Chapter One: The Confession
High above the sleeping landscapes of Equestria, the night’s sky looked eerily still and graceful among the tranquil silence. Even with Luna’s moon shining brightly to illuminate the rolling hills below, any ponies who would be soaring through the skies would've been encased in a chillingly serene blanket of darkness. Fortunately, it seemed that two pegasus ponies didn’t mind the starry backdrop as they flew side-by-side, laughing drunkenly to break any somber tones the night brought upon them. Due to the luminescence of the moon, the ponies’ coats of cyan blue and pale gold were practically glowing against the black void around them, which they used to fly more comfortably towards their destination.
Nestled high above any cirrostratus and cirrocumulus clouds, Rainbow Dash’s personal home stood proudly for the two ponies to arrive at. Despite it being made of clouds, the Element of Loyalty’s abode was a stunning accomplishment to pegasus architecture. The blue mare may have been fairly used to coming home to such an awesome place (even with the ever-flowing rainbow waterfalls that came down the sides of her house), but her friend doubted he would ever stop being amazed by the sight of it. This was far from the first time he visited Rainbow’s place, but the golden pony’s eyes always widened whenever he got up close.
Rainbow Dash was the first to land at her front step, although she stumbled a bit due to the multiple shots she and her buddy shared at the bar in Cloudsdale. Nevertheless, she was still able to get her house key from the single false rock she kept by her door. But before she could unlock it, the mare giggled with a shake of her head when she glanced back at the awe-stricken stallion. While she couldn’t blame him for staring at her place with such amazement, she grabbed his attention as soon as she barked, “Yo, Flash! I’ve had stalkers who didn’t stare at my house as much as you!”
Despite catching Dash’s playful tone, Flash Magnus sighed with a roll of his eyes as he stopped gazing at the outside of her house. It’d only been a few months since he came out of Limbo, but his mind still felt like it was in overload from all the advancements and changes around him. Even though the pegasus felt like he was adjusting fairly well (especially in comparison to Starswirl, who was still getting used to certain differences in socially acceptable behavior), he knew there were a lot of times where he got confused or astounded by various things. “My apologies, Rainbow Dash,” he replied in a confident and proper-sounding tone. “It’s just so jarring that ponies can make cloud-homes so large nowadays! Back in my time, even the richest pegasi--”
“--Couldn’t manage to make something this good,” interrupted Dash as she completed what he was going to say. As she opened the door, she gave him a snarky grin and said, “I know, dude. You told me that, like, every time you came here. You’re like a Grandpa who needs to be put in a nursing home.”
Despite how brash the mare’s tone was, Flash Magnus still huffed with a smirk of his own before following her inside. “Joke all you want,” jeered the stallion playfully while closing the door behind him, “but at least I’m not adjusting as slowly as Rockhoof.”
That point made Rainbow stop and shrug apprehensively. “Okay, yeah. You’re definitely right there. Applejack is still mad that he thought indoor plumbing worked that way.”
Flash laughed heartily at that detail, although he wasn’t surprised in the slightest when he heard what that lovable brute did to the Apple Family’s sink. Ever since he and his fellow Pillars were brought back to the real world, Rainbow and her friends have gone above and beyond to ensure they wouldn’t be too lost in modern times. He still had a lot to learn from the millennium of culture, technology, media, and history that went past him and his friends; however, even when he encountered some more… unsettling realizations about how things ran nowadays, he was grateful that someone like Dash was around to make him feel more at ease. Although, with each passing day he spent alongside the mare, his apprehensions began to rise when he started to notice how close she was growing towards him.
Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash kept an enticed smile as she trotted into the lavish living room, happy to see that her tortoise Tank was elsewhere and probably asleep. She and the Pillar may have been fairly loosened up from their pub crawl, but Dash still felt plenty of butterflies in her stomach from what might come from tonight. She had already talked with a couple of her friends about her plans, and most of them were on board with her doing it. The only pony who tried to speak against it was Twilight, but she couldn’t exactly give a good reason as to why her friend shouldn’t go through with it. Of course, even if that bookworm did have a reason lined up, Rainbow probably wouldn’t have been too deterred.
So instead of dwelling about any hypotheticals, the mare took a breath before smiling back at Flash. “Anyway, I… was curious if you wanna stay the night? I mean, it’s probably not a good idea to fly alone at night while drunk.”
“Ummmm…” Flash sighed and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. Despite knowing that Rainbow was indeed right, the stallion wasn’t sure if spending the night was the wisest choice for them. He may have known that Equestrian culture was much different nowadays than back in his time, and ponies most likely wouldn’t care if a soldier (especially a long-retired one) stayed overnight in an unmarried mare’s home. However, as soon as details from his past crawled back into his mind, his muzzle skewed in apprehension of what might come if he stayed. “Well, I… I really don’t want to impose, Rainbow.”
“Oh, come on!” griped Dash with a strong roll of her eyes. “If it was any trouble, I wouldn’t be suggesting it, you big dork!”
That made the golden pegasus exhale sharply and shoot a warning glance back at her. “I did mention what the word ‘dork’ meant in my time, right?”
“Oh right, sorry,” replied Rainbow with an apologetic wave of her hoof. Alas, she still stayed persistent as she added, “But seriously Flash, I really don’t want you to get hurt or to crash because I wasn’t there. It’s just for one night, okay? I promise, it won’t be an issue at all.”
Flash’s lips pursed tightly for a split-second, unsure whether or not that promise could be kept by either of them. But despite his apprehensions, he understood Rainbow enough to know she wasn’t going to relent until he complied. Plus, given how buzzed he still felt, he wasn’t completely confident about flying back to his humble home without any trouble. So instead of disappointing his good friend, Magnus closed his eyes and sighed in reluctant acceptance. “Al… Alright, fine.”
