T, the Tiniest Trollby Piquo PieChaptersChapter 1: A-pulls Chapter 2: Dear Twilight Sparkle.Chapter 3: I have a confession to make.Chapter 4: More A-pullsChapter 1: A-pulls Chapter 1: A-pulls Deer Prince S Celestia, Big Boss Pony, Twilight Sparkle told me to write to you now that I am her friend and have been so for a full five nights. I do not know you, so I will say hi, hi, and was told to bow so I bowed but you are not here so I do not know how you can see me. It must be poky pony magic. Rain-bow maned blue joke colored pony said you should have your sister read you this letter out loud, and wishes you both a happy April Foals Day. Twilight also said read this as if you were reading this out loud is the easiest way to read this because I am still learning how to write right. I am writing to you. I know I am not good at writing but purple poky pony told me it was okay be-cause I was new to writing. She also said I had a completely ill-logical learning curve but I should get better with time. I decided to write be-fore I got better at writing be-cause by the time I learned to write well, which might be always and never, I might forget what happened be-cause trolls are not as good at remembering as pony. Purple pokey pony offered to write for me but I said if I am writing to you, than I would have to be the one writing. Other-wise it would be purple pokey pony writing to you and she would have different things to say. Then she punched the desk with her head. She must really being trying to be-come biggest tough pony in trees be-cause she does that a lot. But she is only pony who lives in tree so I am confused. May-be she want your job as big tough pony in all the trees. He he he. I will now tell you about day I met first pony be-fore I forget. The day I met first pony was a sunny morning. The birds were chirping, giving me my-grain. The sun was shining brightly, stinging my eyes. A gloom-me day in-deed in the Ever Free where my village has lived for longer than zebra or donkey or even pony. But not as long as dragon or star bear, or bird. It was so gloomy that the other, bigger, meaner trolls all told me to go and find food be-cause they wanted to play big troll games. I was not a big troll so I listened to big troll and I went to find food while they stayed in cave. First I went to rain-bow trees. I knew they were rain-bow trees be-cause big trolls said they were rain-bow trees. But I had never seen rain-bows in rain-bow trees so I think big trolls play big trick on tiny T be-cause T is a tiny troll and easy to trick. With-out rain-bow fruit I went looking for mush-rooms. I found some and put them in my sack which I brought with me from village. It was not a very good sack but it was big be-cause I was small and had to bring back more food. Pink pony says that is weird but I say it is troll way. She said 'oh, okey dokie then'. When I get job I will get a better even bigger sack so I can help pony friends. But do not tell them be-cause I want it to be a word that begins with a 's' and ends with 'urprise'. I can not say the word be-cause pink demon pony some-times appears and yells it and then she would ask quest-shins. I would have to tell the truth be-cause I prom-missed I try and be big friend to pony-ville so I can stay and one of my friend-ships is honesty. Purple pokey sparkle pony says I should mention I speak while I write, so last sentence makes since. So with my sack I went to the river. One time when I was an even smaller troll I fell in and a big wave pushed many fish on-to the shore. My village was very happy at all the fish I caught. They even gave me extra punches and did not make fun of me for a whole day. It is very rare that that the whole village did not make fun of me. It was also rare for any troll to get extra punches from every village troll. I think giving every troll two fish was some-thing that was very special and it made me happy. But I have to be care-full when fishing be-cause troll are made like stone and can sink which makes breath-thing hard. So I would jump in the shape of a ball in shallow areas. But now I jump in where ever I want be-cause I made a deal with a fancy purple water lizard. I give him fruit and shiny rocks. He saves me. I still have to make sure he knows I am jumping though. Some-times I give him some of the fish if I can not find him any fruit. He normally eats fish so I feel bad that he does not get fair trade. But he says it is easy way to catch fish so he does not mind. After I caught fish I asked big purple serpent to put me on other side of river. He did and I was very nerve-us be-cause I had never been there be-fore and I do not know if there were other, non blue troll that would try and hurt T. But not even big troll know what is on other side of river, be-cause they can-not cross deep water. I walked for a long time, leaving a trail of notches in tree so I could find my way back. That is old troll village secret for traveling in tree so please do not tell any-troll. After two ten whole minutes I found the end of trees. Purple pony just asked what I meant by two ten whole minutes. I told her and she says I should tell you, so now I am. Troll count on fingers and toes. Trolls have three fingers on each hand and two toes on each foot. This means we count to ten if we are smart troll. I counted to ten twice be-cause T is smart for tiny troll. So after two ten whole minutes I found the end of trees. There was a very small mound made of wood next to small water with a ground over the top. There were many foods: rabbits, birds, squirrel, even pony. But pony was in mound of wood. Purple poky pony— Purple poky pony reminded T her name was Twilight. Rainbow blue pony says I should keep using purple poky pony but T will respect friend's wishes. Twilight says mound of wood was called a cot-age and was a type of house. Butter pony was in her cot-age but orange pony was leaving. I saw she was following a trail so I went ahead of trail and waited behind tree be-cause I am T the tiniest troll and can hide behind large trees. When pony walked by I grabbed her by the hind leg and held her up so she could not get away. She yelled and kicked T, but T is a troll and made of stone so T did not care. I had never seen pony be-fore and did not know pony could talk. I told pony I was sorry but I need-dead to bring back food for village or they would not punch me anymore and hurt my feeling. She calmed down at this which was good be-cause I did not want to hurt pony. I only wanted to eat her and it would make me sad if she suffered. I began to walk to the village holding pony in my hand. She did not struggle but soon we began to talk. She asked why I would not be punched if I did not bring back food, or why T wanted to be punched, may-be both. Any-way I said punching is how troll show respect. No food means no respect means no punches. The harder the punch and the more punches the more respect all trolls have for T. It also makes troll strong as stone. She asked what troll eat be-sides pony. I said we eat many food; any meat and mush-room, some-times fruit and berries. If we are lucky we even eat rain-bow fruit, but I had never been lucky. She then said she would trade some rain-bow fruit and a lot of normal fruit if I let her go. I was not sure. She seemed honest but so do big troll that trick T. Orange pony said her name was A-pull Jack. And she farmed a-pulls. I did not know what farmed was and I was curious. I thought may-be I could make a deal with pony like I made a deal with water lizard. I decided to give her a chance be-cause resistance was futile. We went farther down the trail and I saw many trees that looked like rain-bow trees. There were many other trees that had small round fruit that A-pull Jack said were not ripe. She told me to call out for her brother who would bring the a-pulls. I did not want to do this be-cause brother could bring more ponies which could may-be hurt T as T was a tiny troll and not a big troll. I had to be smart and said "No." She would have to tell me how to get to a-pulls. She did not want to tell me be-cause she said she did not want me to come back and take her a-pulls be-cause she and her family had to eat a-pulls to live. That seemed to make sense so I promised I would only trade for a-pulls or find some on my own. A-pull Jack told me that meant I could not take any a-pulls on the farm, even from the trees. I agreed if she showed me where her farm ended. A-pull Jack showed me many a-pulls. I tried a a-pull and found it was very good. The best sweat food I had ever had. So I filled my bag with a pulls and put A-pull Jack down. I asked if she would be willing to give me a-pulls in future if I gave her some-thing from trees. She said, "Well, when life gives you lemons, trade them for a-pulls." I asked what that meant and she said I might work. That means she would give me a-pulls if I helped her farm, never hurt any-pony on purpose, and worked hard. I said I was a hard working troll who gathered most food for village be-cause T is the tiniest troll and had to bring back the most food or T would not eat. I also said I did not know how to farm but she said it did not matter. I said I would be back but it might be a while be-cause I do not like the sun be-cause it hurt my eyes. She said there was always work and to show up the next time I wanted a-pulls. She also gave me a clear stone jar of rain-bow a-pull jam. She said her family takes rain-bow a-pulls and does stuff and then the a-pulls do not go bad. A-pull Jack also says they call the rain-bow a-pulls zap-a-pulls. I left very happy be-cause I had a bag full of mush-rooms, fish, and a-pulls. It was a lot of food for my village, not enough for whole village but I was sure other trolls would get