I remember therefore I was
I have lived many eons and have seen many things, changed innumerable lives and amassed accolades as to mark my name not only in history, but in legend as well. In my long life I had served Equestria, defending it from the forces of the dark, the insane and voracious. I am a hero to those that know me as their princess and a demon to those that would bring harm to the domain I call my own.
I do confess that there is blood on my hooves; generations upon generations of death in my life brought on by the might of my horn, my word and step. I cannot afford to regret them, but I hope they can someday be forgiven.
I have had everything I ever wanted once upon a time. And yet I find myself wanting to return to you. For you see, with the passage of time I began losing everything bit by bit. In the beginning it was you I lost, but I gained things I once thought to be fate's way of compensating, only to feel loss several times more. Had it all been worth it? Had it all been for the greater good? Lost friends, family, innocence and harmony... Was it truly worth living on even after all those things had gone from my life?
My research of Starswirl's time-spell had been an arduous one, its been my pet project for the last few centuries. Making time for this morbid hobby proved to be difficult, as the Champion of Celestia's empire, Teacher within the world's greatest school of magic and General of the land's forces I tend to be busy all of the time. But I had an eternity to make time, little by little, I am going to break the limiter of this spell and meet myself again.
That one other time, I do regret to be a total waste. Though I look on at the naivety of my old self with fondness.
Just for you. I will discover yet again, new magic. Just so you, my ideal self, can tell me that I had lived a good life.
An eon of research had proven slow, but I have managed to break the seal in a manner of speaking. Now I can send letters back in time to myself, saving potentially hundreds of lives at every turn of event. I send this letter to you, as proof of my claim.
I send it in hopes that you will be prepared to give me your answer when we finally meet once more.
I am on my way to you, Twilight Sparkle. Someday soon, I will meet you again as a new pony. Somepony who is both a shadow of your former self and the final accumulation of all your ambition and achievement.
I, the Great and Powerful princess Twilight Sparkle will meet you in my final day.
In the university of magic within the grand cathedral city of Celestia there is a single tower that rises high into the sky. Like a mighty sceptre, it rises to amplify the sun, refracting the light into 7 beautiful colours across the whole city. This is where Twilight's study resides. A room of power where the sun's magic could be felt the strongest. Here is no dark corner or dimly lit reading room. This is a place where, quite literally, the magic happens, the most powerful and new and beautiful in the land. And In this single room of light, within this house of glass, Twilight transcended the need for books. Having memorised every single one and rewritten, updated and revised all of them over the eons. In what she calls her home, she only finds it necessary to hold a study table with a simple drawer that holds only quills and parchment and a simple cot for sleeping.
This is how the great and powerful princess Twilight Sparkle sees fit to live. As the hermit that lives in the busiest city in the world.
"Mistress Twilight, we have come at your summons." Two young unicorns entered the room and stood to attention. Twilight, sat on her study, putting the final flourish of a quill stroke upon clean white parchment. With a will it burst into flames, flames that left nothing behind but a quiet rapidly dwindling wave of heat and nothing more. Not even ashes to have her written word remembered by.
Slowly Twilight turned to her students. They were called Sugar and Spice, a pair not unlike two young colts she once knew. But where they seemed talentless and weak. These mares were strong and proud. Yet, the chemistry they held together, this irrefutable bond of friendship... those colts went on to heroes. Unsung and killed in the most unremarkable of ways, but even if history wouldn't remember them, she will. And in their memory, she sees them in the two ponies before her.
And it brought a tear to the old mare's eye.
"Mistress?" Both said. Spice looked on with a worried expression while Sugar, showing her respect, looked to the side after realising her attention had drawn me.
"It's nothing my little ponies. I was just reminiscing a bit. Now let's be off to business. Meet me in the lecturing hall, and I want you to walk there." Twilight Sparkle winked and smiled and took that extra second to delay her spell long enough to see the beginnings of the bewilderment of her students.
And then in an instant there was a small localised flash and then that flash exploded into white light. The enchantment upon Twilight's glass home had broken, with nothing to stop it the sun flooded the room.
"I hate it when she does that." Said the orange mare.
"Spice, if you keep being taken by surprise, you're going to become blind. Teacher only wants us to be strong." The white unicorn coldly remarked as she passed the blinded friend to exit downwards to the long walk into the lecture hall several thousand steps below.
"Why even bother? No pony will ever be strong enough to defeat her. Teacher will never die." Blinded but far too conditioned to have it be a bother, Spice followed behind down the stairs with her eyes closed. Waiting for her eyes to recover, half fearing that one day when she opens them, she won't see anything.