“Great!” chirped Rainbow with a beaming smile on her face. She then rushed off towards a nearby closet, barely noticing the strong blush growing along her cheeks as she grabbed a couple spare blankets. “This is just for later, so you don’t have to look around for them. But if you want, we can just, like…” During that pause, her cheeks turned a little redder before glancing back at Flash with a shrug. “You know… chat and stuff?”
Magnus exhaled in worry while keep his expression unwary for Dash’s sake. He may have been gone from Equestria for over a millennium, but he could still tell clear as day that the mare was showing obvious interest in him. If they were both in another time, or if things had gone... differently for himself, he probably wouldn’t have been opposed to that kind of gesture from someone as special as her. However, despite how quickly his heart began to race, it also sank heavier in his chest at the realization of how this night might conclude.
Fortunately, the stallion was able to keep any of his anxieties from being shown in his expression. But while Flash tried to get his thoughts together, hopeful that he could avert things towards a different route, Rainbow was already showing some tenacity as she trotted back up to him with a hopeful smile. “If you want, I could make some coffee for us? I know it’s late, but it might help us sober up a bit.”
“Ummm… s-sure,” muttered Magnus before quickly walking away towards the couch. The soldier winced when he was sure she couldn’t see his face, mostly since he felt like an idiot for agreeing to a drink he honestly despised. Meanwhile, Dash stood in slight confusion for a moment when she saw how quickly he tried to avoid her. She wanted to question what was wrong, but she figured it was best to just hold her tongue for now. So instead, she merely sighed with a shrug and went to the kitchen.
Come on Flash, think! While he sat on the couch in the living room, Magnus’ muzzle was clenched shut as tightly as his eyes while he head was hunkered down. While he heard the coffee-maker brewing nearby, the pegasus’ struggled to keep himself civil while processing his words internally. You… you know you can’t accept her advances. Even if you like her, you… you know it wouldn’t work. She’s a great mare, but… but you’re a soldier. No matter what… that’s all you can be to her…
Flash’s heart grew heavier as he sighed painfully from that reminder, never having felt this much dread from that decision so long ago. Even though he didn’t regret his choice back when he was still on active duty, the realization of how drastically things have changed since then made him see just how bad it really was. It may have not been as bad as other issues from the past that have been rectified nowadays, but this wasn’t something that could be undone. And after meeting Rainbow Dash, a mare he respected and admired so much, Magnus wished more than anything that it could’ve been.
I know how bad this is, he thought to himself while trying to control his breathing, just like back in drill practice. But… you knew what you were getting into when you signed up. That decision may not be the protocol now, but… she’ll understand, Magnus. You’re just a soldier… And that’s all you need to be…
By the time Flash was able to get himself recomposed, Rainbow came back into the living room with two mugs of steaming coffee held within her wings. She carefully placed them on the glass coffee table to cool down, and carried a warm smile as she sat next to Flash innocently. “You okay, old-timer?” she asked jokingly with a smirk.
Flash sighed and smiled back at her lightly, having grown use to those teasing jabs regarding their technical age difference (despite being approximately the same age biologically). He was still worried in regards to the mare’s intentions, but he nodded his head in assurance and replied, “Yeah, I’m alright. I’m just… a little tense, that’s all.”
Rainbow scoffed and rolled her eyes, as if she was able to determine the stallion’s reason for any tension. “Oh, stop freaking out, dude! Ponies don’t care if a stallion spends the night with a mare. It’s not like either of us are gonna get burned at the stake for it!”
“I know that,” replied Flash with an insistent stare back at her, “and it’s not like it was like that back in my time either. I just…”
Even though he knew how hard it’d be to tell her most of what was on his mind, he knew he couldn’t just stop after beginning that last sentence. As he looked away from Dash, Magnus sighed and finished his comment half-heartedly. “I... just have a lot on my mind, that’s all…”
Rainbow pouted a little in sympathy, but her heart started to race at the idea of what to do next. Even though she wasn’t sure if it would work, especially with somepony who was from a completely different time period and might have different social cues, the mare was determined to at least try while the time felt right. So while Flash was lurched forward on the couch, the cyan pegasus leaned in from behind him slowly. “Well… believe me Magnus, I know what that’s like…”
Before Flash could try to scoff or say anything in response, he gasped the instant he felt Rainbow’s hooves rest between his shoulders and neck. The mare immediately tried to shush him as soon as she felt his body tense up from her touch. “Hey, it’s alright,” she said in a calming voice, barely giving him much time to adjust as she began to rub his muscles tenderly. “Trust me, Fluttershy does this with me all the time. It’s meant to relax you and stuff…”
Flash wasn’t sure if he could trust Dash’s words, but he could barely think while feeling the mare’s soft hooves pressing into his flesh to make his spine tingle. He had to keep his eyes closed as he shuddered and tried to speak. “Y-You really don’t have to do that, Rainbow…” Unfortunately, with each comforting squeeze and rub he felt from Rainbow’s hooves, the more his composure began to buckle as he began to blush and breathe heavily. “I… I really just… nnnnnghhhh… Oh, wow, that feels good…”
Rainbow grinned wide after hearing that, happy that Rarity taught her those massage techniques so well; and since she was one of the friends who coaxed her into doing this, the pegasus made a mental note to buy her a fruit basket as a thank-you gift. Of course, she kept herself from growing too excited while massaging her idol, not wanting to spook him if she ended up taking things too fast. She could feel how tense Magnus’ muscles were remaining, but she could also tell that her efforts weren’t going to waste from how smooth his breathing became.
