Pop Goes Celestia

by averageamazingme

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Luna, Comedy, Twilight Sparkle, Random, Discord, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1428

It was an innocent movie night. The flick itself would become moot, a distraction from the main source of entertainment/horrific annihilation. All ponies will rue the day that popcorn came to the land of Equestria, as cities and towns alike burn.

Twilight's movie night has...unintended consequences that spell the end of civilization as we know it. Certainly an end to the age of ponies. All because nopony had a toothpick. Well, and Discord bringing the corn in the first place, because really, what kind of sadist brings popcorn without a way to get it out of uncomfortable places. No not those places.

Published 2018-02-05 08:00:07 UTC
Last updated 2018-02-05 08:00:07 UTC

Luna Thought It All In Good Fun

Twilight Sparkle's movie nights were anything but spectacular, as far as Discord and Luna were concerned. In the last three educational documentaries screened at Twilight's Movie Nights, the unlikely pair traded riffs on the silly things, making fun of locations, the drab adventurer's uniform of the ponies on safari, and above all else, the scripts. These critiques and comments earned meaningful glares from Twilight and even Princess Celestia. This usually resulted in Luna rolling her eyes and Discord literally plucking out his eyes and rolling them away from the film. Both of them knew Celestia had to hate it as much as they did. The trick was getting terminally good-natured Celestia to admit it.

As they prepared themselves for yet another excursion into aversion, Discord snapped. It wasn't exactly a pretty sight as the being of chaos looked as if he'd broken every bone-like structure in his body, but luckily he only stayed that way for a few seconds before pulling himself back into shape with an irritated growl. "I swear, I would do anything to get out of this. Even rip several tears into the space-time continuum!"

Realizing the danger of the situation, Luna tapped a hoof to her chin and then piped up. "What if we pranked Celestia and Twilight? That would actually make this evening bearable!"

Discord twisted himself as one would wring a towel and smiled gleefully. "I love the way your twisted mind works. What shall we do?"

"I think we should take care of the refreshments tonight," Luna began.

Discord cut her off. "Oh, that's hardly anything! Besides, Celestia expressly forbade me from bringing any of my normal treats to these movie nights. A shame, really, I'd just perfected the recipe on my Earthquake Cupcakes."

Silently thanking Celestia for that bit of foresight, Luna pressed on. "No, not just any refreshments. She forbade you from bringing any of your treats and they couldn't stand out so much as to draw attention or suspicion. So, we must be subtle. Can you make some popcorn..." Again, Discord interrupted.

The chaotic one howled in frustration. "Make some popcorn? Are you certain you want to prank them? With popcorn? What's so bad about popcorn?"

Luna sighed, and got to the point. "Popcorn that's sure to get those little yellow shell bits stuck in between teeth at every bite?"

"Well, that's a start, but wouldn't they just be able to pick them out?" Discord asked, scratching his chin.

Luna smiled like a cat who ate the canary. "Not if they don't have any toothpicks. I've personally insured that all toothpicks in the castle have been destroyed."

Discord turned a surprised gaze on the princess of the night. "Well, now. You've actually thought ahead on this?"

Nodding, Luna continued. "Trust me, when it comes to pranks, I'm a fanatic. And I have some cinnamon-sugar seasoning that's laced with a very subtle, magic-cancelling magic. But back to the popcorn. Can you do it?"

Discord put claw and paw together and popped his knuckles. "Just leave it to me."

The deceitful duo walked in just as Celestia and Twilight took their places on their pillows on the floor. "Ah, joining us? And do I smell popcorn?" Celestia asked.

"Yes, indeed sister." Luna cooed sweetly. "Topped with cinnamon and sugar."

"Oh, that's great, Luna," Twilight said brightly as she lit her horn to start the projector. "Thanks, Luna!"

"We'll have to share bags, since we've only got two. Didn't want to be too late to the premiere of...what are we watching?" Discord asked, doing his best to feign interest.

"Stoat-al Recall: On the Memory Faculties of Weasels." Twilight replied with great aplomb.

Discord blinked, his smile fading a touch. "Great," Discord said with much less aplomb.

