Is paved with good intentions
“Yo, Gilda! Over here!”
Gilda jolted upright from her seat, head turned to the source across the maroon and gold-themed restaurant, as did some of the other patrons in the otherwise quiet and relaxed atmosphere. Her talon moved to wave, then stopped as her eyes drank in the view.
Rainbow Dash beamed at her as she waved, draped in a silky midnight blue dress that shimmered in the light like stars with every movement and hugged her frame in all the right places. Polished, silver horseshoes adorned her hooves and her stylized prismatic mane just barely covered her left eye.
Hot. Damn.
Gilda prayed the heat in her chest did not show on her face.
“D-don’t be so loud, Dashie. She’s right there.”
Gilda snapped her attention to the pony next to Dash, Fluttershy. Her white dress was pinned to her frame by a gold belt, matching her horseshoes and metal choker. Make-up was light on Fluttershy’s face and her pink mane was pulled into a long ponytail. It was a good look for her, and combined with Dash, made for a complementary contrast. Her stomach twisted painfully at that thought.
Gilda flagged the two over to her table, who took up seats together opposite of her. “Finally you two show up. I was about to die of old age over here.” She gave a fist-hoof bump to Dash, bearing a small grin.
“My bad. Wonderbolt practice took a little longer than expected, not to mention the pain in the flank that’s gettin’ dressed up for this place,” said Rainbow.
Gilda huffed. “As long as you’ve been a Wonderbolt, they couldn’t give you a day off today of all days?”
“If I’m gonna take over for Spitfire as captain someday, can’t afford to miss practice. Wouldn’t look good, being her co-captain and all.” Rainbow’s eyes took a quick once-over of Gilda’s outfit; a black, sleeveless satin dress accentuated by gold bangles and thin necklace. She whistled. “Lookin’ hot, Gilda. Tryin’ to burn this place down or somethin’?”
Gilda’s face lit up like a fireplace, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly. “Fluttershy is right next to you, idiot...”
“That’s right, Dashie! Shame on you!” Fluttershy gave Dash a sharp poke on the side, half-glaring at the impish grin on Dash’s face.
“C’mon, ‘Shy, I’m just messin’ around! You know I only got eyes for ya!” Rainbow threw a wing around Fluttershy’s back. Gilda rolled her eyes at the antics, Dash’s flirty gaze at Fluttershy doing awful things to her chest. “Besides, when do we ever see Gilda in a dress? I’ve seen Hearth’s Warming miracles happen more often!” Fluttershy rolled her eyes, though could not hide the tiny smile on her muzzle.
“You’re one to talk,” Gilda mumbled under her breath. “Look, when you're done squawking like a dweeb can we order some food already? I’m starving!”
“Hey, is that any way to talk to the one paying for your food?” Rainbow remarked, but her smile didn't waver.
“Depends,” Gilda smirked, “is making the one who saved your reservation wait any better?” Then, she prodded Rainbow’s chest back with the tip of her talon. “On what was supposed to be a date for you two?”
“Our anniversary date,” Fluttershy joined, eyes narrowed teasingly at Rainbow. “You’re lucky I love you as much as I do and that I’m friends with Gilda now, or else you would be sleeping on the couch until our next anniversary.”
“Alright, I get it, don’t do things last minute! Sheesh!” Rainbow pulled up the menu, shielding herself from Gilda and Fluttershy’s barrage.
Satisfied, Fluttershy directed her attention to Gilda, smiling apologetically. “Yes, I know this was meant to be a date for Dash and I, but I really am okay with all three of us being together like this. Think of it as an additional celebration for you visiting Equestria, alright?”
Gilda’s gaze flickered to Dash briefly before going to Fluttershy. If only it was that easy, Fluttershy. She shrugged nonchalantly. “As long as you aren’t stressing over it, I won’t.”
A cream-coated unicorn mare sporting a black suit walked up to their table, three cups of water and a clipboard levitated in magic that matched her lime-green mane and eyes. “Welcome to Canterlot’s Rising Sun. My name is Junes, and I’ll be your server. What can I get for you three today?”
“Still thinking about it. Take their order first,” said Gilda.
“I would like to have the Berry Blitz salad, please,” Fluttershy ordered.
“Hmm,” Rainbow rubbed her chin, brow furrowed, “everything here looks good. Guess I’ll go with the Sunrise Special.”
“Alright. And for you, Miss Gilda?” The waitress asked.
“Hmm, lemme double check something.” Gilda reviewed the menu in front of her. The 'Sunrise Special' was a pasta dish with tiny chunks of garlic bread squares mixed into a secret white sauce recipe and angel mane noodles. Fluttershy’s order, true to its name, was a fruity salad with blueberries, strawberries, and balsamic vinaigrette.
Her eyes just happened to glance up when she caught Fluttershy and Rainbow whispering something to each other, then Fluttershy kissing Dash on the cheek.
Gilda’s grip on the menu tightened as she fought the urge to scowl.
Let it go and be happy for them. Let. It. Go.
After a moment, and making sure no frustration was evident on her face, Gilda looked up at the waitress. “Actually, the Sunrise Special sounds pretty good. I’ll go for it.”
“Great! I’ll be back with your orders shortly.” With a small bow, the waitress collected the menus and disappeared behind the ‘employee area only’ hallway.
“Is it true you’re starting your own bakery, Gilda?” Fluttershy asked.
Gilda nodded, relieved at the change of pace. “Yeah. Pinkie’s been a huge help. Sucks I won’t be able to come out here much once I start, but at least I get to hang out with my favorite dweeb for a few days before going back.” Gilda chuckled as she dodged the complimentary mint Dash chucked at her.
“Jerk,” Rainbow kept a straight face for all of two seconds before breaking into a grin. “We’ll miss ya, but I’m sure we can try to visit you once in awhile. Right, ‘Shy?”
“Of course! I would love to have more of those ‘Gilded Scones’ you made.”
Gilda smiled. “When you two come to Griffonstone, I’ll try to save you some treats, but under one condition; you have to commission me to bake your wedding cake instead of Pinkie Pie.”
The couple paled.
Fluttershy reeled back as if Gilda revealed the biggest secret of the century. “H-how did you–” her gaze shot to the decidedly uncomfortable Dash, then down to her own hooves, her face flaming. “–um, I-I mean, Pinkie would probably be upset if we let anyone else make our w-wedding cake. B-but I’m sure we could–”
“Talk about something totally different, like all the cool things we can do while you’re still here!” Rainbow interjected, bearing a manic smile. Gilda noted her eyes deliberately avoided Fluttershy, a hint of desperation showing at the edges.
No, desperation is not quite accurate.
…Guilt?
The guilty look was a rare sight to see from Rainbow, yet her half-upset, half-scared face matched perfectly with what Gilda knew about her old friend. Jeez, I was only joking. Leave it to these two to turn a dumb joke into a landmine.
Gilda put away the thought for later as the conversation drifted towards insubstantial topics. The air from the previous conversation never left. Fluttershy acted shifty and nervous. Dash was barely able to keep up a tough front, trying to pretend the last conversation did not leave her shaken.
Just as Gilda was trying to come up with something to break the tension, the waitress returned. “Pardon the intrusion, ladies. Here is your food.”
Clutched in the waitress’s magic was a steel serving plate carrying their food. Even before the plates were placed on their table, Gilda was salivating over the spicy scent and delicious sight. Rainbow’s eyes were just as hungry, licking her lips with anticipation. Fluttershy seemed excited, though the way she rubbed her forehooves anxiously gave Gilda the odd feeling her anticipation wasn’t for the food.