“Mmmm… It’s okay, Flash,” cooed the mare sweetly, waiting until he let out a faint groan in response before moving her head in a little closer behind him. “Just breathe slowly, alright? You really shouldn’t be so stressed...”
Magnus wanted to mutter something in opposition to that remark, but Dash’s surprisingly good rubbing was enough to make him bite the inside of his cheek and comply. As the soldier’s breathing became more tranquil, and the muscles around his shoulders began to relax beneath Rainbow’s hooves, the cyan pegasus smiled warmly behind him. “Man… you have no idea how awesome this is,” she said softly while trying not to get too shaky in elation. “I mean… I never would’ve thought in a thousand moons that I’d actually be doing this with somepony like you...”
“Y… Yeah…” Magnus began to feel the mare’s hot breath brushing against the fur on his back, but he couldn’t respond much while struggling not to give in to Rainbow’s sweet embrace. He knew that it wasn’t right to let this continue, especially while knowing why it shouldn’t, but he could only sigh in relaxation and say back to her, “I… I wouldn’t have pictured this either…”
Even though she was trying to make the Pillar relaxed, Dash couldn’t resist huffing with a smirk before asking teasingly, “Oh, really? You’re telling me you never had any mares back in your time to do this with?~”
Rainbow’s smirk faltered as soon as she felt Flash’s muscles tense up in an instant. Meanwhile, the stallion’s muzzle wrinkled strongly as he cringed at that question. He knew that Rainbow wasn’t trying to hit any nerves, but it was impossible not to react poorly to it. When Dash’s hooves pulled away from his shoulders worriedly, Magnus slumped further forward and groaned while covering his face with his hooves.
The cyan pony blinked a couple times while carrying a worried look on her face. After spending so much time with Flash, she didn’t think a question like that would trigger him so badly. She was afraid to ask, but she felt compelled to make sure it wasn’t something else. “Ummm… Did… Did I say something wrong?”
“No, no,” he quickly responded in assurance with a wave of his hoof. However, his other hoof remained over his eyes as he sat in a hunched and upset state. He knew that Rainbow was only trying to help, but that only made his anxieties grow even more evident. He didn’t want to push her away, but he knew he couldn’t have her the way she wanted him. After taking a breath to keep from growing too emotional, the stallion put down both of his hooves and said, “It’s just, ummm… Well, no. There… There were never any mares in my life… A-After I became a soldier…”
Dash’s ears dropped down when she heard how solemnly he said that last sentence. She may have not known much about military protocol back in Magnus’ time, but she could understand how stressful that lifestyle could be from being a Wonderbolt. Of course, she refrained from trying to say anything like that at the risk of being insulting. So instead, the pegasus leaned in and wrapped her hooves around his torso, ignoring how much he tensed up from her chest resting against his back. “Hey, it’s alright, Flash,” she said in a calm and comforting voice during her hug. “It’s not a big deal. It’s not like it’ll never happen…”
The instant she said that, Flash felt like he was going to cry. This mare was being so kind and loving towards him, but he knew how poorly she’d react if he were to try and reciprocate that feeling. His heart was pounding badly in need, but he couldn’t think past that unsettling truth that kept him from giving in. His eyes closed tightly as he struggled not to tear up, never feeling so self-loathing about his past decisions than he did at that moment.
Unfortunately, all those feelings came to a breaking point when Magnus felt Rainbow’s lips press against the side of his neck.
“N-N-NO!!!” Magnus pulled her off of him and bolted off the couch in an instant. His face turned as red as a tomato, and he began to pant in a panicked rate while holding the spot of his neck Rainbow kissed. He turned away from the mare while wide-eyed, and instinctively pulled his red tail between his legs. While Rainbow Dash was left frozen on the couch, her expression bordering between confusion and pained rejection, the stallion winced before he could try to speak shakily, “R… Rainbow, I… I really… I can’t...”
Even though she couldn’t see his face, Rainbow could tell how much he didn’t want to say that to her. Regardless, the mare still felt her heart pushing down into her stomach in response to that kind of rejection. Given their technical age difference, she wanted to say she understood why the stallion would try to dismiss her advance. However, she still took a breath while her eyes were closed before saying feebly, “I… I’m sorry, Magnus. I… I didn’t want to go too strong, okay? I just…”
Hearing how hurt Dash’s voice sounded, Flash felt absolutely horrible for making her feel that way. Despite knowing what the consequences could be if he acted differently, the last thing he wanted to do was have her feel bad for something she didn’t understand. After taking a deep breath, he spoke up before Rainbow could finish her statement. “You… You didn’t do anything wrong. It's... It’s not like I don’t get it. But… But you need to understand--”
“Yeah, I know!” blurted Dash as she got up from the couch, using her determination to help mask the heartbreak she was afraid of experiencing if he kept staying distant. Before he could finish, Rainbow continued in a heartfelt tone, “I know we’re from different time periods! And… And I know there’s probably a TON of differences between us which could make things tough! But I don’t care, Flash! I… I’ve never met a stallion like you before…”
Magnus had to exhale sharply with his eyes clenched shut while turned away from her. “Yeah, I’m sure you haven’t, Rainbow,” he muttered remorsefully, not wanting to reveal how right she probably was.