food as well when birds stop chirping. I was right, and for second time the whole village punched T very hard and did not make fun of T for two whole days. This was the second time that I was very happy. Your faith-full troll- T, the tiniest troll. Post-script I will stop writing tonight be-cause I am tired after writing all day and Twilight is going to bed so I should go back to the barn. Good bye Prince S have a good sleep. Author's Note For those grammar Nazis out there, I plan on using normal English for the ponies and eventually T as he learns. Complain all you want but this is intentional as are a few confuddling plot points. For fellow authors here is a bit of advice. Save your work in at least 3 places. My backup for this chapter was corrupt so when I made a mistake and pasted chapter 4 over this chapter it got deleated. Fortunatly SkuzlBuTt had just translated T into Russian and had a copy. So remember kids, 3 places minimum. Chapter 2: Dear Twilight Sparkle.To my faithful student Twilight Sparkle, I am glad T, such a funny name even for a troll, is behaving himself. I must admit I am quite impressed that you taught him how to read and write. He does seem like a rather intelligent troll. While it is possible that T is more intelligent than your average troll as you both seem to think, not that being able to subsist on rocks requires intelligence; dragons being an exceptional exception, I doubt many of his kind would volunteer for experimental testing. It is possible that T is young, for a troll, and perhaps testing might fall beyond the purview of a consenting adult. Fortunately for you it seems you are getting him to explain a lot of troll culture, I would like to be kept appraised of your findings on a daily basis if at all possible. Very little is known about trolls other than what exists in folklore and some basic strategies towns can employ to repel them; so this will be a new learning experience for both of us. Which reminds me; try to keep T away from whistles and bright lights. I seem to have gone off on a tangent, something we both need to work on in letters, it is unbecoming of a princess. Going back to the previous topic, how did you teach him to write? I assume he had some previous knowledge as you have only known him for a week. Even I could not teach an intelligent pony such skills in a week. Still I would be very interested in your process. I would also like to take this moment to mention how proud of you I am, to have taken on a pupil of sorts. It will add a unique note of experience, not that you really need anything more on your resume. I know you will learn to appreciate the splendors of being a mentor, and I hope you will write to me concerning the lessons you learn. As you know I am very proud of both your accomplishments and your character and have high hopes for your future as a leader in Equestria, should you decide to take up the mantel. Historically, being a mentor is something many accomplished ponies did in addition to their careers. I hope you decide to continue mentoring future generations during your own pursuits, both because of your outstanding character but also because such practices have, sadly, begun to fall out of fashion. Dear me I seem to have prattled on again. We really need to stop corresponding in the middle of the night. Poor Spike does need his sleep and I can't help but feel a bit scandalous. Back on topic, please do be careful around T. He may be excessively gentle for a troll, but an excessively gentle predator is still a predator. I know you are more than capable enough to handle an enraged earth troll, but I fear that the average Ponyville citizen would be quite outmatched and as we both know, panicking ponies can cause perilous problems. Moreover I ask that either you, or one of the other elements of harmony, accompany Mr. T at any given time to discourage the provoking of such a potentially dangerous creature. Having read T's letter I have to say I am impressed at the cool Applejack exhibited during her short stint as a future snack. Be sure to extend my appreciation for the calm she displayed in such a situation. It is always a pleasure to hear from you my faithful student. With love, Princes Celestia P.S. Please take care of your head, it is very important for Equestria's national defense and I do not want to see my favorite student harmed in any way. Author's Note Some people have mentioned that they want to see T be the primary "author"... He will be. The next T chapter is #4. After that he will "write" Chapter 6 and be at least a co-author in almost every chapter afterwards. I have a lot of fun writing T, and I will continue with T as the primary voice. Chapter 3: I have a confession to make.Dear Princes Celestia, It's always nice to hear from you. This letter is a bit longer than my normal friendship reports, as it's more of a summary about T and troll culture/behavior and as such I will skip over the more personal events that ~~T and my friends~~ my friends, including T, have been subjected to in recent days. Teaching T has become a bit of a now infamous headache. Rarity has been generous in treating me to a spa trip complete with head massage, despite the fact that the spa ponies insist on giving me free messages anyway. It is a shame that Rarity does not seem to get along with T. He refuses to accept anything from her without giving something in return. His logic is that if he gives something in return then it won't be a trick. Rarity finds his behavior rude and somewhat offensive. She puts on a friendly face, but I think there are just some creatures that are not meant to be friends. They both seem to understand this and avoid each other, for the most part, and do act respectfully... in their own way. I'll admit it took me a long time to realize this, and Pinkie is still wrapping her head around the concept. It took a very awkward party but I think she has realized that just because two ~~ponies~~ acquaintances share a common friend, this does not mean that they get along well and mutual friends should be respect that dynamic At least T and Rarity behave around each other; there is no animosity so I won't try to fix something that's not broken. At least I learned my lesson with that embarrassing doll incident. Everyone else is getting along with T quite well. Fluttershy takes over for a few hours every week helping T integrate into pony culture. She was also able to learn a bit about some Everfree's creatures in the process. Rainbow Dash and AJ have been having a great time hitting T as hard as they can when they meet. This seems to make T very happy. I made sure that he knows not to hurt them in return and he seems to realize that he could do so easily. AJ has been working T hard, but he does not really want more than what he needs to eat that day. This has lead to a conundrum; AJ wants to give him a fair wage. T feels a day’s food is a fair wage. This has lead to several shouting matches but poor T is quite outmatched. This has lead to Rainbow Dash teasing AJ for being harder than a rock. I don't really get the joke but everypony else seems to enjoy it, so I laugh along. AJ and T started out with him doing a few odd jobs on occasion. But then Big Macintosh, AJ's brother, went and hurt himself again and T has been filling in. T only really needs food. Apparently 'village' of trolls is a clearing in the forest with a opening in the trees to see the stars and tell 'historic' stories. Some "lucky" trolls get caves. It really is just a gathering point. Then again trolls don't really need protection from the elements. T finds hay in AJ's barn extremely comfortable and would probably break any actual bed. I have made plans with T to have him tell me some historical stories which I will transcribe. Apparently trolls do not have any written language, so T has been learning very slowly. When he said he had been writing all day in his letter he meant all day. He started around noon after he had lunch with Spike and ended around nine thirty. Apparently trolls eat gems as well, but their taste buds are very different from dragons and let him taste magic. In fact T seems to think of magic in terms of flavor. The implications of which, trolls eating magic, might explain why unicorns cannot protect town by casting directly at the trolls. This worries me because that means trolls in general find magic tasty. I know you understand the implications of this being similar to a shark or lion developing a taste for ponies. Further research, to be presented in future letters, may provide insight into how to better create magical barrier spells or possible ways to change the taste of magic for trolls. Darn. I promised myself I wouldn't let this letter runaway with me again, sorry. As I was saying, I gave T an enchanted pen to write with. It keeps his writing both legible and correct, for the most part. I have no idea how he keeps hyphenating his words. The pen should stop that, and sometimes it doesn't happen. I wonder if my enchantments have trouble working properly with T because sometimes other mistakes are present as well. Anyway without the pen it would have been illegible. I have also been working on his Canternese. That, combined with him speaking while he writes, has caused some issues, as you may have noted. Rainbow has been having 'fun' showing T 'around.' She even took him to a Wonderbolt's show. It got them a lot of 'attention' to say the least. I hope she remembered to send you the letter about public misunderstandings in relation to bucking a full grown troll while in public. It caused a number of security guards to rush to her aid, not that aid was needed. Also, please note that trolls do not like to be levitated, but hitting them repeatedly can calm them down. This should be done out of view of the public as it causes even more misunderstandings. All 7 of us, and Spike, agreed we should forgo the public outings until we create a procedure manual, of sorts, to help plan for potential issues. As for my other friends; Pinkie has had a great time baking for T. He eats anything which means Pinkie is using him to test different recipes that even she thought needed work before she gave them to somepony. Rainbow spiced cupcakes being the most noteworthy. Don't worry, I'll make sure to send you some like normal. Additionally, when T consuming mass quantities of sugar he seems to excrete the excess in the form of a rock candy layer. Besides making T Pinkie's best baking buddy, this seems to have two added effects. 