Always a greater fall

by Koekelbag

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Romance, Drama, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2757

What will you do if, sometimes, tragedy overwhelms love?

An old mare reminences about her past.

Written for the "A Two-Faced Charade" contest.

Also, has no coverart, because I couldn't find any pics of a blurry pic (or I'm probably to lazy, oh well).

Published 2018-02-28 21:20:06 UTC
Last updated 2018-02-28 21:20:06 UTC

No matter how high one can climb.

Author's Note

Written literally the last day of the contest, I should be long sleeping, so errors are to be expected.

No matter how high one can climb.

A picture, that was all what was needed. Just a dusty, decayed, faded photograph, without a frame of any kind, was enough to bring back memories. Memories of joy, happiness, delight. Memories of fear, uncertainty, discovery...
But also, and most prominently, memories of anger, sadness, confusion... betrayal.

Oh, dear child. Young, sweet, innocent child, why couldn't you just leave it alone? Well, I probably know why, you got that foolhardyness from me after all, but still.

Sigh.

Now look what you've done, making an mare well past her time think back to her old days, back to... Him.

"Hey, Granny?" She had asked. I was just busy making the latest batch before we sell tomorrow, and when I turned around I saw her standing there, something clenched between her teeth. "Whatever seems to be the problem, dear?" She put whatever she was holding down next to the batch, a picture of some kind, and began talking.

"Well, while I was looking around for old photographs for my school project, the one I mentioned before, I dropped something that rolled behind the closet in the attic, and when I went to retrieve it I also saw this photo lying a bit further. And, well, I don't know what quite to make of it. "

I thought I had gotten rid of the old thing, of anything relating to him, but... Apparently not. It had a few ponies on it, most of whom have already gone, but of course she noticed two ponies, one of which she had recognised. Me, and... her grandfather.

I had been silent for a while, until I noticed that she was looking a bit worried. "What... what is bothering you, dear?" I asked, afraid of the answer I would receive. She stood up on her hindlegs and got a bit closer, pointing at the ponies in the photograph. "Well, Granny, isn't this an old family-photo? Like, I have seen all of these ponies in the family album, all great-aunts and uncles, grand-aunts and uncles, and even you, right here." She pointed at a young mare, hair braided in two long pony tails. "But... who's this here colt, right next to you?" She asked, as she shifted slightly to the right, pointing to a young stallion with a dumb grin on his face. "I've never seen this one before. I even went and checked the old albums, 'cause I didn't want to interrupt you, but... I never found him anywhere."

How young and innocent we were back then, weren't we? Me, a young mare in the spring of her life, and you, one of the most kind and gentle ponies I had ever met.

She looked at me expectantly, the question hanging in the air. A question I was, admittedly, hesitant to answer. "Why, dear, that's your grandfather." Her eyes immediately widened at that. "My gramps? Really? Huh, reckon this is the first time I ever saw a picture of him." She said, still bewildered.

I'm still surprised that there was anything left in this house with your face on it. I was so sure I had destroyed anything and everything that could remind me of you.

"Well, he was a tad shy, and really didn't fancy these, for us quite new, camera obsca... Obsce... whatever they were called back then. If I remember right, this was the only time we were able to hold him still enough to not ruin the family photo. "

She looked at me again, with an unsure look in her eyes. I knew why she looked like that, as I had always avoid talking about my late husband.

" Is that so? Say, Granny... would you mind, eh, telling me more about him? I'm, kinda curious now. " She asked, still a bit unsure, but more determined.

"Sure, I guess I can talk a bit while working. Take a seat, what do you want to know?" I responded, continuing my work. If anything, I took my mind away from what I was about to do.
She pulled one of the chairs forward with a bit of effort, and climbed on up.
"Eh, okay... How did you first meet?"

A dense forest. I was just plucking some berries for diner, when I suddenly heard a branch crack and loud yelling. I remember you were almost as startled as me, though for different reasons. Not wanting to scare a girl while you were up on that branch, as you told me afterwards. The branch had disagreed to your weight, and both of you went down.

