Twilight's Pirate Adventures

Chapters

2 - Setting Sail
3 - Bon Voyage
5 - Land Ho
6 - Friendly Harbor
7 - Magic Solves Everything
8 - Greybeard
9 - For Want of a Hat
10 - Always a Bigger
11 - Thinking Hard
12 - Elemental Gauntlet
13 - Pirate Lord
1 - A Salty Tale
4 - There be Dragons

2 - Setting Sail

"I'll be out of town for a few weeks," explained Twilight with a soft nod towards the busy Rarity. "I just thought my friends should know so nopony gets worried."

"Thank you for the consideration, darling." Rarity measured along a section of cloth. "Still terribly busy, unfortunately. What has you running off then?"

Spike hiked a thumb towards Twilight. "We're going off to see some pirates, and not even the ones we know." His voice dripped with his dislike of the general idea.

Rarity paused in her work and looked over at Twilight. "You don't have a proper outfit for this at all." She shook her head quickly as she hopped to the floor. "This won't do."

"I'll be fine," assured Twilight as she backed away from the manic gleam in her friend's eyes. "Remember the Yaks? We should approach as who we are, not try to pretend to be them."

Spike placed himself just in her path and put out a hand, catching her by her rump. "Not so fast, Twilight. Rarity has a point." A little smirk on his face betrayed his satisfaction at the situation.

Rarity swung a leg over Twilight's neck, catching her. "Thank you, Spike. Now, where was I, yes, a proper buccaneer's outfit for you. You'll be fitting in better in no time at all. I'll squeeze you into my tight schedule, mmm, a hat. You'll need a proper chapeau to go with it..."

Twilight sighed softly as she went along with Rarity's movements, giving up in her escape.

Spike turned one way and the other as he looked himself over. "Huh, not bad..." He was dressed as a pirate, with a tri-tipped hat atop his head. He ran his claws along the golden edge that went across the front. "A little fancier than I'd expect, but not bad."

Twilight rolled her eyes as she followed him, wearing a pony version of the same outfit, though her cutie mark was emblazoned over where it would normally be. "At least we're a matching pair." She kicked a hoof lightly, shaking the snug black boot that was on the end of it, and all her other hooves. "How are the boots?"

Spike peeked down at his own pair. "Not used to wearing them, but, eh, had worse. Besides, Rarity made them." He smiled. "They look lovely."

"You would think that." Twilight shook her head and trotted away purposefully. "Let's meet Celeano."

"Besides, it came with a sword!" Spike drew a slender blade free of the sheath at his side.

Twilight reached a booted hoof over and casually bent the sword. "It's made of plastic, Spike. Don't even think of using it."

The sword sprang back into shape the moment Spike wrenched it away in a dramatic swing. "Don't worry, I'll be responsible." Despite his words, he made several faux swings and slashes at some imagined foe.

Twilight quirked a smile as she hastened her steps, prompting Spike without words to sheath his sword and dash after her. They approached the outskirt of the town, where a ship hovered. It was Celeano's vessel, bobbing back and forth gently.

One of her crew spotted her and gave an enthusiastic cry, echoed moments after by the rest of the ship. A ladder was thrown over the side, made of rope and swaying in the breeze and with the motions of the ship it was attached to.

Spike peered at it, then shook his head. "I assume we're not going up that way?"

Twilight spread her wings wide. "I'm not, but someone made sure I was wearing this outfit, and they get to climb." With a powerful beat, she was airborne, but listed to the side an instant later.

Spike had caught one of her legs in a quick jump and was scaling her. "Oh no you don't!" he called as he climbed.

"Spike!" She tried to right herself, but by the time she had, Spike was securely mounted on her back. She looked over her shoulder at him with a frown. "I'll have my payback, later, young dragon."

He stuck out his tongue at her before pointing up at the ship. "Our ride awaits. Besides, this whole trip was your idea."

Though grumbling, Twilight ascended for the ship. Seeing them coming without the help of the ladder, it was drawn back up onto the deck. When she crested the side of the ship, she saw she wasn't the only pony up there.

Hovering just before Squabble, the wall-eyed parrot, was Derpy, the wall-eyed pony. Somehow their eyes were meeting in the way only they could manage. They were turning their heads this way and that way, but their eyes never left one another.

Twilight tilted her head at the odd sight. "Um."

Mullet waved the whole thing away, his good eye focused on Twilight. "Nevermind them, welcome aboard, Princess. It's good to have ye aboard as a proper payin' passenger instead of a stowaway." He gestured with his dark green feathered hand to the deck. "Come in fer a landin' an' join us proper."

Spike waved from atop her. "Heya, Mullet. How've things been? I mean, you got a new ship?" He hopped clear of Twilight the moment she was over the ship and landed precariously on his new boots, wobbling a moment before he righted himself.

Mullet patted the railing of the ship. "The captain put most of her reward money into getting us back in the air again."

"Practically all the money, mate," argued Celeano as she emerged from below. "But let's not fuss over that. We have a new assignment." She put out her hands. "Twilight, welcome!" Her eyes wandered over Twilight and Spike. "Decided to try to look the part?"

Spike drew his sword as quickly as he could, almost tearing free the sheath in his haste to assume a pirate-like pose. "We're ready to set sail!"

Celeano smirked at the sight of the small, armed, dragon. "Well, I feel safer already, having you at our side." The others laughed jovially.

Even as Spike deflated, Mullet put a hand on his head, ruffling his fins. "It's all in good sport, little buccaneer. Do you have any idea how to swash a buckle?"

Twilight put out a hoof but Celeano was in front of her, blocking the way. "I made a room up just for you. It's odd in a way." She put a talon to her lower beak. "We've hauled cargo before, just happens to be alive this time. A cute little pony princess hoping to play with the pirates." She turned away and began leading the way. "You've been in the hold before." It wasn't a question.

Twilight had. As she descended the steps after Celeano, she saw the hold had been split in half with a dividing plank serving as a bulkhead that ran from the roof to the floor. Her steps sounded odd to her. Instead of the usual clop-clop of her hooves, her boots made new sounds of leather striking wood. At least the rhythm was right.

Celeano closed her talons around a simple door-knob that appeared to have been hastily crafted into what barely qualified as a 'door'. It was more of a rectangle of wood clearly cut right out of the surrounding wall, with a crude hinge installed, and that door-knob. She pushed inwards and it slid open without too much effort, though it wasn't as smooth as one might desire. "Your room."

Twilight stepped past her into the room, looking around as the sparse appointments. There were two hammoks strung out with cloth. There was were a few bowls, made of metal. More of caraffes, really. Twilight approached one curiously. "Something to keep water in?"

Celeano snorted back some laughter. "That's for when you can't keep water in."

Twilight colored swiftly and turned away from the chamber pot in a hurry. "It's... lovely."

"You're lying." Celeano patted Twilight on her pointed head. "It's the best we could manage with what we had. You're our guest, make no mistake there. We'll get you there, safe."

"And back," added Twilight, looking over her shoulder.

"And back." Celeano crossed her arms. "Speaking of that... I'm glad to see you didn't come looking like a blasted princess. It suits you, really. You approach them with all the airs of royalty, they'll take everything you have, and maybe a little more if they can get away with it." She wagged a lone talon. "They're scallywags and brigands, the best of 'em."

Twilight hiked a brow at that as she finished her circle and began to return to the door. "Are you either of those things?"

Celeano flashed a devilish grin. "At times... You should hear the tales, ar... But that's in the past. Right now, I'm your ferryparrot, and I plan to get that right."

Abovedeck, Mullet gestured to a selection of blades arrayed in a row. "The ones on the left should fit the sheath you already have."

Spike approached them with wide eyes. "Are they real?" His talons soon told him the truth as he wrapped his claws around the smooth and cool metal that could not be mistaken for plastic. "Wow..." He hefted up a shortsword that looked about the right size for himself and began to giggle.

"'Tis no laughin' matter, m'hearty!" Mullet had his own sword out in a smooth motion, turning it towards Spike. "If you have a blade out, it means you're willing to use it. Are ye?"

Spike fell backwards in surprise, the sword sinking into the deck where it landed. "Woah! Hey! I didn't mean anything..."

Mullet thrust out an empty hand towards Spike. "Don't be so ready to fold. If you plan to be a swashbuckler, it just means ye mean it when ye pull that weapon free. So unless we're sparrin', I don't want to see it wagging about like yer just discovering you're a boy."

Spike burst into laughter at the joke, accepting the hand and righting himself. "R-right! So... I should put this away?" He reached for his embedded sword.

"For now, probably best, little mate." Mullet slid his own sword away. "We'll get a chance to practice after we set sail proper. Most days, isn't a lot to do, so you'll have something productive to do."

Spike tugged at the sword, but it was in deep. He grunted with the effort and gave a stronger heave. He could feel it inch just slightly. "Got it..." He bent his knees and put his all into it, and the sword wrenched free, sending him staggering back before he bumped into the guard rail. "There we go." He turned it around to face the right way instead of straight down and slipped it into his sheath. Tucked away, it looked almost the same as the original plastic sword.

"Ye won't be needing this bit of waste." Mullet casually tossed the plastic sword off the side. "Ye got the real thing, and by the time we're done, that'll mean something."

Spike's eyes followed the trajectory of his so-recently obtained blade. Still... "'Least I have the real thing..."

Derpy nodded softly at the parrot who had only squawked at her. "Got it." She flapped back towards town.

Squabble nodded fiercely back in the direction Derpy had gone, as if the two had come to some clear accord. With a final squawk, he returned to his duties.

Twilight appeared from belowdeck, Celeano just behind her. "Spike?"

"Right here!" Spike waved eagerly as he broke into a jog towards her.

Celeano turned and pointed out across the horizon. "It's time to set sail, me fine crew. Let's show the princess here she's in good talons." The crew gave a communal cheer of agreement as they hurried around to get the ship mobile.

Soon it rumbled beneath them and began to sail through the air, cutting a clean path across the city and towards their target.

Celeano tapped a crystal foot against the wooden deck. "Ah, always good to start a journey proper. Princess, do you drink?"

Twilight looked baffled at that. "I drink plenty of things, but water most commonly."

Author's Note

Yar har! Let's get going to the Island of Pirates!

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3 - Bon Voyage

Adjusting the sails and ensuring all the rigging was in place, the ship quickly went from an active nest of activity to a more sedate monitoring. Ponyville passed out of sight, the familiar faces and sights receding quickly into the distance. With the wild greenery moving beneath them, seemingly slowly due to their altitude, there wasn't much needing to be done.

Twilight tapped a hoof softly. "I expected... That was silly of me. An airship's no better than a train; it'll still take time to get where you're going." She turned her head towards Spike as the rest of her aligned with the stairs heading down. "I'll be below deck, Spike. May as well read up on seacritters and their habits."

Spike waved, watching her go with a building tension. The moment her purple rump vanished from view, he did a quick turn to spy Mullet and dashed for him. Jumping over some ropes in the way and scaling over a small barrel, Spike perched on its edge, grinning at the larger seabird. "So..."

"Ye be that eager, are ye?" He continued as he was, knotting some rope together. "It isn't easy."

"What is?" asked Spike with a soft shrug, almost falling from the barrel. He turned the motion into a dismount, attempting to make it look like that was exactly what he had wanted. "I'm ready to swash all the buckles." He grabbed for his belt, lifting the buckle up importantly.

"That ain't the buckle we're talkin' 'bout, little sea swab." He set the rope aside, hooking it on a large knob of wood (a belaying pin to those that knew) before turning to Spike properly. "A sword's well and good, and it paints a mighty fine image for a pirate to just have one, but it ain't always practical." He waved a lone talon. "What happens when yer counterpart also has a sword?"

"Um, you outsword them?" ventured Spike in an unsure tone.

"Hopefully, but there are other ways." He broke into a smooth stride past Spike. "When we know the fighting's right, we have a secret weapon. Do ye know why we're called swashbucklers?"

"Awesome buckles?" Spike pointed to his belt, which did have an impressive buckle on it.

"Awesome bucklers," corrected Mullet as he stomped on the deck and popped open a hidden compartment. "Ye got two hands, may as well make use of both of the blasted things." He dropped to a knee and pulled up the cover to a box, revealing a selection of shields. His talon ran over them thoughtfully before pulling the smallest free from the collection and tossing it to Spike with the casual flick usually reserved for frisbees.

Spike grabbed the shield with a surprised squeak. Once the shock wore off, he turned it around in his hands, examining it curiously. "It's like a bowl, with a bar going across it?"

"Not a completely wrong summary." Mullet pushed the lid back down on the box, then kicked the whole compartment closed. "Ye won't be eatin' out of that though, no. It's for keeping all your vitals where ye want 'em." He grabbed for his sheath but did not draw his sword. He hefted the entire thing and swung it in Spike's direction in a quick jab.

With an 'eep' Spike hid behind his buckler and clenched his eyes shut, not seeing the scabbard thump against the shield, but he felt it. He dared open one eye, then the other. "Oh, uh, worked?"

"No thanks to you." Mullet smirked down at the little dragon. "Ye have to guide it, one hand, not both like it's your only weapon. Yer other hand be busy holdin' a sword proper, won't it?"

Spike soon had his claws wrapped around the cross-section of the buckler, forming a metal dome projecting from his hand. "Like this?"

"Exactly. Now, don't let me hit you." Before Spike could respond, he began to swing at his small trainee, sending him scuttling around when he wasn't making a quick block.

"Squawk!"

Mullet glanced aside at Squabble. "When'd ye get there? What's up?"

Squabble pointed with a wing towards the front of the ship, where the Captain stood, watching them with a hard look.

"No no," she said, making a shooing motion with her talons. "First mate clearly has a plan for when our client comes to rip out our feathers when we batter her precious assistant around."

Mullet looked ready to defend himself, but Spike reacted faster, "hey! I'm not being 'battered around'. I'm learning how to swash buckles."

Celeano cracked a deep smirk as she began to approach. "Ye can't swash any buckles until there's something in both of your hands." She extended her talons before, in a display of speed, she had her sword drawn, and a buckler covering her other hand. She brought the sword across and banged her shield with it, producing a loud ringing of steel on steel. "Now that's a swashed buckle."

Spike's eyes widened with understanding. "Ohhh."

Mullet crossed his arms, sword and sheath still held in his right hand. "I woulda got to that part later, Captain."

Squabble made their way off, their job done for the moment. Celeano directed her sword at Spike. "I'm certain ye would have, eventually. Well, go on and draw that little toy blade of yours." Spike and Mullet both looked quite guilty. "What? Go on." Celeano frowned at the both of them. "I'm losing me patience."

Spike went to put his buckler down, only to have a sword uncomfortably close to his face.

"You'll be wanting both," corrected Mullet, smirking. He wasn't the one holding a sword to Spike.

Spike bounced back a few steps, bumping into a bundle of rope. "Okay okay!" He lowered a hand to his sheath and drew it free, but it was an awkward motion. "It's in the wrong hand," he noted in a soft complaint.

Celeano shrugged. "Practice, and it'll stop being the wrong hand. If ye got the buckle in the right hand, feel free to focus on it." She advanced a menacing step. "It's a fine weapon as much as a defense. No one wants to be punched with one, and the edges work mighty fine too."

A wave of determination brimming within Spike, he suddenly charged at the more experienced fighter. The bold move was not what she was expecting, and he brought up his buckler-clad hand across the hilt of her blade. She swore at the impact and staggered back a step. "Nice shot there, sea swab," she complimented, her smile returning. "Hit a little harder and ye might've disarmed me."

She punched forward with her own buckler and Spike tried to block it with his own sword, crossing it in the way just in time to be struck. His grip with his left hand was not up to the task of stopping the motion and the blade was knocked free of his grip instantly. He went pale and clamped his mouth shut, shivering in place.

Mullet pushed off the side-rail he had been leaning against. "Blast it all."

Celeano didn't see what was wrong, at first, moving in to continue the sparring, but Spike wasn't trying to defend himself. "What's wrong?" Then she saw it. The sword had made a fine line along one of Spike's arms and he had a tear in his new outfit. "Oh... Come on, Spike. We'll get you dressed in no time."

He gave a shaking nod, keeping himself quiet despite the obvious pain of it.

