Parma Quentaron Sintë Undómëo

by Undome Tinwe

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Princess Cadance, Rarity, Shining Armor, Sex, Anthology, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 25298

A collection of short stories and drabbles.

A collection of various drabbles and short stories that did not make it to publication as individual stories.

Published 2018-02-13 23:10:08 UTC
Last updated 2021-06-16 04:53:00 UTC

With Apologies to Homer (RariTwi Romance/Greek Mythology)

Author's Note

Originally published here: https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/787932/im-dreaming-of-a-purple-christmas

An attempt to write a silly little drabble on Christmas Eve that ended with me staying up until 4am writing 2200 words.

With Apologies to Homer (RariTwi Romance/Greek Mythology)

Thwip! Clack! Thud!

The young noblestallion stared in disbelief at the arrow lying on the floor. Turning to the Princess on her throne, he whined, "I just got unlucky, Princess. Give me another arrow and I'll prove myself to you!"

An orange mare wearing a Stetson hat spoke up from her position beside the Princess. "Y'all know the rules of this here contest," she said, her country twang at odds with the opulence of the palace interior. "You each get one arrow, and one arrow only. If you can't shoot it through all twenty rings and hit that there target at the end, yer out." Before the stallion could protest further, the mare called out, "guards! Please escort this fine stallion out."

The stallion had enough dignity to walk away without the guards having to resort to force, much to everyone's relief. As he left, the next challenger entered the throne room, a mare wearing a horribly gaudy necklace that clashed with her coat color. She eyed the twenty rings shaped in the form of six-pointed stars lined up nicely in a row with haughty arrogance.

Picking up the bow, the mare addressed the throne. "Princess," she said, regal pride dripping from her tone. "Know that, when I win this challenge and use the boon you bestow upon me to win your hoof in marriage, I shall use my title as Princess to serve the ponies of Equestria and bring about an even greater nation."

The Princess did not reply, though the mare sitting next to her let out a most unladylike snort. After a short silence, the mare nocked her arrow and sent the projectile flying through the air.

Thwip! Clack! Thud!

It didn't even make it past the tenth ring.

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this… this joke of a contest," the Princess hissed at her companion as the mare was dragged out of the throne room under protest.

"Easy there, Twi," her companion responded with that damnably steady tone of hers. "Y'know it's just an excuse to get all these here suitors out of your mane for a bit."

Twilight completely ignored the next stallion who came to try and win a boon from her, a boon that everypony knew would be used for only one thing.

"And what if one of them wins?" she asked. "What then, Applejack?"

Thwip! Clack! Thud!

Applejack grinned. "Well then, I reckon it'll be good for you to become an honest mare."

Twilight flinched. "That's not funny," she muttered.

Applejack's expression sobered. "Sorry Twi," she said. "I shouldn't've said that. Still, ain't no way anypony's gonna be able to beat this challenge. Only mare who's good enough with a bow is..."

"You can say her name," Twilight said as her friend trailed off. "It's not like she's… gone, or anything, no matter what you or anyone else says. I know she's still out there, and she'll come back to me."

"We'll see," Applejack replied.

Thwip! Clack! Thud!

"Huh, that one almost got through fifteen rings," Applejack commented as yet another potential suitor left dejectedly. "Might wanna consider trying to recruit him into the guard or something."

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Twilight glared as another stallion trotted into the room. "You know, maybe I should just have everypony who loses executed. I can do that, you know; Celestia never bothered to get rid of the law that gives a princess the power to execute somepony without a trial. I found it in the books right next to the one about the Consort's Quest." She let out a bitter laugh. "I should've just repealed both of them on the spot, before Rarity saw them."

Thwip! Clack! Thud!

Twilight threw her hooves up in the air she awaited the next challenger. "She knew I could have had the law stricken from the books in less than a week. Why'd she have to go and leave me here?"

"Y'know how Rarity is," Applejack said patiently, "That girl's got a heart for romance bigger than her darn head. A law that says that anyone who wants to marry a princess has to go on some grand quest to win her hoof in marriage first? No way she'd miss the chance live out one of her sappy romance books."

"But this isn't a story!" Twilight protested, "this is real life! She's already been gone for months. What if she got hurt and I couldn't get to her? What if she never comes back?"

Thwip! Clack! Thud!

"Now now, Twi," Applejack laid a comforting hoof on her shoulder. "Don't lose out hope yet. You've been strong this whole time, even when these fool ponies showed up trying to get you to move on and marry one of them."

"It's been so long, though," Twilight whispered. "Maybe you all were right all along. Maybe I need to accept that..." she couldn't even bring herself to finish the thought, the pain in her heart cutting off her words.

"There's just one more pony left," Applejack said. "Let's just get through this and then we can have hot chocolate with the girls."

Not all of the girls, Twilight wanted to say as the final suitor entered the throne room.

From her lithe frame, Twilight deduced that she was a mare, but it was hard to tell due to the cloak she had draped over herself, with a hood that covered her head entirely. She stood angled in such a way as to prevent Twilight from seeing her face, and as she walked towards the center of the room, all Twilight could see were her dainty white hooves trotting along the polished floor.

The cloak was the most fashionable thing she'd seen tonight, despite its simplicity. Years of spending time with Rarity had taught her to recognize expert stitching, and this cloak was woven with skill only a scant few ponies possessed. Seeing it just made her heart ache at the thought that she might never see her true love ever again.

The mare didn't speak a word as she picked up the bow with her magic, her face still turned away from Twilight. Her silence was a little unnerving, and Twilight started to feel the faintest embers of anger at this mare who seemed determined to disrespect her with her complete lack of acknowledgement of her princess. Twilight had met her fair share of arrogant suitors, but none held a candle to this mare's insolence, and she was tempted to cut the contest short and have her thrown in the dungeon to teach her a lesson.

Still, she held her tongue and maintained her composure as befitting of a Princess of Equestria, even when the mare's blue magic wrapped around the diamond-shaped tip of the arrow, giving it an appearance very similar to a cutie mark she was intimately familiar with. The mare's stance was perfect as she nocked the arrow, as far as Twilight could tell from the form beneath the cloak. The mare herself lined up with the line of rings, and after a tense moment, released the arrow.

Thwip! Thunk!

Twilight stared in horror at the arrow that was now sticking out from the dead center of the target. Shock numbed her mind as she turned towards the mare, her movements stiff and mechanical. "Congratulations," she heard her own voice say from far away. "You have completed the challenge. Name your boon, and if it is within my power, it shall be granted."

For a moment, the other mare didn't speak, giving more time for the cold dread to creep down Twilight's spine. She knew what the mare was going to ask; all of the challengers had come here for one purpose and one purpose only, and the thought of having to betray her lover in order to keep her word sickened her.

Finally, the mare spoke, her head tilting towards Twilight but still shrouding her features. "I've always wanted to spend a night of torrid passion with a princess. I hope you won't mind if I use my boon to fulfill my fantasies."

Outrage surged through Twilight. "How dare you! I ought to throw you in the dungeons for your insolence..." a second later, her brain finally registered the voice of the winner as she pulled down her hood to expose her identity to the princess.

"Well, I'm not entirely opposed to such a setting for our liaison, though you'll have to give me some time to prepare it for what I have in mind."

"Rarity!" Twilight leapt from her seat, bounding down the steps of the dais three at a time until she nearly tackled Rarity to the ground. "You're back!"

"Oof." Rarity wrapped her forelegs around Twilight. "I am indeed, darling. Did you miss me?"

"You have no idea," Twilight whispered. "You were gone for so long."

"Terribly sorry about that, dear," Rarity replied, her own composure beginning to break in the embrace of her princess. "I was detained against my will in the Badlands after some awful business involving a rather violent disagreement over etiquette."

Twilight raised an eyebrow, even though she knew Rarity couldn't see it. "Etiquette?"

"Yes, quite," Rarity said. "I thought it was terribly bad manners not to return something that had been stolen, even if the theft took place over a thousand years ago. The dragon begged to differ."

"You got into a fight with a dragon?" Twilight held on even tighter to Rarity as her voice began to get a bit hysterical. "Oh my gosh! Are you okay? Did he hurt you? If he did, I'll find him and..." her voice darkened as the threat hung in the air.

"There's no need to worry," Rarity said, patting Twilight lightly on the back. "All's well that ends well, as they say." She slowly extricated herself from Twilight's embrace so that she could see her face again. "And now, I believe you have a boon to fulfill to me. I expect nothing less than your best efforts." Her voice dripped with hot honey, and her half-lidded eyes were so smokey it was a miracle that Twilight could see her irises.

Twilight stared back with a deadpan expression. "Really? You get a boon from me and that's what you ask for?"

"Well, I wasn't going to ask for your hoof in marriage." Rarity rolled her eyes. "After all, I've already completed my Consort's Quest to earn it by law."

Twilight's eyes widened. "Wait, you mean…?"

From somewhere inside her cloak, Rarity produced an old, dusty tome. "I hope you appreciate just how hard it was to retrieve this. The dragon was quite attached to it."

"The only copy of Star Swirl's On the Origins of Magic." A purple hoof stroked the cover reverently. "Do you have any idea how many different fields of study this will impact? History, thaumaturgy, history of thaumaturgy, philosophy, metaphysics..."

Her ramblings were stopped by a dainty white hoof pressed against her muzzle. "I think I have an inkling of much this means to you, dear. So, do you declare my Quest to be complete?"

"I do," Twilight said before frowning. "You know, you didn't have to do this. You had me worried sick for months!"

"I know, and I truly am sorry." For the first time since the reveal of her identity, Rarity's smiled faded. "I was expecting this to be a fun romp through some foreign cities, a few weeks seeking out inspiration for my Spring fashion line before I came back triumphant with a gift for you. But then that ghastly affair with the Diamond Dogs happened, and I stumbled upon that hive of rogue changelings, and before I knew it things had gotten quite out of hoof. Can you forgive me?"

"Of course," Twilight said without hesitation.

"Wonderful!" Rarity's smirk returned, a twitch of the lips that made Twilight's heart soar to behold. "So, will you grant me my boon?" A hoof cupped Twilight's chin before sliding down her barrel.

Before Twilight could respond, a polite cough brought her attention back to the throne. "Begging your pardon," Applejack said, a wide grin splitting her cheeks. "But I reckon I oughta make myself scarce while you two lovebirds catch up."

Twilight's eyes narrowed. "You knew about this, didn't you? That's why you wanted me to host that contest."

A shrug. "I told you Rarity liked her big, dramatic moments."

Twilight looked between her smirking marefriend – no, fiancée now – and her equally smirking friend and let a small smile grace her own lips. "Alright, fine, I guess I can forgive you two for making me worry a little longer." She pointed a hoof a Rarity. "But I'm definitely going to get you back for that when I fulfill your boon."

"I await your pleasure, Your Highness," Rarity said with a small bow, her voice sending shivers down Twilight's spine.

"And that's my cue to skedaddle. I'll let the girls know not to expect y'all until tomorrow." A pause. "Or maybe after the weekend."

"Thanks AJ," Twilight called out as the mare took her leave before turning her attention back to Rarity.

"So, about that boon..."

"Wow, you're really fixated on that, aren't you, Rarity?"

"I've been through some very lonely nights with only thoughts of what I would do with you when I returned to keep me company. So if you'll excuse me, I would very much like to begin ravishing you."

Twilight let out an exaggerated sigh. "I suppose a princess must always do her duty."

"Equestria thanks you for your sacrifice." Rarity leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. "So, your room or mine?"

RariTwi Story Bits 2: Paying the Piper (RariTwi Romance/SoL)

Author's Note

First published here: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/197869/raritwi-rarilight-twilight-x-rarity/thread/350962/slams-door-down--whos-up-for-story-bits#comment/6319512

Word Prompt: Education Pipe Piano

RariTwi Story Bits 2: Paying the Piper (RariTwi Romance/SoL)

Rarity stared at the eldritch mass of pipes and pumps in mute horror.

Standing next to her, Twilight beamed, a totally adorable and naive smile gracing her features. "Do you like it?"

"My piano!" Rarity wailed, unable to contain herself anymore. "My poor, poor piano. Whatever did it do to deserve this fate?"

"Oh, right." Twilight's smile turned sheepish. "Sorry about that. I'll make sure to get you a new one. It's just, I was so excited to install an Organ to the Outside in my own castle that I got a little carried away."

Rarity inspected the closest pipe with a critical eye, finding the copper construct to be horribly clashing with the elegant mahogany of her beloved instrument. "And why exactly do you need to build such a contraption?"

"Well, I'm supposed to be giving a bunch of nobles a tour of the castle tomorrow." A spark of anger flashed in her eyes. "The same ones that panned your debut at the Canterlot Fashion Week last month."

Rarity shivered as something cold chilled her marefriend's tone. "And I was thinking that they might enjoy an education as to how Equestrian Royalty used to deal with insults to The Crown."

Stepping forward, Rarity wrapped her hooves around Twilight in a tight embrace. "Have I mentioned how much I love you lately?"

Twilight smirked as she pressed a kiss to Rarity's lips, sending a whole different kind of shiver down her spine. "I could stand to hear it a bit more often."

Rarity's eyes burned with passion as her breathing became ragged. "You'll be hearing it much more tonight, Your Highness. And I think it's time I gave you a very different kind of education in the bedroom."

RariTwi Story Bits 3: The Morning After (RariTwi Romance)

Author's Note

First published here: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/197869/raritwi-rarilight-twilight-x-rarity/thread/350962/slams-door-down--whos-up-for-story-bits#comment/6319756

Word Prompt: Intimacy Rose Coffee

RariTwi Story Bits 3: The Morning After (RariTwi Romance)

Twilight awoke to the sensation of somepony drilling into her head with a jackhammer.

Groaning in pure misery, she lit her horn on pure instinct, triggering a series of spells she'd set to activate a complex mechanism of weights, pulleys, boilers, and gears in order to deliver a large mug of steaming liquid into her hooves. After a few spills, she managed to down enough of the coffee to clear her mind, allowing her to pierce through the haze of agony and giving her the presence of mind to open her eyes.

The first thing she noticed was the rose petals covering her, splotches of red that dotted her body like giant, beautiful welts. The second thing she noticed was that the sunlight streaming in from the windows was sending lances of fiery pain into her skull, and she quickly closed them again and laid her head back on her warm, soft pillow.

That last thought made her tense. Twilight tilted her head and peeked open her eyes to see a tangle of purple hair against a white coat. Memories of the previous night came crashing down on her like a bucket of cold water, instantly restoring a modicum of her lucidity.

The party. The alcohol. The drunken confession. The spontaneous, shared intimacy.

A yawn interrupted Twilight's reverie, and she quickly scrambled to her hooves despite her pounding headache as her former pillow lifted her head to glance around Twilight's bedroom in confusion.

"What in Celestia's name…?" that soft, elegant voice that Twilight so adored was cut off by a loud yawn. "Where am I?"

"My bedroom," Twilight replied shakily, waiting for Rarity to turn around and face her.

"Twilight?" Cloudy blue eyes met panicked purple ones. Rarity frowned. "It is far too early for me to be dealing with this. You wouldn't happen to have anything restorative in here, would you?"

"Here." Twilight floated over her mug of coffee, which Rarity gulped down with a distinct lack of grace.

"Thank you, darling." Rarity floated the mug back to Twilight before surveying the room, her normal poise returning. "Now, would you care to explain to me why we are covered in rose petals?"