1) T can actually absorb the disaccharides at a later date, thus allowing him to storE energy despite a lack of fat. 2) It attracts other animals to T when he sits still. This is how Fluttershy's critters learned to like the big rock. Such a trait would allow him to capture animals, thus allowing him to balance out his diet, in the wild. It also makes him incredibly dirty and sticky. Another reason why Rarity takes offense, especially since even she can't manage to get it off other than licking, which is a very slow process even for Pinkie. I tried to get a sample for study but Pinkie had a different understanding for the word sample. Fluttershy gets along with T very well, which is kind of a surprise to me. When T first met her, he realized she was shy and turned away from her and sat down. This basically made him look like a rock, which only mildly intimidated Fluttershy. After a number of her insect friends came and began to feed off of T's sugar coating, Fluttershy was finally able to approach and meet him. He has helped her out with a new home for a few of her larger animals. The fact that T does not proactively do much when he's not working means he is not doing anything to scare her at all. He also has little social expectations and does not seem to be judgmental of anypony. This means that Fluttershy recovers from flustering social situations slightly faster with T when compared to the average pony. In summary my experience with T has been fascinating, if a bit painful. While I have only really learned a lesson or two concerning the magic of friendship, I have seen a few new perspectives and had a few of the lessons reinforced. I’ll cover more on that in a separate letter. I seem to have run out of parchment again. Your Faithful Student- Twilight Sparkle. P.S. Don't be surprised if future letters from the others spell Applejack's name A-pull Jack. Dash and Pinkie have been having a field day with that joke. Author's Note The next chapter is a T chapter! Chapter 4: More A-pullsDear T, Thank you for your wonder-full letter. I am glad you found friendship with my student and those close to her. I know you are work-king hard to make sure A-pull Jack is doing well at the farm, but it has been a few days since your letter and I am curious to hear the continuation of your story. As no troll, in my recollection, has ever integrated in-to pony society before, I would be honored if you could continue sharing some of your experiences with me. Please ask A-pull Jack if she could give you the day off so you may write me another letter. Have her compensate you with your daily food; I'll take care of what she is owed. Also please tell me what you think of Twilight and her friends; I am interested in a troll’s perspective. With much thanks, Prince S Celestia. Deer Prince S Okay. Your faith-full troll, T Hay-ya Prince S. Hope you enjoyed that prank. I think you liked it, I mean, I didn't get a Pinkie Sense for a silly prank gone horribly, horribly wrong and causing... frowns. I hate when that happens but at least it usually gives me the chance to bring out my super secret emergency gag stash that I keep all over Equestria. I mean, balls for ball emergencies... they really thought I was that crazy. I mean, I'm crazy, but even I can only keep one type of emergency supplies all across Equestria. I got to keep you entertained while you keep track of us. I mean, I assume that’s you. Luna can visit our dreams and who else would be watching us. I chose gag gifts because, well, when you need to stop a giant three headed dog from abandoning tartarus, use a ball. Friend feeling down, grab a pair of crazy eyes and a mustache. The Doctor loses his screwdriver, BAM! Grab a Sonicare, which is also what I use for tartarus emergencies. Gag gifts can be used in so many circumstances. Anyway, have a good day and remember to Smile Smile Smile! Like I do! -Pinkie Pie Deer Prince S, You must really be big boss pony to have A-pull Jack give me the day off. When I got back to village with A-pull Jack's a-pulls I was a very happy troll. I got many punches to make me big and strong. I also got to have the first bit of rain-bow zap-a-pull jam. I had to give the rest to elders but it was very good. Only troll who bring back rain-bow zap-a-pulls are allowed to eat them. I am now allowed to eat them. No-troll can remember such a small troll ever getting rain-bow fruit be-for. I did give some to water lizard on my way back to village. He was very happy and said it was so fab-you-lass that next time I cross I do not need to give him anything. The fish was not very good when I got back. We ate it but now we know not to eat fish that has been out a long time. It keeps us from having kid-knee stones. Some trolls were mad at T. But T had had three pieces as a reward for a good job done. Some other trolls had two but most had one. The mad trolls decided that the three pieces for such a small troll as T was punish-meant enough. This was weird because normally trolls are really mean and call troll sthat make other trolls sick mean names. Sometimes they even have to go away from the village for a long time before coming back. T never remembers this, but it was told to T never to make other troll sick so I do not have to wander around alone and get hurt. The larger trolls, and the trolls who had one piece, did not have bad problem like T so may-be that is why. But T was very happy. Even as I lay on the ground with hurt in my belly other trolls would come by and kick me for thanks and encourage-mint. They even let me lay on the ground in pain the next day, in-stead of making me go for food. We still had some a-pulls left since many troll did not eat them, as they were new food. They also said sometimes red food could be bad, like old fish but worse. I said if pony could eat them, then troll could eat them too. I got many funny looks. They asked how I knew pony ate them. I said I took them from pony. The old trolls were sad I did not bring back pony as they have a strong and you-knee-eek flavor. That word does not look right.~~Purple~~ Twilight said it is spelled unique. I am confused by this be-cause while T is a smart troll, T is still a small troll and pony is smarter. The day after I felt much better. Many trolls asked if I could bring back more a-pulls. I said I probably could since it was a cloudy day and I had to go where the sun was. With that I picked up my bag and left for the river. Water lizard let me cross, and I promised to bring back more a-pulls. When I was near the cottage I scared a butter colored pony with wings. I did not mean to I just did. She ran to her house and slammed the door after yelling for all the animals to run, be-cause T was a troll, and even the tiniest trolls are scary. As I continued to the path orange pony took me on I wondered why a pony with wings would not fly. It seemed silly to have wings and be unable to use them to fly away. Later I learned that winged butter pony is a pegasus named Flutter Shy, though she intro-deuced her name as “squeek-eek-ee-eek." I could not pronounce it. She can actually fly but when she gets scared she can-not. Later when we became friends, this made me sad. But at the time I did not care be-cause I am T, and T is a troll. I took some time to look a-round the path on the way to the place called a farm. It was very green and there were many flowers. Several animals scam-purred a-round. It made me very un-comfort-able. But if T brought back more a-pulls then T would become bigger stronger troll from so many punches. So I walked down the road to the farm. I knew when I was there be-cause the trees suddenly had a-pulls. But A-pull Jack had said they were not ripe. There were many trees. Many, many trees that made T think he had been tricked in-to being lost in what Twilight once called a maze. But I did not know what mazes were then be-cause I had not met Twilight. Eventually I found a big wooden house, though I did not know what houses were then. It looked very strange to me. Kind of like butter pony's home but with more sharp lines. It made me scared, like the poisonous blue flowers in the Ever Free. Some-thing about it was wrong. But I saw a small green pony that was made of wrinkles and smelled old. I wanted to approach her and ask is she knew A-pull Jack. I walked out of trees and she screamed, she screamed so loud, about trolls and walked to the house like she was a very old and very slow troll would walk, except on four legs. She was yelling about lights and whistles which made T nervous. I did not know what whistles were but I knew lights made me cranky and un-happy be-cause they gave me head-aches and my-grains. I asked for her to wait, and said I came to talk to A-pull Jack. She did not hear me and kept going very slowly, eventually making it in-to the house where a small, angrily colored yell-low small pony began yelling for her big mac and complaining very loudly and sharply about the thing they talked about scaring Gran-knee-Smith. Soon after