“I apologize for taking so long,” the waitress bowed, “our chef tends to put so much love into his food. It’s almost as if he’s married to the dishes he creates.”
Gilda nearly missed Fluttershy freezing up, visibly. What's up with that reaction? Is she still being weird about that joke? Well I’m sure it’s probably nothing, She shrugged. “No big deal for us. As long as the food is good.”
“Yeah, no need to be all modest about it. It hasn’t even been that long,” Rainbow added with a grin.
“U-um,” Fluttershy stood out of her seat, beads of sweat rolling down her face, “you girls start without me. I’m going to go freshen up.” With a quick kiss to Rainbow’s cheek, Fluttershy hurried—more like bounded—towards the hallway and disappeared from view. The waitress left soon after bidding them to enjoy the meal. Gilda narrowed her gaze in the direction Fluttershy went.
Something weird is going on with Fluttershy. I just know it.
Her gaze drifted back to Dash, who sighed and stretched with relief. Speaking of weird…
Gilda sipped her drink, forming her next words carefully. “So Dash, things are good between you and Fluttershy?”
Dash failed to hide the shift in her tensed muscles. “Y-yeah, totally! Couldn’t ask for a better marefriend.”
Gilda frowned. “You’re a terrible liar, dweeb. Be straight with me; something’s going on, isn’t there?”
“Nothing’s going on, alright? Everything is fine!” Rainbow replied exasperatedly, and reached up to smooth her mane with a hoof.
She’s getting anxious.Whatever she’s hiding, it’s eating at her.
Gilda’s expression softened. “You know I’m not going to rat you out.”
Rainbow whimpered, glancing away. “I… it’s just… it’s complicated. I’m just being stupid.”
“Which is why you need a second opinion.” Gilda nudged her plate to the side, and leaned forward, speaking in a whisper. “Spill.”
Rainbow eyes went downcast, giving her food a listless poke.
“Keep this just between us, alright? I mean it.”
“Of course.”
Rainbow sulked. “I… I’m not sure I’m attracted to Fluttershy anymore.”
A cold feeling settled in Gilda’s veins.
Rainbow continued. “I mean, when we first started going out, things were awesome between us. Fluttershy's always treated me well, and always gives a hundred percent, even if it involves something she’s uncomfortable with. To be honest, she’s the best marefriend a girl can ask for, you know? Attentive. Sweet. Pretty. Who wouldn’t be happy with somepony like that? You would have to be a real jerk to not love somepony like that, right?”
She chuckled nervously, but her flimsy attempt at a smile melted quickly under Gilda's unimpressed stare. Rainbow settled into her chair, and gave a miserable sigh. “When she first asked me out on a date, I went with it just because I didn’t have anypony else in mind and I thought she was cool enough to date. Figured maybe we’ll go on some dates, and if worse comes to worse, we’ll try to stay friends. Y’know, kindness, loyalty, friendship, all that jazz.”
If I had to guess…
“You came into the relationship not expecting anything serious to come out of it, did you?” Gilda asked.
Rainbow nodded. “It was about three months in when she told me she loved me. I freaked out a bit and said I loved her too, without really thinking about if I did or not. Never got around to talking to her about that, and it’s been messing with my head ever since.”
“Hold up,” Gilda said, “you mean to tell me you’ve told Fluttershy you loved her for nine months and never figured out if you actually loved her?”
Rainbow looked away, guiltily. “Not saying I don’t like Fluttershy. I don’t regret going out with her at all. Well, sometimes I feel like she can be a little too, well, let’s just say soft. It’s not really a bad thing, but it’s kinda tough to be me around her without feeling like it will be too much. It probably wouldn’t feel so rough if it didn’t feel like something important was missing.”
“Something important missing?”
“Yeah. Like, in my head, I know I should be happy with Fluttershy. But in here,” Rainbow thumped her chest with a hoof, “I just don’t feel that spark, you know?”
“You want to feel excited. Alive,” Gilda guessed. “Can’t imagine you’re getting a lot of that from someone as soft as Fluttershy, no offense to her.”
Rainbow nodded, a desperate look in her gaze. “Am I just selfish? Is this just a normal thing after you’ve dated someone for about a year? I care about Fluttershy, I really do. I just… I just don’t know if I love her anymore and if it would be better for us to be friends, which scares the crap out of me. Fluttershy deserves better than that, and if things get too serious…” Rainbow trailed off.
“Considering she got you of all ponies to wear a dress to a fancy date, it's safe to assume you are in the ‘serious’ territory.” Gilda offered a sympathetic look. “It must’ve been a trip through Tartarus for you all these months.”
Rainbow gave her a frowning look. “No. No, I mean, I don’t hate it... but I do feel a bit trapped sometimes.” She sighed, her hoof sliding along the rim of her glass. “Fluttershy isn’t the type of girl you take to one of DJ Pon-3’s rave parties or go out and get hammered with, and it would be pretty messed up to leave Fluttershy to go bar hopping, so I end up staying home a lot. Do you have any idea what it’s like to get used to cabin fever?”
“Since this is you we’re talking about, probably like telling Pinkie Pie to stop smiling.”
“Exactly!”
Gilda shook her head sadly. Damn it, why didn’t you say something sooner? Come to think of it… “Have you talked to anyone else about this? Actually, aren’t you buddies with the Princess of Love or whatever?”
“Cadance? Yeah, I thought about it. She could probably tell me straight up if I do love Fluttershy or not. But then it hit me that maybe I don’t want to hear an answer from her.” Rainbow shifted uneasily. “Sounds a bit crazy, right?”
“Just a little,” Gilda admitted, “so what’s up with that?”
“Well think about it; if the Princess of Love tells me that I’m not actually in love with Fluttershy, then I have to face Fluttershy and tell her that. Don’t need Twilight’s brain to know how well that conversation will go. But if Cadance says that I do love her, it’ll feel like I have to love her because Cadance said so.”
“That makes a weird amount of sense. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t,” Gilda stopped to take a sip of her water. Its cool, refreshing simplicity played a foil to the swirling mess she saw in Rainbow's eyes. “Well, how about your other friends? That way you don’t have that ‘authority’ problem over your head.”
“I thought about talking to Rarity or Twilight, but Rarity would tell Fluttershy about five minutes afterwards… and Spike would find out and tell Rarity, so same story there. And I don’t even want to imagine how Fluttershy would feel if I just up and told her I’m not sure I love her anymore, or if I ever did. You’re the only one I feel comfortable sharing this with, Gilda.”
“Dash…” Gilda’s heart skipped a beat. Rather than go to her friends, including the Princess of Love herself, she came to her for help.
This is my chance.
Her heart rate picked up, shocked by her own thoughts.
She’s clearly not interested in Fluttershy and is suffering because of it. I could take her away from that. Give her another… perspective.
Gilda took a large gulp of water. No, I won't take advantage of Dash. It’s not about what I want, but what Dash needs, and she needs someone to help her make sense of everything.
A smile with no warmth appeared on Dash’s muzzle. “Some bearer of the Element of Loyalty I turned out to be, right? I should be the last pony in Equestria to feel like this or be afraid to talk to my friends, especially Fluttershy. But, I know if I talk to Fluttershy about this, it’s going to make her feel awful, especially when I’m still trying to figure out what’s wrong with me.”
