The One Rule at Cons You Shouldn't break but you didby SkyrimbetterthanFalloutChaptersLet's Get StartedI Really Shouldn't Open My MouthWhere the Fick am I?Montage Time!Well time is relativeLet's Get StartedWell I'm sure you already know what happened so I'm going to cut right to the chase. This was my first my first con as my friends convinced me to go. They tried getting me to go as someone from the Elder Scrolls but I said fuck that and went as my Courier Six. I went all out as I had lots of cash (magically that's all you need to know) and so I had a riot shotgun, a modified AMR, A Light Shining in the Darkness, the Sprtel-Wood 9700, Maria, the Survivalist's rifle, and This Machine. For armor, I was wearing the elite riot gear and I had the original Pip-Boy 3000. Basically my friends were pissed I didn't match them but they dealt with it. Walking through the con was interesting to say the least. It was loud but I had my headphones blasting my playlist under my costume. I'm honestly surprised there's not fire everywhere yet. My friends just couldn't resist themselves and bought many a thing. Eventually they ran out of money and I was the only one left who had cash. As my friends better me for money as I walked through the vendors and frankly, it was getting very annoying. So I just turned up my music (volume control, solving your problems since forever). We came across a stand with a shifty looking guy manning it but again this is a con people like him are a normal sight. So the group and I didn't care what he looked like and I gave them money as I already saw what I wanted and picked them out while I also took out money for myself. I decided to pick out a stimpack, radaway, med-x, rad-x, a doctor's bag, and a bottle of Sunset Sarsparilla, along with a bag to hold them all. In total it only costed $45 and I was very satisfied with my purchases. Though I was confused with how cheap they were and I then saw the vendor smiling at me. It was then I realized, I fucked up. I felt a weird sensation like I was falling and being pulled in multiple while also losing my vision rapidly. I could hear my friends calling to me as they did not look so good as well but who cares at the moment as the feeling is getting worse and worse by the second. I mean as much as I wish to travel I had obligations at home, like feeding my fish and watching Stranger Things. I briefly wondered if the dimensional travel would count towards my points on my card. It was at this time I realized that I was unconsciously resisting going through the portal thingy and I wondered if I should just resist it all. The choice was between staying here with my goldfish named oreo or traveling to another universe as my favorite Fallout character other than the Lone Wanderer and possibly meeting best pony Luna. Granted, I haven't watched a large amount of the series but I was going to get around to it eventually. Most of my knowledge came from fics and hearing my friends talk about it. I made my choice and stopped resisting the feeling. All of a sudden my vision started darkening rapidly and the sensation got stronger. Eventually the feeling stopped and I could not see anything around me, and it scared me somewhat. \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ After an undetermined amount of time, I started to regain feeling within my body. For some reason I felt stronger and my clothes were heavier. I then remembered that everything we had on us becomes real in the universe we're went to. As I started to regain feeling in my limbs I felt a strange falling sensation and said out loud, " Must be disoriented from the trip. " Of course after I said that I looked down and realized my mistake. Currently I'm at a large height and falling at a very high speed. I swear I did not scream like a little girl as soon as I saw the ground fast approaching. On a side note my music is still playing and I could hear it very well. I don't like gravity as it tries to make me friends with the ground and it still tried in this dimension. As soon as I hit the ground I saw a picture of the Vault-Boy in the corner of my peripheral vision. He had multiple broken limbs and I soon remembered that that is what my body is at the moment. Also in the bottom left of my vision is a health bar and bottom right is a AP bar. Currently my health is very low and I should probably fix that. "Son of a bitch this hurts." I put very eloquently as I tried pulling up my Pip-Boy. I eventually got the device to my face and came across a new dilemma. "Where the fuck is the place to change the screen? I have not traveled dimensions to die from bleeding out by not finding the right button." The button is found and I found another problem. Where do I apply stimpacks and doctor's bags? I tried pressing the screen where the health option are and it worked! I immediately felt better and I stood up to survey my surroundings. There was one conclusion I came to. "Well, I'm on top of a mountain surrounded by God knows what. Oh dear Lord kill me know please. I know I didn't believe in you but I now have a fear of heights so just end me. ... No answer? Well, fuck me in the butt." Before I went anywhere I decided to check my personal computer and discovered many things. First I was at level 50 with the Thought you died perk. Second, I had every perk in the game even though my character did not have them. Third , all the weapons I had had unlimited ammo with every type for each and the CND for each one is not present. Lastly, all the medicinal supplies I bought from the merchant were also infinite. Basically I was a walking war machine stuck on a mountain because of a fear of heights. This is great. Eh, fuck it I'm gonna take a nap as it is dark out. \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ After a "short" nap I finally took in the rest of my surroundings and looking down the mountain for a path. What I discovered exceeded all expectations. For when I looked, I saw a castle that even from above, it looks like it's floating. And to justify that what I was seeing was real I could see a town below the castle and a small village in the distance. "So, I get to live every brony's dream huh? Nice." I stated after looking around a couple more times. I decided to pull out my AMR to use it as makeshift binoculars. After unloading the weapon and figuring out the rest of my Pip-Boy, I finally looked through the scope. Apparently the scope has a way higher magnification than in game as I could see everything. What I first spotted was at first a bunch of multi colored blobs roaming around. As the scope began to focus the blobs became more refined and easy to tell what they were. I guess it was the final nail in the coffin for me, as I still did not fully accept that I was in the world of My Little Pony, despite the evidence. After about 10ish minutes of crying I decided to return to my reconnaissance mission to ascertain what time I'm currently in at the moment. I got bored as looking at nobles doing noble things is boring and made me want to punch something. The location of the poorer section of the city was located and then also looked upon from the Ghost above. From what I could see, there was a big gathering of ponies and some other species. I think I managed to spot Fancy Pants and his wife in the crowd down below. Though what surprised me the most was the fact that I could see to large ponies in tiaras and having both wings and horns. My brain farted for a