School’s Bells (rewrite)
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The Rise of a Raven

School’s Bells (rewrite)

We both trot down the path, well, I trot. She more or less skips on the spot, giddy with excitement over new magical knowledge. For some reason, I feel Twilight’s skips should remind me of someone... wonder who.

We stop in front of the schoolhouse, where a kind, pink mare waits outside the door, “Hello Ms. Twilight. And who’s this you brought with you?”

She smiles, “This is Ravens Breath. He... was sent from Canterlot! Yes, Princess Celestia sent him to me to learn about the magic of Friendship. And, of corse, I decided he should still get a good magical and scientific teaching. I hope this is okay?”

The mare nods, “Of corse! I’m always glad to have more students. Go on in, Raven, and I’ll just have to do some quick paperwork with Ms. Sparkle.”

I nod kindly, “I hope to learn much under your tutelage, Ms.”

With that message, I decide to trot my way through the doors, and into the schoolhouse.

I quickly start to look around in the class, seeing ponies pairing up and talking before school starts. I smile, and speak so the entire class can hear, “I am looking for a group of mayham and destruction causing Crusaders. Would any of you kindly point to them?”

The entire class point to a back corner, where three fillies sit, apparently not having heard me. I nod my thanks to them, and move over to the group.

I take a seat near them, and smile as they look over at me, “Are you the Crusaders? I believe we can help each other.”

They nod, and the yellow one speaks up, “I’m Apple Bloom. That’s Scootaloo, and that’s Sweetie Belle. What’s your name?”

I check my nonexistent nails and smile my best business smile, “My name would be Ravens Breath. Now then, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, I believe I might help your group. See, I have a very particular set of skills. I don’t know what you want, I don’t know what your searching for, but I might help in finding it.”

Apple Bloom laughs a tiny bit, “Oh, come on, no need to act like you ain’t one of us. You ain’t got a Cutie Mark either!”

I click my tongue, “I guess that’d be the brand? Or tattoo? Well, in that case, yes. I do not have one.”

Scootaloo speaks up, “Who even are you, anyway?”

I cock an eyebrow, “Ravens Breath. I believe I already answered that.”

She shakes her hooves, “No, not your name! I mean, who are you? What’s your story? What’s with, well, the lack of eyes and such?”

Sweetie Belle promptly smacks her friend on the back of the head, “Scootaloo! You don’t just ask about stuff like that!”

I roll my eye sockets, “Thanks, but don’t worry. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been asked. Actually, it would, but I don really care. You want my story? Fine. I am an Age’s old Necromancer from another world who was slain by a bunch of heroes and forced into this world by Death himself.”

They all nod, seemingly accepting it. Sweetie smiles, “Another world? How was it any different?”

I lean back, “In many, many ways. Different races, to start with. See, in my old world, we had creatures called Orcs. These creatures are the meanest, crudest, loudest, and most barbaric race you can meet. Half the time they’re trying to kill you. The other half, they’re giving you a feast because they like your attitude. They’re at least six feet tall when they’re teens, they got green skin, and pretty bad dentistry. Oh, and their voices, they’re the worst.”

Apple Bloom nods, “Oh yeah? What did their voices sound like?”

I sigh, “Oh boy, let me show you. There is nothing more atrocious than their attempts to speak a civilized language. Das’ da’ evil lord right der’! Smash em’ mash em’ praise Gork and Mork as the Orcz Wil Witers chase him!’ Gods, it hurts my vocabulary just saying that one line. And that’s saying nothing about their abomination that they call a language.”

Sweetie Belle seems quite interested in these talks of voices, “And what exactly does their language sound like?”

I reach deep into my memories, “Let’s see if I remember something. Amat, ob corse izub dear. Izg know rugh pukhal jashat atigat, izg am a vadokunaur la uluk. I never learned much in that language, I had more valuable things to spend time on.”

Sweetie Belle shudders, “These Orcs sound horrible.”

I shake my head, “No, no, I love them in fact. They’re outcasts, I’m an outcast. Us outcasts have got to stay together in the world, else we find ourselves with nothing at our backs. I’ve made allies of quite a few Orc tribes, the more Orcish ones. They’re a very accepting race, as long as you aren’t one that enforces their reputation as outcasts without being one yourself.”

Sweetie nods, “What else do you speak?”

Scootaloo adds on, “Yeah, and what other races were there?”

I think of the first race that comes to mind, “Well, I can speak Dwarfish, and the Dwarf themselves are a very good race.

*Ring! Ring!*

I flinch from the loud noises the bells make, “But, I’m afraid that shall have to wait for later. It is time to learn.”

The teacher enters the classroom, and smiles at the entire class, “Before our lesson today, I would like us all to welcome our new student! Raven, please introduce yourself!”

I take my que, and stand up, “Hello everypony. My name is Ravens Breath, I am temporarily living with Ms. Twilight Sparkle. Don’t ask about the eyes, it’s a long story. Oh, and don’t stare into the voids there instead for too long. Possible side effects do provoke insanity.” The class claps, and I sit back down.

Miss Cherelee continues, “I’m sure you will all welcome Raven into our class. Now with that out of the way, I’m happy to announce that today we are going to be learning about magic!” Everypony seems to groan at this, and I actually raise an eyebrow, interested to see how these ponies use magic.

She pulls out a board which has a diagram of all three different races on it, “As can be seen here, each race has a different input and output style. Earth pony’s are covered in inputs for magic, and have outputs in their hooves. Pegasus pony’s have inputs and outputs on their wings, but have inputs in their eyes as well. And unicorns have all their inputs and outputs in their horns.”

Interesting actually, this is different than the absorption of mana. In fact, there’s no mention of mana at all. I raise a hoof, “Yes, Ravens Breath?”

“Well, what about mana?”

Cherilee tilts her head, “Mana?”

I nod, “Yeah, mana. You know? The expression of every beings and objects soul? Purest and most powerful form of magic?”

She shakes her head, “I’m afraid I have no idea of anything about that, Raven.”

I lean back, “You can’t feel your own soul? How odd.”

*Ring!* *Ring!*

“That’s the lunch and recess bell. Sorry, Raven, but we can discuss this more when class starts again. Class, dismissed for lunch.”

The Crusaders make sure to explain that this is when we eat and play, and that we have two hours before we go back in. They implore me to sit by them, and so I do.

“So,” Scotaloo starts, “You we’re saying about a Dwarf?”

I nod, “Oh yes, the Dwarves, beautiful race. Always thought they were a bit obsessed with honor, but overall they were pretty good. Three feet tall, pretty stocky, and very smart. They made the most advanced technology on our world.”

Apple Bloom perks up at the mention of technology, “What kinda stuff did they have?”

I shrug, “So much, it would take too long to mention it all. I think my favorite invention was what they called a ‘gun’. Basically, a miniature cannon you can carry around and shoot. I remember I had a Dwarf minion back in the Third Age who showed me to make one.”

We’re about to continue on, when two other fillies appear beside me. The pink one nearly purrs at me, “Well, hello there, Ravens Breath.”

I can slightly see the Crusaders cringe when she appears, but I don’t pay it any mind, “I’m afraid we haven’t met. You already know me as Ravens Breath. What about the two of you?”

The pink one speaks once more, “I’m Diamond Tiara, and she’s Silver Spoon.”

I slightly nod, barely noticing her getting slightly closer, “Pleasure to meet you, Diamond. Now, if you don’t mind, I shall have to get back to the topic I was speaking about before I forget what it was. If you wish, we can talk later.”

She doesn’t seem content with that answer, “Well, maybe we could convince you to change that topic to ‘goodbye’.”

Scootaloo speaks up, “What do you want with him, Diamond?”

Diamond answers back, seeming to get even closer to me, “We just want to talk to him some more. After all, he seems more... interesting than the other colts.”

Apple Bloom scoffs, “Well, he was fine over here, talking to us.”

Diamond scoffs back, “As if he would want to hang out with a bunch of blank-flanks. He would fit in better with us, he might just get a Cutie Mark for being so cool. Definitely not getting that over here with all of you.”

Sweetie Belle slightly blushes as the two scoot closer to me, “Well, why don’t you go and talk to Snips or Snails instead? I’m sure they’re plenty ‘interesting’ today.”

They seem to recoil in disgust, “Ew, as if! Have you looked at them? It obvious that Raven here is the much better choice than those two! Beside, anypony would want to hang out with us rather than you. Or should we bring up your cousin, Babs, was it?”

I stand up as soon as the two scoot even closer, “Right, it’s obvious what’s going on here.” I turn to face them, and shake my head, “I politely decline your invitation, thank you.”

Diamond recoils, “Really? You’d choose a bunch of blank flanks over us? A Earth pony who can’t grow anything? A unicorn that can’t cast magic? A pegasus that can’t fly? It’s clear you’re different than we thought you were. All you are is now a little eyeless colt! And of corse you would choose to hang around another cripple such as yourself.

I take all their insults, until they call Scootaloo a cripple. I close my eyes, “What did you say?”

She laughs, “You know what I said!”

I breathe deeply, “You have one chance to apologize before I force you to.”

They simply laugh, “As if you could do anything to us.”

I open my eyes, and summon my power into my voice, “Kneel.” My command goes through, and they both kneel, “Bow. Muzzles to the grass.” They do so, shoving their head into the ground, “Apologize.”

They speak with dispair at their bodies being taken over evident in their voices, “We’re sorry Raven!”

I scoff, “Your sorry to me? No, you don’t apologize to me. Apologize to my friends.”

They forcefully say out, “We’re sorry, Crusaders, for everything we’ve said wrong about all of you!”

I smile, “Raise your heads.” They look up from the ground, their muzzles having slight bits of dirt on it. I lean down, and stare into both their eyes with my voids, “You shall not say anything bad about my friends for the rest of your mortal lives, or until I lift this command. Leave.”

They break free from the spell, and run away to the other side of the recess clearing.

Sweetie Belle stares at me, her mouth agape, “Wow.”

Scootaloo yells out, “That was awesome!”

They all quickly turn to each other, before nodding. Apple Bloom smiles, “After such display of morals, we formally invite you to join the Cutie Mark Crusaders.”

I nod, “I accept.”

However, after I say that, another voice yells from the direction of the schoolhouse. Cherilee shouts to me, “Raven! Come here, right this instant!”

I get up, and trot on over. I wear a nonchalant smile as I get to the teacher, “Yes, Ms. Cherilee?”

She points inside, “Inside, now.”

I shrug, and walk in. She follows after me, and I turn around to face her, “What did I do?”

She doesn’t accept my shit, “I saw what you did to Diamond and Silver Spoon.”

I hold my hooves up, “Hey, they called my friend a cripple, and me eyeless. Now, both may be correct in one way or another, but I couldn’t just let them say that. I had to stop them.”

She loses a bit of the harshness, “I know that they did that. And, I have to commend you a little for protecting your friends. However, what you did was still unacceptable. Because of these circumstances, you only have to stay in for ten minutes, then you may be released.”

I nod, and take a seat. After a while, I look up a Cherilee, “Ms. Cherilee, would I be considered handsome?”

She nods, “Ye-“ before realizing what she was saying, “Why in Celestia’s name are you asking that!?”

I look her dead in the eye, “I think Diamond was hitting on me.”

Author's Note

Well, this is now a very long chapter (by my standards).

Talons (rewrite)
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The Rise of a Raven

Talons (rewrite)

We walk out of the school as bells ring to dismiss us. Apple Bloom speaks up, “So, Raven, what was that about a cannon?”

I smile, “Ah, yes, almost forgot about that. You want to learn, lead me to a blacksmith.”

Scootaloo smiles, and points towards a nearby building, “Oh, it’s actually right over here!”

I nod, and start to trot to the store, “Say, why do you know where the blacksmith is?”

Scootaloo shrugs, “We need help with some school projects sometimes. The Applewood Derby metal pieces have to be build by somepony.”

Sweetie Belle also speaks up as we step in, “Rarity has to order needles from him all the time. In fact, we have a good customer discount!”

A coal black earth pony peaks his head over a counter, with warm red eyes, and he speaks with a strangely Scottish accent, “Aye lass, that’d be ‘cause your sister buys a lot. Now who’s these with ya? Miss Apple and Miss Scoot, but who’s this fine young lad here?”

I smile, finding his personality enduring and his accent... strangely comforting, as if it should remind me of someone. I nod back, “Name’s Ravens Breath, Sir Smith.”

He smiles back, “Aye, Ravens Breath, fitting name. Me names Black Smith. Ain’t to hard to guess what I do, is it?”

I walk up to him, “Well, maybe you could help us with that namesake of yours.”

He leans back on a wall, “Depend on what ya need. Spokes for a wheel? Hooftacks? Cmon lad, say it.”

I smile, “A machine, never before seen. A portable cannon.”

He perks up at what I say, “Portable cannon, eh? Never before seen? Now’ve got me interested.”

I quickly think up of everything I need to make it, “Step one, build a mold. Step two, complete the mold. Step three, profit.”

He nods along, “Aye, simple a plan as any. Well, since you got the knowledge on the shape and all that, I’ll take care o’ the smithing.” He smiles, “Considern’ you know how to make such a weapon, I assume you can make a mold?”

I nod, “Yes, that I can. Never was good at the whole smithing part, but I nailed molding perfectly.”

He nods, “Very well then, I’ll get me forge a ‘runnin.”

I smile as he hands me a block of iron to make the mold out of. I focus around me, and pick up bones out of the surrounding streets. I make the bones into the shape of the gun, and think for a bit, “Hmm... what to name it? I know. Raven’s Talons.”

I quickly manipulate the bones to indent on the side, forging the name on the side. I then summon a bit of pyromancy, and surround the pistol with hot fire. With the fire set at just the right temperature, I press it into the block of iron. It hisses painfully as the fire melts it, and forces the pistol in. After a while, I remove the fire, allowing the iron to cool with the pistol’s shape.

I carry the mold over to Smith, and present him with the complete mold. He pours his molten metal into it, and we wait for about an hour.

—(1 hour later)—

I take the completed pistol in my magic, and smile at it’s polished finish. You might ask how it was polished and finished with just the mold. Magic, that’s how.

Smith smiles at the finished product, “It looks good. Now, let’s see if it works.”

We trot out to the training grounds, where dummy’s stand to test bows and swords. The Crusaders follow behind, all eager to see the end result of their waiting.

I create a ball out of bone, and add a bit of pyromancy to it for effect. I aim down the range, seeing a ponyquinn about ten yards away. I make sure my aim is sturdy, before pulling the trigger.

*Boom!*

The pistol fires with such force it sounds like I fired a howitzer. My eardrums would’ve been damaged, if not for two things. For one, Magic seems to strengthen ears against loud noises. Two, I don’t have eardrums.

The ponyquinn is sent flying in every different direction, the force of the ball hitting it is equivalent to getting hit by a jet going Mach One.

I stare in awe at the weapon I carry, “Oh... fuck yes.”

Smith stares at it in awe as well, “Hot damn, that’s powerful. Mind if I create a few more?”

I nod unconsciously, “Yeah, do what you will. This baby, however, is mine.”

Smith nods, “Aye, can understand why. Well, we’ve made some great discoveries today, but tis getting dark. Best be time you children be headin’ home to bed.”

I look into the sky to see the sun setting in the background. I nod politely to Smith, “Good night, Smith.”

He nods back, “Good day, Raven.”

The Crusaders and I walk out of his shop. Apple Bloom instantly turns to me, “Can you build another one? Please? Pretty please?”

I hold Talons back from them, and even decide to store it inside my empty body, “You are children, not to be trusted with a weapon of this caliber. However, I could show you more shots.”

They all nod together, “You know what this calls for? A Cutie Mark Crusader Sleepover!”

I smile at their enthusiasm, “Now, you do need to wait for a second. Miss Sparkle does hold legal guardianship over me, as such she must approve of such a Sleepover.”

Scootaloo shrugs, “Then lets go ask!”

I smile as they push me to Twilight’s, where she is peaking her head out from her door. She instantly sees me with the Crusaders, and sighs, “Raven... can we talk in private for a second?”

I pull myself to my own steps, and nod. I walk in, and turn to face Twilight, “You really, really shouldn’t’ve mentioned they caused mayham and destruction.”

Twilight just sighs, “You know, I tell you one thing, and you don’t do it.”

I shrug, “I’m my own Necromancer, I can make my own decisions. Well, except for right now. Can I do a sleepover with them?”

Twilight runs her hoof down her face, “You know what? Fine, go ahead and do that. Just remember that I will question you even harder because of it.”

I smile, and rush out the door, where me and my new friends head for our ‘clubhouse’.

An Eventful Night (rewrite)
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The Rise of a Raven

An Eventful Night (rewrite)

We trot down a path in the orchard, howls going off in the distance. Apple Bloom smiles, “The Timberwolves are howling, that means it’s almost Zap Apple season.”

I look to the forest where the howling is coming from, and see something strange, “Hmm... that’s odd.”

Apple Bloom looks back at me, “What, the Zap Apples?”

I shake my head, “No, the mana reading from the forest. It’s very odd, a mix of Necromantic and Nature mana combined. Can’t say it’s a mix I’ve ever seen before. Nature and death don’t mix well in most situations.”

Scootaloo looks at me as we stop before a treehouse, “You know, you keep mentioning this ‘Necromancy’ thing. What even is Necromancy?”

I look over at her, and raise an eyebrow, “You don’t know what Necromancy is? That’s... very odd.”

Sweetie Belle adds as we walk into the clubhouse, “Yeah, I don’t remember anypony mentioning Necromancy before. Not even Twilight, and Twilight knows all kinds of magic.”

I take a seat on the floor of the clubhouse, “Alright then, allow me to explain it to you. Necromancy controls pain, bones, souls, and death. You can cause pain, or stop it. You can control bones in any way possible. You are able to transfer and store souls. And you can bring things back from death.”

Scootaloo meets me with a skeptical look, “Prove it.”

I smile, and flex my magic a bit to find bones buried underground, “Gladly.”

I summon bones scattered all around, and they all come together to form a hand under me. The hand of bones lifts me up and transforms into a throne. I smile down at Scootaloo as the howls grow louder. I make a tiny hand of bone crawl up to her, and pinch her. She cries out in minor pain, “Ow! Why’d you do that?!”

