“Hi!” Pinkie Pie called out, noticing the two as soon as they walked in the door. “I’m Pinkie Pie, but you already knew that of course and why can I hear music?” Pinkie looked around, before looking at an inconspicuous bit of wall. “Oh, the author’s just listening to something. Okay!”

Twilight turned to tell Kara to just not question Pinkie Pie, only to find her staring at the same bit of wall. “Yeah, I can hear it too.”

Twilight stared, her brain unsure if it could handle two Pinkie Pies. “Oh, don’t worry Twilight. It’ll get a lot worse in the sequel.” Pinkie reassuringly told her, before turning to Kara. “Can you break the Fourth Wall too?”

“Nah, I’m just insane. Anyway!” Kara walked over to the counter, leaving Twilight to re-establish contact with reality. “What’cha got?”

“Well, we have blueberry muffins, Cupcakes, raspberry muffins, strawberry muffins, Rainbow cupcakes, Rockets of Insanity, and lots and lots of cakes!” Pinkie exclaimed, pointing to each in turn, gesturing to the back room door for the cakes.

“I’ll take five of each.” Kara stated, earning her a gasping cough from her armor. “F-five?? Of each?? You’re going to kill yourself!”

“Since when has that stopped me?” Michael had no answer to this, instead letting out an exasperated, robotic sigh.

By now, Twilight had recovered from the earlier mini-breakdown, walking over to the two. She didn’t ask for anything, instead dragging Kara over to a table. The only other pony in the building aside from Pinkie Pie was a grumpy-looking blue pegasus with a white mane. He looked at them as they sat, before returning to his muffin. Pinkie soon returned from the kitchen, despite them never seeing her enter it in the first place, placing a large plate in front of Kara. “I wasn’t able to get five of everything, so I just made one of everything!” She disappeared again, as Kara dug into the massive mound of food.

Kara soon finished, somehow, and Pinkie came back. “So, now that you’ve had some food, what would…” She trailed off as she stared at the blue pegasus. As the others twisted around to look at him, he held up a previously unseen necklace, and vanished in a burst of black light.

“…What?” Twilight asked.

“Huh. That wasn’t supposed to happen.” Pinkie muttered to herself. “Ah well. Probably a script change I didn’t know about. Anyway, as I was saying, how’d you like to learn to cook?” She asked Kara excitedly.

“Huh. Sure, can’t be much harder to cook sweets than it is to cook something I found out in the Wasteland.”

A short while afterwards

Kara, Pinkie, and Twilight stared at the still-smoking Sugarcube Corner. Luckily, Twilight had been fast enough to douse the fire before it could spread to other houses, but most of the bakery was gone. Pinkie had one remark about this.

“The Cakes are gonna kill me when they get back from vacation…”

“Ah well.” Kara replied. “You’ve got that to look forward to. What should we do now? Blow something else up?” Twilight was quick to derail that plan.

“No! We are not destroying anything else! …Pinkie, maybe you could go show Kara things? I need to finish fixing this…”

“Sure thing, Moira. Welp, Pinkie, what first?” Pinkie pulled herself out of her mutterings, bouncing up into the air.

“Well, you’re gonna see all the other places in the next few chapters, but I can show you some stuff I can do, and you could show me? I dunno why, I think the author just ran out of ideas and’s doing this to extend the chapter length.”

“Sure, why not.”

And so the two went on a great journey, braving great dangers, fighting monstrous demons, and blowing many a thing up… To end up about 50 metres from where they started. “So! Most of what I can do can’t be displayed in a text format, or the author’s too lazy to try, so how about we start with you, Kara?”

“Sure.” Kara pulled all her weapons out of hammerspace, dropping them in a big pile.

“Well, this is the Firelance. Nifty little thing.” She fired the energy pistol, lighting a nearby tree ablaze. “The Slo-Burn and Rapid-Torch Flamers,” Two new scorch marks upon the grass. “Heavy Incinerator,” Another, larger patch of soot. “The Tesla Cannon,” The tree from earlier was blasted in two. “The Sniper Rifle,” The stump of the tree got a hole in it. “The Gauss Rifle,” The stump exploded. “And the Shishkebab, but you already know what that can do.”

“I do?” Pinkie scratched her head. ”Oh wait, I do! You used it back in A Warm Welcome! Well, I think you should head to the Carousel Boutique.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Because Fireheart ran out of time and ideas for this chapter and just wants to get to the next one!” Pinkie told her, gently pushing her towards the building.

“Well, all right, if you insist…” Kara started towards the building, her weapons having vanished into the ether again. Pinkie watched her, muttering to herself and to the readers; “Plus I need to plan your Welcome to Ponyville party…”

Author's Note

Yeah, I was kinda rushed when writing this one. I decided to blow up Sugarcube Corner, then realized I didn't have any ideas beyond that. Rarity's probably won't be much better, I'm afraid. However, I'll try to pick up in Appul Horse and Butter Horse's chapters.