In The End

by GoddessOfCarries

Rating: teen
Tags: Trixie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Starlight Glimmer, Romance, Suicide / Self Harm, Tragedy, Sad
Length: 2592

Some mistakes cannot be erased by even the most powerful of magic. Some decisions are once and for all.

WARNING: Major character death. If you are not fine with that, please turn away, now.

Some mistakes, once made, cannot be erased, no matter how much you want it to.

Such a mistake has already been committed.

And some decisions, once made, can never be reversed.

Such as letting yourself fall after your flames are completely extinguished.

Such a decision is being made right now.

An entry for the A Two-Faced Charade contest.

Published 2018-02-23 01:00:12 UTC
Last updated 2018-02-23 01:00:12 UTC

Our Ends Still Meet

"Why did you do this to me?"

"Why have I ever done this to you?"

"All I ever wanted was to be loved..."

"All you ever did was love me..."

"... yet you left me alone after all."

"... yet all I did was break your heart."

"I don't understand."

"I know you will never forgive me."

"I gave you every piece of me, but I guess that wasn't enough."

"I understand why. Nothing I did deserves to be forgiven."

"I should have known better, known that you and I was, and will never be a thing."

"You deserve someone better. Way better than a foolish, stuck-up cheater who had taken everything for granted."

"I don't know anything about you and Twilight, I honestly can't even believe how long you've kept this from me, anymore."

"I never wanted anything to do with Twilight. I couldn't make an excuse for what I've done, anymore."

"But I can definitely see why you've chosen her over me. I just hope it was worth it."

"What I've done is irreversible, unforgivable, and that is that. No more, no less."

"How can I blame you, anyway. I'm a terrible pony, everyone knows that."

"My heart was never with her. I knew I should have fought it, tried harder."

"No one else has ever been my friend. Even after I met Twilight, I knew something was missing."

"I couldn't control my anger, I couldn't overcome my pride. I couldn't accept the fact I was wrong."

"You are the only one who can make me glow in the dark. You are the only one that makes me a better pony in life. You are the only one who I have truly opened my heart up to, and only you can fill the space that originally filled my heart."

"I acted out of pure impulse. Not even instinct. In that instant, I became someone else. A lying, boastful blue mare who didn't have friends. The one who didn't deserve to be loved. The one who didn't even deserve a friend. The one who only destroyed everything that she touched."

"Ironically, you are also the only one who can ever make me feel so empty."

"The one that cheated on the only mare that has ever loved her only because of her failure to control her emotions."

"I will not say that I'm heartbroken..."

"I am not asking for forgiveness..."

"...because since the day you left my life..."

"...because there is absolutely no excuse to what I've done..."

"... there's nothing left in me for you to break."

"... but I am sorry. Even if that doesn't change anything."

"It's funny how when it is over..."

"I don't know why only after we've committed a mistake..."

"... you see everything that has happened flash before you in an instant..."

"...we would see the error of our ways, the pain we've inflicted..."

"... and that even if you know it's something terrible..."

"... and no matter how much we want to erase it..."

"...you couldn't help but smile."

"... not even the most powerful of magic can heal certain wounds."

"I know nopony is ever perfect..."

"Even if we all make mistakes..."

"... and mistakes in life can't be avoided..."

"... and everypony deserves a second chance..."

"...but some of them just can't be forgiven."

"...but a pony like me just shouldn't."

"I thought I knew everything."

"I couldn't handle a simple fight."

"I thought studying had made me smart."

"I couldn't admit that everything you said about me is true."

"Smart enough to know what's going on around me."

"Worst of all,I couldn't even apologize properly."

"But apparently I was so blind, I couldn't even see something that's right under my nose."

"I just watched as you stormed out, not even trying to make up for something that was entirely my fault."

"And that was the biggest mistake of my life."

"And that was the worst thing that I've ever done."

"I know we both made terrible choices before..."

"I know both of us have messed up in the past..."

"... but none of it has ever been this painful..."

"... but nothing has ever hurt like this before..."

"... and I've never felt this hopeless."

"... and I've never felt the despair like this."

"I know all my flaws..."

"I know I'm many things..."

"... temperamental, insecure, manipulative..."

"... boastful, arrogant, envious..."