I flick my hoof, sending a bit of magic towards her, “You don’t feel pain from that.”

She instantly looks more relaxed, and looks at the red spot left from the pinch with confusion, “What?”

I create another hand of bone, and make it rise above me. It grabs onto my neck, and pops it free from my body. I smile as it holds my head up for all the Crusaders to see, “Sometimes, you need to get a head in life.”

My pun is lost on them as they stare at me in shock, and the hand flips my head like a coin. I land on my bodies neck, head up. Good luck, I guess. With a simple thought, I meld the two parts together once more.

With my head firmly attached to my shoulders, I roll my neck. Bone cracking sounds ring out from all around us, as ten skeletons all do the exact same. I raise a hoof, and they all do the same, I smile, and speak, they all speak at the same time, “That prove it to you, Scoots?”

She simply stares at me in awe as I deconstruct the constructs of bone. She opens her mouth, before closing it once more. She opens it again, only to be interrupted by loud howling. She quickly turns around to where the sound came from, “Why did that sound like it came from right outside?”

Apple Bloom looks outside once, and screams, “They are!” She moves quickly, pressing a button that retracts the bridge up to us, leaving us safe up in the clubhouse.

Sweetie Belle looks around worriedly, “What are we going to do?”

She doesn’t get her answer, as a voice howls from outside, “Necromancer!”

I narrow my eyes as the shout reaches me, “I thought nopony knew what a Necromancer was.”

The voice shouts once more, “Show yourself coward! Before we kill the foals!”

I slowly trot out onto the little porch/balcony, and stare down at the squad of twenty timberwolves, “You called?”

One of the wolves steps forward, and eyes me with as much contempt as his green eye can manage, “So, it was a Necromancer we felt. Flexing his new powers, ones he doesn’t yet understand. Yet another Necromancer come to taint the Forest!”

I stare down at the wolf, and slightly smile, “I’m sorry buddy, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

The wolf simply turns to his fellows, “These practitioners of that vile magic have come once more!”

I sigh, and jump down onto their level. My hooves hit the ground, hard, and it causes the wolf to turn and face me, “Okay, I don’t know what your problem is, but you need to go. You have already threatened children, and I am finding it hard not to just kill you all right now. How about you just fuck off, and we all live happily?”

The wolf snarls at me, “We know not to trust your kind, Necromancer. Vogrim taught is that Lesson hard enough. Look at the creatures before you! Wolves made of lifeless wood! This is because of the taint your kind left on me. Vogrim infected nature with death, and I will not allow that to happen again.”

I look at the wolf, taking notice of him not referring to himself as one, “So, you aren’t one of the wolves, because you are obviously disgusted by them. Who are you then?”

The wolf stands proudly, “I am the Spirit of the Everfree! And I will not allow you to infect my Forest once more!”

I sigh, “Ravens Breath, really, really confused and angry Necromancer. Now, will you please buzz off?”

My question is answered quickly, when the wolf pounces and tears out my neck.

I sigh as my vocal cords are torn out in front of me, “Okay then, if that’s how you want this to happen.”

I reach out into the ground, and raise a fist of bone from the ground. It comes crashing up, punching the wolf off of me. I stand, and turn to face the rest of them. I slam one hoof down, and summon five skewers of bone that impale five wolves. I raise my other hoof up, and start to concentrate pyromancy in it. When I have a nice and red flame, I start throwing fireballs at the wolves.

I hit five of them before I’m tackled from the side, and a wolf claws into my chest. I rise up even as it tries to tear at entrails that aren’t there. I take my hoof, and reinforce it with layers of bone. I punch right through the wolves head, which makes it collapse into a useless pile of sticks. I remove my hoof from what used to be it’s head, and hold it out to face four other wolves. With a simple thought, I turn the bones into arrows, and send them flying at the unfortunate wolves.

One wolf tries to rush me, only to run into a wall. It falls over, and I add spikes to said wall. With a simple push, the wolf is crushed under the bone wall, and impaled by the bone spikes.

I turn to face another wolf as it rushes toward me. I smile, and create a rope made of bone. I tie it around the wolf, and hang it from the tree. I grab a branch, and add a bunch of bone protrusions to it. I grab the makeshift mace, and charge towards the wolf piniata. I start smacking it all over, mentally keeping track of the three left.

One of them tries to run to the Crusaders, but ends up getting a brick tossed through its head. The brick crushes the fragile wood with ease, thus killing the wolf.

I knock the head off the wolf I’m smacking, and it goes flying towards the final not Everfree Spirit wolf. With a smile, I add some fire and bony spikes to the head. The head collides into its chest, and gets itself lodged in there with the spikes. From which, the fire spread, and slowly turns the wolf to ash.

I turn to face my final opponent. The Spirit, who is only just picking himself up. Said wolf growls at me, “Come on Necromancer, hit me with whatever you’ve got!”

I raise my hoof once again, and summon up the same fire. Only this time, I add Necromancy to the mix, turning it green. Balefire, so powerful that off will burn your opponent down to the bone, and then through that bone. I point my hoof at the wolf, and let the fireball travel out.

It strikes the wolf, who just glares at me as it burns away at him, “Celestia will sense this magic. She will come, and she shall destroy you!”

I take out Talons, and point it at the wolf’s head, “Oh my gods, shut up!”

*Boom!*

It’s head is blown cleanly off, and the rest of the body turns to ash as the balefire touches it. I flip Talons around, and put it back into it’s storage.

I smile, and jump back up to the Crusaders, who stare at me in awe. In fact, Sweetie Belle rushes up and hugs me, “You saved us!”

I back up a bit, “Hey, hey, bad touch!”

She backs up with some embarrassment, “Sorry.”

I nod, “Yeah, sure, whatever.” I take a deep yawn, “Well, I haven’t had to use my powers that violently for a decade at least. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to sleep.”

I move past them, and I can hear them all gasp as I pass. I turn around, and tilt my head. They answer my unasked question, “You got your Cutie Mark!”

I look back at my ass, and see there is a Mark there. A playing card, but the suit is replaced with raven skulls, and in the middle is a figure in a black cloak, who shows off a scythe in bony fingers.

Honestly, I care less, “Okay, yay, sure. I’ll celebrate when I wake up.”

I walk to a random corner of the room, and lie down.

Author's Note

A previously rushed chapter given some more depth.

Sun God (rewrite)
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The Rise of a Raven

Sun God (rewrite)

I awake when I feel a hoof kick into where my ribs should be. My empty eyes open, and I can instantly see a white alicorn standing over me, dressed in golden armor, with a sword against my neck. She sneers down at me, “Any last words, Necromancer?”

I think back to something Luna told me in the dream, “Within my rights as a pony, I demand parlay as my basic fundamental right, as seen in the Second Tenant of the Equestrian Constitution!”

Her eyes slightly widen, before she moves her sword away from my neck, “Then parley we shall have.”

I rise from the floor, stretching as I smile towards Celestia, “Good thing you said yes. If not, well, I don’t believe you would live to see the next day.”

She makes sure I can see her blade, “You wouldn’t get the chance. By the time you could get off a single spell, your head would be rolling on the floor. Even you can not survive the sting of the Sun Singer.”

I look at her blade, “You wanna test that? Cause if you attack me, you’re going to have a bad time.”

She doesn’t let me annoy her, “The only reason you still stand is because I wish you to. Speak, before I become bored and annoyed.”

I’m about to retort back when I’m interrupted by a young voice, “Princess Celestia?”

She turns to see Apple Bloom blearily looking at her, with the other Crusaders stirring around her. She turns to look at them, “Do not worry, my little ponies. This doesn’t concern you.”

I but in, “Actually, I’m pretty sure it does. Us being Crusaders and all, you know. Crusaders stick together, and all that?”

She turns back to me, “Excuse me? Did you just say you’re a Crusader?”

I nod, “Yep, pretty sure that’s what I said. Might be a few millennia older than them, but I still feel pride. Nothing wrong with that.”

She growls at me, “You would go so low as to manipulate foals into your bidding?”

Scootaloo responded for me, “No offense Princess, but he hasn’t manipulated us at all. Fact is, he just seemed cool and nice. He even protected us from Diamond Tiara yesterday.”

She look between me and them, “Of corse, it all makes sense. You went after the sisters of the Elements in order to get closer to them. So you could manipulate them to shroud this world in your darkness.” She holds her sword where I can see it once again, “I will not tolerate this parley any longer. You’ve tried my patience with skillful lies and bluffs. You don’t think I can see through you, that you even insult me by saying you could defeat me. Your dark magic pushed back the vengeful Spirit of the Everfree yesterday, but you cannot push me back.”

Sweetie looks between us with worry, “Princess?”

Celestia continues on, “I am Celestia, Godess of the Sun, and Fire. You have invaded my lands with your dark magic for too long. Prepare your final words, and I will send you to your afterlife.”

My eyes widen, “No, I do not want my afterlife. Do not swing that sword, Celestia!”

She calmly raises it, and starts to bring it down. She is only stopped when three foals jump in front of me, in between me and the blade. Apple Bloom shouts out, “Princess, stop! Ravens our friend, and we can’t allow you to harm him! Please, just stop.”

Celestia’s mask seems to break for an instant as she looks at the foals. Her mask quickly reforges itself, and she glares at me, “You would put foals in front of a blade to save your own life? How low can one sink.”

I look at the Crusaders, “Look, I appreciate it, but move. Seriously, this is not your fight, you are foals. You have no place im front of a God’s blade this early in life.”

They hold strong, “We aren’t going to allow you two to fight!”

Celestia sighs, and lights up her horn. Her blade raises itself once again, “It is our duty to put an end to the Necromancer. Three foals is but a small sacrifice. For the greater good. For all of our little ponies, and the world itself. If you shall not move, then we shall have to cleave through you.”

She brings down her blade a lot quicker this time. I quickly jump ahead of the Crusaders, and raise a skeletal fist from the ground, “No!”

Our attacks collide, her sword stopping dead on my skeletal fist. The world ripples and explodes from the force of our two attacks. It sends the Crusaders flying into the walls of the clubhouse, and sends me and Celestia sliding across the floor.

I regain my footing on the rough wood, glareing at Celestia, “You do not kill them.”

She swings her blade around once again, facing it towards me, “I cannot allow you to continue.”

I breathe out once, seeing the green smoke from my magic flow out with the breath. My entire body glows green as my magic shows itself, and gets rid of any excess. I can both feel and see the excess go to the nearest points of life it can be used by.

I create a blade of bone, and diluted mana. I face her once more, “Then it is time for me to kill you.”

We both charge towards each other. I grab my blade in fingers of bone, and jump into the air. I twist around my body, and slam my blade into her’s once more. The ripple this time sends us both flying into the walls of the clubhouse, and can be seen knocking trees over and apples down into their baskets.

We both flip into a recovery, and almost fly at each other once more. That is, until a blue sphere appears in between us, shouting out, “Stay your blades!”

I quickly listen to Luna, and deconstruct my blade. I take a deep breath in, taking back in all my bleeding magic, and forcing it to lay dormant once more.

Celestia, however, doesn’t. She continues to face me, “Sister, help us defeat this Necromancer!”

Luna simply meets eyes with Celestia. They share their eyes for a moment, before looking back at me.

I can see Celestia’s mask break once more, leaving her very confused, “So what should we do?”

Luna smiles, “If you really need him to prove himself more, then a mission might be in order.”

Celestia sheathes her blade, and looks at me with confusion, “Okay then. Ravens Breath, Necromancer, expect a chariot later today. I will have a job for you.”

I slowly nod, “Alright.”

She walks out to the balcony, and looks back at me, “But remember, you are only alive because I allow you to be.” With that, she spreads her wings, and takes off.

Luna looks at me, “You owe me one.” Before she takes off as well.

That leaves me in a clubhouse with very damaged walls, and a bunch of knocked-out Crusaders. I take a glance at them, before backing up in suprise.

Their mana signature is familiar, too familiar. I could regonize my own signature anywhere. My excess magic must have gone to them! But, that means...

I just turned a bunch of mayham causing foals. Into Necromancers.

Author's Note

Well, this is a bit fixed up.

Necromancy (rewrite)
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The Rise of a Raven

Necromancy (rewrite)

I march in front of the line of Crusaders, “So, you wanna learn Necromancy. Here I am to teach you. And believe me, there is no better teacher than me.” I stop, and throw a collection of items on the ground, “An important thing in all magic is to have a catalyst. As you are all new to this, I would recommend what is most comfortable.” I motion at the items, a bunch of staves, “If you wish, you may use a staff. I, personally, always found staves easy to use. However, I have grown to use my entire body as a catalyst.”

Scootaloo asks a quick question, “So, uh, what exactly do we do?”

I smile patiently, “Of corse, I forgot you haven’t received an advanced magical education. Not to say I did either, so I understand where you’re confused. Gods, it’s been so long since I’ve had to think how to summon my mana.” I shake my head, and look at all of them again, “You want to reach down into the very depths of your self. Feel around, until you feel something green, it will smell like freshly clipped grass, and will taste like Granny Smith apples. I like those apples. Anyway, once you reach this mana, guide it to your catalyst. Said catalyst shall glow green as you feed it more mana.”

I can see them all close their eyes, and concentrate deeply. Their breathing deepens, and I can see the mana inside them start to move. I nod as I see it flow through them, all to different points of the body.

I can see them all open their eyes, and look at their glowing parts. Apple Bloom looks at her glowing hooves, Scootaloo at her glowing wings, but Sweetie can’t seem to find hers. She looks all around, before looking back to me, “Where is it?”

When she speaks, the mana carries itself on the sound waves. It glows a bright green, answering her question. I nod at the Crusaders, “Now, with your mana gathered, comes the easy part. Express your will, and the mana will try and do it. Think about what you want, and use the strongest will you have. For example, when I say ‘sky’.”

A hand juts itself out of the ground, raising me high into the sky. I demolish the hand and land back on the ground.

I smile, “Now, will is only a small part of using your mana. There are many mechanisms to cast mana, but they’re all advanced. Go ahead, try.”

Sweetie looks down at her leg, where a small cut is. She focus on it, “Heal.” The skin instantly heals, and her fur grows back as if nothing had happened.

Scootaloo looks at her wings, and whispers, “Fly.” Her small wings attract bones in the area, all of which add themselves to a huge wing on her side. Now, she stands with wings of bone, bigger than even Luna’s. With a single flap, she rises from the ground, and she keeps on flapping to stay there.

Apple Bloom seems to lock eyes with a tree, and walks up to it, “Strength.” She raises her back legs, and bucks the tree with the added force of her mana. The tree takes the blow, and apples fall out of it. Seeds seemingly turn into fully grown apples in the air as they fall into the buckets down below.

I nod at all the Crusader’s happy smiles. Apple Bloom seems to be oddly satisfied with the tree, Scootaloo is giddy with her new flight, and Sweetie seems lost in thought. All of them wear happy smiles. I quickly bring my hooves together in a clap, which disables all their mana. Scootaloo’s wings of bone fall to the ground, and all of them lose the glow in their limbs. I hold my hooves up at their angry looks, “Hey, we’re only on the first lesson, and you are all on stuff for the fourth lesson. Beside, you need to be careful with your mana. If it dries up, then you will not be in a good position.”

Scootaloo sighs, “Then what are we supposed to do now?”

I smile, and point out at the town, “I can show you more stuff I can do. Why don’t we all go to the town?”

Author's Note

I’m going camping over the weekend, so I won’t be able to write. This is still true, almost a year later.

Swing (rewrite)
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The Rise of a Raven

Swing (rewrite)

“So, you were saying about showing us some other skills?” Apple Bloom asks.

I nod, “Right. Just go ahead and list something, chances are I will be able to do it.”

Scootaloo speaks up, “What about cooking?”

I stop in my tracks as my mind assaults me with a flashback.

———

”Oh gods! What the fuck!?”

A skeleton tries to run, “Fuck this shit!”

A tendril wraps itself on his leg, and flings him across the wall, “I just washed my bones godsdamnit!”

A skeleton crawls in front of me, “Please, help me! Kill me before it gets me!”

A tendril wraps around his leg as well, flinging him onto the roof. The monster then speaks up, “Foolish mortals! You would dare try to run from me!?”

A group of heroes burst into the room, swords at the ready to slay me. They are met with the sight of the monster. Tendrils wrap around them as well, as they all scream, “Why is it moving!?”

One is dashed upon the wall, “It’s getting into my suit!”

Another hits the floor in front of me, and she looks up at me, “What the fuck have you made!?“

I watch as the monster breaks through the wall of my tower, carrying the heroes into the distance.

I look at the pot the Flying Spaghetti Monster came out of, “I just wanted spaghetti.”

“I wonder what happened to it?” I mutter under my breath.

“Um... Raven? You okay?”

I snap out of my flashback, “What? Oh, yeah, totally.”

“So no cooking?” Apple Bloom feels the need to ask.

“No, and I will not hear you mention it again!”

“Okay... what about singing?” Sweetie asks.

“Singing? Well, I guess I could. Don’t have the best voice for it right now. Yeah, sure.”

“Then let’s go to Pot Hitter’s, he is the town music stallion.” Sweetie then rushes off in a random direction, forcing the rest of us to follow.

We walk for like, five minutes, and then arrive. Pot Hitter’s music selection! The place is painted all different types of blue and pink, a hippie’s paradise.

We walk in, and see a skinny stallion sitting behind a counter, he’s wearing sunglasses, and has a blond messy mane with a moustach, “Hey there, little Crusaders. Come to try a hoof at my instruments again?” He says, not even noticing me

“No sir, Mr.Pot, we’re here to see what Raven can play.” Sweeie speaks up.

He seemingly notices me then, “Hey there little dude, didn’t see you there. My eyes simply couldn’t pick up yours, you dig? Oh, maybe that’s why you’re called Raven. Your eyes are empty, like a void, a void like death. Raven’s deliver ponies to death. Maybe by looking in your eyes I’ve just sealed a deal with the reaper.” He shakes his head, “Sorry, little dude, I sometimes just start talking.”

“No need to worry about it, we are in no rush.” I say back.

“Thank you, little dude. You wouldn’t believe how many ponies don’t understand the need to speak and listen. But you, I can feel it within you, you’ll listen to this stallion talk. Your ears are open, your eyes wide, you see how this world really is. Like that giant mass of observers. You see all those things, the ‘read it’s’ and ‘snap chats’. That’s behind the point, isn’t it little dude? Tell me, what instrument do you feel can capture your spirit this fine day?”

