Author's Note
This is a 100%, completely different style story than anything I've ever written, so it's up in the air. I had to write this due to a lost bet with Carapace, so I figured if I was outside my comfort zone anyway, I may as well just go all in.
Let me know what you all think!
Buyer's Remorse
A still silence lay over the darkened room like a heavy blanket. The only noises breaking up the flow of the room was the occasional clink of a fork touching a plate; a sip of wine followed by the soft clink of the glass being placed upon the table. Licking her lips, Rarity hesitantly flicked her gaze up at her wife, Twilight, wondering what was on her mind. Her eyes darted across her face, searching for anything that would give her insight into her thoughts, but it was to no avail.
Rarity gently picked up her fork, wrapping it in her magical aura. The mare delicately snatched up a bite of her pasta. She eyed the softened noodles, glossed over with various cheeses and herbs. Maybe the occasional piece of eggplant or tomato found its way onto her fork, but it mattered not. It always tasted the same: bland, uninspired and dull.
She set the fork back down on her plate, not even giving it the time of day at this point. Rarity brought her eyes up to see the mare across the table, once more. Twilight was doing the same as always. She took the occasional bite of food whilst having an open book out next to the plate. Her magic gripped her food for her, an aura of purple wafting around the scene. Using her clean and pristine hoof to flip the pages of the book, she made sure to never cause a hint of damage to something so important to her as her latest reading material. Never once breaking her attention away from the day’s novel she decided to take with her, Twilight would barely utter three words at dinner, these days.
Rarity couldn’t remember the last time they had any kind of meaningful conversation at the meal table. Even arranging the time for them to eat together had been proving to be a challenge. However, today… today was supposed to be different. It was their first anniversary, after all. As opposed to just coming down for dinner as per the usual, Rarity took all the time she needed to make sure she looked perfect. Perfectly done mane, the most ravishing eyeliner she could find, filed hooves, brushed fur, the nicest perfume she owned… you name it, she did it. All for the sake of trying to make their special night at least an average one.
All she requested of Twilight was to prepare the meal, which she agreed to. However, as she had already noticed, this was the same as any other meal they’ve prepared in the past. Worse even. Nothing remarkable at all.
Or maybe there was. Maybe Rarity just couldn’t see it. After all, she couldn’t think of a recent time where anything had any sort of flavor to it. The food, all of it, was bland. Her bed was providing her with less comfort on a daily basis. Her favorite books provided no entertainment. Her favorite pieces of artwork were devoid of color. Her sister’s jokes failed to make her laugh. Gem hunting with Spike seemed more of a chore than a hobby. And, of course, spending time with Twilight drained her more every time she saw her. She felt a little piece of her wear down every time they touched. Every time they passed and she caught her all-too-familiar scent, her head ached. Every time they kissed... she could feel her heart sink further into her chest.
But, the worst of it was that she couldn’t do anything about it. Everything she tried either made things worse or put up a temporary blockade to the negativity, only to have it torn down the next time they had a disagreement. All she kept doing was putting a bandage on the same gaping wound, one that required stitches. No amount of covering it up could heal the damage between them.
But she kept trying. She always would. After all, what other choice did she have?
“Um Twilight, dear?” Rarity muttered out. “Are you enjoying your meal?”
Twilight barely took a second to raise her head. “Yes, I really, am. I kind of just made the same recipe I usually do. If it ain’t broke.”
Rarity forced a smile on her face. “I see. Well, I definitely understand that, darling. But, would you mind setting your book aside for a brief moment so we could talk?”
She darted her eyes up, looking at the half-hearted grin of her wife. Twilight nodded and set her book aside, giving Rarity her attention. “Okay. What did you need to talk about?”
“Oh, there’s nothing I need to chat about,” Rarity stated with a slight shrug. “I merely wanted to talk with you. What with your business trips out of town and me trying to operate my business out of the castle guest room, we really haven’t had much time to talk or see each other, really.”
“Yeah, I’ve noticed that,” Twilight said, the slightest tinge of warmth in her voice. “But, you know, there’s really nothing I can do about it. I’m required to go where I need to.”
Rarity bit down on her lower lip, stifling the grimace taking shape. “Well, yes, that is true. But a little time here and there wouldn’t hurt would it? Just for us two.”
“I give you time,” Twilight said. “We’re having time right now, aren’t we?”
The unicorn shook her head. She could feel the heat building up inside her, so she had to make sure to choose her words carefully. She thought for a moment about how to respond to get through to her. There really wasn’t anything incorrect about what Twilight was saying. And she also knew that Twilight had never once done anything intentional to hurt her. But, unfortunately, it was all the usual things Twilight’s always done that were tearing her heart to pieces.
“I suppose we are,” Rarity said as calmly as could be. “But, it would be a pleasant surprise if more time like this could be set aside. Sometimes…” Rarity took a deep breath before completing her thought. “Sometimes, I can’t help but feel like I’m the only one putting in any effort towards our future.”
Everything in the room paused. No sound, no voice, no emotion. The shadows in the corners of the room seemed to engulf the couple as each found no words to say. The only thing to be heard was a sharp ringing in their ears as the silence continued.
