I ran as fast as my legs could go. I cried as hard as my eyes let me. I couldn’t see where I was running but I didn’t care. I ran hoping to escape life or what ponies said was life. To me it didn’t feel like a life.
The constant pain, pity, looks of regret and the rejections made me think that the other ponies don't truly know what life is. They went about their lives smiling, falling in love and growing old. They don’t see the ugliness behind the veil of their ‘life’. They could never understand.
As I continued running all I could think about was my ‘life’. How an earth pony got a disease that's incurable. Constantly sitting in a bed and eating liquid food. It was not a life at all once you think about it. All the doctors saying that it’ll get better with those plastered smiles on their face. Hoping that they are giving you false hope. I knew better than that.
The constant visits to the hospitals. So often that I knew all of the staff by first names as well as the names of their family. The looks of pity from the nurses when they thought I wasn’t looking. The routine of checking my health and knowing it was still failing. Seeing the patients that walked out filled me with false hope that I might be the next one to go through those doors. Then reality sets in.
I snagged my hoof on a tree root. I tumbled a few times on the ground covering my body in bruises and cut. As I lay there I look back on the happy moments of my life.
My first friend other than the hospital staff was a little filly by the name of Redjoy. She liked coming to the hospital with her father. She liked helping all of the patients there. Once she meet me she tried to help me. I had to tell her I was beyond help. The look on her face was one of innocence and ignorance. Ignorance to concept of not being able to help everpony. She made my time there bearable since my parents have long since given up on my broken body.
Ah my parents. Once they heard that my affliction was incurable they cried. They cried not for me but for themselves. They had lost the only heir to their fortune from sea trading. They did try to help me for the first few years but their support grew thinner and thinner as the years past. Until they decided that they needed a new heir.
There was a time where I thought of ending it all. There was no point in continuing on but Redjoy stopped me. She introduced me to the world of books and writing. I found joy in being able to write stories were I would leave and enjoy a normal life. I would write stories of being in another world, transforming into a fictional character and having powers I could only dream of. Once I made it to my teen years my writing started to drift to getting the mare at the end of the stories. But that’s all they were, stories.
As I laid there on the ground I remembered more of the stories I wrote. Hoping that a wizard or somepony of that nature would come up to me and heal me. I remember there was a time when one of the nurses found one of my stories and gave it to one of her friends.
Later that week I got a visit from a stranger who said they really liked my story and asked if they could have more. That’s how I met my best friend Micro Chips. I laughed at his name because it reminded my of tiny potato chips. He told me that microchips was a new technology that was released when he was born. He talked for hours about the world of computers. I had no interest in them but the way he talked about them pulled me in. One visit a week turned into multiple visits per day. He was my only best friend I had. He helped me more than Redjoy ever could. He never looked at me with pity, He never said he was sorry and he never questioned what the doctors said. He would always say that he knew I would get better. He always said it with his stupid smile. He gave me hope even though it was small.
I remember the day I passing the day that was supposed to be my last. The doctors were happy. They thought that it meant I was getting better, but I could feel that was far from the truth. They were so happy that they called my ‘family’. The day they came to see me was on of the worst ones in my life.
As soon as they walked in the door Micro Chips was furious with them. They shouted at each other until I had to tell them to stop and even then they still argued. I made peace with the reason they left. It wasn’t their fault. It was just the hand they were dealt with. The arguing lasted the whole day until the doctors had to call the royal guard.
A few weeks later I had a dream of a mare and the moon. The mare was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Her coat looked so smooth. The blue seemed to calm me to such a degree I had almost felt more alive then than I ever had. He eyes pulled me in. They showed the same pain eyes have. The pain of loneliness. She would call out to me but I could never reach her by the time I would wake up. Her beauty was always out of reach whenever I dreamed of her.
As I lay there I could feel my life slowly leaving my body. It was not as scary I was lead to believe. I felt, peaceful. I could hear hoof steps a little ways from me. I looked and I could faintly make out Micro Chips. I knew he would follow me once he found out I wasn’t at the hospital. It wasn’t the first time I ran from the hospital but I could tell that this would be the last.
He picked me up and teleported us back to my room. We both knew I didn’t have much fight left in me. I told him that I would miss him. In the first time since I met him he cried. He cried so hard I thought by the time he was done he wouldn’t have any more tears. He held my hoof as he sobbed and kept saying that I would pull though. I started tearing up. Why did I have to be born like this? Did I do something wrong? I asked myself for the thousandth time since I first came to this hospital. I didn’t want to leave this world no matter how cruel it was to me. I wanted to stay here with Micro Chips, Redjoy, the hospital staff, all the ponies I’ve meet throughout my life and the beauty of my dreams. The mare and the moon.
I knew my time was coming to an end. I could feel my body growing more and more tired. I looked around the room and Micro Chips on last time as I made my final peace. I smiled as I lightly squeezed Micro Chips’ hoof trying to get his attention. I asked him if he knew why I would try to sneak out of the hospital. He shook his head as more tears fell. I lightly laugh and tell him about the mare and the moon. He ask why I would run for something like that. I said,
“Because I wanted to fly to the moon.”