"Err, I might have gone just a teensy bit overboard with the summoning spell." Twilight shot Rarity a nervous grin.

"I see." Rarity's eyes narrowed. "So it seems like we both had a little too much to drink last night." Her expression was unreadable, no matter how much Twilight to divine the mare's feelings.

"A little bit, yeah." A pause. "So, alcohol has the psychological effect of lowering inhibitions."

"I'm aware of that, dear. I highly doubt you would have declared your undying love to me in song otherwise."

Twilight felt her cheeks redden. "Right, yes. Still, it didn't make me do anything I wouldn't have wanted to do while sober." Heart pounding in her chest, Twilight steeled herself for rejection.

Rarity responded by raising an eyebrow. "Even the thing with the weather vane?"

"Especially the thing with the weather vane."

There was a short silence as Rarity continued to study Twilight. Finally, the white mare spoke. "Well, I can't say I didn't do anything last night that I didn't want to do either."

Hope fluttered in Twilight's chest. "So you mean…?" she trailed off, unable to complete her question and speak her desires out loud.

"Yes, Twilight, I have feelings for you as well, and I don't regret what happened last night, even if I wish we had both been sober for our first experience of sharing our bodies."

"Then… you want to try being a couple?" Time stood still as Twilight waited for a response.

"I… I would like that very much." For the first time this morning, Twilight saw Rarity's stoic mask falter, revealing the uncertain mare hidden beneath the cool facade. An instant later the vulnerability was replaced by an easy smirk. "But only if you clean up these rose petals first. While I find the idea of them incredibly romantic, they are quite, err, sticky to deal with in reality."

"Of course." A flash of magic later, and all signs of the red flowers were gone, leaving behind only the smell of strong coffee and shared intimacy.

"And if you could fetch some more of that wonderful coffee?"

"Anything you want, Rarity," with a smile, Twilight plodded over towards the kitchen, the future looking brighter than it ever had before.

Or maybe that was the hangover talking.

RariTwi Story Bits 4: The Attic in the Attic (RariTwi Eldritch SoL)

Author's Note

First published here: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/197869/raritwi-rarilight-twilight-x-rarity/thread/350962/slams-door-down--whos-up-for-story-bits#comment/6319809

Word Prompt: Loyalty Attic Cap

RariTwi Story Bits 4: The Attic in the Attic (RariTwi Eldritch SoL)

Deep underground, a pair of mares rifled through a giant, polka-dotted, hypercubical box.

"Please put that thing down, dear. It's giving me the worst headache just looking at it."

Twilight reluctantly put down the non-Euclidean object in her hooves. "It's a ruler that measures Manehattan distance, Rarity! How is that even possible?"

"Darling, we're in Discord's attic, which I should note is approximately fifty hooves beneath his house, because Discord. Logic and reason have long since absconded from my mind." Her hoof reached into the box and pulled out a mass of rounded metal. "A cap made from bottle caps, how mundanely amusing." She tossed the item behind her as she continued to search the box.

"Oh hey, I found some loyalty." Rarity glanced up sharply to stare at the small, nondescript box in Twilight's hooves.

"Do you mean the Element of Loyalty?" If Discord had taken it from the Tree, then they would have to Have Words.

"No, I mean the abstract concept of loyalty." Twilight leaned over and stuck her snout into the box. "Hmm, I'm feeling the sudden desire to sacrifice myself for either Equestria or you."

"It's good to know you value me as much as the nation, darling. Now please, put that down and help me find this thing so that we can leave with some semblance of our sanities intact."

A few harrowing and disturbing minutes later, Rarity let out a triumphant cry. "Here it is!" she announced, holding up a perfect replica of the room they were in. A moment later, the floor rumbled, nearly sending the pair tumbling to the ground.

"Careful with that, Rarity," Twilight cautioned as she gingerly took the item from Rarity's grasp, making sure to move it at a constant speed in one direction. "Alright, let's get Discord's attic back to him so that we can get back to the tea party. I swear, next time remind me not to do any favors for that draconequus."

RariTwi Story Bits 5: The Princess and Her Precious Beauty (RariTwi Sci-Fi/Lost Cities-style)

Author's Note

First published here: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/197869/raritwi-rarilight-twilight-x-rarity/thread/350962/slams-door-down--whos-up-for-story-bits#comment/6319986

Word Prompt: Beauty Tiger City

Inspired by https://www.fimfiction.net/story/102166/lost-cities which is an amazing story that everyone should check out.

RariTwi Story Bits 5: The Princess and Her Precious Beauty (RariTwi Sci-Fi/Lost Cities-style)

In the heart of the City of Neo Ponyville, beneath the arcane glow of the mag-lev rails, rests an ancient statue that has stood strong for millennia.

The statue depicts two mares lying next to each other. One, a unicorn with a cutie mark of three diamonds, is working a stone facsimile of a device believed to be a primitive hoof-operated sewing machine, a sheet of broken slate flowing out from the petrified mare.

Next to her is an alicorn, her worn wings folded by her sides as she studies a strange tablet that those who had visited the nearby Ponyville Museum would recognize as a "book." The faded six-pointed star surrounded by smaller stars on her flank mark her as Princess Astra, who reigned at the end of the Age of Alicorns, which is when experts in thaumo-dating say the statue was created.

The vagaries of time have long since cracked away the inscription on the statue to nothing, and even the best geo-techs have only been able to reconstruct the phrase "Love Persists" and "Precious Beauty." Because of this, the statue is known to the ponies of Neo Ponyville as The Princess and Her Precious Beauty. Who this Precious Beauty is has been lost to time, though scholars believe that she may have been one of the mythical Pillars of Equestria, each of whom represented a different virtue: sorcery, honesty, kindness, loyalty, hope, and beauty.

Next to The Princess and Her Precious Beauty is a pair of adamantine figures standing guard over the lovers. One figure is a ferocious tiger poised to strike any who might threaten her charge. The plaque beneath her names her as "Opalescence."

On the other side of Opalescence is an owl whose eyes seem to glow in the reflected light of the neon signs of the stores set up to take advantage of the visiting tourists. The owl's plaque declares his name to be "Spike."

Historians have dated the figures to approximately two hundred years after the Third Reformation, or one thousand years after the last known legends of the Alicorns, and as such the existence of "Spike" and "Opalescence" continues to be a topic of intense academic debate.

However, no one denies the love that the Princess and her Beauty have shared, and all who come to pay homage to the legends of the past agree that whomever this Precious Beauty was, she must have been a true rarity to draw the affections of a princess.

RariTwi Story Bits 6: A Story Told (CloverNum/RariTwi Romance)

Author's Note

First published here: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/197869/raritwi-rarilight-twilight-x-rarity/thread/350962/slams-door-down--whos-up-for-story-bits#comment/6321435

Dialogue Prompt: "I'm sorry if it upsets you, but I'm going to marry her."

RariTwi Story Bits 6: A Story Told (CloverNum/RariTwi Romance)

"I'm sorry if it upsets you, but I'm going to marry her."

"I know."

"I do not wish to do this, my love."

"I know."

"If there was any other way..."

"I know. You have to do your duty to your people, just as I have advised. Noblesse oblige."

"Yes, a Princess must always do Her duty to Her people."

"It is a good match. A union with Hurricane will cement the bonds between the Unicorns and the Pegasi and e-ensure that Equestria emerges a-as a s-strong and u-united n-n-nation."

"Please don't cry, my precious Clover. If you cry, I fear I shall join you, and a Princess must always remain strong for Her people."

"You honor your title, Your Majesty."

"It's not all bad, you know. Hurricane has her tryst with Smart Cookie. It shouldn't be too hard to convince her that this is only a marriage of convenience, and to agree to a mutual turning of a blind eye. And nopony will question why my personal advisor spends so much time in my chambers."

"I mislike having to hide in the shadows. We have done it for far too long."

"I detest it as well, but at least we shall not be parted."

"Not until I am required to marry as well. You are not the only one with a duty to carry out."

"The Duke of Trottingham is having an affair with one of his maids, and by all accounts he loves her as dearly as life itself. He's a good stallion too, and it wouldn't be difficult for me to give him a position in the capital and arrange a marriage between you two."

"You've really thought this through, haven't you?"

"I do have my moments of political brilliance, my trusted advisor, especially when love is involved."

"Mhm."

"Now then, enough talk of the future. I wish to spend these final moments of night with my lover in passion, not trepidation."

"Whatever you desire, Your Majesty."

"Must you always address by my title?"

"You know I do not use the honorific as others do, Your Majesty. To me, you are the most majestic mare in all the realms, a mare I would call my Princess even if you did not wear a crown, for you have won my devotion a thousand times over."

"I know, dear Clover. You are too clever by half sometimes, but I love you all the same."

"And I love you as well, Your Majesty. And if I cannot have your hoof in marriage, I shall content myself with having your heart and your body."

"Oh Clover, would that I could proclaim the depths of our affections for all the realm to know. If the future of our nation did not hang in the balance, I would do so without a second thought. Why must the Fates be so cruel as to try and keep us apart?"

"I thought you said you did not wish to speak of this, Your Majesty."

"I know, but it just burns me so. The history books will remember my grand romance with Hurricane, and the Duke will be remembered as you husband. Yet our love shall fade into obscurity, unknown to all but ourselves and our most trusted servants. Tell me, dear Clover, am I being too selfish for wanting our bond to be remembered forevermore?"

"Your generous soul humbles me most days. Methinks it is not so wrong for you to desire something for yourself. And perhaps, in time, our story can be told..."

"Clover, that gleam in your eyes is most unsettling. The last time I beheld it you and Star Swirl caused the East Wing to be consumed by darkfire."

"I have an idea you may find pleasing. Princess Platinum, I swear to you by the stars in the sky that my love for you shall endure until Death itself comes for me. Can you do the same?"

"I – Why do you ask?"

"Please, humor me."

"Very well. I swear by the diamonds in my vault that my love for you shall burn for all eternity… Clover, why is your horn glowing?"

"One moment, Your Majesty. This spell requires a significant amount of concentration to cast."

"..."

"..."

"Are you quite finished, dear Clover?"

"Y–Yes. Phew, that was more difficult than I expected."

"Would you care to explain what sort of spell you have cast?"

"A spell of Prophecy, Your Highness. I have used magic to bind Fate itself to our will. So long as our love remains true throughout our lives, the prophecy shall be fulfilled."

"And what prophecy is that?"

"That one day, it shall come to pass that a child of your blood and a child of mine shall join together in a union of Harmony and Love, and when they seal their bond for all to see, the tale of our love shall be known to all the land."

"...Thank you, dear Clover. You have given me a gift of value beyond measure. My heart is yours, now and forever."

"As mine is yours, forevermore."

"Now then, we still have some time before I must give my reply. Shall I spend these last few hours showing you the depth of my love?"

"I live to serve your every desire, Your Majesty."

"And I yours, dear Clover."

"Do you, Twilight Sparkle, take Rarity to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I – I do."

"And do you, Rarity, take Twilight Sparkle to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do."

"Then by the power vested in me, in the name of Harmony, I now pronounce you Princess and Princess-Consort. You may now kiss."

"..."

"..."

"Twilight? Rarity? Are you two alright? W–What's happening?"

"..."

"..."

"Twilight!"

"Celestia?"

"Twilight, what happened? I sensed powerful magic from the heavens."

"Oh, it's nothing bad. Just… just a prophecy that needed to be fulfilled. Rarity and I had a wonderful talk with Princess Platinum and Clover the Clever. They had something that needed to be said."

"I see."

"Can we speak privately after the ceremony? There's something you need to know. A story that needs to be told."

First Date (ShineDance Romance)

Author's Note

An entry into the April 7, 2018 writeoff, under the prompt "Just Like Old Times."

Original post: https://writeoff.me/fic/3243-First-Date

First Date (ShineDance Romance)

For the hundredth time since this perfect night began, Shining Armor had to resist the urge to pinch himself to make sure that he wasn't dreaming.

"I usually go for Conjuration spells, but I've had fun with Transmutation too." Standing right next to him, close enough that their coats occasionally rubbed together as they walked, was Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, Empress of the Crystal Empire.

It'd taken three tries before Her Most Serene Highness had managed to convince Shining that she'd really asked him out on a date, but she'd eventually gotten him to have dinner with her at his favorite restaurant.

Said dinner had been absolutely wonderful, and he'd quickly found Princess Mi Amore – Cadance – to be a wonderfully charming mare with a kind heart, a sharp wit, and a beauty beyond compare both within and without.

He'd gotten so comfortable around her that he'd accidentally started talking about his latest Oubliettes and Ogres game, which, if his gaming group were to be believed, was a surefire way to ensure that a second date never happened. Instead…

"Did you know that Glibness is a level three spell? I used the plus-thirty bluff bonus to talk an Adult Dragon into giving me his whole hoard once. At level three." Cadance let out a delicate giggle, like the tinkling of wind chimes on a warm summer day.

"You play a lot of O-and-O?"

"Not that much, but I have a... friend who really likes to play, so I try to make time for some games."

They reached the Palace, where Cadance was staying while she was in Canterlot, and Shining knew that even if it was real, this dream was about to end. "I guess this is where I say good night, right?"

"No, this is the part where you give me a good night kiss." Cadance leaned over and captured his lips with her own, her tongue moving with expert precision against his. A hoof trailed up his barrel, stroking lightly at a sensitive spot around his withers that Shining didn't even know he had and making the stallion shiver with delight. "I hope you had fun tonight, Shiny."

Shining nodded until he thought his head might come off. "This d-date was perfect," he said, stumbling a little over the word that he couldn't quite bring himself to accept. "I feel like we've known each other for so long, even though this is only our first time. You certainly seem to know what I like."

"I am the Princess of Love," Cadance said. "Planning a perfect date is just one of the many things I've studied." She leaned in closer to Shining, her next words coming out low and sultry. "Do you want to come in and see what else I've been studying when it comes to love? I'm sure I can sneak you past my aunts."

Shining gulped. Yep, he was definitely the luckiest stallion in the world. Either that, or his sister was using her position as a Princess to help her brother out. He wasn't going to question it, not when he'd just been propositioned by the most beautiful mare in the world. "S-Sure," he replied, and congratulated himself for only stammering a little.

________________________________

Shining Armor woke a few seconds before dawn out of habit. As such, the first thing he saw was the sun rising from a window on the other side of the room.

At the same time, a nondescript rock sitting on Cadance's end table flashed with arcane light, and Shining froze in place, the bed covers still clutched in his hooves. His eyes unfocused as they were surrounded in a powder-blue light before returning to normal.

"Good morning, sleepyhead."

Shining Armor turned to face his wife. "Good morning, honey. Did you sleep well?"

"Mhm." A hoof reached out to stroke him softly on the withers. "Did you have fun on our date last night?"

"Uh huh." Shining leaned over to give her a quick peck on the nose. "Giving you the chance to make me fall in love with you all over again is the best idea you've ever had. I can't wait for next week."

"Me too. Remind me to recalibrate the Memory Stone Version Two to work on me instead of you."

"Of course." As he drew his beloved wife into his embrace, he let out a sigh of pure contentment. "I can't wait you take you on the perfect first date."

RariLight Bomb Day 1: Some are Born to Sweet Delight (RariTwi Romance/SoL)

Author's Note

First published here: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/197869/raritwi-rarilight-twilight-x-rarity/thread/350962/slams-door-down--whos-up-for-story-bits#comment/6426562

This is the first in a series of entries written for the RariLight Bomb Tumblr event, in which the goal was to produce RariLight content every day for five days. I chose to use the five word prompts given to us by Monochromatic.

