All Hail Prince Rumble!

by Stratocaster

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Luna, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Adventure, Rumble, Princess Celestia, Thunderlane, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 22111

One of Ponyville's youngsters gets the job of a lifetime.

As a newly initiated Crusader, Rumble has become determined to prove that he can be anything, no matter what his future cutie mark says. But what will the mysterious addition of a horn say? It seems that Rumble's epiphany has brought out his true form as an alicorn, the first ever male one. And to the princesses, this can only mean one thing: Rumble must become Prince of Equestria! Now the scrappy young colt is thrown into a life of royalty and must carry out the duties of a magical dignitary. Can Rumble handle the stresses of being the first Equestrian prince?...Well? Can he?!

Based on an idea by: blue-hart

Published 2018-02-04 20:00:06 UTC
Last updated 2019-06-16 03:08:09 UTC

Puberty?

All Hail Prince Rumble!

by Drunken Uncle Strat

Chapter 1: Puberty?

The lone bell at the Ponyville schoolhouse rung heralding another ended weekend and resumed learning. Fillies and colts gathered around outside the entrance, some discussing weekend plans and others how they would possibly survive another school day. At some point, Cheerilee would call them in to begin her lesson, but for now the energetic foals got in some freedom in the adjacent playground. The leaders of the Cutie Mark Crusaders strolled up the path to the schoolhouse together.

"So I just heard that one o' my cousins got her cutie mark yesterday!" said Apple Bloom.

"Alright!" replied Scootaloo. "Which cousin was it?"

"It was Apple...Crisp?" Apple Bloom took a moment to recall. "No no, it was Apple Tart I think. No that's not right. Apple Cinnamon? Is there an Apple Cinnamon? I feel like that's one o' dem."

"Well do you remember what the cutie mark was?" asked Sweetie Belle.

"Do ya even need to ask?" sighed Apple Bloom.

"Hey girls!" The three fillies looked back to see one of their newest initiates bounding up the path.

"Well heya, Rumble!" said Scootaloo as he approached. "We were starting to think you weren't showing up today. You're usually flying here pretty early."

"Eh, don't really feel like flying today for some reason." Rumble scratched his mane. "Anyway, I just want to say I hope there's still no hard feelings about yesterday. I kinda made a stink of things in the camp."

"Aw shucks, don't beat yerself up over it." Apple Bloom shrugged. "Everypony's got their own way of finding their lot in life."

"And that food you and your brother made was delightful!" added Sweetie Belle. "We can't hate you for that."

"Heh heh, thanks." Rumble tilted his head sort of limply.

"You okay, Rumble?" asked Scootaloo. "You look like you're about to faint."

"I'm fine." Rumble shook off his daze. "I just woke up with this splitting headache and I don't know why. I didn't do anything real strenuous last night. And my brother wasn't even clattering around in the kitchen this time. Ugh, I am so not up for school today."

"Well if you're feeling dizzy," said Sweetie Belle. "I'm sure Miss Cheerilee won't catch you sleeping through class this time."

"Yeah, I can only hope." Rumble murmured. "Let's just get this over with."

With another ring of the bell, the foals groaned as they reluctantly left the playground and herded into the tiny schoolhouse. They found their desks as Cheerilee prepared her lesson on the chalkboard, some of the early birds readily opening their notebooks for exhilarating learning. Some, including Rumble, hung their heads drearily over their desks and awaited a long, dull day.

"Good morning, class!" announced Cheerilee. "Today we'll be taking a look at some basic science."

"Wait what?!" Sweetie Belle raised her hoof. "Miss Cheerilee, you were just starting to teach us about the history of Canterlot last class! I know this is an elementary school, but why does the school board make us learn something completely different every day?"

"Oh ho Sweetie Belle, I am the school board!" Cheerilee carried on. "Now, to start off our lesson we'll be learning about the physics of sound waves."

"Ugh, I hate science." Rumble sulked to himself, feeling heavier in the head by the second. "Maybe this will go by quick."

"Every sound creates a pulsing wave through the air." Cheerilee continued. "And these waves bounce off of any surface in their way. Let's demonstrate with this cooking pot." She then began to bang a metal pot with a matching spoon.

Rumble reeled in his seat as the obnoxious clatter reverberated throughout the classroom and through his aching head. He covered his drooped ears and grimaced with disdain for his eccentric teacher's lessons.

"See, we can hear the sound waves from that." Cheerilee said. "But the pattern of sound is a little less detectable from a more high-pitched sound. Like this whistle!"

The ensuing screech of the whistle hit Rumble like a piercing needle. "You've gotta be kidding me!" he hissed to himself.

After a few more excruciating noises, Cheerilee procured a boombox. "Now we shall see how sound waves travel through condensing technology like this. As an example, here's some techno pop."

As soon as she pressed the play button, Rumble's headache soared to the point where he felt as if his eyes would burst out of their sockets. He let his head plop to the surface of his desk and slammed his hoof on it repeatedly.

"Is something the matter, Rumble?" asked Cheerilee after turning off the loud music.

"Uh...nothing at all, ma'am." Rumble answered dizzily. "Just light-headed, I guess.

The quirky teacher walked over to his desk and put a hoof on his forehead. "Oh my, you seem to be running a fever. You should head to the nurse right away."

"...We have a nurse?" replied Rumble. "This school is just one room."

"Go on, young man." Cheerilee insisted. "No sick students in this classroom."

"Uh, Miss Cheerilee?" Scootaloo raised her hoof. "I just remembered I've come down with a case of hay fever!"

"Scootaloo, you've come down with a case of baloney." Cheerilee glowered.

Struggling to get to his hooves, Rumble stood up and took his excusing from class with relief, much to the envy of his friends. But as he exited the schoolhouse, he had no idea where to head next after just hearing about Cheerilee employing a nurse. Lo and behold, there was a building close to the right of the schoolhouse that had a similar design. A red cross hung over the doorway.

"Well shut me up, we do have a nurse's office." Rumble said. "And yet our swing set is just wooden planks on rope."

With his dizziness increasing, Rumble slowly made his way across the path, shielding his eyes from the sun as not to exasperate his condition. He had no clue what to expect when he entered the small office several yards away. But he certainly did not expect a familiar face working inside.

"Ah, hello Rumble!" greeted Nurse Redheart. "How are you feeling today?"

"Nurse Redheart?" queried Rumble. "You work for the school now?"

"Well only part time." She replied. "I don't mind it, but I just don't have the patients! Ha ha ha ha...I'm really sorry. Anyway, is something wrong?"

"Yeah, I think I'm coming down with a fever." Rumble said. "My head has been killing me all morning."

"Then have a seat, dear." She gestured. "I'll fetch some ice and a thermometer."

Rumble sat on the medical bench and waited before the nurse handed him an ice bag. But even as he held the refreshing cold to his head, the pain did not diminish. It felt as if something was pulsing and throbbing right in the center of his forehead. He had the impression that this sudden fever would never go away.
Nurse Redheart placed a glass thermometer in his mouth and waited a minute for the red liquid to rise inside. However, the instrument was not telling her what she expected.

"That's strange." She said. "Your temperature is normal yet I can feel you're burning up."

"You sure that thing isn't broken?" groaned Rumble.

Nurse Redheart then put a stethoscope up to his chest and listened carefully. "And your pulse doesn't seem to be speeding up. I'm not seeing any signs of a fever."

"Well then what's wrong with me, Nurse?" asked Rumble, getting impatient. "I can feel it getting worse!"

"Hmm, well if ice isn't helping," said the nurse. "Then I guess it's time to resort to shock therapy."

"What?!"

"Hee hee, I'm kidding!" grinned Nurse Redheart. "Just a little nurse's joke."

"Okay now it's officially a migraine." Rumble glared.

"Don't worry, I'll find some painkillers you can take." Nurse Redheart turned to search through her cabinet.

At that point, Rumble was losing his composure. "Please, Nurse, I think something...really bad is...ohhhh..." With that, he began lying on the floor and clutching his head in agony.

"Rumble? Rumble! Oh goodness!" Nurse Redheart rushed over and knelt down to him. "Rumble are you okay? Can you tell me what's going on?"

It was impossible for Rumble to speak. The pain in the colt's forehead was drawing away his full attention. He writhed on the floor and moaned loudly as the throbbing seemed to burst from his skull.

"Rumble, please hang on!" came Nurse Redheart, unsure of how to help the poor foal. But then, in one instant, her worry all but disappeared.

POP!

"...Hey! It stopped!" beamed Rumble. "My head doesn't hurt anymore! I feeling much better!"

Nurse Redheart stared in frozen bewilderment. All she could let out of her mouth was a quivering hedging noise.

"Huh, I don't know what just happened, Nurse," Rumble said happily. "But whatever it was is gone now! Must of been one heck of a pang I guess."

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

"Well, thanks anyway, Nurse Redheart!" continued Rumble. "Oh man, does this mean I have to go back to class?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

"...I'll take that as a no!" Rumble gleamed and trotted out. "Seeya, Nurse!"

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

Finally relieved of his mysterious migraine, Rumble stretched his little wings and took to the air, deciding to play hooky for the rest of the school day. "Schoooooool's out...for...Rumble!" he sang as he sped above the Ponyville countryside. Just then, his brief moment of bliss was interrupted when he flew straight into the head of another flying pony, causing both of them to plummet to the ground after the collision. Rumble raised his head, feeling wooziness coming back to it. He then turned to see who it was he rammed into. "Oh gosh! Sorry about that, Miss Twilight!"

The purple princess shook off her daze and stood up. "Rumble? Shouldn't you be in school right now?" she looked at him quizzically.

Rumble stammered nervously. "I uh, I started feeling achy and I got excused from class. Oooooh my head, it's killing me!" He feigned and rubbed his temples.

"Well then please watch where you're going in the air." Twilight sighed. "You nearly took my eye out with your horn!"

"I'm really sorry, I just...my what?" Rumble raised a brow.

"Your horn! You almost got me with your..." Twilight paused and let the creeping realization wash over her.

"Pfff, okay Miss Twilight," chuckled Rumble sarcastically. "I'll be more careful with my 'horn'. You have a weird sense of humor for a princess, ya know. I'll just be on my way then." He then walked off down the dirt road, hoping not raise any suspicion from the adult pony. But he did not get far as Twilight quickly sped after and held him up by the sides.

"Rumble!" she blurted.

"Ah! What?! I said I was sorry!" exclaimed Rumble.

"You have a horn on your head! Like a unicorn's!" Twilight nearly shrieked in his face.

Rumble scoffed again as he brought his hoof to his forehead. "What are you talking about, Miss Twilight? Why would I have a- AAHHH! What is that?! What am I feeling?!"

"Here, look!" Twilight then manifested a magic mirror in her aura.

Rumble looked at his reflection and was immediately astounded. Surely enough, a small bony horn protruded from the center of his forehead. It was merely three inches long and not even close to being sharp enough to make a point. But a horn it was nonetheless. "Wha...this...this isn't real...It can't be!" he stammered. "This is some kind of trick!"

"Rumble, you said you were suffering head pain before, right?" asked Twilight.

"Well I was, but now it's gone and I just lied to get out of school." Rumble said, no longer caring. "Wait, you don't think that it was because of-"

"Yes I do!" said Twilight. "You must have just grown that horn a few moments ago! Do you know what this means, Rumble?"

"I'm going to die?" Rumble quivered.

"You're an alicorn!" Twilight beamed. "A male alicorn! I don't believe it!"

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Rumble stepped back a bit. "You think I suddenly became...like you? Not that there's anything wrong with that."

"What other explanation is there?" replied Twilight. "I never knew I was an alicorn until I grew these wings. The same thing must have happened to you with that horn! Tell me, Rumble, did you have any big life-changing epiphany lately?"

"Well now that you mention it, I do feel a bit gassy after oat burgers." Rumble said sheepishly.

"No I mean a sudden realization!" said Twilight. "Some important life lesson that brings out the best in you, and for some reason extra body parts?"

"No I don't think..." Rumble paused. "Actually, I did learn something in the Cutie Mark Crusader day camp. I realized that I don't have to let my cutie mark decide who I am and that I can achieve anything I want."

"That's it!" came Twilight. "It's that realization must have brought out the magic in you that makes you an alicorn! It's so simple!"

"...No it's not! What the actual hay are you talking about?!" burst Rumble.

"Look, Rumble, I know this must be quite scary for you." Twilight explained. "I still don't know much about alicorn transformations. That is, considering I'm the only pony I know that it's happened to. But I think I get you some help in figuring this out. I'm taking you to see Princess Celestia and Princess Luna right away."

"What?! In Canterlot?!" retorted Rumble. "But I've never been there! What am I supposed to tell my brother?! What am I supposed to tell anypony?!"

"I'm sure Thunderlane and your friends will understand in due time." Twilight said. "For now, we have to see if this transformation is legitimate. Looks like you'll get to be excused from school after all, Rumble."

"Not like this!" Rumble exclaimed and frantically ran down the road. "NOT LIKE THIS!"

"Rumble where are you going?!" Twilight called after. "The princesses need to know about this!"

Already with a head start, Rumble sped away from Twilight into town. This day was turning out to be a hectic cycle of surprises too much for the young colt to take. He took every measure to avoid passing ponies as he raced through the streets of Ponyville, as they would surely wonder what he was up to. Some even did a double take as they saw him zip by, unsure of whether he had actually grown a horn or not.
Eventually, he returned to the small house he shared with his older brother, Thunderlane, hoping he would have it to himself that day. Before anypony else could catch a glimpse of him, Rumble slammed the front door behind him, panting after his long run.

"Hey little brother, is that you?!"

"Gah!" Rumble yelped at the sound of his brother calling from the kitchen in back.

"How come you're not in school?" came Thunderlane again. "You're not trying to play hooky again, are you?"

"Uh, no!" Rumble called back. "I uh, I got excused 'cause I'm coming down with a fever. My head is really-" He then gasped, remembering his new forehead protrusion. Thinking quickly, he grabbed a scarf from the coat rack next to him and wrapped it around his head.

"Ah, sorry to hear about that." Thunderlane said, walking into the living room to see his little brother. "Need a drink or anything?"

"No no, I'm fine!" Rumble froze after hastily tying the scarf over his tiny horn.

"Well then why are you wearing my old Hearth's Warming scarf on your head?" asked Thunderlane, suspicious.