Luna nudged him. "Oh, be a good sport and give the girls their popcorn."

"Oh, right!" Discord said, setting the bag between the two nerd princesses. As he turned to sit with Luna, he asked in a low whisper, "Didn't we watch this movie last time?"

"No, that was 'Goat-al Eclipse: The Decline of Polite Goat Society,'" Luna answered.

Discord face-palmed with his paw and groaned softly.

Luna nudged him again and pointed to Celestia and Twilight. As Luna and Discord watched, they bumped hooves as they both reached for the bag. Both withdrew their hooves, signalling to the other to take the first kernels. Then, they bumped hooves once again as they went for it at the same time. The process repeated again before Discord stood up and cut the bag in two long-ways. Each half retained their kernels in disregard to the laws of gravity and the breaching of the container. Handing one half to each princess, Discord huffed as he sat back down next to Luna.

He turned to her. "This better be worth the trouble."

Luna simply shrugged and pointed. Both Celestia and Twilight had their hooves in their half-bags of popcorn. Their hoof-fulls came up to their mouths almost in unison until Twilight turned to say something to Celestia.

"Shh!" Luna whispered as she rudely kicked Twilight's cushion. Twilight dropped her hoof-full of popcorn and turned around to glare at Luna. Celestia also looked back reproachfully, to which Luna looked on innocently, as if to say 'I just want to hear the movie.'

Twilight and Celestia shook their heads at Luna and turned back to watch the movie. Celestia finally tossed the kernels in her hoof into her mouth while Twilight grabbed another hoof-full and did the same. Within seconds, their discomfort became plain. Celestia cracked first and tried to loosen an irritating kernel with her hoof. Twilight actually took another hoof-full into her mouth before she set her bag down and worked her tongue furiously.

Twilight's horn flashed brilliantly, surprising everyone. The glass of water she had summoned was overflowing with water. As she tried to take a drink the water shot at her face with the force of a fire-hose. In her alarm, she sent the glass through the wall. A glass-sized hole appeared in the solid marble.

"What did you put in that popcorn?" Discord asked, shocked and delighted at the same time.

"Um, well, there's a chance that I accidentally added magic-strengthening powder into the seasoning, instead of magic-sapping powder. They are right next to each other in my cabinet and I've actually been meaning to relabel a few of the older..." She trailed off as Twilight and Celestia turned around angrily.

"You did WHAT?" Twilight asked, erupting into a literal ball of fire. Luna managed to throw a shield up around herself and Discord just before they were consumed by the blaze. "Ugh, I was a literal being of fire for a few seconds and the kernels are still STUCK IN MY TEETH!" Twilight said, hoof against her lips.

"Luna, get us some toothpicks, please!" Celestia ordered.

"I...kinda made sure they were all destroyed." Luna admitted.

"YOU DID WHAT?" Both Twilight and Celestia yelled just before they both went supernova. Luna and Discord teleported out of the castle. The fireball blew apart the top of the tower where they'd been watching the film. Luna just had time to think that at least that copy of Stoat-al Recall would never harm another pony again before two more explosions rocked the ground in front of her.

Twilight and Celestia stood in front of Luna and Discord, pieces of the tower had come along with them and slammed into the ground all around. Beams of energy shot off of the two horns unpredictably, tearing lines up out of the ground around them and the city behind them. Within a few moments, Canterlot was in flames and ruins.

Shielded against the debris, Luna tried for contriteness. "Sister, I'm sorry! 'Twas only a prank!"

Celestia's horn flashed, drawing the sun up behind her with astonishing speed. "You call this a prank?"

"Well, there was a mix-up, admittedly, but..." Luna cut herself off as the sun kept going and going around in a dizzying blur of day and night. "Could you keep that sun still?"

"I'll try." Celestia lit her horn again and the sun stopped at its highest point. Then it shrank, becoming brighter as it collapsed inwards. Celestia let the sun go, but it felt much warmer now.

"Did you just re-condense the sun!?!" Luna asked, horrified.

"I wasn't trying to!" Celestia screeched. "You doomed Equestria for a prank! You will take the fall for this!"

Author's Note

Based on a silly prompt from a story idea generator.