Word Prompt: Heaven Clown Nuts

RariLight Bomb Day 1: Some are Born to Sweet Delight (RariTwi Romance/SoL)

"Do you ever wonder about Pinkie Pie?"

The look Twilight gave Rarity was flatter than an infinite plane. "I'm afraid you're going to have to be more specific, dear. There's a lot of things that I wonder about Pinkie Pie at any given time."

"Very droll, darling." Rarity rolled her eyes. "I'm talking about the fact that Pinkie is currently wearing one of those ridiculous clown noses and helping the squirrels bury their nuts." She pointed a hoof at the mare in question who had filled her mouth with the spoils of her hunt until they puffed out from the sides. Pinkie looked up from her digging and waved at the couple, who were sitting on a nearby bench.

Twilight waved back. "Oh, that's simple. Pinkie wants to help out her new animal friends prepare for the winter. It's actually quite logical in this case."

"Still, you have to admit it's rather silly for a grown mare to act in such a fashion, no?" Rarity frowned as Pinkie began making squeaking noises at the squirrels, their tails all wagging cheerfully in the air.

"Maybe, but look how happy she is." Twilight smiled as a huge grin split Pinkie's face during her little "conversation" with the squirrels. "I think her outlook on life is one to be cherished. She reminds me of a poem I used to love as a filly.

"'To see a world from the top of your roof, and heaven in a wild flower. Hold infinity in the frog of your hoof, and eternity in an hour.' Pinkie's the type of mare to live her whole life in a moment, and I think we could learn a lot from her."

Rarity nuzzled closer to Twilight, enjoying the softness of her fur pressed against her body. "A beautiful poem," she murmured into Twilight's neck. "I'm certainly enjoying this hour of eternity with you, my love. Perhaps we should follow Pinkie's example and just forget about the world for a little while."

"I think that's a wonderful idea." Twilight leaned her head down and the two of them shared a long kiss as Pinkie watched, a knowing gleam sparkling in her eyes.

RariLight Bomb Day 3: There's No Wrong Way to Fantasize (RariTwi Romance/Adventure)

Author's Note

First published here: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/197869/raritwi-rarilight-twilight-x-rarity/thread/350962/slams-door-down--whos-up-for-story-bits#comment/6428845

This is the third in a series of entries written for the RariLight Bomb Tumblr event, in which the goal was to produce RariLight content every day for five days. I chose to use the five word prompts given to us by Monochromatic.

Word Prompt: Defeat Rope Gondola

RariLight Bomb Day 3: There's No Wrong Way to Fantasize (RariTwi Romance/Adventure)

"It's over, princess! You cannot hope to defeat me!"

"We'll see about that, Lady Rarity." Twilight gritted her teeth as she leapt from the balcony, landing softly on the grassy lawn behind the mansion. "Return the stolen jewels, and we can forget this ever happened."

"I'm afraid I can't do that, darling." From across the lawn, Rarity withdrew a diamond necklace from her cloak, clasping it around her own neck. "They work far too well with my own physique. Do I not look magnificent, princess?"

Twilight had to admit that she had a point. The thin golden chain accentuated the graceful curve of her neck perfectly, and the way her white coat framed the large diamond set in the necklace was nothing short of breathtaking. Still, she couldn't lose sight of her objective. She fired off a stunning spell at the other mare, who dodged it with an unnecessarily flashy pirouette.

"Tsk, tsk, princess. How rude of you to interrupt our lovely chat." Rarity shot her a cute little pout as her own horn began to glow. "Still, I can see when I'm not wanted. Adieu, ma petite chou."

A dazzling array of razor-sharp crystals materialized around her before flying towards Twilight. Twilight barely managed to put up a shield in time, wincing as her magic absorbed each blow.

When the flurry of knives ended, she looked up to see Rarity galloping off towards the river, the soft tinkling of her laughter filling the skies. She gave chase, the cool night air rushing through her mane as she followed the elegant gait of the white mare as she reached the docks.

At the end of the pier she leapt off, and Twilight skidded to a stop before she went over the edge as well. She looked down to see a gondola with her quarry sitting inside, already pushing out towards the open waters. Twilight braced herself as she she flew through the air and landed with a thud onto the wooden vessel.

As soon as she landed, she felt something on the floor wrap around her limbs, locking her in place as an inhibitor ring suddenly floated onto her horn. She snarled and thrashed against her bonds on rope as Rarity stood smugly above her, a radiant smirk gracing her features.

"I did warn you not to challenge me, princess," she said as her hoof reached up to lift Twilight's chin, forcing her to stare into Rarity's brilliant blue eyes. "Now, what shall I do with this delectable morsel that I've captured for myself?"

Her hoof slid down Twilight barrel as the alicorn glared at her captor, heat rising up in her cheeks at the intimate caress. "You won't get away with this!" she shouted even as she shivered at Rarity's touch.

"Ah, but I already have." The hoof slid back up to Twilight's face. "Now then, why don't we start with a kiss? I've wanted to taste those delicious lips of yours since you first found me out."

Twilight struggled against her bonds as Rarity leaned her head forward, their muzzles only inches apart as she fought to escape her captor. Rarity's magic held her head still as her lips finally descended on her, their lips pressing together in blissful contact. Twilight felt Rarity's tongue tease her lips open, and she prepared herself to yield to the dominant mare…

"Twilight, I've got some forms I need you to sign for — oh!"

The world around Twilight and Rarity shattered as the boat floating on the waters of the sea by moonlight was replaced by the familiar throne room of Twilight's castle, the illusions spell having been canceled by the entrance of the intruder.

"Starlight!" Twilight shouted as she quickly jumped to her hooves, her cheeks burning as Rarity continued to hold onto her. "What did I tell you about knocking?"

"Sorry, sorry!" Starlight very deliberately looked away from the couple, her eyes alternating between staring at the ground and studying the ceiling. "It's just, we need you to sign off on the expenses for the school trip to Rainbow Falls and I thought it was just you in here and — I'll just come back later, okay?"

With that, Starlight backed out of the room and hastily shut the door, leaving Rarity and Twilight alone with each other once again. "So," Rarity said, rubbing slow circles around Twilight's flank with her hoof, "where were we before we were so rudely interrupted?"

"I believe you were about to ravish your new prisoner, Lady Rarity," Twilight replied, the huskiness of her voice surprising herself.

"Ah, yes. Would you care to restore our little session, dear?"

"Of course." Twilight's horn glowed, and the world faded away once again as two lovers continued their exploration of their mutual love.

RariLight Bomb Day 4: Songs That Voices Never Share (RariTwi... something)

Author's Note

First published here: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/197869/raritwi-rarilight-twilight-x-rarity/thread/350962/slams-door-down--whos-up-for-story-bits#comment/6429792

This is the fourth in a series of entries written for the RariLight Bomb Tumblr event, in which the goal was to produce RariLight content every day for five days. I chose to use the five word prompts given to us by Monochromatic.

Word Prompt: Belief Bridge Water

RariLight Bomb Day 4: Songs That Voices Never Share (RariTwi... something)

Twilight was cooking dinner and Rarity was sitting on a sofa on a Sunday afternoon.

"Twilight, are you going to the Ponyville Fair tomorrow?"

"No." Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme. Twilight laid out the ingredients in front of her in a neat little row.

"That's a shame." Twilight glanced over to see Rarity working on her latest commission. Her client had requested that she make her a cambric shirt, deep forest green in color, with no seams or needlework (as was normal for the current "child of the mountain" fad). Rarity was concentrating hard on weaving with only her magic, but still managed to speak to Twilight. "I was so looking forward to getting away from it all for a few hours. Searching for a new shop location has been positively exhausting. I told Sassy to find me an acre of land, and the only place she could get was right between the salt water and the sea strand."

"Mhm." Twilight concentrated on preparing her salad. She mixed the herbs together with some vinegar and oil as she readied herself to gather it all in a bunch of heather.

She didn't even notice Rarity moving towards her until her hoof rested on her shoulder. "Are you quite alright, darling? You've been oddly silent all day."

"I'm fine." A sprinkling of leaves to top off the dish.

"Please, Twilight, talk to me." Twilight stared straight ahead as Rarity spoke. "Don't you know? Silence, like a cancer, grows." A hoof forced Twilight's head to turn, and she stared into Rarity's worried gaze.

She gave a small sigh, hating herself for making her marefriend feel bad. "It's dumb," she mumbled, turning away from Rarity. "Just a bad dream. A vision softly creeping, that left its seeds while I was sleeping. And the vision that was planted in my brain still remains."

The next words came unbidden, the words just spilling out of her. "In restless dreams I walked alone, on narrow streets of cobblestone. And I saw ten thousand ponies, maybe more. Ponies talking without speaking. Ponies hearing without listening.

"And I tried to call out to them. 'Hear my words that I might teach you!' I said. 'Take my arms that I might reach you!' But my words, like silent raindrops fell, and echoed in the wells of s-silence." Her breath hitched a little at the end, and she took a moment to compose herself. "Sometimes it feels like it doesn't matter how hard I try to be the Princess of Friendship, I'm never going to be able to make a real difference. I can't not try, but every way I look at it I lose. And our nation turns its lonely eyes on me and I feel like I'm talking to the darkness, my old friend."

"I'm glad you told me, dear." A soft kiss on her cheek. "Just remember that friends can always be found. When you're weary, feeling small." A handkerchief appeared in front of Twilight and dabbed at her eyes. "When tears are in your eyes, I'll dry them all. I'm on your side when times get rough. I'll take your part when darkness comes. And pain is all around. Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down."

This time, when Twilight turned towards Rarity, she was met by a passionate kiss. "Sail on silver girl," her marefriend whispered hotly as she pulled away. "Sail on by. Your time has come to shine. All your dreams are on their way." Her horn lit up as a dazzling array of illusion spells showed Twilight an image of ponies cheering and waving at her. "See how they shine. Oh, if you need a friend, I'm sailing right behind. Like a bridge over troubled water, I will ease your mind."

"Thank you," Twilight whispered back, and in that moment, she knew that Rarity would be a true love of hers.

RariLight Bomb Day 5: Third Law (RariTwi EqG/Future AU/Shipping)

Author's Note

First published here: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/197869/raritwi-rarilight-twilight-x-rarity/thread/350962/slams-door-down--whos-up-for-story-bits#comment/6430871

This is the fifth and final ficlet in a series of entries written for the RariLight Bomb Tumblr event, in which the goal was to produce RariLight content every day for five days. I chose to use the five word prompts given to us by Monochromatic.

Word Prompt: Dance Shoes Sky

RariLight Bomb Day 5: Third Law (RariTwi EqG/Future AU/Shipping)

Professor Twilight Sparkle rested her hands on one of the rails surrounding the terrace as she looked up at the skies, where a squad of drones was pushing away a few stray clouds that had floated into the city limits.

Looking downwards, her eyes were met by a grid of holographic billboards, each one holding vigil above an intersection. The constructs of light proclaimed their wares for all to see, completely drowning out the brightness of the stars above.

From the glittering tableau, she could pick out a few advertisements for Carousel, and the sight of them brought back the suffocating weight on her heart that she'd left the party to escape.

The thudding of shoes against the authentic wooden path — the venue prided itself on not using any of the lab-grown stuff — signalled the arrival of a visitor into Twilight's temporary sanctum.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Well, speak of the devil. Twilight turned to see Rarity striding towards her in her usual elegant walk. "I know it's far less than your normal rate, but I thought as an old friend I could negotiate a discount from you."

"Just enjoying the view," Twilight replied, careful to keep her tone casual. "You know how much I've always enjoyed looking at the night sky."

"Hmm. I suppose I do." Rarity moved to stand beside her, and Twilight stiffened as she felt Rarity's dress brush against her own clothes. "It is a beautiful night, though it could do without those tacky drones flitting about."

As the metal swarm corralled yet another wayward intruder, Twilight shifted away from Rarity before speaking. "Have you read the précis on the new VaporShield tech that Equinox Labs is developing? It's still young, but it looks pretty promising, and if it actually works, then we won't need the weather drones anymore. I can send you the document right now if you want."

"Perhaps another time." Rarity tapped at the side of her head. "I've turned off the neural link to my phone so that I won't be disturbed tonight. Still, I look forward to no longer having to see those things in the air—" suddenly, she stopped talking, both her hands grabbing the railing as she staggered.

Twilight instinctively reached out and caught her, bringing them much closer together than she wanted. "Rarity!"

"I-I'm quite alright, dear." Rarity said, her voice slowly regaining her strength as she pushed herself upright. She left out a soft chuckle. "I should have known better than to drink right after teleporting here."

Twilight frowned. "Yeah, there's a reason they put those huge warning labels on the side," she said disapprovingly. "Alcohol interferes with the mind's coherence after the reconstruction. I'll send for a medical pod."

Rarity shook her head. "Don't trouble yourself, Twilight. I'll be right as rain in a few moments." Indeed, her voice was already growing stronger, and Twilight reluctantly held off on the signal. "I don't suppose anyone at the Institute has discovered how to fix this little problem."

"Nope, we've got more important problems to solve at the moment."

"It's remarkable, truly." Rarity's smile lit up the night brighter than any of the billboards below. "I'm complaining about the inconvenience of having to remain sober after traveling from one side of the country to another in the blink of an eye."

There was a pause as Rarity gestured to the world at large. "Have you ever stopped to consider just how much our world has changed since our high school days?"

"It's crossed my mind from time to time, yes," Twilight replied. "Admittedly, this is the type of event that tends to inspire these kinds of musings."

"Too true. I daresay we have one of the most interesting High School Reunions in history, simply by virtue of having you and Sunset present."

"You're no slouch yourself, Miss Carousel," Twilight teased. "In twenty years, you've managed to become the biggest name in the fashion industry. Not exactly something that happens every day."

"It's been an enjoyable two decades, to be sure." Something stirred in Rarity's expression as she glanced at Twilight. "Still, I've been thinking a lot about the past, lately."

"Oh?" For some reason, Twilight felt the urge to move away from Rarity, something primal within warning her that something was about to happen. Still, she stayed, curious as to where she was going with this. "What about the past?"

"Just wondering what might have been if I'd had said yes all those years ago when you asked me to the prom instead of going with Blueblood."

Twilight froze, suddenly very aware of Rarity's proximity to her. "It wouldn't have worked out," she said, her mind throwing out the same justifications she'd used to cover up the pain of rejection. "Long distance relationships don't work out most of the time, and we were both way too focused on our careers to maintain a romance."

"I suppose you're right. And I can't say I regret my career choices most days. Still, it does get lonely at times."

Twilight barely dared to breathe. "I know how you feel," she finally said. "'Discovering' a new source of energy and helping to start the next technological revolution doesn't leave for much in the way of personal time. But it's not like I could've turned away from the chance to change the world." It was the same thing she'd told herself time and time again, and even if she believed it, sometimes it rang hollow.

"Still, none of us are the teenagers that we used to be, even if Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash are taking full advantage of Sunset's new hangover cure to drink themselves into comas," Rarity said. "I daresay we've earned the right to a little time of our own."

Time stood still as hope swelled in Twilight's heart. "Well, I guess arcane energy research has taken off to the point where I don't really have that much of an impact anywhere. And Sunset's the one who's actually getting these new technologies out to market."