“Let me finish!” stated Dash before she could get too angry from his dejection. She had to take a breath before continuing in a less frustrated voice. “Flash, I… I really like you, alright? I know it’s weird, and there’ll probably be some awkwardness between us at first, but… but I really do like you! You’re so sweet, and funny, and respectful of me. And you’re one of the only flyers who can actually keep up with me! Whenever we go out, I just... “
The mare had to pause for a moment to collect her breath, not wanting to get teary-eyed during her confession. It may have been easy to say in her head, but admitting all of this out-loud (especially when he tried to turn her down at first) made each word come out harder than the last. “I… I always felt like it was just us, you know? Like… even when we were with everypony else, I… I never felt as special as I did when I’m with you. And… you… y-you really… you mean a lot to me…”
Flash was afraid to turn around and face her, but he knew he couldn’t cower away when he heard that first sniffle. After all she did for him since the Pillars were released, it was only fair to face her during this kind of heartbreak. He kept his muzzle tightly shut when he looked back at the mare, and tried to ignore the twisting in his gut when he saw how close Rainbow was to crying. She stayed silent as she stared at him pleadingly, hopeful that her admission would be enough to make him forget any differences that could keep them apart.
Flash’s heart was racing in need to give in to his desires, and to sweep the mare off her hooves like she deserved. Unfortunately, the stallion knew that sort of life would be impossible for him nowadays. As he closed his eyes and took a breath, he had to keep his eyes from beading up as he said truthfully, “You… you mean a lot to me too, Rainbow… I don’t want you to think I don’t…”
Before Rainbow’s expression could get the chance to brighten up, Magnus’ eyes clenched shut as he added in a painfully difficult creak, “But… I really can’t, Rainbow! I wish I could, but… but I just can’t…”
Dash could only stare at him with a heartbroken look on her face, with tears just at the brink of streaming down her cheeks. However, the way Flash said that made her shake her head and ask confusedly, “W… Why not, Flash? Like… What could possibly make you say that you can’t?”
Magnus knew it shouldn’t be this hard to explain the basic truth, but he also knew it would just raise many more questions for the mare he cared about. As his tail remained firmly between his legs, he sighed remorsefully and said in a defeated voice, “I… I’m a soldier, Rainbow. Th… That’s all I am…”
Of all the things the stallion could’ve said, that answer just made Dash even more confused than before. She didn’t want to cry, but her growing frustration caused the floodgates to finally start breaking. She could feel the tears rolling down her face, but she could barely care as she stared at Magnus with a befuddled and upset scowl. “Wh… What the buck do you mean you’re just a soldier?! LOTS of ponies are soldiers, Flash! Shining Armor is head of the Royal Bucking Guard, and he has a wife AND a daughter! How could use THAT as an excuse?!”
“It’s different for me!” shouted Flash as his voice turned more emotional. “I… I’m not like the soldiers that are around NOW, Rainbow! You… You don’t know what I’ve had to do to join the Cloudsdale Royal Legion in my time! I…” He tried to look Rainbow in the eyes as he spoke, but seeing her so upset broke his heart too much to keep his sights on her. As he looked down to the floor between them, he began to tear up as well. “I… I’ve had to sacrifice a lot, Dash… Far more than any soldier now would even think of.”
“Are… Are you serious?” asked Rainbow in a flat and chilling tone of voice. Her eyes may have been reddened by her tears, but she managed to stop crying as her expression turned from pained to aggravated. “What kind of answer is that?! Why don’t you just tell me the truth, dude!? Why won’t you just turn me down normally if that’s what you want!?”
“I don’t WANT to turn you down!” yelled Magnus as he looked back up at her pleadingly. “I… I swear to Celestia I don’t! I really do like you, Dash, I swear! But… But I just…”
After a long and stuttering pause, Rainbow grew madder as her eyes narrowed on him. “You just WHAT?! What’s so bucking important, Flash!? If you want to be with me, then why can’t you say yes!? What could be SO bucking big that you’d let this slip away?!”
Now it was Flash who was looking more fretful than Rainbow. “Rainbow, you would NOT want to be with me if you knew the truth!”
“Well, it’s kinda hard to know that for sure when you won’t tell me what it is!!”
“It’s personal, Dash!!”
“What, being a soldier!?! THAT’S what’s too personal to you?!”
“You wouldn’t understand!”
“BUCKING TRY ME!!”
Flash Magnus had to turn away from the mare, unable to keep himself faced against her when she was getting so hostile. As the golden pony breathed out sharply and wiped the tears from his fur, Rainbow did the same while he wasn’t looking. She wanted to keep an open mind and assume Magnus had a fair reason for his behavior, but her nerves were starting to come to an end with him. Alas, while the two paused in a brief bout of silence, Dash was the first to close her eyes and take a calming breath.
“O… Okay…” The cyan pegasus let out a smooth exhale before reopening her eyes and saying calmly, “Flash, I… Okay, I don’t know what you went through back then, alright? And… And I’m sure it was a big thing, but… But do you really think it’s fair to just give vague answers like that and not tell me the truth?”
Flash winced with his muzzle trembling, hating that Dash was putting him on the spot. But despite knowing she was ultimately right, he felt like his Pillar of Bravery was being put to the test with somepony he cared so strongly about. He didn’t want to push her away, but he was mortified about how she would react if he gave in.
Nevertheless, Rainbow walked up closer to him while his backside was facing her. “Flash, I… Whatever it is you did that makes you think you’re not good enough for me, I… I’d rather know than just be flaked aside, you know? I… I swear on my Element, I will not judge you. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
Even though that kind of reassurance was a little comforting, that last part made him glance back at Rainbow with a confused raise of his brow.