"... until a point which I enslaved an entire town of ponies..."

"... so much that I once enslaved the whole of Ponyville..."

"... kept them away from their true talents..."

"... almost exiled Twilight entirely and tortured her friends..."

"... and while I believed I was right all along..."

"... and while the power felt good while it lasted..."

"... I was blind to the loneliness surrounding me."

"... I never in my life had a real friend."

"Sunburst was my only real friend, and I've never felt more alone when he was gone..."

"I had spent my whole life alone, only because I couldn't be more humble..."

"... I grew desperate, and now it is finally biting back at me..."

"... yet you forgave me on that night I betrayed you..."

"... but all I wanted was someone else. Someone else to love and be loved by."

"... and instead of being grateful, I took you for granted, again and again."

"I shouldn't have been so blind."

"I should have known everyone has a limit."

"I thought you understood me."

"I never should have crossed that line."

"But maybe I was wrong after all."

"Maybe I should have talked to you."

"Maybe no matter how hard you try, some things could never be changed."

"Anything, I should have done anything except cheating."

"Such as the fact that you are too selfish to ever truly feel remorse."

"Cheating on the only mare that has ever loved me."

"And that I'm a fool for believing that I had changed you."

"I'm even more of a traitor than I thought I was."

"Saying I'm not mad is definitely a lie..."

"I know why you would hate me..."

"... as well as saying I'm not disappointed..."

"... and you'll probably never want to see me again..."

"... but no matter how extreme these emotions go..."

"... but no matter where you are now..."

"... I could never bring myself to hate you."

"... I know I wouldn't be able to replace you."

"Because there is one thing in life..."

"Because if there is anything I've learned..."

"... that makes someone's life worth living..."

"... is that some ponies are just different from the others..."

"... that provides warmth even in the face of the coldest blizzards..."

"... they make you want to feel, to smile, to live..."

"... and that feeling is true, unconditional love."

"... and that pony in my life is you."

"Even if they have betrayed you more than once."

"Even if a cheater like me doesn't deserve them."

"Sometimes I believe that I wasn't good enough..."

"You have been nothing but the best to me..."

"... and even in the face of logic itself, proving that I've done nothing wrong..."

"... but I always neglected how much you mean to me..."

"... I still believe that this happened because of me."

"... and now you've gone, taking the light of my life away."

"When I met you..."

"When we first met..."

"... I knew what it was like to be wanted..."

"... I felt true happiness in my soul..."

"... it was like finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel..."

"... as if I was a foal finally making their first friend..."

"... just like how a filly feels when they get their cutie mark..."

"... breaking me out from this prison of loneliness..."

"... giving me a real purpose in life..."

"... giving me the will to live again..."

"... to work for, to fight for..."

"... to become better, stronger..."

"... to see who I truly am."

"... to finally understand what love means."

"But when you've left..."

"But now you're gone..."

"... I've learned that you can miss someone so much more than just their physical presence..."

"... every inch of hope I've built is shattered once more into a million pieces..."

"... even after you have grayed out every single memory you had with them..."

"... a fitting end for a liar and cheater such as myself..."

"... you still can't erase them completely."

"... and also for the better of you."

"Because I've been taught my whole life that nothing is constant but change..."

"You will have a happier time without me holding you back..."

"... but if there is one thing I know that will never change..."

"... so move on and find someone who actually deserves you..."

"... that is the fact that I love you."

"... and you can be truly happy again."

"I couldn't hate you even after what you've done."

"I don't deserved to be loved by someone like you."

"Maybe you already know that."

"Someone who is so forgiving and kind."

"Maybe that's why you did all of this."

"A passionate, loving unicorn that no one could hate."

"Maybe it's my fault for being too weak."

"Oh, Starlight, you really shouldn't have met me."

"Maybe a pony like me could just never have someone else."

"You should have left me alone in the darkness."

"Maybe I just could never stop feeling lonely."

"Because a cheater like me belongs there."

"Maybe loneliness is the escape from this kind of heartbreak."

"It's not the first time I've wished for death to claim me."

"After today, I will leave both of these options behind."

"And today, I will finally grant myself that wish."

"Anything is better than to stay alive without a purpose."

"Only death can provide relief from the pain I'm feeling right now."

