2-Leaving the Stab-DON'T TOUCH ME!!!!
Author's Note
WARNING STUPIDITY AHEAD DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NO HUMOR
Other than that have a laugh 
2-Leaving the Stab-DON'T TOUCH ME!!!!
Well hello, humans I see your back...well the ones with a sense of humor at least. Okay, so where was I…oh the robots that aren’t robots at all which sucks I really wanted to see some robots. Wait! I am getting off topic here… ah yes, I am in a room with three dead ponies and a Psycho who won’t stop smiling at me, I mean it’s creepy. Looking at the pretty psychotic white mare I weighed my options I could ask to leave with her and die outside or I can stay here and starve to death. Man, I am completely boned no matter which one I choose.
“Hey, kid are you gonna say something or are you just gonna keep staring at me?” Shining asked looking at me, yes she is still smiling that captivatingly stunning... Wait what the hell am I saying? her creepy as hell smile!!! But out of my two options, I guess sticking with creepy may be my best bet.
“Nothing I am just thinking about what I can do to survive without food miss,” I answered in the most innocent sounding voice I could manage.
“Well you could always become a cannibal,” She says leaning in closer to me...WAIT WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY?! I backed away slowly from the clearly deranged mare which Chuckles clicked happily next to… that traitor. She got closer and closer till she towered over me grinning like a cat who caught a mouse, then she let out a laugh as she backed away… I know you are looking at this story with confusion maybe you skipped the warnings.
“Man your so easy to scare little filly,” The white she-demon laughed as she stepped away from me. “I was joking but you completely believed me,” She continued between laughs, maybe I should stay here and take my chances with starvation.
“That is very immature for a full grown mare to do a child,” I commented to myself which she heard, and for some odd reason felt compelled to hug me...WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS MARE?!
“Sorry Cutie,” cutie? Did I hear her correctly? “I was having some fun with you,” She explained squeezing me tighter to her armor-clad chest...OH MY CELESTIA I THINK I NEED AN ADULT!!! I ignited my horn and tried to teleport away from this mare and it failed...NO You, IDIOT OF A WRITER, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS AREN’T YOU!!! With teleportation out I decided to do the only other thing I can do, I tried to push her away which as you may have guessed I could not push away the much bigger pony.
“HEY LET ME GO YOU FUCKING LUNATIC!!!” I yelled with my squeaky filly voice at the white unicorn who stop cuddling me and stepped away. “Thank you, now can you explain why your acting all lovey-dovey to me?” I asked Shining Saber who looked like she was about to faint from embarrassment.
“I kinda can’t help myself,” She paused, took a deep breath, and started to explain. “When I see a cute filly I kinda lose it okay, I think I may have a thing for fillies,” OF COURSE SHE DOES AND I BLAME YOU THE AUDIENCE AND THAT COMPLETE IMBECILE OF A WRITER. “I am sorry if I scared you,” She finished while I just stared at her with a face that was unreadable or at least I think it is.
So she likes fillies huh, well I can use that to my advantage to get to a town and get rid of this weird mare.
“Oh, is that all?” I asked with a sly grin on my face. “All you had to do is ask,” I said I know I am gonna hate saying that down the road, but I know it’s working cause Shining Saber to look at me with an expression that looked like a mixture of confused and curious. “Now I reacted the way I did cause you startled me with your forwardness okay,” I lied but hell I need her to help me get to the nearest town.
“Really? You don’t have a problem with me?” She asked clearly curious about what I was saying. “Well okay then, but I am gonna go out on a limb and say you are playing on my weakness so I will help you leave,” She stated with a smile as she completely saw through my little ruse.
“Fine you caught me,” I said sitting down and crossed my arms with an angry scowl on my face. “So let me guess you won’t help me now as revenge for my little act?”
“Naw I was going to say I will take you anywhere in the world if you just act like your cute self,” the perverted mare said...Great so your pandering to cliches Writer, seriously let me guess I am gonna fall for this pervert, well Writer I know this game and you shall not win!!!
“Okay but keep your hooves to yourself,” I agreed to Shining Saber’s terms with a warning who just smiled. “So where is the next town anyway? “ I asked the grinning mare.
“Oh about a few weeks walk from here,” She said with a smug grin. “So you’re stuck with my cutie,” She said seductively smiling at me.
“NOOOOO!!” I screamed in despair.
Hey you reader… Yes, I am talking to you. I need your help to convince this writer to take this story seriously… What do you mean no you won’t?... Come on are you still mad I called you an Imbecile, it was only a joke. I mean it wasn’t funny at the moment but it’s pretty funny now right come on, please I don’t want to leave with this pervert, please help.
End of chapter two
The Prologue you don't want to miss
Author's Note
Welcome to my first comedy story that pokes fun at a lot of weirdness in the Fallout Equestria story and it's many side fics so have fun.
on another note this story's war starts during the events of party pooped (The episode where the Yaks were introduced.) so Changelings are still the scarier black ones.
The Prologue you don't want to miss
Hello everypony if your here, then you have read the three warnings and are still hell bent on reading this. Anyway let’s start with basics shall we, my name is Lone Shadow and before you laugh about the stupidity of my name you try to think of something better in a place that is constantly dark and your the only one there...Shut up I see you actually thinking about it and I find it insulting.
Okay I guess I will tell you more about me I guess, I am a fun sized unicorn...What do I mean by fun sized? Man you humans ask a lot of questions it means I am most likely to be mistaken for a filly than a full grown mare... Don’t laugh at me! Now where was I oh yeah my appearance, I have a silver coat and an onyx black Mane that covered my right eye, which bye the way are a stunning metallic gold anyway that’s it nothing else to tell you...
My cutie mark? Umm I don’t know I mean it’s kind of dumb and I really don’t want to subject you to such stupidity...You want to know, really? Well okay I warned you, I have a light bulb as a cutie mark which I think stands for curiosity, but I really don’t know what it means.
Okay now with the meta stuff and you know a bit about me let’s start the prologue.
Okay so long ago there was this war okay, it was a fight between Equestrian Allies (Zebras and Saddle Arabians because it makes more sense) and the Yak allegiance(Changelings and Minotaurs you know makes sense). Okay so the fighting lasted about fifty years until it ended abruptly when megaspells rained from the sky that engulfed the planet in dark magic that warped the landscape. Those that survived did so in mech- Wait a minute you already know this so skip to the quote and just keep on going.
“War, war is a fucking dumb idea and we should stop having them”-Lone Shadow, 2018
