Chapter 3: rock + roll

“And that I gave it hell, and if it hurt, oh well…”

Despite the hour, the bar was quiet. Few ponies were lounging about, chatting amongst themselves. The air was filled with the sounds of clinking glasses, voices, and an ambient song playing from the jukebox in the corner. Braeburn was sitting across from a large workhorse who dwarfed the other patrons in size. Playing cards were laid out in front of the two, but Braeburn couldn’t remember what they had been playing before they gave up.

“You good?” His cousin’s voice caused Braeburn to look up.

“Fine, Big Mac.” He eyed the bottle sitting to his right, still untouched. “Thinkin’ of laying off on the hard cider for a while.”

“Good choice,” responded Big Mac. He stood up, finishing his own drink. “Headed back. You comin’?”

Braeburn leaned back in his chair, stretching. “Nah, not yet.” Big Mac nodded, leaving the bar. Braeburn’s eyes followed him. His cousin was a stallion of few words, yet he was a hard worker, willing to give it all to his family. Not unlike himself, Braeburn thought. He would gladly lay down his life if only to make somepony else happy. Too bad nopony ever requested that of him. He ended up staring at the bottle, thoughts running through his head.

“This is who I am, huh?” he said softly.

xXx

Daring Do trotted down the streets, darkened by the night. Few other ponies could be seen, most of them keeping to themselves. With a sigh, Daring paused at the street corner. Her eyes wandered across the signs before finding what she was looking for. Entering the quiet bar, she was almost relieved that none of the patrons seemed to notice her. She trotted up to the bartender. “Excuse me, I was looking for a Big Macintosh?”

The unicorn set a glass on the counter with his magic. “He just left. Did you need something from him?”

Daring shook her head. “I was supposed to give him something.” In her saddlebags was a package from Soarin. The pegasus would have delivered it himself, but an emergency had occurred, commanding both his and Spitfire’s attention.

“Well, you could give it to his cousin. That’s him right there,” the bartender said, jerking his head at a tan stallion sitting alone at a table.

“Oh? Thanks,” Daring said, trotting over. The stallion was eyeing a bottle, leaning back in his chair. A brown hat sat on the table, along with some scattered playing cards. “Excuse me,” Daring said.

Braeburn looked up from the bottle. “Hm?” An olive coated pegasus stood in front of him.

“I have a package for Big Macintosh, the bartender said you were his cousin?” Braeburn nodded, leaning forwards so that his chair touched the ground again.

“Eeyup.” Daring reached into her pack and pulled out the package, wrapped in paper. She set on the table, then pointed to the bottle with her hoof.

“Are you going to drink that?” Braeburn glanced at the bottle, thinking for a moment, before sliding it across the table.

“Thanks,” responded the pegasus, popping the cap. “My name’s Daring, by the way.”

“Braeburn,” came an almost automated response. Daring took a swig from the bottle, then set it back on the table.

“Braeburn… are you okay?” The pony blinked. “I don’t mean to pry, it’s just… you look a little out of it.”

He chuckled. “Nah, ‘Ahm fine. I guess… this is just who I am.”

Daring spun the bottle on the table before steadying it. “You don’t believe that, do you?”

Braeburn glanced at her. “Ah… dunno anymore. Ponies tell me Ah’ve got somethin’ more, but ‘Ah don’t know what the hay it is.”

Daring nodded knowingly. “I know exactly what you mean.” The two sat in a strange, comfortable silent for a moment.

Braeburn spoke first. “You know… you could be loved if you really want to.”

The bottle froze in Daring’s hooves. “Huh?”

Braeburn shrugged. “You’ve got friends, a life, a chance. More than Ah’ve ever got anyways. Ah’m tired of listenin’ to them tell me that ‘Ah can be more than what ‘Ah am. Way ‘Ah figure it, you’ve got it better than ‘Ah ever could.”

The pegasus chuckled and took another swig. “Not exactly. Yeah, I’ve got some great friends, but… I just don’t want anypony to see me when I’m down. And it seems that I’m losing friends faster than I can make amends.” The pegasus paused, a stray thought crossing her mind.

“You ever feel… like all you want is to be up there, right next to all the legends of Equestria? Like some sort of rockstar?’

Braeburn looked at her quizzically. “Not sure Ah follow.”

“I don’t know… At this point, I don’t even care what I do. I could save the world or end it, doesn’t matter.”