moment as I forget their names. But of course, one does not simply forget the great princesses Celestia and Luna. It seems there were down there shopping at the stands, avoiding the higher places within the city. For that, I admire them and it seems like it I found my way down there they might help me. Eventually, I put away the AMR and decided to find a way down the mountain. From what I could see so far there were no clear paths down but I have played Fallout 3 and New Vegas multiple times, and trust me, you learn to make gravity your bitch. It's even better in Skyrim though. So using the tactic nearly everyone who's played Fallout knows, I slowly but surely made my way down the mountain. I did fall farther sometimes and had to take a couple stimpacks but eh, I have infinity so it's fine. Once I reached the city, I had to decide if I was going to walk in or sneak in. Pros for numero uno, ponies could see I'm a very open person and not trying to attack them. Cons, could be mistaken for a monster and be set upon by the local guards. Pros for number two, not spotted and can get closer into the ,hopefully good, graces of the rulers of ponyland. Cons, get caught, he mistaken as a monster trying to sneak into Canterlot to hurt the princesses and he set upon by the local guards. Oh look, a bit! I can use this to decide. Let's go heads for sneaking and tails for outright walking in. And finally lets yeet it into the air. \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ As I saw it falling I contemplated my life and decided that if I mess up horribly and die then I would have no regrets. When it finally hit the ground it landed on tails. "Well time to go introduce myself to the populace." My voice was very unenthusiastic and you could hear the sarcasm in my tone. I started the rest of the way down towards where I saw the pretty pony princesses and let me tell you, I wasn't the most athletic guy but being in this new form had some great perks. When I eventually made it to the back of the gathering I started to gain the attention of multiple four-legged residents. They gave me weird looks as I went through, with the occasional fearful one. I know that the ponies are kind of racist and are somewhat scared of others but combined with my armor, I think I was really starting to concern multiple ponies as they went to fetch the guards. It's like the haven't seen a large something mysteriously appear in a large crowd with full body armor and a strange thing on its back. After some time the ponies came back with the guards. I was struggling to not burst out laughing but seeing these cute little ponies in golden armor was pushing my limits. I mean come on! Most people know that good is one of the weakest metals out there! I mean I guess I have to cut them a little slack their community doesn't seem to be very advanced. After a short amount of time I noticed the guards trying to surround me and be quiet about it. They were failing horribly and so I noticed very quickly. They eventually finished their task and proceded to yell at me. "Stop right there creature!" The guard said using magic very obviously to increase the volume of his voice. I found it funny as they had to bring in their CO to deal with me. "What if I don't want to?" I decided to respond with after a while. I got my answer soon after. "If you don't stop then we will be forced to bring you down!" Said the purple armor horse. Of course after I heard that I smartly bursted out laughing. This understandably, pissed off the guards and a gained the attention of the Princesses. "Trust me," I said after I recovered from laughing, "As much as I don't want to fight, if we do I can't say that I won't fight back if you engage first." This riled them up further and it looked like the ponies were getting ready to charge with the Princesses even lighting up their horns in case anything happens. Well, this is a great first day in Equestria! Author's Note This is my first story on FIMfiction so I would love feedback. If you dislike please tell me why in the comments and I'll see what I could do to rectify the problem. Take note that I have no editors and I'm writing on a tablet. Updates will be whenever I feel like it as I am focusing on school at the moment. I know that I'm making the character out to be a gary sue but this is my first story and this is what I'm sticking with. I Really Shouldn't Open My MouthRoughly two minutes since last chapter... "Go to ponyland they said. It will be fun they said. Well, I get they didn't think they would have the entire motherfucking guard and the damn princesses on their ass!" I've been running for two minutes straight and I don't know how as New Vegas technically didnt have running in it without mods. I never got it cuz mods are for people with more space on their PC. "Stop creature so we can take you into custody!" Were some of things I heard from the guards and princesses while running. So if course my reply every time was "Fuck off ya cunts!" I think I'm starting to make them tired as thankfully once I got to the edge of the city they wouldn't have energy to follow. Probably. I hope. After about 3 minutes of sustained running I noticed that the guards are braking off and the princesses are nowhere to be seen. Hopefully they thought that I wasn't worth their time and left me to their "great" guards. This was probably not the case but a guy can dream right? Right!? I fucking don't give a shit anyways so fuck. Oh look, shadows in the sky that I can only assume are pegasi and hopefully not the princesses. (Author's note: you already know shits going down soon. That is the end of this painfully obvious psa.) What do you know, it's the princesses moving in from above as I spare a glance up. As soon as I noticed the the alicorns I fucking ran even faster than before and hauled ass out of the city. Although I should've guessed that the guards who left went to guard the gates to the city. "Oh for fuck's sake give me a fucking break universe! Just once as its only been like two hours since I got up!" Of course after shouting that to the sky I got weird looks from my pursuers. Thankfully though a short time back they realized the futility of telling me to stop and proceeded to continue the chase throughout the city. I did manage to lose most of their guards when I started to jump and climb on buildings. The only ones that kept up were the pegasi and the princesses. Though I was getting scared as I lost site of one princess, that being Celestia. Of course as soon as I noticed the princess not being present even more flying guards came up. With that I decided to duck into an alley and hopefully catch my breath. \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ I lost the guards after I hid in the alley. There were ponies inside of it but they looked homeless so I decided to be nice and have a casual conversation for the time being. "Nice weather were having huh?" He just gave me an odd look and returned to whatever it was that he was doing before I showed up. I sat in that alley for a good twenty or so minutes. It was a good time as I found a large piece of bread. I gave 3/4 to the homeless pony and ate the rest of the bread. I'm not going to lie I've not had bread that good sinc the last time I was at my parents. I decided to risk everything when I poked my head out of the alley to see if the coast was clear. It wasn't. "Creature, we have you surrounded! Come out and surrender!" This came