Darkness encroaches. Everything you've worked for is done. Your family is down for bed, the dishes are drying, and the pull grows ever harder.
You can feel it. The will to survive slowly ticking away. Your lantern's candle is low, similar to your own candle as is the wax runs low. You feel...despair. Despair as the one you loved had left you for another.
Your heart beats, it hurts. Your mind thinks, but it lurks in the darker places of reality. The call of Death at your door calls like the lust of a million sirans. It burns at you, tells you to come closer and closer to it.
You step out of your house and look upon your property. Many acres of land brought up from many-many generations. The magic here pulsed and thrived. While your will beings to dive.
You walk along the path to your parent's grave. Their deaths came during Tirek, when you first felt your magic leave you. The darkness your person. How cold and lonely it was. You can remember it like it was breaking a bone.
Your heart beats, regret? No, you won't regret this, you won't have the chance to. You've already decided it.
You inhale and already - Harmony knows how - magic begins to touch you. It cries and cries, you can hear it and only strengthens your decision as hate beings to build inside you. How you hated you were betrayed, how you were simply a second thought for even one second. The one you loved, the one you breed with had just threw you out. Metaphorically though. You owned everything anyways, but the filly that slept was alone now with her grandmother.
You wished it to end, and something inside you was willing to oblige such a thing. Killing yourself.
One thing could end everything that ever could be, but everything you could think of was dread, sadness, and endless suffering. Thinking about them.
Family forgives right, would you be forgiven for leaving her behind. You somehow thought it was better, wasn't it?
How could everything go so well, for so long, for everything to just shatter apart, and left to ruin and age.
Your heart burned, seething anger fueled it all. How death was just the answer was unknown, just like how you couldn't figure out how you could ever be betrayed like that. Years of love, a sweet decade of life that was an endless bliss.
Tears run down your face, aching with forever pain.
The grass begins to gray as you walk along the path you took them to make your vows. Where your hooves were tied with a rose red, silk ribbon. Where life flourished like the profits your land made. What force had hexed this love. This bliss you once knew.
You approach the lake and you sit on the sand.
You stare at the water, mesmerized and thrust back into the past as you see them. They're exited about the baby, you could tell how their eyes shone with joy. The news went well all around when the doctor came by with the results, surprising you both.
Years later you stand next to their divine figure, staring at your filly. How could have everything get better?
But it all got worse. A cold breeze washes over you. You hear the nicker of Hades as he approaches you slowly.
You've accepted it. It had to end here.
"I want to say goodbye...Before I go."
So be it. You can almost hear it. His icy voice.
You stand back up and walk with him. He is tall and broad. Black and gray. His eyes were black with yellow loops that looked at you blankly. He gave no emotion but gave you your chance to experience it freely for the last time.
You can still turn back. Reverse the spell... It feels as though there's a drill digging into your skull. Pins and nails hit you like an unforgiving rain. You know what's happening now, and it wasn't his fault.
It was your fault. Your choice to do this. To kill yourself. How could you? They will hate you, miss you, cry for you...
Was it worth it? How did you find the answer?
You return to the center of the property and stare back at your home. A large house, could've been considered a mansion with the ten bedrooms and six baths. Your entire family lived here, worked here, cry here.
You look at Hades again, his gazed fixed upon your home. I will return in ten minutes. He summoned a pitch black portal and stepped through it. When you saw it vanish, you begin your last minutes.
You cry silently, you can feel the magic just part around you now. Draining your life away almost. Cries of your loved ones, some of them shouts at you. Stop...Stop...Stop! You grip your head and shake it, trying to push away the dread of your loved ones. They stopped you. They wanted you to suffer...
"Yes..." You can feel yourself say it. The answer...
It shoots though you with immense force. It was like a hand that gripped your heart, but instead this was grabbing your magic. You could feel it just squeezing it away like a lemon. You gasp and clutch your heart. It hurts so much and you look down and see your hooves begin to turn into stone, and it was quick at first but it stopped right before your knees. All four looked like stone.
Was it truly it? Had it been done? The only spell an earth pony could cast, Return to Gaia. You had to hurry. Only five minutes left before midnight. Had Hades planned it?
So you gently open each door and saying goodbye. Even if it was only that, at least she could say it and part quietly. As you approach your daughter's room, you could feel the stone moving up your legs again. Your heart skips a beat and speeds up. Your head ducks out when you see your daughter shift your way. With a last look, you leave. With only a minute left.
Hades stands just out the back door. You see him stare blankly at you, but you get the message.
It was time. How you were moving still was a mystery, but you didn't question it more. There was still some of you left.
A black portal opens up again. He gently touches your forehead and you begin to fall. Sleep...
Author's Note
Remember, there's better times. Don't think it's an answer to every problem, because you'll end up making everyone else feel worse than you do now. Talk to someone you trust about your feelings and heart.
There's always another way.
Call 1-800-273-8255
Suicide Prevention Lifeline
