Forbidden Book

by Cytotoxin

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 4744

Twilight Sparkle is busy, so CMC have to use self-help checkout at the library...

As the autumn chills begin to make themselves known, CMC decide to look into making their clubhouse warmer. But since everypony they could ask about it is busy, they decide to read about it in books.

But since Twilight Sparkle is busy too, and Spike`s out getting grocieries, CMC have to use self-help checkout. And by golly, they check out a lot. Maybe one book too much kind of "a lot", even...

Published 2012-07-23 08:44:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-23 08:44:01 UTC

One and only

Forbidden Book.

"Are you sure about this, Sweetie Belle?" - Scootaloo had her reservations. Come on, those were books, after all. Cool ponies didnt read. Rainbow Dash certainly didnt... Or well, she did now. This was the reason why Scootaloo was tittering in doubt instead of firmly scoffing at the idea. Applebloom was uncertain as well, though probably for different reasons. While neither of her compatriots dared to voice the accusation, Applebloom`s apprehensive attitude toward books suggested she was less then completely trusting in "fancy-schmancy education things".

"Of course Im sure! Look at us. We keep getting covered in tree sap when we dont know where to start from! I dont know about you two, but Ive had enough of that, thankyouverymuch!" - Sweetie Belle, on the other hand, was rather adamant about the idea. "Ahm not sure about this, Belle." - offered Applebloom uncertainly, - "Ah mean, ya sure have a point there an ah wouldnt miss havin sap all ovah me one bit, but... books? Cant we jus ask somepony older or sumthin?"

"Whats the problem with books? Its not like they have teeth or something." - retorted young unicorn, shaking her head indignantly - "Books dont bite! Besides, who can we ask? My sisters working and shes, er, in the zone or something and you know what that means. Dont get spotted, or you`ll get fitted." Scootaloo shuddered at that, her wings flaring involuntarily as she reared - "Oh Celestia no, not again. Never again!" Applebloom nickered. It sure was amusing to see Scootaloo all decked out in a tutu. So blushingly cute.

"Applejacks bucking apples and she already told us not to bother her for a while. And Rainbow Dashs doing some stuff up in the clouds and we cant even talk to her. So who can we ask, really?" - pressed on Sweetie Belle, smiling smugly. It felt good to have irrefutable arguments. "Well, how about Fluttershy?" - volunteered Scootaloo - "I mean, shes shy, but she`s still a pegasus, so she must know something cool and stuff."

Applebloom shook her head - "Naah, shed try to babysit us. Ahm not keen on spendinthe rest of the day at her place. Ahd go to Twilight Sparkle if ah had a question, but shes kinda busy with sumthin magical, ah heard. Applejacks been grumblin about her "wastinperfectly good apples on magic abracadabra" yesterday." Scootaloo shook her head emphatically - "Im not going anywhere near her again! She turned me into chicken last time!"

Shuddering, Sweetie Belle agreed - "And she turned me into dictionary. No, I was thinking to ask Spike to give me the books." Scootaloo interjected - "Wait, wait, wait a second. We can ask Pinkie Pie about stuff!" Applebloom fixed her with a long stare - "...Ah suppose we can do that, sure. But whos gonna explain what Pinkie Pie meant with her answer?" All of the three crusaders stared on the floor and heaved a sigh. Asking Pinkie Pie about anything was a gamble - sometimes, shed tell things straight or even clue them into some awesome things they had no idea about. But only sometimes. Rarely. Most of the time, she just told them a story about how Equestria was made - which was a colloquial name they used for any Pinkie Pie story that made no sense to anyone but the aforementioned Pinkie Pie.

After a short silence, Scootaloo looked up. "I guess wed better try your idea, Belle." - she admitted grumpily, - "I mean, its not like we have any better options. Its getting pretty cold here in the clubhouse." Applebloom nodded her assent - "Ah suppose we ought to try. Ahm not gonna get any help from Applejack nor from Big Mackintosh until the harvests over, and its gonna be freezin` by then."