Gilda’s talon shot forward and seized her jaw, a fiery gaze piercing into Rainbow’s surprised stare. “There is nothing wrong with you, and don’t you dare let some stupid trinket tell you otherwise.”
After a moment, Gilda released Rainbow from her clutches. The intensity in her eyes never wavered. “Look, you can’t control how you feel about someone. First time you’re dating someone? Of course you’re going to feel excited and attracted to them. It’s new. Fresh. You got the pony you wanted.
"But sometimes feelings change over time. You can’t help what you should feel, but whining about it isn’t going to do you any favors. You only got one life to live, and it should be spent being honest with yourself and facing it head on. That means talking to Fluttershy.”
Rainbow grumbled. “Yeah, I know I should talk to her about this. I just can’t stand seeing Fluttershy hurt, y’know?”
“I get it, and I’m pretty sure she will feel hurt. But you know what? Life hurts. Love hurts. The longer you put this off thinking the perfect solution will come up, the more it will hurt. You’re Rainbow freaking Dash for crying out loud; have some backbone. The first chance you get, you should just lay it all out on the table. If it works out, great. If not, at least you know now rather than later. Holding back will do nothing but make you miserable.”
“But I don’t want to… huh.” Rainbow wore a contemplative look as she propped her chin up with a hoof. For a moment, her face screwed up, as if the mere thought of whatever went through her mind made her sick.
“Yeah, waiting around and feeling sorry for myself isn’t going to fix this. I should just get it over with and talk it out. And whatever happens, I… ugh, this sucks. I don’t wanna lose Fluttershy over something like this.”
“There’s no guarantee that will happen, but no point avoiding this either. Either put up or shut up,” Gilda grinned, “and if you’re the Rainbow Dash I’ve grown up with, we both know you don’t shut up for anything.”
Rainbow chuckled, earnestly this time. “You got that right. You know what? Yeah, I can’t let something like this get me down. That’s just not cool.” She breathed a sigh relief. “I’m kinda surprised, Gilda. Honestly didn’t expect this kind of advice from you. Have you ever been through anything like this before?”
“Something like that.” Gilda took a sip of water, avoiding Rainbow’s gaze. “Buried those feelings a long time ago.” Or rather, tried to.
Rainbow perked up. “Whoa, seriously? Damn, can’t believe I’ve never noticed you going through anything like that as long as I’ve known you. Could’ve came to me for at least a pep talk or something. You know I would’ve tried to help.”
Gilda smiled wryly. “You’re not the only who sucks with being honest sometimes. Besides, we… weren’t exactly on speaking terms some of those times.”
Rainbow winced. “True, but that whole thing when you first came to Ponyville was a long time ago. I’m just glad I got you back.”
Gilda held her glass towards Rainbow. “That makes two of us.” With a wide grin, Rainbow picked up her own glass and tapped it against Gilda’s.
“Phew, I feel loads better after that. Thanks for hearing me out, Gilda.”
“That’s what friends are for, Dash,” Gilda smiled at her childhood friend. A small part of her relished being able to do something for Dash that Fluttershy couldn’t.
The moment of relief turned to solemn contemplation as Rainbow averted her gaze, taking interest in her glass of water. “Sometimes, I wish Fluttershy could be a little more like…” She trailed off and went for her glass of water.
Gilda hummed thoughtfully. Though Rainbow was by no means an idiot, to see her so deep in thought rubbed her the wrong way. Thankfully that last comment gave Gilda the perfect excuse to throw in a joke. “Me?”
Rainbow choked on her drink, wide-eyed.
“It’s a joke, doofus. Calm down,” Gilda scoffed. Jeez, do you have to rub it in that it’s a bad idea?
“R-right. Of course you would think that, Bird brain,” Rainbow laughed.
Gilda was prepared to fire off a snappy response when she caught sight of a few patrons whispering among themselves and pointing towards the restrooms, mild concern on their faces. She followed their gaze to the corridor Fluttershy disappeared into, only to find the pegasus in question at the entry point.
Gilda recalled only one point in her life she’d seen a pony look that petrified, and that was the first time she and Fluttershy met. Had she not blinked, Gilda would have easily mistaken her for a lifelike statue.
It wasn’t long until Rainbow mimicked Gilda and found Fluttershy. “There you are! What took ya so long?” She called over. Fluttershy gulped and moved forward with robotic steps, every movement as if her limbs were made of lead. Concern washed over Rainbow. “Hey ‘Shy, you alright?”
Though also concerned, something about Fluttershy’s behavior hinted at a set-up. “Pretty sure she wasn’t this nervous when we first walked in here.”
“Yeah, something must’ve happened.” Rainbow got out of her chair and met Fluttershy halfway. Gilda followed shortly after, instincts flaring. No doubt Fluttershy was up to something.
The moment Rainbow caught up to her she lifted up Fluttershy’s chin so their eyes could meet. “Talk to me, ‘Shy. What’s wrong?”
After a few seconds, Fluttershy’s expression transformed to one of determination. Whatever she was up to, Gilda guessed she was about to commit to it.
“Nothing’s wrong, Dashie. I-It’s the complete opposite, in fact,” Fluttershy moved Rainbow’s hoof from her chin and didn’t let go. “I’ve… I’ve never been happier, and it’s all thanks to you.”
“S-shy?” Rainbow swallowed hard, flushed.
Dread and anticipation swelled in Gilda’s chest as she watched.
“Dashie, this last year we’ve been together has opened my eyes. Never before have I felt this strong or happy around another pony. Everytime I wake up in the morning and see your wonderful smile, it always feels like my heart will jump out of my chest any moment. E-even now, together like this…”
Fluttershy moved Dash’s hoof to her chest. Rainbow’s eyes grew a little wider.
This pulled an ‘awww’ from the audience. Gilda stifled a growl.
“You feel that, Dash? This is how you’ve made me feel everytime we’re together, ever since we became friends. I… I love everything about you. How true and honest you are to me and yourself. How confident and encouraging you can be. How beautiful and powerful you are. How you never give up on anything or anypony no matter how tough times get. I could probably go on all day, a-and knowing you, you would encourage it.”
Fluttershy giggled awkwardly, eliciting a laugh from the audience. Gilda didn't laugh, and her muscles were tense.
Fluttershy continued. “I’ve… I’ve decided that if there was ever a pony in all of Equestria I could spend the rest of my life with, that pony is you. There is nopony who could ever take your place in my heart, a-and I hope you feel the same way about me.”
Tucked under her wing, Fluttershy pulled out a small black box. Tension filled the room as she opened it before Rainbow, revealing a gold ring with a crystal clear gemstone that sparkled in the light.
“Rainbow Dash, will you marry me?”
The silence from the rest of the ‘audience’ spoke for itself, Gilda included.
This time Rainbow was the lifelike statue, jaw dropped and eyes wide as plates. Strangled, unintelligible words left Rainbow’s lungs as if she forgot how to form words. Gilda, still in shock, was positive Rainbow forgot how to speak. Or move. Possibly even breathe.
After seconds of eternal silence and shock, Rainbow spoke, her words strained and raspy.
“I-I… think I misheard you, Fluttershy. Could you run that by me again?”
“I asked if you would marry me, Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy spoke easier this time, though tension and anxiety still hung with every word.
Rainbow broke out into a sweat, as did Gilda. The question hung in the air like a gullintone. Their previous conversation brought a terrifying question to Gilda’s mind: Would Rainbow actually say yes out of pressure?
Gilda’s talons curled into tight fists.
