Spike shags a lot

by Smutty Couplet

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Profanity, Random, Anthology, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike
Length: 1541

Spike bangs a heap of your favourite characters—poetically.

Spike bangs a heap of your favourite characters—poetically.

A bunch of bawdy poems inspired by Vogon and Bargate masterpieces.

Shout-out to Demonic Scot for agreeing to narrate some of these.

Published 2018-01-23 18:20:07 UTC
Last updated 2018-01-25 23:04:36 UTC

The quiet ones are worst

Author's Note

Demonic Scot's demonic reading available here.

The quiet ones are worst

A walk in the woods is a lovely thing
The branches creak and the birdies sing
The brook doth babble and the trees stand tall
And critters frolic in the midst of it all

Fair Fluttershy, a maiden sweet
Inside these woods a secret did keep
Each morning as the tadpoles yawned
She pleasured herself beside their pond

Clumps of slimy frogspawn dripped
Onto her nipples, mane and clit
Against a stoic bole she pressed
Her backside, snout and tongue and chest

And as with carnal lust she moaned
A passing dragon’s ear did twitch
Spikey Wikey’s noble jaw
Dropped like a stone at what he saw
‘Fluttershy... you bitch...’

His dark and horny rod of love
Leapt up into his claws
He stroked his shaft and with a smile
He pumped his pistol for a while
Then strode to where she was

‘Naughty girl.’

‘Spike!’

‘Yes?’

‘I-it’s not what it looks like...’

‘Methinks it looks just fine, you slut.
Don’t cringe. It’s not a crime.
Now let me slip inside your butt.
It’s time to make you mine.’

‘O-okay...’

He roared a mighty dragon roar
As with one brutal shove
He made his latest victim squeal
And take his rod of love

‘Not so hard! I’m going to tear!
Oh, Spike, you’re hurting me!
I’ll take your cock, but please, oh, please
Do me more carefully!’

And so dear Spike began to press
Into her ass with more finesse
She wriggled and she squirmed and writhed
As Spikey’s stick scraped her insides

‘Oh god, Spike, that’s amazing!’

‘All part of the service.’

With time her squealing did annoy
The critters near the scene
Two frogs, a fox, a toad, a bear
Not one could bear her screams

Without delay they hatched a plan
To reinstate the peace
The frogs would belch and blubber
And the others roar and shriek

Upon its execution Spike
Did wrench his love gun free
A wolf-like howl and charging beast
Did force our pair to flee

‘That was close!’

‘Oh, Spike... do me again...’

Thus, our lovers did resume
Their fervent fornication
Spike thanked his lucky stars that Twilight
Didn’t like castration

Quickie

Author's Note

Terrifyingly intimate reading available here.

Quickie

To spy on a pony without getting caught
To play with yourself while others get hot
Were tasks at which Dash was exceptional

Yet Spikey the Great was no fool and he knew
When fucking Zecora and Twilight S. too
Dash had been ogling his testicles

‘Come, now, Rainbow! Own up, if you please!
If it’s sex that you want, then I’ll ball you with ease.
Confess to your sins, then perhaps we shall see
Whether I’m in the mood to present you with D.’

‘OK, Spike. I did it. Happy?’

‘About to be. Bring me your backside.’

The thing about Wonderbolt ass is it’s curvy
It spends all that time in the sky clenching firmly
Dash moaned as Spike gave it a tonguing

‘Oh, Spike, I’ve been waiting for this to transpire.
I’m touching myself every night with desire.’
Dash squeaked as Spike twisted his rod in

‘Delightfully tight, and it’s beautiful too.
I’d be lying if I tried denying it’s true.’

Spike growled and grimaced and he worked his hips
Dash let her eyes roll back

Spike bit his lip as he felt his tip
Spew love into her crack

‘Shit. Is that it?’

‘I think so.’

‘Bloody good all the same. Same time next week, Spike?’

‘Of course.’

Quick Pinkie

Author's Note

Bone-chillingly vehement reading available here.

Quick Pinkie

‘Oh, hey there, Spike!
You took me by surprise!
I didn’t see you coming!’

‘Hey there, Pinkie.
I want a quickie.
You’re about to see me coming.’

Pinkie’s blushing
Spikey’s rushing
To pin his quarry down

He’s teasing over
Pinkie’s hole and
Turning her frown upside down

‘Go on, Spike! Stick me good!’

‘Don’t worry, Ponks. I said I would!’

‘Oh, fuck me hard, you naughty boy!’

‘Here I go, you sexy toy!’

In

Out

In

Out

In

Out

In

Out

Pinkie’s moaning
Spikey’s groaning
Neither wants to stop

Pinkie’s loving
Spikey’s love and
Spikey’s massive cock

‘Don’t stop! Don’t stop! Don’t stop! Don’t stop!’

‘You like my cock, you dirty thot?’

‘I like it, yes! I like it lots!’