from the large blue pony. I was about to leave through the back when I spotted the large white one on the other side and pegasi above me. Walking out I decided to try and distract them using any means. Sadly I didn't have any flashbangs as they would've been useful. "Okay I'll admit it, you caught me. I tried my best and I'll go quietly - what's over there!" I pointed out quickly and to my surprise they actually looked and I took off through a gap in the guards I spotted walking out. I got a pretty good distance before I was followed. It took them awhile before the caught up but by then I was approaching the edge of the city and hopefully a exit. I was following a river to get out as I guessed that river may mean moat which means exit. I was horribly wrong as when I reached the end of the river it was just a cliff. And it was at that moment I knew, I fucked up. So I stood there like an idiot just staring off the edge instead of running. The guards and the princesses did catch up and noticed me at the edge. They thought I was thinking of jumping to escape them and attempted to negotiate. "Stop and back away from the edge creature it's not safe!" And things like that were what was the commonplace saying towards me as I started to turn around and back away from the edge. But just when things were looking good my foot got caught on loose rocks and I proceeded to trip and call backwards. Throughout that short time span of tripping I only had one thought on my mind, "Fuck" \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ In all honesty building Cantorlot on a motherfucking mountain was a bad idea. If you knocked out the supports the entire city would collapse. But I know what y'all are saying "the supports are reinforced with magic of something!" but you have to realize that even if something is reinforced it can still break after few sustained attacks. I'm not even mentioning the edges that have no guard rails whatsoever. Seriously all one has to do to take out the capital is sneak in from the edges and destroy the supports with explosives like C-4 and other explosion-creating devices. I was contemplating it while I was falling for a minute straight and still no ground in sight. It really pissed me off that the princesses would let such a dangerous thing still be when there are children running around. Sorry I'm just venting right now cuz I'm angry at myself for tripping and the princesses for having a very large safety hazard. As the two minute mark approaches I look down and finally notice the ground which is a very large lake as it looks small from up here. Sadly it's still going to hurt like a bitch because of physics. So, fuck you physics! What have you done for me besides be a bitch to pass back in highschool! It seems the pain is getting closer as the body of water is getting larger. I brace myself for the impact that will more than likely cripple multiple bones....... What do you know, it did! All of them in fact. I can't feel anything but I still somehow opened up the Pip-Boy and used a Doctor's bag. With my body no longer crippled I swam to the surface to catch my breath as I had no Rebreather on me to my disappointment. I sat on the beach for a short time and drank a bottle of sarsparilla. It was delicious and served the purpose of healing my body. I layed down on the nice sand and took a nap, not noticing the strange looking forest behind me. \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ I was woken up to the sound of rustling bushes from behind and to the sides. As I got up i had the misfortune of smelling a very foul odor that was worse than dead fish. If I remember correctly then the smell would be from timberwolves and judging from the eyes i spotted in the bushes inside the forest I was correct. "Nice doggies, don't eat me I don't taste good." I tried reasoning with them as soon as they exited the bushes. There were five in total and they were big motherfuckers. I then realized something, "I have guns why don't I just shoot them?" As soon as I said it they started advancing on me and I pulled out the Sprtel-Wood. They looked confused at the objects before it looked like they shrugged and continued moving forward towards me. So I aimed at the biggest and held the trigger down for a straight 3 seconds. It disintegrated and the other wolves looked just about ready to run at me. One did run at me and I quickly pulled out Maria and put two in its head. The other three looked nervous and were probably rethinking why they thought I was an easy meal. As the timberwolves started to move away I shot one with the Survivalists rifle and it exploded. I then equipped the riot shotgun and started to lose it with DB shells. The one wolf started to run at me while the other ran. I shot the one that was running but I got tackled by the last one. It's breath was even worse than its smell so I put it out of its misery and made it explode. "This has been a great first day in equestria!" I'm fairly certain even the animals could detect my sarcasm as I walked through the forest. Author's Note Sorry for the wait I've been off hiking and playing games. Thanks for the support and telling me to get my ass in gear to finish the chapter. As always if you dislike tell me why and give me constructive criticism to help my writing. Also I discovered listening to music does help your writing. Now I'm going to bed as its almost eleven here. Where the Fick am I?So, I listened to the voices, (not really), and I decided to wander. I decided to blow up the castle base so I could not look at it and walk away. It wasn't very good anyway. Might've caused some chaos among the ponies about what just happened in the forest, but I don't give a shit. The journey took me days upon days, and that was just to leave the forest. I won't describe what happened then as the story will just turn into The Lord of the Rings. Walking and walking with some fighting mixed in. I did find a hydra though, but not the drug kind. It tasted good, not like chicken but more or less like a fish. Eventually, I made it out of the forest, (No shit Sherlock). What I wandered into appeared to be the infamous badlands. It just looked like New Mexico to me but that's not the point. There were no animals or life of any sort for a while, not until I made it to a small town. When I walked in I really wanted to start playing big iron, but I knew I wasn't the time yet. Soon. I did at least try to say hi all to the ponies living there but they decided to hide. It was a ghost town, straight out of the wild west. The entire time I was just strolling through looking for the closest bar or Texas Red. They both were priority one. