Having nothing better to do, I sleep. Sleep is nice, when it comes that is. In fact, sometimes I wish I could sleep forever, just drifting in an endless abyss of darkness. Nothing to stop my fantasy, and no more pain or confusion. This thought often crosses my mind, yet I never feel the urge to fully commit to it. Mostly because I sleep lightly, I'm paranoid another accident will happen.

I sleep for like, 14 minutes. I'm awoken by my cloud being poofed. How rude, and dangerous.
I was pretty high up, a dangerous fall but I had time to fix my fall.
I could see a rainbow streak going off towards more clouds, I had found the culprit! Oh wait, I was busy falling.

Flying is easier without saddlebags. With that being said, my saddlebag was pinning my wing.
I was spiraling at a moderately fast rate.
Nothing would be fatal, but I will be hurting after this landing.

*CRASH*

"Ouch"

Waking up in a hospital is not good.

Neither is crashing into a building.

I happened to do both.

I'm so good at life.

So.

I crashed into a building, thankfully made of wood, and bumped my noggin. I have a minor concussion. And pain is everywhere on my body. Now this all happened because so rainbow poofed my cloud, which was a very nice cloud, and I spiraled down because my wing was pinned by my saddlebags.

What a wonderful day.

The stallion that dragged me to the hospital stopped by to see how I was doing earlier, unfortunately I was asleep so I could not thank him.

Oh look, he's here!

"How are you doing today, good sir?"

"Good. How about you? You were unconscious when I came by earlier, and you hit that wall pretty hard."

"No need to worry. I am resilient, which unfortunately means I am hard to kill."

"Isn't that a good thing, being hard to kill?"

"Not if you want to die it isn't."

"Oooookaayy.......Well my name is Whole Wheat, nice to meet you, but I've got to go. Bye"

*Hurried clip-clopping away*

"If only I had social skills, I might have made a friend. Oh Wait I do have a friend. It's myself, because I talk with myself so much. Sweet Celestia, I need to stop this nonsense."

I decided to sleep again.

Why?

Well why not?

I haven't been discharged yet.

I woke up, checked out of the hospital, and decided to find another cloud. I was very picky, about where I roost a trait commonly found among Pegasi.

I found one, and I claimed it. I also hid it from the cloud murdering rainbow.

I needed to find a job. That should be easy, except I have no idea where to look. Something low maintenance, because I am kind of lazy. Also something fun, so I don't want to quit immediately. I wonder if there is a library around here? I could help out there, like I did when I was 16. Or maybe somepony needs a janitor. Regardless, I should start looking.

Right after a nap.

I was still tired, and my head hurt.

Boom, 37 minutes and 54 seconds later, I'm back at it again searching for a job at the town hall bulletin board. Right here, The local school house needs a custodian. I rush over to apply, now its time to fill out the resume.

............

...........

..........

Name, and experience. Thats it? Nothing else? Easy.

The mailing address was the difficult part. Oh well, time to wing it. Get it?

Cause I'm a pegasus?

Ha ha ha ha.

I'm not funny.

It took about 2 days until I received a letter from the school. I had been accepted, hooray! I got this nice hat as a uniform, and I start tomorrow after school. Good thing too, because eating pine cones for the last 2 days really sucks and it would be nice to afford real food.

But now I had a whole day to celebrate. I did the only logical thing I could think of, which is sleep.

This job is way too easy. The schoolhouse is literally just one classroom.

I spoke too soon. There is something stuck to the ceiling. Oh sweet Celestia it is moving. WHAT IS THAT! WHAT ARE THEY TEACHING AT THIS SCHOOL! Its just pulsating, menacingly, and I have to scrape it off into my tiny bucket. Its so gross, its oozing something, if this eats me, I'm going to be so mad.
.
.
.
.
.
I hate my life. It got everywhere. EVERYWHERE. All over my coat, and all over the classroom. I have to clean everything. Seriously, who ever is teaching these foals needs to be investigated for either black magic or chemical warfare, both of which are illegal since the end of the 2nd Equestria-Saddle Arabian war. History books still teach of those horrendous weapons.

I hope its not toxic or else somepony might get sick.

Whatever. Not my problem, now I get to go home and shower.

Alright, I'm done showering now its time to make soup.

Step one: Find pot/bowl.

Step two: Gather ingredients. Today I chose pine needles, some daffodils, some berries I found in the woods, and some clover.

Step three: Put ingredients in pot/bowl and heat.

Step four: Hoist your spoon in victory, for you have created soup worthy of feeding the princesses. Now eat it.
.
.
.
I am definitely not a good cook. I also have, most likely, created poison. With that in mind, I have probably made myself immune to poison due to me constantly eating my soup. I shall never host guests and feed them with my cooking, because that soup was the worst thing I have ever created.

I am a failure and have dishonored my family.

But hey, whats new.

I have no choice but to keep living, for dying now would disgrace my deceased family.

I awaken after having cried myself to sleep last night. I have mastered that art.
But now I must find food. I find a bit stomped into the road. So I claim it and go to the market. Apples. I see apples.
As I casually walk to the apple stand, I see the pony selling the apples. He is a large, red, stallion. He is taller than me, and has a blonde mane, as well as a yoke.

Conveniently apples are one bit. My lucky day.

"Can I get an apple?"

"Eeyup."

I toss him a bit that he promptly catches with his hoof.
I take an apple and leave. We truly are masculine stallions only having to speak 7 words.

I inhale the apple. It tastes good. Yum.
Ponies are staring. Inhaling apples is weird, so don't do that in public.
I see a pink blur out of the corner of my eye. surely nothing bad or exciting will come from this.

I continue my pitiful existence and go to work. Nothing crazy happens so I am done quickly.
I go home and I sleep. Until my cloud pops. Randomly, out of nowhere, it just pops. I stay in the bush I fell in and cried myself to sleep. That was my second favorite thing to do.

The first is not included in this story or else it will be rated M for Mature.

Now I sleep, still crying. But they are masculine tears fit for a stallion as masculine as I am.

Author's Note

Wow, that was horrible. I mean, I could change it, but I'm lazy and a piece of crap, so I won't.

Any suggestions, just comment and I might add them.