Mullet reached him and knocked his buckler aside before lifting up the young dragon in his arms. "Congratulations. Yer blooded proper now, and by a captain no less." He walked off with Spike. "Many who could claim the same, aren't in the position t'be claiming anything at all, if you catch the drift."

Spike gave a weak laugh. "I-It's nothing..." He forced a smile with all the bravado he had remaining.

"Nothing at all," agreed Mullet. "We'll get it washed and your shirt mended. Ye'll be back to swashing in no time."

Celeano followed behind, looking a little awkward. "Just like old times, isn't it?"

Mullet glanced over his shoulders. "I did hear of it, Captain. Care t'tell the tale proper?"

"Nothing complicated." She descended into the hold with Mullet. "Just that I was a little devil when it came to training, back in the day."

"Ain't much changed, s'far I see, Captain." Mullet's eyes remained forward, striding quickly past the princess' room.

The sound of hooves made them all tense. She was approaching the door! Celeano shoved Mullet ahead and turned to lean up against the wall just beside the door. When it opened, she smiled brightly at Twilight. "How're ye enjoying the trip, Twilight?"

"Hello, Celeano," replied Twilight with a warm smile. "I heard talking out here." Her eyes swept the area. "Huh, was someone just out here, besides you?"

"Just giving orders," dismissed Celeano with a wave of a hand. "I have to keep these sea dogs pointed in the right direction, or the ship won't move right. 'Tis a captain's burden."

"Ah, I see." A book floated in from behind Twilight. "I'm reading a fascinating article on the differences of maritime traditions between cultures throughout the world. Did you know how many deep and rich traditions have formed around doing the same basic thing? It really is a riveting topic. Would you like to read some with me?" She smiled hard enough for her jaw to squeak under the adorable pressure of it.

Celeano glanced in the direction Mullet and Spike had gone. "Um... sure, let's have at these 'rich traditions' of yours." She stepped forward into Twilight's web, knowing she was sacrificing herself for the good of her crew. She wouldn't have had it any other way.

Mullet set Spike down on a stool and had his shirt off quickly. They were in the dining hall, beside the large table they shared meals at."It's alright to admit being cut with a sword hurts, matey. Ain't much that hurts worse." He started to produce gauze and other first aid supplies. "I'm damn proud, ar; keepin' that quiet."

Though paled, Spike still smiled at the compliment. "If Twilight finds out, she'd get angry at me."

"Angry at you?" Mullet hiked a brow as he worked on the slice carefully. "She'd tear us apart first. It's perhaps best for th' both of us that we keep this to ourselves, aye?"

"Yea..." Spike flexed the fingers of his injured arm. "It's... not so bad..." As soon as he had a bandage wrapped around the arm, he pulled it back and let out a slow breath. "What'll we do about the shirt?" He hiked the opposing thumb at the cut and stained shirt.

"We stitch it, then we clean it. What else?" Mullet grabbed the shirt and sat down with it. "Being a swashbuckler means knowin' how to tend to what's yours. Come here, sewing's not half as dangerous, but jus' as important, really."

"You know how to sew?" Spike sat down beside Mullet, watching him as he threaded a needle. "I mean, I thought... that was more of a mare's thing."

Mullet frowned at him. "What be givin' ye that idea?"

Spike lifted his shoulders. "Most of the stallions I know don't care much about clothes, the mares do, and the one tailor I know is a mare. So, uh... yeah?"

Mullet dropped the needle and gave Spike a shove across the noggin, making the poor dragon wobble dangerously. "Out at sea, or up in the air, there ain't some lovey dovey shop to stop by. Ye know how to handle your own things, or you don't have things. Personally, I like me clothes, so knowing how to patch a cut or a hole seems like a good idea, get me?"

"Aye aye, sir." Spike shot a smart salute. "Um, sorry. I wasn't trying to..."

"I get it." He picked up the needle and returned to slowly mending the cut. "Yer a lubber. Maybe we'll work some of that out of you, by the time this trip's over."

Author's Note

The first wound of the journey, and we haven't even run into any opposition yet. Does this bode well?

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5 - Land Ho

Twilight nudged her rook forward. "Check." She cocked a brow at Spike, daring him to react.

He licked over his lips as he eyed the board. "Mmm, what if I..." He reached for a piece, putting his fingers on it but not moving it just yet.

"Land ho!" came an excitable cry.

Celaeno unfolded her spyglass in an instant, looking down and forward from the front of the ship. "There she be! Prepare for descent!" The entire crew gave a cheer, rushing to bring the ship into the dock below.

Spike hopped from his seat. "Well, guess we'll just have to stop this game here. Uh, thanks for the match."

Twilight rolled her eyes as she stepped to the deck of the ship. "Trying to call that a draw, are we?" She moved past him despite that, trotting towards the front of the ship with him following behind. "Now, you mentioned, Captain, that the old ruler had stepped down?"

"It's a bit more complicated than that." She wobbled a feathered hand in the air. "He's announced it, but it hasn't gone into effect yet, since he hasn't picked who'll be the next."

Twilight turned to the captain, pointing a hoof. "The way you described it before, it was chaos. The pirates were struggling to even think of how to select a new leader. Now, you have a leader, but they're just slow about picking a replacement?"

Celaeno crossed her arms. "Just because he's there doesn't make him any more in charge. I said he retired, and he did, but he's still there. The others want his blessing to be the next lord of the island, and not a single swashie has succeeded in impressing him."

Twilight sank to her haunches with a thoughtful frown.

Spike gave a little 'huh'. "So, he's still kind of in charge, at least of finding a new person to be in charge, and everyone's waiting for that to happen?"

"That's about the size of it, aye." Celaeno turned away and stepped back towards the steering wheel. "Be ready for a few bumps. We'll be landing on water in not too long."

Twilight turned back to Spike. "Well, then we have a clear person to approach."

"Woah."

"What?" Twilight followed his eyes, completing her circle to look down and see they were approaching a sizable island with countless ships all along its many beaches. Some ships hovered, but most were resting clearly in the water. Those that hovered seem to have large bits of hanging tapestries with words and pictures on them, perhaps advertising.

"Wow," she echoed, rearing up and putting her forehooves on the rail for a better view of things. "It really is a little nation." She could see many little trails of smoke coming from chimneys and the cut of roads marking the land as civilized. The roads were not even squares, or even clear circles. A bit of a jumbled mess, Twilight imagined they were the result of what happened when a community didn't bother to do a lot of planning about the layout of where buildings were placed.

The details were becoming more clear as they descended. Spike thrust a finger forward at a collection of people in bathing suits seemingly playing a game of volleyball. Most of them were bipedal, though one pony delivered a sudden and vicious spike, to the unheard but easily imagined cheering of their team. On the other team, a biped dragon picked up the ball, probably saying something snippy, and the players arranged for the next serve.

Twilight shook her head. "This doesn't look like too bad of a place. Celaeno was just trying to make it sound worse than it was."

Spike leaned dangerously over the side. "Uh, Twi?"

"Yes?" She turned to see what he was pointing at and saw a cat person rubbing their head, the swinging doors of a tavern still wobbling where they had crashed through it moments before. "What's the--"

Twilight didn't get to finish her question as the ship touched down on the water with a great lurch. Spike yelped as he fell over the side, but only descended a precious foot before Twilight's reflexes let her get a grip on him in her magic. She held him there, upside down, as the ship settled from its transition from the air to the sea.

Once the water became relatively calm beneath them, Twilight leaned forward with a cruel smile. "Now then, I believe you are owed a little something, my dear Spike."

Spike's eyes went wide and he began flailing his arms. "Wait wait wait! Don't let me go, please!"

"Why shouldn't I? A little water won't hurt you, but it may cool y--" She cut off as Spike's sword slipped free of its sheath and made a shallow gouge along the slide of the ship before plunking into the water. "What..." She lifted the panicked dragon up and set him down on the deck of the ship. "Why did your toy sword do that?"

Mullet's hand came down suddenly on Spike's shoulder, gripping firmly. "That's no way to take care of me blade, swabbie. Only cure for it." He picked up the still stunned Spike. "Fetch!"

"Wait!" Twilight thrust a hoof forward, but it was too late. Spike was hurled into the briny deeps with a short yelp before he hit the water. "What did you do that for?!"

"Ye were ready to do it yerself, Princess." He gave a firm nod. "Aside, I trusted him to watch over that blade. It's his responsibility."

"You gave him your sword? Why?!" Her wings were fully extended, concern across her face. "Is he alright?! I wasn't going to really drop him! Just scaring him would have been more than sufficient. Nevermind!" Her last words were punctuated with her leaping up on the rail. "I have to save Spike."

Before she could dive herself, the water sloshed a moment, and a small figure poked free, a sword held high. "Got it!" shouted Spike with pride.

Mullet patted her on the shoulder. "Have some faith in the boy. He's got some grit in 'em." He laughed and turned away as Twilight sank off the rail with a relieved sigh.

Celaeno pointed down at the bobbing dragon. "Get him out of there! This ain't the kind of treatment we promised."

Boyle snagged a lifesaver on his hook and hurled it in the same motion, sending it to land perfectly over Spike's head. As soon as Spike had his arms through it, Boyle began to pull him aboard in strong tugs. "Just hang in there, and we'll have you back where you belong."

Celaeno gestured for Twilight to come closer. "We're just about to land. I don't want you running off, Princess. This should be consi--"

"--It doesn't look so bad at all," argued Twilight. "They were playing volleyball of all things. I've seen more dangerous sports." She rolled her eyes mightily. "We're in more danger of your crew throwing us into the sea."

"Apologies for that," she said, casting a dirty look towards an unapologetic Mullet. "There's much worse than a bit of beach fun to worry about. The first thing that defines the people here is that they don't cotton to the laws passed anywhere but here, and the law fer here are mighty slender at times."

Spike got a hand onto the railing and pulled himself up and over, flopping onto the deck with a wet splat. Water splattered from the impact, his outfit soaking wet. The sword was in his other hand, still clenched as it lay beside him.

"Good job," congratulated Mullet as he crouched beside the waterlogged dragon. "Now, maybe next time ye won't be letting your sword take a swim, eh?"

Twilight dried Spike with a glowing horn and shimmering magic the drained the water free of him. She began to pluck at bits of seaweed and other green bits that clung to him with her magic. "I'm glad you're alright, Spike."

"Yeah..." He sat up, catching his breath. "Uh, so... everything's even?"

Twilight grabbed him in a hug. "Silly Spike, yes, everything is even now."

Captain Celaeno hiked a thumb at the busy dockside they had anchored in. "We're here. If everycreature's done getting themselves washed for the event, we can disembark. We should secure lodging first."

Spike pointed down. "We won't just sleep on the ship?"

"Etiquette," gruffly noted Boyle as he coiled a rope.

Mullet nodded in agreement. "We could, and some of us will, but it's impolite if the entire crew 'cowers' on their boat. It sends bad signals, makes us look afraid and weak."

"Too right," agreed the captain, a smile on her beak. "And we can't have that, now can we?" The crew roared their agreement.

Lix Spittle came forward with a thick and wide board, extending the gangplank down to the dockside. "Disembark when you're good and ready."

A voice shouted from the direction the plank had gone, "is that who I think it is?" When Captain Celaeno peered over the side, the voice continued, "it is! Captain Celly! It's been too long! Come down here!" The source of the calls was a bipedal canine with a grin only his species could pull off so well, his tongue lolling.

"Henry Mastiff," declared the captain as she leaned over the side. "As I live and breathe; It's been too long!" The both gave rough cries of jubilation as she descended the plank towards him, both hands spread out as if to give one another an embrace.

She swung a hand in and caught him across the face with a rough punch, sending him staggering back a few steps. He barely hesitated before stepping in, slamming a balled fist into her belly just a little too fast for her to dodge.

Twilight watched with wide eyes. "Should we... help?"

Boyle shook a hand. "Nah."

Lix Spittle laughed at Twilight's expression. "That's just how those two say hello. If it gets out of hand, we'll step in."

"And not a moment before then," addended Mullet. "Come on, no reason to be impolite about it." He began to descend the plank.

Even as the two laughed and pummeled one another, most of the ship disembarked. With both sides properly bruised, Celaeno waved back at her crew and passenger. "I know ye've met most of these scurvy birds."

"Oh, aye." Henry bobbed his head, spitty leaking from his swollen lips. "Mullet, found a new crew I see? Good taste in captains." He stepped forward and slapped the bird on the shoulder instead of going for a new brawl. "She been treating you right, boy?"

"Nothing to complain about, sir." He looked left and right. "Where's your vessel, speaking of that?"

"It's complicated." Henry waved the question away. "There'll be time for that later. Who's this fresh-looking slice of barnacle?" He had his eyes on Twilight, eying her equine form intently. "Ye be dressed the part, but the way you came down that plank tells me yer still a lubber. Did they gang press you, little miss?"

Twilight lifted an ear at him, poked through her fancy piratical hat. "I've come to--"

Mullet stepped in the way. "She's a friend of a friend. We owed a favor, so she's getting a peek around."

"Ha! I can smell a lubber a mile distant." Henry snuffled his wrinkly mastiff nose. "Ye stay close to the people who know what end's up and maybe you'll get to tell some fine tales to your friends back home, aye?"

Spike pointed up at the doggy pirate. "Say, uh, they didn't pick a new Pirate Lord, have they?"

Henry shook his head violently, jowels flapping about. "As if we should be so lucky! Old greybeard's sitting on his last duty something fierce. Fer being retired, he sure holds all the card. I guess it's true, old habits don't die easy."

A cynical voice interceded, "won't be the only thing dying if this keeps up." A passing sailor kept right on walking, not joining the conversation.

Author's Note

They have arrived! It's time for pirate adventures!

Henry didn't call out Spike as a lubber. Was he just missed, or was that an unspoken compliment?

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6 - Friendly Harbor

Captain Celaeno led the way, with Mullet, Spike, Twilight, and their newest, old, friend, Henry Mastiff. As they wove through the crowded street, Spike looked up at the larger biped canine curiously. "So, uh, are you a captain?"

"Once." Henry's shoulders lifted in a ponderous motion. He didn't duck left or right much, mostly moving as if the other people weren't there. He had the mass to make that work, and most seemed to avoid wanting to collide with him. "Lost that right when the blasted Storm King made a mess of things."

The mere mention of the Storm King was enough to get a chorus of dark utterances to rise in the crowd. Some unknown soul cried out, "May he rot!"

Twilight tilted her head slightly. "That's unlikely. Tell me, if you're not captaining, what is your current profession?"

"Mmm? Ye be dressed the part, but your words are far from familiar, pretty little lubber." Henry grinned at Twilight. "If'n you're asking what I be doing to earn my keep, I still sail. I just ain't the captain no more." He lifted a hand to point in the direction they were already going. "Ye might be able to meet her. Moll ain't a bad captain, and she didn't lose her ship, so that counts fer somethin'."

Celaeno arched a furry brow. "Moll?! You're working for Moll? Crazy unicorn's one of the few pirates that decided fighting the Storm King up front was a good idea, and survived to boast about it after the fact."

Henry grunted at that. "So, ye didn't then? Just rolled over and let him have his way?"

Celaeno wheeled towards her old frenemy and grabbed him by the collar in an iron grip. "I'll have you know I was with the group that saw him crumble to little bits of rock. Don't you give me sass, pup."

Henry brushed off one of her hands with a great sweet of one of his hands. "Ye were there? I'm sure Moll'd like to hear that story. She hated him extra powerful."

Twilight followed the conversation, her head moving with each person that spoke. "This Moll person sounds interesting, but I'm more interested in the old Pirate Lord right now."

Spike shrugged softly. "If she's on the way, no reason to be impolite. Did you say she's a unicorn?"

Celeano nodded. "Just like Twilight, minus the wings. Pony swashies aren't an unknown, though they ain't the majority either." She approached the swinging doors that looked familiar. They were the same doors that someone had been roughly hurled through before. "Now watch your manners. Being insulted while drinking is more than reason enough for a good brawl, and ain't not a person that'll try to stop it."

As they entered, the sound changed from the bustle of the port to a rowdy gathering of variably drunk sailors. Some were hunched over tables, deeply engrossed in games of cards or dice, others were singing sea shanties along with a piano being played by a shapely Abyssinian.

