Lanky and the Nyoom

by Damaged

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Romance, Fluttershy
Length: 3526

Rainbow Dash is being hunted, and by Fluttershy no less.

Hearth's Warming day, and Rainbow Dash is being hunted through the streets of Ponyville—by Fluttershy. What did Rainbow Dash manage to do to urge Fluttershy into such action? The answer is within.

Spoiler: they kiss

Story inspired by: Dilarus' amazing work. Also, they provided the amazing art for the cover, and for the story itself. Show them some love.

Edited by: PeerImagination

See This Blog for licensing.

Published 2018-01-31 21:50:06 UTC
Last updated 2018-01-31 21:50:06 UTC

Run, Rainbow, Run

The sky—Rainbow Dash knew—was a bad place to be. It wasn't that she couldn't fly, but that she had done her job early today, and had cleared the sky of regular clouds completely. She looked up and saw just one spot anypony could hide in the sky: her own cloud home. Despite it being just the day after Hearth's Warming, there was not a cloud she could hide in.

Rainbow Dash was standing in the middle of Ponyville, and it was market day. Ponies had carts and tables all around the edges of the town square, and the general feeling was excitement at the prospect of socializing and picking up some bargains.

Nearby, Thunderlane was talking with Applejack about the correct use of cinnamon in apple pies, and he fluffed his wings against the cold, seemingly at random.

Only a vaguely Rainbow-Dash-shaped cloud remained where the panicked pegasus previously presided. A flash of rainbow-colored light zigzagged through the crowd of ponies, causing manes and tails to swish in the speed of the air following it. Vaguely heard was, "She's coming!" repeated over and over, like the terrified chant of a foal on Nightmare Night.

"Rainbow Dash!" Pinkie Pie had been done with her baking for the day, and was working at the front counter of Sugarcube Corner. She had just finished serving Derpy Hooves her lunch-muffin, when she found a light-blue pegasus hiding in her mane. "What're you doing in there, silly?"

"Hidin'." Rainbow Dash, not a large pony, nonetheless fit only her body within Pinkie Pie's mane. "I can't see her, can you see her?" Try as she might to pull her head into Pinkie's mane as well, Rainbow Dash kept sticking other limbs out whenever she tried.

Addressing Rainbow Dash's left-back leg, Pinkie Pie gestured into the small group of ponies waiting to be served. Everypony knew not to rush Pinkie Pie. "See who? Twilight? Mayor Mare?"

Rainbow Dash pulled in the errant leg, and both her wings shot out of each side of Pinkie Pie's mane, making it look like she had a pair of sky-blue wings attached to her head. "No, Pinkie. Flutter—" She never finished the sentence. The doorbell of Sugarcube Corner rang, and the first note hadn't even finished chiming than a rainbow wash of color departed Pinkie Pie's mane.

Pinkie Pie, briefly confused over her sudden, personal lack of pegasus, brightened as another of her friends arrived. "Fluttershy! Rainbow Dash was just looking for you."

Normally, Fluttershy slumped a bit. She kept her shoulders back, she bent her back legs a little more than normal, and she hid behind half her mane. But today, the taller-than-your-average pony wasn't hunched down and back, she was leaning forward. Fluttershy's nose twitched, and one of her forehooves was still raised—she looked the very picture of a predator.

"Is she, now?" Her tone was not her usual softness; this Fluttershy sounded eager for something. "Did she say where she would be looking next?" A pair of tiny fangs flashed as Fluttershy spoke, remnants of her time involved in batty behavior, and somehow appropriate to her present occupation.

Reaching up to her mane, Pinkie Pie rummaged around in it. She pulled out Gummy, a surprised-looking sturgeon fish (that somehow didn't seem distressed by its sudden lack of water), and a hat that looked suspiciously like Trixie's. "I know I had her in here, somewhere."

Having watched the entire event unfold, Princess Twilight Sparkle stepped forward. Her height matched Fluttershy's own, but she was more filled out. Where Fluttershy was a tall, slim mare, Twilight looked like a scaled-up version of a regular pony. "I think she flew out the window just as Fluttershy came in."

One of Fluttershy's ears turned toward Twilight, then her head followed. "Did she?" Yellow lips curled up at the corners, and her smile put those little fangs on display.

"Duh. Silly me. Of course she did." Pinkie Pie giggled despite (or perhaps because of) Fluttershy's odd behavior. "I bet she went to Rarity's. 'Pinkie Pie,' she always told me, 'If Fluttershy is ever chasing me, looking like a recreation of the hungriest timber-wolf of all time, I'd definitely hide where she would never think to look.'"

"Carousel Boutique," Rarity said, turning her attention toward the front door of her showroom. She paused. She hadn't actually heard the front door open and close, nor could she see somepony, but years in retail had honed her senses beyond anything merely supernatural: she knew a potential customer was present.