I take a second to think of what I want to play, “How about the instruments needed within a swing band? Trumpet, saxophone, keyboard, double bass, and drum set.”

He nods, “If you think you can handle them all, little dude.” He claps his hooves together, causing a complex system of rails to carry the requested instruments right in front of me. He smiles, “I expect your best performance, little dude, it’s been a long time since this town’s had a good musical event. Good luck, little Raven.”

I create five skeletal clones of myself, all of whom pick up an instrument. We follow after Hitter as he leads us outside, to a stage. We walk up onto the stage, and prepare ourselves.

It all starts off with a fast trumpet and a fast drum beat. I prepare myself, and start to sing.

”Hello there ponies of Ponyville,
I’ve noticed your town grow quiet and still.
Allow me to liven it up with my song,
And you all feel free to join along!”

The saxophone jumps in now with the double bass, providing more of a beat to go off of.

”Imagine a place in your mind’s eye,
A place where fun and music die,
Don’t worry, for that is not here today!
Not if I am to have any say!

The beat picks itself up as we enter the chorus, the citizens of the town gathering around us.

”Lose youself to the rhythm and beat!
For while I am here to sing,
You should get up and off your seat,
And listen to the King of Swing!”

The crowd gets even bigger, and ponies start to dance in the street. I teleport myself down next to Sweetie, and start an upbeat dance with her.

”Come now, Sweetie Belle my dear,
You have no need to worry or to fear!
Pick up your hooves and get lost to the dance!
Let your body move around as if stuck in a trance!”

I then teleport over to Scootaloo, and continue the dance with her.

”Don’t look so bored here, Scootaloo,
Don’t be afraid of being told to shoo!
Let youself free, soar and fly!
No need to ask how or why!”

I then let go of her as well, and teleport to Apple Bloom, continuing the dance without skipping a beat.

”Don't just stand there and watch Apple Bloom,
Not joining in could spell your doom!
Let your dancing be seen all the way to the moon!
And dance along to the rhythm of the tune!”

I teleport once more as I see Twilight in the crowd. I catch her by surprise as I start throwing her around in the dance.

”Don’t let fear be the better of you Twilight!
Come on and dance, dance in the light so bright!
In order to learn the secrets of this Necromancer,
You must first become a brave dancer!”

I teleport back to the stage as the trumpet has a short solo, before all the instruments blade back into the chorus.

”Lose youself to the rhythm and beat!
For while I am here to sing,
You should get up and off your seat,
And listen to the King of Swing!”

I teleport over to Pot and enter into his wild dance. The two of us flip, duck, and dive in perfect synchronization.

”Join in in with Pot Hitter,
As he dances around like a wild critter!
He doesn’t care if the song will end soon,
For it and he have become attune!”

A chariot lands in the middle of the square, two guards pulling it. I teleport over to one, and try to continue the dance.

”Come on Royal Guard oh-one!
Don’t let duty get in the way of fun!
Even though the only line left is one,
It’s time for this song to be done!”

The crowd claps and stomps as the music stops. I turn and bow to them, “Thank you Ponyville! But, that is all for now.”

The crowd looks sad but walks away anyway. Pot walks up to me, “That was wicked, little dude. Honestly, good job, that’s the most fun the town has had in a year.”

I smile at his praise, “Thank you.”

Pot smiles, “You wanna keep that trumpet, little dude?”

“Really?”

“Yeah little bro, you can keep it.”

“Thanks!”

“No problem, little dude. Spread your spirit far and wide, little dude, bring music all around.” He then walks into his store.

“That was great!” Sweetie Belle shouts, as she runs up and hugs me.

I scrunch my face up at the strange gesture, “Is this how ponies congratulate each other, or something?”

She backs out of the hug when she realizes what she was doing, “Uh, no? But, it’s just, well-“

She is interrupted by the guard poking me on the shoulder. He shows me a letter, “From the Princess.”

I unfurl the letter, and read it.

Necromancer,

There is a situation that has arisen, King Sombra has returned and taken over the Crystal Empire. I don’t trust you, even with Luna behind you, even with her having seen your memories. This is your chance to prove me wrong, and Luna correct. I want you to go and stop Sombra, a chariot shall be provided for transportation. You will be given one chance to prove you’re good, I would take it.

If you fail within this endeavor, or if you otherwise prove yourself to not be good, than I will not be afraid to unleash all my power. You got lucky that Luna stopped us before I reached full power.

If you fail, it doesn’t matter how many foals you put between me and you. I will find you, and I will end your miserable life.

From Princess Celestia.

“Well, as much as I wish I could say no, it would seem I cannot. Loathe am I to deny such a good opportunity.”

Sweetie tries to look at the letter, “What is it?”

I furl up the letter and burn it within my grasp, “I have been sent on a quest to prove my worth. I endeavor to stop an evil king of the north so that Celestia can see me for who I am.”

She nods, “Well, uh, be safe, alright?”

I step in the chariot as it takes off. I lean out, and affix her with my greatest smile, “Safety is relative.” I step all the way in, and turn to the guards, “What about Twilight?”

“She has received a letter informing her of the situation.”

I nod, and curl up on the seat in the chariot. I close my eyes, and drift off for the long trip ahead.

Author's Note

I’m back, and better than ever!

The Dark King (rewrite)
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The Rise of a Raven

The Dark King (rewrite)

I’m shaken awake as a guard wakes me. He looks at me as I wake, “We’ve arrived. If you succeed, than the Crystal Fair should happen tomorrow. Celestia will see you then. We’ll ride low next to the shield for you to jump out.”

I shake my head, “No, ride high above the shield. If this comes to blows, then I don’t want my exit to be blow up because they wasted time gaining altitude.”

The guard tilts his head, “You expect to just be able to jump out of a chariot flying a few hundred feet off the ground? You know what, I’m not going to question it. You think you can do that, go ahead. Ten seconds.”

I wait for ten seconds at the door to the chariot. I sprout wings of bone from my sides, and jump out. I go spinning towards the ground like a bullet, building spikes of bone on each of my hooves. I twist, and land on the pathway in the city. Momentum tries to carry me, but the spikes of bone make me stick the landing in the path. I smile, and deconstruct the wings of bone.

As I land, a shadow collects itself near me. The street fills with a dark fog, and a deep voice radiates from it, speaking with a slight Spanish accent, “Such mastery of magic for one so young. One of the Forbidden Arts as well... Necromancy. The last time I saw the art, and the last time the world saw the art, was with Vogrim. Such a beautiful and long forgotten art. You must be truely blessed to wield such magic.” The shadows coalesce into a singular form, and a pony steps out of them. His eyes green and red, burning with a purple fire. His mane flowing with the shadows he emerged from. His horn is jagged and sharp, and his coat looks like a coat of armor. He wears a red cape, marking off his royalty. He smiles, sharp fangs obvious, “Tell me, where did you learn the art, young one?”

I breathe in deeply as I open and show him my eyes, “Do not think you can call me young. I am over three millennia old, and you pale in comparison to all I have seen.” I smile after that, “However, I will admit, you are the most badass looking thing I’ve met in these last two ages! Gods, it’s like every part of you is a weapon that bleeds darkness. And that Spanish accent? Oh it just sweetens the deal. Are you a trombone player? You sound like a trombone player.”

His eyes widen in a bit of surprise, before he recovers, “I cannot claim to play the trombone, no. I must say, you are certainly the first being I’ve met who’s reacted like that. They usually just run away and scream, or shout at how their going to kill me. So, thank you, I put a lot of effort into looking like this. You would not believe how hard it is to comb shadows every morning.” He looks on back to the palace, “You know, with that show of power and being nice, I feel like being nice back. Want to come in for tea? I have a fresh pot brewing.”

I nod, “Sure!”

We both start to walk to the huge black palace in the distance. Well, he floats there, I walk like a normal person. As we walk he asks an important question, “So, what were you sent here to do? I know that some agent of Celestia’s would come, and I’m assuming you’re it.”

I look on over at him as we walk into the palace, “She asked me to stop the evil king. So I am going to talk with you, and if things go wrong, I will have to fight with you.” I sigh, “I don’t even especially want to be out here to begin with, and I definitely don’t want to fight you. So, if we do, I just want to say it’s nothing personal. I just want to live a normal life, and apparently that comes with the caveat of stopping the evil king.”

We arrive in the dining room, where tea cups are laid out on a table. We both take a seat, and he takes a sip, “You wanna talk? Then talk.”

I nod, and take a grateful sip of tea, “Okay, let’s start this off with a simple question. Why are you evil?”

He sighs, “I didn’t choose to become this, first and foremost. I was just a unicorn who wanted to help my ponies. When chaos broke out in the lands of Equestria, and Discord infected the south, I gathered a group of ponies and we moved to the north. Out in the frozen waste, we found a city. This city had some sort of shield around it that kept it warm, and allowed crops to grow within. We prospered, until Discord decided to ruin it all for us. He infected the Crystal Heart with his chaos, and left us to rot. Sixty percent of all crops died, and we needed to sacrifice crystals to the Heart to keep the shield going. I had to feed my ponies and keep them warm. I pushed them harder and harder, and reaserched dark magic to try and cure the Heart. The magic eventually took over me, then the Princesses came after they dealt with Discord. They had me slain, and thus freed my mind. But, I am still plagued with dark temptations and wishes to take back my Empire. These urges are too strong to resist.”

I set the tea cup down with a rattle, and stand up, “Let me tell you something right now, Sombra. That is some bullshit right there.”

He raises up as well, almost breaking his cup as he jolts up, “You have no idea of what I’m putting up with!”

I force his eyes to look into mine, and I instinctively add bones to my legs to make myself taller. I tower over him, “Do not presume you can tell me what I do not know! I am Ravens Breath, last Necromancer! I have seen years pass like seconds! The Beast claws at my thoughts and my mind everyday! Do not presume you have gone through worse than I have, whelp! I have tortured and been tortured bad enough to make you weep! Even in my death, the Beast whispers into my head! You are a fool if you think you’re going through worse!”

My burst forces him down into his seat as he cowers from me. He eventually gathers courage enough to ask, “Then what do you think I should do?”

I send the legs of bone away, and fall back into my chair, “Well, that’s very simple. Expunge the magic from your system, purify yourself.”

He takes a second, “But, what about the dangers?”

I smile, “I think you forgot you are talking to a Necromancer. If you end up dying, I can revive you.”

He sighs, and stands up, “Fine, if you think it will work.” He breathes deeply, “Name’s Sombra, by the way.”

Sombra starts to float, and darkness starts to surround him. His eyes turn white, his mouth opens, and darkness flows from him. It takes around five minutes, and the flow only gets stronger, and stronger, and stronger. Then it stops, and Sombra sends out a shockwave of dark energy away from him, the entire Empire turns blue, and pure when the shockwave passes it. I stand straight as the shockwave passes over me, and I can feel the mana in the air turn back to pure.

I scramble up, and see Sombra. The only difference is his eyes that have changes from red to blue, and he stands there studying himself with new eyes. He lookes at me, “I feel good.”

I smile, “I think this is the start of something beautiful.”

The Crystal Fair (rewrite)
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The Rise of a Raven

The Crystal Fair (rewrite)

We both walk into the dungeons of the palace, ready to flee those who will become the leaders of the Empire. I walk in first, and see a pink alicorn in one cell, and a white unicorn in another, “Prepare yourselves, for you are about to be freed.”

The Alicorn looks up as I enter, “You defeated Sombra?”

He walks in behind me, and I tilt my head a tiny bit with a smile, “In a manner of speaking, yes. Sombra is no more the all evil king of Corruption, but now normal.”

The white unicorn turns to Sombra, “You mind telling us who this foal is and why he is here?”

I smile and answer for him, “My name is Ravens Breath, Necromancer. I am here because Celestia commanded me to be.”

The alicorn takes her turn, “Aunt Celestia sent you? Any proof?”

I fumble around in my bags, and pull out her letter, “Commands from her, right here.”

I hand them to her, and she reads it. She nods, “He wasn’t lying, this is her hoofwriting. So, you really redeemed Sombra?”

Sombra speaks up now as he unlocks their cells, “Yes, he did. Did you two not notice the huge shockwave of cleansing light?” He smiles at the two of them as they shuffle out of the cells, “You two have a Fair to plan for, I suggest getting to it.”

We walk out the dungeons, and Sombra looks out the window to see the sun about to set.

He knocks on a wall three times, and a false door opens. He motions inside the room where a bed awaits, “Sleep until morning graces the Empire. Your sleep shall be safe here.”

———

My vision is assaulted by light as I hear three knocks on the wall. I have none of it, and try to close my eyes closer, only to have Sombra rouse me, “Come along, Raven. You wouldn’t want to miss the Fair, would you?”

I sigh, and open my eyes. I get off the bed, and trudge into the hall, “You know, I spend way to much of my life awake. After spending a thousand years staring at the same wall and not being able to do anything, I enjoy my sleep.”

Sombra snorts, “And I spent a millennia in a dark void, watching as my body pieces itself together piece by piece. Sleep is a nightmare now.”

I smile, “You know? I think you are the only being I’ve ever met who I feel a kinship with.”

He nods, “It is the same for me. I mean, we’re both Lords of Darkness, we’re both good, spent a millennia doing nothing, I don’t think there’s any being out there that has a closer story to mine.”

I nod, “Yeah, all’s true. So, Sombra, friends?”

He looks at me for a second, before smiling, “Yes, Raven. Friends. Amigos.”

I smile, it only growing in size as I look out the window, “Holy shit. That’s a big Fair.”

Sombra nods, and shatters the window, “If you sound so excited, go ahead down there and participate. I shall stay behind, I have a speech to prepare.”

I nod, and throw myself out the window to the streets below. I land on all four hooves, and quickly throw myself into having fun at the fair.

I walk to a booth, where a crystal pony sits. It’s one where you go up to a pony and they try to guess your age. I walk up, and sit in the chair in front of the pony. He smiles at me, “Here are the rules, young one. One, if I guess your age correct, you pay fifty cents. If I guess wrong, with a five year margin, you get a prize.”

I smile, “Alright then.”

He then takes a while, and examines me. He looks at my teeth, touches and feels the deathly state of my hair and coat, examines my horn, and even looks into my eyes for a little bit.

He rubs his chin for a bit, thinking, “I’m told to be the best in my field, and yet you seem like a mystery. Your coat and mane are taken care of like you were a foal, true, but everything else says different. Your horn looks like one that would be on a very old pony, with so many spirals. And your eyes, they speak of many different ages. Old, young, middling, they just can’t seem to decide.” He nods, “Taking all of these factors into account, it is hard to decide. You seem to either have some messed up genetics, or really good illusion magic. So, I will guess, thirty to fourty.”

I smile, and shake my head, “I’ll take the Ursa Minor.”

He smiles, “The large one?”

I nod, “The largest one.”

He hands me a huge Ursa Minor from the shelf, almost as big as I am. He waves goodbye as I leave, “How old are you anyway?”

I turn, and face him with a smile, “Three thousand five hundred sixty seven.”

I walk away from the booth, and some snake creature seems to slither by me, “Excuse me.”

I look back as I see a strange chimera slither into the seat I just sat in. A soft voice speaks from in front of me as I look at the odd creature, “Oh, I’m so sorry, Discord just can get really excited sometimes. And... wait. Aren’t you the foal Twilight is keeping over?”

I turn to face a yellow pegasus with a pink mane, “Well, yes, I am. My name is Ravens Breath.”

She smiles, “Fluttershy, I’m one of Twilight’s friends. I’m so sorry if Discord hurt or made you uncomfortable. He just isn’t used to blending into crowds.”

I’m about to respond, but I hear a shout from behind me, “Wait a single nanosecond!” The chimera, named Discord, appears next to me. First, his head goes flying to in front of me, and his body follows, his neck like a slinky. He looks at me from his position in front of me, “Aha! I knew I saw something off!”

Fluttershy slightly raises her voice, “Discord, please. This is Ravens Breath.”

He smiles, “Yes, I suppose you would need a new name to fit in. Ravens Breath is oddly fitting. Ravens Breath, master Necromancer of Tel’la De Rus!”

I instantly send the stuffed Ursa to a pocket dimension, and rip Talons out of a holster. I point the gun right at Discord, “You had better explain how the fuck you know that name.”

He doesn’t answer, no, Fluttershy does. She snaps at me, “Raven, language.”

I look at her, to see her look disappointed. I sigh, “Discord, can you explain how you know that name, please?”

She nods, “Better.”

Discord looks with slight fear at my gun, before smiling, “Why, telling you now would take time away from the Fair! I can tell you later, Raven, when you’re on the train back to Ponyville. All will be shared there, I swear it upon the name of the dead world.”

I hold the gun up for a few more seconds, before smoothly holstering it. I nod, “Fine.”

He smiles, “Excellent. Either way, you need to be prepared for what Celestia is about to do with Sombra.”

I detect no dishonesty in his tone, and snap my head to face the palace. Sombra walks outside, and begins his speech.

I instantly sprout my wings of bone, and fly to the palace as quick as I can. I crash through the already broken window, and start to rush through the halls to the throne room.

I barge open the door, and see Sombra walking back inside. He sees me, and tilts his head. I instantly respond, “Celestia is about to do something to you!”

He opens his mouth to respond, only to have it be cut in half by a sword. Sombra collapses to the ground, dead. Celestia smugly grins as she stands on the balcony, sword grasped in her magic, “I do have to commend you, Raven. You got him weak, and for him to turn his back.” She spreads her wings, “I will never trust you, Necromancer, know that. But, I will extended to you my mercy for you to live in Equestria freely. Remember who rules over you next time you think of being smart.” She takes off from the balcony, heading for Canterlot.

I rush to Sombra, and summon up all the power I have. Her sword is enchanted to kill Necromancers, but it also just makes my job harder. I use all dregs of my power I have, and focus on bringing Sombra back.

With one final surge, he chokes back to life, gasping for air as his face melds back together. He looks over at me, “You saved my life, La muerte estaba tan cerca. Thank you, Raven, thank you so much.”