___

Half an hour later, three fillies were standing in the library hall. They could hear the bubbling and hissing and all kind of strange arcane sounds from behind the door to the cellar. The door, that had been adorned with rather boldly stenciled sign - "Do not enter! Magical experimentation in progress! Leave all correspondence to Twilight Sparkle in the box labeled In, please." That sign they were quite fine with. However, the note on the door filled them with dismay. It read - "Will be back soon. If you need to borrow a book, please wait or use self-help counter. Spike. P.S. If youre Twilight Sparkle, Im getting groceries and certainly not staring longingly through the windows of certain boutique that I shall not name. Nyah!"

"..Well, self-help desk it is, then." - finally offered Sweetie Belle as she looked around - "Alright, ladies. Split up and find every book about making things hot!" Scootaloo and Applebloom saluted and scampered off into different directions, leaving Sweetie Belle to take care of the second floor books. Soon enough, they gathered near the checkout station, each bearing a stack of books taller then she was. Putting their loads together into one pile, fillies stared on the self-help counter with trepidation. Neither knew how to use it. Thankfully, some instructions were posted on top of it.

"Come on. Lets just take the books. Well bring them back later, wont we?" - offered Scootaloo, as she tapped her hooves impatiently. "Ah think thatll be stealin, Scootaloo. Even if we mean to bring them back." - offered Applebloom apprehensively as she helped Sweetie Belle to look through the file cabinet, - "Do ya fancy tickin off Twilight? She just might turn ya into chicken forever, yanno." Suppressing a violent shudder, Scootaloo hopped up and dove into the file cabinet, rifling through the records feverishly. "Storm Rider, Stumpy Log, Summer Sky, Summer Snow... er, weird name, nope, nope, nope, Sweat Runner, huh, Sweet Flank, er, what?... Sweet Moves, Sweet Roll, Sweetie Belle, Sword Singer, ... Er, wait... Here it is!" - she muttered, as she finally pulled out Sweetie Belle`s library card out of cabinet.

Fillies heaved a collective sigh of relief. Now they could do their business. Sweetie Belle gingerly plucked the card out of Scootaloo`s mouth and levitated it over to the counter, smoothing it out with her hooves. After a certain lesson on the proper use of word care, she was very inclined to be extra careful about anything connected to books. In truth, she was less then thrilled about using her library card, but that was a moot point, as neither Applebloom nor Scootaloo had one.

After some arguing, an order was established. Applebloom would pluck a book from the pile, open it and read out its ID tag to Sweetie Belle, who would pen the number on her card. Then, Applebloom would set the book into the processed pile. As soon as processed pile became more then ten books, Scootaloo would pick it up and carry it out to the cart. Soon enough, all the books were entered into Sweeties card, which they left on top of the counter to let Spike know that somepony attended. Done with the task, trio left the library, heaving little sighs of relief as they managed to leave the domain of slightly demented librarian without a fuss.

___

Twilight stretched out and groaned, as her spine cracked. DONE! Her research had been done! Data aligned perfectly - petunias could be indeed grown to be a predetermined color with a judicious application of magic. Surely enough, any unicorn could magically color the flowers for a while, but to affect the plants with magic to make them grow into specific color naturally? Until her thundering success just now, it was considered only earth ponies are capable of such feat. This proved her theory of universal magic - a theory that suggested that there is no fundamental difference between the magic used by different tribes. As she just confirmed, energy was the same, the question was merely in the way of applying it, and the natural propensities for such.

"This calls for celebration." - she said quietly, smiling - "A celebration indeed." As she trotted up the stairs, Twilight winced from the painful cramp between her shoulders, pausing until the twist of pain dulled down - "...But first, I`m going to go to spa." Having reached the decision, unicorn stepped out of the cellar and turned the sign around. The back side of the sign merely said "Restricted Area. No admission."

As she was about to trot out of the door, Spikes note caught her attention. Groceries, huh. She checked the self-help counter just to be sure nopony took Spike up on his offer... Well, well, well. Somepony did. She picked up the card and levitated it in front of her. Sweetie Belle, huh. Checked out lots of books, too. Well, that was certainly promising. Ever since the little incident with... definitions of the word, little unicorn became quite a careful reader. But my, my, isnt she rapacious in her search for wisdom? Twilight`s gaze trailed down over the row of numbers. Fifty three books, oh my. Normally, it would be against the rules to check out that much at once, but Twilight was willing to make an exception for somepony who were THAT enthusiastic about learning. Not to mention she would probably share the books with other crusaders.