a red, big for a pony, pony appeared and asked very strongly for me to wait away from the house. I did not know what he talked about but I wanted a-pulls so I stepped back from the large straight wooden place. I waited with my hand over my eyes to block the light that was there, even with clouds in the sky. I still do not know how you ponies stand the light. Soon the orange pony A-pull Jack appeared, and asked what I did to scare Gran-knee Smith. I said I tried to ask about you. Then she began yelling. A-pull Jack said that was what she thought. Then she asked if I would like to work for some a-pulls. I said yes please, and she led me off in-to the rows of trees. It occurs to me that rows of tree's are not normal. I just realized I should have been scared, but at least it was not so bright. Now that I think about it, T is scared of the orchard, which is a fancy word for forest, known to trolls as tree place. A-pull Jack said that she was taking a chance on me. I did not know what that meant back in then. She said that she had a few things that she either need-dead a unicorn or some-pony big and strong with hands. She had a few unicorn friends but decided to let me try first. She told me that a few of the trees over the years had died. Some were sick, some were damaged and did not live long. She also had trees that need-dead to be chopped up for fire-wood place be-cause they did not make many a-pulls. She wanted me to begin with the dead trees. By the time we were done talking, we had arrived at an obvious dead looking tree. She said she would be working near-by and to yell when I had dug it up so she could walk me to the place to put it. As she walked away I went over to the tree. I put my hands on either side of the trunk and squeezed. The tree began to crack. I did not squeeze hard, this told me the tree need-dead to be dug out. I got down on my knees and checked the ground. It was hard and flattened, but was also somewhat wet making it heavy, but a little bit loose. I think. Either way I took my fingers and carved a whole line in-to the ground. Twilight says it's called a trench. So I carved the trench in-to the ground a-round the tree. It took a long time be-cause I kept finding roots which I had to break. So I did, and kept digging. At some point I decided the trench was deep enough and began digging up dirt with-in the trench and tossing it into a pile next to the hole. Twilight just asked why I dug the trench then. I said so I knew how far I need-dead to go. I also stopped running into big roots that need-dead breaking. After I got a lot of dirt to the side I grabbed the base of the tree, just lower than the ground use to be, and pulled. The tree came up with many of the roots, but many were left behind. I thought that might make A-pull Jack angry but I was not sure and I had the tree. The roots I could work on later. A-pull Jack came by shortly after this and said I did a good job of digging out the tree. I even got enough of the roots so that she could plant a new one with-out Fuss. I did not know who Fuss was, or why she did not want him to help but I did not say anything. She had me carry the tree a fair ways away and put it in what she called a small can-yon . She said be-cause the tree was infected it need-dead to stay away from the other trees. Even if the tree had been cleaned so all the fungus on the out-side was dead. I then helped with two more young dead trees that had been killed and burned by lightning and fire. Then she had me do the same to a tree that died from damage rabbits did to the roots recently. This meant the tree was strong and safe enough for me to pull up after I broke only a few roots as the trunk was still strong. She had me put it be-side what she called a barn. To me it looked just like her house but bigger in-side and more natural. So I did not feel as nervous. She asked for me to break the branches off and put them in a pile. I did so, and she smiled. Apparently I did things right be-cause she decided I could be trusted to dig up the live trees. Hands were very useful, and mine worked better even than a shovel be-cause T is a troll and can use his hands like shovels any-way. Be-for we began work on the trees A-pull Jack said it was lunch time. This confused me. Why eat in the middle of the day when I could be working or playing. Trolls save time by eating at the end of the day when it is dark and there is nothing else to do. A-pull Jack seemed to appreciate what she called my hard working attitude. I know this be-cause she told me. She still did not want me to be a-round her family and scare them. She decided I could start working and she would just give me more food later. I said that would work. By the time A-pull Jack returned I had already pulled up the trees that were healthy but made no a-pulls. She wanted them with the tree hurt by rabbits. I pulled the branches off and she had me break the tree in-to smaller pieces. By the time we were done the sun was thank-fully beginning to set. A-pull Jack decided I had done enough work to fill my bag and also let me have a slice of a-pull pie. It was the best thing I have ever tasted. Even better than the zap a-pull rain-bow a-pull jam. It was dark be-for I even made it to the river, but the water lizard was still awake and let me cross. By the time I made it to the village all the other trolls had stopped. So I stopped knowing that we could all have a-pulls the next day be-cause they do not go bad like fish. Twilight is asking me what stopped is. I said it was when trolls stop moving, almost always at night, and it helps trolls become strong. Trolls who do not stop become mean, and have trouble moving. Twilight said it was like sleeping. She told me what sleeping was but trolls do not sleep. We stop. She is asking how it was different than sleeping. She is also asking that I write after we talk and said I am being dis-respect- Sorry prince S. I apologized to Twilight and explained that trolls do not sleep, we stop. It is different from sleeping be-cause we are a-wake. Twilight head hit the table at this. It make Spike laugh but then Twilight glared at him and he left be-for Twilight could put him in a line, or some-thing. I did not under-stand. Twilight asked how long trolls stopped. I said it depends how old the troll is and how strong they are. Apparently this makes sense to Twilight. As ponies get older they tend to sleep more if they are not in good health, but sleep less if they are in good health. This is the opposite of popular belief and stereo-types. I do not know what a stereo is by it sounds the opposite of troll stopping. Trolls stop loger if they are healthy. When she asked how long I stop a night I said I tend to stop for a-round four to six hours. But only be-cause all the other trolls are stopped. I only really wanted to stop for two to three. When she asked how long the oldest trolls stopped for and I answered she did not believe me. Apparently six months is a long time to not move for a pony. But I-con is very old. When asked how old I replied just older than the longest night. Twilight thinks I should explain what the longest night was. It was when it was night for what was normally four days and five nights. Trolls tell the tale of that glorious period, where the sun did not burn and the birds did not chirp. The moon was full the whole night, and trolls did not stop once. Even old trolls stopped stopping. In-stead they told their entire history, which was shorter then compared to now. Twilight is confused when I said the trolls did not stop. I had to explain stopping is a choice. It makes trolls calmer and more functional during the day hours. T was also told that if T stops stopping than T would die, which means he would never stop or go again. Twilight has asked a lot of questions. When spike came down to make break-fast he told Twilight to go to sleep. Spike also said I just summarize my answers so I can leave to help A-pull Jack today. Here are my answers. Troll do not need to stop. We choose to stop. It makes us calmer and keeps us from hurting each-other. We stop during the night when we can-not see. Our eyes are not good in the dark but the day can be very bright and pain-full. The bigger trolls, like I-con, could kill me with one care-less step. But he is so old that he only moves for one day and one night every six months. If he did not he would be very angry. I-con is about as big as Twilight's library. When he eats, he eats all the food we have saved and some-times more. But he does go in-to the forest and brings back big food. Some big food is basilisk, ogre, other non rock troll, and even a drag-on. He has only hunted three times that I know of. He brought back a basilisk, two manticore, and a griffin. One time he came back with nothing. There are other trolls that do not go any-more. They are about as big as I-con but have stopped forever. Occasionally one will move but they will never go again. Twilight was confused that they could move. I did not know what to say. When troll get to big, they stop forever. Spike asked if they are dead. They were not dead but they are no longer alive. It is these trolls that other trolls go and punch as hard as they can once a year. If a piece breaks off we bury it until it be-comes a new troll. I was the last troll to be-come. That was four cold weathers ago. Trolls that die can never break off. Also trolls do not have to eat very much and can go long times between eating. When I explained it Twilight said it was called a slow met-ab-oil-ism. We also use magic to move which caused Twilight to try and bring me to her basement for testing. For-tune-ate-ley (T thinks he spelled that wrong and will ask A-pull Jack when I go to work) T is a smart troll and would not fall for the same trick twice. Your faith-full troll, T, the tiniest troll.