“As long as you’ll be remembered, huh?”

She nodded in confirmation. “To be remembered… that’s all I could ever want.”

The stallion was silent for a moment. “Aren’t you famous already?”

Daring Do blinked, then sighed. “So you did recognize me.”

“All due respect, Ah don’t see why a pony like you is so worried about bein’ forgotten,” stated the stallion.

The pegasus rolled her eyes. “Yeah? May seem like that, but nopony’s going to remember some writer from years ago. I’m going to burn out soon, I can feel it… might as well enjoy my 10 minutes of fame while it lasts.” She drank again, emptying the bottle. “Even if those 10 minutes just turn into 10 years of telling ponies what they want to hear before I fade into obscurity.”

Daring rubber her eyes. “Why am I even talking to you? It’s not like I owe you anything… or even know you for that matter,” she grumbled.

“Mhm. Guess you’re right, Ah don’t get what you fear. But Ah still think you could be loved. Just remember, you can’t keep runnin’ from your mistakes forever… that’s somethin’ I learned.” Braeburn scooped up his hat and gathered the playing cards. “Ah best be goin’ now. Ah’ll make sure this package gets to Mac.”

Daring’s mind flashed back to a conversation she had the other month. “You’re not going to here forever, Daring,” the pony said.

“I’m not dumb, you know,” she snapped back. “You’re only here because of that stupid book. Some friend you turned out to be.”

The pony raised an eyebrow. “Daring-”

“No. I don’t need you. I’m want to be something new, something that doesn’t fit these stupid molds you throw at me. And I don’t care if you keep doubting me, I-”

“Daring, stop,” the pony commanded.

The pegasus looked into the other pony’s eyes. “I can’t.”

Daring blinked, realizing she was still sitting at the bar. She shot up and trotted out the door, catching Braeburn down the street. “Braeburn, wait!”

The pony stopped and turned, confused. From the nightclub next to them, hard rock music could be heard pumping through the speakers.

“Look, I’m sorry about what I said earlier. It’s just… I’ve been a little stressed lately.”

“Braeburn waved a hoof dismissively. “It’s fine. Ah shouldn't've been so blunt. Ain't nothin’ wrong with wantin’ to burn bright.”

The author heaved a sigh. “Yeah… Wonder what it feels like to burn out before you hit the top, though. To go down in flames… Spitfire would kill me for using those words,” she muttered.

“Maybe it’s better to burn out young. That’s how most of those rockstars went anyways,” responded Braeburn, noting the song blasting from inside the club.
“Alright everypony! Let’s hear you shout!” The DJ’s voice carried through the door. “I want to hear you make some noise, you here?”

Daring scraped her hoof against the sidewalk. “Heh… All I’ve ever wanted is for someone to cry when I’m gone.” Her eyes locked with Braeburn. “What about you?”

“We all know this song, yeah? Alright! Let’s get this on! Lemme hear you say ‘love’ on 3!” The DJ roared.

“Me? Ah don’t think anyone will notice when I’m gone,” responded Braeburn.

“LOVE!”

The two didn’t flinch as the crowd’s voices crashed through the door.

“No rock and roll for you, huh?” joked Daring.

“NOT!”

“Reckon not,” confirmed Braeburn.

“WRONG!”

“You know… I guess I’m not scared to live anymore.”

“BRAVE!”

“Ah felt like that once… A long time ago. All Ah want now is to see what’s underneath those empty words ponies say.”

“LOVE!”

“What changed your mind?”

Braeburn glanced up at the sky, lost in thought.

“NOT!”

“Ah dunno… guess Ah wanted to feel like Ah was still livin’. When Ah die, Ah want to feel like I lived in paradise already, ‘stead of feelin’ like I’m headed to it.” He blinked, and the moment passed. “But that was then. Ah’ve already given it hell. No point in beatin’ the dead horse.”

“BRAVE!”

Daring lay a hoof on his withers. “Darin’... does it get any easier? Findin’ yourself, I mean?” asked Braeburn.

She sighed. “No, it… You know what? Yes, yes it does. You just have to figure out what you want.”

“Ah’ve already tried that. Everythin’ Ah’ve done’s fallen apart. Mah friends are gone, mah family’s worried… ”

“Relax. You’ll figure it out.” She smiled at him. “I’m not worried about you.”