Jumbled Thoughts Are Magic

by Michael Hudson

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Human, Anthro, Main 6, Original Character, Comedy, Equestria Girls, Sex
Length: 2697

Even Celestia decides she wants a piece of this saint's ass, even if he comes with three hot little devils too.

After a godly wager gone wrong with the God and Satan of another universe, Celestia gets ahold of a special man named Dave. A simple, sixty year old construction worker, but he's not alone. He's bringing the busty, but good hearted, demoness Sarah, the wild lab experiment Kell, and the regular asshole Asa.

Why? Because every now and then, you need to shake up the status quo to keep your favorite shows interesting.

A crossover between Jumbled Thoughts and an athropomorphic version of My Little Pony. You can find the source material here, and it updates three times a week: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and is much like this story, though perhaps a little more grounded.

Also, thank you Tatsurou for helping inspire this! In fact, like his comments that inspired this, please feel free to leave comments below for what you'd like to see happen with this mingling of worlds!

Published 2018-02-01 01:10:06 UTC
Last updated 2018-02-18 02:43:22 UTC

Aquisitions

Celestia could almost taste the tension in the room, and it was delicious to her, almost as much as Whis and Beerus’s pudding was to them. It was pretty normal at this point of poker night, sure, but this was different. This was targeted more directly between the heavenly beings. Or, more specifically, between ‘God’ and ‘Satan’.

They had obviously been brewing over something, having brought the baggage from their universe with them as they kept trying to make sure the other never outbid them, an early discovery that had allowed Celestia to pick apart their stashes of godly points for a while now.

Now it was time to push the matter. She cooly pushed her whole pile into the middle, staring cooly at both God and Satan, the only two left in the game. For them to match her, they would need almost ten times the meager piles they had, but they both glanced at the other as thoughts of what could be gotten if they won.

Whis, a blue, angelic figure, though in oddly Egyptian robes, saw this move and smiled. His master Beerus was too preoccupied with Equestrian sweets to have told any of what was going on, but he could see what Celestia was trying. Like her though, he knew the explosion that was to come would be oh so very sweet. Much like the cake he enjoyed!

And so both God and Satan both yelled, “All in,” before pushing forward their piles. Celestia could tell immediately though that Satan could see his mistake the second after he said it. That he was finally waking up, which was so very nice to see after how many times he had managed to win this weekly war of the gods. “Wait-”

“Straight Flush.”

Both God and Satan stared at her, their mouths agape as she picked up her teacup, taking a slow drink from it as she stared cooly at them. Her cards were already on the table, and that was enough for the large, old man in white to throw his chair back, throwing up his arms as he stepped away, while Satan, a younger, devilishly handsome man in a fine italian suit, merely put his head in his hands.

He was also the one to then stare daggers at Celestia as he hissed out, “Alright, you win. What do you want?”

Celestia swirled her spoon in her tea, adding a little bit of sugar to the too bitter mix, smiling a little to herself as she cooly replied, “I would first like to know what you two have been fighting about. It’s never fun to play with a couple in the middle of a spat.”

“We are not a couple, and this whole blasted thing with Dave-”

“Stop!”

Satan winced, having stood up a second too late, and even Whis raised an eyebrow at the statement. “We all know you’re gay for each other, but to think that a third man could split you apart is quite surprising, especially one with such a plain name.”

Celestia giggled at the comment, before poking her own in with, “Yes, I would have thought something like Richard or Charles would be more fitting.”

God at this point fumed at the words, thunder crackling between his hands, though one glance from Beerus made him calm down a little. After all, he was the only one proficient in universal destruction. However, he could not allow his pride to be attacked like this! “We. Are. Not. Gay. You should see the angels that I court. They’re much better than the hellfiends you’ve sent for such a saint.”

Satan buried his face into the table, groaning as he shook his head. “Shut up, old man, before you regret it.”

“Regret it? Like I’ll make you regret sending that nymph of a granddaughter after my next herald! And yet you still insist that you do nothing wrong while you try to plan against his soul!”

And that was when Celestia had decided that she’d listened to enough. “A saint you say? One you both desire? Well, Since you both owe me then, I believe there is a simple way for you to repay me.”

God’s jaw dropped while Satan stood up, shouting, “I fucking knew it,” before turning back to Celestia, hate in his eyes. “You destroy more than just one plan of mine though with his removal, so shall you agree to take his baggage?”

Celestia raised an eyebrow. Baggage? For a saint? Weren’t they supposed to be without problems? That was the impression she’d gotten thousands of years ago whenever God talked about his original saints. “Um, what are you talking about?”