There were a few ponies scattered about, standing out by being the shorter members of the motley assortment of salty sorts. One of them was looking at them directly. She had purple fur with a black mane and tail. "Henry, what're ye dragging in here?" She called. "Did they wash up on shore?"

"Nah, Captain." He waved towards Celaeno. "Ye know Celly, her crewmate, Mullet, and two cute lubbers." He laughed at the last word, as if it were good enough to be a joke all by itself. "They were eager to meet ye."

Twilight advanced on three legs, one already raised towards the fellow pony. "Hello, it's nice to meet you. I'm--"

"Princess Twilight Sparkle," finished Captain Moll, waving a hoof at her idly. "Give up on royalty and come to sail the seas and airs? I know the feeling." As Twilight faltered and came to an uneasy stop, Moll laughed. "Or, perhaps not? What can I be doing for ye, little royal lass?"

Spike pressed a hand to his face as if to direct his voice. "Ex-nay on the Incess-Pray," he harshly whispered.

The room went quiet, as if his poorly whispered pig latin were far more obvious than Moll's original clear statement. All eyes were gravitating towards Twilight.

Celaeno's hand came down on Twilight's head. "She's already mine. Find your own," she warned them in firm tone.

Moll erupted into laughter. "Oh that is just too good. Celly here playing your nanny?" She hopped down from the seat she was perched on. "Ye coming to make friends? This is an odd place for it. Now, what can Moll do fer ye?"

Henry directed a thumb at Twilight. "She was looking fer the Pirate Lord."

"No beating around the bush, I see." Moll nodded as she approached Twilight, her eyes cast upwards. "They don't make a princess in less than 'large' size, do they?"

Twilight raised a hoof to her chest. "It's nice to meet you, Moll...?"

Moll did not provide her last name, instead poking Twilight in the side. "So what're ye looking fer out of that old bag of bones that is the Pirate Lord?"

"I was hoping to have a conversation." Twilight turned to keep Moll in sight, her wings fidgeting. "So... you're a captain, I gather? Have you had good... plundering?"

Moll snorted, a smile growing on her face. "She's as cute as the rumors say. I'd feel bad trying to ransom her off." Her eyes darted past to Celaeno. "Besides, no reason to make enemies over a little thing... Besides that, I bet Celestia'd just send your friends after you, and not a single bit. Then I'd have to deal with a load of nonsense, I would, and what would I have to show for it? Nothing, not a thing." She reared up just to spread her forehooves. "Doesn't sound like a logical thing to try, really. On the other hoof..." Her smile turned sly. "I happen to know something ye don't, my little lost lass. I could just ask for a few coins, the polite way, if you want to see a Pirate Lord so bad."

Whether it was meant to or not, many other pirates accepted the outspoken logic of why snatching Twilight up that very moment may have been a poor idea, and the noise of their activities lifted as games continued and other conversations slid away from pondering the princess among them.

Spike put his hands on his hips. "You don't fool me. If you were such a tough pirate, why weren't you the one that took down the Storm King."

Moll put a hoof on Spike's chin. "Aw, that's too cute. The both of ye are a real pair. I lost several dozen good ponies fighting the good fight against that rotten barnacle, so I'll not take any cries of my not pulling my weight." She gave Spike a light shove, forcing him back a step. "Asides, yer sailing with a pirate that flew under his banner for no small time. Yer in no place to be talkin' at all!"

Celaeno nodded softly. "Too true, but I was also the pirate that raided a castle with him in it, and it ended with him dashed to pieces on the rocks below."

Mullet gave a rough cry. "I was there to see it, and it was a handsome sight. He never looked better than that moment."

"Mmm, I'd love to see it." Moll sat on her haunches, regarding the group. "Henry, go back to the ship, they need your big hands for some loading work." He sharply saluted and ambled off and she looked to Spike, then Twilight. "So, what're you paying?"

Celaeno pulled Twilight back by the head she still held, threatening the poor princess' balance. "I think we can find Graybeard ourselves, thanks."

"Ye be saying that, but he's become much harder to put eyes on, these days." Moll wobbled a hoof to and fro. "Half the island wants to keel haul him from their ship, and that doesn't make anypony want to lounge in the open." She walked past them towards the door. "I'll be around. Find me when ye give up."

Celaeno watched the mare captain go before letting out a little breath. "Right then, let's get ourselves a room."

Twilight pointed a hoof upwards. "You can let go now."

Celaeno released Twilight with an apologetic smile. "Right, sorry. I never trusted them further than I could toss 'em, and she isn't a light pony."

While they talked, Mullet approached the front counter and said a few words to the barkeep, getting a key slid across the counter to him. "Thanks, matey." Mullet turned back to the others and returned with his booty. "Got us a suite up on the top floor." He hiked a thumb upwards. "He says it's the 'royal fittings'."

Celaeno grunted at that. "Right, no more secret about that, I see... That just means you're not leaving my sight, Princess."

Spike rolled a hand in place. "Right, so where to first, Captain?"

Celaeno considered it a moment before nodding. "Let's try the usual places, even if he ain't likely there. May turn up something." She led the group from the tavern, or tried.

Two burly dogs stood in the way, their scimitars already out, though resting against their boots. "Where you think you're going," asked the female one, the larger of the two. Her sharp ears were pointed at them, large nose quivering. "Moll may be too big a coward to make a move, but she don't speak for the rest of us."

The male swung his blade up suddenly. "Just put the princess down and nobody gets hurt, right?"

"Nobody?" echoed Twilight with a confused tone.

"Nopony," whispered Mullet.

"Ohhhh."

Celaeno had her own blade free in a flash. "I think not. Are we settling this the hard way, or are you getting out of our damned way?"

Mullet and Spike had their weapons out on the prompting, Spike taking considerably longer to finish the motion that Mullet had long practiced.

Twilight reared up to thrust her hooves forward. "Woah woah! There's no need for a fight."

The bitch's lips peeled back, revealing her jagged teeth. "I think there's plenty of need. What there ain't is a need for more talking. Grab her!" She kicked up her sword into readiness even as her other hand pointed at Twilight.

The room exploded in cheers. Though none of the others rushed to join in the foalnapping attempt, they were more than happy to watch it unfold and place bets on which side would emerge the victor.

With the sound of an empty gourd being struck and splintering wood, the male dog keeled over forward under a broken chair. Behind him stood Moll, spitting out the bit of chair that remained in her teeth. "A little scuffle? Don't mind if I do."

The bitch captain kicked her down comrade, getting him back into motion even as she advanced on Twilight. She parried Celaeno's thrust and knocked the blade aside. With an outstretched paw, she went for the prize, only for a short blade to ward her away, Spike putting himself between the angry captain and Twilight.

The downed dog scrambled to his feet, his sword still clenched in his right paw. "Dirty trick," he grunted as he swung at Moll, but the pirate captain ducked and bobbed around each swing, laughing at him all the while. He put both paws on the hilt and brought it down, but Moll ducked under a table. The sword pierced through it, the tip just an inch from her snout.

"Enough!" came a loud voice, driving all others to quiet. The barkeep stood up, a mace in one hand, patting the head of it against the other. "Now look what ye did, damaging my bar. That's my limit and ye know it! Get out, all of ya!"

Surprisingly, at least for Twilight and Spike, the two canines obeyed, leaving with loud grumbling all the way.

Author's Note

Poor fight scene, banished like a typo. It may return, also like a typo.

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7 - Magic Solves Everything

Twilight lifted the table in her magic, turning it to more directly face the damage.

"I said get out!" repeated the barkeep, approaching with a furious expression and mace going high, ready to bash in a pretty pony head.

"This isn't too bad." With a flash, the cut vanished from the wood, and she gently set it back where it started. "Sorry for the trouble, we weren't--"

"--Was that a trick?" The bartender's mace dropped, his arm slackening. He put his unhindered hand out and rubbed over the spot that had been cut through. "Huh..." He knocked just to be certain. "Huh... Well... Guess ye can stay afterall... if you can fix a few other things while yer at it."

Celaeno put a hand out in front of Twilight. "She'd be happy to, for a fair price. Fixing the table makes us even for the trouble, and we'll try to avoid any more of it."

Moll looked amused by the whole thing. "Never change. I'm with them, so I ain't leaving just yet."

Spike blinked at Moll. "You a--" Moll had popped a hoof into his mouth before he could finish his question, and he huffed as best he could around it.

Mullet shrugged. "We'll head up to our room and stop making a fuss around here."

Twilight pointed to the door. "Actually, we were just leaving, but we'll be back." She looked over her shoulder at Celaeno, "Where to first?"

Celaeno gestured for the door and led the band of pirates and princesses free into the street ahead of the tavern. "So, why are you still here, Moll?"

Moll shrugged softly. "You can blame me fer being interested, can ye?" She leaned back a little, allowing her green eyes to be more visible beneath her tri-fold hat. "So, looking for Greybeard was it?"

Spike hiked a thumb as he walked along with the others. "That's the name of the Pirate Lord, right? Him. Are they a him?"

"He is." Moll stepped ahead. "And I know exactly where he's hiding."

Celaeno rolled a hand impatiently. "And how much are ye asking for the privilege of learning?"

Moll trotted along nonchalantly. She bounced up onto a railing, moving along it with one hoof directly in front of the other as if it were a natural way for a pony to walk. "I was thinking of heading that way myself anyway. Ye see, have some business with the old blighter."

Twilight glanced at her friends before shrugging and following after Moll. "Thinking is one thing, but how soon are you planning on visiting?"

"Now that's a bright question." She launched free of the rail and spun as she did so, coming down facing Twilight, about ten feet ahead of her. "The way I'm seeing it, lass, ye can make me hurry up, or just follow me around until I get around to it. Either way suits me."

Mullet shrugged. "We don't have a schedule."

Twilight's eyes widened at that. "You might not, but--"

Celaeno tried to silence Twilight, but the damage was done. Moll was grinning mischievously. "Well, guess you should do what you can to get me pointed in the right direction."

Spike threw up his hands before letting them flop down in a mighty shrug. "What do you want?" he asked with a defeated tone.

"Aw, don't be like that." Moll waved a hoof before stepping aside to let a burly sailor get past her, holding a large box. "You're new with a sword, I can tell. You should be full of energy, not--"

"--About that..." Twilight turned to Spike, giving him a pointed and appraising look. "When did you get a real sword?"

Neither Celaeno nor Mullet moved to assist Spike, caught in Twilight's judging gaze. Spike nervously laughed before pointing right at the two birds. "I was carrying it, you know, since I dropped it in the water, and I forgot to give it back. Since we were in a fight, well...?"

Twilight raised a hoof and waved it left and right slowly in front of Spike. "And you just had it before then, out of coincidence. You kept dashing off to work with them on 'pirate stuff' like 'sewing'." She raised her brows. "Do I have that right?"

Spike took a half-step back. "I really did learn how to sew!" he hotly defended before the bluster escaped him with a sigh. "And how to swing this..."

Twilight shook her head. "No #1 assistant of mine is going to hurt somepony like that."

"Twilight... I've..." He clasped his hands together. "I mean, I've already kinda... killed a person before."

Twilight blinked, going numb. "What?"

Moll thrust her head just ahead of Twilight. "As charming as this family squabble is, this hardly seems to be the time or place for it." She gestured with little flicks of her head at other grizzled sorts that were enjoying the show. "How about we retire somewhere a little more... private?"

As the group began to move, Mullet moved beside Spike. "Were you kidding, boy? I didn't figure you for the type."

Spike shrugged softly. "I mean... I didn't mean to, at the time, but a lot of things were going on, and I am a dragon, and fire only does so many things to people."

Mullet winced at the idea. Death by fire was not one of the more pleasant ways to meet one's maker. "And ye never brought it up with Twilight." He looked ahead to the stiff steps Twilight was taking. "I thought you were pretty close."

"I am! I mean, we are! It's just..." He worried his fingers together as he waddled ahead. "It was in the heat of the moment... I just kinda tried to forget about it..."

Mullet lowered a hand to Spike's shoulder, gripping the young reptile firmly. "All the more reason ye shouldn't. It's a big deal, that first time. One never forgets it. Good or bad, one never forgets it."

Spike replied with a shaking nod before hurrying ahead, Mullet's hand slipping free. He rushed up to Twilight's side. "I'm, uh... sorry..."

"What about?" asked Twilight in a quiet voice, walking forward in those oddly stiff steps.

"For not saying anything..." He glanced away and back at Twilight. "It was to save you, both times. You're important, you know, to more than Equestria..."

Twilight cocked a brow. "Mmm?" She didn't look over though, eyes forward, steps awkward.

"I know we have our... fights once in a while, but... you're the most important pony I know. I mean, to me." He put a hand on his chest as he walked. "I love you, Twilight. Uh, not like... that... you know... like family. You're..."

Twilight reached over and pulled him closer, her other three legs walking, still stiff. "I need time, Spike, but... I love you too."

He smiled at that, and went quiet, just walking along with her and giving her time to process things.

Celaeno advanced, leaving the pony and dragon to one another's company. She closed the distance with Moll. "Look, she may be distracted at the moment, but I'm not. If you're thinking you can--"

Moll held up a hoof. "Hold that thought. I'm not trying to foalnap your princess, already said that. She's far too cute, like a foal, really. Just the idea that her little dragon met the world and didn't back down has her in knots." She shook her head a little. "We're going to my ship. We'll find answers there."

"Your ship?!" hissed out the parrot captain in a harsh whisper. "I don't make it a habit to visit other people's ships unless I'm plundering or I know them very well. Which category are you falling under?"

Moll laughed, taking a powerful little hop and clacking her booted hooves together mid-air in an equine skip. "One or the other, I suppose, but the more we're together, my well-seasoned lass, the more ye get to know me. Maybe you'll leave me with my boots when you're done?"

"No promises." Celaeno had a wry smile though, the angry tension seeming to ebb between the two sea-salts. "Just don't mess with our passengers."

"Can't promise that." Moll peeked over her shoulder at Twilight and Spike. "Pretty sure I'll be rocking both their worlds, just a little. They'll be fine though, that I feel confident enough about."

They cut a path through the docks. Moll's ship was not stationed near Celaeno's, taking about half an hour of hiking to reach. No other pirates attempted to make good on their royal cargo, though some eyes followed the two, alicorn and her dragon companion, as the group passed them by.

A loud bark greeted them as they approached the fine-looking vessel. From its deck waved a familiar canine. "Captain! Celly! And you're not tearing each other apart!" The mastiff sounded quite happy for every portion of his statement. "Let me get the plank down." He quickly threw the plank over the side and it slammed down against the dock, ready for use.

Mullet looked slightly suspicious. "Too scared to keep your plank down?" He crossed his arms, but approached regardless.

Celaeno cast a glance aside at her fellow captain. "That doesn't match the bravado I've seen so far." Like Mullet, she boarded despite her words.

Twilight stopped and looked to Spike silently a moment. "Do you still want a ride?"

Spike heard the uncertainty in her voice and became doubtful himself. Was that question a test? "I'll never turn one down," he decided out loud with a smile, a thumb thrusting upwards. He mounted his equine caretaker and gave her a firm hug around the neck.

Twilight smiled gently before starting to ascend the plank. "We'll need to talk... But you're still Spike, Spike."

That confirmation seemed enough for the both of them, and the ascended onto the ship without awkward steps. The deck of the ship had six souls wandering around, but they looked more bored than busy. Only one seemed to be mid-task, hurrying below deck with a tray of something.

Henry slapped Moll's shoulder once she was close enough. "Welcome back, Captain."

Moll threw her head back at the plank as she stepped off of it. "Get that back up. Our guest nice and snug?"

"Demanding, but in one piece." Henry grabbed the plank and hefted it up with a tremendous heave, slowly turning before he let it fall to the deck. "He said to tell you he wanted to talk to you."

"That makes this fast." Moll nodded before looking to the guests on the deck, Twilight and the other. "You were looking for Greybeard, were you not?"

Twilight lifted an ear, then the other. "You aren't...?"

Celaeno waved at the pony. "She clearly is. How did you end up with Greybeard?!"

Moll folded one leg over the other as she dipped in a formal bow. "By not being a horse's back end and treating the old coot just right. It's amazing what ye can get by just being polite."