Azure eyes scanned the room. She had her usual assortment of chic dresses on display, all resting on ponequins, as well as a special item she had made up on order. Sitting in the middle of the room, squeezed into a lava-proof, tear-resistant, lightweight dress designed for Dragon-Lord Ember (Rarity almost needed her fainting couch just at the mention of Ember's amazing title) was Rainbow Dash.

The dress almost fit Rainbow, if you were fine with your ponies only being able to walk on two legs and having a dress that pooled on the ground around them. She tried to hold the same pose the dragoquin had been in, but only made herself gasp as the impossibly strong dress gripped around her body.

Rarity pondered ignoring Rainbow Dash in favor of making her suffer for Rarity's art just a little more. "Take that off this second before it tears you." Though the dress had looked completely silly on Rainbow Dash, the fall of it from a pony's body had given her ideas to try in her next creation. "Carefully, dear, you don't want to do yourself an injury."

"R-R-Rarity," Rainbow Dash said, her voice reflecting the fact both her lungs were gripped in a most unnatural way. When cornflower-blue magic unfastened the clasp at the back of the dress, Rainbow Dash could breathe again, and even start to climb free of the outfit. "I need somewhere to hide."

It wasn't often Rarity had fate deliver a gift to her hooves, but she knew that when such a thing happened, it was best to use your magic to grab it—your hooves might slip, after all. "Of course, darling, I have just the thing." Using her magic, Rarity delivered Rainbow Dash from the draconic dress and floated her gently to the ground.

Her urge to flee kicked in again, and Rainbow Dash spread her wings to make a rush for the window. Only she didn't move a whisker. Blue magic still glowed around her, and even lifted her slightly off the ground. "Hey! What gives?"

"Rainbow Dash, you have come to the right place." Rarity put heavy emphasis on her words. She gestured forward, having to turn Rainbow Dash in place to see where she pointed.

Staring at the suddenly open Closet, Rainbow Dash saw dress upon dress stored within. It was like Discord himself had made a sub-dimension that bent the rules of reality to allow a fabric density so great that the light from the deeper parts couldn't escape the mass of frills. "Oh fu—"

Rarity redirected her magic to push Rainbow Dash's mouth closed. "Please, Rainbow, no cursing. A lady doesn't curse." When in the grip of a "fashion moment," Rarity's magic was on-par with the greatest of unicorn magicians. She kept Rainbow Dash pinned in place, while a parade of ponequins, bearing the most extraordinary dresses actually trotted themselves out of the Closet. "To say I had dreamed of this day, Rainbow-dear, would be an understatement. I was created for this day."

Fluttershy's first instinct, upon spotting her prey, was to pounce in and confront Rainbow Dash. But watching was much more fun. Sitting at the window, watching as Rarity dressed Rainbow Dash up in outfit after outfit, was possibly better than her own plans.

Prench maid uniform.

A ballgown suitable for a princess attending the Grand Galloping Gala.

Swathes of almost completely transparent veils that hid almost every part of Rainbow Dash terribly.

When Rarity slipped a wedding gown of white over Rainbow Dash's head, however, Fluttershy's breathing stopped. Her eyes widened at her friend striking a pose (manipulated deftly by Rarity's magic), and when she managed to get her lungs working again, she gasped.

The spell was broken. Rarity turned to face the origin of the peeping tom, and her magic released Rainbow Dash, the parading ponequin, and the doors of the Closet. A rush of negative pressure grabbed at everything made of cloth, and with a whipping WOOSH, all the ponequins were sucked into the void Closet, and the doors crashed closed.

Having shielded her eyes from the intense event, Fluttershy only spied Rarity in the middle of the boutique. Rainbow Dash was gone. She jerked her head up, and looked around.

"Fluttershy? Dear, why are you hiding out there?" Rarity did her best to ignore the Closet, the device being wonderful for storing a multitude of dresses, but it was also greedy and would rarely give up a prize once gained. Rarity often spent time having to talk the Closet into letting her have an old dress, and giving it several new ones in the negotiations.

Dipping her head back down a little, Fluttershy barely had her eyes above the level of the window now. "I was looking for Rainbow Dash." Telling Rarity reminded her of her hunt. She stood straighter, and her head snapped around looking for the errant pegasus. "She took something, and I am going to get it back."

Rarity opened her mouth to reply to Fluttershy, but at that moment a long strap of linked belts lashed out of the Closet and grabbed the brand-new dress for Ember. Power flared along her horn, and she stomped her way over to the "tongue."

"Oh no you don't! You can have that old chiffon piece, but not this one!" Plucking her sewing sheers from a nearby table, Rarity did battle with the belt. "Sorry, dear, I am a little busy at the mome— BACK I SAID!"