Chapter 1: A-pulls Chapter 1: A-pulls Deer Prince S Celestia, Big Boss Pony, Twilight Sparkle told me to write to you now that I am her friend and have been so for a full five nights. I do not know you, so I will say hi, hi, and was told to bow so I bowed but you are not here so I do not know how you can see me. It must be poky pony magic. Rain-bow maned blue joke colored pony said you should have your sister read you this letter out loud, and wishes you both a happy April Foals Day. Twilight also said read this as if you were reading this out loud is the easiest way to read this because I am still learning how to write right. I am writing to you. I know I am not good at writing but purple poky pony told me it was okay be-cause I was new to writing. She also said I had a completely ill-logical learning curve but I should get better with time. I decided to write be-fore I got better at writing be-cause by the time I learned to write well, which might be always and never, I might forget what happened be-cause trolls are not as good at remembering as pony. Purple pokey pony offered to write for me but I said if I am writing to you, than I would have to be the one writing. Other-wise it would be purple pokey pony writing to you and she would have different things to say. Then she punched the desk with her head. She must really being trying to be-come biggest tough pony in trees be-cause she does that a lot. But she is only pony who lives in tree so I am confused. May-be she want your job as big tough pony in all the trees. He he he. I will now tell you about day I met first pony be-fore I forget. The day I met first pony was a sunny morning. The birds were chirping, giving me my-grain. The sun was shining brightly, stinging my eyes. A gloom-me day in-deed in the Ever Free where my village has lived for longer than zebra or donkey or even pony. But not as long as dragon or star bear, or bird. It was so gloomy that the other, bigger, meaner trolls all told me to go and find food be-cause they wanted to play big troll games. I was not a big troll so I listened to big troll and I went to find food while they stayed in cave. First I went to rain-bow trees. I knew they were rain-bow trees be-cause big trolls said they were rain-bow trees. But I had never seen rain-bows in rain-bow trees so I think big trolls play big trick on tiny T be-cause T is a tiny troll and easy to trick. With-out rain-bow fruit I went looking for mush-rooms. I found some and put them in my sack which I brought with me from village. It was not a very good sack but it was big be-cause I was small and had to bring back more food. Pink pony says that is weird but I say it is troll way. She said 'oh, okey dokie then'. When I get job I will get a better even bigger sack so I can help pony friends. But do not tell them be-cause I want it to be a word that begins with a 's' and ends with 'urprise'. I can not say the word be-cause pink demon pony some-times appears and yells it and then she would ask quest-shins. I would have to tell the truth be-cause I prom-missed I try and be big friend to pony-ville so I can stay and one of my friend-ships is honesty. Purple pokey sparkle pony says I should mention I speak while I write, so last sentence makes since. So with my sack I went to the river. One time when I was an even smaller troll I fell in and a big wave pushed many fish on-to the shore. My village was very happy at all the fish I caught. They even gave me extra punches and did not make fun of me for a whole day. It is very rare that that the whole village did not make fun of me. It was also rare for any troll to get extra punches from every village troll. I think giving every troll two fish was some-thing that was very special and it made me happy. But I have to be care-full when fishing be-cause troll are made like stone and can sink which makes breath-thing hard. So I would jump in the shape of a ball in shallow areas. But now I jump in where ever I want be-cause I made a deal with a fancy purple water lizard. I give him fruit and shiny rocks. He saves me. I still have to make sure he knows I am jumping though. Some-times I give him some of the fish if I can not find him any fruit. He normally eats fish so I feel bad that he does not get fair trade. But he says it is easy way to catch fish so he does not mind. After I caught fish I asked big purple serpent to put me on other side of river. He did and I was very nerve-us be-cause I had never been there be-fore and I do not know if there were other, non blue troll that would try and hurt T. But not even big troll know what is on other side of river, be-cause they can-not cross deep water. I walked for a long time, leaving a trail of notches in tree so I could find my way back. That is old troll village secret for traveling in tree so please do not tell any-troll. After two ten whole minutes I found the end of trees. Purple pony just asked what I meant by two ten whole minutes. I told her and she says I should tell you, so now I am. Troll count on fingers and toes. Trolls have three fingers on each hand and two toes on each foot. This means we count to ten if we are smart troll. I counted to ten twice be-cause T is smart for tiny troll. So after two ten whole minutes I found the end of trees. There was a very small mound made of wood next to small water with a ground over the top. There were many foods: rabbits, birds, squirrel, even pony. But pony was in mound of wood. Purple poky pony— Purple poky pony reminded T her name was Twilight. Rainbow blue pony says I should keep using purple poky pony but T will respect friend's wishes. Twilight says mound of wood was called a cot-age and was a type of house. Butter pony was in her cot-age but orange pony was leaving. I saw she was following a trail so I went ahead of trail and waited behind tree be-cause I am T the tiniest troll and can hide behind large trees. When pony walked by I grabbed her by the hind leg and held her up so she could not get away. She yelled and kicked T, but T is a troll and made of stone so T did not care. I had never seen pony be-fore and did not know pony could talk. I told pony I was sorry but I need-dead to bring back food for village or they would not punch me anymore and hurt my feeling. She calmed down at this which was good be-cause I did not want to hurt pony. I only wanted to eat her and it would make me sad if she suffered. I began to walk to the village holding pony in my hand. She did not struggle but soon we began to talk. She asked why I would not be punched if I did not bring back food, or why T wanted to be punched, may-be both. Any-way I said punching is how troll show respect. No food means no respect means no punches. The harder the punch and the more punches the more respect all trolls have for T. It also makes troll strong as stone. She asked what troll eat be-sides pony. I said we eat many food; any meat and mush-room, some-times fruit and berries. If we are lucky we even eat rain-bow fruit, but I had never been lucky. She then said she would trade some rain-bow fruit and a lot of normal fruit if I let her go. I was not sure. She seemed honest but so do big troll that trick T. Orange pony said her name was A-pull Jack. And she farmed a-pulls. I did not know what farmed was and I was curious. I thought may-be I could make a deal with pony like I made a deal with water lizard. I decided to give her a chance be-cause resistance was futile. We went farther down the trail and I saw many trees that looked like rain-bow trees. There were many other trees that had small round fruit that A-pull Jack said were not ripe. She told me to call out for her brother who would bring the a-pulls. I did not want to do this be-cause brother could bring more ponies which could may-be hurt T as T was a tiny troll and not a big troll. I had to be smart and said "No." She would have to tell me how to get to a-pulls. She did not want to tell me be-cause she said she did not want me to come back and take her a-pulls be-cause she and her family had to eat a-pulls to live. That seemed to make sense so I promised I would only trade for a-pulls or find some on my own. A-pull Jack told me that meant I could not take any a-pulls on the farm, even from the trees. I agreed if she showed me where her farm ended. A-pull Jack showed me many a-pulls. I tried a a-pull and found it was very good. The best sweat food I had ever had. So I filled my bag with a pulls and put A-pull Jack down. I asked if she would be willing to give me a-pulls in future if I gave her some-thing from trees. She said, "Well, when life gives you lemons, trade them for a-pulls." I asked what that meant and she said I might work. That means she would give me a-pulls if I helped her farm, never hurt any-pony on purpose, and worked hard. I said I was a hard working troll who gathered most food for village be-cause T is the tiniest troll and had to bring back the most food or T would not eat. I also said I did not know how to farm but she said it did not matter. I said I would be back but it might be a while be-cause I do not like the sun be-cause it hurt my eyes. She said there was always work and to show up the next time I wanted a-pulls. She also gave me a clear stone jar of rain-bow a-pull jam. She said her family takes rain-bow a-pulls and does stuff and then the a-pulls do not go bad. A-pull Jack also says they call the rain-bow a-pulls zap-a-pulls. I left very happy be-cause I had a bag full of mush-rooms, fish, and a-pulls. It was a lot of food for my village, not enough for whole village but I was sure other trolls would get food as well when birds stop chirping. I was right, and for second time the whole village punched T very hard and did not make fun of T for two whole days. This was the second time that I was very happy. Your faith-full troll- T, the tiniest troll. Post-script I will stop writing tonight be-cause I am tired after writing all day and Twilight is going to bed so I should go back to the barn. Good bye Prince S have a good sleep. Author's Note For those grammar Nazis out there, I plan on using normal English for the ponies and eventually T as he learns. Complain all you want but this is intentional as are a few confuddling plot points. For fellow authors here is a bit of advice. Save your work in at least 3 places. My backup for this chapter was corrupt so when I made a mistake and pasted chapter 4 over this chapter it got deleated. Fortunatly SkuzlBuTt had just translated T into Russian and had a copy. So remember kids, 3 places minimum.