I smile as I hug him, “Don’t worry, Sombra. We are far from done with Celestia.” I can feel the fire of rage burn within me, “She will pay, she will face justice, and she shall face Death.”

Discord (rewrite)
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The Rise of a Raven

Discord (rewrite)

Sombra and I wait on the train platform, the next train to Ponyville to arrive in a few minutes. As we wait, I hear a set of hooves walk up to us. I turn to see the pink alicorn, Princess Cadence, she smiles as she approaches me, “I heard you were heading back to Ponyville, Ravens Breath. So, before you leave, I have a gift to you from the entire Crystal Empire for freeing us.”

I nod, and smile, “Is it a statue?”

She shakes her head, “No, not a statue, but something a lot more useful. You’re in the far north with nothing but your fur protecting you from the wind. Not to say that it doesn’t look good, but you might get cold.” She pulls black, folded cloth from a pocket space. She hovers it over to me with her magic, “As a gift, from all of us.”

I unfurl the cloth, and see a long, flowing black cloak. I quickly throw it on, letting it drape over me. After a bit of adjusting, I get it to sit comfortably. It covers pretty much my entire body, only allowing my hooves and tail to be seen. A hood sits on it as well, which can be pulled to completely obscure my entire form, or kept down to show my face. I look into a piece of reflective crystal, and see my reflection looking back. I smile with joy as I see my new cloaked form, something about the cloak just clicking with me, making me feel more whole. Also, now I can feel normal with clothes on my body. I turn to face Princess Cadence, and smile with joy, “I love it!”

She smiles on back, “We made sure to enchant it for the future as well, so it can always stay with you. A simple repair spell so no matter the damage that comes to it, it will repair itself. And, a form-fitting spell so that it will change to fit you the best way possible. Say, you wanted a friend to wear it, it would automatically adapt to their form for optimal comfort and coverage.”

I smile, and look at the mana flowing within the cloak, “Well, thank you. This is the first gift I’ve gotten, since... ever I’m pretty sure.” I nod my head, “Your gift is very, very appreciated.”

She nods, “But, well, I wanted to offer you something myself, as a personal thanks.” She raises her head up, “Now, as you may know, I am the Princess of Love.”

I slowly nod, “This personal thanks better not be what I think it is. No freaky deaky.”

Her eyes widen as she snorts laughter in surprise, “What? No, no, no, nothing like that. Mind out of the gutter.” She recovers, “Anyway, as Princess of Love, I can sense love between ponies. So, I wish to offer you a word of advice.” She leans down real close to my ear, “There is someone you know who you can have a great life with. And if you forsake that option of a great life, I will personally hunt you down and force you to love them back.” She then leans back with a smile as the train pulls in, “Welp, looks like you’ve got to go. Thanks for all the help. And, Raven, Sombra, If you two ever need anything, the Empire is in your debt.”

She almost skips off, and Sombra basically pulls me onto the train as I try to process her words. He tries to alleviate my thinking, “She was probably jesting with you about whatever she said.” He yawns as he pulls me to my seat, and throws me into it, “For one so small and with very few organs, you’re quite heavy.” He shakes his head, and hurts himself into his seat, “I’ve always hated trains. Time to fast-forward on life with some sleep.”

I just slightly nod as he falls asleep almost instantly. I have no time to think, as Discord appears in front of me. He smiles, “Well, Raven, here I am. I am a chimera of my word, and I intend to keep it. You wish to know why I know the name of the old world? Prepare for a history lesson.” He snaps his fingers, and a blue and green planet appears like a hologram in the middle of the train car, “I was once a man, living on Tel’la De Rus.”

I laugh a bit, “You expect me to believe that you were a man?”

He nods, “Oh yes, until the Collapse. The end of the fourth age, the death of the Necromancer.”

I stop him, “Wait, hold up, hold up. The Fourth Age was ended by my death?”

He sighs, “Yes. Please, can you just hold up with the questions? I swear on the name of the world that I tell the truth here.” He rolls his head, “Anyway, I was selected at the end of the Fourth Age to ascend into being a God. The Creator, my father, Larson saw the future in store for our world, and knew that a God of Chaos was needed. For, after your death, Chaos was all that reigned. The Men, Orcs, Griffons, Elves, Dwarves, Dragons, even the Gods lost their shared goal of killing you, and turned their hate and violence against each other.”

My eyes widen and my stomach drops, “Just like Edis said...”

Discord sadly nods, “The God of Endings also passed on that day, he knew what was to happen. You doomed the world to destruction and death by allowing yourself to die. However, I do not blame you. To be ostracized for so many millennia, it must’ve been maddening to only have the Beast to talk to. Tell me, Raven, do you still want to go to your afterlife?”

I take a second to process the question, and think, “No... no, I don’t want to die anymore. I have found something in this world that I didn’t in Tel’la De Rus. The Crusaders, Sombra... I couldn’t abandon them to death by the misguided mind of Celestia. I won’t allow myself to find peace, ever, not until they have all passed away.”

Discord nods, “Good, because you have a destiny within this world far greater than the last. In Tel’la De Rus, you were the glue that held us all together. Now, you will be a part of the product. Tel’la De Rus was made a wasteland, all that was left was a handful of dragons, the heroes who killed you, and myself.”

I sigh, “So all died.”

“No, that wasn’t the end of life.” Discord then shows them all floating, connected, allies in desperation. “We created a new world, with all of our powers. Equis, 3,000 years ago, we made it.” A picture of Equis from outside, like the moon or something. “We all became kings of the different big races.” He shows a picture of a Minotaur, “The Orc Paladin became the leader of Minotaurs, and shaped them around Orc culture.” Then a picture of an elk, “The Elf Alchemist ruled over the Elk, connected to nature like him. They eventually all died out, however.” Then he shows a four legged Griffon, “The Griffon became the king of Griffins, even changes their name, and shaped them around the honer of his culture.”

I smile, “And the Dwarves?

Discord laughs, “Yes, I am quite aware of your fondness for Dwarves.” He shows a picture of a... bug pony with Swiss cheese legs? “He became the king of Changelings, a race with the ability to shape shift. They enjoy feasts, and commonly have them. But they feed on love, and invite creatures into their hive, so they have a feast with that creature, and then feed on their love.” He shows a picture of a pony sitting and enjoying a cake with tons of Changelings, “The Changelings are shunned by all races now because of a incident where a hive went to far with a feeding.” Showing a picture of Changelings attacking a city, “You could help them if you want to, they attacked Canterlot out of desperation, and Celestia might trust you. They would be a powerful ally.”

“What about you Discord? What race did you become the king of?” I ask curious.

“Why! Your living in my Empire! Has no one told you why there is no King?” I shake my head, “It’s me! Still is me, always was me! Law in the Equestrian Constitution makes it so a king has to aggre for another to take his place. I never aggreded.” He does an exasperated frown, “See, this is why I hate Celestia! She won’t even tell your ponies about their king so she can ‘protect’ them!”

I open my mouth, “Well-“

He cuts me off, “Yes, Yes I already know of your plan to get Celestia back. Honestly I’d be honored to fight with you.” He admits, “And I will, but you won’t even really need me.”

“Why not?”

“Do you not know?” I shake my head, “Necromancer, Raven, your as powerful as me. Perhaps more powerful. You are at least as powerful as Celestia, in both your lesser forms. But when you both ascend, you will be the most powerful.

I shake my head, “No, can’t be true. I have no ‘ascended’ form.”

“You still have a lot to discover, Ravens Breath.” He then checks a watch that appeared on his wrist, “Oh, looks like we’re out of time. Have a good day!” He then snaps his fingers, and I see Ponyville fast approaching. I decide to push his final message to the back of my mind.

I shake awake Sombra as we pull up to the station, “I’m up, stop shaking!”

As the train stops I turn to him, “Wait for your que.” He nods.

I walk out and see Twilight right before she scoops me up in a hug, “Hey Raven, have a fun trip?”

She sets me back down, “I made a new friend, and he has nowhere to stay. Do you think he could stay with us?”

Twilight smiles, “Of corse, they will just have to share your room. Who is this friend?”

Sombra steps out of the train, giving Twilight a toothy grin, “Hello there, you want some crystals?”

Twilight face falls, “What?”

Author's Note

Exposition in the best way possible!

Louis (rewrite)
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The Rise of a Raven

Louis (rewrite)

Twilight’s new wings flutter in place as she touches the memory orb to her horn. After a second, she hands it back, and I absorb the memories back into my soul. She slowly nods, “Celestia really did that?” She sighs, “We just lost the Elements to the Tree as well, so we cannot do a single thing.”

I shake my head, “Twilight, there is no need to worry. If you still truely wish to gain access to my magical knowledge, then I will ask of you one more thing.”

She looks up, “What is that?”

I nod, “Cover my tracks, do not let Celestia know where I am. Keep the caregivers of the Crusaders busy for a week, that is all I ask. Leave it up to me to take care of Celestia.”

She snorts out a laugh, “Okay, what do you want me to actually do? Look, you might be minorly powerful, but you cannot take on Celestia and hope to live.”

I look her dead on the eyes, “I do share your doubts in my power, Twilight. However, my power doesn’t matter here, for it is my cold rage that shall be the power to fight her. She wishes to bully people, to kill them? She is no better than Brutus, and her fate shall be the same. I held my own against her with my own determination before, but now? Now, I have a true purpose in her death.”

She sighs, “Alright, I can do that. What are you going to do, though?”

I look at Sombra, and the two of us share a nod, “Sombra, the Crusaders, and I are going to find allies. Minotaurs, Changelings, Griffons, at least one of them have to help us. We leave now, off to Dodge City, to the Changelings.”

She nods, “Alright, just be careful. Good luck.”

I walk out of the library, my new robes obscuring all but my head to passing ponies and the burning sun. Said ponies all look at the mass of shadows next to me with some worry, but continue along. Sombra floats within a dark mist as we move towards the Clubhouse.

We eventually arrive after a minute trot. I can see the Crusaders practicing their magic, and I summon up another memory orb. They see me coming, and all rush up to me. Bloom and Scootaloo stop next to me, but Sweetie goes in for a full hug. I can see out my peripheral that Sombra’s head leans up right next to mine, “Bit dangerous there, Raven. Lot’a people don’t like loli.”

I snort a laugh as Sweetie pulls back. I turn to face his head out of the mist, “Come off it, Sombra, I am a foal.”

The mist coalesces into his full body, and he grins, “Yeah, yeah, sure you are. Niño de corazón, pedófilo en mente.“

I sigh, and throw the memory orb at the Crusaders, “Watch this.”

It connects with all three of them, allowing them to see the memory inside. Their eyes clear after a second, and I reabsorb the orb. Scootaloo’s wings buzz an angry tone, “So, what’re we going to do about Celestia?”

I smile, “We are going to get some allies.”

———

“Last stop, Dodge City!” The train intercom buzzes.

We walk off of the train only to be met with the blistering heat of the sun on scorched sand. Dodge City looks like it was ripped right out a Western, the very definition of a frontier town. Ponies walk around in vests with hats pulled over their head, making us stand out especially. My cloak’s black color clashing with the yellow sand, and Sombra’s royal robes a car call from the brown vests and dusters of the ponies around us. Not to mention a group of four goals being lead by a stallion in royal wear being a strange sight. What was strange to us, however, was the sound of conflict.

A group of no more than five ponies all surrounding a Changeling with blunt instruments, bats and pipes. They beat him, and two Royal Guards stand by the side watching. I growl with anger as I see them, and intervene. I throw my hood off my head, and summon up skeletal hands from beneath the five. I grasp all of them, and throw them against the nearby buildings. I walk up to one stallion in particular, and face him towards me, “What have we here? A stallion and his friends beating something senseless?”

He spits at me, “How about you just mind your damned business?”

I slowly apply pressure on him, squeezing him, more and more, “Oh, I was about to ask the same question. What business have you to hurt that Changeling?”

“You know what he is? He was trying to steal our foals!” He yells.

I lean in, and increase the pressure more, “Wrong answer, friend. How about you tell me the truth before I decide to pop your insignificant head off your shoulders?”

“It’s a Changeling! They don’t belong, they don’t deserve to get to walk our streets!” He yells out in pain.

I look him right in the eye, “So, I was right.” I throw him on the ground, and allow the hand to slam on him like a drum, “You’re just a miserable racist. You think it’s cool to beat someone else up because they aren’t like you? To make them a damned pariah because you cannot comprehend within your tiny brain that they are also alive!?” I allow the hand to slam down upon him some more, “Maybe you would like to feel the same pain he did?” Skeletons raise out of the ground, and carry huge bones in the shape of bats and pipes. They all get closer, and he tries to crawl away, only to run into the building. They inch closer and closer as he screams and looks at them with fear evident in his eyes. I stop them right as they get in front of him, “Stop. I will not stoop to his level.” They return to the ground, and I approach right up close to his face, “I recommend you start running.”

He gets up and limps down the street, all the other ponies also being released. I hear Sweetie shout from behind me, “Raven, he needs some help!”

I walk to the Changeling, and heal him, “Hey, hey, it’s going to be fine, your okay.”

He looks at me, “Thank you, I was sure they would kill me.”

I smile down at him as I finish healing, “Can you tell me your name?”

He smiles back at me, “Louis, my name’s Louis.”

I nod, “A fine name, I like it.”

He tilts his head, “Really? Most ponies say Changeling names a weird. Now, may I have the honor of knowing your name?”

“I’m Ravens Breath,” I point to Sombra, “That’s Sombra,” Apple, “That’s Apple Bloom,” Scootaloo, “That’s Scootaloo,” and Sweetie, “And finally, Sweetie Belle. We’re a group of friends, and we need you help.”

He nods, “What can I do? I’m in your debt.”

I nod, “We need to talk to the King of Changelings. And we want you to lead us, Louis.”

He looks at all of us, “Okay, but it’s a days trip, and you don’t look like your carrying enough supplies for the trek.”

I smile as I raise all of in the air using a giant skeleton hand, “I can get us there in an hour, then.”

He smiles back, “Let’s go then!”

And so the six of us set off, towards Ragnar.

Ragnar (rewrite)
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The Rise of a Raven

Ragnar (rewrite)

We ride the giant hand over the badlands, bones of all sorts supporting our journey. I look over to Louis, “So, Louis, why were you in the town?”

He sighs, “I was starving, and I needed food. My entire hive died out after the Siege, so I had to fetch it myself. Blue Hive has never been as good at infiltration as our Green brethren, we’ve always had a comfortable life healing any pony we found in the desert. But, after the incident with the foal, ponies no longer care if we’re Green, Red, Blue, or Brown. Now, we either find love on our own, or we die. The few Changeling left are part of Red or Green, both my and Brown’s hive being wiped out.”

I turn to him with a sympathetic eye, “I’m sorry, I truly am. If all goes according to plan, then we might get ponies to accept you all.”

Sombra smiles at him, “Don’t worry, pequeño caballo insecto negro, we will make a place for you in Equestria. Celestia is a close headed fool, hasta que lleguemos a ella.”

I turn to face him, “Alright, can we stop with the Spanish thing?”

He shakes his head, “You think I can just stop myself from using my native language? That’ll be a no, Cuervos Aliento.”

I sigh as I see the huge hive approaching us. I slowly lower us to the ground, until we come in to a stop right in front of two guards on the doors of the hive. One of them shouts at us, “State your name, rank, and occasion!”

Louis moves forward, “The ponies are with me. We are to see the High King.”

The soldier scoffs, “You aren’t in charge of us anymore. We decide wether or not you get through this gate.”

A rough and loud male voice interrupts them from behind, “Actually, that would be me, private!” The Changeling moves forward, his most defining trait being his bright red eyes and his leather jacket. He nods to Louis, “Come on in, if you say these ponies have important business.”

We walk in, and I can barely hear one of the guards stomach growl as Sweetie walks past them. They turn to look at her, but a glare from me snaps their head back into position. I turn to see Louis and the new changeling talking, “These ponies saved my life at Dodge.”

I can hear Sombra snicker to himself, “Then we got the hell out of Dodge.”

I sigh at his pun as we continue on, but I can’t help but smile at it. I turn to face him, “Sombra, since when have you been the joking type?”

He smiles, “Since birth. Un hombre que ríe siempre está preparado para continuar esa sonrisa incluso cuando apuñalan a alguien en el ojo.“

I smile, “So, you were always prepared to stab eyes then?”

He nods, “Oh yes, como cualquier buen rey sería.“

We enter a massive chamber, and I drop the conversation. Louis turns to face me, “Welcome, to the Hall of Hives.” He nods at the changeling that was walking with us, “He’s Francis, if he gets pissy about you, don’t worry, it’s normal. He has anger issues, and is the King of the Red Hive.” He points over to another corner where a changeling sits with a cigar in his mouth, “That’s Bill, chronic smoker since birth. King of the Brown Hive, even if all of his subjects are dead.” He moves to point to another corner with a Queen in it, “Chrysalis, Queen of the Green Hive.” He smiles, “You already know me, Louis, King of the Blue Hive, even if all of it is gone.”

A voice shouts down at us from above, “And you? You are the Necromancer.” I look up to see a changeling with a crown sitting upon his throne smiling down upon me, “My name is Ragnar, High King of Changelings!” He jumps down from his throne, and lands in front of me. He quickly bows before me, “And I missed your heart. I beg for you to forgive me for failing your final request.”

I lean down, and pick him up to his hooves, “You have no need to apologize, Ragnar. Your mistake actually played in my favor, else I would be in the afterlife away from the happiness I have found here.” I smile, “Besides, I know a way you can repay me for your mistake.”

He looks me in the eye, “Tel’la De Rus fell after your departure. You are the being that held us together, and I feel your destiny here shall be no different. Whatever you wish, I shall do as long as it is not evil or insane.”

I nod, “I move against Celestia, and I need help from more than just skeletons. Changelings have suffered for too long under Celestia, a gross misuse of her power. Join me, Ragnar, Changeling and Equestrian shall live in peace and satisfaction.”

He looks at me a second more, before looking around the hive, “Our race will die out soon. If we are given the choice to starve and do nothing or to fight and possibly live, then we will fight. Necromancer, my Changelings are yours.”

I smile, “Prefect. Prepare your forces, infiltrate Changelings. We move in a week, after I gather any other allies.”