"Oh, this?" Rumble grinned sheepishly. "Heh heh, um, I-I'm trying to go for a fashion cutie mark with some of the Crusaders! Yeah, looks good, right?"

"Bro, that thing already looks tacky on anypony's neck." Thunderlane said flatly. "And if you're running a fever, that can't be good for your temperature. Why don't I get you some ice?"

"No really, Thunderlane, I'm okay!" replied Rumble as he hurried up the stairs. "I just need to get some sleep. I'm sure I feel better soon! No need to come into my room for any reason! Goodnight! I mean, day! Or whatever!" He said, until slamming the door to the bathroom.

"Hmm, maybe he had a little too much fun at that camp." Thunderlane pondered to himself. "Eh, he'll feel better once he tries my stuffed jalapenos!"

Upstairs, Rumble yanked off the ugly scarf, climbed a stool and stared into the mirror with disbelief. He poked at the stumpy horn, still hoping it was just an illusion. But it felt as real as the wings on his sides. Rumble opened the mirror cabinet, growing more and more frantic.

"This can't be real!" he told himself. "This just cannot be real!"

Rummaging through the cabinet, he procured a hoof file and again looked at his reflection with a deep breath. Rumble slowly began rubbing the file against the horn, thinking somehow that it would easily disappear. But after just a few seconds of filing, pain suddenly tinged down into his head.

"Youch!" he exclaimed and threw the file aside. "Oh man, it IS real! This thing is a part of me! But...why?!"

A knock came at the door. "Rumble? You okay in there, little bro?"

"Nothing! I mean, uh, fine! Er, yes!" stammered Rumble. "I'm just, uh, brushing my teeth!"

"Aw come on," said Thunderlane from outside. "You don't want to try some of my food?"

"I'm not hungry!" called Rumble, running the faucet to sound busy. "Just leave me alone, Thunderlane, I'm really not feeling well!...Really."

"Eh, alright." Thunderlane replied. "But can you at least hurry it up in there? I tried some of that chili I made earlier and it is not sitting well!"

"Uh, sure!" Rumble scrambled to refasten the scarf to his head, turn off the faucet and open the door. He tried strolling by his brother swiftly without drawing attention to his forehead.

"Oh for crying out loud." Thunderlane instantly swiped his scarf off the colt, before staring down at him in shock.

A bead of sweat dripped down Rumble's cheek as he froze and looked up at his suspecting brother.

"...Boy you really are out of it today." Thunderlane said after a cold pause. "You didn't even notice somepony put this fake horn on you."

"Oh! Uh, yeah!" Rumble chuckled. "I-I knew that was there! Heh heh heh, kind of a fantasy game we do at school sometimes, ya know? I uh...pretend to...be a unicorn...heh heh..."

"Huh, I know I said you could do anything," said Thunderlane. "But maybe that's a bit of a stretch. Let me see that."

He then quickly reached down and grabbed the horn, yanking backward hoping to pull if off. Instead, he managed to hurl his little brother over his shoulder and into the shower curtain in the bathroom. Thunderlane looked back and gasped before rushing in to see if Rumble wasn't hurt. Fortunately, the colt was only tangled in the dislodged curtain and lying in the bathtub, shaking off the velocity of being thrown by his athletic brother. But as he lay there in a heap, Rumble realized that his briefly held secret may have been exposed.

"That's...not a fake horn, is it?" Thunderlane queried.

"Uh, Thunderlane, I can explain!" Rumble quivered. "Oh who am I kidding, no I can't."

At that moment, the doorbell rang. Thunderlane started out of the bathroom and downstairs, but not before shooting Rumble a look of both concern and confusion. With his mind still hung up on the anomaly on his brother's head, Thunderlane answered the door.

"Thunderlane!" greeted Twilight. "Did your brother come home? There's something super important about him that we need to discuss."

Having realized the dire level of the situation now that Twilight was here, Thunderlane narrowed his eyes and called harshly. "RUMBLE!"

After a few moments, the younger brother sheepishly descended the stairs, looking much like a puppy that had just wet the carpet.

"You wanna tell me what the Discord is going on with you?" demanded Thunderlane. "And it better be the truth!"

"I really can't say!" Rumble said nervously, rubbing his shoulder.

"There's nothing to worry about, Thunderlane." Twilight explained. "But your brother has just recently grew that horn. And I suspect that he's just begun to awaken his powers as an alicorn."

Thunderlane stared at the purple mage in bafflement. "...How is that not something to worry about?!"

"Well, what I mean is I don't think it's a bad thing!" replied Twilight with a shrug.

"You're saying my brother is an alicorn?!" blurted Thunderlane. "How am I supposed to believe that?!"

"That's pretty much what I've been saying." Rumble said weakly.

"Relax, Thunderlane," said Twilight. "I just want to take Rumble to see Princess Celestia in Canterlot. If anything, she and Princess Luna will know what to make of this. If he truly is an alicorn, then only they can say what's in store for him."

"But I don't wanna go to Canterlot!" griped Rumble. "I don't wanna be an alicorn! You're not just gonna let me go, are you Thunderlane?"

The older pegasus said nothing at first. In just a few short moments, he was being forced to accept that his own brother was being turned into a slightly different, but extremely rare type of pony. At this point, Thunderlane gave up on trying to wrap his head around the reality.

"Rumble," he said. "I can't explain what's happening any more than you can. But if the princesses can confirm if you really are...you know, then I think that's the best bet. If you want, I'll even come with you and Twilight."

"But-but...do you realize how insane this sounds?!" frowned Rumble.

"Yes, I do." Thunderlane said. "But the proof is right there clear as day."

"Cheer up, Rumble," smiled Twilight. "You'll see it's not so bad having a horn. I mean, I wouldn't know what it's like not to have one. But I'm sure you'll grow attached to it! Uh, so to speak."

Rumble drooped and looked up at his new appendage. "I really wish this thing was just a weird growth."

"Hmm...how extraordinary..." Princess Celestia pondered as she stared close and intently at Rumble, encasing him in her magical aura.

With a seemingly permanent frown, Rumble sat in the middle of the castle throne room as the rulers of Equestria examined him like an anomaly of nature. It was rather intimidating for the small colt to be scrutinized by the towering goddesses in an unfamiliar place like Canterlot Castle. It did nothing to diminish the shock of suddenly growing a horn, which he still suspected was just a trick of some unknown curse.

Celestia stepped back after craning her neck down to him. "Very extraordinary indeed." She said, recalling her sparkling aura.

"Do you mean it's actually fake, Princess?" asked Rumble with a last shred of hope.

"No the horn is most definitely real without a hint of a doubt." Celestia replied. "And of course that would definitely make you an alicorn, young Rumble. But it's not every day when one is found."

"Verily this is a miracle!" beamed Princess Luna, standing beside Rumble across from her sister. "Another alicorn discovered in their youth! Fair Rumble, thou must feel just as Princess Twilight felt when her wings doth appeared!"

"You mean scared and confused and like I'm turning into a monster?" whimpered Rumble.

"Not really," said Twilight matter-of-factly as she stood next to Thunderlane. "I pretty much just accepted it and sang a song."

"No offense, Your Majesties," Thunderlane chimed in. "But I just can't really accept this. How can Rumble just suddenly turn into an alicorn?"

"The fact is, Thunderlane," said Celestia. "Rumble has always been an alicorn. But like with Twilight and Cadence, his full form would not have appeared until later during his youth. It seems though that Rumble is an early bloomer. This revelation he had concerning his eventual cutie mark must have awakened the missing part of him, that is, his natural magic. I can sense a weak aura emanating from him."

"But I don't know any magic!" retorted Rumble.

"Thou has never had a chance to." Luna told him. "For thou has never felt this power within until now."

"Just as I had felt my magic double in strength when my transformation happened." Twilight added. "I must say, Rumble, your situation is actually helping me learn more about myself."

"Oh I'm real glad about that, Miss Twilight!" Rumble glared.

"This is getting heavy." Thunderlane shook his head. "I mean, I thought alicorns were only female."

"That is what makes this so extraordinary." Celestia grinned. "In a court full of princesses, it appears that we are in the midst of a prince."

"...Say what?" came Rumble.

"Rejoice, Rumble!" exclaimed Luna, preparing her royal voice. "For thou hath been ushered forth as the first ever PRINCE OF EQUESTRIA!!!"

Thunderlane immediately fainted on the throne room floor, either from the shocking news or the sheer decibels of the moon princess's projected shout.

"Um, Princesses?" spoke Twilight. "Is that really set in stone? Can't Rumble just be an alicorn without being royalty?"

"It is a law of the ancients, Twilight." Celestia explained. "With a power like ours, Rumble must assume the utmost responsibility. He has been given a rare gift and so deserves royal praise. You must feel a great sense of pride, Rumble, now that you...Rumble?"

"No no no no no no no no no no NO!!!" shouted Rumble as he zoomed through the air out of the throne room and down the corridor. But just as quickly, he was apprehended in midair, surrounded again by Celestia's aura. He was levitated back into the large room and plopped on the gilded throne in the center.

"There is no need for panic, little stallion," said Celestia calmly. "This is a proud undertaking for you, especially at such a young age. And you will be treated with absolute comfort and respect."

"But I don't know anything about being a prince!" exclaimed Rumble. "I don't even know what I'm really good at yet! Does the term 'blank flank' mean nothing to you?!"

"He kind of has a point, Princess Celestia." Twilight added. "If Cadence is the Princess of Love, and I'm the Princess of Friendship, then what does that make Rumble the prince of? Don't you at least think it's a little early to be calling the shots?"

"NONSENSE, dear Twilight!" came Luna. "We must seize this opportunity post haste! Rumble shall be schooled in the ways of an Equestrian ruler. And yea, he shall discover his true potential!"

"Of course," said Celestia. "Rumble shall receive the finest education as a prince, and find what he is truly good at in the process. And I have a strong feeling that his talent will benefit all of Equestria. But we will not find out unless he sees for himself. Rumble, what say you? Shall we give your role as prince a trial run?" she asked with a wink.

Rumble darted his eyes between the three princesses, being bombarded with yet more surprises. He felt as if he was being thrown into a trap from which he could not escape. The very thought of being Equestrian royalty was daunting enough without having to be too young to even hold a part-time job. Every little voice in his mind was screaming for him to get out.
But the mention of realizing his potential struck seemed to strike a chord with him. After all, he had wanted to prove that he was good at something for as long as he followed in his brother's shadow. And the lesson he learned from the Cutie Mark Crusader day camp made him feel, for the first time, that he could truly achieve anything. Perhaps this would be the calling he had looked for. Perhaps this would bring out what made him Rumble.

With a moment's deliberation, he finally answered. "I guess I'll do it."

"SUPERB!" blared Luna, who had unnoticeably darted out of the room for a moment. "I hath already gathered the citizens of Canterlot to officially welcome our new addition to the Equestrian monarchy!"

Twilight looked at her strange blue mentor. "Huh? When did you-"

"Come, little one!" Luna then grabbed Rumble in her own aura and hurried out through the corridor.

Rumble gawked as he was carried, in a blur, to the outdoor balcony that overlooked the front courtyard. On the cobblestone below, hundreds of ponyfolk crowded in front of the castle to witness a momentous occasion in Equestrian history. They cheered with elation at the very sight of the little gray colt being held up and exhibited like a sacred treasure. The sound and sight were almost too much for Rumble to take. Shortly, Celestia joined her sister, levitating a small purple silk cape and a crown of silver and sapphire.

"Citizens of Equestria!" she announced to the crowd. "I give you your first prince of all ponies! May he reign long in a an era of peace and prosperity!" She then placed the cape and crown upon the suspended colt, both being too big for him. "All hail Prince Rumble!"

"ALL HAIL PRINCE RUMBLE!!!" the ponies cheered and whooped with praise for their new royal heir.

Rumble continued to stare in anxiety, wishing very dearly that he was back in school asleep at his desk.

Diplomacy?

Chapter 2: Diplomacy?

Rumble sat slumped in his upholstered chair at halfway along the long mahogany dining table, uncomfortable in a surrounding of extreme comfort. He used the sterling silver fork, one of the ten placed to his left arranged by size, to stir around the meal presented to him on fine china. The meal contained a bland, pasty mound of some type of tofu delicacy, intricately stacked micro sized greens, and a mysterious, gooey substance called roe. It was hard for Rumble to believe that only a week ago he had been eating oat nuggets with sugar-laden orange juice.

"So, Prince Rumble," said Princess Celestia on her end of the table. "How are you enjoying royal living so far?"

"Uh, I guess." Rumble muttered, avoiding eye contact. "It's just not what I'm used to. You two don't feel a bit weird living with all this...rich stuff?"

"NONSENSE, Prince Rumble!" blurted Princess Luna on the other side. "Monarchs are deserving of a lavish lifestyle!"

"Well, as much as I do get tired of luxury," admitted Celestia. "Happy princesses do make a happy country. I am certain you will come to realize that soon enough."

"That's something else I've been kinda wondering." Rumble said. "Am I really able to run all of Equestria? I mean, isn't a prince just, like, a face for the crowd?"

"In truth, the care of Equestria is a massive burden to place in the hooves of a prince." Celestia said. "Especially one as young as yourself. And after all, you are the first one we've had."

"Wait a minute, what about Prince Blueblood?" asked Rumble.

Celestia's eyes went wide in sudden realization. "Ugh, I keep forgetting about that nephew of mine." She sulked into her hooves. "Fortunately he is residing on one of his private islands indefinitely, lest we'd have to suffer his presence."

"Do not speak ill of Prince Blueblood, Tia!" objected Luna. "Why, he is making tremendous strides in maintaining international relations for Equestria."

"Gambling with the Duke of Prance does not count as international relations." Celestia discerned.

"Man this is too much to take." Rumble rested his head in his hooves.

"You must dispel your nerves, Prince Rumble." Luna then levitated his crystal glass and began pouring into it. "Here, partake in some pinot noir!"

"Luna, I keep telling you he shouldn't be drinking wine!" scorned Celestia.

"But tis a fine vintage!" retorted Luna. "You doth said it yourself, we must give Prince Rumble the full royal treatment. That beith said, we cannot continue to let him reside in our guest house. We must build him his own room in the castle post haste!"

"But I don't want to live in the castle!" frowned Rumble. "I don't want to live like a prince! I just want to go home! This was a big mistake. I shouldn't have agreed to this."