“Uhhh… It’s a modern Equestria thing,” replied Dash with a shrug, blushing a little when she realized how odd that might’ve sounded to somepony from a different era. “But… Seriously though, I… I do want to be with you, Flash. And… And if you want to be with me, I want to know why you don't think we can…”
Magnus slowly turned away from Rainbow, unsure how to respond to such a caring and honest statement. Even though he did want to be with her, his apprehensions made it clear that it was much easier said than done. However, the stallion also knew he couldn’t just hide the truth from her like some coward. After all she did for him, she deserved more than a cold shoulder. He was sure she would freak out, or even make fun of him for something he had to do in his past, but his conscience finally aligned with his heart as he sighed in defeat.
“O… okay…”
After taking a deep breath, Flash turned around to face Rainbow Dash again. However, instead of just telling her what the truth was, he decided to go a different route. The stallion walked past Dash towards a nearby lamp, and began to unscrew the top of the shade so he could move it.
“Ummm… what are you doing?” asked Rainbow with a puzzled expression on her face.
“Well, uhhh… it’s hard for me to just say, alright?” he said while adjusting the shade. When he was able to get it at a proper angle, shooting a light straight onto his body, he sighed reluctantly before screwing the top part in place to make it stay in that pose. “Plus, I… I’m pretty sure if I just told you, you’d want to see it anyway, so... I figure I might as well…”
Rainbow was growing more befuddled by the second, despite wanting to be thankful that he was actually going to explain himself. Meanwhile, Flash stepped forward so that his backside was illuminated by the skewed lamp, and he sighed painfully before looking back at her. “Just… try to understand this was something that had to be done in my time, alright? I wouldn’t have been able to join the Royal Forces otherwise.”
Rainbow blinked a couple times confusedly, clearly unsure what Flash was about to show her. As the stallion faced back ahead, he took a breath before adding hesitantly, “Also, umm… Let me just say in advance that I’m really sorry for doing this.”
“Sorry for doing--WHOA!!!” Halfway through her question, Rainbow instantly gasped and turned away when she saw Magnus bend down on his front-legs, and lifted up one of his hind-legs in front of her. As she shielded her heavily blushed face from the sight, her mouth struggled not to drop at the realization that the stallion was trying to show her what was between his legs. Meanwhile, Flash winced embarrassingly while the lamp shone directly on his exposed privates.
“Okay, ummmm… Flash, what the BUCK is this about?!”
“You wanted to know why I can’t be with you, right?!” asked Flash in a shameful tone. As he closed his eyes and tried not to cringe, he kept his leg lifted while waiting for Rainbow to overcome her skittishness. “Just… Just look for yourself…”
It took Dash a long moment of repetitive blinking before she complied, and slowly lowered her hoof from her face. However, she still looked reluctant about actually staring at Flash in such an exposing and obscene way. “Okay, ummm… let me just say that this is the weirdest thing to happen in my house this year.”
Even though her face was deeply blushed in embarrassment, she eventually looked directly to where the lamp was shining, getting a proper view at what Flash had between his legs. “Well, ummm… I really don’t see why you ha--”
Magnus winced painfully when he heard her statement cut off so abruptly. After a small pause, he kept his eyes closed while hearing her mutter in confusion, “... what the…”
The stallion couldn’t bear to look, but he could imagine her look of confusion as he felt her leaning in closer. Meanwhile, Rainbow narrowed her eyes as she realized something was off, like a painting with some notable error that could easily be missed in a careless glance. However, as she got a closer look, it didn’t take long for her to realize what was different. Right in the middle of Flash Magnus’ smooth, hairless portion of flesh, a thick and gnarly-looking scar took the place of a very distinct part that should’ve been there.
Or more specifically, two very distinct parts.
Flash sighed in utter shame the instant he heard Rainbow gasp in surprise, and pulled herself back from between the pony’s legs. As soon as she did, Magnus quickly got himself back up and pushed the lamp shade back in it’s normal place. He couldn’t bare the idea of seeing her expression in that moment, so he kept his head hung low while turned away from her. Meanwhile, his red tail stayed firmly between his hind-legs to conceal his regretful alteration.
“Yeah,” he muttered in a low and weak voice, hating that she had to understand in such a shocking way. Alas, he knew it was better than having her learn in the middle of any relationship he’d be stupid enough to try. He may have done it for the sake of his nation, but knowing how differently military protocol was now left him feeling like a hollow shell as he said weakly:
“I… I’m a gelding.”
Chapter Two: Rainbow's Response
As the Pillar stood in silent shame after his admission, Rainbow looked absolutely bug-eyed in response to learning such a thing. Even though it certainly wasn’t what she expected, she could definitely understand why Magnus was so hesitant about letting her know the truth. It also may have explained why Twilight Sparkle was defensive about her wanting to ask him out, since she probably would’ve known about that kind of taboo practice from history books. But regardless, Dash still had to blink a few times to process what she just saw and heard.
“Ummmm… okay then,” replied the mare blankly, seemingly unsure what else she could say in that awkward moment. “Well… that certainly wasn’t mentioned in Wonderbolts history exams…”
Flash Magnus sighed painfully while keeping his gaze away from her, too loathsome about himself to even imagine how she may have looked. “Yeah, exactly,” he growled bitterly. “That’s… That’s why we can’t be together, Rainbow Dash. As much as it pains me to say that, it… it was the decision I made back when I first became a member of the Cloudsdale Royal Legion. Every stallion had to be gelded, no exceptions. It was the standard means to prove we were willing to sacrifice ourselves to the Royal Crown. And… and also to ensure we wouldn’t be swayed by temptation…”
Rainbow nodded silently with a bit lip, still feeling a little jarred that such a hardcore practice was more than just an urban legend. While she could understand why that may have been a thing over a thousand years ago, she could also sympathize with Flash feeling so much regret in an environment without it. Despite knowing how important that may have been in his own era, even she couldn’t help cringing at how much his situation sucked. The mare wanted to be supportive, but she was frozen in surprise long enough to hear Magnus continue.