Henry laughed at the display. "And people wonder why I like it on this ship. We have him, but it's up to him who he sees or not, we promised him that. We can tell him you want to talk."

Moll nodded towards his crewdog. "Exactly so. Any particular message ye want us to pass towards him?"

Celaeno gestured a hand at Twilight. "Tell him the literal Princess of Friendship is here and would be delighted to shake, er, hooves with him. If that doesn't get him to at least see her, not sure what else would. Not like anyone with that title is likely out for blood."

Twilight took a sudden step forward, Spike wobbling atop her from the abrupt motion. "Be sure to mention I'm here as a friendly envoy, from Equestria."

Spike slid down from Twilight, watching Moll trot towards the stairs heading into the holds. "Do you think he'll want to talk to us?"

Twilight nodded. "I'm not sure what we'll learn, but we'll at least talk."

Author's Note

The plot, it advances! What sort of typos will the old Pirate Lord wield against our protagonists?!

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8 - Greybeard

They didn't have to wait long, making the smallest of talks with the pirates of the new ship.

Henry came jogging back up the stairs and waved at them without even fully ascending. "This way! He said to come."

Twilight turned, Spike still on her back. She did not normally carry him when they weren't trying to get somewhere, and even then, only when speed was a concern or Spike was especially tired. Spike didn't complain, gently holding Twilight from above as she walked to join Henry.

Celaeno moved to accompany them, but Henry put up a hand. "No offense, Celly. Ye know we're pals, but ole' Grey said he'd see her." He jabbed a thumb at Twilight as she walked past. "Not you. We'll take care of them, promise it."

Mullet shrugged from where he leaned against the railing of the deck. "Figured."

She snarled softly. "See that you do. It'd be terribly... impolite if we don't get her with every feather still attached."

Twilight descended the stairs in a rapid clip-clop. It was a touch gloomier, light provided by spaced out flickering lanterns. She could hear the gentle sway of the boat beneath them and the little groans of the wood as it was rocked by the lapping motions of the sea.

Ahead of her, she could see two sets of doors on either side of the hallway, and one last door at the end of the hallway. Henry came charging up behind them, moving right past with surprising grace for his lumbering motions. The dog was at the second door to the right in a moment and waved at the closed door. "He's right in here, ye ladyship."

Spike leaned in closer to one of Twilight's fuzzy ears. "Do you think he'll be a big thing, or a little thing?"

Twilight advanced at an easy walk, an ear turned back towards Spike. "My bit's on a bipedal Granny Smith, stallion edition of course."

Spike mused on that and snorted softly. "Whoever they are, they kept this island going. We should, uh, you know, show respect?"

"I will conduct myself properly," said Twilight with a hint of defensiveness. "It wouldn't do for a princess to misbehave in front of a foreign power." She had arrived at the door and reached up a hoof. "Should we knock?" that last question was directed at Henry, who still stood beside the door.

"It's polite," he agreed. "Have a good chat."

With two firm clops, Twilight tapped at the door. From within, a voice grunted, "I'zat the princess? If it's anyone else, go fly a kite!"

Twilight glanced over at Henry before she grasped with her magic at the doorknob and turned it, pushing the door inwards. "Hello," she called with a smile. "I'm Princess T--"

A figure dropped from the rafters, a rapier clutched in a gnarled old hand. With a quick forward stab, its metal shoved at Twilight's snout, her eyes wide with surprise. It missed her, sliding along close enough to clip off a line of her fur and leave a mild forming welt.

Twilight fell backwards in shock, flopping to her haunches. Spike slid back in a heap from the sudden moved position of his mount, flopping out across the ground with a clatter as his still-sheathed blade struck the floor.

The figure stepped forward, rapier still held up and ready. "You think just because I have more years, I'm not ready for a surprise?" He looked like a chipmunk, his bushy tail twitching behind him as he fixed his black eyes on Twilight. "Mmm, if you're a princess, where's your crown?"

Henry reached around the corner, his hand going through the doorway and grabbing the rapier right in the center of its length. "These are your guests," he cautioned, mostly hidden as he was.

Twilight scrambled up to her hooves awkwardly. "I didn't mean to surprise you, mister... greybeard?"

Spike was up just as quickly, but his eyes were on Henry's clenched hand. "Um... that has to... hurt?"

Greybeard pulled his weapon free in a smooth motion, though blood ran along a good potion of his rapier. "The big idiot knows what he gets when he grabs a sword like that." He gave the rapier a firm shake, dislodging some of the mess as his tail flicked agitatedly. "Still, I don't know him for lying, he's too simple for that. Princess Twilight Sparkle, come in."

Henry withdrew his bleeding paw with only a low grumbling of his pain. Twilight glanced at him before her eyes returned to Greybeard. "We come as peaceful representatives of Equestria. There's no need for swords."

"I'll give up me blade about when they pry it from me, dead and cold as the sea we sail." He sheathed the blade in a quick motion and turned away, almost striking Twilight with the great fluffy mass of his tail. "Now then, what's on your pretty little mind?"

Twilight and Spike both advanced into the room with unsure steps. Twilight took the lead. "Nice place..." It wasn't really a very nice place. There was a hanging cot to sleep from, a painting of some great sea beast up on the right wall, and a few books on a desk that looked bolted to the floor and wall. "Do you greet all of your guests so..."

"Violently," finished Spike with an awkward grin.

Greybeard hopped up onto his cot and sprawled across it, facing his guests. "Ye don't get to be in charge this long if you ain't careful. Henry! Close the blasted door." He nodded towards the door as it closed. "As I was sayin'... Welcome to me island. You come all the way here just to find me?"

Spike raised a finger. "Um, excuse me, but quick question. They call you Greybeard... but I see no beard."

The chipmunk raised a hand to his furry chin. "Ye can't see I'm going grey down here? No matter. It's the name they gave me, and I'm stuck with it."

Twilight took another timid step forward. "It's nice to meet you. I heard there was a nation of pirates, and thought it would be prudent for Equestria to establish friendly relations."

He hiked a fuzzy brow high. "Ye heard there were pirates, and the first thing in your head was 'I better make friends with those?' Ha, well, guess that's how a princess of friendship would work."

Spike nervously laughed out, "Well, yeah, that is--"

"--That's enough, Spike." Twilight rolled her eyes as she sat down. "I hear there's a bit of... trouble."

"There shouldn't be." Greybears waved a hand dismissively. "I told them how to find a new lord. It ain't me problem that none of them are doing it."

Twilight tilted her head slightly, glancing at where a window should have been, but wasn't. A lantern hung in its place, dispelling the darkness partially. "What way is that?"

He rolled up, legs dangling off the side of his cot. "They just have to find me hat. I hid it. Someone finds it, brings it to me, done deal! The fact that I hid it on a pile of gold to get them started should make it all the sweeter. You'd think an island full of pirates would be scouring the place lookin' for it, but are they? Nope. They're ready to throw me overboard for demandin' they show a little effort."

Spike raised a hand high, waving at the world at large. "That doesn't make any sense! Why are they acting like you're supposed to just pick someone?"

"Well, I will." Greybeard nodded slowly. "Once they bring me my hat."

Twilight leaned forward, an idea burning in her eyes. "Sir, have you actually told anyone that your hat is hidden?"

"What? No! That's half the challenge." He crossed his arms over his chest, looking put out. "They should remember the hat. It was quite large and kinda part of my whole image. Not a single soul's noticed! It hurts..." He gave a sullen kick at the air. "You think people know you..."

Spike pointed at where a hat should be. "How can anyone know your hat is missing if you're hiding?"

Greybeard waved the observation away. "That's their problem, not mine. Now then, it's been a while since I had a princess over." He smiled at Twilight. "Long overdue I got myself a knighthood for all my adventures."

Twilight's right ear went flat. "I would have to consult with Princess Celestia before I gave away a title."

"But did--"

Twilight stepped casually on Spike's foot to silence him. "Still, it is nice to meet you, Sir Greybeard. You're welcome to visit Equestria, if you ever get the urge."

"May take you up on that." He flopped back onto his cot. "Lousy ingrates, I give them a fine place for years and this is the thanks they offer."

Twilight took a step back, gesturing towards the exit with tosses of her head. "Hopefully they'll come around and realize how much you've done for them."

"I can hope," grunted out Greybeard, arms folded on his belly and looking ready to take a nap.

Spike and Twilight made good their escape into the hallway. Henry wasn't there. Spike hiked a thumb at the closed door they had just fled through. "Can you believe that?"

Twilight did not reply with words, instead gesturing with a toss towards her back. Spike got the idea and clambered up just in time for her to trot away energetically towards the exit. They ascended into the light of day, where Celaeno and Mullet were discussing something in hushed words. The other pirates looked busy doing what they usually did.

She went directly for the ones they knew. "Captain, Mullet. We've finished our meeting."

Celaeno's expression turned to a grin, but fell just as quickly. "What'd they do to you?" She leveled a finger with Twilight's new mark. "I'll rip them apart!"

Twilight quickly raised a hoof. "No, no... we should... go."

"No one treats a guest of mine like this," she fumed with building anger. "Where'd Moll run off to?!" Moll was nowhere in sight.

Twilight lifted into the air on her wings. "We can discuss this somewhere else," she hissed out. "We really should go..."

"I don't think so," came a new voice. A heavy-set earth pony trotted into view. "Captain says the plank stays up until she gives other commands."

Spike hiked a thumb at the dock with a cocky smile. "Well, alright. We're still leaving."

Twilight surged ahead, forcing Spike to grab on for dear life with her abrupt motion. The lack of a plank could do little to prevent the winged princess from landing gently on the dock below.

The pony fixed Celaeno and Mullet with a hard look. "Neither of you have wings... that work." He added the second bit as he remembered that they were parrots.

Mullet shrugged his shoulders with a bored expression. "Funny thing about that. These wings work just fine. Watch." He tipped over backwards and fell from the ship into the embrace of the sea below, Celaeno hitting it just a moment later with a mighty splash.

Neither got to swim for long as Twilight grabbed them with great heaves, her body tense and shaking under the load of lifting the both of them with her magic. They wobbled as they moved, but were pulled to shore and relative safety. The moment she could let them go safely, she did, and let out a might gasp of air.

She had been holding water with them, and it splashed out across the docks where they landed. Celaeno was on her feet quickly. "Thanks for the assist, Princess. I think you've got the right of it. Let's get out of here. Mullet, let's go."

"Aye aye." He saluted sharple and got to walking, wetly, back towards where they had left their ship in the first place.

As they went Celaeno glanced aside at Twilight and Spike. "I gather you've both got some news to share, as soon as it's safe to do so."

Author's Note

The quest! It took this long to get the quest, but we have it now! There was a typo or two in Greybeard's plan, I think.

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9 - For Want of a Hat

They hurried through the dockside. Twilight took flight shortly and coasted over the majority of the crowd. Those who flew seemed more interested in avoiding any contact with others, leaving her way clear.

As if to demonstrate what happened when that failed, two soaring pirates bumped shoulder to shoulder, and were thrown wildly from the impact into the crowd below. Spike watched the sudden descent until they vanished into the crowd, though one seemed to recover at the last minute and burst back into the air. "Huh, that doesn't work so well when you're in the air, huh?"

"Momentum," spoke Twilight in a single word as if it should explain everything. "I'll explain it later."

Spike thrust a finger ahead, arm going above and to the left of Twilight's head. "Ship ahoy!"

"Got it." She veered smoothly towards it. "Do you see Celaeno and Mullet?"

"Um..." His eyes swept over the streets they were soaring over. "Not really. We should assume they'll get there."

"Yeah..." Twilight went quiet until they approached the deck. Some of the tension freed from her as she came in for a landing. "Here we are, in one piece."

Boyle, the largest member of the crew, approached, a hand and a hook at his hips. "We didn't expect you back before the captain. Everything alright?"

Spike slid free once he heard and felt the clop of hooves on wood. "We're alright, and they're coming."

"Avast that talk," came a familiar voice just before Celaeno's head popped up over the side of the ship, rapidly ascending the plank with the tap-tap of her peg leg, Mullet a moment behind her. "We be already here. Now, time to talk, Twilight."

Mullet huffed for breath, holding up one finger as he folded over. "Just... one moment... That was a good sprint."

"You can listen while she talks." Celaeno gestured at Twilight. "Go on. What'd you find that sent you running with your tail tucked?"

Twilight extended a wing in the direction they had come. "We found the Pirate Lord, Greybeard. As it turns out--"

"--He just wants someone to find his stupid hat," cut in Spike.

Twilight nodded curtly. "Well-enough said. The one that presents the hat to Greybeard first wins the island."

"And!" Spike thrust a finger straight up. "It's sitting on a big pile of gold."

Celaeno's expression brightened. "Now you're talking my language. Well, you wanted to lend a helping hoof to the island, didn't you, Princess? Now's your chance to help determine who the next Pirate Lord will be. The other princesses will be green with envy at the political moving you're doing."

Twilight's ears perked up. "I hadn't thought of that... True or not, it is obvious that the pirates are quite unhappy not having a lord, so it would behoove us to address that if we can. Do you have any idea where Greybeard may have hidden his hat where no one would have found it by now?"

"Squawk!" Squabble landed in the circle of pirates. The entire crew had formed during the conversation.

Lix Spittle fixed her eyes on Squabble. "What's that?"

"Squawk!"

"Yeah? That won't help us." She waved his noises away. "If he's not changed, it's probably in one of the caves."

Celaeno nodded in agreement. "If it was on the surface, it'd already be found. Most pirates don't go into the caves often. There isn't much down there worth the trouble."

Mullet pushed off his legs back into a full standing position. "Well then... what are we waiting for? First pirate's the winner."

Celaeno raised a finger before sweeping it over the circle. "I want one thing perfectly clear. We're a team, no matter how dazzling the prize. No double-scheming. We find it, we all enjoy the reward. We got enough enemies off of this ship t'worry about before adding our ship-mates to the number."

Boyle clapped a hand against the hard metal of his hook. "I'm with you, Captain."

Lix thrust up a balled fist. "As if you had to remind me!"

"Squawk!"

Mullet nodded firmly. "Glad that's settled. Just one thing, Captain. We still can't go abandoning the ship here in this port of all places."

"Too true." She frowned. "Well, you got to come with us last time, Mullet. I'm leaving you behind this time. Boyle, you up for some treasure hunting?"

"Aye aye, Captain." He stepped forward, rolling his massive shoulders as he went.

Spike took a quick hop forward. "And us, of course."

"Of course nothing," argued Celaeno with a frown. "We appreciate the intel, but galavanting around the caves looking for that blighter's hat isn't what paid passengers are supposed to be doing."

Twilight put a leg around Spike, drawing him close. "No, but it is what friends should do. As your friend, we would be delighted to help you. Besides, I want to see these caves."

Celaeno sighed softly. "Right right. Look, we don't have time for arguing. Moll's already hunting for the thing, and if she gets it first, then we lose." She turned back for the plank. "Move out!"

Twilight grabbed Spike in her magic and plopped him down on her back as she got to trotting. The four treasure hunters disembarked in solidarity.

Lix watched them go and huffed. "When do I get a chance for some excitement?"

"Squawk."

"Not helpful." She rolled her eyes as she turned away from the view of the plank. "Just because cooking's me specialty doesn't make me not a crewmember."

"Squawk." He bobbled from talon to talon, gesturing oddly with his hands.

"Yeah yeah. That was a good one." She patted him on the shoulder. "Thanks for caring."

The sound of dripping water hitting a puddle echoed gently through the tunnel they had just started down. Twilight looked around the slick-looking walls. The stone was a pale-blue in the low light offered by her shining horn. "Are we sure this is the right way?"

"Nope." Celaeno marched past Twilight. "But we don't have better clues, so we start looking until we find it."

Spike looked around from on top of Twilight, ducking just in time as a low-hanging rock threatened to knock him free of her. "We may be looking for a while."

Boyle took up the rear, brushing aside the smaller stalactites that dared to be in his way. "Then that's what we do."

The tunnel opened up into a great cavern that fell to darkness quickly. The tunnel itself became a ledge that ran along the wall in a narrow line. They advanced onto it, carefully shuffling along. Celaeno peeked back at Twilight, brow raised. "Princess, you do have wings."