Rainbow gulped, her unfocused gaze fighting to look anywhere but at Fluttershy or the wing. Fluttershy, though concerned, waited with the patience of a saint. “Wow. I, uh, just wow. Don’t know what to say, ‘Shy.”
“How about yes?” Fluttershy giggled. Her attempt to brighten the mood failed, though Gilda gave her points for trying. Rainbow’s extended hesitation made her crestfallen. “O-of course, if you don’t want to marry me…”
Rainbow gasped. “No, no, that’s not it! I just, I mean, this just kinda took me by surprise.”
Fluttershy brightened up again, full of hope. “Does that mean you accept my proposal?”
“I-I-I, erm, not saying I don’t want to, just… er…”
“Which is it, Dash?” Fluttershy pressed. Had Gilda been in Fluttershy’s horseshoes, she might have strangled Dash by now with her indecisiveness. Heck, Gilda herself was ready to scream at her.
“Uh… um…!” Rainbow’s eyes swept around as if the answer hid in plain sight. When her gaze connected with Gilda, only for an instant, she caught on to her silent plea for guidance.
Gilda knew she couldn’t be obvious; she wasn’t crazy enough to openly intervene on their moment. Her thoughts went to the previous conversation. Saying ‘yes’ was out of the question. That left...
Tell her no.
Gilda’s heart quickened.
That’s her only answer, isn’t it? Fluttershy doesn’t have what it takes to keep Dash happy. She can’t make Dash happy like I can.
Gilda gasped. No, this isn’t about what I… She ran a shaky talon through her feathered hair. This… this is Dash’s choice to make. Yes isn’t the right answer here, but saying no outright would be cruel for both of them. Agh, damn you, Fluttershy. If only Dash had more time to...
An idea popped in Gilda’s mind. Gilda turned to the closest pony, an older grey stallion who gawked at the scene like a romance movie entering a climax. “Hey old guy, you got the time?”
The stallion snapped his attention to Gilda, surprised. “Time? I believe it’s half past noon, Miss.”
Rainbow’s ear twitched. Then her eyes lit up. “Time! I need time!” she nearly shouted.
Fluttershy blinked, looking at Dash like she was talking another language. “Time?”
Rainbow nodded her head, significantly less panicked than a minute ago. “Y-yeah. I just, well, this is a really big deal to think it through. You know me, ‘Shy. You know I’m not much of a ‘think it through’ kind of pony, but this… this will change everything. So I just need to let it all sink in first, alright?”
Fluttershy’s lips formed a thin line, eyebrows creased.
Rainbow gulped as she continued. “I know, I’m being really lame right now. If I was a better pony I would have that answer ready and waiting for you. But I do want to talk about it; not here, though.” Her voice softened, pleading. “I swear I’ll make it up to you, but I really want to think on this and talk about later. Please?”
Fluttershy held her expression a bit longer before sighing. “Okay, Dash. I really would like an answer, but I appreciate you taking this seriously rather than saying yes just because I want this. In that case, how about we discuss this tomorrow over tea?”
“S-sure thing! Thanks for understanding, ‘Shy!”
Fluttershy flushed. “O-of course, Dashie. I’d be a terrible marefriend if I didn’t at least try to understand. U-um, you still love me, right? I-I mean, n-not trying to say you don’t, but I just, u-um...”
Rainbow moved closer to Fluttershy and tilted her chin so their eyes met. Then she pressed her muzzle against hers, softly. Then pulled back shortly after the kiss and smiled. “Do you even need to ask? Of course I still love you, silly.”
A few ‘awww’s echoed among the audience at the sweet scene. Despite the churning in her stomach at the sight of them kissing, Gilda smiled, pleased with herself.
Atta girl, Dash. Heh, what would you do without me?
A nauseous feeling struck her.
Huh. What would Dash have done without me?
Voices in the background faded. A lump of ice dropped in her gut.
Would she have said yes? She did promise to talk with Fluttershy about it tomorrow. What if she changes her mind and lets this whole ‘Element of Loyalty’ nonsense trap her in a one-sided marriage?
Exhaustion drained at her energy. Her appetite disappeared.
Gilda cleared her throat to catch the couple’s attention, wiping a bead of sweat from her forehead and the discomfort out of her face. “Looks like you two could use some alone time, so I’m gonna head out.”
Rainbow frowned with concern. “Are you sure? I told you I would cover your check.”
“Nah, I’ll… I’ll just take a raincheck. Let’s hang out again soon. Later!” Gilda hurried off before Rainbow had a chance to protest. She made her way past the surprised waiter, double door, and took off into the air as soon as she had room to spread her wings.
Gilda scowled, unable to ignore the stinging in her wet eyes.
After hours of tossing and turning, cocooned in her thin white bed sheets, Gilda gave up on any possibility of sleeping.
Through the crack of the blinds, Luna’s moon taunted her with the false promise of sweet dreams that refused to reach her. Too exhausted from the events this afternoon to do anything to blow off steam, yet too frustrated to do anything other than lie in bed, Gilda found herself at an impasse, helpless to do anything other than stare emptily out the window of her hotel room.
“I should’ve seen this coming a mile away,” Gilda grimaced. “Damn you, Fluttershy. Can’t you see what you’re putting Dash through? Why in Tartarus am I doing your job?”
Gilda tossed again, facing the brown dresser in the otherwise bare bedroom, save for the mirror that captured the face of a depressed griffon.
“That’s not fair. Of course Rainbow wouldn’t make it obvious in front of Fluttershy. Besides, Rainbow is a grown adult and this is her choice to make. I just hope she makes the honest choice rather than blaming her choice on pressure or that damn Element of Harmony.”
With a sigh she sat up, eyes fixated on the object atop her black nightstand. She grabbed it and positioned it in the moonlight. Encased in glass and brass frame was the picture of a griffon and pegasus. Happy. Young. Arm and leg slung around each other. Little did they know one of them would be pressured into a marriage they shouldn’t be in, and the other having feelings and thoughts that shouldn’t exist.
Gilda blinked back tears, refusing to shed them. “If Fluttershy screws this up, then I will find Dash and—”
A loud knock from the front door shocked Gilda out of her thoughts. She glanced at the clock; quarter after two in the morning.
On any other day, she would have ignored the knock and went back to sleep. But tonight, restless and irritated, Gilda was in the mood to greet this surprise guest and treat them to a knuckle sandwich.
In a huff, she hopped off the bed and stomped out of the room, past the living room, and to the door. She rolled her shoulders and cracked her knuckles. Whoever this was, they were about to have a crash course on why disturbing a griffon’s rest was a bad idea.
Gilda opened the door, chest swelled as she drew in air and opened her mouth to–
“‘Sup, Gilda!”
–cough abruptly, gaping at the disheveled pegasus before her.
Rainbow’s mane was a mess, eyes bloodshot, and her coat unkempt and stained with dried sweat. The nervous grin and haggard disposition was more than a little unsettling.
Common sense would be to let the clearly desperate pony inside to talk. Still in shock, Gilda could do no other than ask the obvious. “What in the world happened to you?”
“Wha, me? I-I’m totally fine. Just, you know, flying, thinking, more flying, more thinking, a little freaking out here and there but nothing too big...”
Biggest damn lie of the century. Gilda thought as she listened to her frantic friend explain herself.
“So anyway, figured I could drop by and talk about it with one of my bestest friends?” Rainbow’s twitchy and way too wide grin did awful things to Gilda’s heart. There was no mistaking how miserable Rainbow was, and again, seeking help.