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ Sadly walking through town I found no ponies, and even worse still not a single bar or Texas Red. It made me sad but I know that just because the notches on his pistol numbered 1 and 19 more I could still beat him. It was only a matter of time, with me having a big iron on my hip. I had no idea where I was going but I knew that if I walked far enough I may be able to find a changeling hive. I say a because I don't know if there's more than one. There might be, but I certainly don't know. But what I did know is that if changelings and/or Chrysalis attack me I will PURGE THEM IN HOLY HELLFIRE. Maybe I could've deposed Chrysalis and become king. That would be a sight. I wouldn't be good at it though, that's what I have Yes Man for, to do all the governing stuff. Good God, I know that being alone makes you crazy but I didn't expect it so soon! I mean I just though about becoming a king! How stupid is that? I would prefer being a president, because that way I can just delegate everything like I did to Yes Man. Of course I would stay president forever but that's not that point. The point is you're a bitch. So anyways back to our not so regularly scheduled programming, I was walking. There wasn't much to say about it. There was desert all around with not much else. No animals, plants, or shape shifting bugs. That last part made me disappointed. That meant that the only contact I've made in this world is running from the law and a zebra (that sounds very concerning, like Zecora is a drug dealer or something, probably). I get off track a lot don't I? Anyways I started to run, even though it's impossible without mods. And so I just kept running, Forest Gump style. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ At the end of my run I came across a jungle. It didn't look ominous or anything, it looked like a normal jungle. Which of course made me even more suspicious. This is Equestria, (maybe, I don't know I'm not a map), there are no normal forests. With my luck I'll find that cat guy and the Indiana Jones knock off in a temple with an artifact that controls the sun or something. Unfortunately, there was no visible end to the jungle to my sides and I wasn't about to climb a jungle tree, (even though that's how you get the wood, from the top down). So the only directions I could go was either back or forward. I, of course, went into the jungle knowing I was going to probably get up to all kinds of shenanigans in there. And I couldn't even burn the forest, with it being a jungle it would be too humid. So that meant that I had to bushwhack the entire way through. Eventually, I came across a temple/pyramid/whatever but I got bored of jungle and decided to explore it. This took me a while and the loot was underwhelming, to say the least. There was no gold or cool looking things, just a parkour course and a rock. So, using my AMR with explosive rounds, I blew the temple sky high. I just wanted to shoot it a couple times to get rid of my disappoint some how, but I missed the old explosives that were lining the walls. I went about 20 feet back just from the shock wave. It was one of the coolest things I've seen in my life. And even better, I only broke a couple bones and only half of my health was gone. After I collected my intact AMR I booked it, knowing that everyone and everything heard the explosion, drawing them to the site. By the time I stopped running and rested for the night I knew that, meaning I looked on my map, that I was at least 30 miles away from the ruins of the temple ruins. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ The next couple of days I kept walking, eventually finding an ocean. So I used my available resources and made a boat,( a high survival skill is necessary, don't ask). So getting on the boat I used my superior knowledge and skills of the ocean to beach myself only days later way farther down the coast, next to mountains and volcanoes. And so, leaving my boat to its fate, I headed into the hostile looking terrain, hoping to actually talk to someone. Maybe end up killing someone, which is probably a high possibility. That means I get to have more fun at least. Author's Note And so, I update again. This chapter has a lot of references, I blame what I've been playing and TheRussianBadger. That also means that I'm dead, for YOU CAN'T KILL ME, I AM ALREADY DEAD! Montage Time!Author's Note So here we are. It's been a long time coming hasn't seen it? Also cookies to whoever get the reference. I'm sorry it took so long and is short i planned on it being longer but moving and stuff this past summer sucked. I also blame battlefield 4 now that I got back into it. The net fighter ribbon sucks to try and get though. Don't worry though, I'm going to make a longer chapter that sums up what was supposed to happen this one. Montage Time! "I wonder, if you take enough sticks after you kill a timberwolf, will it still reform?" When I'm alone I talk to myself out loud and I don't know why. Perhaps I'm really speaking to an invisible audience. Or to God himself. Which leads to the question, why are we here? Are we just a cosmic coincidence? Or is there really someone up there? I don't know but that shit keeps me up at night. You see my brain's on auto-pilot at this point as I walk through the forest cold and wet. There's barely any sunlight so my armor can't be dried and water has gone into a very uncomfortable place. Overall it's been pretty shitty the last couple o' hours. I should probably make myself a makeshift shelter or find that one castle thing out here. I could build a shelter inside the castle for shits and giggles. Would it be called shelter-ception or just having a base inside of a large building. Fuck if I know. This is going to take a long time to find the castle and even longer to build a home. Too bad this ain't Fortnite. Well I guess I should pick up the pace. \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ It's been a couple weeks since our last long talk brain and I suppose were due for another one. I guess a recap is in order. We found the castle after a days walk and started to set up a makeshift camp. A few more after that I finished the outside walls and went to work on the interior. We've just finished and met a friendly neighborhood black pers- I mean zebra! Yes zebra! Totally what I was going to say. Don't worry about it. I couldnt understand a word she said but that's ok! (Please don't think I'm racist because of this, I blame the slight accent). This has been a scheduled update from your friendly neighbourhood arms dealer! Well time is relativeAlright y'all, we're back. It's been awhile hasn't it? In the time I've been gone and you have heard nothing from me I have successfully built my home in the castle and I must say its looking good. I say built but what I really mean is I restored parts of the castle for better defense and well, who doesn't want a castle? (I know I want one). The forest is concerning and I have not ventured far into it. I have found a glowing tree and I just turned around and left, because I ain't dealing with glowing shit today. Reminds me of glowing ghouls. I still hate the color orange, thankfully there is none in this god damned forest. I got off topic didn't I? Sorry, flashbacks to cazadores are a bitch to deal with. I have fought a couple manticores that probably made their homes in the castle. They tasted pretty good, kind of like chick. The cockatrices did not though, so I tossed them into a ditch somewhere. I also have gotten very familiar with all my weapons. By that I mean I decimated the timberwolf population for the moment. It was fun. Sadly, after everything I do not know what to do. I kind of want to talk to the ponies and get to know them, hopefully without getting arrested in the process. Or I can venture to new lands and fuck with everyone until I end up dying, which means all my storage is going to be taken up by saves. Hehe, "Stop right the-" 'quicksaving' "re criminal scum! You have violated the law! Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence. Your goods are now forfeit." ... "Then pay with your blood!" Author's Note I can't write for shit. Send help, or a laptop. Either one really. But I do not know where I want to send the story. The choices are yours viewers. Please don't fuck me over. Thank you.