"Oh, right!" She colored as she pushed away from the wall and hovered there. "I forget sometimes... I wasn't born with these, you know." Her eyes rolled as she thought. "Happens to Daring Do all the time, and she was born with them, hmm."

Spike poked the back of her head gently. "Focus."

"Right right." She flapped along gently alongside the two still shimmying along the narrow ledge. "Spike, while we're here... how did, you know... How did it happen?"

Spike tensed a moment, his claws gripping Twilight all the tighter. "W-well... you were captured by the Storm King, and we were fighting our way through Canterlot to get to you."

Mullet nodded. "I remember that. That was quite a show, wasn't it?"

"Yeah..." Spike squirmed. "Just on the steps of the castle, there were so many of those big guards. Capper grabbed me and told me to breathe fire when he squeezed. I wasn't really thinking about it. I was scared! I mean... it was... yeah..." His arms went limp with shame. "So, uh, yeah, I kinda went along, and he pointed me right at the guards and... we started setting them on fire."

Twilight peered over her shoulder at Spike. She reached with her magic to gently brush away a few tears, her face more of a scowl. "Spike... That wasn't your fault."

"What? How? I was the one doing it!" He put a claw on his chest. "How can that not be my fault?"

"Capper is an adult, you... are a beloved but immature dragon." She squeezed him in her magic gently. "I mean, you are very mature, for your age, but you're not an adult. You were in a crisis situation, and did what an adult told you to do. He deserves this blame, not you." She perked an ear. "How did you end up facing them alone anyway?"

"Oh, uh, the other girls were there."

"What!?" Twilight almost threw Spike clear in her mighty twitch. "Okay, okay, calm down..." She began the breathing exercises taught to her by her foalsitter and sister-in-law. "I'll... discuss this with them, later. For now, you are... Spike, you won't do that again, right?"

Spike shook his head violently, hugging tight to Twilight's back. "I'm sorry!"

"Then I forgive you. You have great power, being a dragon. But you have a heart, and a mind. You know what can hurt people, and you will avoid making that mistake again." She grunted softly as she flew ahead a little. "That Capper," she grumbled under her breath.

Celaeno stopped as she withdrew her peg leg from where the ledge had given away under it. "Not to interrupt, but do you see anything up there?" She set down her leg carefully beyond the break and slid forward.

"Oh, right." Twilight shook her head free of the distracting thoughts and cast out the light of her magic light a spotlight, sweeping it slowly around. "I see another tunnel up ahead."

"What about down?" asked Spike, pointing into the gloom beneath them.

Twilight turned her horn that way, squinting as she followed with her eyes along the jagged wall. "One moment, I'll be right back." She dipped down and began to circle deeper into the darkness. They found a waterfall, burbling an easy stream of water out into a much larger pool of water. It was more of an underground lake. "Fascinating..."

Spike reached for Twilight's head and pulled it up and to the right. "Look!"

With her light and eyes focused on it, it became clear that there was a ship down there, an old one, crashed up against some rocks, a hole clearly visible in its hull. Moss and barnacles dotted its surface, implying it hadn't moved in some time. Twilight giggled with nervous excitement. "Now that looks like somewhere you might hide a hat, or at least it's worth investigating."

Spike and Twilight shared a nod before she ascended towards the two who were just reaching the end of their ridge. "We need to go down." She pointed into the gloom. "It's a long drop, about.... Too far to jump."

Celaeno crossed her arms once she was on solid ground. "That's good, really, but how do we get down there?" She reached out a hand and helped Boyle take the last step to security. "Do you figure this tunnel here winds down there?"

Spike shrugged. "Couldn't say for sure. Twilight, can you get them down, you know, with some magic?"

Twilight's nose wrinkled. "One at a time would be better." She wrapped Boyle in her magic and things grew darker, with only the glow of her magic around Boyle to see by. "Ready?"

Boyle saluted even as he lifted from the ground in her power. "No time to lose."

Celaeno made a shooing motion at the lot of them. "Get going and grab me. Moll may have already found it if it's that easy to find. I doubt Greybeard made it that easy, but who knows, the codger's pretty senile from the sound of it."

Twilight nodded once before she dived, carrying both of the males into the depths of the cavern on wings and magic. As the magic illuminated the top of the lake, Boyle whistled appreciatively. "That's a mighty big fish."

Spike followed where he was pointing and saw it, a many-fanged huge monstrosity, swimming towards them purposefully. "Uh, Twi? Can we not be here anymore?"

Author's Note

What's a little fish between two friends? Have no fear, Twilight has ten plans prepared, and she checked for typos. Also, two updates in a row! This story got voted on the patreon for more updating!

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10 - Always a Bigger

Twilight lowered her head and hastened her wings, powering over the water towards the underground beach she could see. The waters churned violently as the great behemoth of a fish lifted free of the dark surface. With a piercing screech, it opened its mouth wide, revealing more rows of teeth than seemed strictly required.

Boyle drew his sword and swung it in a powerful two-handed arc, his voice raised in a reply as if to match the beast's shriek. His sword cleaved through a tooth and chipped a second, but it was not much of an injury, all things considered.

Spike was also doing his best to match the volume, though he was screaming more than giving a war cry.

Twilight's voice rose to join the chorus as she veered sharply to the right, narrowly avoiding the leaping swallow of the overgrown fish. "Hold on!"

There was nothing to hold onto for Boyle, though Spike was clinging to Twilight firmly. The bird's sword wobbled dangerously along with the rest of him, but his eyes were on the fish's passing as it crashed back into the black depths. "Yar har, that was some mighty fine flying, but can we get t'ground already?"

Spike let out a little nervous laugh. "You've got pirates wishing to be on dry land."

"Ha ha," said Twilight, dry wryness clinging to each noise. "Did it give up?" She glanced over her shoulder just in time for the water beneath her to burst free. The fish was attacking from a new angle. "Nope!" She had to veer away from the precious land to avoid being swallowed whole by it, its foul breath wafting over them from how close it was.

Boyle brought down his blade as it soared past him. He barely cut through its tough scales, but he grunted with pride at the sign of his work. A faint line spread through the water after the fish crashed back into it. It was bleeding. He doubted it would be the end of the creature, but at least he had struck it hard enough to feel.

Twilight twisted around, aligning herself with the shore. "We're almost there, if it doesn't--" She didn't get to finish her words, the fish suddenly emerging from ahead of her, jumping at her with it many teeth. "How do you move so fast!?" she shouted at the beast angrily. Its teeth closed as Twilight yanked Boyle close and all three vanished, teleporting away just a short distance, but it was enough to avoid its snapping jaws.

Boyle pulled himself up onto Twilight, just ahead of Spike. "Can we make it?"

"I'll try, just hold on!"

Spike shuffled back to make room, but there wasn't a lot of space to do that with. Twilight was ill-built to support a bird of Boyle's impressive physique. "Um, well you'd better do it fast."

Twilight cringed away from where the water went white, but no fish surged free. She blinked, confused. "Is it... feinting?"

Boyle slid his blade away with a sudden laugh. "Our problem's solved, Princess."

"It... is?" She descended gently to the beach and half-collapsed. "Off, please."

Spike hopped free, Boyle stepping off a moment later. Spike's eyes were on the water. "Woah..." The fish that had chased them was being swallowed up by an even larger fish, gone in one more bite that put its to shame. "Huh, well, that works... I wonder if the bigger one's gonna be a problem?"

Twilight climbed back to her hooves, shaking herself. "We'll have to hope it won't. I have to get Celaeno." She stretched her wings wide, still huffing. "That was quite a trip."

Spike gave an emphatic double thumbs up. "You were great. And you, Boyle. You saved us!"

"He did?" Twilight turned to Boyle. "What did you do?"

Spike hiked a thumb at Boyle's blade. "He cut it, even while he was just floating there."

Boyle crossed his arms. "I think the blood drew the bigger fish. Princess, please get the captain."

"Yes, yes, right..." She lifted into the air gently. "I'll be right back, you two stay here."

Spike waved as she vanished back into the dark, becoming little more than a mote of light rising rapidly. "Huh, that was some fight. You weren't even scared."

"Don't be so hasty." Boyle waved his hook at Spike lightly. "I was scared for me life."

Spike blinked. "What? You didn't even hesitate."

"A brave person is a scared person that acts anyway." He cracked a little smile. "Or a fool, they're easy to confuse. I assure ye, I was plenty scared of that fish."

Spike put a hand behind his head. "Huh, guess... that makes sense. I've, uh, you know, done things when I was scared before."

The larger pat the shoulder of the smaller. "You're brave enough, Spike. Don't try to forget what fear is, it's important; keeps you alive."

The sound of wings had them looking to see Twilight descending with Celaeno held firmly in her magic. "We're back," cheerfully called the princess as she set the captain down on her feet. "From here we can walk to the boat without any issues."

Celaeno took the first step. "Looks like the hole's right where we can reach it. Sooner we go, sooner the island is ours." She swatted Boyle on the way past him. "What has your feathers on edge?"

Spike peered at him as they began their hike. Boyle didn't look any different in his eyes. Had he been startled?

They advanced as a group, the ripped hole of the ship coming into better view. Seated at the edge, where rock met old wood, was a familiar pony. Moll was seated on her haunches, watching them with a leisurely expression. She had no weapon drawn.

Celaeno huffed under her breath as she hastened her step. "Here to make sure there's no competition?!"

"Actually, no." Moll glanced into the darkness of the ship. "Just weighing the odds."

Twilight waved a hoof up and down at Moll. "Why aren't you grabbing the hat?"

"Love to, really, I would lass." She stood up. "This boat's full of more traps and other things than I care to wrestle with, especially alone. Now... if ye wish to go together, I might be seeing the value in that."

Spike hiked a brow. "Dude, uh, you tried to trap us on your ship."

"Poorly," added Celaeno. "Your crew's no good at a proper abduction. Tell us why we shouldn't kick you into the water and let the fish have you?"

"Don't be too hasty." She smiled easily. "I know what's ahead, I just need a few helping hands. I mean, I have two, but a couple extra would be nice."

Spike squinted at Moll. "You don't have hands."

"I do." Mastiff reached out from behind a rock, grabbing Spike's shoulder and getting a squeak of surprise from him. "Worry not, I not be here to fight with ye, if'n you'll listen to the good captain."

Moll nodded. "Too right. We all want what's in there. Treasure, prestige, mostly treasure." She turned for the boat. "As it turns, coins and baubles are easy enough to split among helping hands."

Celaeno raised a finger to point at the top of her head. "There's precisely one hat."

"Keep it." Moll waved the thought away. "If you want to run this island, good luck to ye. Not the life I'm aiming for. Now, see, a few piles of coin? I can make a pretty little way with that, me and my crew." She looked at Celaeno evenly. "I bet you want much the same. Way I see it, we kept the old blighter safe and sound, and Twilight here, darling lass she is, got him to spill the goods. We're in this, together."

Celaeno glanced back at her companions. "Easy to say, Moll, but there's only so much honor between pirates when there's loot to be had, isn't there?"

Moll rolled a hoof in the air. "Let's not be silly about this. We're both reasonable adults. Twilight has been the key to this, her and her little dragon friend. We'll need them both, and I already know they won't go anywhere without you, so let's go, together." She turned away to the ship. "The way I see it, yer hardly a pirate anyway." Celaeno tensed. "Don't take that the wrong way, just mean yer a bit more trustworthy than some random other captain. Besies..."

Moll looked over her shoulder at Twilight specifically. "I imagine a promise from ye is binding."

Twilight huffed as she stepped forward. "If I have a reason to. We're here to help all the people of this island. They very clearly want to have a new lord, and if I can help address that, I will."

Moll snorted softly. "Oh, will ye be their lord? That would be quite a sight. I'd love to see it, pony princess of friendship, also Pirate Lord? We're wasting time, we have a new lord to crown!"She began to trot into the ship, swallowed up in the darkness of it. Mastiff was a few steps behind, hurrying to catch up.

Celaeno turned to Twilight. "Does she sound trustworthy to you?"

Spike frowned softly. "Kinda wish Applejack was here, but, uh... I don't think she's lying?"

Twilight nodded in agreement as she plucked Spike and put him on her back. "I agree. She wouldn't have waited if she thought she could get it on her own, so she won't be a problem until we get the hat."

Boyle shrugged his broad shoulders. "And then?"

Celaeno took a step forward, crystal peg leg tapping on the stone. "Then we deal with it, good or bad."

As one, they pushed into the old ship. The ground inside was slightly slick and listed dangerously to the side. The way ahead was at a sharp angle that they had to fight for balance and purchase to ascend towards. Moll had, somehow, gotten to the top already and threw a rope down across the water-slick wood towards them. "No traps in this room, we already checked."

Twilight cheated, hovering up towards them as the two people that had hands to make the best of the rope took advantage of that. The ship had broken, split in half. At the top of the incline, it evened out, allowing for easier walking. Twilight took a few steps forward and her hoof came down on a nigh-invisible button with a soft 'click' "What?"

She squealed as she dove out of the way of a jet of flame. Spike fell to the ground, slightly blackened and coughing. He wiped his scales clean of the soot. "Uh, found one." He stood up carefully and held up a hand. "If they're all fire traps, I got this!"

Moll watched Spike stomp forward, finding each button and marking the spot. The plumes of fire did not slow or hurt him as he made quick progress. "I knew I'd picked the right helpers for the task. Princess, ye really should wait until we give the go-ahead. There be many more pitfalls, and we don't want your pretty head removed from the rest of ye before its proper time."

Henry raised a hand to his mouth, shouting to Spike, "Don't go past that door!"

"Alri--" his words were cut off by three jets of fire that struck him at once. The force of the flames knocked him aside, but he was soon back on his feet, dazed, but unharmed. "Woah, that's a big one..."

Twilight shook her head. "I don't even want to know what trap you've found that requires my specific skills."

"Oh, that be easy." Moll smiled brightly at Twilight as she began to advance, following the trail Spike had left behind while avoiding the buttons. "It involves a puzzle that only the smartest of ponies could even have a hope of completing."

Celaeno rolled her eyes. "If you think she'll fall--"

"--Puzzle you say?!" Twilight hopped forward, looking suddenly more interested. "Is it a linguistic cipher of some kind? Maybe..."

Boyle chuckled softly. "Tis a lost cause, Captain."

Author's Note

Two heads are better than one, right? Twilight will be very cross if there is a typo in this riddle.

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11 - Thinking Hard

Twilight and the others caught up with a singed but smiling Spike. He gestured ahead at the open deck ahead of them. "I would have gone ahead," he said as they joined him. "But you said there were traps, and I'm not assuming they're all fire."

Moll nodded appreciatively. "Too right. This next part's protected by another element see. Wind. You don't move in the right pattern, you get blown clear off the deck, into the drink and whatever fishies want a snack."

Celaeno tapped her peg against the floor of the deck, looking out across it towards the door they could see on the other side and the stairs leading up on either end of it towards the higher deck. "We could just fly over it. Twilight's got wings for it. Coulda just skipped the last part."

Mastiff hiked a large thumb ahead. "Don't work so easy. If you don't go through it right, from the start, ye get blown right off."

Twilight reached out a hoof and a wind ruffled at the fur around the hoof, rustling it gently. She drew it back and put it forward at a new angle, more to the right. The wind hastened and she quickly yanked her hoof back. "Fascinating... What do you--"

"--Why do you know this?" cut in Celaeno with a frown. "Any of this." She waved a hand out at the deck. "It's convenient, too convenient. Out with it."

Moll raised a hoof over her mouth. "You doubt me? Me?!" She sidestepped, only to be caught in a sudden severe gust. She skidded along the deck with a laugh as she scrambled, barely getting back into the safe area before she reached the end of things. "Oops."

Twilight released the magic that had helped Moll get back to safety with a little sigh. "Celaeno raises a valid question. How did you come across this knowledge?"

Spike narrowed his eyes, as if that would help him see the invisible bands of wind that made the going tricky. "And how do we get past it?"

"Look, there's a reason ole Greybeard thought to find habor in my dock of all places." Moll glanced aside at Mastiff. "Isn't that right?"

He bobbed his head quickly. "They been friends a long time. He knows Moll good."