Chapter 2: Dear Twilight Sparkle.To my faithful student Twilight Sparkle, I am glad T, such a funny name even for a troll, is behaving himself. I must admit I am quite impressed that you taught him how to read and write. He does seem like a rather intelligent troll. While it is possible that T is more intelligent than your average troll as you both seem to think, not that being able to subsist on rocks requires intelligence; dragons being an exceptional exception, I doubt many of his kind would volunteer for experimental testing. It is possible that T is young, for a troll, and perhaps testing might fall beyond the purview of a consenting adult. Fortunately for you it seems you are getting him to explain a lot of troll culture, I would like to be kept appraised of your findings on a daily basis if at all possible. Very little is known about trolls other than what exists in folklore and some basic strategies towns can employ to repel them; so this will be a new learning experience for both of us. Which reminds me; try to keep T away from whistles and bright lights. I seem to have gone off on a tangent, something we both need to work on in letters, it is unbecoming of a princess. Going back to the previous topic, how did you teach him to write? I assume he had some previous knowledge as you have only known him for a week. Even I could not teach an intelligent pony such skills in a week. Still I would be very interested in your process. I would also like to take this moment to mention how proud of you I am, to have taken on a pupil of sorts. It will add a unique note of experience, not that you really need anything more on your resume. I know you will learn to appreciate the splendors of being a mentor, and I hope you will write to me concerning the lessons you learn. As you know I am very proud of both your accomplishments and your character and have high hopes for your future as a leader in Equestria, should you decide to take up the mantel. Historically, being a mentor is something many accomplished ponies did in addition to their careers. I hope you decide to continue mentoring future generations during your own pursuits, both because of your outstanding character but also because such practices have, sadly, begun to fall out of fashion. Dear me I seem to have prattled on again. We really need to stop corresponding in the middle of the night. Poor Spike does need his sleep and I can't help but feel a bit scandalous. Back on topic, please do be careful around T. He may be excessively gentle for a troll, but an excessively gentle predator is still a predator. I know you are more than capable enough to handle an enraged earth troll, but I fear that the average Ponyville citizen would be quite outmatched and as we both know, panicking ponies can cause perilous problems. Moreover I ask that either you, or one of the other elements of harmony, accompany Mr. T at any given time to discourage the provoking of such a potentially dangerous creature. Having read T's letter I have to say I am impressed at the cool Applejack exhibited during her short stint as a future snack. Be sure to extend my appreciation for the calm she displayed in such a situation. It is always a pleasure to hear from you my faithful student. With love, Princes Celestia P.S. Please take care of your head, it is very important for Equestria's national defense and I do not want to see my favorite student harmed in any way. Author's Note Some people have mentioned that they want to see T be the primary "author"... He will be. The next T chapter is #4. After that he will "write" Chapter 6 and be at least a co-author in almost every chapter afterwards. I have a lot of fun writing T, and I will continue with T as the primary voice.
Chapter 3: I have a confession to make.Dear Princes Celestia, It's always nice to hear from you. This letter is a bit longer than my normal friendship reports, as it's more of a summary about T and troll culture/behavior and as such I will skip over the more personal events that ~~T and my friends~~ my friends, including T, have been subjected to in recent days. Teaching T has become a bit of a now infamous headache. Rarity has been generous in treating me to a spa trip complete with head massage, despite the fact that the spa ponies insist on giving me free messages anyway. It is a shame that Rarity does not seem to get along with T. He refuses to accept anything from her without giving something in return. His logic is that if he gives something in return then it won't be a trick. Rarity finds his behavior rude and somewhat offensive. She puts on a friendly face, but I think there are just some creatures that are not meant to be friends. They both seem to understand this and avoid each other, for the most part, and do act respectfully... in their own way. I'll admit it took me a long time to realize this, and Pinkie is still wrapping her head around the concept. It took a very awkward party but I think she has realized that just because two ~~ponies~~ acquaintances share a common friend, this does not mean that they get along well and mutual friends should be respect that dynamic At least T and Rarity behave around each other; there is no animosity so I won't try to fix something that's not broken. At least I learned my lesson with that embarrassing doll incident. Everyone else is getting along with T quite well. Fluttershy takes over for a few hours every week helping T integrate into pony culture. She was also able to learn a bit about some Everfree's creatures in the process. Rainbow Dash and AJ have been having a great time hitting T as hard as they can when they meet. This seems to make T very happy. I made sure that he knows not to hurt them in return and he seems to realize that he could do so easily. AJ has been working T hard, but he does not really want more than what he needs to eat that day. This has lead to a conundrum; AJ wants to give him a fair wage. T feels a day’s food is a fair wage. This has lead to several shouting matches but poor T is quite outmatched. This has lead to Rainbow Dash teasing AJ for being harder than a rock. I don't really get the joke but everypony else seems to enjoy it, so I laugh along. AJ and T started out with him doing a few odd jobs on occasion. But then Big Macintosh, AJ's brother, went and hurt himself again and T has been filling in. T only really needs food. Apparently 'village' of trolls is a clearing in the forest with a opening in the trees to see the stars and tell 'historic' stories. Some "lucky" trolls get caves. It really is just a gathering point. Then again trolls don't really need protection from the elements. T finds hay in AJ's barn extremely comfortable and would probably break any actual bed. I have made plans with T to have him tell me some historical stories which I will transcribe. Apparently trolls do not have any written language, so T has been learning very slowly. When he said he had been writing all day in his letter he meant all day. He started around noon after he had lunch with Spike and ended around nine thirty. Apparently trolls eat gems as well, but their taste buds are very different from dragons and let him taste magic. In fact T seems to think of magic in terms of flavor. The implications of which, trolls eating magic, might explain why unicorns cannot protect town by casting directly at the trolls. This worries me because that means trolls in general find magic tasty. I know you understand the implications of this being similar to a shark or lion developing a taste for ponies. Further research, to be presented in future letters, may provide insight into how to better create magical barrier spells or possible ways to change the taste of magic for trolls. Darn. I promised myself I wouldn't let this letter runaway with me again, sorry. As I was saying, I gave T an enchanted pen to write with. It keeps his writing both legible and correct, for the most part. I have no idea how he keeps hyphenating his words. The pen should stop that, and sometimes it doesn't happen. I wonder if my enchantments have trouble working properly with T because sometimes other mistakes are present as well. Anyway without the pen it would have been illegible. I have also been working on his Canternese. That, combined with him speaking while he writes, has caused some issues, as you may have noted. Rainbow has been having 'fun' showing T 'around.' She even took him to a Wonderbolt's show. It got them a lot of 'attention' to say the least. I hope she remembered to send you the letter about public misunderstandings in relation to bucking a full grown troll while in public. It caused a number of security guards to rush to her aid, not that aid was needed. Also, please note that trolls do not like to be levitated, but hitting them repeatedly can calm them down. This should be done out of view of the public as it causes even more misunderstandings. All 7 of us, and Spike, agreed we should forgo the public outings until we create a procedure manual, of sorts, to help plan for potential issues. As for my other friends; Pinkie has had a great time baking for T. He eats anything which means Pinkie is using him to test different recipes that even she thought needed work before she gave them to somepony. Rainbow spiced cupcakes being the most noteworthy. Don't worry, I'll make sure to send you some like normal. Additionally, when T consuming mass quantities of sugar he seems to excrete the excess in the form of a rock candy layer. Besides making T Pinkie's best baking buddy, this seems to have two added effects. 