"In that case, perhaps it's my time to ask you on a date. If my timing is right, they should be starting the couple's dance any moment now. Would you like to join me?"

Twilight barely managed to keep herself from bursting with pure joy. "To be honest, I'm not really sure I want to go back inside yet." Her hand lit up with the arcane glow of magic as she temporarily created a hole in the soundproofing charm that the reunion party was using. The soft sounds of an old romantic ballad floated out into the night.

Rarity smiled and held out a hand to Twilight. "May I have this next dance, Miss Sparkle?"

Twilight gave Rarity a small bow and took her hand. "You may, Miss Rarity." And so, beneath the natural light of the Moon, out in the open, unfiltered air, two lovers began a dance that was twenty years overdue as the magic of a better future sparkled around them.

RariTwi Event 2: Look Down, Look Down, Upon Your Fellow Mare (RariTwi sorta Musical)

Author's Note

This is the second ficlet written for the RariTwi Event hosted by Monochromatic. It has been decided that rather than posting all the entries on a common account, each entry should be posted by their respective authors.

Prompt: "Darling, I do so hate to ask, but shouldn't [we/I/you] go to jail for this?"

(Note: the first RariTwi Event ficlet can be found here.)

RariTwi Event 2: Look Down, Look Down, Upon Your Fellow Mare (RariTwi sorta Musical)

"Darling, I do so hate to ask, but shouldn't you go to jail for this?"

Twilight looked up at Rarity from the mountain of paperwork spread out across the Cutie Map. "Yes, obviously," she said, her horn glowing as she filled out another form while speaking, "Allocating state funds that far exceed my personal allowance in order to purchase a plethora of pastries from my friends for my own consumption? That's several counts of corruption right there."

"I see." A pause. "And might I ask as to why you are engaging in such a flagrant violation of the laws you swore to uphold? I do believe we are supposed to be on the side of Good, after all."

"Because it's no worse than what most of the Canterlot Elite have done before," Twilight said with a shrug. Her tone was casual, but Rarity could sense the edge beneath it. "Are you aware of what the criminal conviction rate in Upper Canterlot was last year?"

"Rather low, I would assume," Rarity replied.

"One," Twilight hissed. "There was only one conviction among the residents of Upper Canterlot last year, and it only happened because Tulip Sea ripped off the wrong ponies. The nobility are, for all intents and purposes, above the law."

"I'm well aware of the injustices in this world perpetrated by those with the power to help others," Rarity pointed out, "but I fail to see how this justifies you doing the same."

"Well, I think it's about high time we stood up against this sort of thing." Twilight slammed another stack of papers onto the Map. "Even though I'm a Princess, there's not much I can do to stop the rampant corruption in this nation, so I'm hoping to get the regular ponies of Equestria to help. When nothing happens to me despite my blatant abuse of the system, they should see that it's finally time to rise up and bring justice to all. Also, Pinkie really wanted to throw a 'reformation party' so this is a way to fund that too."

"That seems… rather fraught with risk," Rarity said delicately.

"It'll be fine. I've read a number of works on social engineering." Twilight gestured to a pile of books in one corner of the room. "At worst, current societal pressures towards maintaining the status quo will result in no action being taken, and I'll make sure to give away all the food I'm having ordered to those in need. Let them eat cake for a bit — I'm sure they'll be happy about it."

"If you say so," Rarity said. "I trust you."

Twilight smiled. "Thanks."

From the balcony of the Friendship Castle overlooking the town of Ponyville, Rarity turned away from the crowd gathering below to glare at her friend.

"Twilight Sparkle, I'm afraid my trust in you was sorely misplaced."

Twilight waved off Rarity's concern. "I'm sure it's going to be fine. Stirring up public opposition was the goal, after all."

"So the large mob forming outside your Castle was part of the plan, then?"

Twilight nodded. "I've galvanized the ponies into action. Their dissatisfaction with the current system is going to force change."

The general rumblings of the crowd suddenly shifted towards something more assonant. Twilight smiled. "Do you hear the ponies sing? Singing the songs of angry mares?"

Indeed, a loud chorus had formed, their words spreading out across the land.

"When our ranks begin to form, will you take your place with us? Here upon these stones we will build our barricade!"

Loud crashes and thuds followed quickly behind the singing, prompting Rarity to glance downwards at the ponies below her once again. "Oh my," she said, grimacing. "How gauche. My talent may be in fashion and not in interior design, but that ebony armoire clearly does not match the mahogany table next to it. This barricade they're building is an absolute disgrace to good taste."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Change isn't pretty." She stepped up beside Rarity to observe the crowd.

An orange filly climbed on top of the newly-erected barricade. "Will you join in our crusade?" Scootaloo cried out. "Who will be strong and stand with me? Somewhere beyond this barricade is there a world you long to see?"

"Her singing has vastly improved," Rarity noted. "Sweetie must be rubbing off on her."

Next to her, Pinkie held up a megaphone and sang to the crowd. "The color of the world Is changing day by day. Red - the blood of angry mares! Black - the dark of ages past! Red - a world about to dawn! Black - the night that ends at last!"

Twilight winced. "Luna isn't going to like that at all."

"I hate to alarm you, but it seems somepony is distributing torches and pitchforks to the masses."

The now illuminated crowd continued to grow behind the cover of the barricade. "With all the anger in the land, how long before the judgement day? Before we cut the fat ones down to size?"

Twilight's eyes widened as the crowd cheered at that prospect. "Okay, maybe it's getting a teensy but out of hoof," she said nervously. "But I'm sure Pinkie will keep this under control!"

"Will you give all you can give so that our banner may advance? Some will fall and some will live; will you stand up and take a chance?" Pinkie turned to shout at the mare next to her. "Berry, put the bottle down!"

Berry Punch let out a resounding belch. "Give me brandy on my breath and I'll breath 'em all to death!"

Pinkie shrugged. "We must be ready for the fight. To arms!" Holding up a rolling pin, she charged forwards, the rest of the crowd ignoring the barricade and following her.

"I would think by now that you'd know asking Pinkie to keep anything under control is… unwise," Rarity said as she watched the ponies surge towards the castle.

"This is bad," Twilight said, beginning to pace nervously back and forth. "I haven't read up on how to diffuse a violent rebellion!"

"Death to each and every traitor!"

To Rarity's surprise, the cry came not from the crowd on the ground but the skies. Looking up, she saw a squad of pegasi clad in the Wonderbolts' signature uniforms. And at their head, a familiar blue pegasus.

"Let's nip this in the bud!" Rainbow Dash called out to her squad. "We're ready for these ponies. They will wet themselves with blood!"

"Oh no," Twilight said as she watched the scene unfolding before her in horror.

On the ground, Pinkie glared up her at her friend. "The blood of the martyrs will water the meadows of Ponyville! Let's give 'em a bucking that they'll never forget!"

As the two masses of ponies met with the force of two tidal waves, Twilight abruptly charged her horn. "Gotta go!" she shouted to Rarity. "I need to stop my friends from killing each other!"

As she disappeared with a "pop," Rarity sighed and walked back towards the castle interior. Unlike a certain alicorn princess, she didn't have access to teleportation magic, and would have to walk down the stairs to meet up with her friends.

"And now I'm all alone again," she mused as she walked. "I wonder what future they'll bring when tomorrow comes? After all, never know your luck when there's a free for all."

RariTwi Event 3: The Castle of Friendship (RariTwi SoL)

Author's Note

This is the third ficlet written for the RariTwi Event hosted by Monochromatic.

Prompt: Write a story without any adjectives or adverbs.

RariTwi Event 3: The Castle of Friendship (RariTwi SoL)

Night falls.

In the kitchen, pots, pans, ladles, and more lay in a pile by the sink, a mountain of paraphernalia that helped to prepare supper, and that none have washed, in violation of routine. The centre of the room holds a table for dining that can fit two. Darkness shrouds the dishes left on it.

A plate of salad rests on the table; its contents have not been touched. A bowl of soup, as well, chills in the night, before anypony has taken a sip from it. Somepony has finished the soup in the bowl that opposes it, and has drawn lines in the remnants, swirls of liquid glinting in the moonlight.

A chair lays on its side. A mare has bucked it in a rage, and hoof-marks mar its surface. If one squinted, one could see the stains on the ground, left by a mare who had been crying as she stalked out of the room and into the library.

Tears stain the trail that leads to the studio, as well, left by a mare after she finished her dinner.

In the library, a stack of books teeters on the edge of collapse. On the desk, there is a quill which has snapped and drips ink onto a page, like blood pooling upon flesh. None can read the notes on the page, scribbles that reveal the mind of one who cannot overcome their anger.

Here and there, somepony has thrown books against the walls. They have collapsed onto the ground, their covers proclaiming their contents. How to Solve Problems in Your Relationship. Communication for Dummies. Love Hurts: Dealing With Conflict in Romance. On and on it goes, but none help the mare who seeks resolution from her studies.

The light from the lamps illuminates the room. The librarian forgot to douse them before she left. A sign of a mind that has succumbed to fatigue. The door to the hallway (and the bedroom) leaks out the brightness into the dimness of the castle's interior.

In the studio, darkness reigns. In the shadows, spools of thread rest in a line on the workbench. The seamstress has sorted them by color. The rest of the room is beyond reproach. Everything is in its place, organization ruling this place of creativity. Scraps of fabric rest in a bin with markings that describe its contents. Bolts of silk lie against the wall, their order ordained by logic. The tools of the trade have not traded places, as they do with regularity.

No dress adorns the mannequins. The sketchbook has not seen hide nor hair of a pencil this night. The rows of material offer no inspiration to those who behold them. Neither needle nor thread has moved since the sun began to set. Silence reigns, and has reigned from afternoon to night.

The door at the entrance blocks the glow of the hallway from entering. None shall disturb the contents of the room on this night.

In the bedroom, a mare rests on a bed. In her forelegs, she hugs her lover, as if to prevent her from running. Their expressions exude peace, and contentment, and love, for they know that conflict cannot hope to overcome their love. That as night falls, they will come to this place to hold counsel, and with words and patience they will find a resolution to their troubles. For their strength comes not from intellect or creativity, but from love and friendship.

As the stars twinkle in the sky, a blanket wraps around the lovers, a cocoon to shield them from the night's chill and bring them into Luna's domain until tomorrow comes to greet them.

A Normal Mare (RariTwi Romance/SoL)

Author's Note

Second-Place Finisher in the Fourth Panic Fiction Speedwriting Contest, under the prompt "What's That Smell?"

A Normal Mare (RariTwi Romance/SoL)

"Darling, what is that smell?"

Twilight Sparkle looked up at Rarity with a manic gleam in her eyes as she entered her tree library. "It's nothing, Rarity!" Celestia's prized student said to her. "Can you come back in..." She glanced at the book floating in front of her, and then at the clock on the wall. "One hundred and twenty-two minutes?"

It was slightly concerning how easy it was for Rarity to suppress her sigh and speak calmly to the unicorn. "Twilight, it smells like you boiled the Everfree and then set it on fire in the kitchen." She plugged her nose with her hoof, but even that didn't help against whatever monstrosity Twilight was preparing. "Please let me help you cook, dear."

"No!" Twilight's eyes were very worryingly wide, and she slammed the door behind her that led to the kitchen closed with her magic. "I've got this covered!"

"Twilight, darling, dearest, sweetheart," Rarity replied. "You most certainly do not. We both know that there's a very good reason why Spike does all the cooking for the two of you, and it isn't just because you've far too many things on your plate already. Figuratively, of course."

"It's fine!" Twilight replied, a flash of annoyance colouring her tone. "Cooking is just following a set of instructions in a book. It's not that different from following an experimental procedure, and I'm very good at that sort of thing, in case you didn't know. I'm sure the eggplant will be fine once it comes out of the oven." As if on cue, smoke began to filter out from the corners of the doorframe.

"It certainly is not fine." Rarity was beginning to get frustrated too. She took a deep breath, forcing herself to calm down and think about things from Twilight's point of view. Her marefriend was, despite her occasional "episodes," a reasonable and self-aware mare, and it wasn't like her to behave this way. Taking a cue from Fluttershy, she tried to adopt a compassionate tone as she spoke. "Is something wrong, dear? I've never known you to be this passionate about cooking before."

"I—" Twilight paused, her mania seeming to drain out of her as she deflated. "I just wanted to cook you a nice dinner for our date."

"And I appreciate the attempt," Rarity replied politely. "It's the thought that counts, after all."

Twilight snorted. "That's a nice way of saying that I screwed up. If I was really thinking, I wouldn't have even tried to do this in the first place."

"Why did you want to cook a meal for us so badly?" Rarity asked.

"Because it's what couples do," Twilight replied. "All the literature I've read on the subject suggest that cooking dinner and having a nice night in is a standard date archetype."

"It is," Rarity allowed. "But that doesn't mean we have to do it. As long as I'm able to enjoy your delightful company, I'm already the happiest mare in the world."

"Are you?"

Rarity's head tilted in confusion. "Whatever do you mean, dear?"

"You're a consummate romantic," Twilight explained. "I know you've always wanted to be romanced, always wanted to have a pony sweep you off your hooves and do all the things in your novels with you. I—" She hung her head low in shame, and the sight burned Rarity's heart. "I'm not a normal mare. We both know that.

"I make pedantic comments during movies, either critiquing their portrayal of magic or commenting on the cinematography. I can't dance, and I don't like going to bars to drink, and my idea of a good time is spending an evening curled up with a good book in a library." Twilight peeked upwards at Rarity with sad eyes. "I just wanted to give you a normal romantic date for once, instead of just lecturing you about magical chromatography for an hour while you pretend to look interested." She bowed her head down again, which was unacceptable to Rarity.

Rarity walked up to Twilight and lifted her chin with a hoof. She stared Twilight in the eyes and allowed her determination and anger to shine through. "Twilight Sparkle," she declared, her tone brooking no interruption. "I will not allow you to talk about yourself this way. You are an incredible mare, more funny and witty and smart and gallant than anypony else in Equestria, and I am honoured to be your marefriend.

"I am a lady of refined taste and high standards, and I would not be dating you if I didn't think you were worth my time and affections. I have turned down princes before, and I don't need a 'normal' date in order to fall in love with you."

"You shouldn't have to give those moments up, though."

Twilight's uncertainty and self-loathing galled Rarity, and she took out her anger by pulling the unicorn mage into a passionate kiss, trying to burn out her fears with her passion. "I didn't give up anything, Twilight Sparkle. I've just upgraded my expectations. You've shown me so many more wonders than I could have imagined, and I don't even care about those mundane things anymore."

"Do you really mean it?" Twilight asked breathlessly, hope shining in her eyes.

"Would I lie to you, darling?"

"I guess not." Twilight smiled. "Thanks, I needed to hear that."

"Anytime, dear." Rarity hugged Twilight again, just because she could. "Now, should we air up your home and get something to eat outside?"

Twilight laughed sheepishly. "Sure."

The Final Sacrifice (RariTwi Romance/Drama/Tragedy)

"Rarity, please, we can talk about this," Twilight pleaded, staring helplessly at her wife standing at the end of the tunnel. "Just put down the torch before you do something that we won't be able to fix."

"I can't, Twilight," Rarity whispered, turning her head away in shame. "I'm sorry, but this has to be done."

