To Feel Is To Understand: Love, Sorrow, and Despair

“Release Maximus? How am I supposed to do that? Didn’t he die a long time ago?” I ask.

“There could be something we’ve missed.” Nexus says.

“No. Alright? That is way over my head.

I have to look for a new job, or else I can’t pay for the house that i’m living in.” I say.

“Come on. At least you’ll be remembered.” Nexus says.

“I’ll think about it. Right now, I have to go job searching.” I say.

“You are bigger than this.” Nexus says.

“No, I'm not. My days are behind me. The only thing I can do is look back.” I say.

“You are still alive. You can still make history.” Nexus says.

“The last time I tried to do something, I got people killed. The last thing I want to do, is get more ponies killed.” I say.

“That’s the thing; if you go through with this, no more ponies can die.” Nexus says.

“No. I can’t.” I say.

“You can, Arthur. You just have to put your mind to it.” Nexus says.

“Aren’t you supposed to be discouraging me? Do that, you are better at that.” I say.

Without noticing, I reach Twilight’s castle.

POV Swap

“Look, Twilight. Arthur is talking to himself again.“ Spike says.

“He’s been doing that a lot lately.“ I say.

“Do you think he finally lost it?” Rainbow says.

“I think he's just stressed out.” I say.

“Should we say something?” Spike asks.

“Maybe just to say hi.” I say.

We walk to Arthur.

“Hey, Twilight. Hey, Spike.“ Arthur says, while waving at us.

“What? Am I too awesome to be acknowledged?” Rainbow says.

“That's a pretty big word, Rainbow. Are you sure she isn't a changeling?” Arthur says.

“Did you just call me dumb?” Rainbow asks.

“Oh you caught on to that? I guess you don't have a small brain, after all.” Arthur says.

“What’s your deal, Arthur?” Rainbow asks.

“Look, I had a bad day. Okay?” Arthur says.

“You shouldn’t take it out on your friends. Do you want to talk about it?” I ask.

“Rainbow isn't my friend. None of you are, we are just acquaintances, we aren't friends; especially when you used me. And no; I don't want to talk about it.” Arthur says.

“We aren't friends?” I ask.

“Yes. We aren't.” Arthur says.

“Well, then. Since we aren’t friends, I’ve been itching to tell you how much I hate you.” Rainbow says.

“What did I ever do to you, Rainbow? Why do you always have to insult me?” Arthur asks.

“That’s just it, “Arthur”, if that’s even your real name, you didn’t do anything to me. It’s how you act, all high and mighty, when you were a criminal in your world!

Give us a reason to lock you up in Canterlot!” Rainbow says.

“The reason I act all high and mighty, is because i’m a natural leader, you bitch!” Arthur says.

“I have no idea what that means, but-” Rainbow says before Arthur cuts her off.

“I didn’t think your small brain could possibly know what that means.” Arthur says.

“You better check who your talking to in that tone.” Rainbow says.

“What can you do, besides talk? Fly fast? Oh, how scary! You gonna get your Wonderbolts out to get me? I’m so scared! Or are you gonna fly me to death?” Arthur asks.

“Me and Twilight were thinking more along the lines of exile, let Aro take care of you. Like your mom.” Rainbow says.

“You better take that back.” Arthur says.

“Or what? What are you gonna do? You are as threatening as Angel.” Rainbow asks.

“You have no idea what i’m capable of.” Arthur says.

“Yeah? You have no idea what i’m capable of.” Rainbow says.

“Stop it!” I yell.

“No!” Arthur yells back.

“What?” I ask.

“I said no!” Arthur yells.

I feel a painful pressure in my horn.

POV Swap

I feel the most painful chest pain I’ve felt; so far.

“Ahh! Fuck!” I yell, as I grab my chest.

Twilight grabs her horn.

“Spike! Ahh!” Twilight yells at the same time, as me.

“What!? What’s wrong, Twilight?!” Spike says.

The pain passes, in throbs.

“My horn! It felt like it was going to explode! I've never felt anything like that before!” Twilight says.