I turn around, and start to make my way out of the hive. All five of us walk out, until we hear hooves running up to us, “Wait, please!” I turn around to see Louis run up to me, “I want to go with you.”

I tilt my head, “Why?”

He smiles, “You helped me as I was beaten by ponies who knew no better. I think, if I were to maybe help spread goodness with you, ponies may see Changelings a bit better. Also, well, you’re a friend, and I would like to travel with you.”

I take a second before nodding, “Alright then. We set off for Griffonstone.”

Griffonstone (rewrite)
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The Rise of a Raven

Griffonstone (rewrite)

Bones raise from the sea to carry us along at the speed of a plane, our need to get over the Griffonian Sea quickly inspiring such haste. Louis looks at the horizon and ocean beyond, “It’s beautiful up here. So far away from hate, from prejudice. Up here, I feel no fear for the ponies that may find me.”

I step over to him, and rest my hoof on his shoulder, “And you will have no need to fear whilst you’re with us. If any creature of any kind tries to harm any one of us, I will rip their skull out of their ass. Their scorn, their hatred? It is naught to try and pierce our friendship, our unity.”

Scootaloo nods, and smiles, “You’re very honest with your thoughts, and I can appreciate that. So, I’m going to be honest when I say that I will gladly join Raven in his skull ripping.”

Bloom follows her up, “Same for me, and I’m pretty sure all of us here. Don’t let anyone touch any of us and get through us. And I will definitely stay loyal to my promise to follow right after Scootaloo and Raven, but I’ll go for the neck.”

Sweetie then moves up next to me, and places her hoof on his opposite shoulder, “You’re still keeping your heart open even when most would’ve fallen into the same hatred and scorn as your haters. It is an ultimate kindness you have done by not giving in. And I will also be there, and I will be very generous with any punishment given to a detractor.”

We all turn to face Sombra as he coughs out black smoke from his mouth. After a coughing fit that makes a dark cloud of smoke, he clears his throat, “Oh, sorry, King of Shadow and all that. And, oh boy, that’s a lot of foreshadowing right there.” He coughs once more, “Um, I guess their lives would be jokes anyway? So, why not laugh at the joke as you run it into the ground? Except, unlike everyone else, I will go after the eyes with my sharp spikes of crystal.”

I smile, and turn back to face Louis as music starts to play in the air. Louis looks around with worry, “Oh no, it’s the singing curse.”

I absentmindedly tap my hoof to the beat set by the music, “Music curse?”

He sighs, “Ponies can be overwhelmed with passing magic and it will make them sing and dance in prefect sync to the music that comes out of nowhere.”

His words come true, as one of us begin to sing. Sweetie Belle starts the song first, her voice sounding almost like an angels as she sings.

”Don’t you know you shouldn’t worry about a thing?
With all of us around it doesn’t matter if your a changeling.
You’ve shown to have a generous heart and mind,
A better group of friends you’ll never find.”

Sombra then adds in as well, the music sounding like its out a Saturday morning cartoon. His deep bass voice contrasts heavily, especially with his Spanish flair.

Come on Louis my friend, I am El rey de la sombra,
We turn bad to good, le damos al mal un nuevo nombra.
Come on, put a smile on your face, duele verte tan triste
You have naught to fear, not with me here, si nuestro amigo fuiste”

Scootaloo falls to it, even if her rough voice isn’t the best to be sung with.

”There is no need to cower, no need to flee,
As long as you keep to your word, to your honesty,
Then go and spread you wings, go on and soar!
With us here with you, you have to fear no more!”

Apple Bloom moves in next, the music leaving no one left over.

”We’re here to be the greatest friends that can ever be,
Nothing to break through our loyalty.
So there’s no need to be remiss,
With us, we’ll go all over Equis!”

I suddenly start to sing myself, even I am slave to mana and it’s will.

”There is no need to hide from attack mental or physical,
Me failing is but a legend and is naught but mythological.
With you at my side, you stand next to a Necromancer,
Nothing can kill you, Celestia and not even cancer.”

Louis looks up at us, before his eyes widen and he quickly joins in.

”Thank you for your words, to make me show no fear,
But I don’t think that’s what the big problem is here!
I don’t mean to criticize or to bash,
But into a city we’re about to crash!”

The music suddenly stops as I turn the way he’s facing, and see the city of Griffonstone right in front of us. I quickly get rid of the skeleton hand, and shout out, “Brace yourselves!”

I allow myself to go limb as possible as I am sent flying through the air. I see Louis turn himself into a ball, and Sombra just goes mist form. The Crusaders are left screaming as we fly into the main square.

I manage to twist in the air as I see the wall approaching me at fast speed. I land sideways on it, and fall to the ground with only my hooves broken and only indentations in the wall. I can see Scootaloo accidentally hit a Griffon to the ground on her entrance, the rest of the Crusaders come in safely. Sombra floats down, and Louis rolls up next to the Griffon. He quickly turns back to himself, and starts to tend to the Griffon.

I heal my hooves, and stand back upon them. The worst thing is dust on my cloak which comes off easily enough. I look back up to Louis, only to see him being held in a chokehold by the Griffon. I’m about to move to him, when Apple Bloom comes to the side, kicking the wings of the Griffon. They catch on fire with balefire, and start to burn down to the bone.

I rush on over to the Griffon as it drops Louis and drops on the ground, screeching in pain. I numb the pain just enough so they can listen, and I speak to them, “Look, I don’t know why you are, all I know is that your an asshat. So, here’s the deal, I heal you, you help us. Or, I can let the fire burn and you’ll be flightless all your life.”

She squeaks as the pain returns, “Deal!”

I smile, and fix her wing back to normal. I allow her to stand up, before nodding, “I am Ravens Breath.”

She glares at me, “Gilda. And let me guess, you’re from Ponyville. All you Ponyville dweebs are so easy to see.” She sighs, “Whatever, just tell me what you want me to do.”

I smile, “Good, good. I want you to lead us all to the King.”

She smiles, before letting out laughter, “King? What, have you been living under a rock? Only one who talks about the King anymore is Grampa Grump, and he’s old enough to have been with the King. What, you want me to lead you to him or something?”

I nod, “If this Gruff might know about the King, then yes.”

She points down a street, “His nest is the third one on the right. Can I go now?”

I nod, “Thank you.”

She walks off, “Whatever, dweebs.”

We all move down the road, and I turn to face the third one on the right. An old Griffon sits outside, and he looks down at us, “Eh? What’re you doing here?”

I smile, and step forward, “I heard you might know something about the King?”

He nods, “Aye, I know about the King. That old mage and I were friends. Until he found that damned idol.”

I tilt my head, “Idol?”

He nods, “Aye, the Idol. It served us many a decade by uniting the griffons together under the ultimate treasure, but he wanted to know why it was the best. Many have called it many different names. Idol of Boreas, Totem of Purification, Clenser of Minds, Holy Grail.”

My mind catches onto one of those that jump out at me, “Totem of Purification? Why would it be called that?”

He shrugs, “Nobody knew, and it drove the King mad to not know why the Idol was so respected. He decided to dive deep into it with magical tests, but his soul was trapped within the Idol. Since his fall, and the Idol’s fall into the Abysmal Abyss. No one has retrieved it, and the great kingdom collapsed. Now, well, you see what happened.”

I look at the others, and we all nod, “Then it is up to us to get the Idol.”

He just shrugs, “If you want to, I don’t care. Just get off my property.”

I move out, and we all start to go towards the Abyss. On the way there, I create a rope of bones in the ground. By the time we get there, I have a full on rope, and I hand it to Apple Bloom, “Keep me away from the winds, I feel I wouldn’t be able to escape from them.”

She nods, and holds the rope resolutely. I walk up to the edge of the Abyss, and jump in.

I go about fifty feet until the rope stops, and I find myself right in front of a platform. However, the wind is too strong, and I’m thrown into the wall. I flail my limbs in an attempt to steady myself. That is, until I feel hooves steadying me. Sombra stands on the ledge, and stops me from swinging, “Let’s get the Idol, quickly!”

He turns to pick up the Idol, only to have the ledge start to crack beneath him.

He looks up and looks me right in the eyes as the ledge breaks, “I knew I shouldn’t have chosen an iron coat.”

The stone breaks beneath him, and he begins to fall. I reach out with all my strength, and just barely manage to catch him above the Abyss. Sombra is right near the Idol which is wobbling on a very small ledge. He shouts up to me, “Swing me, Bloom! I have to reach the Idol!”

He starts to slowly slip, “Sombra, my grip is weakening!”

He looks up at me, “Swing me already! I might be able to survive the winds if I fall! And the Idol is about to fall!”

Apple Bloom looks over the side, and starts to pull us up, “I’m not gonna take that chance.”

Sombra tries in vein to reach towards the Idol, “¡Vamos, maldito ídolo, sopla de esta manera, no te atrevas a caer!”

The Idol slowly falls on it’s side, falling deep into the winds of the Abyss. I can hear it clatter all the way down. Apple Bloom pulls us over the side, and Sombra turns to face her, “¡Maldito tonto, acabas de condenar a toda la especie a la pobreza y la muerte!”

Apple Bloom stands her ground, “I couldn’t let you risk your life for this. If I let you swing there, it would be the greatest betrayal.”

I nod, and put my hoof on Sombra’s shoulder, “Don’t worry, there’s still the Minotaurs.”

He sighs, “You’re right. Let us set out for them.”

Starburst (rewrite)
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The Rise of a Raven

Starburst (rewrite)

We travel over a large stretch of desert towards the Minotaur lands in the west. I turn around to see the Crusaders sleeping, with Louis turning into a blanket to keep them warm, and to sleep himself. The only one awake other than me is Sombra, and his eyes seem droopy, “I don’t know how, but sleep seems like it’s getting more appealing now that I’m not filled with dark magic. I always thought sleep was wasteful, a way to pass a good few hours without accomplishing anything. Such a waste of good time. You could use that time to laugh and enjoy your life, to learn and train, but we forsake those hours with our body’s incessant needs.”

I look on over to him, “You’re immortal, you have plenty of time to do all of that.”

He nods, “Si, but these ponies I surround myself with now? Their time on Equis is a blink compared to ours. Those three foals, they will pass only a hundred or so years from now. Even from our short time together, I can feel a connection with all of them. Friendship, but almost some type of advanced friendship that reminds of being hit by Los Elementos. To see them pass will be devastating to all of us.”

I breathe in a bit, until I eventually decide to reveal it, “Sombra... they aren’t going to-“ I take a deep yawn, and can feel myself stumble around. I can barely see a field of mana that we pass through. I collapse to the ground, and can see Sombra do the same as I let go of my control over the bone hands. I yawn, and whisper the final word into Sombra’s ear, “die.”

———

I start to stir in a bed, and my eyes slowly open. I see all six of us locked into some sort of cell. I can see Sombra awake as well, and he looks towards me. The others stir, and he looks at the Crusaders before cutting back to me. His eyes ask a silent question, ‘They won’t?’

I silently nod back, and I can see his expression of joy become a lot more stressed and forced, and it seems like a weight has been lifted from him. The others all wake up, and take in their surroundings as well.

I look out the cell to see rows upon rows of shelves, all filled to the brim with books. It’s a sight that would make Twilight weep in joy. Some strange creature of stone walks up to our cell, and opens it. It looks at us with the same empty expression, and motions us to follow it. Everyone looks at me, and I nod, “Let’s see where he’ll take us.”

And so we all walked out of the cage, and I can feel my magic very weakened. I look at the others, and their sluggish movements would say the same happened to them. Only Sombra walks normally as his body seems to absorb the shadows casted by the torches and bookcases that line the walls.

The creature leads us into what appears to be a dining room. A large table sits in the center of the room, surrounded by walls filled with even more books. A unicorn sits at the head of the table, a dark and very unkempt one. His eyes are dark black, and are busy reading from a book. He wears a hat which seems to be a black hole, seemingly absorbing all the light around him with it’s stark darkness, and only a single decorative bell is at the end of his hat, jingling only due to the fragments of bone inside. His coat is the color of the leather bound book he flips through, although most of it is covered by a battered cape that seems to represent a supernova with a dark red surrounded by very dark purple. The most defining thing about him would seem to be his beard, turned a very dark grey from improper care, and it is very unkempt and greasy. It’s clear this is not a pony who cares for himself or what others may think about his appearance, or his smell. The smell of ink surrounds him, almost overpowering the smell of the feast on the table.

He looks up, and smiles with dirty, stained, yellow teeth, “Ah, you finally woke. Good, good! Come, take a seat, enjoy the food. It’ll replenish itself anyway.”

I hesitantly take a seat, and the others follow suit, “I am Ra-“

“I know!” He cuts me off, “I know, I know, do not think I do not know. Do not dare patronize me by thinking I do not know who you are. I’ve studied five of you, throughly, with the exclusion of the shadow king. I know everything there is to know about you. Apple Bloom, farm girl born a month before her parents died, you hate bananas. Scootaloo, orphan with delusions of grandeur, adoptive sister of Rainbow Dash, listens to Neighkleback. Louis, King of the Blue Hive, MD from Baltimare University, had an addiction to pain pills fifty years ago. Ravens Breath, mysterious Necromancer who stood up to Celestia and saved the Crystal Empire from shadow. Sweetie Belle, sister to Rarity, embarrassed to be caught singing even though you’re good, love-“

She interrupts him now, “Shut up! You don’t just get to insult us all like that!”

He glares at her, “Oh, I suppose you want my name instead of me spilling your secrets?” He turns to all of us, “I forgot my name back before. Now, I go by a simple name based off what I am. I am Starburst the Caped. I know everything there is to know. Why aren’t you eating?” He slams his hoof on the table, “Eat!”

Sombra glares at him, “Why? Have you poisoned the food?”

He shakes his head, “No! What do you think I am, a fool!? I know everything, poison was a bad option. You need to be alive for the magic to come out. Need energy, good eating, food inside, grow magic. I need to sate my hunger as well, all of this magic here has got me starved! Did you know two hundred twenty books in here were made by the same author? Eat!”

Sombra stands up, “No, we’re going to leave.”

Starburst slams his hoof down once more, and stands up from his table, “No you are not! I will slay you and take your magic that way if I have to!”

Sombra lights up his horn, and glares at Starburst, “Mi nombre es Sombra, Rey de la Oscuridad, y no permitiré que lastimes a mis amigos.”

Starburst tilts an eyebrow, “Ah, you speak Sponish? Where are you from, Haysolona or Maredrid?”

Sombra narrows his eyes, “Soy de Maredrid, aunque sé que ya no está. Pero esta pequeña charla no te salva, Starburst, nos iremos.”

Starburst laughs, “And how are you going to get past me?”

He uses his magic to levitate all the books in the room, “You forget, Starburst. Knowledge is power, especially if it’s a hardback!” And with this Sombra pulls all the books down from their shelves, and hits the Watcher with the swarm of old books.

They all hit, but seem to dissolve on touch with Starburst. He looks up, and shouts out in rage, “Those were centuries old! You incompetent fool!”

“Perhaps it’s time for you to fully become a bookworm!” He then moves all the dust from the books into a dark mist, and floats it over to Starburst. “Careful, you might become a smoker!” Sombra then commands the dust mist to flow into Starburst’s nostrils.

Starburst coughs roughly, but he doesn’t accomplish a thing, “I know! I know how to beat this!”

Sombra grins, “Did I hear you say ‘beat’?” He grabs a chair with his magic, and smahes Starburst in the head with it. He then turns it around, and slams it directly into his spine, “Careful, that chair will mess up your posture!”

Starburst coughs as he lies on the ground, “Why are you laughing!? Why are you joking!? You’re killing me you sociopath!”

Sombra bashes him in the back once more, “Thought I already would’ve. Tough crowd, I’m telling you, slapstick doesn’t seem that effective.” He smiles down at him, “Come now Starburst, with all that knowledge, I think your close to bursting!”

He then draws out all the dust and smoke from inside Starburst’s body, drawing it out of every pore on his body. He screams in pain, “Please kill me!”

And so Sombra summons a crystal spear, and cuts off Starbrust’s horn, “So many mares around, I think you might get horny!” And then stabs the horn through one of Starburst’s eyes, “Man, forgive me, that was such an eyesore!” He then takes his spear out again, and stabs him through the head. He smiles down at the body as Starburst fades away, “Well, looks like even with all that knowledge, your head was empty in the end.” With the end of the show, we all hesitate for a second before applauding, and he bows, “Thank you! Thank you! I’ll be here all week! Actually, no I won’t, we’re leaving.”

I walk up to him, “Sombra, sometimes you disturb me, but that was beautiful.”

He smiles back at me, “As is my goal. Come now, we’ve lost time.”

Sweetie (rewrite)
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The Rise of a Raven

Sweetie (rewrite)

The stop at the Library of Starburt’s has put us back on schedule, apparently we were out for a day and a half. Sombra smiles as he looks at the city in the distance, “Ah, beautiful Romeus Crete. I remember being here when I was a foal. Known for having the biggest, and only, arena in the world.

Louis seems a bit put off as he sniffs the air, “I can sense no happiness, only anger, hate, and pain.”

I shrug, “They’re ran by an Orc, must be a warrior society. Anger, pain, hate? Those are promoted, cherished even by them.” I slowly lower us to the ground, and we start to walk on a path to the main city.

As we walk to the city, we see sick and injured Minotaurs laying on the path, vultures circle above them and even feast on a few that have already passed. Sweetie speaks up, “Raven, please, stop.” We all stop, and turn to face Sweetie, “We need to help them, they are all dying!” Sweetie demands.

I sigh, “I’m sorry, but we can’t. My magic is already low as is from the fatigue field back at Starburt’s, and I need to conserve it for Celestia.”

“How do we help them, then?” Sweetie pleads.

I sigh, “Short of making the King do it, not much.”

Sweetie looks determinedly forward, “Then that’s what we will do! I’ll even fight them for it if I have to!”

Scootaloo looks sadly over to her, “Even with the magic Raven gave us you’d be killed.”

“I don’t care, I’ll help anyway!” Sweetie says with sureness in her tone. “Raven, let’s go find this king, and if he will not listen, I will defeat him.”

I determine my options, “Fine.” And we move on, I sigh, “Sweetie Belle, you’ve no need to attack the King. You forget about who you’re talking to.” I then whisper in her ear, “Commands like that and you’ll have Sombra telling jokes about me being whipped.”