"Rumble, I understand this is a huge adjustment for you." Celestia approached and consoled him. "But Princess Luna and I only want you to be comfortable and happy. We would never want to put you in a position that's too much for a child to handle. And of course, we'll allow you to go back to Ponyville to live with your brother if you want."

"Really? You will?" Rumble looked up at her.

"Absolutely!" smiled Celestia. "And you can always talk to Twilight if you still have questions about being an alicorn. She might even show you some magic!"

"Well, I don't know about that." Rumble shrugged. "But thanks for letting me know, Princess. I just didn't want to feel like I'm being trapped in some impossible fate."

"Not at all." Celestia assured. "Twilight herself was faced with many changes when she was in your position."

"If it's alright, Princess Celestia, do you think I can stay in the guest house for another night?" asked Rumble. "I guess it is pretty cozy."

"You're always welcome to, Rumble." Celestia said as she took his leftovers and exited the dining room. "After all, a prince can come and go as he pleases."

"Thank you!"

"Oh well," sighed Luna. "And I was ever so hoping to make renovations to the castle."

"Princess Luna," asked Rumble. "Can I have some more of that peanut noir?"

That night, Rumble lay asleep in the guest bedroom of Canterlot Castle, amidst the calm of night in the royal garden outside. He had finally begun sleeping soundly knowing that his new role as prince would not deter him from his normal life. This moment of peace however was shattered by the intrusion of one of his new fellow monarchs.

"PRINCE RUMBLE, ARISE AND SHINE!" blurted Luna as she magically levitated the colt out of bed.

Rumble shook his head and yelped as he was jerked awake. He flapped his wings rapidly, seeing that he was in the air but couldn't move. At that point, he was sure he was about to meet his demise, until Luna finally set him standing on the floor. Rumble darted his head around, still panicked, when his face was pelted with clothes.

"You must prepare thyself, young stallion!" said Luna as she dug through a closet and levitated thick winter garments over to him. "Your first official task as prince has come!"

"Princess Luna, what are you talking about?!" asked Rumble, rubbing his eyes.

"Dress warmly, Prince Rumble!" Luna beamed at him. "We are off to Yakyakistan!"

"Yakyakistan?!" repeated Rumble. "W-w-what for?!"

"Our ambassadors have informed us that the yak chieftains wish to establish a trade deal with Equestria." Luna explained. "And they have requested your presence, upon hearing of your new coronation!"

Rumble stared into space for a moment, before turning to crawl back beneath his bed covers, shielding himself from the world. "This is a bad dream! This is all just a bad dream!"

"Fret not, dear Prince Rumble!" grinned Luna. "For you are very much awake! And you are on the precipice of proving thyself as a proud diplomat of Equestria!"

"But I don't wanna be a diplomat!" argued Rumble, in an extremely whiny tone.

Luna then looked concerned. "I sense you are unnerved by this formidable call to duty, Prince Rumble." She said. "But I promise, nothing of great strain will be asked of you. It is a simple negotiation mission."

Rumble peaked out from the covers. "Simple? I don't know anything about negotiating stuff!...Except for those Wonderbolt trading cards I got from Scootaloo. I really fleeced her on that deal."

"Rest assured, you will learn much on this journey for economic growth." Luna smiled. "And I shall accompany you throughout our welcome in Yakyakistan to bestow you with the wisdom you will need."

"I don't know." Rumble complained. "Don't the yaks live like half a world away?"

"Nay, tis more like five eighths of a world away for our trip." Luna shrugged.

"...That sounds like we're taking the long way there!" blurted Rumble.

"For sooth! Even princesses enjoy frequent flyer miles!" She then trotted out of the guest room. "Let us away, Prince Rumble! We depart in one hour!"

"The sun's not even up yet!" Rumble shouted after her. "Does your sister even know about this?! Ugh, I hope the yaks have oat nuggets."

Frigid winds buffeted the royal airplane at high speeds as it soared over the harsh territory of Yakyakistan. The roar of the twin propellers echoed off the side of the towering mountains which seemed to pierce the heavens through the clouds. Eventually, through the blistering snow and wind, the plane descended upon a small, ramshackle airstrip perched on a precarious mountainside cliff. The aircraft landed with a screech before rolling to a halt. Soon after Luna and Rumble exited the plane through steps outside, along with an entourage of royal guards.

"Good gracious, I have yet to accustom myself to these new-fangled flying machines!" sulked Luna as she descended the stairs. "I at least hope you enjoyed the flight, Prince Rumble."

Rumble was unable to reply, too busy vomiting behind the stairs as a result of twenty hours of motion sickness and a dose of cosmic radiation.

"Princess Luna! I was told you were coming!"

From across the airfield came a pale green stallion striding up to the prince and princess. He sported a wool beanie with ear flaps and an overstuffed hiking backpack with a visible rolled up tent and sleeping bag. His unkempt blonde mane shagged over his eyes.

"Ah, you must be our fair guide, good sir." Princess Luna greeted him in a regal posture.

"Totally, Your Highness." The hiking pony smiled and bowed to her. "My name's Carabiner, and I'm here to help you get acquainted with the Yak Chieftains. I'm sure they're stoked to meet you."

"Yes, well, I too look forward to forging history with this trade agreement." Luna replied.

Carabiner then looked down at the colt beside her. "No way! You must be the new prince! Awesome! You must feel pretty lucky, lil' dude."

"Yeah, I'm counting my freaking blessings." Rumble muttered.

"If you'll follow me, I'll take you to where you'll be staying with the chieftains." Carabiner said. "I'll take you through town. It's totally rad."

"Yea, the elevation of this kingdom is quite radical." Luna remarked as they followed the guide.

Rumble shivered and zipped up his parka, putting aside his disdain to venture into this strange land.

The capital city of Yakhmandu served as a gem in the snowy peaks of the Crystal Mountains. An air of spirituality hung all around this ethereal kingdom, with the sound of monks emitting droning chants resonating throughout the steep mountain passes. And this strong spirituality was seen in the plentiful art and architecture of the city, showing the yaks' devotion to numerous incarnations of their deities. Of course, despite the religious aura, it was just like any bustling city.
Herds of yaks lumbered through the streets, some merchants carrying supplies to sell at their stands, others monks carrying the weight of their devotion. But they were not the only species roaming the tightly-knit districts. A sizable amount of ponies were seen wandering about; they were backpackers and other travelers admiring the alluring culture of the yaks in traditional eateries and gift shops meant for the tourist kind. Yet only recently had the yaks allowed ponyfolk to freely travel throughout their land, after centuries of sealing off their borders. This made the importance of Luna and Rumble's trade mission all the more significant.
Rumble looked around the traffic-choked streets nervously, having never been surrounded by so much activity, let alone in another country. The pungent aromas of exotic foods and earshot ramblings in a foreign language were nearly overloading his senses. He would have liked to embrace the experience, if he was not there under the severe peer pressure of a moon princess.

"Hey, keep up, lil' dude!" said Carabiner, leading the way through the crowds. "You must be pretty anxious about being in a different land, huh?"

"I guess so." Rumble admitted, sheepishly.

"Don't sweat it, brah." Carabiner replied. "The people of Yakyakistan are totally peaceful and welcoming. You really gotta take in all the culture and spirituality and stuff. But just remember, when you meet the chieftains, whatever you do, don't cheese 'em off, m'kay? If you make the yak leaders mad, you're gonna have a bad time."

Rumble gulped. He remembered hearing something similar from his older brother, who once told him about not stalling while flying through a downdraft. It was a broken leg that he would never forget.

Before too long, the three of them, seven including the guards, came upon the gate to an ornate palace in the center of Yakhmandu. At an opening in a long white wall, a pair of yak guards clad in iron armor opened the heavy wooden doors revealing a long stone courtyard. Standing gaunt on the other side was Yakhmandu Palace, complete with high sloping white walls and red, shingled roofs gilded and supported with copper. Rumble looked ahead in amazement at how the yaks could accomplish such architecture on top of a mountain. But as they approached the red copper front doors, he knew full well that he was just moving from one castle to another.
The doors then opened outward, and a group of yaks in regal garb lumbered outside, followed by more palace guards. The yak chieftains presented themselves in elaborate robes and headdresses of vibrant reds and yellows, and jewelry of gold and topaz hanging from their horns. One of these decorated yaks approached Princess Luna.

"Yaks welcome you to yak capital, Moon Princess!" the burly bovine bellowed.

"WE ARE VERILY HONORED TO BE GRACED BY THY PRESENCE, NOBLE YAKS." Luna greeted in her usual manner. "Allow us to introduce Equestria's newest dignitary, Prince Rumble."

"Um, eh...hello." Rumble said and bowed shakily.

The yak chieftain lowered his heavy head down to Rumble. Behind the fur that shagged over were two judgmental eyes sizing up the scrappy colt. A puff of air from his snorting nostrils hit Rumble's face, blowing back the hood of his parka. It took every bit of restraint for Rumble not to run back to the plane.

"Pony prince is small and weak!" the chieftain remarked. "Yaks make him stronger with bountiful feast!"

"We would be delighted to take part in thy local fare." Luna smiled.

"Food? Finally!" beamed Rumble. "I'm starving! The in-flight meal tasted like-" He was interrupted by a firm nudge from Luna's hoof, urging him to keep his composure around the chieftains. "I mean, thank you, uh, good sir." He said meagerly with a bow.

After all formalities, and an extensive tour of the palace that nearly put Rumble to sleep, the yaks welcomed their guests to their royal dining hall. The three ponies were seated beside the host end of the table, where a gilded chair awaited its most celebrated occupant. The rest of the low table, only a foot off the floor, was surrounded by silk seat cushions, on which the yaks planted their hefty flanks. Rumble was not expecting to eat so low off the ground, having barely been able to reach up across the table at Canterlot Castle.
He waited with increasing impatience, staring at the covered platters that had been prepared on the table. But he promised to keep calm until the highest leader of Yakyakistan arrived.

A yak squire stood by an open door near the vacant end of the table. "Presenting wise holy leader of Yakyakistan!" he announced. "The Dalai Yaka!"

BWONG!

The crash of a gong startled Rumble as the star host entered the room. The Dalai Yaka slowly wobbled into the dining hall with the squire helping him stay balanced. His grayed fur had grown longer than his younger compatriots, and his smell even muskier. He featured a salmon colored robe with a large medallion depicting many yak religious symbols. It took almost a minute for his to finally sit down; the Yaka may have been very elderly, but his reincarnated soul was ageless.

"What's a Dolly Yaka?" Rumble whispered to Luna.

"The Dalai Yaka is the holy leader of all yakkind." She replied discretely. "While the chieftains all rule Yakyakistan in a political sense, even they all answer to the divine wisdom of the Yaka. It is said that his soul hath been reincarnated seventy-eight and a half times."

The Dalai Yaka sneezed, coughed and mumbled into his robe, in that order.

"Have you met him before?" Rumble asked Carabiner.

"Oh yeah, totally." He answered. "The Yaka is a super chill guy. Just don't speak out of turn to him. Only the chieftains can ask for his words of enlightenment. That, and he wouldn't understand what you're saying 'cause he's half deaf."

"So why are we whispering?" asked Rumble.

"You're the one whispering, dude. I mean, Prince Rumble." Carabiner said.

"Ka chayaka duhak!" the Dalai Yaka blurted in a strained old voice.

"Dalai Yaka says feast begin now!" the squire said.

The silver covers were lifted off the table. There sat heaping platters of momo dumplings and steaming bowls of tsampa noodles served in a thukpa broth. To drink included ginseng tea and thick butter milk. The yak politicians immediately dug into the hearty, savory hunks of dried tofu simmered in a spicy mustard stew, gnawing into the meal with voracity. Princess Luna, of course, ate from her plate with her usual grace and demeanor, then happily levitated some portions onto Rumble's.
The colt stared down with hesitation at the samples of yak cuisine. The strange combination of pungent aromas told his nose to relay a message to his mouth not to let any of it through. Even so, he committed to his obligation and slowly forked off a piece of dumpling. The taste was surprisingly spicy from a various mix of herbs and sauces, completely overtaking the blandness of the dough. Officially all five of his senses had been taken through new experiences.

"THIS STEW IS MAGNIFICENT." Luna said to one of the chieftains across from her. "If this be but a small taste of yak wears, then t'will a grand opportunity to open trade with Equestria!"

"Ponies drive hard bargain!" one of the yaks spewed chunks of food as he spoke. "Not satisfied with trade deal!"

"Oh dear," said Luna, taken aback. "Are thou quite certain, sir yak? I assure that Equestria's gala apples are in plentiful supply and will, without nary a doubt, be well worth medicinal herbs."

"Herbs harvested from highest mountaintops in Yakyakistan during low wind!" another diplomat replied. "Production costs skyrocket! Apples grow anywhere, any time!"

"Unfair trade!" a third chimed in, spewing entire noodles across the tabletop. "Ponies add more to deal! If ponies not meet yak demands, Yaks destroy!"

"Yes, yes, of course, message receiveth!" interjected Luna sheepishly. "Surely Equestria has more to offer in reciprocation for the industrious yak kingdom. What else wouldst thou request? Carrots? Oats? Internet capable electronics?"

"Yaks request trade of Equestrian opals!" a yak demanded.

"Opals?!" Luna blinked. "I fret to inform you, good sir yaks, that our opal veins have recently shown indication of drying up. Furthermore, their location within the southern Badlands put our miners at grave risk."

"Only equal trade for herbs!" retorted a yak.

"Dear oh dear," sulked Luna. "Mayhaps there be a better deal we can agree to."

Rumble continued to toss around the morsels on his plate, focusing to actually ignore the high-stakes trade debate before him. Suddenly, he felt a dumpling impact his forehead and watched it land onto his meal. Alerted, Rumble looked across the table. There sat a young female yak, about his age, snickering at him and playing with her food. Quickly came a projectile of some bitter paste flung from her spoon into Rumble's eye. The prince glared as he took this as a sign of war and prepared a catapult fork of tofu. But he held back as he remembered Carabiner's advice.

"If you make the yaks mad, you're gonna have a bad time. Bad time. Bad time Bad time."

Shaking off his annoyance, Rumble kept on with choking down his meal. He considered starting a food fight with a chieftain's daughter would not look good for foreign relations. But just as he felt at peace again, he was struck once again by a noodle to the ear. Surely enough, the little yakess was giggling at his humiliation. It appeared that the girl's father next to her was paying zero attention to his daughter's antics, embroiled in the adult conversation with Luna and the rest of the yaks. Rumble could only give the young yak a menacing look hoping she would cease. Clearly she had not had enough fun at his expense. The onslaught continued. The Dalai Yaka, meanwhile, seemed to have fallen sleep mid meal.