‘Then take my cum! Please take the lot!’

In

Out

In

Out

In

Out

In

Out

‘Oh fuck, yes!’

‘Oh fuck...’

‘That was amazing, Spikey!’

‘All... part of... the service... wow...’

Juicy Apple

Applejack had spent her day
Working very hard to pay
Debts, expenses, bills and tax
And thus was desperate to relax

Now, Spikey was a crafty bloke
He knew of ways to tempt the broke
He promised Jackie he’d persuade
The money pone to back away

‘Spike, that’s very kind of you!
I owe you one, you know!
Tell me what it is you want
And I’ll give it a go!’

Naturally, our hero Spike
Had planned this little scene
With a smirk he nudged his dick
‘Oh, Spike! That’s just obscene!’

‘No, not at all, dear buxom mare.
A stiffy ain’t a sin.
Come, let’s take this up the stairs.
Don’t want no barging in.’

Applejack blushed
Spikey grinned
Applejack sighed and quickly gave in

‘Let’s do it, then. Let’s—oh, fuck, Spike! That’s hot!’

Spike pulled his claws from AJ’s minge
Then licked her sticky clit
He smirked and without hesitating
Fondled AJ’s tits

‘And it’s about to get hotter. Up to your room, AJ.’

Spikey Wikey closed his eyes
And dropped onto her bed
He chuckled as his busty mate
Bent down to give him head

Now, Applejack did know her way
Around a fearsome cock
She’d banged a score of stallions
But dragons she had not

Still, she worked Spike’s rod the same
And Spikey’s moans did prove
AJ lived up to her name
And hadn’t lost the moves

‘Oh, fuck, yes. Bring in the tits, please.’

Applejack did as he asked
She pressed her breasts together
And Spikey Wikey’s rod of love
Did fuck her tits unfettered

‘Lube me up, bitch!’

‘Oh, fuck, yeah! Here goes.’

Saliva—what a useful thing!
And Spikey did believe
That with a gob of phlegmy spit
Full pleasure could be achieved

So Applejack hawked up a glob
And dropped it on his tip
It quickly spread onto her breasts
And made him come real quick

His salty shot did smack her eye
Applejack guffawed in triumph
Spikey moaned and cupped his balls
‘Another happy client!’

‘AJ, you do this regularly?’

‘You’re damn right I do! How else am I supposed to pay the man? Thanks again, by the way!’

‘Don’t mention it.’

Spike turned towards the door to leave
But AJ pulled him back
Puzzled, Spikey raised a brow
She fiddled with her flaps

‘Taste me, Spike! Go on!’

You’d think that Spikey’d had enough
He’d fucked her tits
He’d done her mouth
But as you’ve no doubt guessed before
A dragon’s always wanting more

AJ giggled
Spike’s tongue wiggled
AJ clenched her jaw

‘That’s... the spot! Argh!’

‘Delicious!’

‘Fuck!’

‘You dirty whore.’

‘Want to try anything else?’

‘Oh, most definitely. But perhaps not now.’

‘Later, then. I promise I’ll do whatever you ask, Spike! That was hot!’

Just the words he’d come to hear
He fought to stop a leer appear
Thus, when Spikey waved goodbye
He was most truly satisfied

Zecora, then a hunk of Twi pie

Author's Note

Creepily intense reading available here.

Zecora, then a hunk of Twi pie

‘Twas a dark and stormy night indeed
That night on which he plunged
His dark and horny rod of love
Into Zecora’s bum

Outside her modest hut was stood
A jealous pony fuming good
Spikey Wikey’s coming-of-age
Hath caused the skies to spit and rage

For yonder pony’s magic horn
Was flashing at the sight of porn
Involving dearest Spike, her friend
My, oh, my, it did offend!

And then the purple princess blushed
Because her minge her hoof did brush
She rubbed and flicked and poked and pushed
And out in buckets fluid gushed

Spikey’s ear did catch a noise
He cast his gaze aside
And promptly gasped as through the glass
His carer he did spy

His moaning mate fell to the floor
As with his final thrust
He hit her spot and blew his load
And left her in the dust

But Spikey didn’t stay to see
How very well he’d cued
A second course was on its way
His tusk was stiff anew

‘Twilight! Twilight! Thou art here!
Twilight, please don’t choke!
My pipe is lit and smouldering
And anxious to be smoked!’

‘Oh, Spikey, how could I refuse?
I’m eagerly awaiting
That moment when your rigid cock
Stops my masturbating.’

‘I’ll stick you deep, don’t worry, Twi.
I’ll stick you good. Now, don’t be shy.
I’ll stick him where the sun don’t shine.
It’s time for me to make you mine.’

Spike thrust into her juicy hole
He cried out with delight
Twilight’s horn let loose a bolt
And axed the dark for light

Spike blew his load a second time
Twilight screamed aloud
And as they fucked a second time
Dash came inside her cloud