"You're talking about committing high treason, Rarity. I can't pardon you for this." She might have been the primary ruler of Equestria, but Twilight had never felt more helpless than she did right now as she watched Rarity float the torch over towards the barrels of gunpowder that had been smuggled into this tunnel.

"I know. I won't ask for your forgiveness, dear. Only your understanding." Rarity smiled, and there were tears in her eyes. "I'm so sorry it had to come to this."

"Why, Rarity?" Twilight shouted as the flames from the torch licked at the wicks lying on the ground. "I thought you agreed with me on this. I thought you swore to stand by my side, until death do we part!" Anger burned her. "You promised you would always love me!"

"And I always will," Rarity replied. "You have no idea how much anguish this betrayal is causing me, but you know who I am. What I stand for." She laughed, and there was no humour in that sound. "I always knew I would have to make sacrifices for the greater good. That's what it means to be the Element of Generosity, no? And a national hero, to boot. But then...

"But then, I married you, and I became a princess too, and do you remember what happened that day?" Rarity didn't wait for a response before continuing. "I swore, before all fo Equestria, to always put our nation and our ponies first, and that, if push came to shove, I would make undaunted the final sacrifice without hesitation."

The flames began to travel up their individual paths up the fuses to ruination. "How is this serving Equestria?" Twilight demanded, even though she knew they'd had this argument so many times before. "How many lives are you going to doom today? How many ponies are going to die when you blow up the Foresight Engine?"

"Fewer ponies than would be hurt by you spying on all of Equestria, I should think," Rarity replied flippantly, and how that tone galled Twilight.

"The Engine will make sure that no one ever hurts another pony or tries to take over Equestria ever again without us knowing about it." Sizzle, sizzle, sizzle. It was almost too late now for Rarity to put out the fires. The point of no return was too close.

"Twilight, dearest, darling, sweetheart." The doomsday clock ticked down as Rarity shook her head. "We've sung this song and danced this dance so many times already. I rather think it's pointless now. I'm fortunate enough that the ponies who approached me with this plot thought to give me a teleportation gem to get out of here once the explosions begin, but I'd suggest you run before Equestria is left without its greatest princess and the love of my life. The wards here are very good at stopping any sort of magical interference."

"Don't you dare say that you love me," Twilight hissed. "Not when you've just ensured that I'll never be able to see you again without a set of bars separating us." It was truly too late now. She could see the flames lapping at the tops of the barrels.

"I told you I would make any sacrifice I needed to serve Equestria," Rarity replied, and the resolve in her eyes was unlike anything Twilight had seen since she had said "I do" at the altar so many years ago. "Honestly, I can't think of anything more precious I could possibly give up than us. I'm sorry, Twilight, and I love you. Always and forever. Please remember that." She vanished in a bolt of teleportation, leaving Twilight alone with the fire and gunpowder.

Twilight turned and ran away as flames consumed her heart and burned her futures to ashes.

Author's Note

An Entry in the "Remember! Remember!" Panic Fiction Speedwriting Contest, under the prompt "Gunpowder, treason, and/or plot."

Forks (RariTwi SoL)

Author's Note

First-place winner of the Panic Speedwriting Contest #17, with the prompt "food."

Forks (RariTwi SoL)

"No, not that one. That's the salad fork, dear."

Twilight winced as Rarity batted her hoof away from the offending silverware. "But it's the same as the other fork," she pointed out, gesturing to the identical object next to it.

"Yes, but this one is on the outside, so it's the salad fork," Rarity replied.

"Oh, I see," Twilight mused. "So positional context matters in addition to shape."

"Exactly." Rarity nodded approvingly. "We'll make a proper Canterlot socialite out of you yet."

"Thanks for taking the time out to teach me all this." Twilight fluttered her wings awkwardly, still getting used to the sensation of having extra limbs. "I really do appreciate it."

"It's no trouble at all." On the other side of the table, Rarity picked up the correct fork for her meal and began delicately picking up the curried beets on her own plate. "Remember to take small pieces, so that you don't make a mess."

Twilight did her best to moderate the amount of food she was picking up each time. "I'm just glad that no one's around to see this besides you. I swear, the nobility are all so— ugh, sometimes I still don't get why you wanted to blend in with them so much. I mean, I get that it's good business, but some of those ponies..."

"They're not all bad." Another small bite. How the nobles ever managed to fill their bellies when they ate so little would continue to puzzle Twilight. "Some of them have a good heart underneath all the glitz and glamour. It's just a matter of finding the right ones to ally yourself with."

"I guess. I know you said Fancy Pants and Fleur de Lis are nice ponies, but I don't know how to go about finding more." Twilight sighed, her shoulders slumping down as she rested her forelegs on the table. "Sometimes I wonder if Celestia didn't make a mistake crowning me as a Princess. I don't know how to do politics or play games with the nobility or any of that stuff. If anything, you should've been made a princess!"

Rarity snorted. "As much as that would have made me deliriously happy, I'm afraid you're the most qualified of all of us. Also, don't rest your hooves or forelegs on the table. That's poor form, darling."

"How am I the most qualified to be a princess?" Though she raised her forelegs off the table, Twilight proceeded to make another faux-pas by waving them around in an exasperated gesture.

"Hooves down, Twilight." The words came out almost on instinct now. "And if you think about it, you'll see that I'm right. Consider the others in our little group of friends. As much as I love them, I doubt that Fluttershy would take to princesshood well. Nor would Applejack or Rainbow Dash. Pinkie Pie might, but I'm not entirely certain that Equestria would survive a Princess of Parties."

"Fair enough," Twilight conceded. She took another bite from her beets. "But what about you? You know how to talk to ponies, you understand who can be trusted and who can't, and how to get the right people to do the right things. The fact that you've managed to make all these connections even though you're from Ponyville should be enough to justify you getting some kind of noble title, to say nothing of the fact that you're the Bearer of Generosity."

"And that's exactly why Celestia didn't want me to be Equestria's newest princess." The way Rarity said it, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, gave Twilight pause.

"Huh?"

"Don't talk with your mouth full.," Rarity admonished as she swirled the wine in her glass before taking a delicate sip. "Also, if you're speaking to nobility, you should avoid such vulgar language. A simple 'pardon?' or 'I'm sorry?' would be much better."

"Pardon?"

"Much better." Rarity frowned. "Didn't Celestia teach you any of this when you were her student?"

"Not really, no," Twilight replied. "She just let me hide in the library or lab whenever we had guests over."

"I see." Another sip of wine. "Well, that only furthers my point, really."

"What point?"

"I could have been a princess," Rarity explained. "I think I would have been quite decent at it, if I do say so myself. But I would've been exactly what everypony expected a princess to be. Elegant, refined, politically savvy, and manipulative."

"You're not—" Twilight's words were cut off by Rarity, which she thought was pretty rude, but she wasn't the one giving the etiquette lesson.

"I am, dear, though I appreciate your attempts to defend me from myself. Regardless, it's true that I know how to play the game, but that's not what Celestia wants from her newest princess, I should think. At least, given that she chose you over me."

"Then what does she want?" Twilight asked.

"She wants to change the game," Rarity replied simply. "She doesn't want a princess who excels at playing politics, because that will only breed a more cunning brand of nobles. She's made a choice to put a mare in charge who is intelligent and witty and virtuous, who is willing to do what is right over what is proper. A mare who, when presented with a fork in the road, will choose the road less travelled, and one that may take Equestria to new heights."

"I see," Twilight said, touched by Rarity's words. She was always stunned by the insights that the other mare managed to possess, and this was no exception. "So why do I have to learn all this stuff if I'm supposed to break the mould?"

"Well, it's still a good idea to be able to hold a basic conversation with the Canterlot Elite without causing a scandal," Rarity replied. "Which is why I'm going to teach you just enough not to make a complete fool of yourself in front of the cameras, but anything beyond that will have to be your own choice."

Twilight frowned. "That's a lot of trust ponies are putting on me," she muttered.

"Some ponies are born to shoulder great responsibilities," Rarity replied as she finished off the last of the food on her plate.

"I guess." Twilight picked up her own glass of wine and took a sip. "Thanks, Rarity. For everything."

"No, thank you, Twilight, for being the mare you are," Rarity replied. "I look forward to seeing what you'll achieve with us by your side. Also, that's the wrong hoof for holding your wine glass."

"Oh, right. Sorry!"

Revelation (Twilight/Discord SoL)

Author's Note

First-place winner of the Panic Speedwriting Contest #19, with the prompt "someone to love."

Revelation (Twilight/Discord SoL)

"She worried about this, you know," Discord said as he took another drag from his wine glass, inhaling the red wine inside and blowing out a fine red mist shaped into puffy rings. "About what would happen after, well, you know."

"She cared about you a lot," Twilight agreed, perched on a normal wooden chair inside of her own little bubble of order. She never had managed to get used to Discord's realm the way Fluttershy had.

"Fluttershy cared about everycreature, big or small," Discord replied, and this time he picked up his cigar and took a sip from its contents. "She had such a big heart, and I never really understood it. I think that's what drew me to her too. You ponies are all so predictable, you know?"

"I'd take offence to that, but I do pride myself on being punctual and consistent." A cucumber sandwich floated its way towards Twilight, losing its legs and arms and becoming a normal piece of food as it passed through her bubble. Twilight took a bite from it as she waited for Discord to speak.

"Her kindness was endlessly mysterious and interesting." Another sandwich floated towards Discord. He held out a paw and waited for the cucumber inside to reach out and hand him a chocolate truffle, which he popped into his mouth. "And so chaotically fascinating. Is it any wonder I fell for her? She didn't make any sense, being kind to everyone no matter what!"

"I hate to agree with you, but yeah. I think the world would be a better place if we could all think like she did."

"Oh, definitely." Discord waved a claw dismissively. "But anyways, like I was saying, she worried so much about what would happen after she was gone. Even though she always accepted me, she understood that chaos was unpredictable, and it scared her how I might have responded when I didn't have someone to love to anchor me to the Light Side."

Twilight chose not to comment on the brown robes Discord suddenly sported. "I feel bad coming to you in a time like this, but..."

"Oh, Twi-Twi, if there's one creature you don't have to worry about being tactful with, it's me. I'm a big boy." A pair of devil horns sprouted on Discord's head. "I know you're here to make sure I don't go heel again."

"I'm worried about you too," Twilight protested. "As a friend."

Discord snorted. "We don't have to play nice anymore, Sparkle. Flutterbutter isn't going to get mad at us."

"I'm serious," Twilight replied softly. "This isn't just me trying to make sure you don't backslide with her gone. I— Ruling Equestria for several decades tends to give you a bit of perspective. Even if we'll never be completely comfortable with each other, I think you could be... entertaining." To anyone else, that would've been condescending, but Twilight knew that Discord would appreciate it as a compliment.

"You flatter me." Was that a real blush on Discord's cheek, or was he just playing? "Well, if you want to stop by whenever, my dimensional portal is always open. But don't feel like you have to check up on my moral compass. You see, Fluttershy taught me a lot of things, but there's one lesson I'm not going to forget anytime soon."

"And that is?" Twilight asked when she realized that Discord's dramatic pause was waiting for her to play along.

"Evil is boring." The word was spat out with such venom that it dissolved part of the floor. "It's boring and predictable and suffering never changes. Destruction is the most inevitable and inexorable force in the universe, which makes it a terrible spectacle when you really think about it."

From the melted remains of the floorboards, a beautiful bushel of posies sprung forth. "It's doing good that causes the most chaos. It's why the hero is always the most unpredictable character in a story, why she always manages to pull a wild card out in the end. Creation comes with so many more possibilities than destruction.

"And that, my dear Twilight, is why you don't have to worry about me," Discord finished with a bow, plucking the flower and handing it over to her.

Twilight dissolved the bubble and took the flower in her teeth. It tasted like butter, but she ate it anyways. "I'm glad you came to that conclusion, Discord," she said.

"I am too." Discord smiled. "And they say love changes a draconequus. Well, I showed them! I'm still as chaotic as ever."

Twilight smiled and nodded. Fluttershy's love hadn't stopped his chaos like she'd hoped it would, but all things considered, things had worked out in the end.

Nemo Nos Impune Lacessit (Rarity/Cadance Dark)

Author's Note

Written for the Panic Fiction 19 contest with the prompt "Years of Wine."

Nemo Nos Impune Lacessit (Rarity/Cadance Dark)

"Rarity! I'm so glad you could make it!" Cadance hugged the smaller unicorn as she entered the dining room of the Crystal Palace.

"I wouldn't miss this for the world," Rarity replied with a warm smile. "I was afraid that you wouldn't want to see me again, after..."

"Water under the bridge." Cadance waved her hoof dismissively. "You're still my friend, after all. Anyways, I've almost got everything set up for dinner except the wine. Would you like to come with me to the cellar to pick it up? I've got a bottle of Amontillado from before Sombra's reign waiting there just for us."

"That sounds lovely." With that, the pair set off on their quest for fine vintage. Cadance pushed open a door that led to a staircase and motioned for Rarity to walk through. "So..." Rarity paused uncertainly before continuing. "How has Twilight been since...?" She trailed off, unable to bring herself to finish the question.

"There are good days and bad," Cadance replied from behind her. They reached the bottom of the stairs, and she motioned for them to continue down the torchlit corridor. "There's been a lot of bad days recently, unfortunately. She hasn't been out of the library much."

The hallway seemed to dim as Rarity bowed her head solemnly in acknowledgement and guilt. "I was hoping she would be able to move on."

"Twilight's not exactly good at that sort of thing," Cadance replied, a flash of irritation in her voice showing through before she quashed it with a bright smile. "But let's not talk about that. You made your choice, and we all respect that. So, what's going on in Canterlot? I don't get to visit much these days."

That was a much safer topic of conversation, and Rarity regaled Cadance with stories of scandal and passion from the capital as they reached the end of the hallway.

"Over here," Cadance pointed at a doorway at the end. Rarity pushed it open and they continued downwards, deeper into the bowels of the castle. "I'm glad to see you're doing well through all this. Oh, by the way, you'll be happy to know that we just approved the building of the new Carousel location in the Empire."

"That's wonderful!" Rarity replied. They continued down this new corridor until they reached the end. Her head tilted in confusion as she noticed that there wasn't anyplace else to go.

"It's too bad you won't get to see it open."

"Wh-?" Rarity's confused reply was cut off when she turned around and saw Cadance standing a few feet away from her, her horn lighting up with magic.

"I'm sorry about this, Rarity." There was true contrition in her tone, but Cadance's eyes blazed with determination as she fired her spell at the ceiling, triggering the arcane trap she'd set up beforehand and causing a pile of rubble to come crashing down. She barely managed to glimpse Rarity's eyes widen in shock and horror before she was completely sealed off by a barrier of rock and crystal.

Muffled screams came from the other side, and Cadance ignored them.

"I didn't want to have to do this," she said, even though she knew Rarity probably couldn't hear her. "But our family has a motto that we've honoured for generations. Nemo Nos Impune Lacessit. No One Insults Us With Impunity."

She walked away from Rarity and her final fate. "You broke Twilight's heart, so now you have to pay the price. Goodbye, my friend."

Rubber Ducking (RariTwi... something)

Author's Note

Okay, so a bit of context on this one.

I've been struggling with my thesis for a little while, because my research for the past few years has been a little bit all over the place, and I couldn't find a way to unite it all. In particular, I've been stalled on my thesis proposal for way too long. Normally, I'd talk to people in my lab and try to figure it out, but with the pandemic, that hasn't been possible, so I decided to rubber duck instead -- that is, explain my problem "out loud" to something inanimate (traditionally a rubber duck) in hopes of sorting out my thoughts and figuring out something.