As she turned to leave the library, her mind hit a snag. Something about Sweetie`s card bothered her. And Twilight knew better then to shrug off things that bothered her by now. So she picked up the card and scanned the entry more intently. ...Date is right, signature is present, indexes entered... wait a second... She skimmed though indexes again, then levitated a large catalog out from under the desk. She needed to check. Aha, there... number 13983. Oh Celestia no. Thirteenth section. She verified the number again, then checked the physical absence of book in question. Oh dear. Fillies made off with forbidden book. Her back aches forgotten, she bounded out of the library. That book had to be retrieved POST-HASTE!

___

"Tell me again why are we doing this here instead of our clubhouse?" - asked Sweetie Belle as she swatted the annoying fly away from her nose. Applebloom sighed - "Cause ahm not sure Clubhouses floor can take that kinda load, Sweetie. Do yah wanna explain ta Twilight why her books took a tumble off the tree?" Unicorn filly shuddered, her hooves covering her head - "Gah, no, not again! She said she will turn me into dictionary AND catalogue me into library if I ever ruined anymore books."

"Oi, its just fine here, I think." - offered Scootaloo. They positioned themselves at the old picnic area in the park. At this time of day, it was still rather warm, it had a sturdy table they could peruse books at and it was completely devoid of anypony, which was something all crusaders coveted at the moment. Sighing, Sweetie Belle set about sorting the books into three piles. She didnt notice that at the library, but apparently they each took... liberties with book selection. While their goal was simply to find out how to make their treehouse warmer without setting it on fire or ruining it somehow else, some of the books selected were anything but. So she decided to sort things first into three piles. Read now, read maybe later and what the heck were you thinking piles.

Sweetie Belle - ...Let`s see... "Hot hot cuisine of Manico"... why?

Scootaloo - Well, isn`t cuisine same thing as kitchen? I think if they can make kitchen hot, they can make treehouse hot too.

Sweetie Belle - Uh... No. This is a book about spicy food. Ok, next one... "Carpentry 101"?... Ok, that sounds useful. "Insular Pegasi: Critical Look at the History of Pegasopolis"... Huh.

Applebloom - Ah reckon it ought to have sumthin` about insulation.

Sweetie Belle - But, pegasi? Its likely about cloudfluff... Uh, lets set it off for later. OK, "Hot Studs and Sultry Mares"...Uh, what I was thinking? Toss, toss... EW. "Rocketry, Volume 1"?... Ok, what`s up with this?

Scootaloo - Rockets are fireworks, no? And fireworks are hot, aren`t they?

Applebloom - Yeah, but they`re also fire, yanno. Ah think this one is for read maybeh later pile.

Sweetie Belle - Alright, lets see... "Warmth of Magic: Romantic Story". Er... Well, I suppose it might have something on making places warm. "Farmers Almanac: Preparing Barns for Winter"... huh, that one sounds useful too...

___

"APPLEJACK!" Orange pony almost missed the tree, righting her hooves in the last second. "What?! What in tarnation, Twi!? Did somethang happen?" - she inquired, turning to face the frantic unicorn. "Oh suns glory, Im so happy I found you." - huffed Twilight, panting as she skidded to stop next to Applejack - "Cutie Mark Crusaders were in my library while I was busy, and... and, huff... I need to find them immediately!"

"Now, just wait a goshdarn minute, Twi. Yer not turninthem into anythang again, yhear? Ah know yer mighty protective of yer books, but turnina filly into dictionary aint tha right thing ta do." - responded Applejack levelly, shaking her head. Twilight shook her her in return, calming down a little from her run - "Oh, no, nothing of a kind. I admit I overreacted that time. No, its not that at all. Its just... They used the self-help counter and... oh Celestia, I should`ve been there..."

"So what did they do to yer library, Twi?" - asked Applejack, as she gingerly slipped out of the basket harness. Apparently, library was seriously messed up to make unicorn that frantic. "What? Oh, oh no, librarys fine. Everythings alright there." - responded Twilight, her eye twitching a little, - "I think the lessons were well-learned about that. No, no, it`s just... Sweetie Belle checked out forbidden book."