Twilight made the first move to break the silence. She scooted her plate of food to the side and leaned forward. “Rarity, what are you talking about?”
She wanted to continue, she really did. But having another scene with her wife was just something she really couldn’t take. Not tonight. “It’s nothing, darling. Just forget I said anything.”
“No, I won’t,” Twilight stated, a coldness in her voice, akin to a sharp, icy wind. “I won’t forget it. Where did you get the idea to even say that? I’ve worked so hard for the last year now to make you happy!”
Rarity followed suit, tossing her plate to the side with much less elegance than Twilight did. “Oh really? Then why is it always such a battle to even see you for more than a few minutes at a time?”
“I don’t know,” she replied. “Why don’t you tell me? Could it be all the work you do in the castle? Or maybe it’s all the extra time you spend outside on the town when I’m at home trying to occupy myself. You say I never do anything, so I guess letting you move into the castle, getting you big name clients and sectioning off an entire bathroom just for you doesn’t qualify as anything special, huh?”
“It does, Twilight!” Rarity screeched out, fighting back tears. “But it’s not what I want. All I wanted was for tonight to be special. It’s our anniversary! I spent hours getting ready and what did you do? Make the same lackluster dish for dinner you always do. I just… I just don’t even know what to do anymore.”
A few tears began to drip down Twilight’s cheeks as well. “Well fine then. I’m sorry I’m not everything you hoped I would be. If I can’t make you happy with what I do, then… then… then I don’t even know how to fix it.”
And that was the moment when Rarity had heard enough, Tears freely flowing from her eyes she darted away from the table and streaked up the stairs, leaving a balling Twilight in her wake. She didn’t care, though. She couldn't’ care. Not now. Not tonight. She just needed to let it all out and think.
Rarity continued galloping at full speed until she finally reached her and Twilight’s room. After locking the door behind her, she looked over the room, the two separate beds on either side. She leaped over to the bed on the left side and buried her face in the mattress.
She cried out, screaming into her pillow. Pounding it with her hooves over and over again. She couldn’t do anything but let her emotions out. She didn’t even know what emotions she felt at this point. Sadness? Pain? Anger? Fear? Her brain was callously flipping the pages of a book, unsure where it had left off before. Every flip led to a new welling of tears that were being soaked into the pillow. She wanted it to stop. She wanted to be able to sit herself up and make a rational decision on what she wanted to do. She wanted so many things… but life wasn’t about to give her what she wanted. It hadn’t for a long time.
Taking a few deep breaths, Rarity could finally see through the curtain of tears that had blanketed her eyes for the past half-hour. She had a massive headache still, but it would hopefully go away in due time. She wasn’t about to leave her room to get medicine. Not like this.
She rubbed a hoof across her face, wiping away the dampness. When she pulled her hoof away, she could see a streak of black from her mascara running over the hoof she spent well over an hour filing to perfection. And she didn’t even want to think about how hard she had looked for the perfect mascara and eyeliner to wear for the occasion.
Rarity let out a small chuckle. It was rather fitting that the night would end like this. A dinner ending in tears and fighting, three hours of preparation completely wasted. Why would she expect anything less after she wasted the enitre last year?
Rarity’s eyes shot open. Did… Did she really just allow that thought to enter her mind. She shook her head violently in an attempt to quell any more thoughts like that from creeping up. She loved Twilight. There was no mistaking that.
But why did she feel so miserable? If she loved her, shouldn’t it be easier than this? How did it ever get to this point?
Rarity’s mind traveled back to the years before when she first took an interest in Twilight. She always found her rather cute. Not necessarily in a romantic way, but just her mannerisms and how hard she worked for her friends. It wasn’t until about a year and a half ago before she realized she had an actual interest in her.
They were at a local couple’s dance that the mayor had arranged for Ponyville. All of their friends had partners to go with. Even Spike had a date with Flitter that night. But, the two of them were alone. No special somepony to attend with. So, on a whim, they decided to go together.
It was nothing at first. Just a couple of friends enjoying a night out together. They talked about the usual things, Business, friendship problems, the regular fare. But, it wasn’t until Twilight asked Rarity to dance that something changed.
She remembered being taken by a hoof to the dance floor. At first, there was a regular dance song on. More of a let-loose and party style. But soon after, a slower, romantic song emanated across the room. The track had definitely been picked out for the couples. However, Twilight didn’t leave the dance floor. Instead, they moved closer to each other and danced. No words, no thoughts… just movement and touch.
It was all she needed. Things escalated so quickly from there, Rarity couldn’t remember what exactly happened. All she knew, though… was how much she missed it. How much she wanted it back. How long she’s tried to make things right. ...How long it’s taken her to realize she’ll never be happy with Twilight. How Twilight isn’t what she wants.
How there’s nothing she can do to change that.
Rarity sat up on the bed and rose her left hoof in front of her face. She looked at the wedding band delicately wrapped around her lower leg. A bright gold band with hints of silver reflecting from it. Various rubies lined up around the outside of it, providing a beautiful accent. Not to mention the beautifully cut diamond adorning the front of it.
It was, by far, the most beautiful shackle she would ever see.