Gilda sighed and stepped to the side. “Get in, take a shower, and get settled on the couch. I’ll get us something to drink to help us–err, you–to calm down. Bathroom is first door to the left in the hall.”
“Sweet! Thanks, Gilda!” Rainbow hurried inside and went straight for the shower. Locking the front door, Gilda took a moment to lean against the door and facepalm.
“Of course Rainbow would show up, because clearly this night couldn’t get any more stressful. What could possibly go wrong, right?” Gilda chuckled humorlessly. Knowing there was no point in sulking about her luck tonight, Gilda moved to the white and black tiled kitchen and made for the fridge.
Because her stay was meant to be brief, there was little food in the fridge outside instant noodles and components for sandwiches. The drink in question was a pitcher of iced tea. Her talon was halfway towards the handle when her eyes moved to the item next to the pitcher: an uncorked bottle of red wine. She paused.
Well, that would be better for calming someone down. At this point I’m sure we could both use a good drink. Gilda grabbed the bottle instead.
The drink was purchased recently to celebrate the start of her bakery business the night before she left Equestria. While not opposed to a casual drink to help overcome a stressful day, the fact she would be drinking with a distressed Rainbow Dash brought a troubling thought to Gilda’s mind as she pulled out two wine glasses from the nearby wooden cabinet.
Late night. Hot friend comes over to relieve stress, and now I’m trying to calm her down with alcohol? If Dash was single, this would be a perfect set up to make a move.
Though with her having trouble with Fluttershy...
Gilda shook her head furiously, blushing hard. I’m only doing this to help us calm down. Nothing more. She took a deep breath and prepared the drinks.
Nothing more…
By the time Rainbow came out of the bathroom, cleaned up and looking markedly better than earlier, Gilda waited for her at the couch, two already filled glasses and the bottle waiting on the small, rectangular table. Rainbow took her seat next to Gilda, raising an eyebrow at the bottle.
“Transylmanian Blood Wine, huh? Bringing out the big guns, I see,” Rainbow chuckled.
Gilda rolled her eyes. “Just shut up and drink it. Slowly. This should help take some edge off.” She placed a talon on Dash’s shoulder, her smile faded marginally to one of concern. “Talk when you’re ready, alright?”
Rainbow’s mood sombered as she nodded, and muttered thanks before partaking in the wine. Gilda soon after started drinking as well. The wine went down smooth, a sweet flavor which carried some bite in the aftertaste. As instructed, Rainbow was careful with her sips, no doubt feeling the warmth of the alcohol flow through her like it did for Gilda. The only sounds exchanged between them was the pouring of more wine and movement of glass to and from the table.
Gilda drank her glass as slow as possible. Rainbow always finished first. The last thing she wanted was to get Rainbow drunk, so she set the pace by filling both glasses only after both were done with their round, going so far as to move the bottle away from Dash whenever she tried to grab for it. If there was a bright side to be had, at least Gilda was far more comfortable and relaxed now than she was before Rainbow came to her door.
Still, there was no avoiding the nervousness in her stomach as she watched Rainbow stare down her glass for what seemed like an eternity. A sad smile found its way to Gilda’s beak.
Looks like we’re both at our limits tonight.
It was after their third glass Rainbow broke the silence.
“That was one hay of a proposal, right? Who woulda thought Fluttershy had it in her.”
“I could tell she was up to something. Kinda obvious now that I think about it.”
“Knowing I'm gonna have to come clean tomorrow keeps freaking me out. I can't sleep. I can barely think. I still haven’t figured things out, and knowing now that Fluttershy is thinking about marriage, I just know saying anything other than yes next time is going to destroy her.”
A tear streaked down her cheek. “After such an awesome proposal, I can’t imagine her being anywhere near okay with me talking about not feeling attracted to her, but you’re right that I have to say something. I don't know what to do, and I don’t know how long I can take feeling like this.”
Gilda knew there was plenty of advice she could give Rainbow. How now was the best time to tell Fluttershy what she was going through. Reason out her feelings and take things a step at a time. Sleep it off and mull over her feelings in the morning. There were numerous ways she could help Dash overcome her feeling of being trapped, just like how she talked to her at the restaurant.
Instead, without a word, Gilda scooped Rainbow into a tight embrace.
Rainbow gasped, then after a few seconds settled into the hug, stuffing her face into the crook of Gilda’s neck. Her body shook, unable to repress her choked sobs. Her talons tenderly stroked the back of her neck.
I don’t know if I have the answer she needs this time, Gilda admitted, but I’ll do whatever it takes to help make her world feel right again.
Gilda pulled back. With a soft smile, she gently wiped away Dash’s tears. Dash stared back as she let Gilda take care of her, flushed, wearing an unreadable expression.
Something inside Gilda shifted as she gazed into her eyes. A flame once buried in her chest sparked to life. Seconds ticked by as she relished this feeling, ignorant of the sinister temptations as her thumbs brushed Dash’s cheek.
Whatever it takes.
Gilda stood up and grasped Dash’s hoof.
“Come with me,” she commanded in a whisper.
Dash, still in a daze, blinked owlishly. “Gilda? Is… everything alright?”
Gilda nodded. “It’s going to be hard for you to figure this out while you’re pent up. I’ll help you relax.”
Hoof still clutched in her talon, Gilda pulled Dash into the bedroom. She pointed to the mattress. “Go ahead and sit.”
Snapped out of her daze, Dash flushed. “W-what are you…”
Gilda chuckled and shook her head. “Think back to flight camp. Remember how our instructors taught us to help each other whenever we were tense?”
Dash hesitated, eyes bouncing between Gilda and the mattress. After a few moments her eyes lit up. “O-oh! Okay, I remember now. Stretch assist?”
“Stretch assist,” Gilda confirmed. Dash climbed on her bed and sat on her haunches. Gilda followed pace and took a seat behind her. Once Dash gave the nod, Gilda placed her talons on her shoulders and went to work.
Dash released a breathy sigh as Gilda kneaded the wound up muscles on her shoulders and back. With each knot of muscle found, Gilda worked at it until she could feel it loosen. A shudder left Dash as Gilda made her way to the wings.
“Oh yeah, that’s the stuff,” Dash muttered. With every firm touch, her wing unfurled inch by inch until they were on full display.
Gilda smiled to herself, thinking back to better times. “This is just like that time you crashed into a tree way back when because you exhausted yourself. I had to take care of you for a week.”
“Hey, I apologized about that. Besides, it was worth it to win that race.”
“You would say that,” Gilda rolled her eyes. Recalling another detail, a mischievous grin appeared on her beak. “I wonder if this still works.”
“If what still—ah!” A sharp moan escaped Rainbow’s lungs as Gilda squeezed a sensitive muscle in her lower back. She threw a glare over her shoulder, face completely red. “J-jerk!”
Gilda laughed. “Only wanted to mess with you. Well, that and see if you still scream like a filly.”
“Hmph. Well, when it’s my turn to give you a stretch assist, we’ll see who screams like a little girl.”
“Whatever you say, Dash.”
Gilda’s thoughts drifted as she continued her ministrations, the two falling into a comfortable silence.
After tonight, Dash would go back to Fluttershy, faced with a decision Gilda would not be able to help her with. This had to be a conscious choice for Rainbow to make, and Gilda could not allow her biased feelings to guide Dash to make a dishonest judgement call.
Still, a selfish part of her wanted to have her moment with Rainbow one last time. To relive good memories. Share a laugh. Have a good time with an old friend.