"Are thou certain we cannot arrange something else?" asked Luna to the chieftains. "We will happily trade our gala apples, beech wood and cosmetics for eventual shipment. But alas I cannot stretch my offer further. We are but still asking for your medicinal herbs only."

"Uh, Princess Luna? Your Majesty? Ma'am?" piped up Carabiner. "Maybe you should, like, consider the yak chieftain's point. Uh, like, maybe giving them opals won't be so bad, brah."

"With much due respect for our hosts, sir guide," said Luna. "I must stay firm about refusing opal trade. It simply cannot be done."

"Trade still not equal!" argued the yak girl's father. "Pony princess refuse to meet demand! Yaks dest-"

"Excuseth me," interjected Luna firmly. "But we hath been more than reasonable when discussions of this deal first commenced. However, if my word is not to your trust, perhaps Prince Rumble can convince thou to compromise."

"Huh? Wha?" Rumble looked up at Luna, still being pelted with food.

"Puny pony prince still young!" said the same yak. "Knows nothing of trade!"

"Nay, for Prince Rumble is far intelligent for his age!" Luna replied sheepishly, then lowered her voice toward Rumble. "Come now, Prince Rumble. Persuade our benefactors to settle for our current offer. Helpeth me out here!"

"Uh, er, I-I-I'm not sure." Rumble stammered, his breath quickening. "What was the part about the-" Despite his attempt to throw his hat into the ring, Rumble was yet again assaulted with dinner from the young yak, whose father was still neglectfully oblivious.

"Yaks' patience wears thin!" snorted the father.

Rumble continued to trip on his words, darting his head between the heated debate between high-status adults, and the immature yakling spoiling her dinner onto his face. The tension mounted exponentially, both in the dining room and in Rumble's mind. After nearly twisted his neck while darting, something finally snapped and Rumble stood on his cushion, grabbing a bowl of stew.

"Alright! Ya know what?!" he blurted suddenly. "Somepony is going to get a face full of this slop if somepony doesn't start acting like a rational adult!" He turned towards his assailant. "And it ain't gonna be my face anymore!"

The yakling slouched down in her cushion, feeling ashamed of her childish taunting. But as a cold silence chilled the air, each one of the adult yaks turned his head toward Rumble. In that moment, they looked ready to stampede, staring not just daggers, but swords, axes and scimitars at him.

"Oh man," gulped Carabiner. "You're in for a world of hurt, lil' dude."

Rumble's face drooped in a feeling of certain doom. The yak father across from Luna stood up from his cushion, nearly knocking up his side of the table. Snorting plumes of air out of his nostrils, the chieftain took in a draw of air for several seconds, before letting his booming voice loose.

"YAKS DESTRO-"

"HUH! Hapa khanuka cha kapa! HUH!" a wheeze suddenly came from the now awakened Dalai Yaka. The rest of the yaks and their guests all turned towards him, with the enraged father now sitting back down obediently. Everypony listened as the Yaka heaved himself up from his chair. "Hapa ku HAAAA chukachka! Yaka tu hayaka kana yakpa!" he announced in great flair.

"Dalai Yaka say he have enough with petty argument!" the squire translated.

"Kapta!" the Yaka exclaimed, now gesturing a withered hoof toward Rumble. "Yaka huhaka chachukana ku kapa tu! Shaku ha yaka KAAAAA tu chapkanu!"

"Dalai Yaka wishes to speak with pony prince in private!" said the squire.

"Me?! But why?!" quivered Rumble.

"You better go with it, dude." Carabiner said to him. "I've never seen the Yaka want to speak with an outsider before. This is totally the chance of a lifetime!"

"Kayacha huka!" the Yaka beckoned the colt.

With a slight shake rippling through his body, Rumble slowly walked over to the Dalai Yaka's side and followed the frail yak elder into the room he first appeared from. Luna, Carabiner and the chieftains looked amongst each other with uncertainty about what judgment would befall the young Prince from the holy leader of Yakyakistan.

Nearly three hours passed and the diplomatic party were still seated at the dining table, with mere scraps of food left on the platters. They had already finished off third cups of butter tea and their bowls of fruit yogurt for dessert. But still, the Dalai Yaka had not yet returned from his unknown conversation with Rumble. It was starting to be suspected that the colt had been tossed off a cliff.
But finally, after the long stretch of cold awkwardness, the far door opened at last and the two of them reentered the dining hall. Only this time, both the yaka and Rumble looked at peace. In fact, they were laughing wildly as they entered, as if they were old buddies coming from a long day of catching up. The Yaka put his hoof over Rumble's shoulder and announced to the others.

"Kachula ta kapka! Huka yana ku chata yaka! Ha ha ha ha ha!" the geezer bellowed as he continued to laugh and stumble over with Rumble.

"Dalai Yaka says pony prince is of pure spirit!" the squire interpreted. "Like one of many yak gods reborn!"

"Kutu kancha yakutu akta tu chak yap!" the Yaka said gleefully as he sat down. "Chu yakanku ta chapaku! Kata yuka ta chanchachka!"

"Dalai Yaka in good mood!" said the squire. "Trade deal will be settled by pony princess!"

At that moment, the yak chieftains began murmuring to each other in a surprised hush. After brief deliberation, the chieftain who fathered the little yak girl next to him stood and faced Luna. "Very well!" he announced. "Dalai Yaka's word is law! If Dalai Yaka happy, all yaks happy! Yaks agree to ponies' offer!"

"YAKS AGREE!!!" the other chieftains stood and boomed in unison.

Luna shook her head in astonishment then faced Rumble. "My good Prince, what on the moon hath happened between you and the Dalai Yaka?"

"Yeah, dude!" said Carabiner. "It's like your his best bro now!"

Rumble was still chuckling, a faint scent of dubious liquor on his breath. "Oh man, it was great!" he guffawed. "The Yaka is such a cool guy. We spent the whole time talking in his meditation room. I told him stories from school and he told about prophetic wisdom he learned from speaking to the heavens. And then, it was crazy! He taught me how to meditate and helped me find my center! And before I know it, I'm closing my eyes and gazing into this higher plain of enlightenment! And suddenly all my chakras and stuff are aligned! And when I finally opened my eyes, I felt totally...fine..."

"Whoa." Carabiner blinked. "So what did he say after that?"

Rumble stared into space, remembering the ominous words of his new friend. "Well, he told me...that when I die...on my deathbed...I will receive total consciousness...So I got that going for me...which is nice."

Secrecy?

Chapter 3: Secrecy?

As Rumble sat at the polished mahogany desk in the study, mindlessly flipping through parchment documents, the very thought of watching paint dry was growing ever more thrilling. The royal sisters had put him on paperwork duty in order to help adjust him to the tasks of nobility. At first, Rumble became distressed at the idea of handling important political documents. But in reality, the job only came down to filing each wall of text into 'decreed' or 'non-decreed'. This took up a good eight hours of his day.
Rumble looked out of the tall window to his side. The private study had a view of the nearby public street outside the castle wall. He watched as the local foals of Canterlot played a game of cricket in the street. Rumble longed for the kind of childlike fun that he used to have before being swept up by destiny. Little did he know that cricket was the only sport allowed in Canterlot as it provided no chance of injury or rousing excitement whatsoever.
But as Rumble drifted off, the door opened and he snapped to attention. A royal guard entered the study carrying a rolled up newspaper in his hoof.

"Paper for you, my prince." The guard said in the same typical monotonous drone as all the others. "The Foal Free Press, just as you requested."

"Thanks, Saber," said Rumble as he took the paper on the desk. "I've been waiting to hear about what's been going on back in Ponyville lately."

"My name is Cutlass, sir." The guard corrected flatly. "And you're welcome."

"Say, I've been thinking," said Rumble. "You guards are all supposed to escort royalty to places outside the castle, right?"

"Of course, my prince." Cutlass answered. "You can never be too careful."

"Well, I was wondering if you could come with me to the arcade today?" Rumble suggested diligently. "Or maybe the public pool? I'm almost done with these forms anyway and my stamping hoof is cramping up."

"I'm sorry, my prince," replied Cutlass. "But our order are not to let you leave the premises while the princesses are on official business in the Crystal Empire. It is a rule that there must be a standing monarch in the castle at all times."

"What?!" Rumble griped as he slumped forward over the desk. "What's the point of being a prince if you can't do whatever you want?! I can't just walk out of here?"

"You are free to stroll through the castle gardens, my prince." Cutlass suggested. "I'll guide you through the hedge maze if it gets too confusing for you."

"I already walked through that thing seven times!" sulked Rumble, as he unfolded the newspaper and browsed through. "And that creepy scarecrow in the middle is definitely not making it any more fun."

Cutlass darted his eyes in confusion. "...What scarecrow?"

"Hey look at this!" Rumble beamed as he looked at the paper. "The Wonderbolts are performing an aerial stunt show in Ponyville tomorrow! Ah I can't miss that! No doubt Big Bro will be performing!"

"If you'd like, sir," said Cutlass. "We can send a squire to bring back a detailed account of the show for you."

"Are you kidding?" retorted Rumble. "When am I gonna get another chance to see the Wonderbolts in my hometown? I gotta see this in person!"

"My apologies, my Prince. But rules are rules. I cannot let you go unless it is for official royal business."

"Ugh, this bites!" Rumble slumped back. But then, an idea hatched in his mind. "You said only for official business, right?"

"Yes I did, my prince." Cutlass nodded.

"Well, as a matter of fact," said Rumble, with a hint of deviousness. "I do have to meet with Mayor Mare of Ponyville tomorrow for, uh, princely duties."

"I see, sir." Cutlass said. "May I ask what for?"

"Um, I uh, er," Rumble rolled his eyes around the room and across his desk for an excuse. "I need more...pens! Yup, pens! I'm going to request a shipment of Ponyville pens for Canterlot!"

"You mean like the pen on your desk, sir?"

"...Uh, yeah! Er, sort of." Rumble stammered. "I need more- we need more ballpoint pens. These ink fountain pens are far too inconvenient. This situation must be remedied!"

"...Sounds good to me, my prince." Cutlass said, still emotionless. "Shall I set up an escort right away?"

"Uh no, make it tomorrow." Rumble said sheepishly. "You know, no rush or worry. I mean, it is just pens after all, heh heh."

"Very good, my prince. I shall be on my way now." Cutlass turned and exited, muttering to himself. "I hope it's not that haunted scarecrow from the old abandoned turnip farm."

The very next morning, Rumble was on his way back home in an attempt to disguise his momentary escape from royal life as official prince business. Unfortunately, as he now realized, this was going to be easier said than done. The Royal Guard had chartered him a gilded chariot piloted by two pegasi followed by several winged bodyguards. While the ride through the breeze was enjoyable, it dashed Rumble's hopes that he would enter Ponyville inconspicuously. After all, a prince doesn't enter a small town unannounced.
Rumble thought quickly. He was not compliant to watch the Wonderbolt exhibition with ponies flocking to his princeliness. He leaned over the front of the chariot and gave an order.

"Hey, uh, pilots?" he called. "Do you think you can land somewhere on the outside of town?"

"May I ask why, sir?" one of the pilots replied over the wind.

"Uh, well, I just want to, uh, stroll through the woods for a bit." Rumble lied. "I do miss the seasonal colors of my hometown after all."

"Right away, my prince." The other pilot said. "I too miss the color green."

Without hesitation, the chariot glided over the clouds above the Ponyville treetops and came to a soft landing in a random patch of grass by a dirt road. The team of escort guards also landed and formed a wide perimeter around their noble prince. Rumble stepped out of the chariot hoping to keep a low profile as he entered town. But he took no more than three steps before his cover was already blown.

"Rumble? Rumble!" came a familiar drawl.

"Apple Bloom?!" Rumble gawked as his old school friend came cantering up to him. He now noticed the Apple Family farm just a few yards up the road.

"Long time no see, pal!" gleamed the filly.

"Halt!" bellowed one of the guards as the entourage enclosed their circle around Rumble. "None shall approach the prince unannounced!"

"Are you guys serious?" glowered Rumble. "She's a friend of mine, and she's younger than me! Stand down!"

The spear-happy guards complied and broke their protective circle. Apple Bloom froze in her tracks and darted her eyes around in surprise.

"Tarnation!" she gasped. "Well well, 'Honorable Prince Rumble', you really gotten high n' mighty ever since ya left. What do ya need a gaggle o' guards for comin' to Ponyville anyway?"

"Believe me, it wasn't my idea." Rumble approached her. "Listen, Apple Bloom, you can't tell anypony that I'm here. I'm trying to keep a low profile."

"Well what are ya doin' back here in the first place?" asked Apple Bloom.

Rumble turned toward his guards, knowing that they were listening well despite their stoic nopony-at-home expressions. He was careful to keep his reuse up. "I'm, uh...I'm here to negotiate a shipment of pens from Mayor Mare...Official royal business..."

"Pens?" Apple Bloom looked confused. "Huh, maybe that's why Granny Smith was complainin' about tax dollars to the go'erment n' such. Whatever that means."

"Say, Apple Bloom," said Rumble. "Do you think I can come inside for some lemonade? The flight here made me pretty parched."

"I don't see why not!" smiled Apple Bloom. "It's great to see ya again, Rumble. I was afraid bein' a prince and everythin' was gonna sweep you up completely."

"Yeah, no kidding." Rumble muttered. "Guards, you guys stay out here until I come back. I'm pretty sure I'll be perfectly safe in my friend's home."

"As you wish, my prince!" a guard replied as the unit stayed put by the chariot, while the prince followed his non-royal chum to the farmhouse. They were prepared to stand there on alert for as long as they necessary.

When the two foals rounded the big red barn, Rumble pulled aside Apple Bloom out of view of the waiting escort. "Apple Bloom, I need you to help me." He said urgently. "I'm not really here for official royal business."

"Oh my gosh, I knew it!" said Apple Bloom with fright. "Yer on the lam, aren't ya?! You stole the crown jewels and came here to pawn 'em off!"

"What? No!" replied Rumble. "I just wanted to get out of the castle and have some fun, but the guards insisted on keeping me in that stuffy place. I heard my brother was doing a Wonderbolts show here and I had to see it. But I don't want everypony to notice the Prince of Equestria walking around in the open."

