Chapter 10: Fumes

If all we have is time, we'll be alright...

By the time the morning light had pierced through the clouds, Big Mac had already been awake for several hours. After completing some of the more mundane chores, he headed out to the fields to do some bucking. As he passed the barn, he froze, and his eyes narrowed. There was someone on top of it.

Half expecting to see his cousin, he squinted against the sunlight, ready to shout. He was surprised to find that it was a pegasus, hugging her forelegs, sitting near the roof’s edge. “Miss Darin’?”

Daring flinched at her name. She looked down to see the red stallion staring up at her. “Y’all alright up there?”

She sighed, staring up at the sun. The new day seemed to give her the lifeline that she had been reaching for. It gave her an escape from everything that happened in the past week. “Yeah… Yeah, I’m fine.”

A memory flashed through her head, and she winced. “I should have listened to what he said last night,” she grumbled. “Stupid. This is your fault.”

“Hey now, you want to talk about it?” Called Big Mac. Daring sighed, rubbing her temples.

“We can’t keep doin’ this. Fallin’ for alcohol and lies.” Cringing at the memory, Daring stepped off the roof, falling towards the ground. She spread her wings and landed easily. If the move had impressed Big Mac, he didn’t show it.

“Never understood why you pegasi enjoyed doin’ things like that,” he said.

“Thrill, I guess. What’s the point of dying if you don’t feel alive while doing it?” She kicked the ground. “Feel alive… that’s something I can’t do very well. All I’ve been doing is falling, and screaming the whole way down.”

“What do we have left, Darin’?”

“Time, I guess. We’ll be alright, Brae, trust me.”

Braeburn had rolled his eyes at the statement. “Not much, then.”

Daring shrugged. “It’s better than nothing.”

The pegasus blinked, pushing down the memories. “Sorry… I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

Big Mac glanced up the path. “Ah’ll leave you to it, then.” He hoisted a bucket onto his back and left, as another pony came into view.

Braeburn said nothing when he saw Daring. After an awkward silence, Daring sighed and turned away from him. “Where did I go wrong, Braeburn?”

“...You know Ah can’t answer that,” he responded.

Daring felt like she was about to collapse. “I don’t think I have much left, Brae… Been running on nothing for a few days…” She rubbed her eyes. “We’ll make it through tonight, sure. But what about tomorrow? Or the night after?”

“What do we have, Darin’?”

She looked up at him. “I don't know, but it’s better than nothing.”

xXx

A few days ago, Braeburn found himself in a dusty town, out on the outskirts of known land. Underneath the night sky, he entered a dusty old building, another stallion alongside him. “She means well, Deputy.”

“Does she? Sure don’t seem that way to me.” They came to a stop outside a large jail cell. “Hey! You’ve got a visitor.”

Daring looked up. The deputy unlocked the cell door and Braeburn stepped in. “Darin’... what did you do?”

She huffed in annoyance. “I didn’t do anything! I just made a… slight miscalculation.” The deputy coughed. “What are you doing here, Brae?”

“To get you out.” He turned and left the cell. Daring stood and followed.

“Thanks, Deputy,” Braeburn said, tipping his hat at him.

“Please, Brae, call me Silverstar.”

xXx

The two stood on the train platform in silence. After several minutes, Braeburn broke the silence. “Why’d you do it?”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Braeburn.”

“Darin’, come on. Please, tell me.”

She turned on him, a fire burning in her eyes. “Brae, I thought we understood each other. I thought that if we didn’t want to talk about something, we wouldn’t.”

“We did. But Ah think this is somethin’ we need to talk about.”

Daring rolled her eyes and stomped to the other end of the platform. “We don’t need to talk about anything!”

“Ah’m your friend, damn it! Ah want to help you!”

“Well, I don’t need your help!” The two now stood on opposite sides of the platform and were yelling across at each other.

“Then are you my friend or not?!” After the retort, the two stopped, glaring at each other.

Daring spoke first. “Brae… I’m sorry. It’s just… I need time to figure things out. My dreams are so close to coming true… Just… give me time.”

“Time… yeah. Time.” Braeburn scoffed and sat down on a bench. The conversation died down as the train arrived.

xXx

As the desert landscape flew by the window, Daring tried her best to pull herself from her mulling. She glanced across the aisle at Braeburn. The stallion had been silent after their confrontation on the platform. Giving up, she turned her eyes back out the window and drowned herself in her thoughts.

She had spent most of her time building walls between everyone she knew. For the most part, she had succeeded. She wanted them to be as far away from her as possible, lest they get hurt from getting too close. It was something she had done before, yet why did the wall between her and Braeburn keep falling down?

In the back of her mind, she knew that her friendships would keep dragging her back down. A deadweight, sinking her right down to the bottom. It wasn’t his fault, she reminded herself. Braeburn was rooted in his family, and wouldn’t leave them behind. Daring, on the other hand, was constantly bouncing around the world. Things hadn’t been the same between them since she came back. She had to let him go.

Yet she couldn’t. Daring frowned at the thought. She was lost again. It was a familiar feeling for her. Right when she was certain she found her way, she made a wrong turn and got herself lost. Running along a winding curved pathway, chasing a hint of a dream, Daring wasn’t sure where she was going, or how she was getting there. All she knew was that she wanted to spend more time with him, yet she was running out of time.

In a subconscious movement, she pulled out the locket and began rubbing it. “I won’t give up… I won’t fade away,” she whispered. What was she thinking? She couldn’t tell. The answer seemed so simple: leave him behind. Then maybe she wouldn’t get lost anymore.

She looked up at Braeburn again and her mind flashed back to when he found her on the hill. All those words they had said, it all seemed so surreal. They had laid on the grass, sharing plans and dreams, illuminated by the moonlight. Or had they?

As Daring thought back to that night, she remembered that she had talked for ages when she remembered Braeburn was there. He hadn’t said much himself, rather he had listened to what she had to say. As much as she tried, she couldn’t fit him into her dreams. It just wouldn’t work.

Her mind changed scenes to when she visited his house late at night. After their conversation, she turned back to the window. “I’ll see you around,” she had said. Why hadn’t she said goodbye? Why did she come back?

As she flew away from the farm, she reached into her shirt pocket and removed a picture. It was the one that Braeburn had shown her, the one with him smiling next to his cousin. If he knew that she had taken it, he hadn’t said anything.

Before she knew it, their train had arrived at its destination. As they disembarked, Daring saw Braeburn underneath the platform light. She realized how late it was, and how they were both covered in desert sand. “Brae… I don’t know what I’m missing, but I’m missing something… I don’t know what it is, but I’m doing what I can.”

“Ah know, Darin’. Ah know.” Braeburn sighed. “We can’t keep doin’ this, fallin’ for alcohol and lies… What do we have left, Darin’?”

“Time, I guess,” she answered.

Braeburn scoffed. “Not much then.”

Daring shrugged. “It’s better than dreaming.”