Let's Get StartedWell I'm sure you already know what happened so I'm going to cut right to the chase. This was my first my first con as my friends convinced me to go. They tried getting me to go as someone from the Elder Scrolls but I said fuck that and went as my Courier Six. I went all out as I had lots of cash (magically that's all you need to know) and so I had a riot shotgun, a modified AMR, A Light Shining in the Darkness, the Sprtel-Wood 9700, Maria, the Survivalist's rifle, and This Machine. For armor, I was wearing the elite riot gear and I had the original Pip-Boy 3000. Basically my friends were pissed I didn't match them but they dealt with it. Walking through the con was interesting to say the least. It was loud but I had my headphones blasting my playlist under my costume. I'm honestly surprised there's not fire everywhere yet. My friends just couldn't resist themselves and bought many a thing. Eventually they ran out of money and I was the only one left who had cash. As my friends better me for money as I walked through the vendors and frankly, it was getting very annoying. So I just turned up my music (volume control, solving your problems since forever). We came across a stand with a shifty looking guy manning it but again this is a con people like him are a normal sight. So the group and I didn't care what he looked like and I gave them money as I already saw what I wanted and picked them out while I also took out money for myself. I decided to pick out a stimpack, radaway, med-x, rad-x, a doctor's bag, and a bottle of Sunset Sarsparilla, along with a bag to hold them all. In total it only costed $45 and I was very satisfied with my purchases. Though I was confused with how cheap they were and I then saw the vendor smiling at me. It was then I realized, I fucked up. I felt a weird sensation like I was falling and being pulled in multiple while also losing my vision rapidly. I could hear my friends calling to me as they did not look so good as well but who cares at the moment as the feeling is getting worse and worse by the second. I mean as much as I wish to travel I had obligations at home, like feeding my fish and watching Stranger Things. I briefly wondered if the dimensional travel would count towards my points on my card. It was at this time I realized that I was unconsciously resisting going through the portal thingy and I wondered if I should just resist it all. The choice was between staying here with my goldfish named oreo or traveling to another universe as my favorite Fallout character other than the Lone Wanderer and possibly meeting best pony Luna. Granted, I haven't watched a large amount of the series but I was going to get around to it eventually. Most of my knowledge came from fics and hearing my friends talk about it. I made my choice and stopped resisting the feeling. All of a sudden my vision started darkening rapidly and the sensation got stronger. Eventually the feeling stopped and I could not see anything around me, and it scared me somewhat. \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ After an undetermined amount of time, I started to regain feeling within my body. For some reason I felt stronger and my clothes were heavier. I then remembered that everything we had on us becomes real in the universe we're went to. As I started to regain feeling in my limbs I felt a strange falling sensation and said out loud, " Must be disoriented from the trip. " Of course after I said that I looked down and realized my mistake. Currently I'm at a large height and falling at a very high speed. I swear I did not scream like a little girl as soon as I saw the ground fast approaching. On a side note my music is still playing and I could hear it very well. I don't like gravity as it tries to make me friends with the ground and it still tried in this dimension. As soon as I hit the ground I saw a picture of the Vault-Boy in the corner of my peripheral vision. He had multiple broken limbs and I soon remembered that that is what my body is at the moment. Also in the bottom left of my vision is a health bar and bottom right is a AP bar. Currently my health is very low and I should probably fix that. "Son of a bitch this hurts." I put very eloquently as I tried pulling up my Pip-Boy. I eventually got the device to my face and came across a new dilemma. "Where the fuck is the place to change the screen? I have not traveled dimensions to die from bleeding out by not finding the right button." The button is found and I found another problem. Where do I apply stimpacks and doctor's bags? I tried pressing the screen where the health option are and it worked! I immediately felt better and I stood up to survey my surroundings. There was one conclusion I came to. "Well, I'm on top of a mountain surrounded by God knows what. Oh dear Lord kill me know please. I know I didn't believe in you but I now have a fear of heights so just end me. ... No answer? Well, fuck me in the butt." Before I went anywhere I decided to check my personal computer and discovered many things. First I was at level 50 with the Thought you died perk. Second, I had every perk in the game even though my character did not have them. Third , all the weapons I had had unlimited ammo with every type for each and the CND for each one is not present. Lastly, all the medicinal supplies I bought from the merchant were also infinite. Basically I was a walking war machine stuck on a mountain because of a fear of heights. This is great. Eh, fuck it I'm gonna take a nap as it is dark out. \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ After a "short" nap I finally took in the rest of my surroundings and looking down the mountain for a path. What I discovered exceeded all expectations. For when I looked, I saw a castle that even from above, it looks like it's floating. And to justify that what I was seeing was real I could see a town below the castle and a small village in the distance. "So, I get to live every brony's dream huh? Nice." I stated after looking around a couple more times. I decided to pull out my AMR to use it as makeshift binoculars. After unloading the weapon and figuring out the rest of my Pip-Boy, I finally looked through the scope. Apparently the scope has a way higher magnification than in game as I could see everything. What I first spotted was at first a bunch of multi colored blobs roaming around. As the scope began to focus the blobs became more refined and easy to tell what they were. I guess it was the final nail in the coffin for me, as I still did not fully accept that I was in the world of My Little Pony, despite the evidence. After about 10ish minutes of crying I decided to return to my reconnaissance mission to ascertain what time I'm currently in at the moment. I got bored as looking at nobles doing noble things is boring and made me want to punch something. The location of the poorer section of the city was located and then also looked upon from the Ghost above. From what I could see, there was a big gathering of ponies and some other species. I think I managed to spot Fancy Pants and his wife in the crowd down below. Though what surprised me the most was the fact that I could see to large ponies in tiaras and having both wings and horns. My brain farted for a moment as I forget their names. But of course, one does not simply forget the great princesses