“So you see,” he said with a deeply saddened tone of voice, “I… I wasn’t lying when I said I was just a soldier, Rainbow. Despite how we may feel for each other, I… I can never be the stallion you’d want. I… I’m barely a stallion at all…”
As the Pillar closed his eyes to keep from crying, he wasn’t able to see just how much Dash’s brows rose in response to that statement. Flash breathed out in painful regret before adding, “I… I can’t make you happy the way a proper stallion should. I can’t… be able to give you a family. Even if you wanted to adopt, I… I wouldn’t be able to satisfy you the way other stallions can. In the end, I’m… I’m not the stallion for you, Rainbow Dash…”
Magnus couldn’t bear to look behind him to see Dash’s expression, but he was sure she was just as saddened and understanding of the situation as he was. Even though he cared so deeply about her, he breathed out in solemn acceptance as he said with a tear streaming down his face. “I’m... n-not a stallion.... I’m just a soldier… And… That’s all I’ll ever be…”
A long moment of silence passed between the two while Flash kept his head hung low, waiting dreadfully for the mare’s response. Whether it was to hear her say she understood, or for her to start crying, the stallion already played out every possible scenario in his head as to how that admission would go badly for both of them. Even though he was the Pillar of Bravery, even he couldn’t fathom facing Rainbow after she learned such an emasculating fact about him. So instead, he just kept his head away and waited to hear for her response.
“... Mmmph… Gnnnnghhhhh…
“BbbbbbbbBBBWAAAAAAAAA, HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAA!!!”
The instant he heard Rainbow Dash start to laugh, Flash Magnus’ head pulled right up in absolute shock. When he turned around to face the mare, his mouth hung open in confoundment when he saw Rainbow kneeling down on the floor cracking up. With the way her legs were buckled over from her overzealous laughter, it looked like she just attended the live screening of some really cheesy B-Movie. Meanwhile, Flash wasn’t sure whether to feel confused, insulted, betrayed, or all three at the same time.
“Hol… Holy crap, dude! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” Rainbow fell onto her rump as she sat and kept laughing, unable to stay still after she heard what Flash said about himself. But before the stallion could start going ballistic on her, she struggled to keep a hoof up and control her breathing. “Wa… Wai… Wait a second! I… I sw… I swear I’m not laughing at you… I swear…”
As he wiped his earlier tears from his face, Magnus gawked angrily at the mare and shouted, “Well, what the heck WERE you laughing at, huh?! This is serious!”
“It… It’s not… It’s NOT about your situation, alright?! I… I would never laugh about that…” As she closed her eyes, Dash took a couple final breaths before feeling her giggling bouts settle down. “Whoooooo!! I… I needed that…”
After getting herself back in control, she kept a reassuring smile on her face when she looked up at Flash’s pissed-off expression. “I swear, it’s not about your whole… gelding situation, okay? That’s not what I found funny…”
Before the stallion could scoff or try to tell her off, Rainbow pulled herself back on her hooves while saying, “Buuuut… Holy crap was that speech a whole load of manure! I mean, seriously, dude?! Do you really feel that way about yourself?!”
Even though he was still mad as Tartarus, that statement made Magnus pause and stare at Dash confusedly. “Wh… Why not?! I’m a gelding, Rainbow!”
“So what?!”
Of all the things he expected Rainbow to say in response to learning that fact about him, the phrase ‘So what?’ was definitely not one he could’ve predicted. While the stallion stood in a befuddled state, Rainbow huffed before rolling her eyes at him. “Like… Okay, I totally get why you may think that’s a problem between us. I mean… there probably are a lot of mares who would see the whole ‘No Balls’ thing as a deal-breaker. And… yeah, it’s definitely not what I would’ve expected you to tell me.”
Flash sighed bitterly and nodded with a scowl on his face. However, Rainbow was quick to add in a strongly-worded tone while pointing at him, “BUT! If you think for a second that being gelded makes you ANY less of a stallion, then you seriously need your head examined!”
Magnus had to blink a couple times while staring at the cyan mare in shock. Even though he wanted to be glad that Rainbow wasn’t upset or judgemental about his condition, he was completely confused as to why she was acting so fine about it. After taking a moment to get his thoughts straight, he couldn’t help replying in shock, “Wait, you… you’re okay with this?!”
Rainbow sighed before giving the stallion an approving nod. “Well, I’m okay with that more than your feelings about it.” Before he could get a chance to retort to that comment, Rainbow motioned him over to the couch as she sat down. “Come on, sit down and have some coffee.”
Due to low long their discussion lasted, both of their cups of coffee were at the perfect temperature for drinking now. While Flash Magnus sat down and merely held his cup, not being able to stomach that bean juice without a buttload of sugar, Rainbow took a sip from her own before letting out a calming breath. “Alright, I… I feel like I should say a few things before we get to talking…”
After she placed her cup on the coffee table (and Flash did the same without even tasting his), Dash looked back at the stallion with a warm smile and held onto one of his hooves. “Okay, so… First thing’s first, let me just say that I’m really sorry for that fight we had earlier. I know we were both emotional about things, but… I completely understand why you didn’t want to tell me about that. Like I said, I don’t blame you for thinking I’d freak out. If the tables were switched, I’d probably feel the same.”
Magnus had to blink a couple times in surprise, not expecting Dash to begin their talk with such a polite and respectful statement. After taking a few seconds to let that apology sink in, the pony shrugged meagerly before saying, “Well, ummm… thank you for telling me that. And I… I’m really sorry about how things went too.”
