Chapter 6: Nocturne

“So I won’t sleep, no more…”

“Are you sure about this?”

Braeburn rolled his eyes. “Sweet Celestia, AJ. Ah’ve said it already, Ah’m sure. Ah go up there all the time.”

Applejack looked form him to the rooftop, then back to him. “Ah really don’t know…”

“Hey, if you fall, Ah’ll catch you. Okay?” Deadpanned the stallion.

Applejack glared at her cousin. “That ain’t very comfortin’, Brae.” With a sigh of frustration, Braeburn grabbed the weather vane from her saddlebag and stuck it in his own. Trotting over, Braeburn climbed the ladder to the barn’s roof.

As Applejack watched her cousin install the tool, her ear twitched as she heard a pegasus land behind her. “Help you?” she asked.

The yellow coated pegasus shook her head. “I was looking for him, actually,” Spitfire answered, jerking her head at Braeburn.

“Oh, he’ll be down in a minute. Anythin’ Ah could help with?” Spitfire shook her head.

“It’s about a friend of ours.”

Applejack chuckled. “Friend… It’s been a while since Brae’s had one.” Applejack turned, noticing the time. “Ah’ll leave you to it.” With that, she trotted back towards the farmhouse. Spitfire watched as the Braeburn stepped back, satisfied with his work, and descended the ladder.

“Hey, Braeburn? My name’s Spitfire, I’m a friend of Daring.”

Braeburn nodded. “Yeah, she’s mentioned you. How can Ah help?”

Spitfire followed as Braeburn began to trot back to the farmhouse. “Daring speaks highly of you.”

“Pfft. Ain’t nothin’ much to say about me,” scoffed Braeburn.

“Look, I need a favor from you,” Spitfire said, ignoring his comment.

Squinting at the sunset, Braeburn opened the barn doors, a half-dismantled wagon sitting inside. “Shoot.”

“It’s about Daring. She hasn’t been sleeping much lately. I think she’s stressed by something, I just don’t know what.”

Braeburn hesitated before responding. “Darin’ an’ Ah have an… understandin’. She doesn’t ask about my problems, an’ Ah don’t ask about hers.”

“Please, Braeburn, just talk to her. She’s seemed a little distant lately, and she won’t talk to me or Soarin. We’re worried about her, and we don’t know what to do.”

He could tell that the pegasus was genuinely concerned, and thought for a minute. If he prodded too deep, would he lose the best chance at friendship he’d had in ages? Or what if he didn’t like what he found? Defeated, Braeburn sighed.. “Ah’ll… see what Ah can do.”

Spitfire smiled. “Thanks, I owe you one.”

xXx

The wind breezed by Daring’s face as she flew is a lazy pattern. The city miles away had long fallen asleep, leaving her alone with the stars. Circling one last time, the pegasus landed on a small hill on the outskirts of the city. A pony was watching her, leaning against a tree. “You come here often?” she asked, flashing a grin at him.

Braeburn rolled his eyes. “Not exactly. Ah get the feelin’ you’re here more often than Ah am.”

Daring shrugged, settling down on the grass. “I’ve just been doing some thinking lately.”

Braeburn trotted next to her, but remained standing. “Goes for me too… What’s been on your mind?”

The pegasus lay on her back, crossing her hooves behind her head. “I made a decision the other day. Decided that I’m not going to write books for an editor, just like I’m not going to go on expeditions for the sake of fame. I mean, sure, it’s great to have fans, but I shouldn’t have to write for them. I want to write because… because I want to, not because I have to.” She blew a stray strand of her mane out of her face. “I’d rather put my faith in nothing rather than something I don’t believe in.”

“Darin’... Spitfire paid me a visit earlier.”

Daring was quiet. “And she asked you to check on me, huh?”

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t wanna.”

A peaceful silence fell between them. There was a silent understanding between them, even though no words were spoken. It usually happened when one of them didn’t feel like talking, and the other didn’t want to push them. This time, however, it meant Daring did want to talk, and Braeburn was willing to listen.

“If… if there’s anything I’ve found out, it’s that life goes by fast. A blink and you’ll miss it sort of thing. I’ve been fighting to keep my eyes open so I don’t miss a second of it, but sometimes you can’t help but blink. Like I said, I don’t want to write what they want me to write. It just feels so… cold and fake. And I don’t want to be upset that things are the way they are, so I just accepted it.” She shifted her gaze from the ground to the sky.

“Feels like I can only make headlines at night, in my sleep. I keep dreaming about making things right, but I have no idea where to start. So I keep living this lie, and I hate myself for it, but I guess there’s no one else to blame but myself.”

As she talked, she ceased caring who she was talking to. The only thing that mattered was getting the words out. “I couldn’t take it anymore, so I just decided to stop sleeping. Wasn’t a straight up decision, actually. It started with me trying to come up with a way out of this. One night turned into another and another and now… here we are, I guess. Along the way I just figured that there was more than wishing my life away, so I went out and tried to find that something. Didn’t matter what I did or where I went, I couldn’t find it. Every trip seemed to get more and more confusing. I guess I just had this notion that I could figure out my life without giving up what I loved doing. Yet at the same time, I didn’t want to dream anymore.”

Daring traced a constellation with her hoof. “I don’t know, I can’t really describe what it feels like. This doubt has been lingering inside me for ages now, but it seems to be getting stronger each day.”

“It’s only real if you let it get to you.” Remembering she wasn’t alone, she turned her eyes to Braeburn. The stallion was still standing, watching the same stars she was. “That’s what Ah decided. Figured if Ah didn’t let anythin’ bother me, why, Ah’d practically be invincible.” He chuckled.“Didn’t work all too well, but still. The idea still stands.”

“Guess so,” Daring responded, her eyes moving back to the sky. “Since I got back from my last trip, I’ve been letting go of my ghosts, so to speak. Trying to get rid of these things that’ve been haunting me all my life. Hasn’t been easy, but I’m getting there.” She reached into the pocket of her dark green shirt and pulled out a folded up piece of paper. “I tried writing all of this down, but it didn’t make much sense. Still… these words are all I’ve got now.” The pegasus sat up.

“This is the first time I’ve talked about this… and it actually feels good to get it out there. Makes me feel like… like if I kept talking, I’d find the answer to all my problems.”

“Maybe you will,” offered Braeburn.

Daring wrapped a wing around him. “Thanks, Brae. You’re a great listener.”

Braeburn laughed. “First time Ah’ve ever heard that before.”

The two sat in silence, watching the stars. “Say, Brae… you ever have a dream that you gave up on?”

“Eeyup. Ah wanted to start the first desert farm known to pony kind.” He laughed. “Can you imagine that? An orchard of apples in the desert?”

“Hey, it might be possible. Who knows?”