Whis chimed in on this, handing one of his cupcakes to the purple cat next to him, Beerus, to keep him out of the discussion. “Well, with a quick glance into their universe, I see what looks like a demoness, some sort of alien-”

Satan groaned as he corrected with, “Lab experiment.”

“-And a normal human. Oh, from her online chat logs though she seems like quite the mean girl.”

Celestia smiled at the observation. Honestly, she had found that things had been… stagnating recently in Equestria anyways, and this presented itself quite the opportunity to shake things up for her favorite soap opera. “Well then, those are my terms. I get this Dave fellow, and those three girls. And no, I won’t take any other offer for how in debt you two managed to get into.”

Satan just groaned before God threw up his hands. “Fine! He’s already given me over forty years of good work, so if this keeps him away from this fiend, then go ahead!”

Celestia nodded, before the board they played on converted the debt into power, and the power into a spell.

And over night, while the residents were sleeping, a quaint, two story house at the edge of one large town teleported itself to the edge of a different, smaller town.

And immediately Celestia got to smile as Fluttershy’s animals tried trampling her to let her know about the new neighbor.

Author's Note

Yeah, this is something I have wanted to do with almost all of my original works, as I still love these characters and such, and admittedly it's good promotion. Nonetheless, congrats to anyone who remembers the last time I did this sort of godly poker game.

Hello

Fluttershy swallowed hard as she stepped out of her little cottage. The new house wasn’t too close to hers, but… Where had it come from? All she knew was that she’d been stampeded in her bed by six dozen different friends of hers trying to tell them about it. About the new house on the edge of the Everfree.

Did it belong to a new pony that moved from the Everfree? But then how was it built so fast? Did she somehow not notice it before? No, she was too nervous, and had too many animals to take care of outside for her not to notice.

No, this was new, and her friends wanted an answer to what it was. She considered getting Rainbow Dash, or AJ, or even Rarity to help her out, but she didn’t want to wake them up. Not at this time of night. No, she would do it. She would manage to say hi to her new neighbor hers-

“Hi!”

“AH!” Fluttershy raced back for her cottage, running at full speed back, but she could feel how slow she was compared to whatever had appeared. Could watch as a blur passed by her, and then slammed a clawed hand onto her front door, slamming it shut.

The creature’s twin colored eyes, one purple, one blue, turned to her as she saw fangs in the girl’s wide smile.

And then, she jumped into the air, shouting, “Kell wins,” before landing back down, crouched as her hands landed in the dirt, and she looked back at Fluttershy with her wide grin. Fluttershy could now tell just how pale the girl’s skin was as the moonlight bathed the both of them in dim, white light.

This also helped Fluttershy realize that whatever this girl was, she was almost naked, kept covered only by small, white panties, and a wrap over her flat chest. Fluttershy quickly looked away as she stepped back, trying to figure out what was going on, before the girl before her spoke again. “Oh, I’m sorry. Sarah keeps trying to teach me to introduce myself, so, uh, Hi! I’m Kell! Who are you, fuzzy lady?”

Fluttershy swallowed hard at the extended hand to her, before looking back up at Kell’s face. How it was framed by slowly growing blue hair. She looked… sincere. Weird and dangerous, but… Not bad. Not aggressive. She’d seen that from plenty of angry predators before, and this wasn’t that.

Fluttershy reached back out, slipping her fingers into Kell’s, smiling at the girl as she slowly shook her surprisingly firm grip. “I’m Fluttershy, and… Where is your coat?”

Kell glanced down at herself, before tilting her head. “Coat? It’s not like it’s winter or anything. Kell is quite warm actually. What Kell wants to know is how you got boobs bigger than Sarahs! Kell doesn’t even know if she can make hers that big.”

Fluttershy blinked a few times, trying to grasp what that last line could mean, let alone the rest of it, before her eyes widened. Her face turned red, but she couldn’t look away. She had seen Twilight use magic once to try something like this but…

This creature’s, Kell’s, boobs were growing. And in fact, growing large enough to start straining the wrap over her chest, which finally made Fluttershy squeal out, “Stop,” as she grabbed Kell’s shoulders to try to stop her. “Your bra is going to break if you keep going like that!”

Kell giggled at the notion, Fluttershy’s action having brought them close enough for their breasts to be touching, and now she could tell better if she actually could beat out the other girl. Or creature. Or horse? She wasn’t sure exactly, but she let her breasts continue to grow, even as the fabric on her tore. “What’s the matter with that? It’s just us girls out here.”

