Omake: The alternate reaction…

“Sit you two, we need to have a talk,” Granny Smith said sternly. Gulping, they made their way to their chairs.

“First things first,” she told them when they’d sat down. “Ah don’t mind ya gettin’ together… but could ya not do it when the rest of the family’s goin’ to be around?”

Blitz’s jaws dropped, then he straightened himself out and threw her his best salute. “Ma’am, yes Ma’am!”

“Then we’re good.” Granny stood back with a smile on her face.

“So… yer not mad?” Applejack asked hesitantly.

“Sakes alive, you think Ah’m mad over this?” Granny waved her hands. “It’s obvious he’s crazy over ya and ya both plan to make this last. Now, Ah’m no fool, an’ Ah know Blitz here ain’t yer first rodeo, but at least yer nothin’ lahk Apple Brandy back in Rainbow Falls. If’n you’d been sleepin’ around as much as she did, then Ah’d be mad!”

“Um…” Applejack looked at her uncertainly. “What do you mean, Granny?”

“She had fifty-six boyfriends in one year!” Granny shook her head. “The Grand Poobah of Slutdom, we called her!”

Two sets of jaws dropped, and there was just silence for a moment. Then, Applejack shook her head. “Fif… fifty-six‽”

“That’s right!” Granny shook her head. “Granted, she didn’t do the kind of sleepin’ you two’re doin’ before she got married, but boy did she get around in other ways!”

Applejack stared at Blitz, then shook her head. “...”

“An’ you should’ve heard two of our other friends when they found out how much that girl was gettin’ back in the day!” Granny threw back her head and laughed. “Ah can still hear one of them claimin’ it wasn’t possible, that nopony could’ve had more stallions than her! An’ then our other friend says… what was it? Oh yeah! The slut is dead, long live the slut!”

Applejack looked aghast at her grandmother’s words, and Blitz just shook his head. “You’ve got some interesting friends, Granny Smith.”

Granny gave him a big grin. “An’ don’t you ferget it!” Then she tilted her head. “Doggone it, now Ah’ve got me a hankerin’ for some cheesecake lahk we used to get back in the day…”

“I’ll go to Sugarcube Corner and get one for you!” Blitz volunteered.

“Thankin’ ya kindly, Blitz.” Granny smiled as he ducked out the door.

Applejack just shook her head with a smile of her own as she watched her coltfriend fly off. “That’s mah Blitz,” she said.

“Yer darn tootin’,” Granny replied. “Now, you hold onto that colt, Jackie. Ya’ve got yerself a fine young stallion there.”

“Ah know, Granny. Ah know.”

Author's Note

Anon e Mouse Jr.’s note: I blame my memories of a certain ‘80s/early ‘90s TV show that my mom watched in reruns for years for inspiring this version of events.

And it doesn’t help that the soundtrack for My Little Pony: The Movie (2017) contains a song that shares its title with that of that older show’s theme song, and even includes part of said theme song as its chorus...