"Well whaddya expect?" Apple Bloom shrugged. "The whole town is gonna be in the park to watch the Wonderbolts. Somepony other than me is bound to see ya."

"Which is why I need you to find me a disguise." Rumble said. "I may not be able to hi to my big bro today, but I'll be darned if I don't see him and the Wonderbolts perform death defying stunts."

"Rumble this is just bananas!" retorted Apple Bloom. "I can't hide a prince in Ponyville. I'd get in even more trouble than you if you get caught!"

"Don't worry, I'll take the heat if that happens." Rumble assured her. "That being said, it might even get me kicked off the throne." He considered the possibility with delight. "But it's only until after the show, then I'll hightail it out of here back to Canterlot. I promise I won't be a burden, Apple Bloom. I'm only asking you to keep me in your barn until we get to the park. Please, Apple Bloom? I'm begging ya, not as a prince, but as a friend."

Apple Bloom looked at her new christened chum with concern. But she knew that she could not turn down the opportunity for him to see his brother for one day of normalcy. "Alright, Rumble," she sighed. "Wait here in the barn. I'll go see what clothes I can fetch ya."

"Thanks, Apple Bloom," smiled Rumble. "You're a life saver."

"It does sound kinda fun to harbor a runaway, though." Apple Bloom grinned. "Yeehaw! I'm a criminal!"

"Heh heh, yeah! Don't shout that!"

Over the next several minutes, Rumble sat on a bale of hay inside the large barn as he waited for his pal to bring him his disguise. Surprisingly, the feeling of the hay beneath him gave him a sense of comfort that the overstuffed pillows and bedspread in the castle could not offer. Even the ever present smell of manure felt like home to him. He lied back on the hay and tossed a few scattered nails into a faraway bucket. It seemed one could take the colt out of the country, but not the country out of the colt.
Before too long, Apple Bloom opened the barn door and entered, carrying an elaborate and brightly colored garment. Rumble stayed put in the hay, enjoying the rough comfort for as long as he could.

"I hate to break it to ya, Rumble," she said as she exhibited the article of clothing. "But it looks like yer gonna have to wear mah gala dress." She held a small, filly-sized green gown with glitter, shoulder pads and frills around the waistline.

"Ach, are you serious?" whined Rumble as he sat up. "Since when do you wear a dress, anyway?"

"Hey ya think I like wearin' this gaudy thing?" she replied. "Granny Smith only got me this for Apple Crumble and Strawberry Tartlet's weddin'. But since I haven't worn it since, at least nopony's gonna wonder why you're in my clothes."

"I guess, but are you sure you don't have anything else?" asked Rumble.

"Sorry, pardner, all my other two outfits are in the wash." Apple Bloom said. "So it looks like yer goin' as a girl today. Oh, and you'll also need to put on mah brother's lady wig."

"Alright fine, as long as I don't..." Rumble paused to consider that last remark. "...As long as I don't get recognized by anypony, I can put up with it." He took the wig and the dress. "Ooh, is this patterned silk? This waistline will look really slimming over my- oh cripes, I'm turning into a princess!"

"Apple Bloom! You in there, sugarcube?" came a voice from outside the barn.

"Aw shucks it's mah sister!" Apple Bloom turned to Rumble. "Quick! Hide behind the hay!"

Rumble bolted behind the stack of bales with the disguise in hoof. Sure enough, Applejack along with Big Macintosh opened the barn door and entered, looking around as if expecting to see somepony else in there.

"You alright, lil' sis?" asked Applejack. "Talkin' to yerself in the barn again? I told ya before, there're no aliens hidin' out in here."

"Nnope!" added Big Mac.

"That's not what I was doin'!" replied Apple Bloom. "Though I do think that the truth is still out there. But I was really just-"

"Achoo!" A sneeze came from behind the tower of hay, causing some of the stuff to blow away. Big Mac hunched down and began growling like an attack dog, pointing his muzzle toward the bale stacks.

"Alright now, show yerself!" ordered Applejack intimidatingly. "Come out here, ya trespasser!"

Apple Bloom bit her lip in anxiety, as cold silence fell for several seconds. Then, to the adult ponies' surprise, a nervous-looking gray filly in a flowing green dress stepped out from behind the hay. Applejack and Big Mac immediately let down their guard.

"Well lansanks!" came Applejack. "Now who might you be? You a new friend of Apple Bloom's here?"

"Uh, o'course she is!" said Apple Bloom sheepishly, as she put her hoof around her disguised runaway. "This is, uh, Rumblina! I was just showin' her around the farm."

Rumble desperately mustered up a fake filly's voice and spoke with a quiver. "Um, nice to meet you."

"Howdy, Rumblina!" smiled Applejack. "I haven't seen you around town before. Are ya new here?"

"Um...yes." Rumble squeaked. "I'm here for the Wonderbolts show. My bro- uh, my...daddy is one of them."

"Well that's just hunky dory!" said Applejack. "You must be a lucky gal. It's certainly not often we get famous folks like the Wonderbolts 'round Ponyville. Is it, Big Mac?"

Big Macintosh still stared at the "little filly" with sneaking suspicion. "Eeyup." He said absent-mindedly.

"So who's yer pop, Rumblina?" asked Applejack.

Rumble quickly racked through the list of full-time Wonderbolt members in his mind for an answer, knowing that saying Thunderlane would be right out. Unfortunately, he settled on an equally conspicuous choice. "Uh...Soarin'!"

Applejack shook her head in shock. "Soarin' has a daughter? Oh boy. Ain't gonna be fun bringin' that up to Rainbow Dash. Well anywho, it's good to meet ya, Rumblina! You and yer dad are welcome here for as long as ya like. I guess I'll be seein' ya at the stunt show in a little bit. You two play nice now!" She trotted away.

Big Mac did not follow her. Instead he lowered his head and took a closer look at Rumblina. He stared intently at the large, curled blonde wig resting upon her little head, which looked awful familiar to him.

"Uh hey, Big Mac," said Apple Bloom, breaking his concentration. "Don't tell AJ, but I think I saw some crop circles over in the wheat field!"

Suddenly, Big Mac sprung up in alarm and stampeded out of the barn with fright. "Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope!" He shouted as he ran out of earshot.

"Phew!" came Apple Bloom. "Good thing mah sister is bad with faces. But mah brother almost recognized ya in his wig. You'd better not hang around him for much longer."

"No matter," replied Rumble, taking off the wig for a moment. "I just have to get through the day. And then it's back to the castle for me."

"Hey yeah, what's goin' on in that castle now that ya left it?" asked Apple Bloom.

"Well, the princesses are gone too, so there's no acting monarch right now." Rumble admitted nonchalantly. "But I'm sure the castle will still be there when I get back." He said, unaware that the royal staff were throwing a huge keg party in the castle at that very moment.

"Boy oh boy, this Wonderbolts show better be worth it." Apple Bloom sulked.

"Trust me, it will be." Rumble said. "I bet my brother is gonna perform his 720 Immelman three thousand feet up! It's gonna be wild!"

"Well why don't we head on down to the park and catch it before it starts." Apple Bloom suggested. "As long as Applejack and Big Macintosh think we're just out playin'."

"Good idea," replied Rumble. "I'm sure everypony will be too distracted to suspect me anyway. Let's go! Hmm...I hope I'm not forgetting something."

A few hours had passed, and the Royal Guard escort still waited by the gilded chariot on the dirt road outside the farm. They stood n there same positions, having barely moved a muscle the whole time as they awaited for for their prince to give them further orders. But there was only silence in the shaded grove as they continued to stare straight ahead towards the farm, void of any emotion or exhaustion in their faces.

"...Do you think he's coming back?" one of the guards finally spoke to his nearest comrade.

"I wasn't trained to think, soldier." The other guard replied.

"What the hay is this?!" Granny Smith suddenly appeared, hobbling onto the road and waving a shovel around with a violent temper. "Get off mah property, feds!"

The elderly mare shouted and cursed as she managed to intimidate and chase off the team of guards. With no sense of direction, they ran into the Everfree Forest, their fate left uncertain.

The Ponyville public park was abuzz with activity as the entire town gathered to marvel at the celebrated flying circus that was the Wonderbolts. Bleachers and tents for the spectators were raised throughout the green, encircling a wide view of the sunny blue sky above. Ponies everywhere queued at an array of snack stands as well as the gift shops selling merchandise such as Wonderbolts posters, clothes, figures, over-sized cups, etc. The foals were scurrying about the field in costume and battling each other in the ever popular Wonderbolts trading card game (now available in your local game or comic book store).
Among the crowd, Apple Bloom and a disguised Rumble wandered through the green, both surprised at how large the turnout had become so quickly. The excitement seemed to keep ponies from raising suspicion over the strange gala-dressed filly accompanying Apple Bloom.

"Oh man, I'm so pumped!" beamed Rumble, forgetting his feminine guise momentarily. "I just know we're in for a really epic show!"

"Well shoot!" added Apple Bloom. "I ain't seen a turnout like this in Ponyville since that colt band from San Palomino had their tour carriage break down here. I don't see yer brother or any of his pardners around."

"Nah, they've gotta be kept somewhere secret so they don't swamped by legions of fans." Rumble replied. "Let's hurry and find a good seat before it's taken. Somewhere with the best view of their flying space."

"Alright," said Apple Bloom, apprehensively. "But as long as we're not drawin' attention to you. Remember, yer disguise isn't exactly subtle."

"Hey, blend in by standing out, right?" shrugged Rumble. "Besides, this dress makes me feel really graceful. I feel poised and poignant and- oh crap it's happening again!"

"Apple Bloom! Apple Bloom!" came the voice of Scootaloo, who bounded up to the two with Sweetie Belle alongside. "Check it out! I just got a Silver Zoom shiny card in my new Wonderbolts deck, with a boosted speed version of Blaze! And look! The new apposable Fleetfoot figure with..." She then noticed the stranger next to Apple Bloom. "Say, who's this?"

"Oh, uh," Apple Bloom thought quickly. "This is Rumblita!"

"-lina." Rumble corrected.

"Rumblina!" said Apple Bloom. "Uh, she's related to one of the Wonderbolts and I've been showin' her around town. And she's definitely not the Prince of Equestria in disguise after running away from Canterlot." Both she and Rumble questioned severely why in the world she added that last remark.

"...Well it's nice to meet you, Rumblina!" smiled Scootaloo. "Ya know, if you're ever interested, we run a day camp for fillies and colts who haven't earned their cutie mark yet. Whether you're in town or not, you can always be a member!"

"Uh...thanks." Rumble darted his eyes, having just remembered his commitment to the day camp. Suddenly he was missing those days when nothing was expected of him.

"Wait a minute," said Sweetie Belle, eyeing the dress of Rumble curiously. "Isn't that your dress, Apple Bloom? I remember my sister making it for you. How come you're wearing her dress, Rumblina?"

"Um, well, you see, uh," Rumble stammered, struggling to maintain the falsetto in his voice.

"Hey, I know what's going on here!" said Scootaloo, her eyes narrowed.

Rumble gulped, ready to be caught red hoofed.

"So I see you two have become such fast friends that you're already sharing each other's clothes!" Scootaloo said accusingly with a hint of jealousy. "And yet you refuse to play dress-up with us, huh?"

"Really, Apple Bloom, I'm shocked." Sweetie Belle added, acting equally as petty. "I guess Scootaloo and I are just not good enough for you, are we?"

"Come on, Sweetie Belle," huffed Scootaloo, walking away. "Let's find a seat opposite away from this traitor and her new 'marefriend'."

"Good day to you, madame!" Sweetie Belle jabbed and spat at their hooves, unladylike.

Rumble blinked as the two fillies wandered away. "Wow, that was rather out of character for them, wasn't it?" said the colt prince masquerading as a filly.

"Boy I can't wait for you to leave." Apple Bloom glowered at him for unwittingly driving a wedge between her and her best friends.

"Mares and gentlecolts, please take your seats!" came an announcement from a loudspeaker. "The Wonderbolts will be appearing in five minutes!"

"Whoo! Let's get to it, Apple Bloom!" beamed Rumble as he charged off to find a seat.

Several minutes later, the Wonderbolts' aerial stunt show was underway, and the Ponyville crowd was alive with amazement. The tog gun flyers zoomed across the air above the park like swarms of electronic particles, weaving past each other in near misses and joining up again in formation. They formed shapes like stars, birds, lightning bolts and even a full pegasus with moving wings, showcasing the Wonderbolts' ability to coordinate and synchronize. They even performed an impromptu game of midair hoofball complete with blitzes and tackles.
Some of the members took part in more death defying stunts throughout. These included high altitude stalls and last minute pull-ups away from the ground. A gasp roused through the audience as the team's two senior members, Spitfire and Soarin', charged towards each other on a collision course. But instead of mangling each other in a horrific crash, the two stars grabbed each other by the hooves and began performing a midair tango to passionate music, drawing both relief and huge applause from the crowd.
The air was electric as the elated ponies, sitting in rows of reclined lawn chairs, cheered for the high flying daredevils. Rumble especially was getting the most out of his day of hookie from Canterlot.

"Oh yeah! This has gotta be their best show yet!" he cheered, barely able to keep himself in his lawn chair.

"Criminy, I can't keep track of any o' those guys!" said Apple Bloom, becoming dizzy from the fast paced action. "Which one is yer brother?"

"Didn't you see?" replied Rumble. "Big Bro was the one spinning that cloud vortex!"

"I'll take yer word for it."

After another big finishing stunt and a round of applause, the Wonderbolts dispersed and hovered at low altitude. Spitfire zipped up before the crowd and procured a megaphone.

"Are we havin' fun yet, Ponyville?!" she rallied to a wave of cheers. "I don't know, you guys sound pretty bored to me. Maybe we oughta just go home!" The crowd then replied with pleas to carry on the show. "Are ya sure? Well if you insist, we got a special treat for ya! Seeing as we're in his hometown, our boy Thunderlane is going to perform a stunt with a volunteer from the audience!" Another round of cheers erupted. "Yes that's right, he's gonna pick one lucky foal to help him achieve his newest thrilling stunt!"

"You the man, Big Bro!" shouted Rumble.

Something crazy is about to happen

"Alright, Thunderlane," said Spitfire into the megaphone. "Who's gonna be your assistant for the day?"