Celestia and Luna. It seems there were down there shopping at the stands, avoiding the higher places within the city. For that, I admire them and it seems like it I found my way down there they might help me. Eventually, I put away the AMR and decided to find a way down the mountain. From what I could see so far there were no clear paths down but I have played Fallout 3 and New Vegas multiple times, and trust me, you learn to make gravity your bitch. It's even better in Skyrim though. So using the tactic nearly everyone who's played Fallout knows, I slowly but surely made my way down the mountain. I did fall farther sometimes and had to take a couple stimpacks but eh, I have infinity so it's fine. Once I reached the city, I had to decide if I was going to walk in or sneak in. Pros for numero uno, ponies could see I'm a very open person and not trying to attack them. Cons, could be mistaken for a monster and be set upon by the local guards. Pros for number two, not spotted and can get closer into the ,hopefully good, graces of the rulers of ponyland. Cons, get caught, he mistaken as a monster trying to sneak into Canterlot to hurt the princesses and he set upon by the local guards. Oh look, a bit! I can use this to decide. Let's go heads for sneaking and tails for outright walking in. And finally lets yeet it into the air. \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ As I saw it falling I contemplated my life and decided that if I mess up horribly and die then I would have no regrets. When it finally hit the ground it landed on tails. "Well time to go introduce myself to the populace." My voice was very unenthusiastic and you could hear the sarcasm in my tone. I started the rest of the way down towards where I saw the pretty pony princesses and let me tell you, I wasn't the most athletic guy but being in this new form had some great perks. When I eventually made it to the back of the gathering I started to gain the attention of multiple four-legged residents. They gave me weird looks as I went through, with the occasional fearful one. I know that the ponies are kind of racist and are somewhat scared of others but combined with my armor, I think I was really starting to concern multiple ponies as they went to fetch the guards. It's like the haven't seen a large something mysteriously appear in a large crowd with full body armor and a strange thing on its back. After some time the ponies came back with the guards. I was struggling to not burst out laughing but seeing these cute little ponies in golden armor was pushing my limits. I mean come on! Most people know that good is one of the weakest metals out there! I mean I guess I have to cut them a little slack their community doesn't seem to be very advanced. After a short amount of time I noticed the guards trying to surround me and be quiet about it. They were failing horribly and so I noticed very quickly. They eventually finished their task and proceded to yell at me. "Stop right there creature!" The guard said using magic very obviously to increase the volume of his voice. I found it funny as they had to bring in their CO to deal with me. "What if I don't want to?" I decided to respond with after a while. I got my answer soon after. "If you don't stop then we will be forced to bring you down!" Said the purple armor horse. Of course after I heard that I smartly bursted out laughing. This understandably, pissed off the guards and a gained the attention of the Princesses. "Trust me," I said after I recovered from laughing, "As much as I don't want to fight, if we do I can't say that I won't fight back if you engage first." This riled them up further and it looked like the ponies were getting ready to charge with the Princesses even lighting up their horns in case anything happens. Well, this is a great first day in Equestria! Author's Note This is my first story on FIMfiction so I would love feedback. If you dislike please tell me why in the comments and I'll see what I could do to rectify the problem. Take note that I have no editors and I'm writing on a tablet. Updates will be whenever I feel like it as I am focusing on school at the moment. I know that I'm making the character out to be a gary sue but this is my first story and this is what I'm sticking with.
I Really Shouldn't Open My MouthRoughly two minutes since last chapter... "Go to ponyland they said. It will be fun they said. Well, I get they didn't think they would have the entire motherfucking guard and the damn princesses on their ass!" I've been running for two minutes straight and I don't know how as New Vegas technically didnt have running in it without mods. I never got it cuz mods are for people with more space on their PC. "Stop creature so we can take you into custody!" Were some of things I heard from the guards and princesses while running. So if course my reply every time was "Fuck off ya cunts!" I think I'm starting to make them tired as thankfully once I got to the edge of the city they wouldn't have energy to follow. Probably. I hope. After about 3 minutes of sustained running I noticed that the guards are braking off and the princesses are nowhere to be seen. Hopefully they thought that I wasn't worth their time and left me to their "great" guards. This was probably not the case but a guy can dream right? Right!? I fucking don't give a shit anyways so fuck. Oh look, shadows in the sky that I can only assume are pegasi and hopefully not the princesses. (Author's note: you already know shits going down soon. That is the end of this painfully obvious psa.) What do you know, it's the princesses moving in from above as I spare a glance up. As soon as I noticed the the alicorns I fucking ran even faster than before and hauled ass out of the city. Although I should've guessed that the guards who left went to guard the gates to the city. "Oh for fuck's sake give me a fucking break universe! Just once as its only been like two hours since I got up!" Of course after shouting that to the sky I got weird looks from my pursuers. Thankfully though a short time back they realized the futility of telling me to stop and proceeded to continue the chase throughout the city. I did manage to lose most of their guards when I started to jump and climb on buildings. The only ones that kept up were the pegasi and the princesses. Though I was getting scared as I lost site of one princess, that being Celestia. Of course as soon as I noticed the princess not being present even more flying guards came up. With that I decided to duck into an alley and hopefully catch my breath. \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ I lost the guards after I hid in the alley. There were ponies inside of it but they looked homeless so I decided to be nice and have a casual conversation for the time being. "Nice weather were having huh?" He just gave me an odd look and returned to whatever it was that he was doing before I showed up. I sat in that alley for a good twenty or so minutes. It was a good time as I found a large piece of bread. I gave 3/4 to the homeless pony and ate the rest of the bread. I'm not going to lie I've not had bread that good sinc the last time I was at my parents. I decided to risk everything when I poked my head out of the alley to see if the coast was clear. It wasn't. "Creature, we have you surrounded! Come out and surrender!" This came from the large blue pony. I was about to leave through the back when I spotted the large white