"I don't know if I have forgiven you..."

"I don't know if you'll remember me..."

"... but there's one thing I know for sure..."

"... but if remembering me hurts too much..."

"... and that is I still love, and will forever love you."

"... it might be wise to just forget me."

"Because there is no reason needed for love."

"Because you are the one who deserves true happiness."

"It may seem like I have everything..."

"You have everything you need for a perfect life ahead..."

"... but without my other half, I have nothing. I am nothing."

"... so forget about the past. I am not worth your time, or your heartache."

"The world doesn't need me. No one does."

"No one likes me anyway. No one will remember me when I'm gone."

"Maybe except you."

"Everyone but you."

"But even that might no longer be true."

"But maybe not even you should care about me."

"Once, I would have turned away from this path..."

"Before, you would yell at me for thinking such things..."

"... but now it is too late..."

"... but I've waited too long..."

"...there's nothing between us anymore..."

"... this mistake of mine has gone too wrong..."

"... and even if there still is..."

"... even there's no right way to begin with..."

"... some things, once broken, just can't be mended."

"... and now it is all over."

"You didn't fail me."

"I failed you."

"Love didn't fail me either."

"But you shouldn't regard me as important anymore."

"I failed love. I failed this relationship."

"Because it's all my fault. There's no right thing about cheating out of anger and frustration."

"I lost the only mare I ever loved."

"More so on the only mare that has ever loved me."

"But maybe she doesn't love me at all."

"But now I've lost her, and she's gone from my life forever."

"Maybe I was never loved to begin with."

"And she is something that I could never replace."

"Maybe our relationship just wasn't meant to be."

"I've thrown away the only thing that matters to me in my life."

"At this point, I wonder if is it even your fault to begin with."

"And that basically means throwing away my own life."

"But no matter what I do..."

"Even if you don't remember me..."

"... where I will go..."

"... or hate me to no end..."

"... do know that I will never forget you..."

"... do know that I'll never stop missing you..."

"... because you are the only one I love..."

"... because I couldn't love anyone other than you..."

"... even if you will never hear of this."

"... even if I am leaving this world and entering another."

"Trixie Lulamoon..."

"Starlight Glimmer..."

"... I'm sorry you won't be able to hear my last words..."

"... I'm sorry that I never gave you what you deserve..."

"... but do know that the memories we made are always still with me..."

"... but do know that I will never forget what you have done for me..."

"... and the feeling of staring into the violet orbs that are your eyes..."

"... and the feeling of drowning in the deep blue of your eyes..."

"... the way your silvery blue mane reminds me of the calm moonlight..."

"... the way your brilliant purple mane glows in the light..."

"... the feeling of waking up next to you..."

"... the feeling of knowing that you're mine..."

"... the sound of your laughter that never fails to brighten up my day..."

"... the smile of yours that never fails to provide me strength..."

"... and knowing that I have a place in someone's heart."

"... and knowing that I finally have someone to love and cherish."

"Even if some of those things are no longer true..."

"Even if that's all water under the bridge now..."

"... and that they will never happen again..."

"... and that I might never get a chance to see those things again..."

"... I can't help but thank you for creating them."

"... I must thank you for at least giving me a chance."

"And made my life worth living while it lasted."

"And made my past worth remembering after all."

"Now, as I stand at the edge of my life..."

"Now, as I'm approaching my final moments..."

"... I can only see your face..."

"... I can only see you before me..."

"... as if you too were whispering into the wind..."

"... as if you were also saying goodbye..."

"... and saying my final words together with me before I take my leap of faith..."

"... and saying those three words that I'll never get tired of hearing before I leave..."

...

"... 'I love you.' "

...

We have both fallen before...

... but are you falling now?

Because I know I am.

And this will be my last fall.

In the end, I've found my place among the ashes.

...

Just like you...

-END-

Author's Note

Alright guys, I've finished my first story on this site.

I've never written anything like this before, and neither have I written MLP before, even though it is not my first time writing. I understand if it is no quality writing.

So I hope my contest entry was at least acceptable, not like I'm expecting to win anyway~
:derpytongue2:

I hope it was depressing for you as it was for me. StarTrix is my OTP and writing this was painful :fluttercry:

See you all around next time with something less depressing~

~Frosty