Dainn sat in the royal yurt, staring into the fire as the agonized screams of Daring Do echoing in his ears. She had long ago given up on screaming, but still his subjects weren't giving her any rest. Everyone wanted a turn with this new exotic toy. Besides him sat his older sister, Engla. It wasn't an outright sin for the two siblings to hang out like this but it wasn't truly proper Caribou behavior either.

"She'll learn to accept it. And then she'll learn to love it. Just like I did."

For a moment Dainn wished he'd kept Daring Do's jacket so he could given it to his naked sibling to put on. Knowing these thoughts are heresy, he quickly banished them.

"Why does she have to suffer like this? Why does the Two Faced God want this?"

"As Ortwin always says, The Two Faced God moves in mysterious ways, Dainn. Just as He puts us cows through many trials, so does he do the same for bucks."

The many scars on Dainn's body attested to that.

"I guess you're right."

"I can see that this isn't the only thing bothering you, Dainn."

The Khagan sighed.

"If even half the tales this mare told me about the elite of this new land, we're up for one hell of a war."

"You're Khagan Dainn, brother. They should fear you, not you them. Three other clans rode against you at the Battle of the Bloodied Yurt and you outsmarted and smashed all of them!"

"There's one that stands out though. Discord. If the tales that mare spun about him are true, we've already lost. He could kill us by just snapping his fingers."

"Then why hasn't he overthrown these pathetic female rulers that lord over him yet?"

"A mare named Fluttershy convinced him into following them."

"And with what amazing sexual act did she do that?" Engla asked, stunned.

"That's the same thing I asked. Not through sex but through friendship."

"She has to be lying. Maybe everything she said to you was her trying to trick you."

"Don't talk strategy, Engla. You know that's not proper for a cow."

"Sorry."

"This Daring Do just let me lead her to the place of her raping without suspecting a thing. She had no reason to lie to me."

Engla thought for a moment. Then a bright smile appeared on her face.

"This Fluttershy gave him friendship. I'll give him one better. I'll give him love."

Dainn stroked his chin. This could work. His big sister was the prettiest cow in the whole clan. Every buck wanted to do her. This annoyed Dainn no matter how much he wished it didn't but it could be the solution to their problem.

"And what if he's unlovable?"

"Then I'll pretend I love him. I'd be employing the third aspect of the Two Faced God that way."

"Deception. This could work, Engla... Good plan, I guess."

He felt incredibly awkward saying that last thing to a cow. It felt even more awkward after having just scolded her for talking about strategy.

"What do you mean, Dainn? My clever little brother came up with this plan. I'm just a dumb cow." Engla said happily and shushed Dainn as he tried to protest.

Author's Note

I'm expecting quite a bit of flack on this. Not only from outsiders but from the powderkeg that is the Fall of Equestria fandom. I'll deal with that as it comes.

However, there's another group I might have offended: the religious. Be assured, me changing the villains' motivation from simple misogyny to a misguided religious zeal could be taken as an extremely hamfisted attempt to advocate for atheism. No such thing was meant when I made this change. The Caribou religion was introduced to keep the most ugly aspect of the Caribou (so ugly it's banned from Fimfiction and rightfully so) from cropping up again storywise. This fanfiction doesn't advocate for any philosophical, religious or political beliefs. Any element introduced is to drive the plot and keep its logical cohesion.

Special thanks to Aristagtle for helping to preserve the story's logical consistency and grammatical correctness