"Forbidden?... Huh. Now, what were ya doinhavin forbidden books in yer library, Twi?" - requested Applejack, now properly worried - "And what kind of book it is? Could they do somethang nasty by readin` it?" Purple unicorn twitched again - "Well, I need all kinds of books for my research, Applejack. I assure you, those books are forbidden for a good reason, and trying to ignore them is a bad idea. And yes, they can do something nasty. Like set everything on fire or explode themselves accidentally. So I really need to get that book back from them."

"Ah take it they aint at the clubhouse, are they?" - asked Applejack as she grew worried as well, - "Darnit, Twi, wed better shake a leg. Ya look for Rainbow Dash, maybeh she knows sumthinabout where Scootaloo is. Ahm gonna run and fetch Rarity."

___

"RAINBOW DASH!" Pegasus shot up straight, plugging her ears with hooves at the earspliting volume of magically-amplified shout. "GAH!... What, what, WHAT?!" - she shouted back as she rapidly glided down to Twilight, who was by now dancing in place with nervous energy - "What happened, Twilight? Cant you see Im napping here?"

"No time! Did you see Scootaloo just now?" - retorted frantic mare, glancing around as if expecting Cutie Mark Crusaders to ambush her from any bush. "Squirt? No, I havent seen her. Ive been doing some cloud shuffling since morning, then I took a nap until just now. Why, whats going on? Did they mess your library again? Because if they did, youre NOT turning Scootaloo into chicken again! That was whack thing to do." - offered Rainbow Dash as she settled down on the ground next to Twilight. "Oh come on, it was an accident! I did turn her back into pony as soon as I figured out how, didn`t I?" - unicorn replied, looking down bashfully.

"Yes, but you were figuring that out for five hours! She still has hankering for birdseed, Twilight! Birdseed. Thats just messed up." - huffed pegasus. "Rainbow, its not about that now! Besides, I apologised! Profusely. And many times." - Twilight was obviously feeling contrite, so Rainbow just nodded at her, waiting for her to explain. Which she promptly did - "Sweetie Belle checked out forbidden book while I was busy, and I really really really need to get it back ASAP! There`s no telling what Cutie Mark Crusaders might set on fire or explode if they start reading it!"

OK, that was more reasonable for Rainbow Dash. She, of course, wouldnt put it past Twilight to keep dangerous arcane grimoires filed and catalogued as if they were your regular romance novels. "Alright, so whats the plan?" - she asked, spreading her wings, preparing to take flight again. Twilight smiled slightly - "Thanks, Rainbow. It would be great if you take a look from the top and see if you can spot them somewhere. Im going to ask Fluttershy if she saw any of them. Applejacks fetching Rarity. Meet us at the Sugarcube Corner, well decide what to do there if I wont be able to find them."

___

After a few unsuccessful attempts to catch Rarity`s attention, Applejack gave up and just walked into the boutique. Humming from the back room amply suggested the fashionista was firmly "in the zone" - a strange trance-like condition she sometimes entered when designing dresses when everything she saw was immediately used for her fashion designs. Applejack sighed. This would be a tough one. She dashed into the room, dodging the numerous floating needles and pins and scissors and who knows what else that was sharp and pointy, skidding to stop next to Rarity. Unicorn turned around, murmuring - "Oh, hello there. I have just the thing for you, dear."

Applejack paused for a second, letting Rarity float the pieces of cloth closer, then leaned forward, firmly sticking her tongue into the ear of distracted unicorn. Her shriek nearly shattered the windows, making Applejack back off and hold hooves to her ears, while Rarity backed off, rearing and stumbling over the bolts of cloth on the floor, furiously rubbing at her now slightly wet ear.

"Applejack! Why, I never...! What in the world possessed you to do that, you uncouth ruffian!?" - fumed Rarity as she came to her senses, grabbing a tissue to wipe her ear clean. Orange mare straightened out and sighed - "Mighty sorry to do that to ya, Rare, but its kind of an emergency an you were in the zone." Rarity`s glare wavered, changing from angry to concerned - "Oh dear. Did something happen?"