1) T can actually absorb the disaccharides at a later date, thus allowing him to storE energy despite a lack of fat. 2) It attracts other animals to T when he sits still. This is how Fluttershy's critters learned to like the big rock. Such a trait would allow him to capture animals, thus allowing him to balance out his diet, in the wild. It also makes him incredibly dirty and sticky. Another reason why Rarity takes offense, especially since even she can't manage to get it off other than licking, which is a very slow process even for Pinkie. I tried to get a sample for study but Pinkie had a different understanding for the word sample. Fluttershy gets along with T very well, which is kind of a surprise to me. When T first met her, he realized she was shy and turned away from her and sat down. This basically made him look like a rock, which only mildly intimidated Fluttershy. After a number of her insect friends came and began to feed off of T's sugar coating, Fluttershy was finally able to approach and meet him. He has helped her out with a new home for a few of her larger animals. The fact that T does not proactively do much when he's not working means he is not doing anything to scare her at all. He also has little social expectations and does not seem to be judgmental of anypony. This means that Fluttershy recovers from flustering social situations slightly faster with T when compared to the average pony. In summary my experience with T has been fascinating, if a bit painful. While I have only really learned a lesson or two concerning the magic of friendship, I have seen a few new perspectives and had a few of the lessons reinforced. I’ll cover more on that in a separate letter. I seem to have run out of parchment again. Your Faithful Student- Twilight Sparkle. P.S. Don't be surprised if future letters from the others spell Applejack's name A-pull Jack. Dash and Pinkie have been having a field day with that joke. Author's Note The next chapter is a T chapter!
Chapter 4: More A-pullsDear T, Thank you for your wonder-full letter. I am glad you found friendship with my student and those close to her. I know you are work-king hard to make sure A-pull Jack is doing well at the farm, but it has been a few days since your letter and I am curious to hear the continuation of your story. As no troll, in my recollection, has ever integrated in-to pony society before, I would be honored if you could continue sharing some of your experiences with me. Please ask A-pull Jack if she could give you the day off so you may write me another letter. Have her compensate you with your daily food; I'll take care of what she is owed. Also please tell me what you think of Twilight and her friends; I am interested in a troll’s perspective. With much thanks, Prince S Celestia. Deer Prince S Okay. Your faith-full troll, T Hay-ya Prince S. Hope you enjoyed that prank. I think you liked it, I mean, I didn't get a Pinkie Sense for a silly prank gone horribly, horribly wrong and causing... frowns. I hate when that happens but at least it usually gives me the chance to bring out my super secret emergency gag stash that I keep all over Equestria. I mean, balls for ball emergencies... they really thought I was that crazy. I mean, I'm crazy, but even I can only keep one type of emergency supplies all across Equestria. I got to keep you entertained while you keep track of us. I mean, I assume that’s you. Luna can visit our dreams and who else would be watching us. I chose gag gifts because, well, when you need to stop a giant three headed dog from abandoning tartarus, use a ball. Friend feeling down, grab a pair of crazy eyes and a mustache. The Doctor loses his screwdriver, BAM! Grab a Sonicare, which is also what I use for tartarus emergencies. Gag gifts can be used in so many circumstances. Anyway, have a good day and remember to Smile Smile Smile! Like I do! -Pinkie Pie Deer Prince S, You must really be big boss pony to have A-pull Jack give me the day off. When I got back to village with A-pull Jack's a-pulls I was a very happy troll. I got many punches to make me big and strong. I also got to have the first bit of rain-bow zap-a-pull jam. I had to give the rest to elders but it was very good. Only troll who bring back rain-bow zap-a-pulls are allowed to eat them. I am now allowed to eat them. No-troll can remember such a small troll ever getting rain-bow fruit be-for. I did give some to water lizard on my way back to village. He was very happy and said it was so fab-you-lass that next time I cross I do not need to give him anything. The fish was not very good when I got back. We ate it but now we know not to eat fish that has been out a long time. It keeps us from having kid-knee stones. Some trolls were mad at T. But T had had three pieces as a reward for a good job done. Some other trolls had two but most had one. The mad trolls decided that the three pieces for such a small troll as T was punish-meant enough. This was weird because normally trolls are really mean and call troll sthat make other trolls sick mean names. Sometimes they even have to go away from the village for a long time before coming back. T never remembers this, but it was told to T never to make other troll sick so I do not have to wander around alone and get hurt. The larger trolls, and the trolls who had one piece, did not have bad problem like T so may-be that is why. But T was very happy. Even as I lay on the ground with hurt in my belly other trolls would come by and kick me for thanks and encourage-mint. They even let me lay on the ground in pain the next day, in-stead of making me go for food. We still had some a-pulls left since many troll did not eat them, as they were new food. They also said sometimes red food could be bad, like old fish but worse. I said if pony could eat them, then troll could eat them too. I got many funny looks. They asked how I knew pony ate them. I said I took them from pony. The old trolls were sad I did not bring back pony as they have a strong and you-knee-eek flavor. That word does not look right.~~Purple~~ Twilight said it is spelled unique. I am confused by this be-cause while T is a smart troll, T is still a small troll and pony is smarter. The day after I felt much better. Many trolls asked if I could bring back more a-pulls. I said I probably could since it was a cloudy day and I had to go where the sun was. With that I picked up my bag and left for the river. Water lizard let me cross, and I promised to bring back more a-pulls. When I was near the cottage I scared a butter colored pony with wings. I did not mean to I just did. She ran to her house and slammed the door after yelling for all the animals to run, be-cause T was a troll, and even the tiniest trolls are scary. As I continued to the path orange pony took me on I wondered why a pony with wings would not fly. It seemed silly to have wings and be unable to use them to fly away. Later I learned that winged butter pony is a pegasus named Flutter Shy, though she intro-deuced her name as “squeek-eek-ee-eek." I could not pronounce it. She can actually fly but when she gets scared she can-not. Later when we became friends, this made me sad. But at the time I did not care be-cause I am T, and T is a troll. I took some time to look a-round the path on the way to the place called a farm. It was very green and there were many flowers. Several animals scam-purred a-round. It made me very un-comfort-able. But if T brought back more a-pulls then T would become bigger stronger troll from so many punches. So I walked down the road to the farm. I knew when I was there be-cause the trees suddenly had a-pulls. But A-pull Jack had said they were not ripe. There were many trees. Many, many trees that made T think he had been tricked in-to being lost in what Twilight once called a maze. But I did not know what mazes were then be-cause I had not met Twilight. Eventually I found a big wooden house, though I did not know what houses were then. It looked very strange to me. Kind of like butter pony's home but with more sharp lines. It made me scared, like the poisonous blue flowers in the Ever Free. Some-thing about it was wrong. But I saw a small green pony that was made of wrinkles and smelled old. I wanted to approach her and ask is she knew A-pull Jack. I walked out of trees and she screamed, she screamed so loud, about trolls and walked to the house like she was a very old and very slow troll would walk, except on four legs. She was yelling about lights and whistles which made T nervous. I did not know what whistles were but I knew lights made me cranky and un-happy be-cause they gave me head-aches and my-grains. I asked for her to wait, and said I came to talk to A-pull Jack. She did not hear me and kept going very slowly, eventually making it in-to the house where a small, angrily colored yell-low small pony began yelling for her big mac and complaining very loudly and sharply about the thing they talked about scaring Gran-knee-Smith. Soon after a red, big for a pony, pony appeared and asked very strongly for me to wait