“Don’t be. You didn’t do anything wrong, dude.” After giving him a reassuring smirk, Dash kept holding his hoof as she continued more sternly. “Now, what you are doing wrong is thinking all that crap about yourself! I mean, I guess I can understand why a guy would feel that way, but you’re not any less of a stallion for not having any berries under your twig, okay? Gelding or not, you still kicked a lot of butt when we stopped that Shadow thing together. And the fact that you did it for the sake of serving Equestria shows you’re a noble guy too.”
Magnus sighed and avoided staring back at her. “Well, thank you for that,” he admitted in a meek and honest voice. “It’s good to know you can understand it wasn’t so taboo back in my time.”
“Well, yeah,” she said while shrugging in reluctant acceptance. “Plus, you’re… you’re not wrong about what you said earlier. There probably aren’t a lot of stallions nowadays who would agree to do something like that to be a soldier. Heck, I bet even Shining Armor would consider you a badass for going through with that!”
That comment made the stallion chuckle in appreciation while rubbing the back of his mane. Even though he was happy to hear Dash speaking so strongly about him, Flash still felt hesitant about believing a lot of it. As his eyes stayed away from hers, he sighed and replied honestly, “Well, I… I wouldn’t say I’m not a good hero for Equestria, alright? B-But… But that doesn’t change how pointless I’d be as a coltfriend.”
With the way Rainbow was gawking at him with narrowed eyes, it would’ve been assumed that Magnus just said something unbelievably stupid. After huffing with an annoyed scowl, the mare glared at him and asked, “Dude, are you serious right now? What would make you think your… situation would keep you from having a special somepony?”
Flash just stared back at her like she asked what two plus two equaled. “Ummm… hello?! I can’t give you any kids! We wouldn’t be able to have sex! Why would you want to be with a stallion who… who doesn’t have those?!”
Flash let go of Rainbow’s hoof and motioned down to his crotch, emphasizing what he was too embarrassed to say properly out loud. Regardless of how frazzled the stallion was acting, Rainbow groaned and shook her head in disbelief. “Well… Technically speaking Magnus, it’s not like you’d be the first stallion I went out with who had a situation like that…”
Her muzzle wrinkled a little in slight embarrassment, looking surprised she admitted that so casually to someone she wanted to be her coltfriend. Meanwhile, Flash blinked a couple times while staring back at her in surprise. “R… Really?”
“Well, he… he wasn’t a gelding,” she added in clarification as she shrugged her head. “He was transgender. We met back in college, and he was still transitioning from mare to stallion. Of course, you never would’ve guessed since he had like, a really good hormone treatment.”
Due to being from a complete different era, Flash needed a second to realize what Rainbow was referring to. Even though he knew about trans-ponies a while back from Twilight’s lessons, Magnus still looked like he was trying not to become too confused on the matter. He certainly wasn't opposed to it at all, but it was still a new idea for him to process. However, he was still able to nod respectfully while Dash kept speaking.
“Well, we met back when he was a senior, and I was struggling as a sophomore. I actually knew from day one that he was trans, and it didn’t faze me at all! He was a really great guy, and we worked really well together. And since he was still in the transition stage, he hadn’t had any surgery yet, so…”
Flash may have been fairly uninformed on the subject, but he understood enough to nod his head. “Uhhh… yeah, I get it. So… he didn’t have any of that yet, right?”
“Exactly,” stated Dash with a confirming nod. “But despite that, I never saw him as any less of a man than any other stallion! He was buff, he was masculine, and no anatomy differences would’ve changed that to me. We’ve even, ummm… we’ve done stuff…” Even though she was a little more embarrassed to admit that, she knew it was an important detail to mention in regards to Flash’s situation. “So yeah, it’s not impossible for a stallion to have sex without the standard equipment! There have been a LOT of advancements in sex since you went into limbo, so I doubt you’d have any trouble either.”
Magnus sat in temporary silence as he processed all that information, seeing just how strongly Rainbow still felt about him despite his condition. He wanted to feel more optimistic, but his hesitance prompted him to ask sheepishly, “So, uhhh… why did it end with him?”
Dash didn’t expect him to ask something like that, but she only thought about it for a second before replying, “Well… it was a lot of little things, but none of it involving gender and stuff. I think in the end, we were… just too different, I guess. He was studying to be a doctor, and was planning to move to Trottingham to get his PHD. As for me though, I was struggling to keep my sports scholarships up while under academic probation. We were pretty different ponies, and I think at the end, we both realized things weren’t gonna last.”
“Oh…” Even though he was a little disheartened to hear that, Flash didn’t see much remorse or woe from the mare after she mentioned that ex-coltfriend of hers. “Well, ummm… he seems like a good guy.”
“He really was,” she said with a light nod while smiling up at him. “He may have not had the equipment between his legs either, but he was still just as much of a stallion as you are. And despite what you showed me, I… I really don’t think it’d be an issue at all.”
“Yeah, but… but why not?!” asked Flash in confusion, still needing a little clarity as to why the mare was okay with all this. While Dash groaned and face-hoofed in frustration, the stallion couldn’t help asking, “I mean, it really is great you can see the positives from him and all, but… do you really think that would work for us?! I mean… what if you ever wanted kids?!”
That question made the mare reel back with a face of legitimate disgust. “Ugh! Please tell me you don’t want kids!”
Despite his conflicting feelings about their conversation, Flash was quick to shake his head and sigh. “Well… not really. I mean, if I did want to be a father, do you think I’d agree to be gelded?”
“Fair point,” responded Dash with another shrug. “But yeah, to answer your question for me, I can safely say that I haaaaaaaaate kids! I mean, except Scootaloo, of course. But still, do you remember when we went out to that restaurant, and we were sitting next to that one family?”
