All Fairness and Stuff

by Guy Fieri

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Random, Violence, Slice of Life, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Spike, Comedy
Length: 1232

Twilight Sparkle learns a hard lesson a difficult (and hilarious....) way!

When Twilight Sparkle is desperate to receive admission to the college of her choice, she decides to steal the answers to the pony standardized test. Join the mane six in a wacky adventure full of plot twists and turns.....all while learning a valuable lesson in cheating!

Submission to Aragon's The Comedy (Is Serious Business) Contest!

Published 2018-01-24 15:50:07 UTC
Last updated 2018-01-24 15:50:07 UTC

We Learned Something Unfair

Author's Note

Hello, and welcome to my entry of the The Comedy (Is Serious Business) contest entry! I would like the thank user Dreamlag for beta reading this tale. So, just sit back, relax, and enjoy the story!!!!

We Learned Something Unfair

So it was a pretty normal day at Equestria High School and Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash were in their class and all of a sudden Twilight got really nervous she told her friends.

“Guys idk if I can get into this college I want to get into I don’t remember what it was called tho: But anyways I have the pony standardized test to take tomorrow and I don’t know if I’ll get a good enough score”

“Yeah I feel you I’m too beautiful to go to college lol” Rarity said.

“I want to go to a PARTY SCHOOL WOOOOOOO!!!!” shouted Pinkie Pie.

To which the teacher responded “SHUT THE HELL UP YOU BIGOT!!!!!!!”

Pinkie Pie really didn’t care she kinda just sat there because she just thought of partying at Arizona State.

Then somepony named Crystal was just like “GURLFREEND if you want to get a perfect score on the stupid ass test all you gotta do is steal the answers from the test making factory.”

“Wow that’s a really good idea!” said Twilight Sparkle. Then the bell rang and they ditched school to make a plan.

As they were leaving the school Fluttershy was just like “Guys this is totally wrong you could get in trouble for this.”

Applejack just got really annoyed with her and punched her in the face and walked away because she was strong and independent. Anyways the other 5 (not Fluttershy tho because she’s TOTALLY LAME) went to the strip club to make a plan.

Anyways they looked online and found out that the test making factory was right next door to the strip club and for whatever reason they didn’t notice it even though there’s a big sign that says ‘TEST MAKING FACTORY’ on it. Then Twilight Sparkle took charge.

“Listen up sistas we got some test answers to steal and we all want to do this for one reason or another ammirite?”

Then Rainbow Dash was like “Not really I’m just gonna be rebellious and be a career prisoner and be the POWERHOUSE OF THE CELL LIKE MITOCHONDRIAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!”

Yeah anyways the other ponies got really tired of her so they tricked her into going away by telling her to go rob a bank because they needed money to pay for the strippers and margaritas they ordered.

“Ok now that she’s gone I say we just go for it.” Twilight said. “I’ll go in and steal the answers with Rarity while Applejack and Pinkie Pie keep watch.”

“WOW THAT’S SUCH A GREAT PLAN TWILIGHT YOU REALLY KNOW HOW TO PARTAYYYY WOOOOHOOOOO!!!! GO ARIZONA STATE!!!!” and then the other ponies got really irritated with her so they sent her to Arizona State early because she wouldn’t shut up.

“Oh my gosh why is everypony so annoying smh. I guess it’s just the three of us, right?” asked Twilight.

“Yeah we got you, gurl let’s have some fun!” said Applejack.

“Right on!” said Rarity.

So they walked next door without paying their tab at the strip club and there was a really big gate but they just hopped over it because they’re bad bitches.

Then they saw spike smoking a cigar in front of the entrance and then he was like “Yo, what are you mofos doing in my neck of the woods?”

Then Twilight was like “We’re gonna steal the answers to the standardized test so I can get into a good college and make BANK.”

“Wow ok can I help?” asked Spike.

“Only if you’re not little annoying turds like Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie” said Applejack.

So they walked through the front door to the test answer factory and then there was an old crabby receptionist pony.

“Wait, I know how we can get past the receptionist lady!” said Twilight.

“How?” said Rarity.

“We just get Spike to go over there and seduce her. Then we can sneak past her and go get the answers!”

“HELL NO!” shouted Spike.

Then Applejack just bucked him over on top of the receptionist pony’s desk. He lead out a really big painful sigh and began to seduce her.

“OH YEAH YOU LIKE THAT YOU NAUGHTY PONY!!!!” he said as he seduced the receptionist and then the ponies snuck past the lady and looked for the answers.

Near the end of the hallway there lie a really huge beam of light. When they followed the beam of light there was a manila envelope that said ‘ANSWERS TO PONY STANDARDIZED TEST’ on it so they snached the envelope and ran out the back door and Spike was never seen again.

So then the three ponies went to the photocopier store and then they photocopied the answers. The pony that photocopied them was actually blind so he didn’t know that they were answers and even if he did he wouldn’t say anything because he ain’t no snitch!

“Okay here’s the answers now let’s reconvene tomorrow and KICK THAT TEST’S ASS!!!!” Twilight Sparkle yelled crazily.

Then Rarity and Applejack exchanged an annoyed look as they walked away. Now fast forward to the next morning and Twilight somehow snuck the answers in even tho she doesn’t wear clothes. So yeah anyways she went to the test center with a confident trot.

When she got there and went to the testing room the test proctor which is the same pony that yelled at Pinkie Pie the previous day, was like “OKAY THIS IS THE PONY STANDARDIZED TEST GOOD LUCK YOU OVERACHIEVING BIGOTS”

“I don’t need luck I have the answers you stupid loser HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHH!!!!” Twilight Sparkle laughed really loudly apparently because then the whole rest of the testing center heard her and looked at her like she was disturbed.

Anyways as she finished the test she was about to hand it in and it was a perfect score but all of a sudden a noise was heard by everypony in the room.

“YOYOYO It’s me the pony of fairness and stuff” somepony said.

“What do you want you dead dank?” Twilight yelled.

“You stole the answers to the test and that is totally unfair so you know I need to KILL YOU” the pony of all fairness and stuff said

Then Twilight Sparkle led out a blood-curdling scream as the pony of fairness and stuff chopped off her head with a sword.

Then the test proctor stood up and then was like “LISTEN UP YOU BRATTY STINKY KIDS!!! Unfairness will get you KILLED and you have to learn that if you gain an unfair advantage the pony of unfairness and stuff will END YOU!!!!”

The rest of the ponies taking the test just sat there in horror, thinking about how they will never cheat or be unfair. These kids learned a lesson that NOBODY ELSE could teach them and they all grew up never cheating.

Also Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie didn’t participate in stealing the answers so the pony of unfairness and stuff visited them and rewarded them with all the happiness and fortune they ever wanted and lived very happy lives because they lived their lives fairly.