knuckles nodded his head and pulled out a portal gun. He shot it at the wall as the portal rippled with no force as he left.

"YEET!" Knuckles shouted as he lept inside and the portal disappeared. Rainbow stared, jaw open and wanted to know what the hell just happened. But she couldn't speak, she was that confused as if it was a mindfuck, which it was.

A Surprise She Will Never Forget

Rainbow's senses came back to her after what she just witnessed as she sat down, knowing that Santa Hooves really was a myth, as she sat down on her bed. Pinkie felt bad for Rainbow and walked up to her bed, gently placing a hoof on her back.

"Dashie, it's ok" Pinkie told her softly.

"No" Rainbow responded. "I have believed him all my life, and now that I found out the truth, I think my dreams are crushed."

"But, remember what you said earlier, when you mentioned that you don't need him to make your Hearth's Warming special?" Pinkie asked. Rainbow nodded her head.

"I only said that so you would stop crying, I don't like seeing my friends cry" Rainbow mentioned "But, you are my friend, and I'd do anything to make my friends happy" she said as they embraced in a gentle hug.

Suddenly, Rainbow heard a familiar sound, a jingle of bells. Rainbow shot up from her sorrow as she and Pinkie ran up to the window. Rainbow beamed when she saw a familiar shape of a sleigh...it was Santa's. Rainbow squealed in excitement as she and Pinkie ran outside and stood on a nearby cloud. Santa's sleigh floated above them and past Luna's Moon. They saw Lost leading the reindeer as she waved to them.

“HAPPY HEARTH’S WARMING MOTHERFUCKERS!” Lost shouted from above.

Rainbow and Pinkie were squealing with excitement as Santa waved to them as well. Rainbow and Pinkie waved back in happiness. The snow patted down onto the equestrian ground as it was covered in a blanket of snow. Pinkie looked around her, and saw Applejack and Rarity kissing, taking a secret snapshot without any pony watching, giggling to herself.

Pinkie looked back over to Rainbow Dash, who was beaming with excitement. She tapped her shoulder as she looked at her bubbly-pink pony pal.

"You know Rainbow, I've always wanted to tell you something, but I never got the guts to tell you yet." she told her. Rainbow tilted her head in a pondering fashion.

"What's that Pinkie?" she questioned. Within an instant, Pinkie pulled Rainbow close to her as they locked lips. Rainbow was shocked and confused by this, but then gave in to the kiss, wrapping her hooves around Pinkie's body. They let go of their tender embrace, panting for breath.

"I-I love you too Pinkie" Rainbow said as Pinkie giggled.

"HAAAPY HEARTH'S WARMING EVERYPONY!" Santa Hooves said as his sleigh flew away as Rainbow and Pinkie went back for another tender kiss.

The Intruder

As Rainbow Dash slept soundly in her fluffy bed, she heard a thump coming from her chimney. She immediately woke up, hoping whatever the sound was to be Santa Hooves. She had always believed him to be real even though other believe him to be fake. Every time somepony said that Santa was fake, she always refused.

"Hell naw, he's real! I know it!" She'd say aloud as others either laughed at her or just trot away in confusion. All throughout her life, she believed in Santa Hooves every time and always thought he wasn't just a fantasy told by Twilight every 15 seconds, because that was always annoying and felt like a slap to the puss-puss.

"S-Santa?" she whispered to herself as she quietly trotted towards her door, holding her hoofball in case it's an intruder trying to kill her. She pushed open the door and walked down the hall, searching for the source of the thumping. Meanwhile, a figure was placing lots of presents under Rainbow's tree in different sizes and shapes.

"Rainbow will love all of these, especially my baked goods" the figure whispered as it giggled. Rainbow reached the source as she stared, white-eyed at the figure near her tree. It looked like the colt she wanted to come to her cloud home, and it wasn't Soarin because he's too busy having plotloads of orgasmic fantasies about pies. It was Santa Hooves, the colt she had been believing in ever since she was a little filly. She internally screamed and muttered under her breath.

"Omygoshomygoshohmygosh!" Rainbow muttered as she quietly trotted behind the figure with a crazily-happy smile. "Santa Hooves?" she whispered excitedly.

"Dashie?" the figure responded in a familiar sounding voice. Rainbow Dash knew who that voice belonged to as her smile diminished. "P-Pinkie?" she asked, feeling heartbroken.

"Si Papi" Pinkie responded as she revealed herself to her. She gasped and fell backwards as she bumped into another figure dressed on an elf's outfit.

"Um, this was Pinkie's idea" said the voice, revealing it to be Fluttershy.

"Flutters?! What's going on, am I in a lost.." She stops to click her tongue at Lost, who stood near the front entranceway in a Rudolph outfit, her red muzzle dimly lit up, casting a small glow.

"Going to be lit they said, thought it was going to be a great day they said, internally screaming I am doing at the moment.” Lost thought as she internally Reeee'd to herself.

The Truth

"SOMEPONY TELL ME WHAT IN THE NAME OF TITTY BISCUTS ON A POGO STICK IS GOING ON HERE?!" Rainbow shouted, waiting for an answer, still confused on what is happening at the moment.

"Don't be silly Dashie! We are here to bring the spirit of Hearth's Warming Eve to you, at your house!" Pinkie said happily. Dash was surprised, wanting to call Law And Order on her but secretly doesn't since it'll ruin everything and will be as bad as Logan Paul's acting career.

"Basically, what Pinkie is trying to say is that we want to make you happy, since you believe in Santa Hooves, we decided to Mighty Morphin Power Pony™ up and bring the joy of Hearth's Warming to your home, by dressing up as Santa Hooves, an elf, and Rudolph to make it even better." Fluttershy explained as Rainbow was still confused on what in the name of Menstrual Rage-Flavored Cream Of Soup™ is happening.

"STILL DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME WEARING THIS FUCKING OUTFIT!" shouted Lost from the doorway as she left to go back to Mag. "KOBE!" she shouted as she jumped from a nearby cloud, wearing her emergency jazz parachute.

"I still don't know what is happening, all I hear is murmuring" Rainbow explained in a nutshell as the others stared with questionable expressions. "We want to make you happy, not question you about reality." Pinkie told Rainbow as she lifted her friend up.

"Come on Dashie, look at all of these presents and decorations that we added" Pinkie told her friend as she showed her the decorations they added to her home. Rainbow looked around, admiring the lights that shined as bright as the northern lights and lit up like Luna's Moon. She smiled, but then she realized something.

"Pinkie, this is all nice and all, but, where is the real Santa Hooves?" she asked. Pinkie at first didn't know what her friend was talking about, but then slowly started to know what she questioned as her face went from happiness and confusion, to pure shock and realization.

"Um, Dash, I don't know if you should know the truth" Pinkie said sorrowfully. "What are you talking about Pinkie, I know Santa Hooves is real" Dash responded with a smile. "But, there is one thing about it" Pinkie mentioned, forming tears. "Santa Hooves...is..is" Pinkie sputtered, trying to form words.

"Is what?" Dash asked. "He isn't real" Pinkie responded, sobbing. Rainbow was confused, she knew Santa Hooves was real, just like Santa Paws, she always believed in them, knowing they were real and not legends. But when she found out what Pinkie said to her, she was shocked.

"B..but he's real Pinkie, is he?" Dash questioned, shedding a small tear in the process. Pinkie looked up at her friend, shaking her head as tears streamed down her face. Rainbow stared into nothing, white-eyed and forming tears as she wiped them away, thinking about Applejack's tactic about crying on the inside and got the thought out of her head.