Sweetie smiles a little, and whispers back, “Maybe his jokes will have some merit to them, then.”

I pull away, and my mind goes into overdrive as I walk. Cadence talked about someone loving me. But Sweetie? No, surely not, impossible. Well, she was always hugging me and has been exceptionally nice to me. But love? I have no idea. I will admit, there is a feeling I have towards her I do not towards the others. But is this love I feel?

I’m knocked out of my thoughts as I realize I’m standing at the gates of the castle. I see two guards near the gates, and approach them, “We seek audience with the King.

“The King is open to discussion, you may go through.” One guard says as he opens the gate to the throne room.

We see the king on his throne, chugging some grog before looking down at us, “Visaters! Daz somtin diffent. And such a odd group s’ well! Speak!”

Sweetie steps forward, taking the initiative before me, “The injured and sick on the road, we demand that they be healed and given housing.”

The King laughs uproariously, “Oh yeah? You demand, little pony? An what if I said no to these demandz. Cuz I do! No!”

Sweetie looks furious, but Scootaloo puts a hoof on her shoulder, “You can’t Sweetie. This is not opinion, but fact, he would tear you apart!”

I see Sweetie’s face fall as she realizes the words ring true. I growl, the sadness on her face making me feel a rage stronger than ever before. Not the cold rage against Celestia, not a terrible rage like Brutus, but a hot, right rage to protect one dear to me. I step up, and yell at the King, “Very well then! I, Ravens Breath of Tel’la De Rus, challenge you to one on one combat in the arena to uphold Sweetie’s demands and honor!”

Sweetie looks at me in horror, “No, Raven! You don’t have to do this for me! He’ll kill you!”

I look over to her with a smirk, “You forget who you’re talking to, my dear Sweetie.”

She shakes her head, “I know damned well who I’m talking to! You may be able to make an illusion of yourself popping your head off but you cannot survive going up against one like that!”

I smile, “I don’t care if I won’t survive, because I know he definitely won’t. You know not the extent of my powers, but I will gladly use them to protect your interests.” I turn to face the King, “Well!? Are you too much of a coward to fight me!?”

The Kings laughter picks up, “Oh! Dat’s hilarious! Very well, let’s go to ze arena den.” He then walks out of the room, and we follow.

We soon find ourselves in an equipment room, where another Minotaur waits. He motions to my friends, “Say your last goodbyes to your friend here.” He then turns to me, “Choose whatever you want from the equipment, me weapons from outside here are to be used, with the exception of magic.”

The Minotaur walks out, and the others all come up to me, all saying different words of luck.

All but Sweetie walk out the room after they say their spiel. Sweetie looks down, “You don’t have to do this, please, we can just leave.

I look over to her with a smile, “My dear Sweetie Belle, I have to do this. The Minotaurs outside are dying as we speak, you said it yourself. I know if we left, you’d be devastated, and I cannot allow that to happen.”

She then grabs me in a deep hug, “Please come back okay. None of us want to lose you, none want to lose a friend. Maybe... maybe someone more than a friend.”

I lean back, and look her right in the eyes, “Back in the Crystal Empire, Princess Cadence told me that someone I knew loved me. Someone I could have a great life with. With what you said earlier today about Sombra’s jokes maybe having merit, it got me thinking. I thought on every interaction we’ve had, and I saw signs in your actions. I have to ask. Sweetie Belle, are you the one Cadence was talking about?”

She looks down, undoubtedly with a blush on her face, “Yes, Raven. I like you, like like you. At first it was looks. Ponyville’s colt population is rather lacking on dapper and handsome colts. You were like a fresh apple surronded by rotten broccoli. But when you stood up to Diamond and Silver, I started to actually pay attention to you. Since then, it’s all been the same. You’re intelligent, perceptive, brave. You don’t just sit to the sidelines, but you don’t ever do anything for your own reasons. You always are doing something to help somepony else. You stood up to Diamond after she insulted us, you only went against the Timberwolves because they threatened us, you are only after Celestia because she killed Sombra and threatened us, you beat the ponies at Dodge City because they were hurting Louis, you went after the Idol only after hearing about the state it caused Griffonstone to fall into, even now you are fighting because of me. You always try to make peace before attacking. Whenever you sung and decided to dance with me first, I just felt something click. You’ve always been so supportive and nice to us. And, well, I think I do love you.”

I nod, “I cannot claim to know what love feels like. For all my life I’ve felt only hatred and fear, and only a minor acceptance from my minions. Even when I sacrifice myself for the world I could feel people continue to hate me for something I have no control over. I was unfortunate to be a Necromancer, one powerful enough to not die, one whom everyone hated. I kept away from people, and the ones who came after me only showed me hatred and rage. Love has been a mystery outside of my reach, something I know I can feel, but I have no idea what it feels like. Out of all of our friends, you’ve always been the one who’s been the most accepting of me. You always listened, always smiled, hugged me for stuff that was mundane. You showed a kindness to me I’ve never felt before. Now, there’s a feeling I have towards you that I’ve never felt before. Something foreign and strange. It’s not joy or happiness, but something more than both of them. Around you, more than everyone else, this emotion tugs me towards you, and when I’m around you I am reminded of why I don’t want to die anymore. In Tel’la De Rus, I died on purpose, allowed the heroes to slay me and accepted my afterlife with open arms. But when Celestia was bringing down her sword towards you, and towards me, I realized that I don’t want to go to my afterlife anymore. But I want you to die even less. If someone were to swing a soul rendering weapon towards you, I would save you without any hesitation. And if anyone decides to insult you, then I feel a rage towards them like no other.”

Sweetie Belle looks up at me, “Raven... are you saying you feel the same for me?”

I look her dead in the eye, “Yes, Sweetie Belle, I think I love you too.”

She smiles, blush still evident on her cheeks, and leans in. She lightly kisses me, and then leans back, “Raven, will you be my special somepony?”

The feel of her lips upon mine, it feels right. It seems so obvious now. My heart tugs at me, and my mind opens up all the way. An entire new part of my brain starts to work, filling me with pure bliss and happiness. I smile, and kiss Sweetie Belle back. I lean back, a smile adorning my muzzle more sincere and genuine than any smile I’ve used before, “Yes, Sweetie Belle, I will be your special somepony.”

She smiles, and hugs me deeply once more, “Go out there and destroy him for me, Raven.”

I nod, and remember something. I pull a giant stuffed Ursa Minor from it’s pocket dimension. I smile as I give it over to Sweetie Belle, “I won this back in the Empire. And, well, it’s a gift. For our future, after Celestia lays dead.”

She takes it in her own magic, and looks over at the clock, “We’ve kept the crowd waiting. Put on you armor and grab your weapon Raven, and I will shout your name when you win.”

She walks out, allowing me to peruse the weapons. I search, until I find a nice bronze staff laying in it’s own dust. I pick it up, and swing it around a bit. I smile, think about who I’m using it for, and walk out into the arena.

The arena is about as big as Ponyville town square, the craftsman ship that went into it obvious. I see the King dressed out in full bronze armor, with a giant claymore in his hands, and looking suprised that I picked up nothing but my cloak, “Who is youz who’s faced me vit no armor?”

I smile, look over to where my friends are sitting, and shout back, “I already told you, Orc. I am Ravens Breath, and I will not allow you to insult Sweetie’s name!”

And we have time to prepare, him by testing the weight of his weapon, and me by planning. The announcer comes on, “Welcome to Romeus Crete’s arena! In one side is Ravens Breath! To defend his lady’s honor, and to get us to help the injured Minotaur outside the city! The other side is our King defending his decision to leave them, and his mighty honor! Combatants ready? Let’s begin!”

The king charges me instantly, I wait. He gets close, I wait. Even as he stabs forward, I simply stand there with a grin. His sword pierces all the way through me, going through my front and being embedded into the ground behind me. I can hear every voice in the crowd gasp. I hear one specific shout from Sweetie, “Raven!”

I look over to Sweetie, and give her a calm smile. I turn to face the King, and give him the same smile, “Oh, you have no idea how much this hurts. Thought you could take me out with a simple blow like that? Running me through with a simple bronze sword? This pain I feel? You’ll feel ten fold for making Sweetie Belle sad.”

I raise the staff with my magic, and smack him on the head with it. The bronze staff breaks, and sends him sprawling to the ground. He staggers up again, only to be grabbed by a skeletal hand. I start to move forward, forcing the claymore into my body even more. I push myself forward as I reach the hilt, forcing it through my body as well. I move forward until I’m right in front of him. I spit in his face, “Fuck you, you insufferable Orcish cunt.” I punch him right in the face with all my surpriseing strength, “Think you can just kick down my damned door and allow youself in?” I punch him once more, “That you can just forsake my hospitality and not have a bite to eat?” I summon up the pain I felt from the stab wound, and I growl in his face, “That you can make my dear Sweetie Belle sad?”

His eyes seem to clear with recognition and he looks at me, “Necromancer?”

I narrow my eyes, and summon up my magic. My rage at him giving me enough as to make him feel the pain I did multiplied by then. His screams of pure pain and agony wash over the arena. I lean in very close to his ear, “Now, you’d better help those Minotuars, or I will make the pain worse.”

He yells out, “I am defeated! I surrender! I’ll help the damned Minotuars!”

With that said, the announcer cuts back in, and I drop him to the ground, ”And in a shocking twist Ravens Breath takes the entire claymore and then defeats the King! This is truely unprecedented!”

I turn around and walk back into the equipment room. I’m met with yet another deep hug from Sweetie as soon as I enter. She smiles, “You could’ve told us you could do stuff like that!”

Scootaloo mearly smiles from the side, “Is there something we should know about you two?”

Sweetie backs away, and blushes once more, “Well, Raven is now my... special somepony.”

Sombra looks at me, and laughs a tiny bit, “Nice job, Raven. Sé que los inmortales necesitamos algo de felicidad.“

“If it make’s Sweetie happy then I’m in full support of it.” Apple Bloom comments.

“Think I could feed of that love if I’m in need?” Louis asks.

Sweetie and I blush, yes, even I can be embarrassed. I look up, and try to guide the topic away from that, “So, who’s ready to return to Ponyville?”

Sombra laughs, and walks out of the room with everyone else following. Other than Sweetie.

We turn to each other, and Sweetie gives me another kiss, “Thank you for doing that, and for helping those in need.”

I smile as we head out, “Definitely worth it, especially for you.”

Author's Note

Now, this is given actual reasoning for happening.

Beast (rewrite)
View Online

The Rise of a Raven

Beast (rewrite)

We ride closer and closer to Ponyville, and I slowly lower the skeletal hand before we can be seen. However, as we get lower and the town grows closer, a letter seems to magically appear in front of me. I take the letter and read it aloud.

Necromancer,

After your almost success in the Crystal Empire, I have waited for a job you might be able to pull off correctly. The opportunity has appeared, and this is your final test to prove if you are to be gifted with living in my land. Tirek, a demon from Tartarus has escaped under Pony Satan’s nose. Now, the devil refuses to help us find and fight the magic thief. Likewise, the Elements of Harmony are currently inactive. So, in order to prove that you truly are not bad, I issue you this command. Kill Tirek, or send him back to Tartarus. If you complete this task, you shall be afforded the same rights of a real pony. If you are to fail, then your execution will be swift.

Our magical scans show him about to enter Ponyville. Find him, and kill him.

Princess Celestia.

I look up at all the others as we are lowered all the way to the ground, “How far away is Tartarus?” I ask.

“Half a day.” Scootaloo responds instantly. “We’re the closest town.”

I nod, “So he’s only been out for a day at max, that means he won’t be very strong. Might be a thief, but he hasn’t stolen a thing yet.”

“Then let us find him.” Sombra says, and follows it up with a smile, “Celestia will be taken further by surprise if she sees us following her commands.”

Louis looks at me, “Raven, if you allow me to scan the emotions of the town, I might be able to detect him. Raise me into the air enough for me to see the whole town.”

I sprout another hand of bone and raise both of us high into the air. I go up until Louis holds up a hoof.

He stares down at the town for a few seconds, his eyes looking all around. His eyes lock onto somewhere, “I can feel bursts of hate and rage from there.” He points to an alleyway in between two stores.

I look at the same place, and see a large collection of mana, “Yep, seems like a magical thief.” I carry us over to the alleyway, and carry the four below us with smaller hands of bone. We all meet at the entrance of the alley, and I look down it, able to easily see the collection of mana, “Come out, Tirek, we just want to talk!”

We hear a dark laugh, and a tall centaur steps out of the shadows. He takes one look at me, and smiles, “So you’re the ones who killed Starburst. I suppose I should thank you, without his magic I would still be stuck in Tartarus. My thanks does not, however, spare you from my need.” He licks his teeth, “Your magic shall do nicely within me.”

I summon up a sword of bone, and hold it within my hooves, “You can either turn around back to Tartarus, or we can kill you. Even if you are a thief of magic, we can defeat you.”

He laughs, “Not if some of you cannot fight.” He opens his mouth wide, and I see dark green Necromantic mana flow into his mouth from the Crusaders. After no more comes out, he suddenly vomits, blood present within, “What is this?! I can feel myself being healed by the magic but it seems to be tearing me apart!”

I smile, “You just ate some death, Tirek. Mana of death. It will slowly kill you from the inside out and make you into a skeleton over time.” I look behind me to my two friends left standing, “Let’s get him, boys.”

Louis has no idea on how to fight, and charges him straight on. He shapeshifts into a Minotaur and punches Tirek. But he is not prepared or trained, his fist is caught, and his magic is drained, helping Tirek, “A small snack.” Tirek growls out, pain evident within his voice.

Sombra melts into the shadows around him, making the battlefield his domain. He shifts in and out of corporality, appearing out of the shadows to stab at Tirek with a spear of crystal. Tirek manages to dodge most of them, until he starts to cough roughly in the middle of the fight, “What is happening to me?” Sombra appears next to him, shoving his spear through Tirek’s neck. I can see Tirek cough some more blood up, and seemingly try to shout for help. But, he never can, and his eyes change. The black changes to a deathly green, and the yellow dots in his eyes change to bright red. His screaming mouth suddenly turns to a smile, and he reaches out to grab Sombra. Before Sombra can react, he’s been drained of his magic. Tirek looks at his form, even as all his skin fades, leaving behind a skeleton with his glowing eyes. It turns over to me, and smiles sickeningly, “After so many years, I’ve been given a proper vessel.”

I look him in the eyes, and instantly recognize the being that looks back, “Beast. Did you really decide to abandon my body for that failing one?” I hold out my sword, and open my own eyes. My empty voids stare into his mad dots, “Fool, incompetent fool. Did you really think I would just let you take another body freely? Do you not realize I will stop you? This world is one better than our old, and I shall not allow you to bring ruin and death upon it!” I send myself flying forward with a push from some bone hands, and I twist midair. I twirl myself around, and bring the sword down upon his head. It hits right in between his horns, and I slide down his face.

The blade stops so that I can stare him right in the eyes. He laughs, and easily absorbs all my magic. He grows large enough that he picks me up with only two fingers, and flicks me into the wall. He laughs some more as he stares at my crumpled body, “Now this world shall know death.”

My breath does not come easily, and I can feel the lack of a respotory system definitely affecting me. My body all of a sudden demands for oxygen and blood flow, stuff I cannot provide without the proper organs. I cough roughly, and breathe in as much as I can, taking in every gas possible. I struggle to get my hooves below me, and I try to stand up, “I will never give up. This world is not yours to kill, Beast. And I will not stop fighting until you lay dead at our hooves! Sweetie Belle, Sombra, Louis, Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, raise up with me!”

Then Sombra limps over to me, and allows me to fall upon his shoulder. He supports me as he stands next to me, “I stand, for I know that our laughter and joy cannot die! ¡No permitiré que la tristeza infecte este mundo!“

Louis stands up as well, moving next to Sombra, “I shall stand as well, and I will gladly give my life to stop you!”

Then Sweetie Belle moves up beside me, supporting my other side. She hoists me up with Sombra, and face the Beast, “I stand because of the cruelty you would bring upon our world. Raven has always shown kindness like I, and I trust him when he says we need to stop you!”

Then Scootaloo trudges forward, standing next to Sweetie, “I stand because I already know it’s true when I say we will win!”

And finally Apple Bloom, and she moves to the side of Scootaloo, “I stand because I believe in my friends decisions!”

I cough, and summon up the last of my air for a final shout, “I will not allow you to break the unity between us!”

The Beast laughs, “You have no magic, Raven! Hope and friendship can only get you so far!”

I breathe in deeply as I feel a strange power fill me, and a strange green glow starts to radiate off of me. I look around and see the others all start to glow as well, and they hold themselves surer. Sombra glows a strangely light black, like the embrace of a shadow. Sweetie starts to glow white, a pure light that fills any who look at it with happiness. Scootaloo is a fiery orange that could get anyone’s blood running and adrenaline pumping. Bloom starts to glow yellow, reminding me of a nice beam of light to keep you company after a day of hard work. Louis is blue, calming like the ocean’s peaceful waves or the flow of a slow river.

I smile, and seem to say words not of my own accord, like another being has taken me over entirely. A golden necklace appears and clasps around Sombra’s neck, the jewel inside a shadowed crystal with a hint of blue in the middle, “Sombra Noche, he who always tries to bring joy, is the new Element of Laughter.” Another appears around Sweetie’s neck, this gem a white circle with a single musical note within, “Sweetie Belle, she who has shown kindness to all she comes across, is the new Element of Kindness.” Scootaloo has the same happen, her jewel a pair of orange wings spreading out, “Scootaloo Roll, she who has been honest to the end, is the new Element of Honesty.” Bloom’s jewel is a yellow apple, “Apple Bloom, she who follows her friends to the ends of the world, is the new Element of Loyalty.” Louis’s jewel shows a blue first aid kit, “Louis Ragnar, he who would suffer to try and prove his race to be good, is the new Element of Generosity.” Finally, one appears around me, showing a green scythe, “Ravens Breath shows magic, that much is true. However, it is because of him that these ponies of different cultures and worlds have been able to come together today. Ravens Breath is the bearer of the Element of Unity.”

The Beast watches as we float into the air, and a red beams starts to connect all of us. He smiles as it connects with me in the middle, “Is this what you want Raven? To invite me back in your mind?”

