One morning as I, kohen got up from the bed and headed over to the living room to watch some mlp, I spotted Eddie crying his ass off I asked what was the matter and was horrified by the news. Our fucking remote was broken, and we were pissed as we both sat there and wept Eddie mentioned using the buttons on the TV “are you fucking crazy we aren’t cavemen we don’t use the buttons on the TV you fucksicle” after we discussed our options we tried to settle on one “how about we just buy a new remote” said Eddie
“That might just work but how are two college kids gonna get the money for a new remote, I had to blend hotdogs for hydration for God’s sake”I exclaimed
“Well there is always watching Netflix on our phones” replied Eddie
“Fuck it we’re buying a remote”
In the afternoon as we went to Walmart we discovered the most hippy ass van ever in the parking lot with a “shop” sign on it
“I guess since there is two of us it’s impossible to be raped, so we can look in there” said Eddie. As we entered we saw it, under a shiny light the most magical thing we’ve ever seen a dildo shaped purple universal remote
“Oh my god it’s perfect” Eddie said “well well well, I see you’re interested in my remote” said an oddly familiar voice
“Uh yeah we love dildo shaped items so can we have it” said Eddie who seemed to be getting a boner as we saw rainbow colored hair slide past the light. Although I was confused on why the owner wasn’t showing her face, I didn’t care as long as we got the remote
“So what’s the price” I asked
“I’ll give it to ya for free” said a very shy sounding voice oddly enough it reminded me of someone giving me a boner
“Oh ok…”
“So do you want it, it’ll be a blast to -CAN I SEE YOUR TITS” Eddie interrupted the rainbow haired women, I hit Eddie reminding him I’d be the first to get one of these ladies. As I reached for the awesome remote the rainbow-haired women did as Eddie asked, I said
“Shit I was wrong” and she told Eddie how hot he was. As I sat there pissed the rainbow-haired women told the other one to make her move she did as she was asked and then flashed me. Then we grabbed the remote and walked out with jizz in our pants, we couldn’t take it obviously.
At home after taking turns jerking off in the bathroom for 2 hours. We were so excited we sat down and turned on Netflix then clicked mlp. Although we wanted to watch mlp we noticed a peculiar button that shined rainbows over it constantly, Eddie and I seeing this decided to immediately press it.
*Swoosh swoosh teleporting sounds* aaaaaahhhhhhh “why the fuck are we in the sky” I screamed
“ What are you talking about you’re not in the sky” whoever was talking was right we were in a hot air balloon I turned to meet our new neighbor and almost fell out of the balloon.
“Hiya, sky flame” said a jumpy pink anthro who claimed her name was pinky pie and as I looked to the left I saw another anthro who claimed her name was twilight sparkle.
“Man I knew there was something going on in that van, the moment I saw marijuana symbols on it” Eddie said
“Nah you aren’t high man” I turned and saw someone who I assumed was rainbow dash and Eddie automatically got a boner and tried to hold in his jizz
“You guys are full of shit you’re not the real mlp crew” I said in disbelief
“Um are you sure, you weren’t disbelieving in the human world” I looked and saw fluttershy and immediately changed my mind
“Oh… no, I believe you” I held back my jizz as I admired her bust.
“Hey you gonna be alright you look like you are going to get a nosebleed anime style” Eddie said.
“You don’t look so good yourself Eddie… um, what’s the white stuff dripping down your pants dude” Eddie was super embarrassed, but everyone looked so confused like they’ve never seen cum? Then I realized it wasn’t the cum when rainbow dash said
“Um I thought your guy's names were sky flame and moon shadow” shit they only knew us by our names we used when we did mlp shit online.
“Well, technically I guess those are our names when we’re here”
“Oh ok sowhatdoyouwanttodo,” said Pinkie excitedly
“Well I know that edd- I mean moon shadow wants to fuck rainbow dash” everyone stared in shock except pinkie who couldn’t stop laughing and rainbow who seemed excited. Moon shadow immediately kicked sky flame in
The balls
“Ahhh fuck!” He exclaimed
“That's what you get asshole” Shadow Laughed. Then sky immediately retaliated and pushed him off the air balloon and since he didn’t know how his wings worked he fell to the ground. As everyone now laughed Eddie was pissed even rainbow dash laughed which made him even more pissed.
I repeatedly made of fun of shadow, flutters was aroused on how mean someone could be she never realized it was possible. As shadow slowly learned how his wings work he zoomed across the sky “
I wanna do that” sky said before he followed shadow except since he’s smarter it only took him 2.5 seconds to learn how.
“Damn you sky I was trying to show off to dashie, cuz she likes flying and speed”
“Well that sucks” as they both flew around sky noticed an amazing place that seemed like home…
”oh it’s fluttershy’s house, no wonder it seemed like I’ve been here before cuz I have, in my dreams”
“What did you do in those dreams dude, please tell me you fucked her” rainbow said
“You know I did - I mean of course not” sky said realizing flutters was in ear shot. We eventually settled in AppleJack’s farm
“Sooo what are you up to aj” Pinkie said, who somehow managed to keep up with us
“Oh nothin’ just harvestin some apples ‘ere and there, and um who the fuck is that”
“Oh hello I’m sky flame and this is moon shadow”
“Holy fucks yer ‘ere already, I need to get you some apples” Applejack then dashed off.
“The fuck” said shadow. We then continued on our “tour” until we saw about every inch of ponyville
“Well this was fascinating but since we have no place to sleep I guess we’ll go home” we started to leave after shadow nodded in agreement
*Swoosh swoosh teleporting sounds” *huff huff* applejack just showed up with a basket of her finest apples
“Goddamnit mother fucker” she threw her apples on the ground when she realized we weren’t here then stormed off.
“Welp good night I guess” Eddie said
“Wait hold on what the fuck, are you understanding what just happened and all your gonna say is goodnight!!!”
“Oh I’m sorry don’t let the bedbugs bite” he says slamming his bedroom door.
The next day we headed over to ponyville and as soon as we got there we saw a strange looking pony and we got the feeling that no one likes her.
“Why the fuck didn’t you say hi” oh god it was rarity
“You couldn’t have said hi even though you probably passed my shop” she was pissed, then she saw our remote
“So I see you like pleasuring yourself” she quickly stomped our dildo shaped remote in to pieces
“Take that mother fucker”.
Author's Note
FYI we don’t really hate rarity we just realized we forgot to add rarity when we were on the ballon so we expressed how pissed she was at the end.