Leaving Rarity to her wardrobe emergency, Fluttershy lifted her chin and sniffed at the air. Her face split into a wide grin as she caught a scent on the breeze. "Of course Rarity would add perfume. You can't hide what you did from me, Rainbow Dash."

Just like Harry the bear would get when he spotted a loaded berry bush, Fluttershy leaned into a loping gait. She didn't trot, canter, or gallop; Fluttershy ran like a beast with its target in sight.

Rainbow Dash was not able to go her full speed. Between the bridle gown she wore and the outrageous shoes Rarity had strapped on, she had no chance of outpacing Tank, let alone Fluttershy. Her wings paddled at the air, and she tried desperately to unhook the dress.

"This is crazy. How did she get a wedding dress for me that fits this well? Ugh! I can't find the zip!" Rainbow Dash's struggles had slowed her further, but her target was in sight: Sweet Apple Acres.

Surrendering to the dress (for now), Rainbow Dash made for the farm's big barn, and just as she slipped inside she looked back. Eyes fixed on Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy's hooves struck divots out of the packed earth of the road. "N-N-No…"

Rainbow Dash's mind raced, and she had a life-flashed-before-her-eyes moment, only all she got was the previous night: Hearth's Warming Eve.

Rainbow Dash knocked on Fluttershy's front door. It was early evening, but their plan was on track. Wrapped in a warm, winter scarf, Rainbow Dash shivered a little as she waited. And waited. She lifted her hoof to knock again, when Fluttershy opened the bottom-half of the door.

It was an old joke, but given the chilling temperature outside, Rainbow Dash wasn't going to stand around and argue with her best friend about height-jokes. "HeyFlutterstoocoldgoinginside."

Fluttershy giggled at Rainbow Dash's reaction, and she closed the lower door. "Did you bring it, Rainbow?" It wasn't so much that she didn't trust her friend, but Rainbow Dash frequently forgot little things when the big picture was so much brighter.

"The cocoa? Of course." Fluffing her wings out at the fire, Rainbow Dash lifted the hard little packet out from under one, and a little box from the other. The box was wrapped in paper, twirled in ribbons, and had taken Rainbow Dash most of the afternoon to try to wrap. Of course, she had given up and raced to Pinkie Pie to get her to wrap it, in the end.

Fluttershy's stance changed. She stood up a little straighter, her wings fluffed out a little, and she seemed to glow with happiness. "Thank you, Rainbow." Taking the cocoa, Fluttershy found herself almost prancing to the kitchen. "How much cocoa do you want with your sugar?"

The question made Rainbow Dash chuckle, but it warmed her heart to see her normally skittish friend so relaxed and happy. "You know the answer to that, Flutters. If you left it up to me, I would have a mug of sugar." She carried the gift with her toward the kitchen.

"One will do, then." Fluttershy, in her cramped, just-big-enough-for-a-tall-pegasus kitchen, measured out the cocoa into two cups, and started filling the big mugs with milk she had been preparing on the stove for Rainbow Dash's arrival. When something bumped into her hip, Fluttershy turned her head to see Rainbow Dash standing just behind her.

A grin caught at the edge of Fluttershy's mouth. She plucked up the plate of cookies she had made, as well as the two hot cocoas, and backed up.

Rainbow Dash saw a wash of pink hair pour over her, and ducked. "Fluttershy!" The silly game had started after Fluttershy had a growth spurt when they were fillies. Rainbow Dash was about to shuffle backwards, but it was too late: she was trapped under her friend.

Glancing down, Fluttershy let out a singularly happy giggle. "You're so cute, Rainbow." With the forward part of her barrel pressed to Rainbow Dash's withers, their shoulders were aligned perfectly.

"Don't say it!" A war took place in Rainbow Dash's head. Her heart was clubbing her pride down, using Fluttershy's delight as means and ends.

Fluttershy arched her neck down so she was nose to nose with Rainbow Dash, but seeing her friend upside down. "You're so smol." She shortened the sound for "small" so that it was more a cute in-joke than any kind of put-down.

"P-Presents." Rainbow Dash, her nose so close to Fluttershy's they could kiss, gulped and tried to back away from the situation. Turning to the side, she managed to extract herself from Fluttershy's underside without anything untoward happening. "We should totally open our presents."

"Alright, Rainbow." Fluttershy let a little giggle free. From experience, Fluttershy knew Rainbow Dash never acted awkward; instead, the compact pegasus would act foalish. Adding the blush Rainbow Dash still wore into the equation, and Fluttershy almost melted. "Could tonight be the night?" she said, sotto voce.

Turning and walking, with the two cups on one tray, and some cookies on another, Fluttershy set them down on her coffee table and took a seat. "You're the guest, so you can open yours first."