Then I had a better idea. Instead of just writing out or explaining my problem, I could write Twilight explaining my thesis to Rarity and have the two of them act out my thought process as I tried to get a handle on the central theme for my thesis.

What you see below is a result of this process. I've replaced a lot of math/comp sci terms with magicbabble, but the core concepts are there, just obscured enough that it's unlikely anyone will be able to track me down using this information. I have absolutely no idea if it's even intelligible without the context, but I had a lot of fun writing it, and I figured someone might get a kick out of knowing that something like this exists.

Rubber Ducking (RariTwi... something)

"Darling, you've been staring at that scroll for over an hour now, and I've yet to see you write a single word."

Twilight set down her quill, which had long since dried up. "I just don't know how to start this." She groaned. "Or finish it. Or write anything in the middle. Well, I know some of the middle, I guess, but I don't know how to join it together."

"Oh?" Rarity finished up the last of her stitching so that she could turn her full attention to her marefriend. "This is for your thesis, yes?"

"Yeah." Twilight sighed. "I've already done most of the work, but I just, I don't know how to connect it all together? I jumped around between a few different topics, and now I have to weave them all together into some kind of coherent narrative that didn't really exist in the first place."

"Well, I do have some experience with weaving, and I like to think I'm a wonderful storyteller as well." Standing up, Rarity trotted over to Twilight and sat down beside her. "Perhaps I can help?"

"Sure, why not?" On instinct, Twilight snuggled closer to her, pressing their bodies together softly. "Maybe an external perspective is what I need to figure this out."

"That's often the case, I find," Rarity said. "So, tell me, what are these pieces?"

"Well, the first one is the work I did in combining multiple spell matrices together," Twilight's horn flashed as the quill lifted, drawing out a quick diagram. "The point was to be able form a novel spell in a short amount of time by passing existing spells through an intent filter and combining them in order to achieve the desired effect. You can modify a single spell, of course." At this, the quill circled one of the example spell matrices. "But if you don't have a lot of time, it's hard to properly squeeze out everything you need from, and it's easier to do a shallow pass over multiple spells as long as you only pull out what you need from it."

There was a moment of silence as Rarity studied the diagram. "So you used this spell matrix in order to align the target intent with the source spells, then passed it through this component in order to combine them?"

Twilight nodded. "The novelty was in both this setup as well as the spell matrix that I used for extraction. It's fast and easy to conjure, which is good because of the cost of filtering through multiple spells, which is really hard to do, so you don't want to add extra mental cost if you can help it."

"I see." Rarity stared at the diagram for a bit longer before saying, "And the next piece of the puzzle?"

"Well, after this, I got into spellcasting with parity constraints." The quill began moving again. "The first problem is that no one really has a good handle on what parity even is? Beyond the fact that the actual list of magical quantities you want to have the parity property seems to keep changing with our understanding of parity casting, parity itself has multiple definitions, and most works seem to focus entirely on maintaining parity for single-cast spells, rather than partially-channelled or even fully-channelled spells."

"That sounds like a mess," Rarity said. "Though, much of magic often is, yes? A patchwork of methods created for specific reasons, with little consideration to a larger vision."

Twilight nodded. "Yup, and since we can't figure out this vision yet, I wanted to create something that was at least adaptable to all the known variations of parity. And it turns out that the previous extraction matrix could also be used to both filter a spell to preserve intent while at the same time penalizing deviations from parity. All I had to do was invert the matrix for the second part."

The quill flew across the page, writing a series of complex equations that Rarity couldn't process. Still, the core idea seemed clear enough. "So in the first case, you were filtering by the intent of the target spell, and in the second case, you were filtering according to parity." She channelled her own magic and picked up Twilight's quill, their magic auras brushing against each other and sending warmth down Rarity's spine. "It seems to me like this three-way structure is preserved in both cases."

She sketched out a skeleton of the two spell matrices Twilight had drawn previously, showing that the second was but the first with an inverted term for the external guide. "Either way," Rarity continued after finishing the diagram, "it seems like you're creating a spell using guidance from another spell."

"Huh, I guess I never thought about it like that." Twilight smiled at Rarity. "You're really good at this!"

"I do try to pay attention when you speak, dear." Rarity leaned in to press a quick kiss against her muzzle. "Your passion is quite enticing. So, with these two pieces connected, what comes next?"

"Well, this is where it gets a little awkward, because we're back to single spell-casting for now, anyways." Twilight drew a much simpler diagram on the scroll this time. "This time, it's about casting spells in an unstable environment. See, if I'm going to be casting spells that would be dangerous if cast wrong, I need a way to figure out if I've formed the matrix improperly before I release it. I can add a filter to any matrix to do a check, but only if I know what to check for.

"The standard way is to just simulate the casting and see if anything wrong happens during it, but we know that simulations aren't guaranteed to reflect what will actually happen." A knowing smirk crossed Twilight's expression that thrilled Rarity. "Unless, of course, we mould the core spell matrix so that it produces good simulations."

"So you use feedback from the simulation to force the spell matrix into place?" Rarity asked, trying to puzzle out the equations that Twilight was writing.

"Exactly!" Twilight beamed. "With the right choice of simulation, we can ensure that the spell matrix we produce will behave the same in the simulated environment and the real one." Her smile fell. "But this is also really different from the previous work I've done, other than the fact that I use the same extraction matrix to mould the spell itself."

"Well, it seems to me that you've already found your second spell, then," Rarity said. When Twilight stared at her blankly, she clarified. "The simulation, dear. Is that not its own spell?"

"Oh!" Realization lit up Twilight's eyes like fireworks. "Of course! All of these are examples of using one type of spell to extract information about another! That's perfect! Thanks, Rarity — I couldn't have done this without you." She reached out to hug Rarity, who returned the gesture with equal affection.

"It's my pleasure," she replied, sinking herself into her beloved's embrace. "I'm here for you, Twilight, whatever you may need."

"In that case..." A sheepish expression crossed her face. "Would you mind grabbing another inkwell from the storage? I think this one mostly dried out while I was thinking."

Húmellumë (RariTwi Quenya Poem/The Enchanted Library)

Author's Note

Got writer's block so I decided to write a poem in Quenya Elvish again (first time can be found at https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/929490/lilta-l-eleni-to-dance-with-the-stars-a-quenya-raritwi-poem). This one is RariTwi again, but it's also inspired by The Enchanted Library and The Enchanted Kingdom by Monochromatic, which everyone should check out if they haven't already (https://www.fimfiction.net/story/240255/the-enchanted-library).

Note that unlike the last poem, I didn't get this grammar-checked by any experts, so there's a good chance I made a mistake somewhere, and as such, this should not be used for study.

Húmellumë (RariTwi Quenya Poem/The Enchanted Library)

Romanized Transcription:

Húmellumë

Ter húmë coranári inyë eressëa.
Mornië ar lumbulë harner órenyassë.
Tá mittanet ardanyassë cólala estel.
Calina, itye i cala parmassenyo.
Atartyë, haruvan húmë coranári amba.
Atartyë, húmë atallumë.

Ter murmetya fírien húmë effírier.
Ar yá eccuinut caurë turnë olorinya.
Tá i huinë auta ar melmelva orturnë.
Meldanya, itye melehtenya ar mildenya.
Atartyë, yacuvan húmë lanyar coivienyo.
Atartyë, húmë atallumë.

Húmë nuquar taruvar epë fairinqua.
Mahtuvanquet asetyë.
Húmë tier caituvar epë mettanqua.
Patuvanquet asetyë.
Atartyë, antuvan ilya ya polin anta.
Atartyë, húmë atallumë.

Translation:

A Thousand Times

For a thousand years I was alone.
Darkness and shadows dwelled within my heart.
Then you came into my world bearing hope.
Bright one, you are the light of my library.
For you, I would endure a thousand years more.
For you, a thousand times again.

In your slumber I died a thousand deaths.
And when you awoke fear dominated my dreams.
Then the night passed and love triumphed.
Beloved, you are my strength and my weakness.
For you, I would sacrifice the thousand threads of my life.
For you, a thousand times again.

A thousand obstacles will stand before our freedom.
I will face them with you
A thousand paths will lie before our ending.
I will walk them with you
For you, I would give all I have to give.
For you, a thousand times again.

A Bold Future (Clover, Platinum, Drama, Politics)

Author's Note

Second-place finisher in the Quills and Sofa's Speedwriting Contest 90: Love Contest, with the prompt "You Promised."

A Bold Future (Clover, Platinum, Drama, Politics)

"You can't possibly expect me to sign that."

Clover met her ruler's glare without flinching. "This is our best chance at a lasting peace and a fruitful cooperation with the other two tribes, Your Majesty," she explained yet again. They'd been going at this for hours now, with Platinum going over every inch of the new Equestrian Charter and finding fault after fault with it.

Normally, Clover would be overjoyed that her liege was actually paying attention to matters of state rather than blindly delegating them, but this new alliance was far too fragile and couldn't afford her interference right now.

"It's giving up two-thirds of our coffers in exchange for a vague promise of food and good weather," Platinum retorted. "I think the cold has addled your mind."

Clover had to bite her tongue to avoid mentioning that it had been Platinum who had been frozen solid by the Windigoes. "The joint settlements in the Everfree Forest will force the Pegasi and Earth Ponies to uphold their end of the bargain. And the other exchanges between the ruling groups will ensure that everypony has enough hostages to prevent any double-crosses."

"If you think I am going to send my own retainers off to live in those squalid—"

"Your Majesty." There were only a handful of ponies in the world who could interrupt the Princess without fear of losing their heads. Fortunately, Clover was one of them. "We've been at this for hours, and you know I've already addressed every possible objection you might have. The minor details can be amended, but we need this charter to be signed now to preserve this tenuous peace."

"Well, I also don't appreciate being rushed into signing this." Platinum harrumphed. "I know Hurricane and Puddinghead don't have the keen mind to dissect a document such as this, but I, at least, have the education to be able to divine if this contract is what's truly best for us."

"Fine," Clover said. "I don't object to you reading this all, but you're clearly trying to find any excuse not to sign it." She finally decided to put down her hoof. "Why do you object to this agreement so much, Your Majesty?" Her voice was soft but firm, and Platinum knew that the time for deceptions was passed.

The princess sighed. "Do you remember the day I was crowned as princess, Clover?"

"I do, Your Majesty," Clover replied. "Despite the weather, it was a beautiful ceremony, and you looked every inch the regal princess, as you desired."

Princess Platinum gave a satisfied grunt at that. "I was, wasn't I? And do you remember the vows I made that day in front of all the kingdom?"

"I did assist in the preparations of the coronation," Clover pointed out. "So yes, I can recall each and every one of the vows you spoke that day. They were the same ones spoken by your mother, and her mother before that, and her mother before that. The records get a little muddled after that point, so it's hard to say how far back the tradition goes."

"I made a vow to love Unicornia first in my heart," Platinum continued on, ignoring Clover's aside. She glared at the document in Clover's hooves. "I swore to uphold her dignity and honour, and to protect her as if she were my own wife." She paused. "In hindsight, it is rather odd how much like a wedding ceremony the coronation is."

"One of Princess Amore's ancestors helped write the vows, as far as our scholars can discern," Clover replied dryly. "You know how that lineage is."

"Quite." Platinum's glare returned, directed at Clover this time. "And you want me to abandon my vows by signing that piece of paper. Unicornia would be dissolved in order to form this Equestria, and I will have failed to protect the nation I was wedded to. Even worse, I would be signing her own death warrant. A proper ruler would at least fight to the death for her kingdom."

"I see." And she did. Suddenly, it all made sense, while also making no sense at all. Clover put down the charter and gave her full attention to Platinum. "Your Majesty, you made another promise all those years ago, when they placed that crown upon your head. You promised to care for the ponies of Unicornia as if they were your own children, to put their needs above your own, and to be willing to sacrifice everything for them."

She gestured at a map of the kingdom that was lying on the table in front of her. "What is Unicornia, Your Majesty? Is it a name and a document declaring its existence? Is it an agreement that certain lands are under the control of your lineage?

"Or is it the ponies that call themselves yours?" At this, Clover pointed towards a painting on the wall depicting a group of mages ushering in a new day as they raised the sun and lowered the moon. "The ones who don't care what flag they fly or what the name of their kingdom is as long as those they love are safe and happy?"

Platinum shook her head. "I care for my ponies, but I also care for their dignity. Unicornia is a proud kingdom, and Equestria is not. What honour will we have in this new land?"

"We will have Harmony." Clover smiled. "Together, the three tribes can build a nation that all can be proud of, something that will surpass anything Unicornia could ever achieve. That will be the legacy you leave for your descendants, Your Majesty. The promise of a world where all ponies can have their dignity without starving or freezing to death."

There was a silence as Platinum continued to stare at the document. "Very well," she finally said, smiling nervously. "I suppose I fulfilled my promise to my ponies by saying good-bye to Unicornia."

"Unicornia will always have a place in our hearts," Clover promised. "So long as we remember our past, and learn from it, and grow from it, to become better than what we were before. That is what it means to be a ruler."

"To promises kept, then." Magic filled the air as Platinum floated a quill over and dipped it in the inkwell. With a graceful flourish, she signed her name in beautiful calligraphy.

Clover took the charter and rolled it up, ready to begin the founding of a new nation. "To a future more worthy than our past."

Another Change (RariTwi Romance/SoL)

Author's Note

Third-place finisher in the Quills and Sofa's Speedwriting Contest 34: Going Home, with the prompt "This is not how I left it/This is not how it used to be"

Another Change (RariTwi Romance/SoL)

"They're staring at us."

"Indeed they are." Rarity took another sip of her wine, carefully maintaining eye contact with the alicorn in front of her. "After all, you are the sole ruler of Equestria now."

"I guess." Twilight Sparkle sighed. "It's silly, but part of me was kinda hoping that it'd be like when I first ascended, when barely anypony paid attention to my title unless I was working in some official capacity. Looks like the Head Princess doesn't get the same luxury."

"I'm afraid we'll simply have to become accustomed to our dates becoming public spectacles." A sly smile played on Rarity's lips for the ponies watching them, and then a far more genuine one appeared for Twilight. "Imagine the scandal if you were to sweep me off my hooves right now and place a kiss upon my lips."

Twilight's cheeks flushed, matching the heat Rarity felt at the idea. Part of her wished that her marefriend would actually do it, would actually show off their love to the world in such a brazen manner before carrying her off to the Palace like something out of one of her romance novels.

Fortunately, the princess had enough sense to play by the rules tonight, instead rolling her eyes. "It's not like our love life isn't already being plastered enough across all the newspapers since we announced our relationship publicly. No need to make the paparazzi's jobs easier for them."

"I suppose." Even now, Rarity could see the occasional flash of light in her peripheral vision. She swirled her glass of wine with a hoof, taking a moment to inhale the rich scent of the very expensive vintage. "How much do you suppose the owner of this fine establishment is charging them for access to us right now?"

"Enough that I should be taxing him for it." Twilight snorted. "We could've gotten that school in the south end rebuilt by now with the money."

"At least we still have the soundproofing spell to hide us from eavesdroppers," Rarity replied. "Otherwise the admission rate would be much higher. Speaking of which, have you decided on what to do about Fancy Pants' proposal?"