"And I know him well," Moll continued. "He's told me about this place before. Moment I knew he had to hide something, it was obvious where he'd hide it. He's told me a lot, when he was too drunk to know better."

Celaeno seemed to relax slightly. "That's just the right combination of straightforward and crooked that I think you're telling it right. So what'd he say about this place?"

"What else? His most valuable treasure's in here, waiting for him to come get it." Moll turned towards the front. "Have to get across here, up to the wheel, then down into the captain's quarters."

Spike frowned. "There are stairs going back down from the top? I didn't see that on either of your ships."

Moll lifted her shoulders emphatically. "Couldn't tell you about that. He was pretty clear about that, down from the wheel. Down from the wheel and ye get what yer after." She rolled a hoof at Twilight. "Now, if you can figure the way forward?"

Twilight's horn began to glow as she conjured sand with a loud pop. With a toss of her head, she threw the sand forward and the wind grabbed it eagerly, sending it flying about in seemingly random patterns. All of them eventually ended with the sand being dropped off the side of the ship, to the dark waters below. "Fascinating..." She conjured a fresh batch and tossed it in a slightly different angle, her eyes tracing the flow while it lasted. "There is... a pattern, mmmm."

Spike looked up into the darkness of the cavern, trying to spy something despite the light fading to nothing not far away from them. "Are there spikes on the ceiling?"

Boyle gestured at Spike. "There's a Spike next to us. That's enough for me."

Spike rolled his eyes. "I meant rocky ones. What if they fall on the ship, or our heads?"

Celeano tapped her crystal hoof. "The way I see it, if there was a big risk of that, there'd already be holes all across this deck. It looks nice and smooth from here."

Boyle's eyes lowered to Twilight. "Any sign of how we push ahead?"

"Mmm," she replied distractedly, hurling out a magic pile of dust to be carried by the wind. "How did Greybeard ever plan to do this? He didn't strike me as nearly agile enough, even if he knew precisely the steps required."

"Well..." Moll cracked a wide smile. "He said that was one of the reasons he didn't come here often. He hated this trap, but he loved that it kept random others from coming in. But! It won't be stopping ye, now will it, royal lass?"

"No matter, I think I understand the pattern. It's refreshingly logical. Did he make it himself?" She reached out with a hoof and set it down beyond the safe zone. Though the wind pushed past her, she wasn't shoved by it. "Follow my steps very precisely."

Celaeno advanced quickly, slipping in behind Twilight, with Spike just behind her. "Is this safe with our differing... heights?" Just to play it safe, she crouched down lower as she went.

Spike lifted his shoulders. "I don't think she's paying attention." Ahead of him, Twilight was watching dust flow before taking another slow step, though her pace was picking up.

Moll skipped into place behind her rival captain. "She's a right clever mare, ain't she? We'll be swimming in gold in no time at all."

The group, their quieter members taking up the rear, progressed. It was no straight line, with Twilight turning entirely around, cutting across the deck, and seemingly turning at random points in an impenetrable zig-zagging. At one point she turned so sharply on herself that she passed within inches of those following her.

Mastiff raised a brow at it, his spittle blowing away on the currents of the wind that surrounded them. "Why don--" He didn't get to finish. When he tried to cut across that precious inch, he was thrown back bodily. Boyle swung an arm and snagged his shirt with his hook, yanking him back into the safe path. "Thanks, matey. I owe ye one!" Boyle gave a thumbs up with his remaining hand.

Celaeno tapped Spike on one of his headfins. "She's pretty smart, isn't she?"

"Yeah, kinda her thing," he replied, pride in his voice. "I hope this is over soon though. I don't like having to walk a tightrope I can't even see."

"Count me in agreement with that."

"Not one of his best ideas, or..." Moll trotted along with a happy smile. "Maybe one of his best? Hard to say exactly, but I think it does the job fairly well."

Twilight reached up and placed a hoof on the stairs leading up towards the wheel. She hurled some dust and it made a mess on the floor in a scattering. "It's safe," she declared with a relieved smile, trotting up easily onto the upper deck. "We've made it!"

The rest hurried up to join her, their clothes, fur, and feathers settling down as the wind lost its grip on them. The steering wheel stood there in silence. The rail that ran along the upper deck was shiny. Boye reached out with a hook and tapped at the shine, causing a metallic 'clink' to echo.

Mastiff nodded with a grin. "Gold. We're already being paid for our efforts."

Celaeno rolled a hand towards the crewdog. "A fine idea, if we can get a whole rail back through that mess. I'd rather find the coins. Now, you said something about 'down from the wheel', wasn't it?"

"Exactly so." Moll sprung forward towards the wheel and began to look it over. "But by the time he got to this part of the story, he was usually too drunk to say much. He'd just go on about 'down from the wheel' like that was saying much." She reared up and put her hooves on the wheel, feeling over its spokes. "Mmm."

Celaeno's beak turned up with building confidence. "I think I understand this one." She advanced on it, brushing Moll aside and taking firm grip of the wheel. "If I was going to do this, I'd have it so..." She turned the wheel to the left in a decisive motion. "I'd spare the ship from shoring up on this here rock as it is." A loud click sounded beneath them.

"Squawk!"

Lix Spittle looked up from the pot she was stirring. "What's bothering you today, Squabs? Y'ain't usually so loud."

Squabble raised a hand, pointing outside, then turned and fled. Lix followed with a grumbling, to find that they had company. "What's a nice looking pony like you doing here all of a sudden?"

Derpy saluted sharply. "Delivery, ma'am!" She set down a sizable box on the deck. "Thanks to the assistance of Squabble--"

"How'd you know his name?" Lix arched a brow at the wall-eyed mare. "You two know each other?"

"Squawk." Squabble bobbed his head in easy agreement.

"We met in Ponyville," continued Derpy, tapping at the box. "I wasn't sure where to bring this, but Squabble told me where I had to go, and he was right! The island of the pirates! I've never been here before... But that's where the package said to go, so I'm glad I found it."

She flashed a bright smile at Squabble. "Thanks."

"Squawk." The two seemed to understand one another easily.

Lix shook her head. "I didn't figure anyone outside this crew understood the noises he made. Huh, well, welcome aboard. Who's the package actually addressed to?" She stepped closer, her eyes on the box curiously. "The captain's not here right this moment, ye see."

Derpy started, as if that was a new idea. She climbed up onto the box and pointed at the address. "The Most Worthy Pirate on the Island of Pirates," she read outloud as her eyes wandered haphazardly over the words. "Oh, hmmm, that's not really... a specific pony..."

"Does it have to be a pony at all?" challenged Lix.

"I suppose not..."

"Squawk."

"You're right, I guess I have to decide..." She sank to her haunches, perched on the box. "Hmm... the best pirate... I saw a lot of pirates. They looked very piratey."

"Squawk."

"You have a point. Appearances do not a pirate make." She pointed a hoof at Lix. "What makes you a great pirate?"

"Me?! Well, I can cook a mean pirate's feast for a hungry crew. I know how to swing from a rope and how to rig a sail. I follow my captain's orders and get the job done." She put her hands at her hips. "I think I'm a fine pirate."

"Mmhmm." Derpy bobbed her head, her eyes jostling around before falling back on their usual patterns. "That's a good pirate, but I need the best pirate."

"Squawk."

"Oh yeah, good point." Derpy tapped at her chin with the flat end of her hoof. "Tell me about your captain. If she's in charge, she must be a really good pirate, right?"

"Too right." Lix nodded. "She's a fine captain and a damned good pirate! Best one I know! She really put the fear into people when we were doing that full-time."

"Full time?" She tilted her head. "She isn't a pirate full time?"

"Well... not exactly?" Lix gave a soft shrug. "Y'see, the Storm bloke came along and ruined a good thing. We smashed him up good, so it's back to sailing the high skies for us." She hiked a thumb at herself. "The captain's in fine form."

"Mmm..." Derpy's eyes narrowed thoughtfully a moment. "I should interview a few more pirates, to be sure. Can you keep an eye on this box for now?" She was looking at Squabble.

"Squawk." He put a hand on the box as he nodded, an agreement reached.

Author's Note

We're treasure hunting, why are we looking at Derpy? Is this a typo? Sorry for not updating this on time, I was at a convention and forgot to bring a keyboard, oops!

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12 - Elemental Gauntlet

The entire deck began to sink down into the ship. A click similar to the first announced a sudden blade swinging out just shy of Spike's short stature. "Woah!"

A pillar of stone burst free just as Twilight jumped aside, narrowly avoiding being smashed.

Celaeno was on guard, but none of the hazards that sprung out at them quite reached her. Moll jumped on her back, getting a squawk of dismay, but was forced free almost as quickly as a rotating blade thrust out with just enough room for Celaeno and no other.

A sharp spear thrust out and shattered as it hit a projected field of force, sparing Twilight from what could have been a terrible wound. "I hope we get where we're going soon."

Mastiff caught a swinging weight, but it carried him despite his effort, slamming him against the opposing wall. "Damn it all..." Moll bounced up and kicked the weight away from her friend. "Thanks, Captain."

With a sharp shudder, the platform stopped, leaving the group intact, if breathing hard. Celaeno still stood where she started. "Huh, guess this is made for captains."

Moll broke into a laugh. "It's a tough path, following a captain. Sometimes they go gettin' people hurt."

Spike counted on his fingers. "Well, pretty sure that was earth."

Twilight nodded at him as she looked around. "That leaves just one, unless just getting here was the test of water. Those fish were an appreciable threat." She pointed at a door in the wooden and round wall. "Only one way to find out."

Moll squinted as she walked towards the door. "Huh, that puts it in a new light. 'Got the elements to protect me booty!' he used to say, proud as can be. Makes sense..."

Through the door was a small empty room with a single chest. The chest was made of polished wood with a big metal keyhole.

Twilight glanced at Moll. "Did he say anything about this?"

"Um... no?" Moll trotted forward towards the box and circled it, eyeing it carefully. The others came in, crowding around the room rather than loitering where dangerous things could still theoretically spring from the walls. "Well, may as well see if it's locked or not..." Moll reached out a hoof.

Celaeno grabbed the outreached hoof just shy of its target. "That's quite far enough. You know that thing's probably trapped."

Moll wobbled her other forehoof. "Of course it is, but if we don't get past it, we aren't getting the treasure, are we?"

"Boyle." Celaeno gestured with her free hand. "Check it."

Boyle saluted with his metal hook before crouching down beside the chest. He peered into the darkness. "Mmm." He tapped at the metal with his hook, then along the wood. "Mmm."

Spike raised a brow. "I didn't know Boyle could pick a lock."

Celaeno released Moll's hoof and crossed her arms. "Being a pirate is a good excuse to learn a lot of useful skills at times."

"Aye." Boyle tapped softly before slipping the hook into the darkness, feeling around slowly and carefully. "Here we are..." He trailed out from whatever he found to around the chest, then tilted it just faintly. "Mechanism, looks like it holds something in the room."

Celaeno nodded softly. "Alright. Can you stop it from going off?"

"Already on it, Captain." He tied off the tiny string so it couldn't go through the tunnel it was meant to. "Safe."

Spike rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Now I almost want to know what it did."

Twilight shook her head as her magic took hold of the top of the chest. "I prefer not being in danger, in this case. Thank you, Boyle. Can I open it now?"

Boyle looked to Celaeno, who nodded. He gave a thumbs up. "Go ahead."

Twilight pulled the chest open, revealing what was inside. They all leaned forward, gazing with wonder.

Derpy fluttered along the crowded lanes of sailors, looking from one to the next frantically. "Excuse me," she called out to a stalking cat with a box on his head. "Do you have a moment?"

"No."

"Oh... okay..." Derpy landed on a wooden post, frowning a little. She spied a little ferret, a young thing. She hopped down in front of the little pirate. "Hello! Can I ask a few questions?"

The ferret tilted his head one way and the other. "Captain says I shouldn't talk to strangers."

Derpy perked an ear, realizing the ferret was younger than she had originally thought. "I'm not a stranger," she said in a cheerful tone. "I'm Derpy Whooves, a mailmare."

"Oh..." The ferret squinted at Derpy. "Do you have a letter for me?"

"Maybe! Can you tell me what makes you a great pirate?" She smiled as brightly as she could, hoping against hope.

"I eat my greens," reported the young pirate proudly. "When I'm an adult, I'll get to swing from the rigging!"

"I bet you'll be really good at it," agreed Derpy. "I'd better keep looking, thanks."

She departed with a shared wave and came down on a new fence. "Excuse me."

A huge bison of a pirate turned to her. "Yeah? Whattaya want, pony?"

Derpy smiled and held out a hoof. "Can you tell me what makes you the best pirate?"

"Are you saying I'm not the best pirate?" He loomed over her, growling with every fetid breath he took.

"I'm trying to find the best pirate," explained Derpy. "If you could tell me what makes you the best?"

He thumped his massive chest. "I'll tear a person in half if they look at me wrong. When they see my ship coming, they just throw their valuables overboard just to avoid facing me! I've looted entire galleons without firing a single shot. What makes a better pirate than that?!"

Derpy nodded softly with thoughtful 'hmm's. "I see, I see. Very convincing. What if someone did stay and fight?"

"Well, then..." He frowned a little. "I'd..."

A smaller fox bumped him lightly. "You'd die of confusion is what ye'd do, ain't it?"

The bison shook a fist at the foxy pirate. "Ain't no one that didn't turn tail when I showed up!"

The fox grinned at Derpy. "He has one trick. It's a good one, mind, but that's the trick he's got."

"Mmhmm. And how are you the best pirate?" She leaned forward towards the fox. Now she was getting some intel!

"Oh, that's easy, little lady." He twirled his long moustache lightly. "When I'm done with people, they've given up their valuables, by hook or crook. Half the time they'll thank me for the privilege. It's one thing to shout and fume, but he'll find a bigger fish even--"

The bison lost his patience and slugged the fox across the face with a deafening roar.

Derpy decided to lift into the air, leaving the two to settle their differences in a tangle of limbs on the ground. The hunt would have to continue.

Spike reached for a piece of the treasure, only to have Twilight slap his hand with a hoof.

Celaeno had much more success grabbing a piece, holding up the magazine. "What in the name of all that is sacred in the sea is this?!"

Moll stepped up and peered at the cover of one. "If I'm not mistaken, and I rarely am... this is Greybeard's collection of literature."

Celaeno threw the magazine back onto the pile of the others of its ilk. "This isn't treasure! We couldn't even get a handful of bits for the entire lot. Where's the hat?!"

Mastiff crossed his arms. "Where's the gold? Wasn't there supposed to be a 'pile of gold'?"

Moll rolled a hoof. "The pile of gold is supposed to be under the hat. No hat, no gold." She sat down with a huff. "Guess we were wrong."

Spike blinked at Moll, looking perplexed. "Just like that? You're not, you know, angry?"

Moll laughed as she swatted a magazine off the pile. "Why should I be mad? I found the dirty captain's dirty magazines, isn't that enough for a day?"

Twilight shot out a wing, keeping Spike's eyes from examining the magazines. "Let's just... leave..."

Boyle shook his head. "The great treasure of a pirate lord... pah."

Spike turned back towards the elevator they had ridden down. "Well, if the hat isn't here, where is it?"

They grumbled with uncertainty as no one was sure. They left the trapped ship, victorious, and yet, defeated.

When they emerged into the light of day, Moll turned to face Celaeno. "Hey, we didn't get the treasure, but it was a good time, eh? Glad we got a chance to do it."

Celaeno looked confused at that, but Twilight approached with an extended hoof. "If nothing else, perhaps we found a new friend."

"Too right." Their hooves met with a soft clop. "If ye ever do find that hat, do let us know. At least, we have a new story to share, and this'll get more than a few laughs from the gents down at the bar. Mastiff? Let's head out."

"Right, Captain." And off they went, side-by-side.

Celaeno let out a slow sigh, but a little smile touched her lips. "She has a point. It was a fine little adventure, and nocreature got too banged up in the attempt. It coulda been far worse than that." She led the way towards her ship. "I hear you fought a giant fish?"

Boyle put his arms out, hand and hook stretching. "Its mouth was wider than my arms, each tooth just as long. It wanted us for dinner alright, and it wasn't taking no fer an answer."

Spike jumped forward with remembered excitement. "Boyle sliced it even while he was floating in the air. Kchow, Swoosh! He was amazing."