"Ya can say that, I recon. Im guessing ya havent seen yer sister fer the whole day, had ya?" - offered Applejack, as she took a stock of the organised chaos that swallowed the room completely. Rarity blinked and nodded - "I was under impression she was spending day with her friends. Why, what`s the matter, Applejack?"

Orange pony sighed and shook her head - "Well, yeh, she sure is. Tha thing is, Twilight says them fillies got a dangerous book outta her library, anshe cant find them anywhere now. Ahm guessin ya havent seen them, so... Lets go meet at the Sugar Cube Corner. Twilights fetchin Rainbow and Fluttershy, and well all go lookin for them if they aint found by then." Raritys nose twitched as she processed the information - "..Oh my goodness, of course. Let us hurry, Applejack. Twilight didn`t mention anything about the dangers of that particular book, did she?"

"Actually, she did. Sumthinbout burninan explodin`, if ah got things right." - replied Applejack as she pushed the door open and held it for Rarity to pass through. Unicorn trotted out briskly, shaking her head - "Oh, this is most unsafe, indeed."

___

Fluttershys cottage was quite devoid of any ponies whatsoever. That did not deter Twilight, who promptly discovered yellow pegasus in the yard beyond the cottage, feeding the chickens. "Fluttershy?" - she offered quietly, leaning on the coop to catch her breath - "Did you see Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo or Applebloom today?" Fluttershy looked up - "Oh, hello there, Twlight. No, I havent seen any of them. Why, did something happen? Are they lost? Oh my goodness, they didn`t go into Everfree, did they?"

Twilight shook her head. Most of her nervous energy spent on running around left her calmer then she felt the right to be. "I dont think they did. No, the problem is that theyve been at the library while I was busy and took a forbidden book. I need to find them and get that book back." - she explained, heaving a sigh, - "So they weren`t here, either... Can you come and help us looking for them, then? Everypony else is gathering at the Sugar Cube Corner." Fluttershy blinked, whispering - "Everypony as in, all the Ponyville, or..."

"No, no. Rainbow Dash, Applejack and probably Rarity. And Im guessing Pinkie Pie will help us as well." - responded unicorn, turning around as she began to trot away, - "Im hoping well find them quickly enough without involving all of Ponyville in this." Nodding, Fluttershy closed the coop and fluttered after the departing unicorn - "Oh, thats just awful. I hope we`ll find them soon enough."

___

"So, did anypony found them?" - asked Twilight, looking on each pony in turn. Fluttershy shook her head immediately, as she had just arrived with Twilight. Applejack shook her head once and Rarity mirrored that movement with grim expression. "Not me." - offered Rainbow Dash when the gaze turned to her - "I took a look from above, but I couldnt spot anything unusual." Twilight bit her lip - "Well, that makes things complicated. Well have to split up and look for them..."

"Them? OOh, THEM? The aliens? Are you looking for aliens, Twilight? Because it would be sooo fun if we found aliens! Wed have to break into secret bunker, evading Celestias secret service all the time, and then wed find that secret service knew about aliens for decades and covered it up and then well finally get to the alien ship hidden deep underneath the Canterlot in the subterranean lake and the aliens will be all strange fleshy ponies with grey skin and huge heads and bony hooves and theyll be all "Moo, give us your cows!" and well be all "No way, you cow molesters!" and then they`ll reveal the secret portal to their world which... Um, no?" - Pinkie Pie finished somewhat lamely, as Twilight fixed her with the harshest glare she could muster.

"Not aliens, Pinkie. Were looking for Cutie Mark Crusaders." - offered Twilight, rolling her eyes. Pinkie beamed - "Them? Oh, theyre at the picnic spot in the old park." Twilight facehooved. "Why, why its always the last pony I ask that has the correct answer?" - she groused, concentrating. With a loud pop, she disappeared. "...Cmon, fillies. Weve gotta catch up with her before she does sumthin crazy with tha poor foals." - grumbled Applejack as she pushed the door open and galloped outside, followed closely by other four ponies.

___

Sweetie Belle was reading aloud from "Home Improvements And You: DIY guide for DIY pony" when Twilight Sparkle appeared next to the table fillies were occupying with a loud pop. Disregarding the shrieks, lavender mare beelined to the books, rifling through the piles. Fillies covered behind the table, less then enthused about the possibility of dealing with Twilight on their own. Luckily for them, other five ponies arrived to the place shortly, just as Twilight looked over the last book.