On cue, Thunderlane flew in a spiral over the array of lawn chairs as every foal jumped and screamed for his attention. After a few suspenseful moments, the Wonderbolt finally made his decision, hovering before a filly seated in the front row. In actuality, he made his choice completely by random, his judgement distorted in mid performance. "Come on up, little missy!" he beckoned.

Rumble looked straight up at his big brother, his jaw quivering in overcome fright. Ordinarily the chance to fly with his heroes, particularly his brother, would have been a dream come true. But now that he was incognito, this dream come true was now a nightmare. But Rumble knew full and well that he could not turn down the chance to assist Thunderlane in front of a whole crowd. The missed opportunity would haunt him for the rest of his days. With shaking hesitation, he reached out and grabbed his brother's hoof. The stallion then placed him on his back as he flew upward with a cheer from the stands.

"I knew this day was gonna be bad for him." Apple Bloom pinched her brow.

"Looks like a brave filly has offered to help out Thunderlane today!" announced Spitfire. "What have they got in store for us?"

Several yards out in the field, Thunderlane plopped Rumble on a small round stand on a pole roughly thirty feet high. The runaway prince looked around in anxiety; he knew he was in no real danger of falling, but it seemed as though nopony noticed that he was a pegasus, having his wings tucked under the dress. Rumble was a solid flyer for his age, but he feared if he revealed that fact, then everypony, at least his brother, would find him out. And so he decided to brave the ordeal, though he still didn't know what the stunt would be. He then looked up as Thunderlane gave him a large sack of apples.

"Alright, young mare," said Spitfire to Rumble, still speaking into the megaphone. "All you have to do is hold up these apples high over your head. And Thunderlane here will fly towards you to snatch each one...as fast as he can! The Wonderbolts stunt show and incorporating subsidiaries are not responsible for personal injury, whether physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. Now let's get underway!"

Rumble panicked internally. Ironically he had helped his brother practice this stunt before, holding up carrots for Thunderlane to snatch up. Only then, Thunderlane held back in speed. Now that he was in a real show, Rumble knew that his brother would be torpedoing straight for him with all he had. With great reluctance, he reached into the sack and held an apple up high wavering in the breeze.
Far across the field, Thunderlane hunched up on a platform of his own, waiting for the starting cue. A buzzer counted down from three and signaled the stallion to take off in a burst of acceleration. Rumble flinched his head to the side and winced but kept his hoof stable in the air. But in just five seconds, the apple was no longer in it. Rumble looked back as Thunderlane rounded the small post while chewing the apple triumphantly and the crowd applauded his speed and accuracy.

"Not bad, hotshot." Spitfire commentated. "But we all know you can do better! Let's see you set a best time for apple snatchin'! You think you're up for it, little one?"

Rumble simply nodded to her, still shaking from the tension.

"That's the spirit!" said Spitfire. "Hope ya got room in your stomach for more, Thunderlane!"

Over the next several minutes, Rumble stood like an antique vase on a tent pole as his brother rushed toward him over and over for the amusement of Ponyville. Each time, the stallion successfully caught the apple from his volunteer's hoof with expert precision. As well he attempted to alter his velocity to get his record time down as much as possible. And of course Rumble braced for potential impact, then hung on for dear life as the pedestal swayed from the force of Thunderlane's passing. It was a nerve-racking moment for all, but a thrilling one nonetheless for the crowd and performers alike. Why the Wonderbolts would choose this precarious task for a volunteer from the audience was beyond Rumble.
Eventually, the apple sack was nearly empty, and Thunderlane was looking almost as wiped as his unfortunate little brother. He flew back to his starting post, still not satisfied with his time. Rumble stood ready, still not satisfied with his life's course.

"Okay, Thunderlane," said Spitfire. "There's only one apple left. And you've got a current time of three-point-two seconds! Can you beat that record and give us all a really memorable finish? Come on, put a little boom down your boots!"

Shaking off any bit of exhaustion, Thunderlane psyched himself up to crush his current time. Rumble held up the last apple with both front hooves, grateful that he had not been literally crushed. He was prepared to see his brother through to a new record; he managed to overcome his nervous shaking and held his whole body absolutely still. Both brothers were ready for a moment of triumph. Meanwhile, Canterlot Castle's head waiter had gotten together with a squire after too much cider.
With the buzzer sounding off, Thunderlane shot through the field with all his might, creating an audible roar of air in his turbulence. In a blink of an eye, he successfully swiped the apple from his assistant's hoof with a record breaking time.

"Two-point-nine seconds!" cheered Spitfire along with the crowd. "He's done it!"

But the force from the older pegasus's grasp proved to be too much for Rumble. His pedestal wobbled and swayed extremely and managed to throw off his balance. In an instant, he slipped off his hooves and plummeted toward the ground. Every instinct told Rumble to flutter to safety, but he was still committed to concealing his identity. It seemed he was ready to embrace grievous injury rather than out himself.
Then, he was swept up like an apple. Thunderlane came about and caught Rumble just moments from hitting the grass. He carried the foal upon his back as the relieved crowd cheered him on even louder for his gallant act.

"Not to worry, folks," announced Spitfire. "You're always safe around a Wonderbolt! Well done, Thunderlane, and thank you to our courageous fan!" She then muttered to herself. "I am so not getting sued again this time."

Thunderlane once again circled the green with his assistant riding on his back. Rumble was now overcome with elation. He had not only managed to keep his cover, but also helped to bring his beloved brother another day of glory. In that moment, despite his outrageous disguise, he felt like a champion.

"Hey, Little Bro," said Thunderlane, turning his head back and grinning. "That dress is not your color."

Rumble gawked in alarm. "You knew it was me?!"

"From the moment I saw you in the crowd when the show started. Your horn is sticking out of your wig, by the way." Thunderlane replied as he continued flying. "What are you doing here, Rumble? Something tells me the princesses don't know where you are."

With a sigh, Rumble confessed. "Well, they're out for the day, and far as they know, I'm still at the castle. I heard you guys were performing here and I just had to come see. But I wasn't allowed to leave so I just...lied my way out, I guess."

"Just to see us perform?" scoffed Thunderlane. "Why shouldn't that be an excuse to leave your royal duties for the day? Besides, you've seen plenty of our little routines."

"I just...maybe I really just wanted to see you again." Rumble said. "I miss you, Big Bro."

"I miss you too, Little Bro." Thunderlane assured him. "But don't go trying something stupid like that again. You'll always get a chance to see me. And the other Wonderbolts, of course."

"I know." Rumble sighed. "All this royal business and stuff is just suffocating me, I guess. That's why I felt like I had to escape for a while."

"Well then, let's say we make the rest of your day off worthwhile, shall we?" smirked Thunderlane.

"You mean you're gonna tell anypony?" asked Rumble.

"And get in trouble for endangering the life of a prince?" Thunderlane winked at him. "Wouldn't dream of it!"

Rumble gleamed and hugged his brother over his shoulders. His day off had indeed been worthwhile.

The stunt show had continued without pause, with the Wonderbolts giving their fans a few more rousing stunt segments. It was around sunset when the show concluded, and the Ponyville denizens filed out with thrilling memories to keep forever. After informing his teammates that he was ducking out, Thunderlane discretely escorted Rumble out of the park, having made sure the younger gave the dress and sincere thanks to his pal Apple Bloom. The two brothers then quickly flew off together towards the direction of Canterlot from the Ponyville flying space, assured that they had not been noticed. Rumble felt like a weight had been lifted as he stretched his wings and soared alongside his brother.

"Looks like the sun is setting as normal." Thunderlane said, looking out on the horizon. "You think Princess Celestia doesn't suspect you're away?"

"Seems like it." Rumble replied. "She's been known to forget her duties in the case of an emergency."

"This was close, Rumble." Thunderlane exhaled heavily. "You owe me for this one."

"Oh definitely, Big Bro!" nodded Rumble. "You and the Wonderbolts can come and stay at the castle whenever you like! And better yet, I'll come to all your shows and help you practice as much as possible!"

"Heh, let's not get ahead of ourselves." Thunderlane grinned at his little brother's devotion. "And let's just be glad there's no sign you were ever in Ponyville today."

That night, in the darkened woods of the Everfree Forest, the Royal Guard huddled around a campfire, having ran far enough from the rampaging Granny Smith to have gotten lost. Shivering from the elements and hoping dearly to make thier escape, the disheveled escort team survived on each other's company. As they roasted edible-looking branches over the fire, one of them somehow procured a guitar and sang in the same dreary, monotonous drone.

"There's a fly on the tongue of the frog on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea. There's a fly on the tongue of the frog on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea. There's a hole...There's a hole...There's a hole in the bottom of the sea."

"Hey, did you guys hear that?" another guard spoke. "In the bushes! It sounded like a...like a..."

"Calm down, soldier," a third guard replied. "There's no such thing as haunted scarecrows."

"Alright men, it's settled." A fourth guard announced to the rest. "We're all gonna have to strip down and cuddle for warmth."

"SIR, YES SIR!"

Author's Note

Beware, beware, you pony folk,
Of the curse of the hedge thou shan't evoke,
For within there dwells a ghastly sight,
To fill turnip farmers with shock and fright,

When you hear the rustling of barley and hay,
And the moon has closed the light of day,
Run quick from the hedge and do not slow,
Or meet your doom...with the haunted scarecrow...

Sorcery?

Chapter 4: Sorcery?

"So then that's when I said to the baron, 'That's no giraffe, that's my caddy'!" said Fancy Pants with a snooty chuckle.

The rest of the rich denizens of Canterlot relayed a wave of laughter as they sat at the royal dining table. The smell of haute cuisine and merlot-inebriated breath the air above the elaborate banquet prepared for them and the royal sisters. This frequent get-together once again included the presence of Prince Rumble, who tossed around the bits of sauteed tofu around his fine china plate. Stories about too much haze on the golf course often bemused young ponies, at least hardworking ones.
The chatter was enough to give Rumble the feeling of wandering through the San Palimeno Desert, so he began to feel parched. Unfortunately his glass was already empty. He turned aside to speak to a servant.

"Excuse me, can I have some more fruit punch?" he requested.

"I apologize, my prince," the servant replied. "But our reserves seem to dried up, after his highness's royal gaming marathon. We'll have to order some more."

Rumble huffed. He hadn't drunk an actual glass of water since Thunderlane introduced him to punch years ago. He looked to his right at his fellow monarch's plate set.

"Princess Luna?" he whispered. "Can I have some of your-"

"WHY CERTAINLY, DEAR PRINCE RUMBLE!" bellowed Luna. "Every prince must acquire a taste for wine!"

"Absolutely not!" scorned Celestia from Luna's right. "Royal or not, I do not allow children to have a drop of alcohol. Really, Luna, these are not medieval times."

"Tia, there is a saying they have in the land of Hoofington:" Luna rebutted with a sip from her chalice. "You're no fun anymore."

Desperation set in. Rumble badly needed a splash of refreshment, particularly with fruity notes. He stared at the half full glass of merlot sloshing in Fancy Pants' hoof across the table, which by now would make a total of four glasses.

"That's when I realized how hilarious it is to confuse cabana boys." Fancy Pants chortled. "You give them a towel that's red and blue, and a towel that's blue and red, and then they try to remember which one is yours!"

"Hm, once again," said Celestia. "You and I have very different ideas of humor, Mr. Pants."

The conversation and thirst was excruciating. Rumble could do nothing but stare at the debonair's wine glass with a dry tongue. Before long, the glass appeared to be growing larger, too big for Fancy Pants to hold in his hoof. The glass grew and grew until it was nearly three times its size, which is what happens when one levitates an object closer to themselves. The next thing Rumble knew was that the wine glass was in front of his face supported by nothing.

"I say!" exclaimed Fancy Pants, half out of offence and half out of surprise.

The entire dinner party gasped as Rumble stared in awe, less now at the glass of wine, and more at the glowing purple aura surrounding it. He looked to his right, thinking that Princess Luna was trying to offer him a sneaky taste. But she was aghast as well, along with her sister. This only confirmed for Rumble that the aura was not coming from any of the guests, or the servants, but from himself. At that moment, he noticed a tingling warmth in the center of his forehead.

"HUZZAH!" cheered Luna. "THE PRINCE HAS MAGIC AFTER ALL!"

"Well well well," Celestia grinned as she levitated the merlot bottle and topped Rumble off. "Looks like we have some new business to attend to."

Rumble felt a bad twist in his gut at the thought of what was to come. Though it was not as bad as tasting the wine five seconds later. The effort was not worth it.

...

The next day, after a very restless sleep, Rumble found himself in the royal gilded carriage which rolled in tow down the lavish shopping district of Canterlot. He was partially relieved that this day trip was not meant for another public address or journey to a foreign land. But he was primarily concerned knowing that he was bound upon a different kind of journey: one of knowledge and mastery of the arcane arts.

"Princess, I'm not so sure I would be any good with magic." Rumble said, sheepishly. "I mean, sure, I'm a level five pyromancer in Swords and Stallions, but I'm no Twilight Sparkle."

"Magic users do not pride themselves on their level of skill, Rumble." Celestia replied, sitting across from him on the carriage. "By learning to control your new powers, you will ensure a greater quality of life."

"Soooo by making stuff float without picking them up?" discerned Rumble.

"I assure you, my friend," said Celestia. "Magic goes far beyond trivial needs. You will see once we arrive."

"Where are we going again?" asked Rumble.

"The first stop for all fledgling unicorns." Celestia looked out the window as the carriage slowed to a halt.

The two stepped off the carriage as their escort held open the door and onto the sidewalk. Rumble peered upward at possibly the oldest place of business he had every visited or will have visited. Golden Glossary's Guides and Grimoires was the central repository for magical texts and tomes in the city of Canterlot, particularly for students of magic upon every first day of school. Luckily for Rumble, it was their spring break and there was no crowd to block his path to higher learning. He had heard Twilight mentioning the shop in stories of her academy days. He hoped that he could experience the same kind of ecstasy that she felt as a foal.
As the door opened itself, Rumble came face first with an entire universe of knowledge; but mostly with the immediate scent of mothballs. The compact shop was void of any decoration as all of the walls were completely lined with neatly alphabetized magical guides, from AAAAAHH!! I Turned My Auntie into an Aardvark, to Zzzzzzz: Zero-Skill Sleeping Spells. Only the daylight through the windows illuminated the dim atmosphere, which was choked with a haze of dust.

