I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. ‘Tis the business of little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death.

Thomas Paine, The Crisis, no. 1

Endearing.

Not the word that anypony would expect me to use after having faced the horrors of the Trottingham Wastes. Honestly, I still find that description lacking (mostly the words: mortifying, horrid, scary, and downright dangerous), but it does describe how I feel after everything is said and done.

Although, I'm getting ahead of myself.

I'm Rae. Rae Starlight. I was born in Stable 68 a little more than 19 years ago. Growing up in one of the only non-lethal control Stables built wasn't so bad. Well, in hindsight, it was really nothing compared to what I was about to face trotting (Scratch that, flying. Flying very, very quickly) into the Wastes.

After getting my cutie mark in the shape of an alto clef (cool right?), I got my PipBuck and was assigned to work as a performer in the "Entertainment Hall" that the Stable had.

"What is a PipBuck?" I hear you asking.

Well, a PipBuck is a device, worn on a foreleg just above the hoof, issued to every pony in a Stable when they become old enough to start work. The PipBuck can keep a constant measure of the wearer's health and even help administer healing poultices if necessary. It can also keep track of the inventory of things in your saddlepacks (no matter how large), and keep electronic versions of all manner of notes, books and maps available at a hooftap (I think I may have read that somewhere).

It was terrifying at first--well, it had been my introverted definition of terrifying at the time--but I eventually grew to enjoy entertaining ponies who had come down just to see little old me. And, you know, I actually loved to sing. I still do! But, I found that singing in front of other ponies was terrifying. Really, really, terrifying.

I keep on saying terrifying, but you, don't know why I feel that way. Since I was a little filly, I loved playing with toys or messing around on my PipBuck, or really anything that could keep my young mind off of the fact that I was inside a giant cage, buried, underground, while suffering was occurring just above my head. Usually, I tried to stay in the room that my dad and I shared. I would play games that were programmed into the maneframe of the terminal that we had. I was introverted most of the time. The mere thought of other ponies judging me didn't make me feel any more comfortable with trying to make friends and be sociable.

Growing up as the only pegasus in the entire Stable made life . . . interesting to say the least. I had friends, yes, but living in the Stable as the only one of your kind? It was somehow daunting. It gave off a feeling that would make me think that if I didn't make a good impression, the pegasi legacy would be tainted.

You could be asking yourself, "How could she be the only one of her kind if she was born in the first place? Doesn't she have parents?" and it would be a valid question. The answer to which is kind of depressing. You see, my mom was a pegasus. She had the wings to prove it (duh). But she had been quite meek since she had been born. Well, she eventually found an earth pony stallion that she loved, and she eventually got pregnant with me. When she went into labour, though, she got terribly sick and died giving birth to me.

One thing that my dad said to me while I was growing up was, "You don't need to feel bad, my little Rae of sunshine. Mom will always live on in you through the love in your heart, and the wings on your back."

Those few words proved to mean a lot after I bore witness to the Steel Rangers' slaughter of everypony in my Stable, including (but not limited to) my dad. I had to stand and watch through the crack of the door to the closet my dad had ensconced me in as he, trying to negotiate with the invaders, got a .45 calibre round lodged in his head. He had died to try to save me, and I couldn't do anything to stop it.

After seeing that, I burst out of the closet and slammed the hunk of metal (which, to my surprise, had a pony inside of it) to the floor with my hindhooves, and flew down the corridors to the atrium mezzanine. I saw the ongoing slaughter in the levels below me and I knew that it would be futile for me to try to fight back against the armour-clad assassins that had invaded my home, so I decided to cut my losses and leave.

Oh, how naive I was to think that I'd be able to survive out there easier than trying to stay in the Stable. After I burst out into the open, flying as fast as my inexperienced wings would allow me, I saw the horrors that the Griffish Isles had become. All around me were dead trees sticking up out of the barren ground. Where there happened to be any form of foliage coming out of the ground, it was dead and a rotting brown colour that only occurs when plants are dead and not coming back. I looked ahead and saw the ruins of what had once been a town. I was only on the outskirts of it, but my PipBuck didn't hesitate in telling me that the town was once called Trottingham (a fact that I didn't know at the time). This mattered little to me in my emotional state, but I still made a mental note of it. I had figured that I wasn't the only pony to figure out the name of the town.

With enough resolve to bake a cake the size of a house, I landed on the ground, which, my PipBuck informed me with a less-than-melodic clickity-click, was slightly radioactive, and started galloping as fast as I could to the town. I guess I hoped somepony would be helpful enough to eliminate the monsters attacking my home.

At the time, I didn't regret the decision, I still don't, but I won't lie and say that there weren't points along the way where I thought that I should have just stayed in there and died so nopony would have to suffer due to my decisions. Now, I realize that every decision I've made along the way, every bad experience, every time I nearly died, was totally worth it. It's made me the mare I am today. So, yes, I don't regret any of my decisions.

Because I don't regret them, I believe that you, as much as anypony else, may want to hear the story of how I got to where I am today, and what I'm going to do going forward. So, you may just want to sit down because this is going to take a while.

Author's Note

Woo-hoo! New story!

Okay, feel like I should say something meaningful. Well, this story came to fruition after reading most of Fallout: Equestria. As I was reading, these ideas kept coming to me on how I could use this wonderful world that Kkat had created to let my characters run rampant in. It was so inspiring to be reading something that was created out of a passion for something else that it made me want to create something based on it.

Now, I understand how special this universe is for many of you lovely readers, so I'll do my best to stick to the canon of the story. I also wanted to use part of Kkat's writing style (e.g. Using one word at the beginning of chapters and the humor of the main character's inner thoughts). Also, having the quotes at the beginning of chapters was not directly from Kkat's work. It was from Watership Down. Just wanted you all to know before the shitstorm of rage came from fans claiming I'm a copycat (hehe. CopyKkat)

This is going to be a long time project and I hope everyone out there enjoys!