"Well, back when we first started this little town, we were still a small group. When I went into the forest to gather some supplies, I met your grandfather there, as his family was staying there. They were a wandering group, and just happened to take a day's rest there. I'm not sure how we did it exactly, but my family managed to convince them to stay with us. When that happened, we wanted to take a few mementos of it, one of which you seem to have found."

She looked back at the picture, eyes widening a bit, before looking back at me. "Wait, hang on, wasn't everyone in this picture a member of the family?" To which I responded; "To you, yes. To me, about half the people you see eventually became my family in law."
"Oh, I see. So, what then? When did you two, eh, grew close?"

I remember it vividly, even now. You, lying in the grass, whistling on a blade. Me, approaching you to say supper was nearly done. And when I approached, you gave me that smile, that... damned smile, a smile that made me feel so safe, so happy, so... so...

Before I knew it, I had kissed you. You being the shy pony back them, you blushed and nodded, trying to ignore what just happened. 'Yeah, let' s go eat', you said, and we didn't bring it up further that day. But I'm pretty sure we both knew the other felt the same back then, didn't we?

"I don't know when, to be honest. These things just... grow, you know. A thing happened here, another there, and before I knew it we were getting married, I suppose." I said. She was thinking a bit, before asking "You know, I don't remember ever seeing pictures of that. The wedding, I mean."

"I already said that we never got him on photo again, right? Well, the second time we did try, the camera exploded, just like that! Gave a real fright to everyone, but especially your gramps. If he knew there was a camera somewhere, he wouldn't come a mile near it, that's how startled he was. Anyway, as for the wedding photos, the album they were put in was lost when it was a bit too warm one day. The storage shed had caught fire, and while we were able to put it out and save a lot of stuff, that album had gotten a big splash of water, making it all soppy and unreadable. A real shame, that. "

"Oh, , she said, a bit disappointed. "Um... Can you tell me about it then, please?"

"Sure. It was a grand thing. Our family had grown quite a bit, and from all over the land members of both families came to see it. Food as far as the eye could see! Over two hundred guests, the roaring noise after the kiss that sealed it was so loud I think a few of the younger ones are still deaf from it even today. " I continued talking about the wedding for a bit, finishing with "I reckon that was the third grandest day of my life."

And even greater night. Even though we had had a few rolls in the hay here and there, they were more mostly inexperienced fooling around, but you started to learn my body better and better, as I did yours. When everyone finally went to sleep, we went to our 'love nest' our families had created, and went on to have the best romp we ever had, remember?

"Your third day? How come it isn't the first?" She asked, a bit confused.
"Oh, quite simple, " I replied. "the second best day is when each three of you were born. Since I can't put a measure on how much I love each and every one of you, those three days share a second place." She blushed a bit at this, before saying "And the first?" "Why, the birth of your father of course."

That was also one of the worst days, as foalbirth always hurts like heck. I had passes out from the pain, but not until I had head the first cries of my own offspring... My son. I was so... so, happy, when I came back to and saw you lying there next to me, holding our little boy in your arms. Truly, that moment had been the best of my entire life, be it past or present, as I'm sure it was yours.

She was surprised again. "F-Father? Ah, no... That was to be expected, right." She dropped her head, clearly troubled by something, though I can guess what that something is. "You know, I... I miss Dad, and Mom. I mean, I can... barely remember them at this point. Do you... Do you think they'll be back soon?" She asked, her eyes getting a little wet.

My son, and his wife. Ha, weren't we mad when she had brought back one of them, wasn't it? Sure, I more than you, but we gave them both a scolding. But, if three kids were any indication, that hadn't stopped them... and how glad we were for them, weren't we? Seeing them play with their foals like we did with our son...

And then they died.

Stupid accident, really. A rotten tree that fell the wrong way. He even tried to save her, leaping in to push her out of the way, guess he got that from you.

"I don't know, dear." I said, moving closer to hug her. "We both know they are on an important mission, right? Exploring the lands beyond the mountains."

No-one wanted to tell our grandfoals, at the time. Not you, me, or even her parents. How could we? No-one should say their children have died, no-one, so how could we to their children? Eventually, a long time after you left, the oldest had figured it out. It was... not a conversation I wanted to hold. When the middle one found out too, I at least had her brother to help me. But the youngest, she doesn't know. Or, I think she doesn't know. Though, if she does, and is just playing along to spare me the sadness, I... I don't know which I would prefer.