Rumble gave a slight cough in the doorway. "Yeesh, are you sure this place is still in business?" he asked.

"They say that some of the tomes in Golden Glossary's collection are even older than me." Celestia said.

"Now that I just don't believe." Rumble said absent-mindedly before being shoved further inside by a bemused Celestia's aura.

He slid across the floor down one of the aisles of bookshelves and bumped into a rolling ladder. A withered voice yelled out as a pony fell from the ladder's rungs. He was an elderly gray unicorn with a curly beard and muttonchops, wearing a tweed coat and a pair of bifocals. The gentlecolt shook off the daze from the fall and instantly eyed the two visitors with delight.

"Princess Celestia!" he greeted, adjusting his glasses. "Another pupil thirsting for knowledge I see?"

"You can say that, Golden Glossary," smiled Celestia. "Prince Rumble here has finally tapped into his magical ability, and he will be under my private tutelage."

"Splendid!" Golden Glossary shook Rumble's hoof. "It is an honor, my young prince. As you know, books can take you to a whole different world. Well in my shop, these books can bring that world to you!"

"You mean like this one?"

"Not that one!"

Rumble immediately opened a book leaning against the ladder and unleashed an array of spiked tentacles that lashed at him from the pages, backed by a horrific screech.

Golden Glossary clamped the book shut. "Sorry, that's the Demonic Codex of Unspeakable Horrors. I was going to put that one on reserve."

"...For who?" Rumble quivered in shock.

"Anyway, let's find you the right book, shall we?" Golden Glossary led the bewildered boy down the aisle. "Now, what area of magic are you most interested in studying? Potions? Enchantment? Transformation? Elementalism?"

"Oh, uh, I never really thought about it." Rumble said. "I kinda just thought I would get some kind of general reference book. You know, something to just give me a crash course?"

"Oh ho, my dear boy," chuckled the bookkeeper. "One does not 'crash' through magical study! Each different subject takes years of careful understanding and equal attention. There's an entire curriculum, you see."

"I'm not walking out of here with just one book, am I?" Rumble winced.

"My customers never do!" Golden Glossary then rolled away on a ladder, climbing up to reach a higher shelf. "Now let's see, for enchantment, normally I would recommend a beginner's guide such as My First Hex. But since you're starting your training a bit later in your youth, I would suggest this one- So You're A Late-Blooming Wizard Who Knows Nothing About Enchantment." He levitated the book down to Rumble. It even featured a picture of a troubled teenager on the cover.

"That's oddly specific." Rumble took it with some strain. This intro book was already over five-hundred pages long with large pages and a thick leather binding. It would be typical of the titles to follow.

"Whether or not enchanting will be your area of expertise, Prince Rumble," said Golden Glossary, riding his ladder elsewhere. "It is vital that you diversify your magical knowledge, in order to prepare yourself for the worst."

"Like what?" asked Rumble, hurrying to catch up with him.

"Like embarrassing yourself with a clothes-changing elixir that goes terribly wrong!" he grabbed another tome from on high. "Take this!"

"101 Do-It-Yourself Potions." Rumble read the front cover, then the back. "'Warning: Do not attempt potions 35-101 by yourself.'"

"You'll also need Conjuring Through the Ages," Golden Glossary began dispatching texts from his vast shelves, filling Rumble's stack at a frantic rate. "And of course Weather Magic For Silly Fillies, Transformation: Your Changing Body, A Brief History of Time Manipulation, The Do's and Don'ts of Robe Fashion-"

"Come on, man!" Rumble's knees were buckling under the weight of his book stack. "I haven't even learned to levitate stuff on purpose yet!"

Golden Glossary then pulled out yet another tome, before immediately regretting it. "Whoopsie, what am I doing? This isn't for you. Alchemy And You. As if I would give this to a student."

"What's wrong with alchemy?" asked Rumble under great endurance.

"Ugh, the subject of alchemy, my lad, is nothing more than the stoner older brother of potion-making." Golden Glossary scoffed, breaking his whimsical character a bit. "It really just boils down to either fabricating gold or a stone that grants everlasting life. Pretentious nonsense!"

"That actually sounds pretty awesome." Rumble said.

"No! Don't be an over-powered jerk!" scolded Glossary. "Stick to the basic curriculum!"

Celestia approached. "I think this is all we'll need for now, Mr. Glossary."

"Very well, Princess!" smiled Glossary as he teleported to the front counter. "I understand you're familiar with the usual rate for beginners' books?"

"It's all on the royal account." Celestia said. "I know how expensive textbooks can be from a quality source." She then levitated the book load onto the counter, finally easing Rumble's burden.

"Man," he heaved. "At least I'll get good use out of them. It's gonna take me my whole life to read all these books!"

"Oh I doubt that, young prince," chuckled Glossary. "These are all rentals."

...

A week later, Rumble found himself wandering into the royal hedge gardens of Canterlot Castle. He had strolled through this part of the regal grounds before and had felt unnerved by such lifelike topiary creations as the Chimera, the Manticore, the Hydra, and of course the Discord, which oddly enough had already grown out of the ground in that shape. But Rumble was not here for another gaze at these leafy creatures. It was time to put his first week of magical study to the test. Princess Celestia approached him from behind the Basilisk.

"Good morning, Rumble," she greeted. "I hope you have studied up on your new material?"

"At least the parts that weren't in a dead language." Rumble shrugged.

"Then perhaps you are prepared to demonstrate what you have learned so far." Celestia said. "Now, as you should know, magic is a force based on change. Therefore, transformation is a vital skill for spellcasters. So I want you to try out some simple transforming spells on some of the fresh hedges we have in this garden."

"You're saying I'm just using magic to make bush art?" discerned Rumble. "Shouldn't I be using it to make something, ya know, real?"

"Topiary is a real as you make it, my dear prince." Celestia retorted. "Besides, you are far from ready to make any transformations into real objects, or living things for that matter. This is an ideal practice method for beginners." She then levitated a formless hedge in a pot in front of Rumble. "Now I want you to take an image, any image, and hold in your head in as much detail as possible. When you are completely focused on that image, make it real in the form of this hedge. Do you think you can do that?"

"All I can picture is a hedge." Rumble said, staring at the humble plant.

"Anything else, and make it real." Celestia encouraged.

Rumble took a deep breath and faced the hedge, but unfocused his vision as he tried to picture anything he could turn it into. An array of different animals crossed his mind's eye, followed by a plethora of food which had been on his mind through pretty much of the day. It did not seem possible to transform a hedge into an entire full course meal.

"Just relax your senses, Rumble," said Celestia softly. "Let go of all distractions except for the image that strikes you the most."

Suddenly, the power in Rumble's horn was flowing. He could see it. He could visualize the image that he wanted to make real. One that only a young stallion facing the rigors of life could. And just like that, he fired his magic and the bush was transformed.

"Rumble! Goodness gracious!" Celestia scorned.

"AH! I'm sorry!" Rumble panicked as he tried to wish away a lewd image of Fleur de Lis he once spotted on a magazine cover. "I didn't think it would work!"

"For Equestria's sake, change it to something else!" Celestia shielded her eyes.

"Hang on, just let me try!" Shaking off his embarrassment, Rumble strained to channel magic back into his horn and visualize and different transformation. But while his mind was scrambling, his eyes were still fixed on the flattering hedge that posed before him. Before he could unfocus from it, he had already cast a spell half-voluntarily and hit the bush. It was not one of transformation however, as evidenced by the bush suddenly coming to life.

"Hey there, big boy." The hedge of Fleur de Lis spoke to Rumble in a sultry tone. Not only had the plant now gained motor skills, stretching into a striking pose, but it also mimicked the real Fleur de Lis's voice exactly.

"AAAHH!! That's not right!" shrieked Rumble.

"Prince Rumble what do you think you're doing?!" scolded Celestia.

"I don't know!" he responded.

"You're not supposed to learn animation spells until next lesson!" added Celestia.

"I can fix this! I can fix this!" the colt shook with panic.

The hedge giggled. "My, aren't you a cute prince. You make my leaves rustle."

"Nyehh!" Rumble skipped all rational thought and fired another burst of magic at the seductive plant, hoping to destroy it. Instead, the random spell only made the hedge stronger.

"Ooh! That feels nice." Fleur de Lis sighed as her lean, leafy body grew to a hundred hooves tall. "I'm so big! I hope I don't step on my cute little manly prince."

"AAAAAHHH!!!" Rumble screamed out of both terror and infatuation.

"And now you're skipping ahead to growth spells?!" Celestia blurted at him. "Rumble, for the love of the sun, rectify this! The groundskeepers are watching!"

"Woo! Way to go, Prince Rumble!" whooped a stallion with a pair of hedge clippers. "I could never get Fleur de Lis to look just right!"

"Oh man!" Rumble hid the shame on his face. But he was not ready to give up. He mustered up all the energy he could manage into his horn and prepared himself for the most powerful spell he could think of in order to destroy the sexy monstrosity. Unfortunately, he was capable of pulling off something even more powerful than destruction. Once again, he fired the wrong spell at Mega Fleur. This time, it was a love charm, which was not ideal for an already flirtatious overgrown hedge.

"Oh my dear sweet Prince Rumble!" gasped the pseudo Fleur de Lis. "I cannot hold back my feelings any longer! I must have you! Come into my branches and let me nestle you!" The lovely bush monster knelt down to sweep Rumble into her giant, prickly hooves.

"I can't believe this is how I die!" Rumble screamed as he embraced his doom with eyes shut.

At the last moment, Celestia charged in front of the hulking beauty and cast her own magic upon it, unleashing a huge and much brighter aura. With a long burst of light, the Fleur de Hedge screamed in fright then vanished from existence, leaving only silence and Rumble still cowering for a few more seconds.

"...Is it over?" he quipped, opening his eyes at last. "Am I dead?" He looked around to see the coast was clear. "Wait, did you kill it, Princess?"

"Well, not quite, Rumble." Celestia sighed with disdain. "I do not 'kill' living things, so I simply banished it to another part of the world. I do not where, however."

"So, uh, turns out I already know four kinds of spells!" smiled Rumble sheepishly. "Not bad for a first-timer, eh?"

"Go to your room." Celestia uttered without even looking at him.

"Yes, ma'am." Rumble slinked away in shame.

...

In the expansive royal kitchen of Canterlot Castle, the team of gourmet chefs were busy cleaning the ranges of dishes and pots to make way for dinner later that day. This was the perfect time for Rumble to settle in and practice another important skill for magic users. He sat on a high stool before one of the preparation counters and poured over a textbook, a small cauldron and rows of plants for ingredients. But much to the disdain of the cooks, the selection of ingredients was less parsley and sage, and more wolfsbane and deadly nightshade.

"Ey! You!" shouted Haute Cuisine, the surly Prench head chef, as he approached Rumble wielding a ladle. "You cannot cook in MY kitchen! Prince or not! Sortez! Sortez, garcon petit!"

"I'm just trying to practice making potions." Rumble rebutted.

"Sacre bleu!" scoffed Haute Cuisine. "No magic on my counters! You poison my food with your witchcraft!"

"I'll clean up afterwards, I swear!" replied Rumble.

"Je fetche la Princess!" exclaimed the chef.

"Chef Haute Cuisine," said Princess Luna upon entering the kitchen. "I assure thou that the scholarly Prince Rumble is under my complete and ever watchful guidance as he pursues his further magical mastery."

"Quoi?" Haute Cuisine cocked his head.

"She says get lost, snail breath." Rumble taunted.

"Tout de leur!" huffed the snooty head chef as he stormed out of the kingdom of his very own.

"Pray tell, Prince Rumble," said Luna. "Have you procured your first elixir yet?"

"Not really." Rumble sulked. "Potions are harder than I thought! You'd think it would just be about following recipes. But every time I take a swing at this 'Everlasting Energy Elixir', I feel like I'd have a better time making Haute Cuisine's tofu Wellington."

"Never despair, young pupil!" encouraged Luna. "No great brewer has ever succeeded on their first day. Potions may not be your forte, but all it takes, my dear, is god-like perseverance and determination!"

"God-like?" pondered Rumble.

"Have another go, sweet prince!" Luna grinned.

"Oh alright." Rumble sighed and brought the pot of water to a boil. He then scooped up a combination of herbs, carefully divvying up the correct portions of each. "Let's see, two leaves of valley lily. Two tablespoons of crushed wolfsbane. Ten shavings of mandrake root. Half a cup of morning dew. One teaspoon of vanilla extract for taste. Now to stir." He grabbed a wooden spoon.

"Now remember," said Luna, softly. "Brewing is nay much about the portions of ingredients, but about how they are blended. The right mixture and distribution of the ingredients in a potion will decide the potency and power of the-"

The pot let erupted with a explosion that scorched both the prince and princess's faces.

"...Now you tell me." Rumble muttered and dumped out his botched potion into the sink.

"Keep your ambition, my prince," Luna comforted him. "And remember, anypony can brew. Anypony." She then exited with her mane slowly singing like a fuse.

Now alone, Rumble let his failure weigh him down. He angrily swept his herbs off of the counter and buried his face in his hooves. "What am I even doing here?" he asked himself, regarding potions and more.

About a half hour of sulking later, he heard a faint rustling and skittering coming from across the counter where he laid his head. He did even bother raising his head, thinking the noise was only a cook preparing a meal. Then, he heard a more conspicuous sound. A tiny squeak. At first it sounded like nothing but an old knob on the stove. But the squeaked repeated itself, and suddenly, Rumble's interested was piqued. He slowly raised his head and inch and opened his eye, first a crack, then completely wide.
Staring at him from across the counter in the vacant kitchen was a large, matted rat, standing on the brim of the cooking pot and dropping bits of wolfsbane into the steaming water. Rumble jolted up on his stool.

"No...bucking...way." His jaw hung open as the rat continued to add drops of vanilla extract. Rumble darted his head around to make sure that he was the only one there, for ponies anyway. "I knew there were rats in this kitchen, but I never would have guessed there'd be one that can cook! Should I...should I warn the chef about this?"

The rat surprised Rumble even more by hefting the peeler, which was almost its size, and began peeling fresh stalks of mandrake. It was unclear whether this rodent was inhibited by magic or if it was just highly dexterous. But Rumble only saw this as a blessing in disguise.

"This is incredible!" beamed Rumble. "This rat isn't just cooking, it's brewing! It's like it knows exactly what I'm trying to make! I'll be elated if you can make this potion better than me, little guy!...Or really embarrassed for that matter."