Twilight frowned, lifting her own wine glass up to her lips as she considered her response. "It looks good on paper, and I trust Fancy Pants to be honest about his charitable works, but I'm worried that the other nobles will think I'm favouring him too much."

"It's a valid concern," Rarity agreed. "Perhaps I could speak to Fancy about delegating some of the responsibilities to appease the right ponies. Golden Wish, perhaps."

It was cute how Twilight's face scrunched up in distaste at the name, but Rarity would have to remember to give her some pointers on keeping a reasonable poker face. "She's going to skim some off the top using some perfectly legal loophole that I can't figure out how to close yet. You know that."

A shrug. "Sometimes, one must throw a few bones to the wolves to keep them tame."

"I still don't like it."

"Neither do I, dear, but this is how the game is played, no?"

"One day, it won't be like that." And now Twilight was pouting. Rarity would've loved to lean over and give those lips a quick peck, but etiquette had to be observed.

"And what a glorious day it shall be," she said instead. "But until then, the show must go on."

"Yay." Another sip of her wine. "Do you ever think about how things are so different now from what they used to be when we first started dating?"

Rarity laughed. "Darling, when we first began seeing each other, you were a unicorn who still thought that Celestia could do no wrong, and I had faint dreams of opening a store in Canterlot. Saying that things are different now is quite an understatement, all things considered."

"Mhm." Twilight stared into her glass. "I miss those days, sometimes. Things were… simpler, back then."

Rarity cocked her head in thought. "They were, yes. I remember when my greatest concern in life was obtaining tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala. If only I had seen then that you were far more deserving of my heart than Blueblood, things might have happened much earlier. Still, as much as those times were pleasant, I wouldn't wish to go back to them."

"No?" A scholar's curiosity from Twilight. She had this way of questioning you that didn't feel like she was judging you, and Rarity loved that about her.

"Of course not, my love." And Rarity laughed again. "Why would I ever want to give up all I've accomplished? To go back to being a pony with so little capacity to help others?" She paused and smirked. "Go back to being a pony who still didn't know all those ticklish spots on your barrel that elicits those delightful little giggles I so adore."

"Rarity!" Oh, how wonderful it was that she could still fluster her like this after all these years. At least that hadn't changed. "Anyways, I do have to agree with you. I hate that a soundproofing spell is a standard part of our date, and our dinner conversation involves trying to figure out who's the least likely to steal charity money, but I wouldn't trade this for the world."

"You bear the weight of the world well, Princess." Rarity offered her a slight bow of her head, acknowledging her status for just a moment.

"Only because I don't have to carry it alone," Twilight replied instantly. "I don't think I could've done it without you. Or the rest of our friends. But especially you."

There was a loud scraping sound as Twilight pushed her chair back and stood up. Her eyes burned with a determination that captivated Rarity. "You've been my rock since the very beginning, the one I could lean on when things got tough. You helped guide me through becoming a princess, and you helped me see what nobility was really meant to be about.

Rarity's breath caught in her throat as Twilight stepped closer. "We've supported each other through the good times and bad, and we've seen each other at our best and worst and still haven't run screaming. Our relationship isn't what it used to be, but it's still survived and even grown stronger.

"I think..." she paused, taking a deep breath. "I think I'm ready for things to change again."

When she got down on one knee, everything clicked in Rarity's head, and her heart began to pound madly as Twilight brought out a small velvet box from her dress and popped it open to show her the brilliantly-cut diamond ring inside.

"Rarity, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

Time stopped. Rarity was dimly aware that everypony in the restaurant was laser-focused on them, and were no doubt alerting all the gossips in Canterlot and beyond. But none of that mattered in that moment.

Twilight had asked her for her hoof in marriage. She wanted Forever with her, and there was only one possible answer Rarity could give to that.

"Twilight, dearest, darling, sweetheart. Of course I'll marry you. Nothing would make me happier."

The flashing lights of the cameras were almost blinding as Twilight swept her up into a passionate hug. "Oh, I'm so glad you said that. I love you so much, Rarity."

"And I you, Twilight Sparkle." A wide grin, carefree and unabashed, plastered itself on Rarity's expression as pressed small kisses against whatever part of Twilight she could reach, be it her forelegs, neck, or shoulders. "I cannot wait to begin the rest of our lives together."

"Me too." They pulled apart, and Rarity saw that Twilight's smile was as wide as her own. "So, what do you think the headlines will look like tomorrow?"

"I'm not certain," Rarity replied, "but I have no objections to giving them some positively scandalous pictures to use on the front page."

To Rarity's delight, neither did Twilight.

Asymmetry (Horror)

Author's Note

An old entry into a writeoff contest, with this image as the prompt:

Asymmetry (Horror)

The concept of relative entropy was first discovered by two ponies, Kite Back and Leafblower, and is thus sometimes known as KL Divergence. Most first-year students at CSGU are surprised to learn that an idea so fundamental to their magical studies was developed by two pegasi.

Not that they were racist or anything! It was just that, well, pegasi weren't exactly known for their theoretical mathematics, what with their outdoor predilections and their lack of telekinesis for the sheer amount of writing needed for the advanced stuff. And considering how KL Divergence is mostly used in analyzing communications channels, it's not unreasonable to think that it would've been created by unicorns trying to optimize their sending spells.

But, if one were to ask a pegasus (after explaining what KL Divergence even was because, y'know, most of them are outside clearing clouds rather than studying in the library) if they thought it was odd that one of their own had developed a concept so theoretical, they'd laugh in your face and say that of course it took a pegasus to point out something completely obvious, because the unicorns were too busy with their noses in a book to look up at the sky.

In fact, when asked about the concept, Commander Smoke Trail famously replied "Why do you think the smart unicorns live on top of mountains? Somewhere in those horns of them is a lick of sense, sometimes."

See, KL Divergence is a measure of the distance between two probability distributions. It's denoted as D(p||q), where we are measuring the distance from one probability distribution p to another probability distribution q. Like any distance metric, D(p||q) is equal to zero if and only if p and q are the same "point" in probability space, and if its value is large, then q is very far away from p.

Pegasi, as creatures of the sky, find probability very natural to them. Weather is chaos, but even in chaos there are patterns, and pegasi live or die by playing the odds with these patterns. Navigating a storm is little more than rolling the dice and making sure you remembered to weight them properly beforehoof. Most unicorns accept this as the reason why KL Divergence was first developed by two pegasi.

They're right that understanding this concept is a matter of life-and-death.

One of the more unique properties of the KL Divergence as a distance metric is as follows:

∃p,q: D(p||q) ≠ D(q||p)

That is, the distance of p from q according to KL Divergence is not always the same as the distance of q from p. This fact takes students at CSGU years to wrap their heads around and, even after graduating, most of them just write it off as an unintuitive quirk of a very useful measure. Sure, it's not actually possible for distance to be asymmetric, but if the equations work, then there's no harm in assuming that's how it is. It's the same kind of willful suspension of disbelief needed to survive Quantum Physics.

But the pegasi know that it's perfectly possible for distances to change depending on how you measure them. If the unicorns would take their eyes off their books and look up, then they'd see, among the intricate patterns of wind and water in the sky, that there are shapes that look like clouds molded in the shape of creatures, dogs and snakes and octopi and stingrays dancing about high above the mountaintops.

They are not clouds.

And the pegasi choose to stay in the skies, to live in the clouds that float higher than Canterlot itself, because they know that distances can be deceiving.

When the pegasi fly above their fellow wingless ponies, they are close to those things that swim through the air, that have wandered the heavens since the beginning of Time. And those things are far away from them.

And when their colleagues in their schools choose to stay inside, in their homes situated on the ground, they are far away from those that seek out flesh and blood and life. But the clouds-that-are-not-clouds are close to them, so close to their prey in ways that they could never understand and that they won't ever listen to the pegasi about when they try to warn them of the dangers that lurk above.

Because as the limit of D(p||q) approaches zero, p and q must take on the same values.

And every year, there are more clouds in the sky, shaped like dogs and snakes and octopi and stingrays.

And ponies.

The Enchanted Wish (TEL Isekai crackfic)

Author's Note

This is wishcometrue's fault.

The Enchanted Wish (TEL Isekai crackfic)

Wishcometrue sat in front of her computer, staring longingly at pictures of Sweetie Belle.

"Oh, Sweetie Belle," she said. "One day I'll be as cool as you." She scrolled down to the next picture of Sweetie, which was so cute that Wish felt a pain in her chest.

She was having a heart attack from the cuteness.

"Shit!" she shouted as she collapsed to the floor. "Now I'll never get to beat up Seer with that crowbar I bought last week!"

And that's how the author of Local died. :(

"Miss, are you alright?"

Wish opened her eyes and gasped.

"Hot," she whispered, staring into deep blue eyes that she could lose herself in forever.

"Oh, sorry, I should've moved you into some shade," a rich, masuline voice replied, his voice filled with care and concern.

Now that more of her wits were returning to her, Wish could see that the person in front of her was a stallion. And not just any stallion, but one she recognized from the copy of The Enchanted Library that she slept clutching to every night.

Rift Shield was even hotter in person, which shouldn't have been possible.

"I-Is this heaven?" Wish asked. She moved to stand up, and realized that she was now also a pony. That isn't me, she thought, before deciding that, actually, yes, this was wonderful and she couldn't wait to look at herself in the mirror.

"Hey, is that poor mare awake yet?" Another voice, feminine and light, sounded out from her left. Wish turned and her grin grew wider as she beheld a cute changeling wearing a blue bow.

"She is," Rift said. "And she says she's hot." He reached out a hoof towards her. "Here, let's get you into the shade. You must've hit your head pretty hard, huh?"

"Oh, I guess." Was her life as a human just a dream? Was she actually a pony in Equestria? Wish decided she didn't care, not when it meant being with this hunk and this adorable ball of cute. "Thanks," she said, grabbing his hoof and thrilling at the physical contact. "I'm Wish."

"Lieutenant Rift Shield," Rift said, leading her towards a nearby tree.

"And I'm Incantation!" Incantation chirped. "But you can call me Ink!"

"Thanks Rift, Ink," Wish said.

"So, what are you doing here in Hollow Shades?" Ink asked. "I don't think I've seen you around before."

Thinking fast, Wish said, "Oh, I'm looking for Luna's Dreamland. Do you know where it is?"

"Oh, I'm the owner!" Ink said. "Well, co-owner. I can take you there if you want. Are you looking to drop your brother or sister off there?"

So this is after the Luna arc, Wish thought to herself. I can still make this work.

"Oh, I was actually wondering if you needed any help?" Wish asked. "I love foals, and I've always wanted to get a job working with them."

"We could always use more help," Ink said. "Why don't we get you to the Dreamland and we can get a proper interview. Do you have a place to stay in Hollow Shades?"

"No," Wish replied, resisting the urge to say "how about your place?"

"Well, we'll figure something out," Ink said.

"You can always stay with us," Rift suggested.

"Us?" Wish's head tilted in confusion. The book hadn't actually mentioned why Rift would be here right now.

"Ink and I are living together," Rift explained, and the way he wrapped one foreleg around a blushing Incantation made it very clear what he meant. "You're welcome to stay with us for a bit until you get your housing situation figured out."

It took all of Wish's self-control not to pump her hoof in victory. "Sure, if you don't mind me imposing like that."

"Oh, it's always nice to have company," Ink said. She frowned for a moment, sharing a worried glance with Rift, who nodded his head slightly.

"Is something wrong?" Wish asked.

"How much do you know about changelings?" Rift replied.

"I know they feed off of love," Wish said carefully, "and that they can change their shapes. Why?"

"Well, you see..." Ink trailed off for a moment before continuing. "We changelings can sense certain emotions, too. And there's, like, a lot of desire coming from you towards us. And it's a familiar kind of desire? Like you know us already?"

"Except that we're pretty sure we've never met," Rift replied.

Wish's heart sunk in her chest. "Well, if you must know, I'm actually from another world," she said. "And in that world, Equestria is fictional, but one of my favourite stories is about Rarity and Princess Twilight, and, umm..." She blushed. "I might also have developed a crush on you two."

"Well, that's... unusual." Rift shook his head. "We really do live in an age of miracles." Once again, he shared a silent conversation with Ink.

A few seconds later, Ink piped up. "Well, I'm always up for trying new things! Let's get you back to our place and you can tell us more about yourself, and we can see where this goes?"

Wish nodded, and together, the three of them set off for Hollow Shades.

RariTwi Story Bits 1: The Argonauts Ain't Got Nothing On Us (RariTwi Romance/Adventure)

Author's Note

First published here: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/197869/raritwi-rarilight-twilight-x-rarity/thread/350962/slams-door-down--whos-up-for-story-bits#comment/6318816

Word Prompt: Warrior Sheep Watch

RariTwi Story Bits 1: The Argonauts Ain't Got Nothing On Us (RariTwi Romance/Adventure)

"What did you do, Rarity?"

"Golden fleece, Twilight! You didn't tell me the King of the Sheep had golden fleece!"

"So you sheared him in his sleep?"

"Only a little! I just needed it for accents for a commission I'm working on, and it matched perfectly with the ensemble. Surely you understand the desire for perfection."

"I can't believe it. This is the second time we've had to run for our lives this month because of you."

"The incident with the Sultan was hardly my fault, darling. That watch clashed horribly with the rest of his attire. It's true that you can accent gold with silver, but a traditional Saddle Arabian style should not be paired with Minotauran accessory. Taking the watch was an act of charity, really."

"That watch was also a gift from the Warrior-Prince of the Minotaurs. Honestly, I don't even know why I still bring you along on these diplomatic visits. You're nothing but trouble."

"Ah, but I'm your trouble, my dear Princess, n'est-ce pas? And besides, the Sultan was going to declare war on Equestria no matter how the visit turned out, and the watch came in quite handy when we had to convince the Minotaurs that the Saddle Arabians had scorned their gifts and getting them to back us against the Sultan."

"I would've been able to talk him out it eventually."

"Don't pout, dear. It's unbecoming of a Princess of Equestria. Besides, I'm sure this little incident will work itself out for the best as well."

"Oh, and how do you know that?"

"Well, the queen confided in me that as much as she desires her husband, his refusal to have himself groomed has been quite off-putting as of late, a sentiment that I was most able to sympathize with."

"Hey! I'm not that bad at taking care of myself!"

"Darling, I once had to trim your mane while you were reading because you refused to take time out of your schedule to visit a barber."

"I wanted to spend more time with you!"

"And I treasure every moment with you, my dear Princess, but I would treasure it more if you were presentable when we are together. Anyways, as I was saying, I think the queen should be able to convince her husband to call off his anger, and in the future I think he will be in a much better mood during negotiations after a few nights with his very fetching wife."

"You know, it would be a lot easier if you'd just tell me these things before you go and do them."

"Now where would be the fun in that? You did marry me partly because of my spontaneity, after all. So, where are we going next? After the king's guards give up the chase and we smooth things over here, that is."

"Well, I do have a summit in Maretonia next month..."

"Ooh! Have you heard about the royal pearls that the duke supposedly only wears in battle? They're supposed to be the largest in the world. What I wouldn't give to see them just once..."

"Rarity!"