Celaeno smiled at her large crewmember. "I'm only sorry I missed you in action, Boyle."

Boyle gestured to Twilight. "If not for her magic and flying ability, it would have been for nothing. It was a team effort that saw us through those challenges, and, however it ended, I'm glad we were together for it."

"Ye can say that again." Celaeno nodded firmly, glancing aside at Twilight. "Are you upset?"

"I'm a little disappointed," she confessed, but she was smiling. "Still... it's not like the effort's done. It just means this particular avenue was a dead end."

Spike shrugged softly. "I can say I bested a pirate's gauntlet and laid claim to their booty. Huh, that makes two gauntlets I've done."

Twilight paused a moment. "You're not wrong... Is this going be your specialization? What would that cutie mark even look like?"

Spike looked skywards as they went through the street of the busy pirate town. "I mean, not that I'm getting a cutie mark..."

Twilight bumped into him as she walked. "I know that, well, you can't say it's impossible, just unlikely."

"Like I need more things to make me a weird dragon?" Spike rolled his eyes and crossed his arms as he walked. "Hey, isn't that...?" He pointed ahead. The others looked to see where he was pointing to see Derpy perched on the railing of the ship.

Celaeno snorted softly. "It's the pegasus that was distracting Squabbles before we left Ponyville. What's she want?"

They hurried to find out, cutting a path through the crowd to reach Celaeno's vessel and perhaps a few questions to cap out their fruitless adventure.

Author's Note

A little shy of 2k today, but I feel this is the proper moment for it. How am I doing? Are there typos in this plot? I'm trying to make for better and more cohesive narratives.

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13 - Pirate Lord

Spike wriggled his fingers at the pony he knew. "Hey, Derpy. Why are you here?"

Derpy waved eagerly at Spike, then Twilight and the others. "Hello! I'm here to make a delivery." She put a hoof to her chest, looking proud. "It's what mailmares do."

Twilight nodded stiffly. "I suppose that's true. Who to? Celaeno?"

Celaeno advanced on Derpy. "I hope it is, sitting on my deck and all." Her eyes shifted between the box and the pegasus perched on it.

Derpy shook her head. "Well, maybe?! What makes you the best pirate?"

Celaeno frowned a little with thought, the sea wind ruffling her feathers in the quiet moment. "Mmm, I have a sense of decency to go with my appetite for adventure," she put forward with a smirk.

Derpy shook her head, clearly unsatisfied. "I'm going to be looking forever..."

Boyle lifted his massive shoulders, his hands going palm-side up in a mighty shrug. "If ye know what makes a perfect pirate, why ain't ye a pirate?"

Derpy stood up, peering at Boyle with wide eyes. "That's... a great idea!" Her chest fluffed out. "I will be the best pirate ever!"

Spike pointed at the box. "Well, if you're the best pirate, why don't you show us what's in the box, if it's addressed to you."

Derpy started. "O-oh, hey, you're right. If I'm a best pirate, then the box is mine." She giggled as she grabbed the edge of the box in her hooves, prying it free despite lacking fingers. It popped open, swinging easily once she got it a little open. Inside rested one fine pirate's hat about ten years past its prime.

She was not bothered by its age. She grabbed it and plopped it on her own head. "This is the best!" She clopped her forehooves together wildly as she bounced up and down on her hind legs. "Look at me, best pirate!"

While Derpy was distracted, Celaeno reached a pegleg over and got it just over the edge of the box, pulling it closer to peer inside. There was packing straw, but no gold. Not a single doubloon awaited the one that claimed the hat. It had just held a hat. "Curse him to Davey's Locker!" She fumed, punching one palm with the opposing hand.

"What's wrong?" asked Derpy, perking her ears at Celaeno through slits already in the hat. "It's a nice hat, in't it?"

Celaeno rolled a hand. "Yeah, yeah, perfect hat. It was supposed to come with gold." She kicked the box away, crystal striking wood and sending it sliding away across the deck. "Not a scrap! That old codger lied to us!"

Derpy lifted into the air with a bright smile. "You know who sent this? I have to thank them for giving me such a great gift." She reached up and adjusted the hat carefully, getting it precisely off-balance on her head. "It fits and everything. How'd they know?"

Twilight suddenly laughed, turning to face Moll's ship. "He was over there, but he may have just been kicked off his ship, come to think. Spike?"

"Yeah?" He was already climbing up onto Twilight. "Ready!"

"We'll be right back." Twilight lifted into the air. "Follow me, Derpy. We may end up saving him."

"We're gonna save somepony?!" She followed after Twilight, eyes shining with the idea of being a hero.

Angry growls rose as swords were drawn. The old chipmunk backed up slowly towards a pile of boxes, chuckling softly as he went. "Let's not be hasty, m'hearties. We've been friends for years, be a shame to end it this way, mm?"

"Ye had yer chance," angrily growed a lean dog with a scimitar at the ready. "If we ain't got a new pirate lord, we can at least get rid of the old one."

"Yeah!" agreed a tiny cat, an equally tiny rapier held in her hands in a two-handed stance that didn't seem to fit the slender rapier. "Ye've sat on the pot for too long."

"That isn't so!" assured Greybeard even as he tripped backwards over one of the boxes, coming crashing down into the pile, sending lumber tumbling down all around him.

One of the advancing pirates, a female capybara, laughed. "I think he may have just did our job fer us. See if he's alive. I'd rather get some fun out of it."

The others grumbled, but moved forward quickly, tossing aside boxes as they dug around to find the potentially squished lord of pirates. "Wait!" came a sudden cry. Several looked up to see a pony princess flying towards them with a dragon on her back. Just behind and beside her was a grey pegasus with walled eyes and a grin.

An aged snout poked free of the debris as Greybeard pulled himself free of the mess he made. "Sorry fer that. Gravity gets stronger with age, let me tell you, now as I were say... Hey!" He pointed an aged finger at Derpy. "Hey! Is that me hat?!"

Derpy looked up as best she could. "I think maybe? Does it look nice?" She twirled in the air, the hat twirling with her but at a slightly slower rate, resulting in it stopping at the wrong angle and leaning all the more dangerously. "I really like it, thank you for sending it to me."

Greybeard dropped to a knee stiffly. "Behold! Your new Pirate Lord!"

The others blinked in one confused mass. The little pirate pointed her rapier at Derpy. "Her?!"

"She has the hat, she's the lord. Now let me retire in peace." He struggled back to his feet. "Good luck with it, miss. I'm sure you'll make me proud."

Spike slid up closer to Twilight's head. "I think we were just in time," he whispered to her.

Twilight rotated an ear back at him. "Just in time... maybe." She smiled awkwardly at Derpy. "Is this what you want?"

Derpy was starting to giggle, like a little purr that built into a full-volume guffaw. "I get to be Pirate Lord! Yes! Finally, the world will know my amazing abilities!" She thrust a hoof into the air, the hat finally giving up the ghost and dropping from her head. She grabbed for it as it fell, but her hooves didn't even find each other, let alone the hat she was aiming for.

It fell over the tiny cat, concealing her from view. "Hey!" came a tiny voice of complaint before the hat was plucked up by a dog.

"Ha. It's mine now," claimed the boxer with a grin. "All bow to yer Pirate Lord." He put it on his head proudly.

Derpy pointed at him. "Hey, that's mine!"

The boxer looked ready to object, but the crowd turned against him. Several hands grabbed at him, one snatching the hat free and giving it back to Derpy. "What's the deal?" barked the accosted dog. "I got the hat, that makes me the Pirate Lord!"

Greybeard smiled crookedly. "I'm glad some of ye scurvy rats remember the rules. Only the Pirate Lord can pass on the title, and I didn't hear your new lord passing anything on."

Derpy made sure her hat was perfectly misaligned. "As your Pirate Lord, my first rule is... No stealing what isn't yours."

A fox yipped out a laugh. "Then what makes us pirates? Taking what ain't ours is half of what defines us."

Derpy tapped her chin. "Oh, um, hm... Well, you can at least not do it to each other. That's just not nice. We're one big family." She spread her hooves. "We should be good to each other."

There were some grumbles, but that order was far better than just not stealing at all. Twilight flapped closer to Derpy, smiling hopefully. "As the new leader of this nation, I would like to formally approach you on behalf of Equestria."

A hand grabbed each of Twilight's hooves suddenly, yanking her downwards. Spike barely got out a yelp before he was wrenched free of Twilight. In barely any time at all, both were tied up tight.

Derpy lowered to the dockside, looking over the two. "Um, why'd you do that?" she asked of the eager pirates that seemed to be presenting the two to her like a sort of gift. "I didn't ask for a princess, but I never had a princess before. Are princesses good to have?" She seemed to consider what she would do with a princess gift. "And a free dragon too? You guys are so generous!"

The fox patted Twilight on the head. "We can't steal from each other, but a little ransoming of a princess to Equestria ain't against any rule. Should be plenty of coins for everyone involved, eh, Pirate Lord?" He suddenly frowned. "Speakin' of that, what's yer name?"

Derpy sat up. "O-oh, right, pirate name, um... I am Pirate Lord Muffins!" She thumped her chest. "I would like one of those. What flavors do you have around here?"

Twilight spat out the rope that had been gagging her. "Derpy! You can't just leave us tied up here."

Derpy took a firm step towards Twilight, grinning in a way that could be confused for malign, if it weren't so goofy. "Oh, no, we can't leave a princess like that. Ransom her, but not for money. We'll give her back if Equestria promises to leave all pirates alone."

"Derpy!" Twilight exclaimed. Power had gone to her friend's head quickly. "What are you doing?!"

Derpy tapped Twilight on the nose. "Boop," she said as she did it. "Stop being upset. We'll get you back to Equestria, we just want less ships bothering ours. That's what a good Pirate Lord would do, right?"

The fox blinked twice. "Sink me and take me stash if that don't sound right. All hail the new Pirate Lord! All hail Muffins!"

"Muffins! Muffins!" the crowd shouted in joyful unison. They had a new pirate lord, and she seemed to be ready to do things they wanted to be part of.

Derpy extended her wings, brushing them against Twilight's cheeks. "Bring her to my quarters. I'll hold onto her until we get word from Equestria." She pointed a hoof at Spike. "Bring him too."

Soon they were in a finely appointed room. Derpy flew around, looking at all the various shiny bits that littered the room. "Wow, I didn't even know I had a quarters. I just thought it was the right thing to say."

Spike shrugged as best he could in the ropes. "Um, yeah, so... what do you plan to do with us?"

Derpy spun in the air. "Let you go, of course." She landed in front of Twilight and began pulling at her ropes with her teeth, awkwardly attacking them. "I was just pretending."

When the ropes fell down around Twilight, she stood up. With a glowing horn, she teleported Spike a foot forward without his ropes, freeing him as well. "Derpy, you are the Pirate Lord. If you leave with us, it would cause quite a bit of harm."

"It would?" Derpy crashed to her haunches. "Oh... Did I mess up again?" She fidgeted in place. "I didn't mean to, I promise! Why does this always happen to me?! I thought I was fixing things..."

Spike counted on his claws. "The way I see it, you have two, um, three choices. One, you be the Pirate Lord. Two, you pick someone else to be Pirate Lord. Three, you run away and let everyone be angry at you."

Twilight grabbed the rope in her magic and twirled it around herself, but it was loose and didn't even hinder her from walking around. "Oh no, you've caught us." She leaned in. "Miss Pirate Lord, shall we negotiate?"

Derpy blinked quietly a moment before she began bobbing her head fiercely. "Yes! Yes please. But I have big demands." She clopped a hoof on the wooden floor. "My people have needs and wants, and Equestria has some of what they want, so you better be ready for, um, what's the word?"

"Negotiations?" offered Spike with a raised brow.

"Yeah, that. Lots of that." Derpy clapped her hooves, ready to haggle a deal with Twilight.

The pirates had suffered worse lords.

Author's Note

And.... fin. All hail Pirate Lord Muffins!

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1 - A Salty Tale

Captain Celaeno walked alongside Twilight and Spike. Her eyes wandered over the rustic homes of Ponyville as she went. "You have a very... charming place here." She towered over the ponies, standing bipedally as she was. "So, this is where you came from?"

Spike shook his head. "Nah, we're from up there." He hiked a claw up towards Canterlot atop the mountain. "But we live here now. It's been a while though."

Twilight smiled broad and perhaps a little forced. "This is Ponyville, where we live. It's a very nice place filled with very nice people. In fact, you've already met some of them."

"Is that a fact? Besides you two?" Her eye swept over the purple princess and her equally purple dragon friend.

Spike looked around. "I'm actually surprised one of them hasn--"

"Hi!" Pinkie emerged from beneath Celaeno's hat, looking at her upside-down. "Nice to seeya again! Why didn't you tell me you were coming? I'm not even prepared for a proper celebration or anything!"

Celaeno reached up and plucked the pink pony off of her head. "How did you... nevermind. Hello, Pinkie." She set the pink one down on the ground. "You all live here then?"

Pinkie bobbed her head. "I sure do, and Twilight, Applejack, Mister and Misses Cake, May--"

Twilight slid between Pinkie and her guest. "There are many ponies in Ponyville, and even some others."

"Cranky, Matilda, Zecora, though I guess she just lives near Ponyville." Pinkie looked thoughtful on the matter.

Celaeno smirked softly. "I get the idea. You've even got a parrot walking the streets like she owns the place."

Spike extended a finger. "A pirate parrot."

"That's swashbuckler to you, little dragon." She glanced about. "But all I want to swash right now is some lunch. What's on offer?"

Twilight gestured with her head towards a cafe she had visited many times before. "Here's a nice place. I'll talk to you later, Pinkie."

"I better get back to work, but have fun in Ponyville!" Pinkie waved energetically until she got a nod in reply, and pronked away to her duties.

Spike jogged up towards a free table. "This is your first time in Ponyville, right?"

Celaeno grabbed a chair and patted the dust free of it. "Don't get two-leggers often, I see." She slapped down the chair beside the table and sank down onto it. Her knees were a bit above the table. "I see."

Twilight tried to give an assuring smile that looked more nervous than anything else. "We're happy to have you, so... tell us how things are going? You know, now that the Storm King's gone."

"Gotta be better than before," spoke Spike with a lazy confidence as he waved down a waitpony.

Celaeno held up her glass as it was filled with water. "Thanks. Things are really lookin' up, mostly. We're avasting and planning our 'ventures, but..."

Twilight hiked a brow. "But?"

"Well, you see, before the Storm King came along and threw everything out of order like the big clod he was, we swashbucklers--"

"--Pirates," added Spike helpfully.

"Pirates," sighed out Celaeno. "We had a place all to ourselves. It's where a captain would gather a crew, or sell off their booty, resupply, do all the things we needed doing. Kinda important, you know?"

Twilight sat up with building interest. "Did he destroy it?"

"Nothing so direct." Celaeno waved it away with her left talon as her right flipped through the menu. "He took so many pirates, like us, that we just kinda... lost track of it. But now we're free!" She balled her free talon to bang on the table. "Back in business! Which means we headed back to the island."

Spike put down his menu. "So, that's good, right?"

Twilight hesitantly nodded. "Perhaps less so for some others, but..."

Celaeno smirked. "I suppose it isn't all flowers when a crew of scurvy pirates pulls up alongside yer starboard and demands all your valuable shining things. Still, we had rules." She wriggled her talons before plunging one down onto her menu. "I'll take this."

The waiter, who had great timing, nodded. "An excellent choice, madame. " He turned to Twilight and Spike. "The usual?"

Twilight put her menu down with a smile. "You know me so well."

Spike nodded. "I'll try a little of what she's having too, so, uh, good for you?"

Celaeno released the menu to the hoof of the waiter before nodding. "Yeah, it's a good place. Like a nation all to itself. We set the laws, not just for there, but for pirates everywhere. We don't need some nincompoop ruining the whole deal for us, so we had some guidelines, you know, keep people straight." She half-lidded her eyes, looking at Twilight. "You like rules, don't you?"

Twilight wobbled a hoof in the air. "Nothing wrong with a few well-written protocols to cover situations, but you and your crew didn't seem happy with following rules, before, with the Storm King."