The rat then hauled the spoon up to the shelf above the pot and began stirring. After a few anxious minutes, it jumped back down to the counter, turned off the heat, and stood on its hind legs as if awaiting for Rumble to sample its creation.

Rumble took the spoon. "Are you sure?" he asked the creature.

The rat squeaked enthusiastically.

With a cautious reach, Rumble took a spoonful of the brew after it had cooled down and slowly slurped a drop of it. In an instant, he felt as if he could run several marathons. Rumble gave a loud whoop and leaped from his stool. He flew beneath the kitchen ceiling, weaving rapidly around the vents and oven stacks. He even grabbed a pair of spoons and drummed on the pots laying on the ranges. Finally taking control of his burst of energy, Rumble flew back to above his counter and grabbed the rat in his hooves as it gave a startled squeak.

"Looks like I just found me a new study aid!" he exclaimed and scratched behind the rat's ears.

...

After a week of more intensive study, Rumble assembled a small audience to the throne room for a demonstration. Princesses Celestia, Luna and Twilight, who was visiting at the time, sat at their respectful thrones as the young prince stood before them. He opened a small trunk full of many colorful liquid vials, containing the fruits of his labor over the past week. Squatting on his shoulder was his ever faithful assistant.

"My, you really have been busy, Prince Rumble." Celestia said.

"It was all thanks to just a little perseverance!" replied Rumble. "And totally not a super sentient animal helping me make potions by pulling on my mane to control my body!"

"Rumble, I appreciate how far you've come as a student of magic," said Twilight. "But I think you shouldn't get carried away. Making too many potions can be disastrous to a novice. And it looks like you might be overachieving."

"Nonsense, Princess Twilight," boasted Rumble. "I shall show you all that my brews are foolproof. And I will demonstrate with the most powerful concoction I have yet...concocked!"

"Huzzah!" cheered Luna. "I do so love a mage with showmanship!"

Rumble unfastened one of the vials from his case. "My ladies, I give you the Equine Elixir! The potion that will turn any animal into a pony instantly!"

"Are you mad?!" blurted Twilight. "That potion is way beyond your ability! Even Zecora says that morphing elixirs can be highly risky."

"Relax, Princess," scoffed Rumble. "I'm only going to demonstrate it on my lab rat here. Soon he shall be born anew into the civilized world on ponykind! His name is Lester!"

"I must insist, Rumble," said Celestia. "Perhaps this is not such a good idea if Twilight here says it's dangerous."

"Pshaw, sister!" replied Luna. "We shall give our fair prince and Sir Lester the benefit of the doubt!"

"I'm just glad Fluttershy is not here to see this." Twilight sighed anxiously.

Without further adieu, Rumble popped off the cork from the vial with one hoof and grabbed Lester in the other. "Now this might taste pretty nasty, Lester, but for the good of science! Er...magic...for me." He poured the vial into the rat's mouth as it drank down the potion willingly. Immediately the effects took hold.

Lester's body began to convulse and spasm, squeaking loudly with panic. Rumble placed him on the marble floor as an unusual magical aura overcame the control test rodent. Suddenly, Lester's body was transformed into an amorphous shape that grew in size more and more rapidly. Princesses Celestia and Twilight watched in horror, while Luna and Rumble gazed with anticipation, as the rat attained the size and shape of an adult pony. The aura dissipated and Lester's final form was revealed.

"Golden Glossary?!" exclaimed Celestia.

"Ha ha HA, Princess Celestia!" cackled the old bookstore proprietor, as his teeth shrank and his worm tail turned to hair. "Bet you weren't expecting to see ME in your castle!"

"...And why wouldn't I?" asked Celestia suspiciously.

"Tia!" gasped Luna. "You let this twisted sorcerer within our defenses?!"

"What are you talking about, Luna?" replied Celestia, baffled.

"Whoa whoa whoa, hold up," stammered Rumble. "So you've been the rat helping me with my potions?"

"Say what?!" came Celestia, evermore confused.

"Correct, my little dupe!" Glossary grinned. "For you see, I have been attempting to gain access to the Canterlot Castle for decades. But Princess Luna had instructed the guards to always keep me out no matter how hard I tried. But now I finally found my way in!"

"Why would Princess Luna ban you from the castle?" asked Twilight.

"Because he is not the real Golden Glossary!" said Luna.

"Luna this is insane!" protested Celestia.

"Oh but it's true, Princess!" the pony once known as Golden Glossary chuckled. "You see, Prince Rumble, all I had to do was trick a novice user like you! Not only did you have access to the castle, but you were the perfect pawn for me to use to confront my enemy!"

"So...you had me learn a potion that turns you back into a pony from a rat?" Rumble cocked his head.

"Nnnno, dear boy," he slimed. "I transformed myself. The potion I taught you, that you made me drink, was a magic enhancement potion! And now, my true form shall be revealed!" With that, the old pony's eyes turned up as his head slowly began to swivel one-hundred-eighty degrees, with a sickening fleshy noise.

"Oh sweet mother of- blrgh..." Rumble fought the urge to wretch.

As soon as the old mage's head turned all the way around, a new face appeared on the back, what was now the front. The face was hideous and decrepit, and almost bore a likeness to a equine-like snake. The horrifying figure stared at Rumble with yellowed eyes and a pointy-toothed smile. Rumble was on the verge of soiling himself.

"Just as I had thought!" exclaimed Luna. "It is the dark warlock Cranjek!"

"How astute of you, Princess!" hissed the cloaked warlock. With a single zap from his crooked horn, he instantly incapacitated the approaching royal guards behind him with a powerful stun spell. "And now you and your sister shall bow before the new supreme power of all Equestria!"

"Not if we have anything to say about it!" Celestia stood her ground and charged her magic.

"We'll make short work of you, fiend!" added Twilight.

"I may be outnumbered," chuckled Cranjek. "But you are severely outmatched! In case you've forgotten, I've had plenty of time to brush up on my spell books!"

Before the trio of princesses could conjure a single spell, Cranjek unleashed a streak of magical lightning in their direction. The streak split into three and enveloped the alicorns in their blinding energy. Immediately the princesses were shackled to the floor by energy bindings and their horns were dormant of any magical aura.

"It is a magic inhibitor curse!" said Luna. "One that has not been in practice for centuries!"

"Why do I feel like this happens to us way too often?" Celestia sulked.

"Maybe to you." Twilight muttered.

Rumble watched in horror as his mentors were easily overpowered by the menacing shapeshifter. He could not even find the will to move his body as Cranjek loomed over him.

"Now my young, unwitting prince," hissed the warlock. "You have a choice to make. Either be eradicated with the rest of the heretics who call themselves royalty...or join me, and be an apprentice to a real master of the arcane arts! Come, Prince Rumble. With more practice and study, you may even surpass me one day. If you sear your allegiance, that is."

"You...you...you..." Rumble quivered as he barely managed to regain his courage. "You made me read books. And you would have me read more?! I'll never join you! I'd rather die right here, right now!"

"Hmph, so be it." Cranjek charged his horn once again and prepared to strike the defenseless colt down.

Suddenly, an entire stained glass window from across the throne room shattered into a hail of shards. Something was breaking into the hallowed halls of Canterlot Castle; something big, monstrous and relentless. Cranjek became distracted by the commotion. Rumble gawked with mouth agape as the mighty creature towered over them.

"Rumble my love!" bellowed the giant hedge amalgam of an infatuated Fleur de Lis. "I have found you at last!"

"Hummah hafma...famanphlamm..." was all Rumble could manage as a response.

"Oh come on!" blurted Celestia. "I thought I banished you, you thumping, caterpillar-ridden hussy!"

"Yes, I was banished to the San Palimeno Desert." Fleur de Bush said. "But not even the harshest sand and heat can stop the power of love! I sensed that my sweet prince was in peril, and I have come to rescue him from the evil that would keep us apart!"

"What is this madness?!" demanded Cranjek. "I am trying to take over the world here!"

"You!" roared Fleur. "You cold, heartless snake! I will show you the true fury of my love and devotion! Have no fear, my darling prince!"

"Back off, you incredibly desperate weed!" barked Cranjek.

With a booming, tree-like roar, Fleur de Lis's leafy likeness extended her branched arm and swiped Cranjeck away like a pesky leafcutter ant. The withered old warlock slammed high up into the far wall, leaving a sizable indentation in the stone. Cranjek glowered and tried to recover, but was quickly bombarded with a hail of wooden projectiles. Fleur de Tree fired sharpened twigs from her hoof, pinning her beloved's assailant into the wall by his clothes. Unable to move, Cranjek resorted to a teleportation spell, using up a good amount of his energy, and reappeared alongside the subdued princesses.

"I have no time for groundskeeping!" he sneered and levitated the three mares. "Just try and stop me from dethroning the former most magical beings in all of Eue-"

Without hesitation, Fleur de Leaf unraveled a coiling vine that stretched out and wrapped around Cranjek like a hungry kraken's tentacle. She hoisted the trapped sorcerer into the air and dangled him in front of her enraged face.

"I will not even let you hurt my little Rumble's friends!" she boomed.

"That's it!" growled Cranjek. "There's only one way to deal with overgrowth!"

He took in a long inhale while charging his magic. With his hooves tied, Cranjek unleashed a plume of fire from his lungs, enveloping his adversary's face in blinding magical flames. But when the blaze fizzled out, not a single stick on her was singed.

"What?!" exclaimed Cranjek. "How is this possible?! That was ancient pyromancey!"

"My love burns hotter!" rebutted the plant elemental.

"Thou go, girl!" cheered Luna, still immobile.

Fleur de Bush finally dropped Cranjek onto the floor, but was not through yet. She opened her dark maw and unleashed a swarm of bees that immediately began stinging the dark wizard left and right.

"Not the bees!" he screamed as he struggled to shoo the insects away.

In desperation, Cranjek tried to revamp his fire spell. But he could only let out a single small flame before a kamikaze bee flew straight down his throat. As the crumbling warlock rolled on the floor, choking and reeling in pain, the flame spread across his dusty robe. The once-menacing deceiver was now incapacitated by both nature and his own hubris.

"Happy place. Happy place. Happy place." Rumble repeated frantically, avoiding his eyes from the grizzly scene.

But in one last effort for survival, Cranjek reached into his pocket and procured a random vial of potion. He uncorked it and doused his body with the dubious liquid, the smell of which was enough to drive the bees away. Finally able to stand, Cranjek rasped in fury as he tried to stomp out his flaming robe.

"ENOUGH!" he hissed from his swollen lips. "I will have complete control over the realm of magic! All of Equestria will bow down to the awesome might of Golden Gloss- I mean CRANJEK!"

"You fool!" cried out Luna. "Do you realized what you have showered yourself in?! I know that pungent odor! That is the dreaded Balm of Boom! An explosive potion that will react with any source of heat! In mere moments, this entire castle will be reduced to smolders!"

Cranjek gave a dumbfounded glance downward, realizing that the flames eating away his robe were now rejoining themselves with his body, now dripping in highly combustible potion. He then shook his hoof at the sky. "With my last breath, I curse every stupid foal who doodled in my returned books!"

"I'll save you, my love!" came Fleur de Lis. She quickly reformed her body into a huge grassy sphere that enveloped the doomed Cranjek, shrinking down to close off any open space in her state.

"What are you doing?!" exclaimed Rumble.

"The only thing I can to save you and everything you care about, my sweet." Fleur said with a tearful smile. "Do not cry for me, Prince Rumble. For you are too beautiful for a monster like me. I sacrifice myself in the name of our love!"

In a split second, the throne room became awash in a white flash, followed by a thundering blast. Rumble, the princesses, and the unconscious guards were swept away by the immense force. Windows were shattered and furniture was toppled. But miraculously, the structure of the building remain intact, despite the violent shaking.
In the end, the blast faded away and the survivors arose slowly and blearily. All around him, Rumble could see scorch marks, ruined pieces of rug and drapery and even fragments of Cranjek's robes. What was most striking was the vast amount of broken branches and petrified leaves that now littered the chamber. Luna picked up a barren twig as an ember fizzled out upon it.

"'Twas bush that killed the beast." She said somberly.

Now unrestrained, Celestia summoned her magic and revived her personal guard, immediately ordering them to fetch a cleanup crew. She then turned to her horrified protoge. "Well, Rumble, I hope you learned something from all of this." She said sternly. "This is what happens when you not only neglect to control your magic, but use it irresponsibly. I suggest you restart your studies!"

"Now hold on, Princess," interjected Twilight. "Rumble may have indirectly gotten us nearly killed by a maniacal dark wizard. But he also very indirectly saved all of Canterlot from destruction with his topiary marefirend. No harm, no foul as I see it."

"Besides, dear sister," discerned Luna. "Were you not the one who took Prince Rumble into that sham of a bookshop in the first place?"

Celestia glowered for a moment. "Alright, so I have a hard time telling a kindly old bookkeeper from a power-hungry warlock. I'd like to see you get better with age, Lulu. And, Rumble, I suppose you do deserve some commendation for standing up to Cranjek and refusing to join him. You get a gold star."

"Really?" he perked up. "Where is it?"

"Where is what?" asked Celestia.

"The gold star!"

"It's a metaphor."

"Ah beans."

Twilight approached the prince and smiled. "Rumble, I think you have learned much in the magical arts. I suggest you continue your studies during your princehood."

"No...*bleep*...way!" snapped Rumble. "It'll be a looooong time before I start reading any of that dangerous voodoo again! Besides, all this studying has severely cut into my tabletop game time! So if you'll excuse me, ladies, I have some dark wizards to kill!" He stormed out through the doorway, but not before turning back once more. "Unrelated!"

...

Meanwhile, in her lavish estate by the castle, Fleur de Lis attended to a flower bed in her luscious backyard garden. She tended to her flowers with a watering can filled with a special magical growth formula that made her beauties vibrant and strong. But as she watered, a withered branch landed upon the soil end up. Within moments, the top end of the stick began sprouting small leaves that bunched together as they grew in numbers. Fleur de Lis watched in awe as the leaves then took shape, and soon enough, she was staring into her own miniature, green face which gazed up to her and spoke.

"Ugh! Who is this ugly tramp?!" scoffed the plant.

"AAAAAHH!!" the real Fleur de Lis screamed. "Fancy Pants, come quick! Those creepy groundskeepers have been thinking about me again!"