Much as she hated to admit it, to also satisfy her own indulgences while she had the opportunity.
Just a little longer.
Gilda shut her eyes. Her touches more of a caress than a massage.
I want to have Dash for myself just a little longer.
Dash leaned towards Gilda until her back pressed against chest. She craned her head and looked up at Gilda, smiling. “Thanks for everything, Gilda.”
“Dash…” A cold sensation sank deep in Gilda’s chest as their eyes met.
If it wasn’t for Fluttershy, they wouldn’t have to go through this. Rainbow would not be here, wallowing in indecision or guilt. Gilda would not have to her feelings bottled up.
Any other time, Gilda would have told Dash how she’d always felt about her. Why she came to Ponyville to see her. What drove her into a jealous rage and started the mess which nearly destroyed their friendship forever.
A perfect chance to tell Dash how much she loved her, gone.
“You deserve better than her.”
Both stared at each other with wide eyes. Dash blinked rapidly, shocked. “What?”
Gilda’s mouth moved, but words failed to reach her, terrified. Oh no. No, no, no! Why? Why did I say that?
“Gilda, where did that come from?” When she did not get an answer, Dash turned her body around and held Gilda’s shoulders. “Hey, are you going to be okay?”
Gilda dropped her gaze. Her heart raced a mile a minute. Damn, I got way too complacent.
No. I’ve held back long enough. I… I need to do this.
“Rainbow,” Gilda whispered, “do you think you could truly love Fluttershy?”
“I…” Dash paused, confusion and guilt flickering in her eyes. “I… think so? I mean, I’ve said I loved her so many times before. But now? I don’t know. I should love her. She hasn’t done anything wrong, but I don’t know what I’m feeling anymore.”
Am I really going to let Dash marry Fluttershy like this? Fluttershy doesn’t deserve her.
Gilda gasped, chilled by her own thoughts.
No, I can't think like that. It’s not my place to say what’s best for Dash.
But if I let her marry Fluttershy, she'll regret it. Fluttershy can't do for her what I can.
Stop being so selfish! I’m supposed to help her figure things out! Get your act together!
Ignorant of the war raging within Gilda, Dash gave her a light shake on the shoulder. “Gilda? You’re acting kinda weird. What’s wrong?”
Gilda finally looked up, only for her eyes to dart away. The concern in Dash’s gaze was too much for her heart to handle. “Sorry. Still a little cranky since it’s so late.”
“You’re gonna have to lie better than that. Something’s obviously eating at you. What is it?”
Distress gave way to irritation as Gilda straighten herself up and faced Dash. “Like I said, I’m just cranky, not to mention worried about you.”
“Gilda, you’re always cranky. And just a minute ago you were acting really,” Rainbow paused to search for a word, “intense. Look, you’ve heard me vomit my feelings all day. I think it’s about time I looked out for you, so spill.”
“I said everything is fine. Just drop it, alright?”
Gilda mentally facepalmed at herself. Now I’m in for it.
“No, Gilda. I know when you need to get something off your chest, and it’ll put both of us at ease if you just say it.” Dash’s features softened. “You trust me, right?”
Her gaze narrowed, barely able to restrain her anger. “I do trust you! I just–”
“Then stop stalling and just tell me what’s wrong!”
Gilda closed her eyes and said nothing. She tried to find something to take the heat off herself. Surely there were plenty of excuses she could make. However, her exhausted and tired mind could only point her to one direction.
Just tell her.
Take her away from Fluttershy.
You can give Dash what Fluttershy can’t.
“Gilda…” frustration was evident in Dash’s tone. “You were the one telling me to be honest with my feelings earlier! Don’t be a hypocrite!”
Rage flared behind Gilda’s gaze as she snapped.
“I’m envious of Fluttershy! There, happy now?!”
The room grew unbearably silent. Gilda averted her gaze, body still shaking with anger. There was no point in trying to pretend everything would be okay between them now. Nothing to gain from hiding it any longer.
Her moment of fury faded, leaving her empty. Defeated. Now that Dash knew the truth, things would get awkward between them. Gilda could no longer be the friend Dash needed. It was over.
“Use the bed and rest up. I’ll… I’ll take the couch,” Gilda said, her voice hollow. She maneuvered away from Dash and made for the living room.
“Let’s talk.”
Gilda stopped just outside the bedroom. There was something different in Rainbow’s tone. Calm, perhaps too much so. She didn’t dare look back.
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“I’m not going to judge or hate you, Gilda. I just want to talk. Please?”
Gilda grimaced. This… is a bad idea. A very bad idea. What in the world could she possibly want to talk about?
Even still…
Gilda swallowed hard, heart hammering against her chest as she turned around. Rainbow smiled nervously as she padded the spot at the edge of the bed, her muzzle notably flushed.
“Uh, s-sure.” Gilda closed the door and also sat on her haunches, inches away from touching shoulders. Her gaze fell to her talons, unable to look Rainbow in the eye. What scant glances she attempted revealed Rainbow had a similar issue, eyes glued to her own twiddling hooves.
“Gilda, you...” A pause. “So all this time. I mean, even at the restaurant… then all that stuff earlier…” Another pause. “So, uh, w-were you serious about what you said?”
Gilda crossed her arms, gripped with anxiety. Despite instincts screaming at her to abandon this decision, she hummed in agreement.
Rainbow drew in a shaky breath. "Al... alright. So..." She stopped abruptly, squeezing her eyes shut, then opened them a few seconds later. Gilda could hear her audibly swallowing hard. "I-I'm not the... not really good at this. Yeah. N-Not good. But... look, we need to be on the same page here, or we're not going anywhere. So... you've got feelings for me, huh?"
Gilda fought down the irrational, defensive retort burning in her throat, and squeezed her arms, unable to do much other than nod. Yeah, yeah, I get it; dumb little bird crushing on the great Rainbow Dash. She groaned inwardly. Damn it, I deserve to let her hold it over my head like a freakin’ trophy. Should've known telling her was a bad—
She jumped at the hoof settled on her leg, eyes shooting to Rainbow in shock.
“I want to hear you say it,” Rainbow said softly, almost pleading. “How do you really feel about me, Gilda?”
An invisible vice constricted Gilda’s lungs, heart pounding like drums in her ears.
There is no going back.
Gilda rested a talon on top the hoof and faced Rainbow. “I’ve liked you for awhile now. I kept quiet so I wouldn’t mess things up again or make it awkward between you and Fluttershy.”
There was a twinkle in Rainbow’s gaze, the crimson on her muzzle intensified. Somehow, that mystified look was just as terrifying as the confession itself.
“So, earlier at the restaurant, when you said you knew what it was like to be bad at being honest, this is what you meant?”
“Yeah. I’d already messed up once when I acted like a brat with your friends before. After patching things up with them and finally being friends with you again, the last thing I wanted was to let my selfishness get the better of me.” Too little, too late for that now.
Dash nodded thoughtfully. “So all of this about the wine, the stretch assist, that weird mood you’ve been in most of the night…” Then a sly grin appeared on her face. “Some part of you wanted to seduce me, didn’t it?”
Gilda choked. “Wha-no! I really did want to help you calm down! I would never take advantage of you like that!”
Dash leaned closer, sending a tingling sensation down Gilda’s back. Their shoulders touched. “Let’s… be honest with each other for a minute. The moment you hugged me, when I caught that look in your eye, I knew something was off. Not saying you intended to take advantage of me; you’re better than that. But you can’t tell me there wasn’t some part of you that was a little tempted to take me for yourself. Deep down, if you could, you would steal me from Fluttershy and never let go. Am I wrong?”