Fluttershy could just picture what Rainbow Dash or Rarity would do to such a statement, only making her grasp on the situation get worse as her head felt like it was going to melt. “W-Well, I mean, you should try to stay d-decent, shouldn’t…”

And then she looked back into Kell’s eyes. How they shook and shuddered. How every part of the girl’s body was shaking like an animal backed into a corner, despite the smile she wore. “What… What’s wrong?”

Kell was quiet for a moment, before she looked around herself, and then looked back at Fluttershy, her bright blue hair now turning dark. “Where am I? Something felt weird, and now…”

Fluttershy slowly wrapped her arms around the girl, a little hard to do now that they were the same cup size, but Fluttershy had dealt with this so many times before with orphaned, little animals, holding her tight as she whispered, “It’s okay. Relax. Your home is still there, and now you have a friend.”

Kell gasped, before asking, “You’ll be my friend?”

Fluttershy smiled back. “Of course.”

“I made a fr-”

“Kell, shut the fuck up! It’s three in the morning!”

Both of the girls in front of Fluttershy’s looked back at the other house in the clearing, listening to the sound of a window being shut, before Fluttershy turned to Kell, who was scratching the back of her head as highlights of yellow came to her hair. “Sorry. That’s my friend Asa. She really cares about her sleep.”

Fluttershy merely nodded, wondering why she had to get the new, strange thing to happen to her, before smiling as Kell smiled at her. At least she had managed to make one of them her friend, she supposed.

Fight Me

LunarPrincess127: Thou hast been graced by my challenge! Shall ye fall before Alduin’s wrath, peasant

AsaRockx: Pfft. Alduin got nothing on my beasts, and knowing this new server, you should be calling me master.

LunarPrincess127 Thou hast not seen such disrespect in five matches! You dare bring such words into the sacred realm of Hearthstone?

AsaRockx: Look, I rocked it back in my world, so don’t feel bad that some horse can’t take my fire and claws.

LunarPrincess127: You make us laugh! Hahaha! Face my soldiers and tremble in fear for your demise!

AsaRockx: Oh, I will tremble so much as my one drop candle can kill them. Sorry, but you’re going to have to try a little harder to do better than to keep eating arrows in the face.

LunarPrincess127: We have our own weapons, peasant, and your animal companions mean nothing to it!

AsaRockx: Careful how you swing that cludgeol. A little harder, and it might just break on my hides.

LunarPrincess127: And if thou keeps trying to find my face, thou shall pay for it in spades when I bring out my champion!

AsaRockx: Oh, that old legendary? Yeah, I should be so afraid of one lucky pull you got. It’s going to take more that to beat my hounds.

LunarPrincess127: Thou efforts were grand, but you failed to kill us! Now next turn our Ashbringer finds your neck.

AsaRockx: Say, look at my little, unused Hero Power.

Don’t thou dare.

I think I dare.

Thou princess commands you sto-

Luna didn’t get farther in her message before the pony on the other side finished the match. She had lost matches before, but this one… This was the first one not to recognize who she was. The first not to give her the respect deserving of her position.

The first one to have angered her on a personal level.

Asa on the other hand, in a pair of black yoga pants and a yellow shirt with the Hearthstone symbol on the front of it, hummed to herself as she went out of the play area, looking back into her match history. She was just about done doing what Dave told her she ‘had’ to do, when the force of something teleporting into her and Sarah’s room pulled her hand back.

And there stood Princess Luna. Her heavy chest stuck forward, assisted by her folded arms that were set beneath them. Her eyes bore down through Asa as she leaned down, studying the odd creature, before dismissing it. It did not matter how strange this thing was. It still should have known its place.

Luna extended one hand, her voice booming through the house with such force that it would have shaken lesser craftsmanship. It did not save the demoness in the room from falling out of her bed in shock though as the princess spoke. “Thou are but a mere child, and yet thou so openly shows thyself in rebellion to the ruler of your land. Thou has no respect, no courtesy, and worse of all plays such a horrible class as Hunter! What say thee?”

Asa smiled a little before looking back at her computer as she hit a request for a fight and to become friends with the LunarPrincess127. “I’d say I have no idea what you’re talking about, and that I’m wondering if this ‘princess’ has enough balls to face my Rogue deck too. Or is she scared?”

Luna’s eyes widened, before she shouted, “We shall show thee how little fear we have,” before teleporting away.

Sarah slowly got up as Asa turned back to her computer, panting from waking up as she had and asked, “You know she could have killed you, right?”

“You know, with how bright and colorful this place is, I think I would have found it more interesting that way.” She didn’t dare look at Sarah though, unable to stop smiling at herself as Luna began shouting at her in the chat again as she chose a Druid deck.

Author's Note

Sorry for any and all non-Hearthstone fans that I confused with this.