I stare at him as my eyes glow a bright green along with the rest of me. I slightly nod at his paralyzed body, “I can suffer you for as long as I need.”

He simply watches as the red beam starts to hit him. He doesn’t allow even a single scream of pain to pass as his entire body is turned to ash and dust. I can see the magic from him go out in a shockwave, returning all his stolen magic. I sigh as I feel my magic enter me once more, and hear him start to whisper once more.

As we lower, I look around at the others, “The Beast lays dormant in my mind once more, he is not a threat anymore for the time.”

The others all seem to be in shock, looking at the Elements that now adorn their necks. Sombra smiles, “Maldito, if not for you, Raven, I wouldn’t have this power. To be a bearer of Los Elementos is not a privilege I thought I would ever have.”

“I can’t beleve that us Crusaders of all ponies would be Element bearers.” Sweetie says in similar shock.

But, I notice something else start to glow and appear other than the Elements. I smile at Sweetie, “You three might have something else to freak out about.”

They all look at their flanks where I point, and see new marks adorning their backside. Apple Bloom’s is a simple apple with two hoof impints on it, and a strange antenna coming out the top. Scootaloo’s is a speech bubble with a two spreading wings inside. Sweetie looks back at her’s as well, it being a musical note with different instruments surrounding it. They all start to freak out at their new marks.

It’s then I hear someone politely cough behind us, “Excuse me, gentlemen?” We all turn around, and face the newcomer. He is seemingly very well kept, barely any dirt on his coat. His eyes are a light blue and seem to glow with knowledge and wisdom. His hat represents the night sky, light blue with stars and moons on it with golden, polished bells decorating it. His cape is the same, bells all over, and a very nice light blue with the same stars and moons. His beard reaches down to his body, long and flowing, very well cleaned and kept.

I instantly think back, “Starburst?”

The Crusaders take notice as well, looking at him instead of their marks. He smiles, his white teeth shining in the light, “Not exactly, but yes. Starburst is my corrupted form, having gone mad from spending so long alone. My name is Starswirl the Bearded, pleasure to meet those who saved me. I always seeked knowledge and magic, some of which was forbidden. What you saw of me was the result of Celestia locking me away because I knew to much. But, you freed me, and so I am in your debt.” He starts to slowly fade away, and gives us a nod, “Until my debt is served, I shall be a spirit that will wait for your commands. Good day.” He fully disappears.

We’re given zero time to breathe as Luna appears in front of us, “Don’t worry, I’m here to help y- where’s Tirek?” I silently point at the pile of ash, and she watches as it blows away. She looks back at me, and notices my new necklace, “You’ve become the new Element bearers?” She takes a slight bow to us, out of respect, “Then I shall follow you.”

I look all around at my friends, “I think it is time for us to march.”

Sombra and Louis just nod their heads. Sweetie Belle asks, “What should we do?”

I look at Sombra and the Crusaders, “Sombra, I need you to take one of the Crusaders and tell Black Smith to produce enough guns for an army. The other Crusaders, I want you to go to Pot Hitter, and convince him to drum up support from the ponies of Ponyville. Have him tell them what Celestia has done or something.” I look over at Louis, “Louis, make sure your Changeling forces will be in optimal positions to take out Canterlot’s Guard.”

Luna looks at me with an eyebrow raised, “Raven, what are you talking about?”

I look over at her, “I am executing my justice and vengeance against Celestia.” I point her out at the town, “Gather the previous Element Bearers, bring them to Twilight’s Library. If they join us, more will follow suit. Tell them it’s an emergency, and I will meet you there.”

Author's Note

Now the Beast actually does something to show he is a threat.

Jury (rewrite)
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The Rise of a Raven

Jury (rewrite)

I stare at the previous bearers as they enter. They all take a seat, and Luna flies in after the last comes in, making there be eight of us in the room. One of them, Rainbow Dash, speaks first, “Alright, what’s the emergency and what’s it gotta do with this kid?”

I grimace as she say’s ‘kid’, but I allow it to pass. I affix them all with a smile, “The emergency I am here to talk about has to do with the one who stands above you; Princess Celestia. I, and my fellow friends, wish to conduct a fair trial against Celestia for her many crimes.”

Another then speaks, Applejack, “Crimes? What crimes has the Princess committed?”

I turn to her, “They are numerous, and shall be heard when we arrive to the trial. I wish to have your support behind me so that this situation isn’t seen as a revolution from the get-go.”

Twilight then intterupts, “Whoa, revolution? Raven, when you said ‘revenge’ I though you meant something like putting hot sauce in her cereal or something like that! Not a revolution!”

I hold my hoof up to stop her, “I do not wish for this to be a revolution, Twilight. If she is found innocent, or submits to her punishment when it is said she is guilty, then there will be no revolution. But if she resists the ruling of the case, then I will be forced to have her submit one way or another. The only way for a revolution is if she runs from her punishment. But she will see this as a revolution, even if all I want is a fair trial. But, with you six there, she will trust me more and be more likely to willingly go to her trial.”

Fluttershy then quietly speaks up, “So, you just want us there to stop fighting from happening?”

I nod, “Exactly. I want as little bloodshed as possible, so I need you all with me.”

Twilight looks around, before putting her hoof in the middle of the table, “You showed me what she did, even if I have a hard time believing it. If you just want a fair trial... I can’t disagree with that.”

After a second, a yellow hoof joins hers. Fluttershy slightly nods, “If it will stop ponies from hurting each other, I’ll help.”

Then a blue hoof, and Rainbow Dash says quickly, “If Twilight and Fluttershy trust you, I can.”

An orange hoof then, and Applejack says simply, “You’ve been honest with us this entire time. So, I will go with you.”

A white hoof rests on top of hers, trying to stay away from the dirty hoof a bit. Rarity, Sweetie’s sister, smiles, “Well, I know your Sweetie’s friend, and what you’ve said seems awfully generous for one set on revenge. Not to mention you seem like a perfect little gentlemen, so I will go with you.”

Finally, a pink hoof joins the pile, and a pair of blue eyes stare into mine, “You see it to, right? There are no walls surrounding you or me, we see the truth as it is. I can trust that.”

Luna looks a the hooves, “And what about us? What do you need us for?”

I look her dead in the eye, “Luna, if Celestia is found guilty of all things accused, then her penalty will be death. I need you to agree so that you can take over as Princess of Equestria should that come to pass.”

She looks at me a second longer, before nodding, “Harmony chose you for a reason. So, we will trust you. Should the worst happen, we will take over for our sister.”

I smile, “Good. Now, the cohort of skeletons should be done right around now.” I turn around and open the door to the library. I see five hundred skeletons, most of which carry a gun, and those that don’t have swords and armor. My five friends stand in front of them, facing the library as I exit. I smile, and point towards Canterlot, “March.”

———

We stop in the middle of a field, right outside of Canterlot. Celestia stands there, an equally sized army of five hundred behind her. She looks at me, and smirks, “Come to finally show your true colors, Necromancer?”

I shake my head, “All I am here to do is hold a fair trial against you. Celestia, on the name of Harmony itself, no harm shall come unless the trial deems it so.”

She looks back at her army, and sees them looking at her expectingly. Celestia is still a citizen, and thus has to answer to the court, and her army knows this. She also sees the previous bearers on my side, and relents, “Very well then, waste my time with your trial.”

I smile, and make the proper places out of bone. A jury stand, somewhere for the witnesses and judge to sit, and two desks for prosecution and defense. I reach into the power of my Element, “You shall be tried by a jury of every race.” I start to teleport beings from all around, “Representing the race of Unicorns: Chancellor Neighsay. Representing the race of Pegasus: Ditzy Doo. Representing the race of Earth: Time Turner. Representing the race of Changelings: King Francis of the Red Hive. Representing the race of Griffons: Grampa Gruff. Representing the race of Minotuars: Iron Will. Representing both the race of Crystal and Alicorns: Princess Cadence of the Crystal Empire. Representing the race of Buffalo: Chief Thunderhooves. Representing the race of Yaks: Horwitz. Representing the race of Draconequus: Discord. And to preside over the case, Judge Sturdy Brass.”

The people all appear in their rightful spots, me transferring memories into their head as they teleported.

I smile, and take a seat at the prosecutors table, “Let us begin.”

Judge (rewrite)
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The Rise of a Raven

Judge (rewrite)

The gavel is banged twice, “All please gather your evidence together. Today’s case is Ravens Breath v.s Princess Celestia. Preceding over this case is I: Sturdy Brass. Now, prosecution, what charges do you lay against the defense, and what punishment do you suggest should your side be proven?”

I smile, and look over at my legal pad I have, “The accusation is quite simple. Princess Celestia has failed to uphold her royal vows, and has even broken a few. If it can be proven that Celestia has failed, then we suggest a judgement by way of the Elements of Harmony.”

Brass turns to Celestia, “How do you plead?”

She smiles, “Not guilty.”

Brass simply nods, “Very well then. Prosecution, you may begin.”

I nod, “Very well then. I call to the stands Scootaloo Roll, Bearer of Honesty. She will tell of the day that Celestia tried to slay an innocent civilian.”

She walks up to the witness stand, and turns to face the crowd, “So, it was about a week and a few days ago. We, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, we’re having a sleepover that day. We went to sleep after Raven had saved us from an attack of Timberwolves, and woke to a shout. Raven shouted to Celestia as she held a sword up to his neck something about how he demanded parley or something like that. It was obvious she wished to harm him, even though he had done nothing wrong. Then, after they talked for a bit, Celestia started to accuse him of brainwashing us to be his thralls. We, being his friends, jumped in front of the blade she swung at him, a breach of their truce. She continued her swing after a bit of hesitation, not caring if we died in it’s way. She was only stopped from killing us when Raven started to fight back. Then, Princess Luna appeared and forced her to stop fighting after a big fight between her and Raven. After that, she left, but also blackmailed Raven into working for her if he wanted to not die.”

I nod, and look at the judge, “As can be plainly seen, this is against many of her royal vows. Her first vow was to never harm an innocent being, her second to never kill a being without proper reasoning, these actions breach those two vows. She attempted to not only kill me, but the three foals who tried to save me. This also breaks her third vow to never go beyond the Equestrian Constitution, and that was broken when she overwrote the fundamental right to parley as said in the Second Tenant. Additionally, it breaks her fourth vow to never abuse her power as Princess. To blackmail a pony because you hold a higher position than them is an abuse of power, no debate about it.”

He looks over to Celestia, who still has a smug grin on her face, “Have you any defense?”

She shrugs, “It’s not true. That’s all I can say.”

He grimaces for a second when he hears the defense, and turns back to me, “Call up your next witness, please.”

I nod, “Then I call to the stand Sombra Noche, previous King of the Crystal Empire, and Bearer of the Element of Laughter. He will touch upon the events on the day of the Crystal Fair.”

He walks up to the stand as well, and smiles at all of us, “It was around two weeks ago, I retook the Crystal Empire from the hooves of Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor. Now, don’t get me wrong, I find the act I did cruel and unnecessary, but my mind was corrupted by darkness. Few days after that, and Raven arrives with orders to stop me, and he listened because he just wanted to live a peaceful life. We talked, and after a while, I came to the conclusion that I needed to purge the darkness inside of me. So, I did just that, and purified myself. I released Cadence and Armor from my prison and gave them back their Empire, and they forgave me for my evil actions. So, next day comes, it’s the Crystal Fair, and Celestia has popped into the Empire to enjoy it. I had just given my speech to my people about how I was sorry about my previous actions and I gave them all an explanation, and hoped for their forgiveness. I walked back inside, and saw Raven there shouting that Celestia was about to do something to me. It was then I felt a burning pain like no other as I was cut into from the back of my head and out through my muzzle. It took all of Ravens power to bring me back from the brink of death. With that, we both left the Crystal Empire, and that’s about that.”

I nod, “Your honor, as can be seen by his story, Celestia has breached more of her vows. Not only did she break her second again, or her third when she resorted to murder, but she also broke her fifth: not to kill anyone who has shaken off darkness. As stated, Sombra purged himself of this darkness, and thus became better. For Celestia to kill him is a breach of that vow.”

He once again turns to Celestia, “Your defense?”

She smiles, “Lies, all of it.”

I sigh, and look at my notes, “You know, I have so much more. Louis and the Changeling’s situation breaching her sixth and seventh, Starswirl her eighth and ninth, and Tirek breaching her tenth. But, you know what, what’s the point if she just won’t defend herself? She has let our five contentions through quite easily, and has not offered up an alibi or proper defense for any of them. She, herself, has not so much as provided a grain of evidence supporting her claims that we are lying, which can already be disproven by the fact the Element of Honesty said it. But I am bored and already know the outcome will be the same even if I continue on. Judge, I rest my case.”

He nods, and looks towards the jury, “We will give you an hour to vote.”

—(1 hour later)—

The gavel is slammed once again, and Sturdy Brass looks over to the jury, “Your verdict?”

The brown earth pony walks up with a paper in hand, “Well, your honor, we have found her guilty of her crimes by a vote of eight to two. We also say that the prosecution’s punishment is fair, and thus Princess Celestia should be tried by the Elements of Harmony.”

Brass simply nods, “Very well then. Princess Celestia: you are to be hit with the Elements of Harmony for their judgement on your soul.”

Her face is one of pure shock, and she looks back at her guards who have a similar face of shock. She looks around a bit more, before pointing at my skeleton army, “Attack them!”

She quickly teleports away, leaving the five hundred guards behind. Not a single one of them move, instead deciding to salute to Princess Luna, “Until the Princess has been judged by the Elements, we will follow your command!”

She looks over at me, “Then follow his. He is the war master.”

I grimace, and turn to Canterlot with it’s gates now closed, “We will enact justice upon her, at any cost. Guards of Canterlot, I ask you something very hard. I ask you today to turn against your fellow guard who may join with Celestia, and join us in our attack on Canterlot!”

They nod, “Yes sir!”

I turn to look at Louis, “How many Changelings are there?”

He smiles, “Five hundred, all within the walls.”

I smile as well, “An army of fifteen hundred. Impressive. Well, let’s move out.”

Rage (rewrite)
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The Rise of a Raven

Rage (rewrite)

We walk right up to the walls of Canterlot, and it’s singular gate. Obviously unprepared guards rush into their positions on the wall, mainly near the gate winch. One guard looks over the wall, and sees his fellow guards next to us, “Corporal Offense, you are to ordered to kill the rebels or face execution for treason!”

The seeming leader of the guards on our side shouts back, “We swore not upon the Princess, but on the Elements! I will follow Harmony, even if it means going against our majesty!”

The guard shouts back, not aware of his fellow guard approaching behind him, “Then you will die with all of your other turncoats!”

He doesn’t speak any more as the guard behind him shoves his spear through his neck. The guard changes into a Changeling with bright red eyes, and I can see him whisper into the guards ear, “The only ones who die here are you ponies.” He turns around, and faces the city. He shouts with all of his strength, “Rage!”

As he says that, half the guards on the walls change into their Changeling forms. They stab the guard nearest them, then slam their spears on the ground as one. The mountain shakes as five hundred voices shout from all over the city, “Blood!”

He turns back, kicking the lever off the gate winch, causing the gates to swing open. He laughs gleefully as he draws a sword from his side, “Death!”

Without a seconds hesitation, we all rush through the gates of Canterlot, and into the city itself. I look to my friends, “Do not get involved in the battle until it is all over! I’ll take care of Celestia!”

I leave them no room for argument, and rush into the fray. I create a sword of bone just like always, and charge the nearest guards.

They never saw me coming, my small form being the last thing they’d be looking for. I jump into the air, and shove the sword deep into the neck of one, and use my momentum to spin around it. I lash out with my back hoof, now covered with a spike of bone, and impale it deep into the guard’s head from his chin.

I then roughly rip my blade out, and use the guard’s bones to propel me forward. I spin through the air like a bullet, with my sword sticking out in front of me, grasped firmly within skeletal fingers. I spin right into another guard’s body like a drill, causing him to fall over. I spread my back legs out and create similar swords within their own bone fingers. I spin around like a top, slicing into all flesh near me.

I jump up from the corpse when I feel no more hits connecting, and land back on my hooves, the extra blades thrown to the side. I see a Red Changeling, presumably the same from the wall, smiling at my display. He parries the spear of one guard, and stabs his head by turning his hoof into a spike. He laughs once more as he breathes in deeply, “You smell that? You taste it?” He takes the spear of the fallen guard, and chucks it into another, “Rage! Blood! Death! It’s so tasty!”

I take out Talons, and blast a guard with balefire, “Tasty, you say?”

He nods as he blocks a sword coming his way. He draws the guard closer, and bites out his neck by turning his muzzle to one of a wolf. He grins as he turns it back, blood spattering him as he lets the guard fall, “We’re the Red Hive!” He grabs the spear of one guard, pulling it closer. He then wraps minotuar hands around the guard’s head, and starts to squeeze, “We feed on those!”

I smile as I command a skeletal hand to rise and catch an arrow headed my way. It turns it back around, and throws it back at the archer who shot it. I nod as I hear a scream of pain, “No wonder you are such good fighters!”

He finally pops the head of the guard, “Best there are!” He moves his head to the side as a unicorn tries to impale him with his horn. He grabs the head of the guard, and does what he attempted to do to him. Changeling horns definitely look a lot more painful than unicorn horns, but the guard dies before he can feel the pain. He nods to the Palace, “Go on to the Palace! My comrades have carved a path for you!”

I dodge a sword that goes over my head, and light the offending pony on fire. I calmly twist his neck til it breaks to end his suffering, and look around me, “What about the guards? Should I not help you with it?”

He ducks underneath a spear, and grabs the head of the pony who stabbed. He shoves his hoof into his mouth, before changing it to be a lot larger. The guard’s head explodes around his hoof, and he smiles, “Don’t worry, we’ll be absolutely perfect by ourselves!”

I nod, and start to rush towards the Palace through the battlefield. I see that the Red Hive have indeed cleared a path for me, having separated the enemy forces into two halves, east and west. I take advantage of that, and quickly find ,self in front of the doors to the throne room of the Palace.

I throw open the doors and walk into the room. I hear the doors slam shut behind me, and I glare at Celestia. I hold my sword out by my side, “Dread it, run from it, it matters not. My vengeance comes all the same.”