“I...well, you’re not wrong. I did feel tempted at points,” Gilda admitted, “but I had no plan to let myself fall for it. I just want you to be happy, Dash, no matter who you’re with.”
“I wonder…” Rainbow’s eyes lowered. Her wing slipped behind Gilda’s back. “if you had a chance to steal me from Fluttershy and get away with it, would you do it?”
Gilda’s eyes went wide.
“T-that is…” Gilda struggled to find her voice.
What does that even mean? How do I even answer that without looking like even more of a homewrecker?
An even deeper meaning of the question took root in Gilda’s mind, taking her breath away.
Why would she ask that question… if she didn’t have some interest in me?
And when did this room get so hot all of a sudden?
“Well?” Rainbow pressed. Her wings slowly unfurled. She leaned closer with anticipation.
She is getting way too excited about this.
Wait a minute. This whole conversation. Is Dash seriously...
“H-hold on a second!” Gilda raised her talons. “Why are you even asking that? When did you even start getting interested in griffons?”
Yeah, let’s ask the really important questions. Not ask about stuff like, I don’t know, why in Tartarus is she hinting at cheating on Fluttershy with me?!
“I was just wondering, is all. And as for griffons, w-well…” her coat shifted into a light shade of red. “I-it’s kind of your fault I got curious about griffons.”
Gilda’s mind slammed into a halt. “What?”
“I mean, I’d noticed that kind of thing since we first started hanging out back at flight camp. I-I always liked how it felt to be touched with those talons whenever we did the stretch assists. The way you can just dig into those muscles no hoof could ever reach. Then I started thinking about how strong those thick wings were, and what it would be like to kiss a beak instead of a muzzle and I just wanna–”
Rainbow cut herself short, blushing hard. “S-sorry. I probably sound like a weirdo, huh?”
“Not the word I would use, honestly,” Gilda flushed, lost between horribly mortified and incredibly hot and bothered.
“It’s not to say I only thought about the feather-ruffling with you, though. I’ve… I’ve always liked how tough you were, and you never pulled any punches with me. Felt like you could handle anything I threw at you and come back at me just as strong. You’ve challenged me in a lot of ways, and I kinda, sorta, possibly had a tiny crush on you for awhile.”
“O-oh. I see.” The knowledge that Rainbow also felt attracted to her was just as much terrifying as it was invigorating. This would be perfect if it wasn’t for one, small, yellow and pink detail…
“For me,” Gilda started, “it was never about the physical. I mean, if it wasn’t for you, I probably wouldn’t even think twice about ponies. You stuck your neck out for some no-name griffon who didn’t have any friends. You’ve always made me feel like I was worth something back then.”
Against her better judgement, Gilda cupped Dash’s cheek with a talon, smiling softly. Rainbow simply stared back, hanging onto every word.
“I never stopped thinking about you, even when we had that falling out because I was being a jealous idiot. You were always so passionate in everything you did. Pushed for every inch. Fought tooth and hoof for all of your victories. You even became a freakin’ Wonderbolt like you always wanted to be and just… damn it, Dash, how could I not fall in love with someone as amazing as you?”
Rainbow answered her with a kiss.
Gilda froze, mentally reeling from the forceful kiss. All of her best dreams and worst nightmares came to life before her eyes.
Dash must have realized the same thing, because she darted back as if she'd tasted lava. Both were rendered breathless. Flushed. Terrified.
“Oh. Oh gosh, did I just…” Dash’s breathing picked up, eyes wide with panic. “I’m so sorry, Gilda! I don’t know what came over me! I mean, it’s just you and… this whole conversation and–”
Rainbow gasped as Gilda leaned in and began kissing her with reckless abandon.
Her hoof shot up to Gilda’s chest as she was pushed onto the mattress, a token resistance that faltered the moment her tongue was captured by Gilda’s own. Talons snaked their way towards her mane, a light tug which pulled a moan out of Rainbow.
Dash flipped Gilda on her back and pressed for the attack, hooves and tongue roaming without restraint or mercy. A guttural, pleasured growl ripped from Gilda’s throat as returned Dash’s passion with equal fervor.
Sleep would not come easy for them tonight.
The bed was cold.
Gilda grumbled as Celestia’s sun beamed down her face and refused to let up. She tossed to face away from the window, immediately followed by a pained groan from the aches in her joints and wings.
Ugh, I feel like crap.
She grasped at the bed for sheets to pull over herself, only to touch bare bed fabric. Another groan, this time opening her eyes and rubbing the sleep out of them. Her bedsheets were thrust to the corner of the room, her only clue as to why were the claw gashes on the bed. She blinked, working her mind to piece the clues together.
Was I that wild in my sleep? What did I…
Images flashed in her mind. Rainbow Dash and her. Beak to muzzle. Chest to chest. Tongues locked in a war for dominance. Tackling Dash onto the mattress, and then—
Gilda shot up from the bed with a gasp, talons clutching at her chest.
Did Dash and I seriously— no, don’t be absurd. That was just a dream. Had to be. Dash would never—
Gilda’s gaze fell to the talon on her chest. Her blood froze.
Exposed underneath her brown fur was a cyan feather.
She fell to the side and curled into a fetal position, wracked with guilt as memories of last night flooded her mind.
Rainbow trusted me. She came to me for help.
Her eyes squeezed shut, unable to stop the stinging tears.
Yet I took advantage of that and caved. I’ve ruined what we had.
I’m the worst.
After a few minutes of quiet sobbing, she drew herself up. The first thing her blurry eyes caught sight of was the picture on the nightstand; her and Rainbow. A hot, piercing sensation went through her chest.
I… I can’t let it end like this. I have to find Dash and make things right, at least apologize.
Even if this is the end between us.
There’s only one thing to do, isn’t there?
Urgency coiled in her tired muscles as she sprung out of bed, made sure to get rid of all further traces of debauchery caught in her fur and feathers she could find, then made for the exit.
Halfway towards the exit, in the living room, Rainbow Dash sat on the couch.
The sudden halt made Gilda catch herself mid-stumble. “Dash! I, um...I-I…” Words refused to reach her, anxiety strangling her voice.
Dash simply looked at her and smiled as if Gilda’s world was not crumbling before her eyes. “Took you long enough to wake up, Bird brain.”
“Wha… a-are you...huh?” Gilda shook herself out of her stunned state. Am I losing it? How in the world could she look so calm after everything that happened?
Rainbow rubbed at her neck, a mild flush in her cheeks. “Um, I made us coffee. Thought I made it a little too early, but it should still be hot if you want some while we talk about, well, y’know…”
Gilda released the breath she didn’t realize she held. Despite promises of an imminent and cringy conversation, knowledge that Rainbow also wanted to talk about it set her somewhat at ease.
She returned Dash’s shy smile with her own. “Sure. Thanks.” Gilda followed Rainbow into the kitchen.
As promised, two mugs of hot coffee sat on the dining room table. They took their seats across from each other. Not a word was exchanged between them for awhile. Gilda knew why, and had a feeling Dash felt the same.
At the moment, they were simply best friends sharing a quiet moment over coffee. Once the conversation started, their friendship would be put into question. It was possible they would no longer be friends after this conversation, to which Gilda could not blame Dash for it.
Rainbow lowered her cup, a soft gaze focused on the dark liquid. It was time. “I’m going to talk to Fluttershy today. I have to tell her the truth.”