away from the house. I did not know what he talked about but I wanted a-pulls so I stepped back from the large straight wooden place. I waited with my hand over my eyes to block the light that was there, even with clouds in the sky. I still do not know how you ponies stand the light. Soon the orange pony A-pull Jack appeared, and asked what I did to scare Gran-knee Smith. I said I tried to ask about you. Then she began yelling. A-pull Jack said that was what she thought. Then she asked if I would like to work for some a-pulls. I said yes please, and she led me off in-to the rows of trees. It occurs to me that rows of tree's are not normal. I just realized I should have been scared, but at least it was not so bright. Now that I think about it, T is scared of the orchard, which is a fancy word for forest, known to trolls as tree place. A-pull Jack said that she was taking a chance on me. I did not know what that meant back in then. She said that she had a few things that she either need-dead a unicorn or some-pony big and strong with hands. She had a few unicorn friends but decided to let me try first. She told me that a few of the trees over the years had died. Some were sick, some were damaged and did not live long. She also had trees that need-dead to be chopped up for fire-wood place be-cause they did not make many a-pulls. She wanted me to begin with the dead trees. By the time we were done talking, we had arrived at an obvious dead looking tree. She said she would be working near-by and to yell when I had dug it up so she could walk me to the place to put it. As she walked away I went over to the tree. I put my hands on either side of the trunk and squeezed. The tree began to crack. I did not squeeze hard, this told me the tree need-dead to be dug out. I got down on my knees and checked the ground. It was hard and flattened, but was also somewhat wet making it heavy, but a little bit loose. I think. Either way I took my fingers and carved a whole line in-to the ground. Twilight says it's called a trench. So I carved the trench in-to the ground a-round the tree. It took a long time be-cause I kept finding roots which I had to break. So I did, and kept digging. At some point I decided the trench was deep enough and began digging up dirt with-in the trench and tossing it into a pile next to the hole. Twilight just asked why I dug the trench then. I said so I knew how far I need-dead to go. I also stopped running into big roots that need-dead breaking. After I got a lot of dirt to the side I grabbed the base of the tree, just lower than the ground use to be, and pulled. The tree came up with many of the roots, but many were left behind. I thought that might make A-pull Jack angry but I was not sure and I had the tree. The roots I could work on later. A-pull Jack came by shortly after this and said I did a good job of digging out the tree. I even got enough of the roots so that she could plant a new one with-out Fuss. I did not know who Fuss was, or why she did not want him to help but I did not say anything. She had me carry the tree a fair ways away and put it in what she called a small can-yon . She said be-cause the tree was infected it need-dead to stay away from the other trees. Even if the tree had been cleaned so all the fungus on the out-side was dead. I then helped with two more young dead trees that had been killed and burned by lightning and fire. Then she had me do the same to a tree that died from damage rabbits did to the roots recently. This meant the tree was strong and safe enough for me to pull up after I broke only a few roots as the trunk was still strong. She had me put it be-side what she called a barn. To me it looked just like her house but bigger in-side and more natural. So I did not feel as nervous. She asked for me to break the branches off and put them in a pile. I did so, and she smiled. Apparently I did things right be-cause she decided I could be trusted to dig up the live trees. Hands were very useful, and mine worked better even than a shovel be-cause T is a troll and can use his hands like shovels any-way. Be-for we began work on the trees A-pull Jack said it was lunch time. This confused me. Why eat in the middle of the day when I could be working or playing. Trolls save time by eating at the end of the day when it is dark and there is nothing else to do. A-pull Jack seemed to appreciate what she called my hard working attitude. I know this be-cause she told me. She still did not want me to be a-round her family and scare them. She decided I could start working and she would just give me more food later. I said that would work. By the time A-pull Jack returned I had already pulled up the trees that were healthy but made no a-pulls. She wanted them with the tree hurt by rabbits. I pulled the branches off and she had me break the tree in-to smaller pieces. By the time we were done the sun was thank-fully beginning to set. A-pull Jack decided I had done enough work to fill my bag and also let me have a slice of a-pull pie. It was the best thing I have ever tasted. Even better than the zap a-pull rain-bow a-pull jam. It was dark be-for I even made it to the river, but the water lizard was still awake and let me cross. By the time I made it to the village all the other trolls had stopped. So I stopped knowing that we could all have a-pulls the next day be-cause they do not go bad like fish. Twilight is asking me what stopped is. I said it was when trolls stop moving, almost always at night, and it helps trolls become strong. Trolls who do not stop become mean, and have trouble moving. Twilight said it was like sleeping. She told me what sleeping was but trolls do not sleep. We stop. She is asking how it was different than sleeping. She is also asking that I write after we talk and said I am being dis-respect- Sorry prince S. I apologized to Twilight and explained that trolls do not sleep, we stop. It is different from sleeping be-cause we are a-wake. Twilight head hit the table at this. It make Spike laugh but then Twilight glared at him and he left be-for Twilight could put him in a line, or some-thing. I did not under-stand. Twilight asked how long trolls stopped. I said it depends how old the troll is and how strong they are. Apparently this makes sense to Twilight. As ponies get older they tend to sleep more if they are not in good health, but sleep less if they are in good health. This is the opposite of popular belief and stereo-types. I do not know what a stereo is by it sounds the opposite of troll stopping. Trolls stop loger if they are healthy. When she asked how long I stop a night I said I tend to stop for a-round four to six hours. But only be-cause all the other trolls are stopped. I only really wanted to stop for two to three. When she asked how long the oldest trolls stopped for and I answered she did not believe me. Apparently six months is a long time to not move for a pony. But I-con is very old. When asked how old I replied just older than the longest night. Twilight thinks I should explain what the longest night was. It was when it was night for what was normally four days and five nights. Trolls tell the tale of that glorious period, where the sun did not burn and the birds did not chirp. The moon was full the whole night, and trolls did not stop once. Even old trolls stopped stopping. In-stead they told their entire history, which was shorter then compared to now. Twilight is confused when I said the trolls did not stop. I had to explain stopping is a choice. It makes trolls calmer and more functional during the day hours. T was also told that if T stops stopping than T would die, which means he would never stop or go again. Twilight has asked a lot of questions. When spike came down to make break-fast he told Twilight to go to sleep. Spike also said I just summarize my answers so I can leave to help A-pull Jack today. Here are my answers. Troll do not need to stop. We choose to stop. It makes us calmer and keeps us from hurting each-other. We stop during the night when we can-not see. Our eyes are not good in the dark but the day can be very bright and pain-full. The bigger trolls, like I-con, could kill me with one care-less step. But he is so old that he only moves for one day and one night every six months. If he did not he would be very angry. I-con is about as big as Twilight's library. When he eats, he eats all the food we have saved and some-times more. But he does go in-to the forest and brings back big food. Some big food is basilisk, ogre, other non rock troll, and even a drag-on. He has only hunted three times that I know of. He brought back a basilisk, two manticore, and a griffin. One time he came back with nothing. There are other trolls that do not go any-more. They are about as big as I-con but have stopped forever. Occasionally one will move but they will never go again. Twilight was confused that they could move. I did not know what to say. When troll get to big, they stop forever. Spike asked if they are dead. They were not dead but they are no longer alive. It is these trolls that other trolls go and punch as hard as they can once a year. If a piece breaks off we bury it until it be-comes a new troll. I was the last troll to be-come. That was four cold weathers ago. Trolls that die can never break off. Also trolls do not have to eat very much and can go long times between eating. When I explained it Twilight said it was called a slow met-ab-oil-ism. We also use magic to move which caused Twilight to try and bring me to her basement for testing. For-tune-ate-ley (T thinks he spelled that wrong and will ask A-pull Jack when I go to work) T is a smart troll and would not fall for the same trick twice. Your faith-full troll, T, the tiniest troll.