She crossed her arms, her talons holding the opposing arm. "They were terrible rules, and we never agreed to who was giving them. Two reasons to hate them. Seriously, one lunch break for the entire day? I hope the guy enjoys being in a thousand pieces."

Spike flinched at Celeano's sour expression. "Well, he's gone now, and everyone's happy again, right?"

"Mostly." She snapped the fingers on her right talon. "Now that the island's full of pirates, there's a bit of an issue. You can't have a nation without someone in charge, and don't even start with democracies. You ever watch a bunch of pirates try to democracize something? It ain't pretty, let me assure."

Twilight hiked a thoughtful brow. "Who was in charge before, and why not bring them back?"

Celeano's shoulders lifted in unison. "He was old when the trouble started, and took the opportunity to retire. Can't blame him, not like he could do much during the whole thing, but now it's gone, and we just have an empty throne. How're we getting a new Lord of Pirates? That's the question." She banged a talon on the table. "And how long does it take to get a refill around here?"

The waiter scurried up and tilted a pitcher held in his mouth, pouring out a generous refill for Celeano.

Twilight tapped her hooves together lightly. "Well, what is everyone doing now then? Is it chaos?"

"Nah." She took a long pull of her drink. "Most people are just doing what they want, following the old rules, mostly." She raised a brow. "Most..."

Twilight hopped up to her hooves. "You clearly need someone to lend a helping hoof, and formal introductions between Equestria and this island are long overdue."

Spike's face fell to doubt, tapping his foot on the ground. "Or, you just want to see a new place you haven't heard of before today."

"I mean, there is a little of that too, but, as Princess of Friendship, it is my duty to offer a hoof of friendship to a nation we have no formal ties with." She nodded, eyes closed with confidence in her logic. "Besides, we may be able to help."

Celeano brought a talon close to Twilight's face, wriggling the claws just enough to brush Twilight's nose. When she had eyes on her, she waved the large green jewel she wore on a ring in front of Twilight. "You do realize half of them would just as soon grab you and see how much ransom they could get from Equestria for a royal princess?"

Twilight shrank back a little. "I'm not defenseless. Besides, I'd go with you." Her smile returned. "You wouldn't let some random pirates snatch me, would you?"

"Put my honor on the line, I see how this sails." Celeano put the same talon on her chest. "As it turns, I wouldn't. You're a friend, you daft unicorn. I wouldn't let some other dogs get a hold of you. Besides, I figure if anyone's getting a ransom for you, it should be me."

Spike put a hand behind his head, rubbing idly. "Well, doesn't sound like something I'd be too helpful for, oh, the food's here."

Plates were set out before each pony, or bird as Twilight eyed her assistant. "Not so fast. I'll need someone to document the journey." She reached out and put a hoof on his head beside his fins. "Besides, don't you want to see where all the pirates live?"

Celeano brought her talons together, rubbing them as she eyed her meal, which seemed to be a steaming concoction of seeds and sweet tar. "You still haven't said what I get out of this. Stopping the Storm King, that had something in it for me. Taking you to the island? Sounds like a bit of a pain for me." She grabbed a spoon and got to shoveling her face full of sweet treats.

Spike poked at his jiggly smaller portion of the same. "Isn't this like the slop the Storm King made you eat?"

"Made us?" She gulped down a beakful of the stuff. "We like it just fine, thanks. I was more surprised to see it on a pony menu. Good taste, and not badly prepared." She brought up a fresh spoon. "But that's not here or there. Are you even ready, Princess, to deal with a whole country of pirates?"

Twilight's hackles rose defensively as she spread her wings. "I can handle a few pirates. I mean, we got along with you well enough without anyone getting hurt."

Celeano set her spoon down and slid up to her foot and peg leg. "I wasn't at my best at the time, little princess. We're talking about a whole island of ocean-hardened, salty, scurvy--" She punctuated each adjective with a thrusting motion of a talon at Twilight."--greedy, mean, violent sons of..." She trailed off and glanced around. "That's perhaps a bit too harsh to use in polite company." She sank back into her chair.

Twilight coughed into a hoof. "Be that as it may, this would hardly be the first adventure I've been on, and I wouldn't be alone. I'd have you--" She pointed at Celeano with a hoof. "--and Spike."

Spike grunted softly. "Why don't we ask the girls? I'm sure they'd like to help."

Twilight tapped the table as the counted the reasons. "Pinkie and Rarity are both busy with work, customers for a week at least. Rainbow isn't far off, practicing for a Wonderbolt demonstration. Then we have Applejack, apple harvesting season. Fluttershy is... Do you really want to ask Fluttershy along to deal with pirates?"

Spike shrugged softly. "Guess not..."

"You haven't answered my question." Celeano rubbed two talons together, thumb and pointer. "What's in it for me, Princess? We may be friends, but you're asking an awful lot from me and I'm not feeling that generous."

Twilight flashed a bright smile. "You're only asking that because we've only just begun the tour." She pointed up at her castle, dominating its portion of the horizon. "That's my castle."

Celeano's pupils contracted a moment as she beheld it. Her beak worked silently as if trying to estimate the value of the structure. "I... see... so you'll be paying for my services properly then?" She leaned forward over her food, her talons meeting together and her beak resting atop them. "Perhaps we could work something out."

"Or we could just enjoy the visit?" Spike smiled with nervous hope.

"Quiet, Spike," spoke both females.

Twilight nodded at Celeano. "Very well. I'll expect a proper contract with the specifics, to be read and approved properly. Assuming I see nothing out of place, I'll have it signed and stamped." She held out a hoof.

Celeano met it with a balled talon. "Sounds like a plan to me, Miss Sparkle. I'll get right on that." She rose smoothly and turned away from the table. "Got me a gig!" she said as if the two couldn't hear her and she strolled off with a smile and a happy whistling.

Spike looked between the departing parrot and Twilight. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Oh, stop worrying, Spike. What's the worst that could happen?" Twilight dusted herself off. "She makes some unreasonable terms and I decline, end story. I doubt it'll come to that."

Author's Note

Welcome to a new story! I have a new atreon backer at the Author level, which means a new weekly story, and this is it! Since this started at the end of the month, I'll be doing extra updates to make up for the missing posts this month that they already paid for.

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4 - There be Dragons

Days slipped past. Twilight emerged from her room for meals, but also to get fresh air. She peered over the side of the ship, watching the endless sheets of water that had become their scenery. "Fluttershy would love to see this."

"Huh?" Spike looked where she was pointing and saw an immense creature spraying water high into the air. "Woah... what is that?"

"That's a whale," said Twilight with a self-pleased smile for knowing that fact. "They may look fierce, but they don't attack ponies."

"What about dragons?" Spike peered suspiciously at the creature, though it was sinking beneath the waves.

"Not that I know of?" Twilight shrugged. "Our information on dragons, let alone their relations with everything else, is still forming." she turned towards the front of the ship, eyes following the motions of the parrots. "That is part of why this mission is so important. We can't pretend the pirates don't exist, and not knowing could cost us."

Spike did a twirl and leaned his back against the railing of the ship. "They seem like alright people to me."

A purple ear perked towards Spike. "About that. You've been spending a lot of time with them. Are you learning something?"

Spike's body went rigid. "Oh, uh, just... pirate stuff?"

Twilight leaned to the left towards Spike. "Pirate stuff?"

"You know?" Spike smiled a bit too widely. "Like how to sew!"

Twilight's head pulled back in a jerk. "How to sew?! I... would not have guessed that. You never learned that from Rarity?"

Spike laughed a little too loudly, bringing his hands together in a clap. "Funny thing, really. I've helped her make things, but she never really wanted me to do the making. I mean, I get it. She's the professional and all." He lifted his shoulders. "But none of them are, so they showed me how to patch holes in clothes. It's not as hard as I thought it'd be."

Twilight slowly nodded. "I see, that's surprisingly nice, really. Maybe I'll bother you instead of Rarity if my clothing gets damaged." She smiled gently as she raised a hoof to run along her new pirate-themed garb. "You know, you don't have to carry that fake sword everywhere."

The tension returned to Spike in a fury. "It's part of the look... Besides, I like it."

"Suit yourself." She rose to her hooves. "Celeano?"

"Aye?" She looked over from the steering wheel. "What's on your mind, Princess?"

"How long, approximately, before we arrive?" Twilight walked at a sedate pace towards the small stairs that led up to where Celaeno was stationed, the wind gently running through her fur and clothes in fitful little rustles.

"It should be--" She drew out a spyglass and pulled it from its compressed state until it was about a foot long, ideal for peering through. "Just a few more..." She raised her free hand. "Visual at three o' clock! Confirm, ye blasted dogs!"

Twilight cringed at the sudden change in tone. Her eyes went up towards the sun, trying to determine the time a moment before it hit her and she gave a nervous laugh, adjusting her sights ahead and to the right. The ship was rapidly increasing in noise as the crew rushed about.

A plaintive squawk came from above, their least eloquent member spotting something.

"What I was afraid of." Celaeno scrunched her monoscope closed with a firm click. "Princess, you should go below deck. We have raiders inbound."

Twilight shook her head, peering at what looked like two little incoming dots. "Maybe they're just friends? How can you be sure they're here for trouble?"

Celaeno shoved Twilight back towards the stairs. "A pair of dragons don't fly out this far because they want to have a nice chat. Now, ye paid me to keep your pretty hide intact, so do as I say."

Spike waved a hand excitedly. "I'll try talking to them, you know, dragon to dragon."

"That--" Celaeno hesitated, seeing Spike winking at her behind Twilight's back. "--is a great idea, Spike. Maybe they'll respect a fellow in scales." She gave an emphatic thumbs up.

Twilight hiked a brow, looking back and forth between them. "If Spike is staying, so am I." She crossed her forehooves, standing on her hindlegs. "I'm a friend of their leader, you know."

Celaeno pushed Twilight again, knocking over the bipedal pony to the ground. "Ye maybe a princess, but you're on my ship, which makes me in charge. Now get going."

With sudden irritation, Twilight's horn glowed with her angry magic. "You can't--"

"No time," came a new, male, voice. Mullet grabbed the prone form of Twilight and hefted her right up onto his shoulder. "Below deck ye go!" And he jumped down the short flight of stairs, whisking her squirming form away.

Celaeno hiked a thumb in the direction they had gone. "By most rights, ye should be going with her. You can try talking, but the moment it gets dicey, you're leaving. The contract was pretty specific, and included the safety of both of you."

The dragons drew close, a yellow scaled beast as large as the ship they rode, and a smaller red dragon that darted about, perhaps half the size, though still quite large. The smaller seemed rounder, but had great spikes on its long tail. The larger's weapons seemed to be mounted on at the ends of its fingers in the form of terrific claws that extended longer than Celaeno stood.

Spike straightened his shirt with a soft clearing of his throat, as if to assume a position of authority, even if he was trembling slightly. "Good day, fellow dragons!" he shouted.

With a great rush of air, the smaller one came up alongside the ship, its huge eye taking up an uncomfortable amount of space. "What'd you say?" asked the male voice. "Speak up."

Spike laughed briefly and awkwardly as he glanced to the others, but they were all looking to him. "Y-yes. Hello!" he raised his volume to a hoarse shout. "Welcome, fellow dragons!"

The larger one prodded the back leg of the smaller one, speaking in a female voice, booming overpoweringly, "Did they surrender yet?"

The male waved dismissively back at the larger female. "Yeah yeah, hello tiny dragon. We're larger than you, so we're taking your stuff. Be a champ and pile it up so we can just take it and go."

Spike thrust up a finger, so very small compared to the two dragons he was dealing with. "W-wait. I am a friend of the dragon lord, and we travel on official business. She will be really angry if you get in the way."

"Did that ant say something about the dragon lord?" The female peered over the shoulder of the male. "I can barely hear it."

"Yeah, that's what he said." He leaned in over the edge of the rail. "What proof do you have. You're not even big enough to be a proper dragon. Flame it, you don't even have wings."

Spike cringed at the verbal blow. "Be that as it... may. I bested the Gauntlet of Fire!" He drew his sword, as comically tiny as it felt. "I've seen other worlds. I helped topple immense evils and am Princess Twilight Sparkle's right-hand dragon!"

The female suddenly shoved the male away to the right, moving in. "Did you say the Twilight Sparkle?!"

Spike blinked with sudden confusion. "Yeah?"

She leaned in as close as she could, her breath like a small hurricane of wind. "I love her! As ponies go, she's the best! She always fixes things without even having to use her amazing magic! She's so strong, her mere presence is enough to scare everyone into order." She gave a girlish squeal of glee, clapping her massively clawed hands together in a rapid patting. "Oh Oh! I didn't recognize you." She turned her head to the side to allow her eye closer. "You really are Spike, the destroyer of Sombra. I hear you have an entire kingdom of ponies ready to kiss your feet. Ha! This is too good!"

"And here I am," boomed Twilight, speaking with the Royal Canterlot Voice. She ascended the stairs from below. "I had hoped my assistant would dismiss such... distractions... before my presence was required."

The male huffed, smoke escaping his long snout. "What are you doing? They don't look like they're surrendering at all."

The female shoved the male away roughly. "Shhh. Twilight Sparkle is here." She giggled with growing glee. "Sorry to bother you, Your Majesty. I'm your biggest fan!"

Twilight looked over the ship-sized dragon. "I... can believe that," she boomed. "What business do you have?"

The female reached back and produced a goblet that looked tiny for her use, but was as large as a proper horse. She set it on the top of the ship. "Could you, I mean, if it's not too much trouble... sign this?" She grinned, great teeth displayed. "It would mean so much to me!"

Twilight waved a hoof at it, her signature appearing with her magic in a showy flash of power, etched into the surface. "For my biggest fan, I will grant this boon." She cleared her throat in much the same was Spike had done. "Now, I am on urgent business, so I say goodbye, and good travels."

"Y-yes, of course, Princess. A pleasure meeting you." She quickly snatched the goblet, giggling all the while. "C'mon, let's go."

"W-what, we didn't get anything!" He huffed at the female, flames licking around his lips. "You are--"

She tucked the goblet away and snatched the male, capturing him in her immense claws. "You will not make me look bad in front of the Princess Twilight Sparkle, great overlord of comradery! She has forced friends across the world, and if she gets annoyed, she'll send them after you, if there's anything left after she's done with you." She suddenly let his shaking form go. "Besides, I did get something." She giggled with growing glee, starting to depart the ship. "And I will treasure it forever..."

Twilight turned away from the two dragons, one much happier than the other. "Now then... I believe we need to make something a bit more... clear."

Celaeno smiled awkwardly. "We were thinking of your safety, Twilight."

"And I appreciate that." Twilight let out a slow breath. "But I will not be carted away like a sack of potatoes unless I'm hurt."

Mullet gestured at the shrinking form of the dragons. "Well, it's settled for now. Yer ladyship, it's almost time fer lunch, will ye be joinin' us?"

Spike took the opportunity while they were talking to get his not-fake sword away. "Hey, a little food sounds like just the ticket right about now."

Twilight quirked a little smile. "Can we try something different today?"

Celaeno snapped two fingers as she turned away. "I've been waiting for you to ask that very question. Today's a treat! Boyle!"

Boyle saluted with his hooked hand. "Aye aye, captain." He strode swiftly below deck.

"This lunch'll be worth waiting for." Celaeno clapped her hands. "Now, sorry fer the shove, but when things are getting tricky, a captain needs to know their orders are followed. Ye know where I'm comin' from, aye?"

Twilight's tension ebbed slightly. "Well, yes. Emergencies can be a difficult time." She raised a hoof to her chest. "But I am not a dainty noble that needs to be sheltered. This is far from my first adventure, and likely not the last."

"Aye aye, Princess." Celaeno ascended the steps towards her steering wheel. "Good job, Spike," she said without turning. "Ye got the intel we needed and bought time until we could act on it."

Twilight raised a hoof quickly to pat Spike on the shoulder. "That was very brave of you. Did you see how big they were?!"

Spike nervously laughed, wringing his fingers together. "How could I not? Will I get that big someday?"

Twilight shrugged softly. "I'm not sure, but you'll always be Spike." She wrapped a leg around him and pulled him in for an eagerly-returned hug.

Author's Note

That could have gone far worse. I was quaking in fear while typing about the dragons, so a few typos might have happened.

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