Gilda tensed. “Are you going to tell her about last night?”
Rainbow met her eyes, determination with a tinge of fear in them. “I can’t let myself run away from this. I messed up and need to come clean to Fluttershy, no matter how much it will hurt.” Her hoof trembled. “I won’t mention your name, though. I don’t want to see you and my friends fighting over something I allowed to happen.”
“We allowed to happen,” Gilda corrected. Rainbow’s eyebrows shot up. “I’m sorry about last night. All of it. I shouldn’t have let things go as far as they did.” Her talons drummed along the side of the cup. “I… couldn’t take seeing you so miserable. I gave in to temptation and… and took advantage of—"
“Gilda, stop it.” Rainbow’s eyes hardened. “You know as well as I do if I asked you to stop, you would have in a heartbeat.” Her ears drooped as she looked down. “The problem is I didn’t want to stop. It was just… the perfect setup.”
Gilda quirked an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“I’d been thinking some, uh, dirty stuff the moment you hugged me last night. When you started giving me the assist stretch, it started getting really bad. When you told me how you felt and I tried to tell myself that my heart and body belonged to Fluttershy and no one else, I got, um,” Rainbow closed her eyes, face turning bright crimson, “really excited. Like, the idea of doing something so naughty and messed up actually turned me on. Heh, I’m just the worst, aren’t I? Getting off on hurting my friends and marefriend.”
Gilda shook her head, smiling softly. “Guess that makes both of us the worst, because I wasn’t much better. In the back of my mind, I wanted to steal you away from Fluttershy and take you for myself. Yeah, part of it was because I’m selfish and biased when it comes to you, but seeing how torn up you were over Fluttershy, how trapped you felt, I wanted to, for lack of a better word, save you from her. It pissed me off to see how miserable you felt over this whole thing with Fluttershy, and I wanted to do something, anything, to make you happy.”
Gilda paused, a troubling thought entering her mind. “I… I think I had that same rush you were talking about. Trying to take you from Fluttershy was wrong, but something about the idea of taking you for myself just felt so right. I fought against that feeling as hard as I could until you kissed me. From there, well, y-you know the rest.”
Rainbow's eyes brightened, as if a light bulb had gone off in her mind. “Yeah, exactly! Dang, I’m kinda glad I’m not the only one who felt it. For what it’s worth, last night was pretty amazing. I could never cut loose that much with Fluttershy without feeling like I’m going to hurt her. But you, wow, you just kept taking it, and going, and—”
“Whoa, slow down, tiger,” Gilda chuckled nervously, flushing hard, “you’re making it harder for me to remember that this is not a good thing.”
“R-right. Yeah. My bad,” Dash facehoofed, failing to hide her blush. After a moment, tears streamed down her cheeks, and her teeth gnashed together. “Fluttershy doesn’t deserve any of this. Even if I couldn’t always cut loose, she was always there whenever I needed. She always tried to understand me and did her best to support me, and I bucking ruined everything.”
That makes two of us.
Gilda looked on tensely, waiting in silence, closely watching the play of emotions on Rainbow's face. She wanted so badly to go over and wrap a wing over her back, or give her another stretch assist, or something. But she held herself back, knowing it would likely just make things even worse.
After giving Dash a quiet moment to calm down, Gilda realized a hard truth she dreaded facing. “You really did love her, didn’t you? Can’t imagine you hurting this much if you didn’t.”
Rainbow sniffed and rubbed at her eyes. “You're right. This… it sucks, just thinking about doing this to her. Every time I think about it, it just kills me that I realized it way too late.”
The two fell into uncomfortable silence.
After a few more sips, Gilda noted her cup was empty. Guess this is it then, huh? Things won’t be the same between us anymore.
Gilda sighed, breaking the tense silence. “All I want is for you to be happy, Dash. No matter what happens, or what decision you make, I just want you to know that I’ll always have your back.” She steeled herself. “That is, if you want me to.”
Rainbow smiled at her, relieved. “What are you, an idiot? I don’t have the Element of Loyalty for nothing you know! I’ll always be your friend, Gilda.” She beamed. Then after a second, doubt flickered in her eyes. “Not that it amounts to much now, considering what happened.”
Gilda did her best to ignore the somber mood, an important question burning at her lips. “What does this mean for us?”
Rainbow closed her eyes, deep in thought. “I did a lot of thinking about that this morning. I want us to still be friends. I don’t ever want that to change. Yet, I can’t deny that there really is something between us,” she gestured Gilda and herself with a hoof, “it’s not love or anything, but I'm definitely attracted to you. It’s just… there’s a lot of sorting out I’m going to have to do. I need time before I can give you a real answer.”
Gilda took in a deep breath, then nodded. “We both need time to sort things through. I’m afraid I won’t be any good to you to help with Fluttershy anymore. I won’t be able to stop myself from being biased.”
“O-oh. Yeah, that makes sense.” Rainbow deflated, flattening her ears against her head in guilt.
“D-don’t worry, though!” Gilda spoke up. “I’ll still keep in touch and check up on you. And once we get everything sorted out, let’s hang out and have a good time, just like we always did.”
A tiny smile appeared on Rainbow’s muzzle as she looked up. “I’ll do the same. So… promise?”
Gilda grinned. “Damn straight it’s a promise.”
An awkward moment passed, the knowledge they may not see each other for an extended amount of time weighing down the mood. Gilda failed to come up with anything else to add. Their eyes refused to meet.
Rainbow shifted awkwardly in her seat. “Well… guess that’s that, then. I should get going to see Fluttershy.”
“Good idea. I’ll see you out.” The two left their seats and made for the exit. As Rainbow stood outside the door, she hesitated, trembling. Rainbow refused to look at her directly, and Gilda was regrettably thankful for it.
“S-see ya later, Gilda. Thanks for always being there for me.”
“You’re welcome. Take care, Dash.”
Thick tension hung between them as Dash took off into the air, away from Gilda’s house. For the moment, away from Gilda’s life.
Locking the door, Gilda moved to her room and took a seat at the edge of her bed, empty of thought and expression. The silence unnerved her. It was only her and her thoughts now.
Her eyes flitted to the nightstand where the portrait of her and Dash rested. She grabbed the portrait, tips of her talons brushing the brass edges as she waited for that calm and uplifting feeling to come to her.
Tears fell on the portrait.
“That’s what friends are for. Right, Dash?”
Author's Note
What's up, my fellow paladins?
This was quite the beast of a one-shot to write, and not just because of the word count. It was hell of a challenge to find the right set of characters, situations, angles, themes and motivations that just felt right. I've always had a bit of a penchant for Gildash so I figured I would give it a try (shockingly, there are ships other than Flashlight I enjoy 
). A lot of the story just kind of clicked and evolved from there.
The hardest bits were definitely execution of certain scenes and characterizations; to be able to show how the conflict within Gilda crumbled bit by bit until the last wall was broken and Rainbow's plight making things all the worse. Trying to hit that right emotion and delivery of certain actions was also stressful at times and required countless revisions.
But despite the blood and tears it took to carve through this (and bless my proofreaders who have the patience of a saint to deal with the storm of chaos that is my brain) I really like how much this challenged me. As one who has been affected by cheating on the past, I had to put aside my, well, biased thoughts on the matter in a way that was sympathetic, perhaps even relatable, on some level. Hope you all enjoyed this wild and crazy one-shot; I'm quite proud of this one. 
Until next time, stay classy my paladins.