one on the other side and pegasi above me. Walking out I decided to try and distract them using any means. Sadly I didn't have any flashbangs as they would've been useful. "Okay I'll admit it, you caught me. I tried my best and I'll go quietly - what's over there!" I pointed out quickly and to my surprise they actually looked and I took off through a gap in the guards I spotted walking out. I got a pretty good distance before I was followed. It took them awhile before the caught up but by then I was approaching the edge of the city and hopefully a exit. I was following a river to get out as I guessed that river may mean moat which means exit. I was horribly wrong as when I reached the end of the river it was just a cliff. And it was at that moment I knew, I fucked up. So I stood there like an idiot just staring off the edge instead of running. The guards and the princesses did catch up and noticed me at the edge. They thought I was thinking of jumping to escape them and attempted to negotiate. "Stop and back away from the edge creature it's not safe!" And things like that were what was the commonplace saying towards me as I started to turn around and back away from the edge. But just when things were looking good my foot got caught on loose rocks and I proceeded to trip and call backwards. Throughout that short time span of tripping I only had one thought on my mind, "Fuck" \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ In all honesty building Cantorlot on a motherfucking mountain was a bad idea. If you knocked out the supports the entire city would collapse. But I know what y'all are saying "the supports are reinforced with magic of something!" but you have to realize that even if something is reinforced it can still break after few sustained attacks. I'm not even mentioning the edges that have no guard rails whatsoever. Seriously all one has to do to take out the capital is sneak in from the edges and destroy the supports with explosives like C-4 and other explosion-creating devices. I was contemplating it while I was falling for a minute straight and still no ground in sight. It really pissed me off that the princesses would let such a dangerous thing still be when there are children running around. Sorry I'm just venting right now cuz I'm angry at myself for tripping and the princesses for having a very large safety hazard. As the two minute mark approaches I look down and finally notice the ground which is a very large lake as it looks small from up here. Sadly it's still going to hurt like a bitch because of physics. So, fuck you physics! What have you done for me besides be a bitch to pass back in highschool! It seems the pain is getting closer as the body of water is getting larger. I brace myself for the impact that will more than likely cripple multiple bones....... What do you know, it did! All of them in fact. I can't feel anything but I still somehow opened up the Pip-Boy and used a Doctor's bag. With my body no longer crippled I swam to the surface to catch my breath as I had no Rebreather on me to my disappointment. I sat on the beach for a short time and drank a bottle of sarsparilla. It was delicious and served the purpose of healing my body. I layed down on the nice sand and took a nap, not noticing the strange looking forest behind me. \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ I was woken up to the sound of rustling bushes from behind and to the sides. As I got up i had the misfortune of smelling a very foul odor that was worse than dead fish. If I remember correctly then the smell would be from timberwolves and judging from the eyes i spotted in the bushes inside the forest I was correct. "Nice doggies, don't eat me I don't taste good." I tried reasoning with them as soon as they exited the bushes. There were five in total and they were big motherfuckers. I then realized something, "I have guns why don't I just shoot them?" As soon as I said it they started advancing on me and I pulled out the Sprtel-Wood. They looked confused at the objects before it looked like they shrugged and continued moving forward towards me. So I aimed at the biggest and held the trigger down for a straight 3 seconds. It disintegrated and the other wolves looked just about ready to run at me. One did run at me and I quickly pulled out Maria and put two in its head. The other three looked nervous and were probably rethinking why they thought I was an easy meal. As the timberwolves started to move away I shot one with the Survivalists rifle and it exploded. I then equipped the riot shotgun and started to lose it with DB shells. The one wolf started to run at me while the other ran. I shot the one that was running but I got tackled by the last one. It's breath was even worse than its smell so I put it out of its misery and made it explode. "This has been a great first day in equestria!" I'm fairly certain even the animals could detect my sarcasm as I walked through the forest. Author's Note Sorry for the wait I've been off hiking and playing games. Thanks for the support and telling me to get my ass in gear to finish the chapter. As always if you dislike tell me why and give me constructive criticism to help my writing. Also I discovered listening to music does help your writing. Now I'm going to bed as its almost eleven here.
Where the Fick am I?So, I listened to the voices, (not really), and I decided to wander. I decided to blow up the castle base so I could not look at it and walk away. It wasn't very good anyway. Might've caused some chaos among the ponies about what just happened in the forest, but I don't give a shit. The journey took me days upon days, and that was just to leave the forest. I won't describe what happened then as the story will just turn into The Lord of the Rings. Walking and walking with some fighting mixed in. I did find a hydra though, but not the drug kind. It tasted good, not like chicken but more or less like a fish. Eventually, I made it out of the forest, (No shit Sherlock). What I wandered into appeared to be the infamous badlands. It just looked like New Mexico to me but that's not the point. There were no animals or life of any sort for a while, not until I made it to a small town. When I walked in I really wanted to start playing big iron, but I knew I wasn't the time yet. Soon. I did at least try to say hi all to the ponies living there but they decided to hide. It was a ghost town, straight out of the wild west. The entire time I was just strolling through looking for the closest bar or Texas Red. They both were priority one. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ Sadly walking through town I found no ponies, and even worse still not a single bar or Texas Red. It made me sad but I know that just because the notches on his pistol numbered 1 and 19 more I could still beat him. It was only a matter of time, with me having a big iron on my hip. I had no idea where I was going but I knew that if I walked far enough I may be able to find a changeling hive. I say a because I don't know if there's more than one. There might be, but I certainly don't know. But what I did know is that if changelings and/or Chrysalis attack me I will PURGE THEM IN HOLY HELLFIRE. Maybe I could've deposed Chrysalis and become king. That would be a sight. I wouldn't be good at it though, that's what I have Yes Man for, to do all the governing stuff. Good God, I know that being alone makes you crazy but I didn't expect it so soon! I mean I just though about becoming a king! How stupid is that? I would prefer being a president, because that way I can just delegate everything like I did to Yes Man. Of course I would stay president forever but that's not that point. The point is you're a bitch. So anyways back to our not so regularly scheduled programming, I was walking. There wasn't much to say about it. There was desert all around with not much else. No animals, plants, or shape shifting bugs. That last part made me disappointed. That meant that the only contact I've made in this world is running from the law and a zebra (that sounds very concerning, like Zecora is a drug dealer or something, probably). I get off track a lot don't I? Anyways I started to run, even though it's impossible without mods. And so I just kept running, Forest Gump style. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ At the end of my run I came across a jungle. It didn't look ominous or anything, it looked like a normal jungle. Which of course made me even more suspicious. This is Equestria, (maybe, I don't know I'm not a map), there are no normal forests. With my luck I'll find that cat guy and the Indiana Jones knock off in a temple with an artifact that controls the sun or something. Unfortunately, there was no visible end to the jungle to my sides and I wasn't about to climb a jungle tree, (even though that's how you get the wood, from the top down). So the only directions I could go was either back or forward. I, of course, went into the jungle knowing I was going to probably get up to all kinds of shenanigans in there. And I couldn't even burn the forest, with it being a jungle it would be too humid. So that meant that I had to bushwhack the entire way through. Eventually, I came across a temple/pyramid/whatever but I got bored of jungle and decided to explore it. This took me a while and the loot was underwhelming, to say the least. There was no gold or cool looking things, just a parkour course and a rock. So, using my AMR with explosive rounds, I blew the temple sky high. I just wanted to shoot it a couple times to get rid of my disappoint some how, but I missed the old explosives that were lining the walls. I went about 20 feet back just from the shock wave. It was one of the coolest things I've seen in my life. And even better, I only broke a couple bones and only half of my health was gone. After I collected my intact AMR I booked it, knowing that everyone and everything heard the explosion, drawing them to the site. By the time I stopped running and rested for the night I knew that, meaning I looked on my map, that I was at least 30 miles away from the ruins of the temple ruins. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ The next couple of days I kept walking, eventually finding an ocean. So I used my available resources and made a boat,( a high survival skill is necessary, don't ask). So getting on the boat I used my superior knowledge and skills of the ocean to beach myself only days later way farther down the coast, next to mountains and volcanoes. And so, leaving my boat to its fate, I headed into the hostile looking terrain, hoping to actually talk to someone. Maybe end up killing someone, which is probably a high possibility. That means I get to have more fun at least. Author's Note And so, I update again. This chapter has a lot of references, I blame what I've been playing and TheRussianBadger. That also means that I'm dead, for YOU CAN'T KILL ME, I AM ALREADY DEAD!
Montage Time!Author's Note So here we are. It's been a long time coming hasn't seen it? Also cookies to whoever get the reference. I'm sorry it took so long and is short i planned on it being longer but moving and stuff this past summer sucked. I also blame battlefield 4 now that I got back into it. The net fighter ribbon sucks to try and get though. Don't worry though, I'm going to make a longer chapter that sums up what was supposed to happen this one. Montage Time! "I wonder, if you take enough sticks after you kill a timberwolf, will it still reform?" When I'm alone I talk to myself out loud and I don't know why. Perhaps I'm really speaking to an invisible audience. Or to God himself. Which leads to the question, why are we here? Are we just a cosmic coincidence? Or is there really someone up there? I don't know but that shit keeps me up at night. You see my brain's on auto-pilot at this point as I walk through the forest cold and wet. There's barely any sunlight so my armor can't be dried and water has gone into a very uncomfortable place. Overall it's been pretty shitty the last couple o' hours. I should probably make myself a makeshift shelter or find that one castle thing out here. I could build a shelter inside the castle for shits and giggles. Would it be called shelter-ception or just having a base inside of a large building. Fuck if I know. This is going to take a long time to find the castle and even longer to build a home. Too bad this ain't Fortnite. Well I guess I should pick up the pace. \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ It's been a couple weeks since our last long talk brain and I suppose were due for another one. I guess a recap is in order. We found the castle after a days walk and started to set up a makeshift camp. A few more after that I finished the outside walls and went to work on the interior. We've just finished and met a friendly neighborhood black pers- I mean zebra! Yes zebra! Totally what I was going to say. Don't worry about it. I couldnt understand a word she said but that's ok! (Please don't think I'm racist because of this, I blame the slight accent). This has been a scheduled update from your friendly neighbourhood arms dealer!
Well time is relativeAlright y'all, we're back. It's been awhile hasn't it? In the time I've been gone and you have heard nothing from me I have successfully built my home in the castle and I must say its looking good. I say built but what I really mean is I restored parts of the castle for better defense and well, who doesn't want a castle? (I know I want one). The forest is concerning and I have not ventured far into it. I have found a glowing tree and I just turned around and left, because I ain't dealing with glowing shit today. Reminds me of glowing ghouls. I still hate the color orange, thankfully there is none in this god damned forest. I got off topic didn't I? Sorry, flashbacks to cazadores are a bitch to deal with. I have fought a couple manticores that probably made their homes in the castle. They tasted pretty good, kind of like chick. The cockatrices did not though, so I tossed them into a ditch somewhere. I also have gotten very familiar with all my weapons. By that I mean I decimated the timberwolf population for the moment. It was fun. Sadly, after everything I do not know what to do. I kind of want to talk to the ponies and get to know them, hopefully without getting arrested in the process. Or I can venture to new lands and fuck with everyone until I end up dying, which means all my storage is going to be taken up by saves. Hehe, "Stop right the-" 'quicksaving' "re criminal scum! You have violated the law! Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence. Your goods are now forfeit." ... "Then pay with your blood!" Author's Note I can't write for shit. Send help, or a laptop. Either one really. But I do not know where I want to send the story. The choices are yours viewers. Please don't fuck me over. Thank you.