Unicorns all around us grab their horns. They too yell out in pain.

“What the buck was that?” Rainbow asks

I see dots around the edges of my eyes. My knees feel weak. I get very lightheaded. I let go, and pass out.

11/2 Hours Later

After Arthur blacked out, Twilight took him to her castle. Derpy is growing more concerned of Arthur.

“When do you think he’ll be awake?” I hear Derpy say.

“I think he should be awake soon.” Twilight says.

I open my eyes.

“What happened?” I ask.

“What do you remember?” Twilight asks.

“I remember failing the audition. I remember us fighting. And feeling very angry.” I say.

“You failed your audition?” Derpy asks.

“Wait. What audition?” Twilight asks.

“The archeology job I had. Dr. Ex wanted to see what I could do with my human body. But I failed.” I say.

“I just wanted to come check up on you. I had a dream of you, last night.” Derpy says.

“What happened in your dream?” I ask.

“In my dream, you killed yourself, with the gauntlet.” Derpy says.

That’s actually a good idea.

“I’m fine, Derpy. Really, I am.” I say.

I’m dying.

“Speaking of the gauntlet, did it flash?” Twilight asks.

“Not since yesterday.” I say.

“Oh! I almost forgot! Rainbow!” Twilight yells.

“What?” A groggy Rainbow Dash asks, from another room.

“Get over here! She wanted to apologize to you.” Twilight says.

“Apologize? What did she do?” Derpy asks.

Rainbow flies into the library.

“We got in a fight earlier.” I say.

“Is there something you want to say, Rainbow?” Twilight asks.

Rainbow Dash sighs, then says, “I’m really sorry, Arthur. I didn’t mean to say those things, I said, earlier. Please forgive me.”

“No.” I say.

“What?” Twilight, Rainbow, and Derpy says, simultaneously.

I say “I don’t forgive you. You don’t know what it’s like to have the only person that loved you, die.”

“But, I said i’m sorry.” Rainbow says.

Sorry won’t bring her back. Sorry won’t take away the pain. Sorry won’t make me forgive you.

“Just when I almost forgot. You just had to say something, right?” I say.

“I’m sorry, Arthur.” Rainbow says.

“I should have been there. I miss her so much.” I say.

“You can’t keep blaming yourself for that. There was nothing you could do.” Twilight says.

I look at Rainbow, then I say “I can’t believe, you said you were going to send me back, so I could “die like my mom”.”

“You said that? What the buck is wrong with you?” Derpy asks.

“I didn’t say that!” Rainbow says.

I say “But you meant it. Maybe I should, right? Maybe I should just go through that portal. It doesn’t seem like you would miss me that much anyways.”

“Don’t talk like that! Of course we would miss you!” Derpy says.

“Liar.” I say.

“I’m not lying. What about Moon and your other friends? They would miss you too.” Derpy says.

“I’m gonna go. I can’t talk to any of you, right now.” I say, before walking out of the room.

“Hello, Arthur.” An unknown voice says.

“Oh goddammit. What the hell do you want?” I ask.

“I have been watching you. Ever since you arrived in Equestria, I have seen what you have done.’ The voice says.

“Who are you?” I ask.

“I am Maximus. And I must return to Equestria.” Maximus says.

“Good luck, with that.” I say.

“You have to help me. Commodus is returning.” Maximus says.

“Arthur? I know you are dying. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anypony.” Twilight says.

“Nexus hit me with a slow-killing spell. I’m gonna die in two months.” I say.

“Can I help?” Twilight asks.

“Nexus said it’s irreversible.” I say.

“I’m going home. I’m too stressed out to talk.” I say, before walking out of the castle.

As my mind wanders, I get too distracted, that my mind subconsciously takes me into The Main Square.

“Arthur? Are you okay?” Lyra asks.

“Yeah. Just a bad day, is all.

Where is your friend?” I ask.

“It’s just me today.

Hey, are you still up for hanging out?” Lyra asks.

“Why not, right?” I ask.