Heh, pathetic, are you even listening to this? Unsure if telling a child their parents have died is worse then hoping to not tell at all, some matron I am.

"Yeah, sure. I just... I just wish they would let something know, every once in a while." She said, wiping away the not-quite tears from her eyes as I held her. "I know, dear, I hope it too."

"So, uh, then what? I know gramps, eh..." She seemed reluctant to finish her sentence, so I helped her along. "Died, you mean?"

Still, it seemed that neither us or them handled their sudden loss well, huh? Like I said before, no-one should tell another their children died. So how do you expect them to cope with it if they have to bury them as well? Well, I'll tell you how.
You don't. Sure, you try to forget. Try to block it out. Act as if they are still there, as I did. Or, share your tears with somepony else, as you did.

But not with me.

Not. With. Me.

You know, I still haven't figured it out. You want to lean om somepony's shoulder to share the burden? Sure, that works.

But you didn't do it with me.

Why not?

It hadn't even been a month, did you realize that?

It hadn't been a month since they died.

So why did you do it then?

Why did I come home, finding you balls deep in her, huh?

"Nothing much happened, to be honest. Life went it's way, day after day." I said, trying to sound casually. "But, I reckon neither of us was prepared for what was about to happen a month later."

Why didn't you share it with me?

"You mean, when he died?" she asked, a bit fearful for what I supposed my reaction to her question. But I responded calmy, clearly. "Yeah, I said. his death."

"How did, how did it happen, Granny?" She asked. "Did he go out peacefully?"

Why wasn't it me?

"He saved me, you know?" Her eyes widened, holding her breath. "A tree fell the wrong way, right on top of me if he hadn't pushed me out of the way." I said, tears now welling up in my eyes. Upon seeing this, she started to tear up too, for real this time, and hugged me fiercely.

You know, just a while ago I had a talk with the youngest, about you, us. I told her you died back then, when I discovered you and her, and do you know the funny thing? I don't know if I lied.

Because, you know, to me, then and there? You died, simply as that. I couldn't comprehend it. I was filled with so much anger and betrayal, I yelled at you to get out and never come back again.

And you did.

"I'm sorry for bringing it up, honestly." She whispered, crying. I held up her chin, tear-stained eyes looking into tear-stained eyes, and whispered back. "Never, ever, be sorry for talking about family. You got that?"

None of them know what happened to you. Telling two of them about what happened to their parents, I could do that. It was, oh, so hard, but possible.

But telling them about you? About how you betrayed everything we had?

Never.

Hah, it's funny. They say that lies are told the most easy when they contain a part of truth. They never said which truth that was. Sure, the elder two were a bit suspicious once I told them about what really happened to their parents, but... in our line of work, such things are not that uncommon. Rare, sure, but I think they bought it in the end.

I hope.

"Yeah, thanks Granny." She said, fastening her red ribbon. "Of course, dear Apple Bloom. Now git, ah do reckon you still have a school project to finish."
"Oh, apples! Thanks, Granny Smith" She said, and she walked away.

And here I am, then. The Zap Apple Jam jars are all done, AJ should be nearly finished with dinner, and I'm rocking in my chair, this damned photo lying on the railing. I noticed that the tears have stopped once again.

You know, this is probably the last thing I will ever see you on, and I mean it. I had gotten a letter a few months ago, from your family, stating that you had died. I didn't read the rest of it, it's still lying in my personal cupboard, and I...

Well, I reckon Ah don't know what to do now with this old thing. 'Cause you know what? After I got that letter, I tried, for the first since forever, think back to the last time I saw you. And when I pushed past all the memories of anger, hatred... well, I've said it enough now. When I got past all that, I remember... tears. On both of your faces, seemed like you both had been bawling your eyes out.

Trying to think about it rationally, you probably invited her to come, or she came to you, doesn't matter really. One of you probably wanted to share stories, trying to deal with everything going on, and from one thing came another, just like how I told Apple Bloom was how we got engaged.

But it wasn't logical, was it?

No, of course it wasn't. It wasn't at all.

And you know why?

Because it wasn't with me.