Author's Note

A stupid crack fic idea I had a long time ago and completely forgot about for years until I rediscovered this empty unpublished chapter sitting under my stories tab.

Basically a blueprint for possibly the most disliked fic I ever write. All the trappings and rampant sexualization of an actual foalcon fic for the people who hate that, with none of the actual payoff on all the teasing for the people who are actually into that. The people who will actually like this are in an extremely narrow band with a very specific kind of fucked up humor. Hopefully there's enough of you out there.

Cravings

"And I gave you the contact information for the hotel, right?"

"Yes, Rarity. Three times in fact."

"Oh, sorry Nonny dear, I'm just a bundle of nerves over this trip. Thank you again for being available so last minute, and for graciously opening up your home."

"It's literally my job, or at least one of them. The foalsitting agency gave me a call and I answered. And there's no way I'd fit in any of the beds at your place, so this is really the only option. But it's all fine, I'm great with kids. Now go enjoy your week in Las Pegasus."

"Yeah, Rarity! I'll be fine!" Sweetie Bell chimed in as she practically pushed her sister toward the door. "Anon is great, and I'm a big pony anyway, so shoo!"

"Alright then, I suppose I better be off if I'm going to get a good seat on the train. Farewell, Sweetie!" Rarity waved a hoof as she left, barely clearing the doorway before Sweetie Belle slammed the door shut with an exasperated sigh of relief.

Anon looked around awkwardly. "So, uhh...right. I guess I should give you the tour. This here is the living room. Both bedrooms and the bathroom are down that hall to the right, and to the left is the kitchen and dining area with a door out to the backyard. You hungry?"

Sweetie Belle fixed him with a half-lidded gaze and a smirk that could only be described as predatory. "Oh, you could certainly say that. I've definitely got an insatiable craving for something." She took a step forward.

"Alright then. How does a peanut butter and jelly sandwich sound?"

"Mmm, sounds delicious. I could certainly swallow down plenty of your nut butter." She licked her lips as she slinked forward. "But I don't think a simple sandwich is going to satisfy me."

"So...two sandwiches?"

Sweetie shook her head, resisting the urge to facehoof. "No. I have a very...particular craving. I need something hot.

"Hot?"

"And thick."

"Thick?"

"Something to really...fill me up down there. Something special you can keep stuffing into me all night long until I'm ready to pass out."

"Hmm...I...oh-OH! I think I see what you're getting at." Anon gave a confident nod.

"You do?" Sweetie responded with a satisfied sultry grin.

"Yep. PASTA!"

Sweetie stood there, blinking in shock as Anon rushed past her to the kitchen and began pulling out various pots, pans, and assorted cooking equipment, setting a large pot of water on the stove to boil. Her mouth was still hanging open when she heard a question float out from the kitchen.

"Okay, critical decision time. Are we doing a red or white sauce?"

Sweetie quickly shook her head clear. "I want you to give me your special hot and sticky white sauce. I want to be pumped so full of it that it feels like I'm about to burst and it starts leaking out of me."

"Hell yeah! Alfredo it is then. Not to brag, but I make some damn good alfredo sauce. Just give me about 20 minutes or so and we should be good to go."

There was a muffled smack of a small hoof impacting a small face as Sweetie Belle grumbled and shuffled over to a chair to pout as she waited for dinner. To her further irritation, it ended up being every bit as delicious as it had been hyped up to be. As it turned out, Anon was quite handy in the kitchen. Now if she could only figure out how to get him handsy in the bedroom. It was while reaching for a third helping of pasta that inspiration struck again. All it took was a little twist and a shift of weight and suddenly she had "accidentally" lost her balance. On her way to the ground, she managed to strike the edge of the pot with her hoof, tipping it over and spilling its contents all over herself.

"Sweetie Belle!" Anon leaped to his feat, voice filled with real concern for a moment. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine, I'm not hurt or anything," she quickly reassured. "But...uggh...just look at me!"

And while he did so, she took this perfect opportunity to provide a better view. Rolling onto her back, she managed to strike a position that perfectly framed her assets. Between her lithe and sinewy legs sat the small bumps of her teats, like little underripe fruits on a vine. And a little further below, the cute pink blossom of her marehood. An untouched jewel that looked tight enough to crush coal into diamonds. Quivering with excitement and youthful energy. And over the whole of her body, a thin glazing of white sauce that she had been careful to smear over as wide an area as possible. She briefly stuck out her tongue to catch a bit that dripped from the end of her nose.

"I'm absolutely filthy. Just a dirty dirty little filly." She gave another stretch and waved a hoof over herself for emphasis.

"Yeah, you're a real mess alright." Anon responded, giving a low whistle at the sight before him.

"So what are you going to do with me?" The same sultry grin crept back onto Sweetie Belle's face.

"Well, that should be obvious. I'm pretty sure there's only one thing to do with a filly this dirty."

She suddenly found herself scooped up into his powerful arms, feeling the heat radiating from his chest as he carried her with long confident strides toward the hallway that led to the bedroom. Her grin widened. It continued to widen right up until she saw him walk straight past the bedroom and into the bathroom where she was promptly and unceremoniously dropped into an empty bathtub before being blasted by a stream of cold water from the shower head.

"AAAAHHH!"

"Oops, sorry about that. I forgot for a second that the water is pretty cold when it first comes out and takes a few seconds to warm up. My bad."

Sweetie said nothing and pouted internally as he proceeded to rinse and scrub her clean. She had at least been somewhat successful in getting his hands on her, even if they were primarily occupied with running shampoo through her mane, which admittedly did feel nice. It seemed this was going to be harder than she thought. No matter. She still had a whole week and she was far from out of tricks.