"Its not here. Its NOT HERE!? What did you do with it?" - she asked, thrusting an accusing hoof towards fillies. After a second, Sweetie Belle spoke up - "Um. What it?" "The book! The forbidden book! First volume of Rocketry!" - replied Twilight, leaning over the table to the startled fillies - "Where. Is. It?"

"Oh, Rocketry? You were looking for this book all the time?" - quipped Pinkie Pie, as she brandished the tome in question. Twilight blinked, pulling back. "Pinkie? Why do you have it?" - she inquired, energy leaving her body abruptly as she slumped on the bench with relief. Pinkie Pie giggled - "Well, I was out here just now, and I found it in the pile of books they had, and I remembered I`ve been meaning to check it out for a while and then I asked and they gave it to me!... Oh, but Twi? Can you transfer that to my card?"

Twilights horn shone for a moment. "...Phew. Done, Pinkie... Well, crisis averted." - she offered, resting her head on the table atop her fronthooves, groaning - "...I so need to visit spa after all this." Applejack blinked at the exchange - "...Twi? No offense to Pinkie Pie, but... what in tarnation are ya thinkin givin` her a forbidden book?"

Twilight turned to see if Pinkie would provide an explanation, but pink mare had already disappeared somewhere. Oh well. She shook her head - "Whats wrong with that, Applejack? Pinkie is allowed to check this book out." Orange mare was clearly not persuaded - "...Why in tarnation she is?" Twilights brow creased as she struggled to process the question. "Well, because she has the permits? Pinkie Pie is authorised to check out any scientific works. I mean, she wrote some of them." - she offered, blinking in confusion - "...Why wouldn`t she be allowed to check out in the field she contributes to?"

Before Applejack could say something, Rarity interjected - "Wait a second. Twilight, do you mean to tell us all this hubbub was because Sweetie accidentally grabbed a restricted book?" Twilight nodded, pulling a hoof over her mane - "Yep. Section thirteen." Apparently, that somehow explained everything to Rarity, as she chuckled. Applejack and Rainbow Dash, however, bore the confused expressions still, and so did all three of the crusaders.

"Um. What does restricted book mean, and are we in trouble for taking it?" - ventured Sweetie Belle finally, still covering from Twilight a little. Lavender mare shook her head - "No, no, this is all my fault for not supervising library properly. As for your question, forbidden books are books that contain dangerous information. This particular one, for example, Rocketry? It explains how to prepare and load various kinds of rockets in great detail. Obviously, anypony trying to do that without proper education in handling explosives would be in great danger, so this book is restricted only to ponies with engineering education or permits."

Everypony let out a collective doh. "Twi, do ya mean to tell me ya got yer tail in a tizzy over somethang like this?" - asked Applejack incredulously. Twilight straightened up. "Applejack, due process is the foundation of our society! Of course I got worried. Poor fillies had no idea they were checking out something they shouldnt. What if they got injured trying to do things by the book? It would be all my fault!"

"Alright. Ahve got jus one more quiestion for ya, sugarcube. Why did ya call this darn book "forbidden"?" - inquired Applejack incredulously. Twilights face fell as she blushed slightly - "... I... I dont know, really. I guess I read too much of Daring Do and Forbidden Grimoire."

___

Dear Princess Celestia.

Today, Ive learned that one should not overlook the minor tasks they are charged with. Thankfully, nothing bad had happened, but still, letting little fillies check out a restricted book was a mistake Im not keen on repeating. So from this day on, I`ll be taking more serious approach to my job as a librarian of Ponyville.

I`ve also learned that friends will come to help even if the issue turns out to be just a minor mishap. However, one should remember not to take that help for granted and do their best to help their friends to make up for the lost time. Ow my poor back, applebucking is hard work.

On a side note, Ive discovered some pretty interesting connections between the various types of magic. Included with this scroll youll find a detailed log of the experiment Ive conducted on petunias during the last week. Summarily, it appears that a unicorn can consciously effect the changes normally attributed to earth pony magic. I am not yet certain just how much of practical application such finding will be, but its implications are a tremendous change to the theory of magic.

Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.