She turns to face me, stopping the sharpening of her blade, “Yet another example of how Necromancers cannot be trusted to be good. Unlike my father, however, I will not trust you. You’ve been a thorn in my side for far too long.” I see her form start to change. Her eyes glow a fiery orange, her mane turns into fire, she grows a few inches taller, and her armor looks like it was forged from the sun. She smiles, fangs in her mouth, “I am Celestia, Goddess of the Sun, and of Fire, first born of Ordirus, Killer of Vogrim, Hunter of Necromancers! Your vile magic and words have infected not only the land, but my ponies! Too many lives have ended because of you! Now, your life will end alongside theirs!”

I can see a flash of movement, then I feel the burning sensation. Her blade is sticking out of my chest, and my back. I stare at it, confused for a second. Then, I collapse onto the ground and she removes her blade.

She turns away from me, and looks out the window, “The Sun Singer, soul rendering weapon forged for the purpose of destroying any soul it slashes. This is the same blade I used to slay him so long ago. And now, it’s killed you.” She grimaces as she stares out the window, “Next will be your friends. Such a shame to have to slay those foals. But, it must be done anyway.”

Unity (rewrite)
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The Rise of a Raven

Unity (rewrite)

I cough as I draw in a breath, “No.”

She turns around and smirks at me, “Excuse me, what was that?”

I slowly raise to my hooves, one of them trying in vain to stop the blood flow of my wound, “I... said... no.”

She raises her smirk to a smile, “Your currently about to die, what can you do?”

I nod a bit, “It’s... true. Soul... is leaving. Something... underneath.” I reach into this new source of mana I find within my system, and can feel myself slowly start to change, “Power... to stand against you.” I take a deep breath, managing to suck in all of my soul that escaped, and mixing it with this new mana. No matter how much the Beast tries to mess up the mixing, the manas go together like salt in water. My body fills with a cooling sensation that completely numbs the fire of my wound, and closes it. I feel my skin start to absorb into my bones as they stretch themselves out. I speak once more, my words coming without pain or hesitation, “You have divided your ponies, Celestia! You have brought unto them warfare against their fellow pony! And you would dare bring your severance upon the Unity I have forged with my own hooves! To bring your smug separatism against my friends!”

She looks slightly worried as I now stand on her level, “What?”

I hold my new hand out beside me, seeing thin, bony fingers on it. I’m now at least six feet tall, and I can feel that the entirety of me is made of bone. My cloak grew with me, and the hood moves over my head. I stare at her with my dead eyes, “I was once like you. Because of a selfish decision by me, an entire world ended up dead. I wanted out of my life of pain and torture, and ended up bringing the same pain and torture upon those left behind. I separated an entire world when I gave in to my death and accepted destiny. I am no longer that Necromancer that gave into destiny back in his tower.”

She gains back her smug grin, “And who are you now, then?”

I smile as I feel something materialize into my hand, “My name is Ravens Breath, Fucker of Destiny, First and Last Necromancer, the Immortal Pariah, Element of Unity!” I grab the scythe now in my hand, and swing it through the air, leaving a trail of balefire in it’s wake, “I am Death!”

She smirks, and sends her blade flying towards me near the speed of light. I calmly raise my hand, and smack it away. Her eyes widen, “You think just because you can react quicker you can win? I will still slay you and then your friends!”

I float into the air, and start to summon balls of balefire around me, “I don’t believe you heard me, whelp. You will not harm them.”

I send the balls flying at her, and she dodges all of them. I swish my hand through the air, and create multiple hands of bone. They try to swat her out of the air, or stab her with their nails, like an annoying fly. She manages to weave her way through all of them, just like an annoying fly.

She grabs her sword within her magic, and starts to swing at the hands as they go towards her. She cuts away at them, and to give her a sense of accomplishment, I let them be deconstructed as she hits them.

After all have fallen, she shoots toward me like a lighting bolt. She swings her sword around as she gets closer to me, easily intercepted by my scythe. I hold back her attack with one hand and we enter a stare off. She growls out at me, “You will die here!”

I use my free hand to pick my teeth, “Sorry, what was that? Wasn’t paying attention.”

She growls once more, “Then your friends shall fall next to you.”

I smile, “What was that? You want me to kill you? Well, you need only ask.”

I turn my free hand around, so the back of it faces towards her. I then slap her so hard she goes flying out the fancy windows of the throne room.

I calmly float after her, construction a bone version of the window behind me as I exit. I see her correct herself in mid air, and I look down. The battle seems to have died down, with my fighters standing below me, watching me in awe.

As I look down at them, Celestia’s blade finds it’s way into my body. She stabs through me with what’s apparently her full magical force. I look down at the blade inside me, and reach down with my hand. I grab the hilt, taking away Celestia’s control of the blade. I rip it out of myself, and float my scythe next to me. I grab her blade in both my hands, and bring it down upon my knee.

It breaks in half, and I can see Celestia’s spirit do the same as I toss the two halves aside. I float over to her, and grab her head in my hand. I smile, and slam my head into hers. The headbutt causes her to be knocked unconscious. She returns to her normal form, and flops down to the ground below. I float down with her, right to my friends.

We all nod, and activate our Elements. Celestia wakes up as we start to float into the air, and her face is one of pure terror. But she cannot move, the paralysis of the Elements too strong for her. They eventually connect over me, and form the red beam of death.

Celestia tries to scream, but she cannot, the red beam connecting and turning her into ash that blows away in the wind.

Luna walks up to us as we float down. She turns around, and sees everyone is there. Skeleton, Changeling, Pony, every member of both armies, and every citizen of Canterlot. She smiles, “This is a red letter day for every being, in Equestria or out. The leadership of Equestria has changed for the better, and this is the start of a new age of unity and prosperity for more than just ponies! With consent from Discord, I become Queen Luna of the Union of Equestria!” She turns to all of us, “Within my power as Queen, I proclaim thee Lord Ravens Breath of Unity! Lady Sweetie Belle of Kindness! Lord Sombra Noche of Laughter! Lady Apple Bloom of Loyalty! Lord Louis of Generosity! And Lady Scootaloo Roll of Honesty!”

The crowd cheers loudly, all except one voice. A unicorn moves up to the front of the crown, his coat a clean white with golden hair. He smiles calmly, and the crowd quiets down enough for him to speak, “And what would that mean for me, Auntie Luna?”

She turns to me, “This is my nephew, Prince Blueblood. What should we do?”

I turn to him, and smile, “Welcome to the Union, Duke Blueblood!”

He sputters a bit, “D-Duke? Surely you jest?”

I shake my head, “No power shall be removed from you, just the title. If you prove yourself trustworthy to the Union, then you can gain it back.”

He glares at me a second more, then he turns and blends back into the crowd. Luna begins a speech, and I stand there at attention.

———

I know my power is fading fast, and their is still something I have to do.

I turn back time, and create my own little void. I piece together my body off of memory, and smile at my soul as I give myself the body. I look down, see the Beast escaping, and hook him into the body, “Not so quick.”

I then open the bottom of the void elsewhere, and I lightly laugh as I look at my past self fall down, ““Don’t worry about me. We’ll find out later. Have a good time down there, I know you will. Because we already have.”

I then close the void and return to my proper time.

Loyalists have arisin, and it is time I unite my country.

Paid (rewrite)
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The Rise of a Raven

Paid (rewrite)

Twenty years, such a short time in my immortal lifespan, yet the most eventful time in a while. My body hasn’t changed with the rest of me, that much is true, but with the simple manipulation of bone I can be as tall as a stallion. The war may also weigh upon my mind like nothing else, but I still stand strong. Just as our people have done, and I am so very proud of them.

Music was an industry that was revolutionized by us, a side effect of the war. No longer is it a battle of classical against dubstep with their slow and clashing tones. I brought into this world Swing, Sombra brought into it the Blues, and Sweetie became the leader of Jazz. From the calming tones of the past, into the adrenaline rush of now. Our music reflects our citizens. Sad at times, but always continuing onwards. Upbeat, and screaming our names as we lead them ever further. Unified, even though division pecks at the door of our differences. And it is because of us, my friends and I, that this revolution has come about.

Speaking of friends, they have changed just like music. Apple Bloom became interested in civilian technology, and was quite good at it, shocking everyone around her. She still was an Apple farmer at heart, but realized our need for further resources. One of the greatest inventions she had was the Pip-Buck 3000. It started off as a huge machine made to tell farmers the optimal inputs and outputs to get the most out of their crop. Then, it started to read vitals, and take inventory. It can now do many, many things. From vital scans, aim assisting, maps, a heads up display, it even automatically assigns value to everything and can carry items, all whilst fitting on a hoof. First, it was distributed to us leaders, then soldiers, then Stables, and now civilians. She became the leader of ‘The Ministry of Production’. A Minestry dedicated to producing new technologies and more food to feed our people and soldiers. Sweet Apple Acres and her siblings in general have gladly joined under her, working harder to feed our growing nation. Their chief collaborators are the Stables.

Stables themselves are a bunker system to keep ponies safe should the war escalate. It was made early on in the war, so civilians could hide with the soldiers when the bombing began on our cities. It’s expanded to be there just in case the worse were to happen. Other than making that, Scootaloo has become a symbol for our warriors in the air. She was a diplomat early on in the war, but the need for diplomacy fell quickly. Now she leads the Air Corps, and the Wonderbolts themselves. She ascended to be the leader when Spitfire died in the middle of a spec-ops mission. It was a great loss for us all, and I know Scootaloo tries to be invincible in spirit so as to meet the expectations Spitfire would give her. With the exception of me, she does the most fighting. She always flys out with the Wonderbolts as an elite force, and it’s because of her many fights have been won. She leads ‘The Ministry of Air.’ Many Pegasi that have their talents within flying have joined under her, including her idol, Rainbow Dash. She takes her role more seriously than any of us, and the Pegasi follow her example, being the most nationalist and motivated of any army we have, barring mine.

And then there’s Louis, who is proud to be the diplomat who merged us and the Changeling Hives. The Hives have all started to regrow back to their previous strength under his careful care. He leads his own Blue Hive into battle many times, but not to kill or injure. He founded ‘The Ministry of Healing.’ It is dedicated to healing every soldier they find injured, enemy or ally. Many ponies such as Fluttershy have joined him in effort to stop mass destruction. He has built many new hospitals and clinics in our new land, and created many new medicines as well. Without him, this war would be much bloodier than it already is.

Sombra is our diplomat for the Crystal Empire, using his cunning to have Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor decide to join the Union. With the crystal imports, our economy is booming, and Sombra is to thank for it. One day he visited Ponyville, and found a specific pink pony in a gingerbread house there. Thus, ‘The Ministry of Joy’ was made, with Sombra as leader, and Pinkie Pie as his right hoof mare. Their mission is to make it so our citizens to not give into despair or sadness, but instead move into each day with a smile.

Our main stallion for producing weapons is Black Smith. He took the simple idea of a gun, and expanded upon it in many different ways. Now there are smaller pistols that pack quite a punch, rifles to hit targets from afar, assault rifles to fire accurately and quickly, and even guns that can put out hundreds of bullets in a few seconds. He’s also fashioned armor to protect from these weapons as our enemy gets their hooves on it. His best project is called power armor. It gives ponies the strength of a bear, the durability of a tank, and the mobility of themselves. He also has done experiments with crystals and made laser guns, and plasma guns. Rumor has it that Rarity of all ponies is helping him with the design of his armor. Rumor, and eyesight, also has it that they’re in love. They just have yet to figure it out.

Sweetie Belle and I have flourished over the years. I find every time I’m around her to be the best moments of my long life, and I seem to never tire of her presence. Even the most interesting creature in Tel’la De Rus doesn’t hold a candle to Sweetie. We try the best we can to be together as much as we can, and I always savor the time we meet next. No matter how sparce our meetings are now, with how work tears us apart, I think I might propose to her soon. However, work comes before us, so that is a while to come. She has created ‘The Minsitry of Voice’, a surprising choice for her. She not only creates music, but seemed fascinated with the voice. She talked with Pot Hitter, and he shared in her fascination. She decided to help with the war when she saw how I stressed with it, and now has a following of mages who use their voice. Necromancers, Pyromancers, anyone. They go out onto the field, and weave their strife upon the enemy with their voice. Then they go home, and make their songs, so our citizens can hear and be inspired.

It was a meeting with two individuals that made her decide to go down this path. Before then, she led Music, not Voice. But there are these two warriors. Orcs, from Tamriel. Dovahkin and Ghorbash the Iron Hand. Dovahkin has the ability to cast magic by shouting, a thing he calls the Thu’um. This, combined with the strange Orcish language they spoke, inspired Sweetie to change to Voice. These two warriors have proven themselves invaluable, producing a new race of warrior rivaled only with the Red Hive. They have traveled with Mass Offense all over the war, allowing him to grow to be the head of an army. These two seek the dragon, Alduin, and have searched for him with my help. Last week we found him, and I believe they shall be fighting today. My best wishes traveled with them, even if they wield such archaic weapons.

As far as I am concerned, my Ministry is dedicated only to the war. I was always the most warlike of any of us, so when the time came to make a Ministry, it was an obvious choice. I am the leader of ‘The Ministry of Death’ for that is what we bring upon our enemy. Raven’s Reapers, my elite group of power armor wearing death dealers. The Necromancer Guild, a group of Necromancers led by Twilight Sparkle that produce skeletons to fight in the war. Twilight took a liking to my knowledge, and so did many others. Now, they make soulless puppets to fight in the war.

The war is almost over. There only are a few more places that we have yet to break. Today we take the most important. As of now, Fillydelphia and Baltimare should be taken over. This war has produced many horrors. Robots are a minor one, but nothing as bad as the nukes. Some strange combination of magic and science has made a bomb that will destroy everything in a ten mile radius. Somehow, the enemy got it after we made it. I think there is a spy somewhere in the higher tiers.

We are now the rulers of this land as well. Luna disappeared into her room two years ago, and seems to be in a broken state of despair, only being able to take care of herself. With her gone, leadership fell to me and my friends. We already were seen as the real leader before, but now we actually have full command of Equestria. It’s a position I never thought I would have, and I hope we can bring Luna back.

I’m sitting in my Ministry building, waiting for a transmission. I see a message pop up on my terminal, “Put that up on the screen.”

On it is a soldier wearing power armor, saluting me, “Sir! Head Paladin Mass Offense reporting!”

I nod, “Good. What is your report? Good news, I should hope.”

He snaps his leg back down, and nods, “Both in Fillydelphia and Baltimare our offense has worked. We await your order to storm the nuclear bunkers!”

I nod, “Permission-“ I’mcut off by a roaring sound in the transmission.

I see him stumble around, and turn around to face the bunker. Out of the bunker, a missile comes flying out. He collapses to his knees, “Dear Luna. They’ve done it. They’ve launched the nukes.”

I slam my hoof down on the intercom button, “Code Red! Everyone run for the Stables!

I look up to see Mass Offense salute me, one last time, “It was an honor to serve, Raven. This is Head Paladin Mass Offense signing-“ he’s cut off as an explosion rings sounds out behind him.

Everyone behind me is rushing out as quick as possible, hoping beyond hope to get to the Stable five minutes away. I sigh, and press a button to hop onto an emergency broadcast.

Faces start to pop up on the big screen.

“This is Sweetie Belle reporting in!”

“This is Scootaloo reporting in!”

“This is Apple Bloom reporting in!”

“This is Louis reporting in!”

“This is Sombra, reporting in.”

I sigh, “Ravens Breath reporting in. Good, we’re all here. This... this is goodbye.”

Then Apple Bloom speaks up, “I do hate to say it, but it seems like I’m gonna have to leave first. Nuke looks about five seconds out.”

Her channel goes out after five seconds. Scootaloo tears up a bit as she looks to her side, “Welp, not gonna lie, there’s one headed right for me as well. Should’ve built in the air. Goodbye, everyone. It’s time for me to leave.”

Then her channel goes down as well. Louis slams his hoof down, “Those bastards! Do they not know how many will die from this? All of my efforts... the Hives... the lives saved... wasted.”

His channel cuts out, and I can hear the explosion in the distance. Sombra smiles sadly, “Nuke on me as well. Maybe... I remember the tests of it’s power against crystal. If I make a bubble of crystal around the city, I can save it.” I can hear a grunt of exertion, and Sombra pants on screen as his horn lights up, “I can protect myself as well. Ponies from the Stable can find the city and me when the radiation clears.” He turns to look at me once more, “Estoy orgulloso de ti. Llegaste a mí con tristeza en tus ojos y vacilación en cada paso y palabra, con gusto saltarías a la muerte. Y ahora, tu muerte viene y la odias. Aprendiste a amar la vida, y los que te rodean. Dejaste de sobrevivir, y comenzaste a vivir. Y me siento muy orgulloso.”

I smile back, “Sombra, sabes que eso es solo por ti. Me enseñaste tanto con una simple sonrisa. Nunca tendré otro amigo como tú, nadie podría comparar.”

He starts to have his crystal crawl up his body. In his final moments before crystalisation, he smiles at us, “Nunca he visto un par más adecuado el uno para el otro. Adios Amigos.”

His screen shuts off, just like all the others. Sweetie looks out of her window, and slightly smirks, “Well, saving me for second to last? I’m flattered.”

I lean into the screen, “Sweetie Belle.”

She turns back to me, “Yes, Raven?”

I look out my own window as a nuke approaches, “I love you Sweetie Belle, I haven’t said it enough. Our death may approach quick, but it has given me new found confidence. Sweetie Belle, will you marry me?”

I hear her laugh, and see a single tear fall from her eye, “Yes, it would’ve always been yes. I love you Raven.”

I lean in once more, and look her in the eye best I can, “This is not goodbye, Sweetie Belle. This is see you later. I will find you after this, and I will bring you back. I will not allow destiny to steal you away for eternity.”

Her channel goes down as she gives me one last smile.

I see the nuke slowly approach, and I think. Why? Is this what happens when I do the right thing? Is this what Celestia would have wanted? Why leave me last, to torture me?

I can feel my flesh disappear with the nuke’s blast. And one resounding thought goes through my head.

I will find them. I am Ravens Breath, and I will not allow destiny to take me.

This is not the end, no matter what any god has to say.