Presents were, for Rainbow Dash, just about the best part of Hearth's Warming. Nonetheless, she reached for a cookie before taking the box Fluttershy passed her. "Mmm, these're good!" She tried to ignore the happy flutters her heart gave, and started tearing away the paper.

Despite the present being bigger than its recipient, Rainbow Dash quickly got enough of the paper off to open the box, and looked inside. "Is the whole box full of scarf?" Her voice held reverence. Rainbow Dash reached into the box and lifted out one end of the long, knitted garment.

Fluttershy nodded, her own trepidation pushed down by Rainbow Dash's obvious delight. "What did you get me?"

It was the moment Rainbow Dash had been planning for. The moment was so cozy, so warm, that she was hesitant to go through with the prank. But, Fluttershy knew what Rainbow Dash was like, so surely she would see the funny side of such a thing, or so Rainbow Dash was suddenly hoping. She took out her own box and passed it to Fluttershy. "This one's for you."

"Thank you, Rainbow Dash." Fluttershy used her hooves to strip the paper off the small, light box. Just before opening it, she looked up at Rainbow Dash and saw eagerness. When she lifted the lid and saw a small sprig of mistletoe, her breath caught in her throat.

It was the right moment, Rainbow Dash realized, to point and laugh at the prank. She lifted her wing just as Fluttershy did, but Fluttershy's had the mistletoe in it. Rainbow Dash's eyes widened as her best friend held the sprig above Rainbow Dash's head.

"There is a tradition…" Blushing a little, Fluttershy turned her ears to the side and leaned down. Her lips touched Rainbow Dash's, and for a single moment the world was right. Her eyes trembled and closed, and she started to push forward into the kiss.

Suddenly, where warm lips had been, Fluttershy felt only their absence. She opened her eyes to see Rainbow Dash, her wings pumping hard, racing out the front door. Shock came first, then a touch of anger. Fluttershy's emotions became a turmoil of feelings, but they all agreed on one thing: she had to find Rainbow Dash and talk. Half of her emotions wanted more, but the talking was at least a unanimous decision.

Racing from her friend's house, Rainbow Dash kept up a single litany. "Feathers. Feathers. Feathers. Feathers." Panic filled her, and there was only one safe place she could go to think over the best and worst prank ever: home.

"Wait!" Rainbow Dash, back in the present, was trapped in the barn with Fluttershy doing her best timber-wolf impression in the open doorway. The wedding dress Rainbow Dash wore had managed to tangle her wings completely, and Rarity's shoes were clinging tenaciously to her hooves.

Fluttershy raised a single eyebrow. "'Wait'? Do you want to talk now?" She took another step toward Rainbow Dash, and then her whole demeanor changed. Gone was the predatory stalking, and instead Fluttershy walked slowly, gracefully toward Rainbow Dash. "Like how you set me up for a kiss and then ran away?"

"It wasn't what it seemed!" Glancing left and right for some avenue of escape, Rainbow Dash realized there was none. With nopony but herself in any "danger," the Element Bearer of Loyalty had none of the will to actually fight—and the thought of actually fighting Fluttershy sobered Rainbow Dash further. "It was stupid. It was meant to be a prank."

Too late Rainbow Dash saw the impact her words had. Fluttershy's face registered real pain. "Wait, not a prank. I mean, it started as a prank but then—" She froze as Fluttershy's lips met hers.

The soft touch of her best friend's mouth was everything Rainbow Dash remembered from the previous night. Her eyes widened, and it felt to her like it took ten seconds before her heart started again.

Then something broke in Rainbow Dash, but unlike the previous night, she closed her eyes. Bravery was core to Rainbow Dash's very being, and that bravery wouldn't let her run from something that made her friend smile—and felt so good.

Slowly pulling back, Fluttershy's heart soared when Rainbow Dash pushed forward a little in an attempt to maintain the kiss, but it needed to end. Her lips felt cold, lonely. Fluttershy wanted nothing more than to lean back in for another kiss, but instead she smiled. "That wasn't a prank."

Of course it was a prank, Rainbow Dash thought. I wouldn't have those kinds of feelings for Fluttershy. Rainbow Dash looked up at her friend's face, and the panicking part inside her suddenly quelled and was replaced with warmth instead. "I-I-It wasn't."

"Didn't think so." Fluttershy sat down, which had the benefit of tilting her head a little higher up. "You look good in that, Rainbow." Her eyes traced the wedding dress, disheveled as it was, and she could see several trapped twigs and sticks.

Looking back over herself, her expression that of confusion, Rainbow Dash realized she was wearing the pure-white dress of a bride. "Th-This isn't what it looks like! It's a—" She turned back to Fluttershy to keep making excuses, but caught another direct hit on the lips.

Caught in a trap well-laid, panic fled Rainbow Dash, and a smile pulled the corners of her lips up to match Fluttershy's.

Author's Note

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A.P.O.N.I.
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