Magnus grimaced a bit at that unpleasant dinner, completely understanding the mare’s hesitance about foal-bearing. With how loud and obnoxious those kids acted, and how inattentive their parents were while they wrecked havoc around the restaurant, it was one of the few moments that the stallion was grateful he could never knock up a poor mare and succumb her to that same fate. As he thought that night over, Rainbow smirked when she saw his unnerved shudder.
“Exactly!” she said while slapping his shoulder with a hoof. “Plus, that was also a big reason why things ended between me and my ex. He wanted kids, and I didn't. But seriously though... if anything, you not having any balls is a huge relief for me! Like, it would be really convenient to not need to use birth control anymore, you know?”
Flash sighed and nodded apprehensively, even though he felt like Rainbow was missing one of the bigger issues regarding his gelded status. After taking a breath, the stallion bit his lip before pointing out awkwardly, “Well, it… it doesn’t really change the fact that I… I can’t exactly… you know…”
With the way the pegasus’ face blushed in discomfort, Rainbow didn't need to ask what Flash was trying to explain. And given how sad his tone sounded, it seemed like he knew from experience. But while she could understand the stallion’s hesitance, she was quick to put up her hoof and say, “Okay, there are three things you need to know before you dismiss your ability to have sex. Number one: You have a tongue, and I have toys, so don’t you think for a second that we couldn’t have any fun!”
As he reeled back in shock, Flash’s face blushed immensely at hearing that detail. He certainly wasn’t expecting her to say something so blunt and explicit regarding the matter, but Dash didn’t even flinch as she continued with a firm stare on him. “Point number Two! The whole ‘castrated ponies can’t get hard’ thing is like, totally a myth! Like, I know I’m not the smartest pony around, but even I know that! And even if you couldn’t do it on your own, there are pills to fix that! Or spells! Or potions! Heck, I can bet you good money that Zecora has like, five different potions to get you as hard as a rock!”
Magnus sighed before shrugging reluctantly, his brows raised a little more in optimism at hearing that point. Even though he wanted to stay grounded, he had to admit that he really liked how dedicated Rainbow was acting with her points, as unabashed as they were. Of course, when he glanced back at her with a blushed smile, he was able to see just how warm her expression became as she explained her final point.
“And point number three is… Well… It’s not like I like you solely for the idea of sex! I mean, that’d be a pretty shallow reason for wanting to be with you, right?”
Realizing how correct that assumption was, Flash blushed in embarrassment as he looked away from her. Meanwhile, the mare giggled and said in assurance, “It’s alright dude, I get it. Like, sex can be important in a relationship sometimes. But that doesn’t mean I’d only want to be with you for that…”
As her smile grew more genuine and caring, Rainbow held onto Magnus’ hooves again while looking into his eyes sweetly. “I mean… you remember all that stuff I told you earlier, right? About… how awesome and caring you were, and how you always made me feel special?”
Flash couldn’t help smiling a little more genuinely as his felt his cheeks grow warner. As he stared back into those gorgeous magenta eyes of Rainbow Dash’s, the stallion held onto her hooves just as tightly while she kept speaking.
“Well, I meant every word I said, Flash Magnus… You’re such an amazing guy, and that fact that you came from a completely different time doesn’t matter at all to me! I know you’re self-conscious about what you had to do, but… I couldn’t care less, dude. I like you for you. Not for whether or not your sundae has a couple of nuts in it.”
Even though he was touched, the stallion had to look away and laugh at such a stupid joke. “Really, Dash? Did you really just say that?”
Dash’s muzzle wrinkled a bit, but it was mostly for her own statement than his. “W-What? You’ve seen who I’m friends with! Sometimes corny jokes stick.”
“Yeah, well…” After taking a calming breath, Flash looked back at Rainbow with a relieved and elated look on his face. “Rainbow, I… I was honestly worried that if you knew the truth, that I… I’d lose one of the greatest and most confident mares I ever met in my life. But… But it turns out that you finding out made you even better! I mean… what did I do to deserve someone like you?”
Dash sighed silently while her smile widened in response to such a sweet question. However, Magnus took a moment to think it over before adding jokingly, “Well… aside from that one thing, I guess...”
That made both of them laugh more comfortably, and their blushes deepend while they kept holding each other’s hooves. Rainbow was the first to let go of one of his hooves, but she then rested hers on the side of his face before leaning in. Flash, upon realizing what she was going to do, slowly closed his eyes and leaned in as well. Despite having thought he would never experience that kind of feeling again, the soldier was thrown into a world of relieving elation the instant he felt Rainbow’s lips touching his own.
Dash held onto Magnus as long as she could as the two experienced that first kiss, both of them feeling much closer than they had ever felt before. As their lips locked together in sweet embrace, it seemed like time stood still for that wonderful, albeit brief moment. By the time they pulled away, Flash’s face looked as red as Big Macintosh’s as his body quivered from such a long-missed feeling.
Dash almost wanted to check to see if Magnus was able to take things any further, but she knew that wasn’t needed right now. So instead, she waited until he came down from that moment before she asked in a cheeky tone, “So, Flash… do you still feel like you’re ‘Just a soldier’?~”
It took a moment for him to register what she asked, but he soon smiled wide with a chuckle while shaking his head. Both of his hooves came up to rest against Rainbow’s blushing face, and he replied to that question with a sultry-sounding, “Well… I think it’s better to say that I’m your soldier now~”
Dash giggled at such a cheesy line, but it was enough to lean in and nuzzle his snout lovingly. “You know what, big guy? That sounds fine by me~”