RariLight Bomb Day 2: First Class (RariTwi Romance/SoL)

Author's Note

First published here: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/197869/raritwi-rarilight-twilight-x-rarity/thread/350962/slams-door-down--whos-up-for-story-bits#comment/6427572

This is the second in a series of entries written for the RariLight Bomb Tumblr event, in which the goal was to produce RariLight content every day for five days. I chose to use the five word prompts given to us by Monochromatic.

Word Prompt: Luck Train Queen

RariLight Bomb Day 2: First Class (RariTwi Romance/SoL)

"I just cannot believe this. Of all the rotten luck!"

As the doors to the train opened, Twilight stepped aboard, a very irate Rarity trailing behind her. A veritable cloud of luggage surrounded her as she daintily stomped down the hall towards their cabin. "We had to stand in line with everypony else!"

"Umm, they let us board first," Twilight couldn't help but correct. "I actually feel a little bad for cutting in front of everyone."

Rarity waved a hoof dismissively. "You're a princess, dear. It was the least they could do after failing to provide you with a proper car."

"Even the Princess Car needs routine maintenance." Twilight shrugged as she stepped into the opulent cabin.

"It's fortunate that they still had a first-class cabin open. Can you imagine if we had to ride Coach?" A shudder ran through her entire body as Rarity collapsed onto the plush seating, stretching out her lithe body in a way that captivated Twilight's gaze.

Twilight poked Rarity's barrel with a hoof, a teasing smile playing on her lips. "Careful, Rarity, or I might think you're dating me for my status."

"Oh, pish-posh. Everypony knows that I chose you as my paramour for your ravishingly beautiful physique." Rarity shot Twilight a half-lidded stare that sent fiery chills down her spine. "And your lovely habit of treating me like a queen, of course."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Of course, your majesty." She climbed up onto the seat snuggled up to Rarity, letting off a soft coo of delight as she pressed herself against her marefriend. "This isn't so bad, right? As long as we have each other, nothing else matters."

A snort tickled her neck as Rarity spoke. "You have much to learn about being a princess, Twilight. Luckily, you have me to teach you."

Twilight smiled. "Yes, I do."

Parity Error (RariTwi Modern Humanized Hacker/Sex Worker AU)

Author's Note

Third-place finisher in the Quills and Sofas Speedwriting Contest 80: Alternate Universe Contest, with the prompt "Close to Home."

A note before we get to the story proper: this was written in 90 minutes, and it's an idea that needs way more than 90 minutes. There's a lot of plot holes, and the whole thing is very rushed. I had always meant to expand and clean it up, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this premise worked best as a slow-burn SoL longfic, the kind that takes years to complete, and I'd probably change a lot of details as well (for one, Rarity would be running a Darknet safe haven for sex workers to connect and share resources, rather than running the escort service out of the Darknet, which makes no sense).

Maybe I'll write that story one day, and maybe I won't, but I realized that there was no point in polishing this fic when it's fundamentally flawed, and also that the story I want to write is different enough that there's no harm in releasing this. So enjoy a fun little look at an AU that will never be.

Parity Error (RariTwi Modern Humanized Hacker/Sex Worker AU)

"Well hello, my dear!"

Twilight Sparkle looked startled at the greeting, turning from the row of mailboxes to stare wide-eyed at her. "Oh, hello, Rarity," she said politely, looking anywhere but at her eyes, and Rarity tried to hide a smirk at her blush. "Are you here to pick up your mail too?"

"I am." As much fun as it was to tease her neighbour over her obvious crush, Rarity wasn't one to play with the heart of someone so innocent. It was poor form, really. So instead, she acted like Twilight wasn't playing the part of a teenager with a crush to a T and walked over to her own mailbox. "I do hope I get something less mundane than bills today."

She fished her keys out of her purse and opened the lock. "Drat," she said with a sigh as she saw nothing within, before turning her attention back to Twilight. "And you, dear? Anything interesting?"

"Just a package I ordered a few days ago," Twilight mumbled, clutching a cardboard box to her chest.

"More books?" Rarity asked with a teasing smile. "You know, I always imagined a librarian would have more than enough of those at her place of work to need to buy more on such a regular basis."

The blush on Twilight's cheek deepened. She really was quite adorable, Rarity had to admit. "I just really like books." She started walking up the stairs, and as they'd done several times before, Rarity followed after her.

"So I see. Anything interesting this time?"

As they always did, Twilight Sparkle's eyes lit up at that. "Oh! The library received a new book on the life of Princess Platinum! It's written by a scholar from Hayvard who's been studying the new records they unearthed from that excavation in Old Canterlot!"

It was always a delight to hear the bookworm speak so passionately about a book she liked, and this time, Rarity had her own points to add. "Ah, Princess Platinum. And I suppose that this scholar also wishes to paint a thin veneer of decency over the history of one of our beloved Founders?"

"Actually, Script Keeper is one of the advocates of telling the full truth about the Founders," Twilight said, "which means that she provided the evidence for some of Platinum's more... controversial years. When she was just a commoner."

"You mean when she was a commoner and a whore," Rarity said, then smirked at how uncomfortable Twilight looked at the word.

"I— yes," she finally admitted as they rounded another corner and reached the third floor. of the apartment complex. Then, with a slightly stronger tone of voice, she said, "actually, I'm glad they're doing it. We shouldn't hide away the truth just because some people might be ashamed of it."

"And are you one of those people?" Despite her light, teasing tone, Rarity felt herself tense slightly at the question and hated herself for doing so. She shouldn't have cared what Twilight thought.

Fortunately, Twilight quickly shook her head. "No, no! Of course not!" she quickly said, then peered up at Rarity curiously. "You aren't either, right?"

Something in her tone bothered Rarity, like she already knew what her answer would be even if they'd never discussed this topic before. Still, she ignored the feeling and replied, "I think it's a very respectable profession, even if others might not feel the same, and it makes me very happy to know that Platinum understood the plight of the common people before going on to found our nation."

"That's a good way to put it, I guess." They were almost at the fifth floor now. Twilight seemed more relaxed now around her as she asked, "And what about you? How has that commission for that client been going? The one from Upper Canterlot?"

"Oh, it's a trial, but what is art if not a struggle to produce greatness?" After so many years of lying, Rarity barely even felt a pang of guilt as she spun her tale. "I fear he was quite demanding, but I think I've found a way to fulfill all of his needs without compromising my vision."

"That's good," Twilight said, oblivious to the truth. "I imagine it's hard having to design clothes for clients who aren't well-versed in your craft."

"Such is art," Rarity replied with a dramatic huff. They reached the fifth floor, and she walked over towards the door to her apartment. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I must continue my work. Have a nice afternoon, darling."

"You too, Rarity." Twilight stood outside her own door awkwardly for a few seconds, her previous nervousness returning in full force. Her blush, too, had returned, and when she finally spoke, it was barely above a whisper. "Rarity?" she asked, and the woman in question felt a slight worry build up in her gut.

"Yes, Twilight?"

"I— never mind, good night." With that, she turned around and fumbled with the lock of the door, nearly dropping her keys before finally getting it open and rushing inside, the door slamming behind her.

Rarity let out a breath of relief. She knew what Twilight had wanted to ask, of course. Her poor girl's crush couldn't be any more obvious, but as much as Rarity enjoyed their time together, she simply couldn't be someone so... nervous. She liked confidence in a woman, and as attractive as Twilight was when she was a stammering mess, she wanted a partner she could dance with in a battle of wits and heart, not run circles around.

Besides, her heart was already set on someone else.

Entering her own modest apartment and closing the door behind her, she quickly scanned the room to make sure nothing was out of place. One could never be too careful in Rarity's line of work.

Once she had satisfied her paranoia, she made her way over to her computer room. She sat down and powered on her machine. A few keystrokes revealed a login screen, and a few more keystrokes revealed the secret partition on her hard drive which she had programmed to self-destruct if the wrong person tried to access it.

She entered in the appropriate credentials, and her computer began to reboot into a custom operating system that only a handful of people in the world even knew existed. It was a necessity in her true line of work, the one that her dressmaking business was a cover for.

Not that she wasn't an incredibly talented artist in that regard, but she had long ago learned that there were better ways to pay the bills than to compromise her artistic integrity.

Compromising one's virtue was much more fun, anyways.

Her fingers flew across the keyboard as she fired up a shell and quickly entered a few commands, running diagnostics on the website she hosted on the Darknet. As usual, there had been a few attempts to breach the security — whether by law enforcement or so-called white-hat hackers, she couldn't be sure — but nothing had gotten past her defences.

After all, Rarity had hired the best to construct them.

She pulled up an encrypted chat client and began looking through any messages she had received. A few clients had put in requests that she would have to deal with, and one of the girls was calling in sick tonight, which would be a minor issue.

Luckily, her client wasn't the picky sort, and in short order, she had contacted someone else she had on staff and arranged for her to meet him instead. She'd have to offer Jet Set a discount, but it would preserve their working relationship. A quick message to Coco wishing her all the best in her recovery and a promise to Sassy that she would be paid full price and that matter was settled.

A new pop-up alerted her to the fact that one of her repeat customers was back. Fleur was specifically requesting a night with Rarity, and Rarity immediately replied with her standard rates and a list of available times. The heiress was always good for a good time, and even more importantly, treated her and her staff with respect and paid on time with generous tips, so Rarity made sure to give her top priority.

A few more minor issues came up, but they were all business as usual, and Rarity found herself growing quite bored after an hour of making arrangements and sorting out schedules. Running an escort service was surprisingly mundane, most days.

Luckily, there was always someone she could count on to spice things up.

She opened up another chat client and saw her head of security already online. This client had no logs saved for everyone's safety, so she couldn't look to see if she'd tried to send a message to her before. Still, as the second one online, it was customary for her to initiate the conversation.

PlatinumBeauty: hello, darling. Did you miss me?

She waited a few seconds before the reply came.

Hex: You know I always do, my radiant diamond.

Platinum giggled as she typed again.

PlatinumBeauty: ah, but a lady likes to hear that she's wanted.
Hex: In that case, it felt like I was standing next to a black hole while you were gone.
PlatinumBeauty: oh, because all the light in the world seemed to fade without me?
Hex: That, and time felt like it had slowed to a standstill. You know, because time dilates around a black hole.

Rarity suppressed a sigh. As romantic as Hex could be, the mysterious hacker could also be a bit of a pedant and ruin all the fun. It was also a challenge to rack her brain and determine a thoughtful response to her banter.

PlatinumBeauty: well, I'm here now, to act as your frame of reference.

Hopefully she'd used the term right. If not, then it would be a few minutes before Hex finished her lecture.

Hex: I'd love to be inside you, my precious gem.

There wasn't really any point in letting out an offended gasp when there was no one around to hear it, but Rarity believed in authenticity in one's performance.

PlatinumBeauty: just for that, I'm going to ask that we move on to business rather than grace you with my dazzling wit.
Hex: Alright, fine. I know you'll come around eventually anyways. I see you've checked the logs already — nothing stands out but I'm worried about a new zero-day attack I've been hearing some talk about.
PlatinumBeauty: the one that SpeedCoder69's been bragging about having access to?
Hex: Yes. I had dismissed the claim, but SmileSmileSmile has been talking about an exploit in the database software, and you know she doesn't lie about this.
PlatinumBeauty: so what can we do?
Hex: I think it might be best to move to...

The conversation lasted another half-hour, and by the end of it, she had worked out some preliminary safeguards with Hex. It would be a headache to implement, but she wasn't about to put any of her girls at risk of being exposed by someone with an agenda to push.

And with Hex working with her, they'd be done in much less time than when Rarity had been doing this alone.

Hex: Okay, I'll code up a prototype to send over to you by tomorrow for review.
PlatinumBeauty: wonderful! You know, sometimes I feel like I'm not paying you enough for all you've done for us.
Hex: Being in your presence is payment enough, That, and the amount you normally wire to me every month.

Rarity felt another pang of longing as she continued to type. Hex really was quite the charmer, and it was a shame they couldn't ever meet. Still, it was fun to let her imagination play.

PlatinumBeauty: well, if you ever find out who I really am, then I'll be happy to offer you a night with me on the house. My treat, and my pleasure as well.
Hex: Careful, I might actually take you up on that offer.
PlatinumBeauty: i'll be sure to wear my finest silks for you. You'll never be able to get satisfaction from anyone else ever again.
Hex: Heh, you really are just like the real Platinum, huh? You should see what Script Keeper says about what she did with the emperor before she married him.

Rarity froze. It had to be a coincidence.

PlatinumBeauty: Oh, I've heard of that book. I wonder if my local library has it?
Hex: It does.

And now her heart was beating so hard Rarity thought it would explode out of her chest.

PlatinumBeauty: And how, pray tell, do you know this?

Silence on the other end.

It couldn't be. There was no way that...

Rarity stood up and opened the door of her apartment, only to see Twilight tripping in her haste to get out of her apartment. "Is everything alright, dear?" she asked, suspicion clouding her voice. "You seem quite troubled. It's almost like someone put a hex on you." She wanted to laugh, but the stricken expression on Twilight's face scrambled all of her thoughts.

"I, uhh..." It was funny, really. Twilight was such a terrible liar, and yet Rarity had been completely blind to her greatest secret, simply because it had never occurred to her that Twilight Sparkle could possibly have been the mysterious hacker she was crushing on.

"How long have you known?" Rarity demanded. Yes, that was a safe question, one that wouldn't immediately open up a massive can of worms. Just a small one.

"Six months ago," Twilight admitted. "After I hacked into the bank where you keep your earnings."

"I see." Rarity shook her head. "So you knew the whole time that I knew—"

"That I had a crush on you?" Twilight blushed. "Yeah."

"I don't understand," Rarity said. "Hex was confident, debonair, charming. You know well enough what I thought of Twilight Sparkle."

"It's... easier when I'm online." And that was the Twilight she knew, refusing to look her in the eyes. "I feel like I can be an equal to you then. In person, I'm just.." she gestured to herself. "Plain old Twilight who talks too much about stuff no one cares about. And you're..." she pointed at Rarity. "You're Rarity, who's so beautiful and charming that half the Canterlot Elite want you and are willing to pay ludicrous sums of money for you. Why would you want me?"

Rarity sighed. "Twilight, I happen to find our talks delightful, and you know well enough that inner beauty means much more than outer beauty to me. I never really had the chance to see the true Twilight Sparkle because you were always too nervous around me, but I did get to know Hex, and I think she's delightful."

"I... I don't know if I can be Hex for you in the real world," Twilight said, bowing her head in shame.

That wouldn't do at all. "Well, I do," Rarity said, reaching out to cup Twilight's chin and raise her head. "Once you see that I'm just as much Rarity as I am Platinum, you'll understand that you're the only one who truly sees all of me." She smirked. "That is, if you're willing to date a whore."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "You know I don't care about that."

"Then you're already a far better person than most of the Canterlot Elite who desire me so much, though that's hardly a high bar to clear," Rarity replied. She lowered her voice down to a sultry whisper "And besides, I don't offer a free night to just anyone, hmm?"

Twilight blushed even redder as Rarity smouldered at her, before taking a deep breath. "You don't, but I'm aware that you use other retention strategies such as providing discounts to first-time customers and a loyalty program with other perks." Of course she would enter Lecture Mode while trying to regain her footing with her.

Rarity laughed. "I suppose you're right, my dear. So, do you think you have what it takes to date such a savvy businesswoman?"

Twilight smiled, and for the first time, Rarity saw a little bit of the magic that had charmed her return to her demeanour. "My precious diamond, I would love nothing more than to bring into the light what we started in the dark."