Chapter 13: love; not wrong (brave)

But please just hold on to me, I've slayed these demons they're old to me...

“Dear Spitfire,

I’m sorry that I’ve closed myself off to you. I know that you just wanted to help me, but I shoved you away. I’m not sure who I can trust, you know that. And I know that I’ve been hard to reach lately, but… I’m trying. You’re tired of it now, and that’s fine. It’s getting old, I know. So you won’t hear from me again. Goodbye.”

Daring sealed the letter shut, and lay it on a stack of other letters, each addressed to a different pony. With a sigh, she leaned back in her chair, stretching. A clatter from the other room caused her ear to twitch. “Darin’?”

Braeburn stuck his head in the room. “What’re you doin’?”

“Letting go,” replied Daring. “They don’t deserve me. I can’t be the friend they need, and I don’t want to drag them down anymore.”

Braeburn was quiet. “Ah don’t suppose there’s a letter for me in that stack?”

Daring shook her head. “No.”

“Darin’, Ah’ve fought off these demons before. It’s nothin’ new to me. If you need to let me go, do it.”

“That’s just it, Brae. I don’t want to forget you. You changed my life, either for better or worse. You were the first person I ever trusted fully.” Daring turned to the record player and set a disk marked ‘Vinyl Scratch Live from Manehattan’ on the turntable. As the song began, she continued to talk. “Sure, I still have the same dreams I’ve had for years, but this time… this time it’s different. It’s like I have control over it now, almost like a lucid dream.”

“Lucid dreams… those are the ones where you know you’re dreamin’, right?”

“Yeah.” As the chorus began, Daring turned to face Braeburn. “Brae… I know you don’t care much for love. Frankly, I don’t either. But I still want you to feel it.

“Alright, let’s hear it!” shouted Vinyl over the record.

“LOVE!” The recorded voices of the crowd exclaimed.

“It’s not here forever, Brae. I want you to feel it before it’s gone.”

“NOT!”

Braeburn was silent, unsure of what to say. Daring grabber his hoof and continued. “I think we’re more than we’re not, Brae. We don’t have to worry about what we’re not because what we are is so much better.”

“WRONG!”

“Ah know, Darin’, but… Ah’m scared.”

“Don’t be. Don’t be afraid to feel it.”

“BRAVE!”

Braeburn frowned, still hesitant. “But… everythin’s still wrong. How can Ah feel it?”

“LOVE!”

“It takes a skillful eye to find some beauty when everything’s going wrong,” she answered.

“NOT!”

“You just need to be brave, Brae. That’s all we could ever be.”

“BRAVE!”

“No matter how bad it looks, your world’s not ending. It’s just beginning.” She released his hoof and sighed. “I won’t leave, not now.”

She frowned at the letters. “I’m still fighting this one-sided war, and there’s no victory in sight. I can’t keep fighting it much longer, but I’m trying. I want to be the pony you think I am.”

“Darin’, who Ah want you to be doesn’t matter. It never has. If you figure yourself out, then it doesn’t matter if no one else understands. Sometimes you can’t explain it. You can’t sing, but you sing it anyway.” Daring turned away from the letters to look at him.

“Brae…. Please, just hold on. This isn’t our end, we’re not done yet. I’m figuring it out now, I’m changing.”

“Ah know. Ah’m not worried about it, Darin’.”

Pushing the letters to the side, Daring pulled out a stack of papers. “These fears that are in my head, the dreams I have in my sleep, they won’t get the best of me,” she thought. “I’ll chase them down. I’ll bend these nightmares until they’re gone. All I need is another happy ending.”

Braeburn lay his hoof on her shoulder. “Ah won’t let my doubt haunt me anymore,” he thought. “Ah’ve faced these demons before. They’re not new to me,” he said aloud. “Hold on, Darin’, and we’ll get through it.” He stared into Daring’s eyes. Colors around him seem to burst in hue and intensity.

His hooves slid from her shoulder to her hoof. “Darin,” he whispered. “Ah want you to feel loved too.” She held his gaze. “Weŕe not here forever, and hell, who knows how much time we’ve got left? Ah know you’re more than you think you are.”

“Brae… I think you think too much of me,” she replied, a blush forming on her cheeks.

“You said it yourself. Never fear to feel good.”

“LOVE!”

“Even when everything’s wrong,” she finished. Their faces moved closer until they were inches apart. “I can’t fight this anymore.”

“Then don’t.”

“Brae… I’m scared.”

“NOT!”

“So am Ah, but we have to be brave. It’s all we ever are.”

“All we ever are is brave….” As the song ended, their lips connected.