"Maybe. But teacher has always been full of surprises. She's no one trick pony like you."
Author's Note
I intended to just write the letter and have past twilight react to it. But I love my universe too much. I intended to have the interplay of the twilights to play as most of the character development and progression.
But Twilight, key characters within a universe, suddenly vanishing? That's alot of potential to explore. Her presence would be heavily missed, world changingly so. Like Celestia in MLP retiring kinda world changing.
I intend to have the profound existential moment between the Twilights as spoiled (?) by the letter.
But I also want to double that feeling by involving all the characters closer to her, so that its felt more clearly exactly what she's leaving behind.. So it becomes an all encompassing story, than a character wank fest.
Also note-this is a prequel to Twilight the wise.
I've always wondered what the humble earth pony felt towards a unicorn. Magic was an ambiguous thing with no defined limitations. Perhaps defined stability with each new attempt at greater feats of mimicking gods and demons, but that stability was only by the limitation of the mortal wielder. Even I, as far as I've gone, feel like the whole world truly sees me as this god. This omnipotent being that could make and do anything. Nothing was impossible to Twilight Sparkle. Everything was just an eventuality.
I try to imagine a world that they see. A world that you could only live in with the might of your own hooves and the ability of your own muscles. You followed a logic and pragmatism that accepted that many ponies could do much greater things than you, simply by being born with wings or horns. What good is a strong and swift pony when your fellow pony could just decimate you with magic hundreds of miles away, or assail your progress with a mighty maelstrom of weather and elements?
What progress could I possibly make with such limitation as holding the limitations of my own potential? And yet despite all this the earth pony stands to be an equalling rival to a populous of mighty unicorns. Where we could destroy a whole battlefield, they can send us misinformation or kill off our greatest mages and healers. Where we march forward like a machine of destruction. They move around us and nibble away our resources, leaving the machine with little to no fuel to function.
And when everything is said and done. When the fight finally comes. They bring it with the force of their whole being. With their might and their technology. They equalled the solar empire at every turn. Through eons of cowering to the might of a greater foe, they adapted and grew and evolved to equal their enemy with nothing as convenient as magic.
With this in mind, to remove this seal I will need to think like the humble earth pony and wear these scars of defeat with pride. Wear my own hurt pride brought on with such countless failures with pride. For soon I will succeed and it was all because of the past errors and mistakes and failures and... regrets.
This time this letter I wish to extend to Rarity. I will not reveal her future to you and I will leave it to you if you wish to pass this message onto her for me.
But today I am compelled to say that for the first time in ages I have felt the touch of harmony. It was only a little bit but I felt it for the tiniest of instants.
Not too long ago the demon of laughs was upon me with her usual madness. Drowning me in a waking nightmare as she reminds me over and over about the sins that I have done onto her and onto my other dearest friends.
Rarity. I'm so sorry for what I will do to you. You trusted me to do the right thing but instead I did what I believed to be right. Suffice to say, it was not in light of what a friend had in mind.
I called you many horrible things before we parted and did such horrible things to you.
The demon is correct to remind me. Despite all her evil she does mean well in her own demented little way.
And when I met this little filly named Charity.
When she ask me if I wanted her friendship. I realised that through all my knowledge I gained, I had also lost so much in return.
It is going to be a trial and it goes against all that I stand for. But I think it's time to stop thinking and seeing this world as a world split apart by empires and republics. But of two pony races that had forgotten what it meant to live in a world without the magic you hold so dear.
Now the demon laughs at me, calling me traitor and heretic as I had done onto the saint. But I see the world now as it is and as it should be. I should never have been proud of all the things I've done.
But for all I'm worth I'll look and live beyond what I perceive within the convenience of my position and power and ability. And look towards what a little filly sees me as.
I will be a friend unto her and a friend onto the others she is fated to meet. And this time I will be the one to remind the demon what it really means to laugh.
And when I finally once again remember the sheer power of harmony. Perhaps I will be inspired to transcend the limitations of a magical scholar and fathom things in a far greater way that no mere book can instruct you.
I'd intended to beg forgiveness before you and I do intend to. But until I find some sort of contentment of this existence.
I choose this world's problems over you.
Author's Note
Context?
Charity is the anointed element of generosity. Which kinda ironic seeing as she's pony with no power or position or influence. Just a reckless child travelling a cruel world, whom the church sees as a holy prophet that they intend to groom into a mighty holy warrior against the darkness. While the cult sees as their a greatest threat.
Charity however walks her own path, no one stopping her but the limitations of her own will.
She will walk her path and everyone will have to follow.
